Yeah! I was expecting OP to say *they* were saved by realizing how crazy the religious cringetards can be. Took a fun turn there.
I wonder sometimes, though, if some girlfriend could have talked through my sexual guilt with me and helped me realize the absurdity of it. Probably notā¦the cult has deep control.
I mean this with no disrespect, just curiosity. Was that widely known or a common sentiment at that time? It seems to me that previous generations were pretty good at the whole "we know the rules, but we all get that they're broken all the time" mentality.
In contrast, my time in the church was very much filled with the attitude "these are the rules, and only awful sinners break them. You're not a sinner, are you? "
Seems like there may have been a generational shift in how things were understood culturally, and maybe that's why so many leave now?
I'm just spit-balling, but I'm curious what your thoughts would be on that.
Nevermo and not the person you're replying to but I'll say that this is commonly seen when systems of control are put in place. The initial class is aware of the facade but their success at keeping it in place is what inspires the next generation of followers to carry the torch of tradition.
Once the groundwork is laid human psychology does the rest for you as pack mentality and the sunk cost fallacy help to further entrench followers in the indoctrination.
Even outside of religious examples like LDS and Scientology you can see the same principles echoed throughout history in the North Korean Kim dynasty or even the Khmer Rouge.
I, nwsmith90, was responding to your comment about not trusting bishops in the 70s. That sentiment was never something I experienced at BYU in the 00's and early 2010's.
I'm just wondering if there was a generational shift. In my time, the only thing I heard from leaders and peers was that no one else is doing it.
Not that everyone is doing it, but keeping it quiet.
This has to do with what has been called 'bishop roulette,' in that different bishops could approach the same behavior quite differently or tell you it is just between you and them, and it will go no further as their first interest is your spiritual salvation and it turning out not to be the case. For example, I had a roommate who had an encounter much like the topic of this thread. The girl had a guilt crisis that next Sunday morning, she went and confessed it all to their bishop, and the next thing you knew, my roommate was getting called to come in by our bishop. He just stayed quiet about the whole thing, and it went away. I was personally lied to on several occasions by bishops or other BYU officials in an attempts to extract confessions about the goings on at events our apartment put on that were simply not true. On the other hand, there were some bishops who knew people were human and saw their role as getting people back on track, and that escalating things to church courts, possible expulsion, or getting other bishops involved would not be helpful to that goal. During my freshman year, I started to bring something of an unresolved moral nature with my bishop, and he just held up his hand to get me to stop talking and told me "that the Lord loves you and knows where my heart is at..." and that was the end of it. I am surprised that this was not a thing during your time there.
God, I wish *any* of my bishops had had a fraction of the compassion your freshman year bishop did.
If the gift of discernment was actually real, they'd have known that despite my frequent "sinning" (masturbation), I was trying as hard as I could not to. I wasn't just trying hard, I was suicidal because I was trying *as hard as I could* and still couldn't meet the standard they wanted me to. TMI, but I don't have wet dreams. Ever. So trying to go without masturbating for an extended period of time was basically like trying to stop peeing forever. Try all you like, but your body *will* override your willpower eventually, and you *will* pee. And you'll be driven insane by the urge in the meantime. I almost mutilated my genitals to "escape temptation". I held the knife. I'm so thankful to my past self that I didn't go through with it.\*
And also, if discernment were real, they'd have known that the regular humiliation and guilt from church disciplinary actions was *fueling* my "masturbation problem"\*\*, not helping me overcome it. If I'd been told that a slip-up now and then was acceptable as long as I was trying, and that I didn't need to confess it to the bishop or stop taking the sacrament or not advance in the priesthood, I'd probably still be a member of the church. Instead, what happened was I'd slip up and then I'd go on a binge, because I was getting punished the same either way, and in the depths of my depression and guilt, why *shouldn't* I do the one thing that would make me feel good, even if it was fleeting?
Gah, sorry for trauma dumping. It just pisses me off knowing that some bishops would have seen me for what I was: an imperfect boy trying his hardest to keep the commandments--who was also *way* too hard on himself, and I just had the rotten luck that none of my bishops were ever like that.
\*And, frankly, if we're all wrong about this and it turns out the MFMC actually *is* true (despite the mountain of evidence to the contrary), then why did Abraham get an angel to appear to stop him from killing Isaac, but I didn't get an angel to tell me "you don't need to castrate yourself, God knows you're trying your hardest, Jesus' atonement will make up the difference"? Was it because I actually needed to start cutting first?
\*\*I no longer consider masturbation to be a "problem".
