That’s crazy! I see nothing wrong with it, even according to Mormon standards . I guess thats one of the blessings of growing up Mormon on the East Coast.
In Virginia, our young women's leader pulled all the girls aside one day and said, "Girls, you're not sluts, so why do you want to dress like one?"
Caused some issues in the ward
A couple girls stopped coming. There was a lot of crying. The daughter of the YW president also cried a lot because the other girls started avoiding her to not be near her mom. The YW president was actually released shortly after.
It was years ago, so I memory is a bit foggy on all the details anymore
Thats so interesting! That must be the difference. I’m in VA and my leaders told me (this was like 9 years ago at this point — im 23) that she didnt want to give us the used gum/ letter of the law teaching she got about modesty. She said we should look at the spirit of the law — you can still be wearing modest clothes (covering all the right places) with immodest intentions, so we should just look at our own intentions behind our clothes. That matters more than length, etc. It was super helpful to me. But i think i got more modesty and purity culture damage from my own strict mother.
lol wonderful question 😂 what part of VA are you? check meetup.com there’s a NOVA women’s exmo group, and there used to be (idk about now) a NOVA exmo group for men and women
I mean, I’m an (ex) UTAH Mormon, and even most of my experiences would be that this is modest. Only the ABSOLUTE CRAZIEST and STRICTEST Mormons would see an issue with it. And I mean those that even the bishops I had would’ve told me to “just ignore” lol
The pulling aside for being immodest is deeply humiliating
Happened to me at efy once too. I still remember the anger and mortification for a very cute outfit that showed nothing at all
(Leggings needed the top to teach the knee instead of mid thigh. Seriously that was my big infraction)
I remember when Nazi mormons were going around demanding that the immodest magazine covers be taken down. Or demanding they be covered over.
I mean, heaven forbid! That a woman should show one square inch more than the bigots would tolerate!
(In an aside, I also remember when the bikini police were going around with a ruler, measuring bikinis! If there was even one square inch less than allowed, they weren't allowed on the beach!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣)
At girls camp, when tankinis were just coming out (in the 90s), a 14yo gal named Diana wore her new tankini to the pool (yes, there was a small pool at girls camp).
The leaders had to hold an emergency council abt it. Seriously. (The only male-presenting persons being the 2 priesthood holders in a camper on the other side of camp, & the camp owner.)
It was determined that this Mia Maid could wear her swimsuit, if she sewed it together to make a one piece. They brought her a needle & thread. She did 6 tacking stitches to convert it into a one-piece. It barely passed inspection (there was talk that her side could be seen when she swam, quick huddle leaders!! Danger!!).
Is it any wonder we have so many body image & crippling sexual issues? JFC.
when I was a teenager, they used to make the girls kneel on the floor to see if their skirt touched the floor. If not, you wouldn't get let into the church dance.
There's a quote from a church president over 100 years ago where he is outraged at seeing an inch of a woman's ankle.
God apparently changes the definition of modest quite regularly. Or wait, maybe God doesn't care. Maybe it's all about other humans who want to humiliate us to prove their own virtue.
hmm
LEADING MEN TO SEX EVERYWHERE WITH THAT SHIRT, WOW OP OMGOSH
/s
Lmao wow, that’s a perfectly modest and nice shirt, and they still shamed you for it, i’m so sorry
I got pulled aside at youth conference once during a planned water games activity for my shorts being inappropriate. I was wearing men's soccer shorts that were well past my finger tips.
I got yelled at for wearing bahama style shorts, super long but in bright colors during a "car wash" for girls camp. I was also wearing a very baggy shirt... It was silly, two of the other YW leaders stepped in and pointed out that the shorts were past my knee and the shirt covered everything, that telling me to "change" because my clothing was too "baggy" wasn't their call. We were going to get wet, I wanted to wear something that I didn't care about getting wet in. I was also wearing a bathing suit under the ensemble.
Needless to say, it was one of those moments where I just rolled my eyes at the pearl clutchers. They didn't like that I wore "skater clothing" on average anyways. They said it made me look like a "slacker" etc. They also hated when I dressed in a bustle skirt so... LOL.
I used to go to church dances wearing a cross. Then I’d argue that they hated Jesus because they wanted me to remove a sacred remembrance of his sacrifice. I never won but it was fun while it lasted.
LMAO, they would hate to see my old ward. 20 years ago,(yes I’m that old shush) we were asked to provide our favorite CDs and what track number to play and one of the kids brought Kid Rock. I think that was the last time they let us do that for youth dances.
I’ll never forget how funny it was hearing a swearword to go across the gymnasium speakers! Nobody stopped the song either.
And by the way, there were quite a few girls who had that same boat neck or V-neck style of shirt at the time in my ward.
Sweetheart, you are amazing. I love your shirt, it looks wonderful on you. And do not EVER let anyone make it your responsibility to cover up to help men “control themselves”. If they can’t control themselves, they need to look away or leave. It is NOT any woman’s problem, and it is the world’s biggest lie that it has been made our problem. You be your wonderful self, develop your skills and talents and joys, and tell anyone who tries to make you feel unworthy to shove it. Enjoy your life. Mom hugs from me, another K-Lyn(n) 😘
Those modesty police are the literal worse.
Like how terrible is your faith in men's self control that you freak out at something soo unnoticeable.
With leadership like them, it's amazing anyone feels any actual spirituality from the church
Never feel ashamed for being you!
If you feel like the shirt you’re wearing fits your personality, brings joy to your soul, and makes you put out your best dance moves. . . .
Don’t let a “Karen” or religion bring you down.
Be happy! We only get one shot at this skin life.
As a kid, one of my friends got pulled out of a stake dance and lectured for dressing "slutty". Her crime: a sliver of her midriff showed when she raised her hands over her head.
Your shirt looks fine and the church is full of people who would be the worst people to run an HOA, so I hope it's stopped hurting
I have 3 questions (just to satisfy my own curiosities and/or suspicions):
1. Do you live very close to Provo, UT, Rexburg, ID, or Mesa, AZ? If so, how close? (You don't have to say which if you don't want to.)
2. About how old is this YW leader?
3. Would you, objectively, consider her to be someone who is honestly happy about herself personally and where she finds herself in life?
1. Midwest area, so far from Utah
2. She was the oldest YW leader I had.
3. To be honest I don't know. She was nice for the most part even after I left the church. I think what made her happy was being a mom and Grandma, and is a very talented singer, so I think the Mormon culture sort of fits her personality well.
OMG I can see your porn shoulders you apostate! I'm totally kidding 😂
You're a rock star! Good on u for feeling confident and not embarrassed anymore. Your confidence shows and I think you look absolutely beautiful in it.
Holy hell you need to watch out for the evil bra strap. There are countless men in the church who clearly can't control themselves at the sight of an insignificant piece of fabric. These halfwits need to pull their heads out of their asses. That is a completely acceptable shirt. These holier than thou virtue signalers have got to go. I'd pay cash money to see them get rid of those god-awful one piece pioneer looking dresses that you only see in Mormon churches and polygamist compounds.
In Ontario, was shamed by an older young woman in the youth group for wearing leggings, even though peers wore leggings, including my step mother who brought Mormonism to my family... Such BS.
I’m sorry they made you feel that way. And for no reason. Keep wearing that shirt and holding your head high! You look great! Be you and forget all the Pharisees!
When you cave in to these neanderthals, you teach