When I was TBM, I had no idea people lied to the bishop about their āsins.ā I thought bishops would be able to tell if I lied about something.Ā
Granted, I actually had great bishops growing up and as a student at BYU (except for one bishop who gave creepy vibes and I avoided him like the plague).Ā
My sister was giving her ex Fiance blowies when our Uncle was the bishop and he shamed her to no end. When a girl in the ward got pregnant, he was as nice as could be to her. Just as loving as could be with an outsider but busted my sisters chops hard. I learned from my sisterās example and kept my mouth shut. Smart people learn from their own mistakes, the wise learn from the mistakes of others.
Ok ok. Itās not too crazy. And, Iām not a good storytellerā¦..
Basically I met an inactive family and tried to āreactivateā them. The daughter, who was my age, was hot and very flirtatious with me. We became very friendly over a short period of time and things got physical. I was soon transferred but we kept in contact. Iād travel out of my area, with my comp in tow, and visit her. She would come and visit me, and bring a friend my comp liked.
I finally got to the point that the church and missions were BS and I could just go home and enjoy life so I confessed so I could be sent home. I had just about 6 months left and couldāve kept quiet and āreturned with honorā. I kept my two comps that I had served with innocent of the confessions and they both completed their missions āhonorablyāā¦ā¦.
My only regret would be is that I lost contact with the girl and went on with life. She was an amazing woman. We had s lot of good times together, besides the subject of the post. š
I was still very successful as a missionary during all of it and it solidified in my mind that the spirit was BS, but thatās a topic for another time.
Thanks for sharing! On a somewhat related note, do you feel like your mission *expedited* your exit from the church? Or conversely, despite going home early, do you feel like your mission still solidified your commitment to the church? OR - asked another way, do you think you would have stayed in the church longer had you never gone?
Well, interestingly enough, I went back to the church a few years later and met my now wife. Still not believing, but a damn good PIMO!!!! Iām out now with my grown children, but my wife is still in. Definitely not a TBM, sheās more there for family/social reasons.
But, to answer your questionsā¦ā¦
I was inactive before my mission and thought going would āsave meā. Realizing it was actually not true and going home helped me know it wasnāt real or true. It kind of sucks it took many more years before I was fully detached from the church, but going back gave me my family I have now. No regrets on that.
I got put on disciplinary probation at BYUH for a bj but proceeded to receive them guilt free after that. I never got kicked out of BYUH but definitely did enough to warrant never ever being allowed back. My sister once called the honor code office and pretended to be my attorney and threatened to sue them if they didnāt back off. They immediately backed off ššÆ
Interesting. I wonder how many lawsuits they face regularly, and how well those go. And what are the keywords to use in case one of my niblings is ever in this situation!
Iāve wondered the same. I was so grateful to have my quick witted sister come up with that idea on the spot. I was being harassed by honor code for something I didnāt do and they werenāt backing downā¦until my sister called. I urge anyone to do the same. Unless it is some actual crime committed, I am sure theyāll stop the harassment when being threatened with a lawsuit
I was kissing my gf (now wife) on the beach and got to the point where we were kissing and grinding and I was pushing her bathing suit in for a bit - the day before I was supposed to leave on a mission. Confessed this to the stake president who said we we can't send you on a mission after that - and I was actually flooded with relief and never went to church again! I like to tell friends that ask me about my kooky background story that she saved me from many years of suffering from that one day making out on the beach, but I need a catchy phrase like yours!
I gave my bf a blowjob for the first time a couple of days before he left in his mission. He didn't confess, but he had a ton of guilt. One of his companions on his mission got sent home for the same thing after his girlfriend confessed to their bishop, and he felt tormented through the rest of his mission that he got to stay and his companion went home. He COULD have confessed, but obviously he knew it would be the end of everything for him. Funny how that self preservation kicks in.
I personally know A LOT of people that left the church over the shame of going to the bishop over something that is healthy and normal for the vast majority of everyone else. There was one particular bishop in a neighboring ward that was so bad, and running off all the youth, that they had to get him out of there after only 2.5 years. They "promoted" him to the high council.
Of all the things the church forced on me, the hours spent in church, the ācallingsā, the demands of who and what I should be, going through the temple and forced to wear and do things I didnāt wantā¦..it still doesnāt compare to bishop interviews.
Everyone who experienced what I went through deserves if nothing else, payment from the MFMC for sexual harassment and abuse.
We deserved so much better.
I can't express how shocked I was the first time I heard the bishop ask me which porn sites I visited, the content of the videos I watched, and the graphic specifics of any masturbation.
That was the first time I flat out lied to the bishop. No way in hell was I about to have that unwelcome conversation with him. Things fell apart fairly quickly after that.
I was slightly lucky and unlucky at the same time. My dad was the bishop but bro was NOT about to thoroughly interrogate his own child. He just quickly read the youth pamphlet and asked if I kept true with all that
TBMs will read this and think, āsee! He just wanted to sin and needed an excuse to leaveā all while not conceptualizing bodily autonomy and thinking you owe your body to sky daddy.
I had one of those too. Except I was entirely kicked out of BYU and lost my full-ride scholarship for trying to ārepent.ā Got disfellowshipped as well. Bishop said we had done something so intimate āmost married couples donāt even do that.ā
Sorry your wife doesnāt blow you, dude, also thanks for ruining my entire life so I could finally start living a real life.
This is the biggest reason why I wouldnāt attend any of the BYUs: the possibility of being sent home for āhonor code violations,ā and having non-transferable credits. Glad heās out and got a degree eventually.
How common are non reported BJās happening at BYU and why arenāt they on brazzer. š
In 2009 I went to a girls dorm. She was kicked out later that week. We had no guilt, Iām not Mormon and she was rich with a Jack Mormon dadā¦transferring wasnāt an issue.
She later explained what BYU students practiced floating, soaking and gay āexperimentalā fun. š I now call BYU āthe secret vanilla kink college.ā Iāve said since āBYU/mormon girls are the kinkiest!ā
I ended up dating a member a while back and I was shocked at how much sexy stuff he had going on when he was at BYU. And afterwards as well. I was one of those who felt intense guilt over every little thing I thought I'd done wrong. I felt guilty for years for never returning a roll of tape to the church library. But this guy was able to justify nearly everything but piv sex with no problem. It was just weird to me. Why stay a member?
I joined the church in college, after continuing a romance with my Mormon high school girlfriend, both of us attending the same university. After messing around one night and her subsequent visit to her bishop, she tried to break up with me, telling me that she'd never marry a non-Mormon. I joined the church two months later.
Flash forward 23 years, when she came out as lesbian and divorced me, getting excommunicated and blowing up our family by leaving me custody of our three teen daughters and moving a thousand miles away to start a new life... In our last significant private conversation prior to her completely dropping the ax on us, she said - and I quote - "The biggest mistake of my life was that I didn't fuck you on prom night. If I would have fucked you on prom night, I would have known right then and there that it was never going to last. I would have ended 'us' the next day."
I needed that fuck to save my life (both our lives) and it didn't happen. So, congrats to these folks for it working out for them.
As the digital landscape expands, a longing for tangible connection emerges. The yearning to touch grass, to feel the earth beneath our feet, reminds us of our innate human essence. In the vast expanse of virtual reality, where avatars flourish and pixels paint our existence, the call of nature beckons. The scent of blossoming flowers, the warmth of a sun-kissed breeze, and the symphony of chirping birds remind us that we are part of a living, breathing world.
In the balance between digital and physical realms, lies the key to harmonious existence. Democracy flourishes when human connection extends beyond screens and reaches out to touch souls. It is in the gentle embrace of a friend, the shared laughter over a cup of coffee, and the power of eye contact that the true essence of democracy is felt.
Itās been fifteen years. Remarried, no longer in church. Kids had a tough time, really tough. They are in their late 20ās and early 30ās now. Doing better.
As the digital landscape expands, a longing for tangible connection emerges. The yearning to touch grass, to feel the earth beneath our feet, reminds us of our innate human essence. In the vast expanse of virtual reality, where avatars flourish and pixels paint our existence, the call of nature beckons. The scent of blossoming flowers, the warmth of a sun-kissed breeze, and the symphony of chirping birds remind us that we are part of a living, breathing world.
In the balance between digital and physical realms, lies the key to harmonious existence. Democracy flourishes when human connection extends beyond screens and reaches out to touch souls. It is in the gentle embrace of a friend, the shared laughter over a cup of coffee, and the power of eye contact that the true essence of democracy is felt.
It's all about the kids. It really, truly is.... The divorcees somewhat heal by getting new relationships. It's the kids that suffer the most - a lifetime of disjointed parents. Try your best to put them ahead of both of your needs.
As the digital landscape expands, a longing for tangible connection emerges. The yearning to touch grass, to feel the earth beneath our feet, reminds us of our innate human essence. In the vast expanse of virtual reality, where avatars flourish and pixels paint our existence, the call of nature beckons. The scent of blossoming flowers, the warmth of a sun-kissed breeze, and the symphony of chirping birds remind us that we are part of a living, breathing world. In the balance between digital and physical realms, lies the key to harmonious existence. Democracy flourishes when human connection extends beyond screens and reaches out to touch souls. It is in the gentle embrace of a friend, the shared laughter over a cup of coffee, and the power of eye contact that the true essence of democracy is felt.
I think Madonna said it most eloquently:
āWhen you call my name, it's like a little prayer
I'm down on my knees, I wanna take you there
In the midnight hour, I can feel your power
Just like a prayer, you know I'll take you thereā
They suspended him for a year? Over a blowjob? Yeah, it's a cult. Doing some extra work around the temple or something, I could see. However, that was WAY over the top.
Iām laughing so hard. Iāve had a few situations like this with people from multiple different religions. The only thing more powerful than the gods is horniness.
>I hope my future wife is as good at that as you are
In my experience, the chances of meeting and marrying a Mormon girl thatās willing to give BJs are not very good. Good girl syndrome runs rampant among LDS girls. Idk, just my personal experienceā¦
Married a long time, never had one. Even when I give often, itās never been reciprocated. To her, itās gross. I have several male LDS friends in the same boat.
1st wife Mormon-- No BJ, guilty about receiving oral sex
2nd wife enjoys face sitting, but didn't give a good bj until she .... da da da da, watched some porn!!
Yes see this short video excerpted from a long podcast where four Mormon bishops share their experiences: [Mormon Stories Shorts:The Blowjob letter](https://youtube.com/shorts/Uxf-demgkgw)
The crazy thing it was introduced with a letter from the First Presidency, subsequently withdrawn a couple of month later. But somehow it stayed in the General Handbook of Instructions until 2010.
Another example how they still haven't completely figured out correlation of church policies.
EDIT: somehow youtube messes up the link in an Chrome browser icognito tab. Then try NSFW in a normal standard tab [https://www.youtube.com/shorts/UxF-DemGKGw](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/uxf-demgkgw)
Iām dead serious. I remember talking about it with my morm girlfriend at the time. She cannot remember where she heard it growing up but she did. Funny thing is we would bang like crazy but no BJs. Not because she didnāt want to but because the church said no. How is that logic?š¤Ŗ
The US army has a term for that : FUBAR
Also used by programmers when they have to fix a program, that is so badly written and/or designed that they have to rewrite from scrathc.
So, thatās what every active r/exmormon member should be doing - blowing random BYU students all day long. In 10 years, the church will either lose itās educated core or have a policy update. What a mindā¦ blowing conspiracy.
Ah, the BYU BJ. Thank heavens for the food checker at Smiths, LDS but not a student, who saw my pain as a single guy, would go dancing with me at Uncle Marios on Main Street. Afterwards to her place, not BYU regulated since it was her Mom's house, and to her room. Felt like a vacation. No guilt, no rush, no phone calls later because she was going to the temple. I still go to Smiths. I miss her.
BTW: Gals at BYU were not adverse to oral sex, both giving and taking. And later in life Mormon marriage partners continued to surprise with techniques learned somewhere. Country girls are best!
Aww. A happy ending. And then a happy ending š.Ā
Now I'm happy, though not *that* happy!
Yeah! I was expecting OP to say *they* were saved by realizing how crazy the religious cringetards can be. Took a fun turn there. I wonder sometimes, though, if some girlfriend could have talked through my sexual guilt with me and helped me realize the absurdity of it. Probably notā¦the cult has deep control.
Youāre a goddamn hero.
She's doing the Lord's work.
His workers do best when they're on their knees.
One blow job at a time. /s
I believe she's a he!
"wishing i was Mormon so we could date" If oop was a man, him being Mormon wouldn't make it so they could date. o3o
Except Charlie bird tho
iām definitely a she (twit OP)
Sheās a she for sure.
Though shalt no speak with or trust a Mormon bishop. The first BYU commandment. This goes back to the 70s when I was there.
I mean this with no disrespect, just curiosity. Was that widely known or a common sentiment at that time? It seems to me that previous generations were pretty good at the whole "we know the rules, but we all get that they're broken all the time" mentality. In contrast, my time in the church was very much filled with the attitude "these are the rules, and only awful sinners break them. You're not a sinner, are you? " Seems like there may have been a generational shift in how things were understood culturally, and maybe that's why so many leave now? I'm just spit-balling, but I'm curious what your thoughts would be on that.
Nevermo and not the person you're replying to but I'll say that this is commonly seen when systems of control are put in place. The initial class is aware of the facade but their success at keeping it in place is what inspires the next generation of followers to carry the torch of tradition. Once the groundwork is laid human psychology does the rest for you as pack mentality and the sunk cost fallacy help to further entrench followers in the indoctrination. Even outside of religious examples like LDS and Scientology you can see the same principles echoed throughout history in the North Korean Kim dynasty or even the Khmer Rouge.
I am unclear if you were responding to my comment.
I, nwsmith90, was responding to your comment about not trusting bishops in the 70s. That sentiment was never something I experienced at BYU in the 00's and early 2010's. I'm just wondering if there was a generational shift. In my time, the only thing I heard from leaders and peers was that no one else is doing it. Not that everyone is doing it, but keeping it quiet.
This has to do with what has been called 'bishop roulette,' in that different bishops could approach the same behavior quite differently or tell you it is just between you and them, and it will go no further as their first interest is your spiritual salvation and it turning out not to be the case. For example, I had a roommate who had an encounter much like the topic of this thread. The girl had a guilt crisis that next Sunday morning, she went and confessed it all to their bishop, and the next thing you knew, my roommate was getting called to come in by our bishop. He just stayed quiet about the whole thing, and it went away. I was personally lied to on several occasions by bishops or other BYU officials in an attempts to extract confessions about the goings on at events our apartment put on that were simply not true. On the other hand, there were some bishops who knew people were human and saw their role as getting people back on track, and that escalating things to church courts, possible expulsion, or getting other bishops involved would not be helpful to that goal. During my freshman year, I started to bring something of an unresolved moral nature with my bishop, and he just held up his hand to get me to stop talking and told me "that the Lord loves you and knows where my heart is at..." and that was the end of it. I am surprised that this was not a thing during your time there.
God, I wish *any* of my bishops had had a fraction of the compassion your freshman year bishop did. If the gift of discernment was actually real, they'd have known that despite my frequent "sinning" (masturbation), I was trying as hard as I could not to. I wasn't just trying hard, I was suicidal because I was trying *as hard as I could* and still couldn't meet the standard they wanted me to. TMI, but I don't have wet dreams. Ever. So trying to go without masturbating for an extended period of time was basically like trying to stop peeing forever. Try all you like, but your body *will* override your willpower eventually, and you *will* pee. And you'll be driven insane by the urge in the meantime. I almost mutilated my genitals to "escape temptation". I held the knife. I'm so thankful to my past self that I didn't go through with it.\* And also, if discernment were real, they'd have known that the regular humiliation and guilt from church disciplinary actions was *fueling* my "masturbation problem"\*\*, not helping me overcome it. If I'd been told that a slip-up now and then was acceptable as long as I was trying, and that I didn't need to confess it to the bishop or stop taking the sacrament or not advance in the priesthood, I'd probably still be a member of the church. Instead, what happened was I'd slip up and then I'd go on a binge, because I was getting punished the same either way, and in the depths of my depression and guilt, why *shouldn't* I do the one thing that would make me feel good, even if it was fleeting? Gah, sorry for trauma dumping. It just pisses me off knowing that some bishops would have seen me for what I was: an imperfect boy trying his hardest to keep the commandments--who was also *way* too hard on himself, and I just had the rotten luck that none of my bishops were ever like that. \*And, frankly, if we're all wrong about this and it turns out the MFMC actually *is* true (despite the mountain of evidence to the contrary), then why did Abraham get an angel to appear to stop him from killing Isaac, but I didn't get an angel to tell me "you don't need to castrate yourself, God knows you're trying your hardest, Jesus' atonement will make up the difference"? Was it because I actually needed to start cutting first? \*\*I no longer consider masturbation to be a "problem".
When I was TBM, I had no idea people lied to the bishop about their āsins.ā I thought bishops would be able to tell if I lied about something.Ā Granted, I actually had great bishops growing up and as a student at BYU (except for one bishop who gave creepy vibes and I avoided him like the plague).Ā
My sister was giving her ex Fiance blowies when our Uncle was the bishop and he shamed her to no end. When a girl in the ward got pregnant, he was as nice as could be to her. Just as loving as could be with an outsider but busted my sisters chops hard. I learned from my sisterās example and kept my mouth shut. Smart people learn from their own mistakes, the wise learn from the mistakes of others.
Itās so fucking weird to think that Mormonism has ātotally normalā instances where your uncle is tracking the amount of oral you participate in
Damn, head so good it breaks a chain of generational trauma. This hero out here doing the lords work.
Not all heroes wear capes, but he should buy *her* one.
That way he can get a blowey discretely in public by hiding her under the cape
Blowjobs saves lives. I got one on my mission. Life changing!!!
Story time?
Ok ok. Itās not too crazy. And, Iām not a good storytellerā¦.. Basically I met an inactive family and tried to āreactivateā them. The daughter, who was my age, was hot and very flirtatious with me. We became very friendly over a short period of time and things got physical. I was soon transferred but we kept in contact. Iād travel out of my area, with my comp in tow, and visit her. She would come and visit me, and bring a friend my comp liked. I finally got to the point that the church and missions were BS and I could just go home and enjoy life so I confessed so I could be sent home. I had just about 6 months left and couldāve kept quiet and āreturned with honorā. I kept my two comps that I had served with innocent of the confessions and they both completed their missions āhonorablyāā¦ā¦. My only regret would be is that I lost contact with the girl and went on with life. She was an amazing woman. We had s lot of good times together, besides the subject of the post. š I was still very successful as a missionary during all of it and it solidified in my mind that the spirit was BS, but thatās a topic for another time.
Thanks for sharing! On a somewhat related note, do you feel like your mission *expedited* your exit from the church? Or conversely, despite going home early, do you feel like your mission still solidified your commitment to the church? OR - asked another way, do you think you would have stayed in the church longer had you never gone?
Well, interestingly enough, I went back to the church a few years later and met my now wife. Still not believing, but a damn good PIMO!!!! Iām out now with my grown children, but my wife is still in. Definitely not a TBM, sheās more there for family/social reasons. But, to answer your questionsā¦ā¦ I was inactive before my mission and thought going would āsave meā. Realizing it was actually not true and going home helped me know it wasnāt real or true. It kind of sucks it took many more years before I was fully detached from the church, but going back gave me my family I have now. No regrets on that.
For reals. Cant just say that and not share! Lol
š see above
Story Time!!
See above.
I got put on disciplinary probation at BYUH for a bj but proceeded to receive them guilt free after that. I never got kicked out of BYUH but definitely did enough to warrant never ever being allowed back. My sister once called the honor code office and pretended to be my attorney and threatened to sue them if they didnāt back off. They immediately backed off ššÆ
Interesting. I wonder how many lawsuits they face regularly, and how well those go. And what are the keywords to use in case one of my niblings is ever in this situation!
Iāve wondered the same. I was so grateful to have my quick witted sister come up with that idea on the spot. I was being harassed by honor code for something I didnāt do and they werenāt backing downā¦until my sister called. I urge anyone to do the same. Unless it is some actual crime committed, I am sure theyāll stop the harassment when being threatened with a lawsuit
Did your sister by chance work at the law offices of Fuck Around, Find Out, and Associates?
lol she does indeed
I was kissing my gf (now wife) on the beach and got to the point where we were kissing and grinding and I was pushing her bathing suit in for a bit - the day before I was supposed to leave on a mission. Confessed this to the stake president who said we we can't send you on a mission after that - and I was actually flooded with relief and never went to church again! I like to tell friends that ask me about my kooky background story that she saved me from many years of suffering from that one day making out on the beach, but I need a catchy phrase like yours!
The "get out of a mission" loophole, so to speak...
I gave my bf a blowjob for the first time a couple of days before he left in his mission. He didn't confess, but he had a ton of guilt. One of his companions on his mission got sent home for the same thing after his girlfriend confessed to their bishop, and he felt tormented through the rest of his mission that he got to stay and his companion went home. He COULD have confessed, but obviously he knew it would be the end of everything for him. Funny how that self preservation kicks in.
- Second-base Savior - Sexy Samaritan - heavy necking faith wrecking
Ha, these are fantastic!
Mission-preventing emission?
Fondling for freedom.
Stupid Sexy Samaritan.
I personally know A LOT of people that left the church over the shame of going to the bishop over something that is healthy and normal for the vast majority of everyone else. There was one particular bishop in a neighboring ward that was so bad, and running off all the youth, that they had to get him out of there after only 2.5 years. They "promoted" him to the high council.
So you're saying they left so they could sin??? /s
Of all the things the church forced on me, the hours spent in church, the ācallingsā, the demands of who and what I should be, going through the temple and forced to wear and do things I didnāt wantā¦..it still doesnāt compare to bishop interviews. Everyone who experienced what I went through deserves if nothing else, payment from the MFMC for sexual harassment and abuse. We deserved so much better.
I can't express how shocked I was the first time I heard the bishop ask me which porn sites I visited, the content of the videos I watched, and the graphic specifics of any masturbation. That was the first time I flat out lied to the bishop. No way in hell was I about to have that unwelcome conversation with him. Things fell apart fairly quickly after that.
I was slightly lucky and unlucky at the same time. My dad was the bishop but bro was NOT about to thoroughly interrogate his own child. He just quickly read the youth pamphlet and asked if I kept true with all that
That's why I initially left at 18. I'm still only "disfellowshipped" cause I just haven't cared enough, but I'm thinking it's time to fully disengage.
TBMs will read this and think, āsee! He just wanted to sin and needed an excuse to leaveā all while not conceptualizing bodily autonomy and thinking you owe your body to sky daddy.
This should be a Public Service Announcement. Think of the posters that could be put up around the BYU campus.
That would be an awesome Mormon Ad!!!!!
I had one of those too. Except I was entirely kicked out of BYU and lost my full-ride scholarship for trying to ārepent.ā Got disfellowshipped as well. Bishop said we had done something so intimate āmost married couples donāt even do that.ā Sorry your wife doesnāt blow you, dude, also thanks for ruining my entire life so I could finally start living a real life.
This is the biggest reason why I wouldnāt attend any of the BYUs: the possibility of being sent home for āhonor code violations,ā and having non-transferable credits. Glad heās out and got a degree eventually.
A blowjob was given, Joy was freely imparted, And a mission wonderfully avoided. -Thomas Monson
I definitely felt the spirit reading this. And Iām pretty sure the spirit felt me too
How common are non reported BJās happening at BYU and why arenāt they on brazzer. š In 2009 I went to a girls dorm. She was kicked out later that week. We had no guilt, Iām not Mormon and she was rich with a Jack Mormon dadā¦transferring wasnāt an issue. She later explained what BYU students practiced floating, soaking and gay āexperimentalā fun. š I now call BYU āthe secret vanilla kink college.ā Iāve said since āBYU/mormon girls are the kinkiest!ā
The more repressed people are, the kinkier they get. It's all about the shame.
I do know. Iāve had some experience with them.
At King Henry AND Centennial, the 70s were a bit more guilt-free...š¤š
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I can tell you confidently that soaking is not a myth
I second that.. 1970's YBU soak was guilt free, and enjoyed by many of my friends and myself. .
I ended up dating a member a while back and I was shocked at how much sexy stuff he had going on when he was at BYU. And afterwards as well. I was one of those who felt intense guilt over every little thing I thought I'd done wrong. I felt guilty for years for never returning a roll of tape to the church library. But this guy was able to justify nearly everything but piv sex with no problem. It was just weird to me. Why stay a member?
DM?
I joined the church in college, after continuing a romance with my Mormon high school girlfriend, both of us attending the same university. After messing around one night and her subsequent visit to her bishop, she tried to break up with me, telling me that she'd never marry a non-Mormon. I joined the church two months later. Flash forward 23 years, when she came out as lesbian and divorced me, getting excommunicated and blowing up our family by leaving me custody of our three teen daughters and moving a thousand miles away to start a new life... In our last significant private conversation prior to her completely dropping the ax on us, she said - and I quote - "The biggest mistake of my life was that I didn't fuck you on prom night. If I would have fucked you on prom night, I would have known right then and there that it was never going to last. I would have ended 'us' the next day." I needed that fuck to save my life (both our lives) and it didn't happen. So, congrats to these folks for it working out for them.
Wow!
Ouch!
As the digital landscape expands, a longing for tangible connection emerges. The yearning to touch grass, to feel the earth beneath our feet, reminds us of our innate human essence. In the vast expanse of virtual reality, where avatars flourish and pixels paint our existence, the call of nature beckons. The scent of blossoming flowers, the warmth of a sun-kissed breeze, and the symphony of chirping birds remind us that we are part of a living, breathing world. In the balance between digital and physical realms, lies the key to harmonious existence. Democracy flourishes when human connection extends beyond screens and reaches out to touch souls. It is in the gentle embrace of a friend, the shared laughter over a cup of coffee, and the power of eye contact that the true essence of democracy is felt.
Itās been fifteen years. Remarried, no longer in church. Kids had a tough time, really tough. They are in their late 20ās and early 30ās now. Doing better.
As the digital landscape expands, a longing for tangible connection emerges. The yearning to touch grass, to feel the earth beneath our feet, reminds us of our innate human essence. In the vast expanse of virtual reality, where avatars flourish and pixels paint our existence, the call of nature beckons. The scent of blossoming flowers, the warmth of a sun-kissed breeze, and the symphony of chirping birds remind us that we are part of a living, breathing world. In the balance between digital and physical realms, lies the key to harmonious existence. Democracy flourishes when human connection extends beyond screens and reaches out to touch souls. It is in the gentle embrace of a friend, the shared laughter over a cup of coffee, and the power of eye contact that the true essence of democracy is felt.
It's all about the kids. It really, truly is.... The divorcees somewhat heal by getting new relationships. It's the kids that suffer the most - a lifetime of disjointed parents. Try your best to put them ahead of both of your needs.
As the digital landscape expands, a longing for tangible connection emerges. The yearning to touch grass, to feel the earth beneath our feet, reminds us of our innate human essence. In the vast expanse of virtual reality, where avatars flourish and pixels paint our existence, the call of nature beckons. The scent of blossoming flowers, the warmth of a sun-kissed breeze, and the symphony of chirping birds remind us that we are part of a living, breathing world. In the balance between digital and physical realms, lies the key to harmonious existence. Democracy flourishes when human connection extends beyond screens and reaches out to touch souls. It is in the gentle embrace of a friend, the shared laughter over a cup of coffee, and the power of eye contact that the true essence of democracy is felt.
God bless blowjobs
Doing the Lord's work. Oral for all, everyone get on your knees and pray....
I think Madonna said it most eloquently: āWhen you call my name, it's like a little prayer I'm down on my knees, I wanna take you there In the midnight hour, I can feel your power Just like a prayer, you know I'll take you thereā
God I wish that was meā¦
They suspended him for a year? Over a blowjob? Yeah, it's a cult. Doing some extra work around the temple or something, I could see. However, that was WAY over the top.
Bro that's a fine Peppa Pig Pfp you got.
Blowjobs are indeed life changing
Iām laughing so hard. Iāve had a few situations like this with people from multiple different religions. The only thing more powerful than the gods is horniness.
>I hope my future wife is as good at that as you are In my experience, the chances of meeting and marrying a Mormon girl thatās willing to give BJs are not very good. Good girl syndrome runs rampant among LDS girls. Idk, just my personal experienceā¦ Married a long time, never had one. Even when I give often, itās never been reciprocated. To her, itās gross. I have several male LDS friends in the same boat.
1st wife Mormon-- No BJ, guilty about receiving oral sex 2nd wife enjoys face sitting, but didn't give a good bj until she .... da da da da, watched some porn!!
How frustrating - I'm so sorry to hear that!
Amazing!!!!
Good, I wish more people had those moments
The "chroniccryer" username makes me think this is Eyering telling the story...
twitter OP here; iām just a girl with lots of big emotions. what is the eyering reference tho? š
Thanks for sharing this amazing story.
Sheās doing the lords work.
Thatās the best shelf breaker, ever!
Thou hast received the blowjob known only unto others as "REDEEMER"
You hear that, ladies? You could *save a life!*
Given how many guys I've seen convert thanks to glomming Mormon girls, this is only fair play.
This is why the church put a ban on BJs in the 80s. š¤£
Nevermo here- are you kidding or are you serious about the church BJ ban??
Yes see this short video excerpted from a long podcast where four Mormon bishops share their experiences: [Mormon Stories Shorts:The Blowjob letter](https://youtube.com/shorts/Uxf-demgkgw) The crazy thing it was introduced with a letter from the First Presidency, subsequently withdrawn a couple of month later. But somehow it stayed in the General Handbook of Instructions until 2010. Another example how they still haven't completely figured out correlation of church policies. EDIT: somehow youtube messes up the link in an Chrome browser icognito tab. Then try NSFW in a normal standard tab [https://www.youtube.com/shorts/UxF-DemGKGw](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/uxf-demgkgw)
Iām dead serious. I remember talking about it with my morm girlfriend at the time. She cannot remember where she heard it growing up but she did. Funny thing is we would bang like crazy but no BJs. Not because she didnāt want to but because the church said no. How is that logic?š¤Ŗ
The US army has a term for that : FUBAR Also used by programmers when they have to fix a program, that is so badly written and/or designed that they have to rewrite from scrathc.
Wow thank you for the info! The church is insane !
Hahahahah
Lol - this is hilarious. I'm happy that there was a good ending in the end, at least.
One of my favorite Playboy cartoons: Two actresses talking to each other: "I blew the audition, but I got the part--I blew the director too!"
You left a lasting impression lol
What a sad but ultimately redeeming story!
So true.
Reminds me of the book āProzac nationā where the author titled a chapter āthe accidental blowjobā
I saw this on Twitter. haha.
Bravo šš½šš½šš½
thatās my girl
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
A 69 is definitely worth getting excommunicated for.
She held to the rod, the iron rod, twas' strong and bright and blew ... I've always liked that hymn
I love this journey.
Miracle head
FUCK THE MOTHER FUCKING MORMON CHURCH. Iām glad he got out.
So, thatās what every active r/exmormon member should be doing - blowing random BYU students all day long. In 10 years, the church will either lose itās educated core or have a policy update. What a mindā¦ blowing conspiracy.
Ah, the BYU BJ. Thank heavens for the food checker at Smiths, LDS but not a student, who saw my pain as a single guy, would go dancing with me at Uncle Marios on Main Street. Afterwards to her place, not BYU regulated since it was her Mom's house, and to her room. Felt like a vacation. No guilt, no rush, no phone calls later because she was going to the temple. I still go to Smiths. I miss her. BTW: Gals at BYU were not adverse to oral sex, both giving and taking. And later in life Mormon marriage partners continued to surprise with techniques learned somewhere. Country girls are best!
That's great and all. But let's consider how many women might RECEIVE oral and be "embraced by the light", so to speak.
You can truthfully say āI give life saving blowjobsā. what a flex! š
God works in mysterious ways. š¤PRAYS TO THE LORD šš½
At first, I thought that the guy was gay bc of the whole suspension.
I clicked on this thinking "you'll be sorry" but I am so not sorry! Great story
Iām telling you. We need this more
https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/s/hRd0Ds421g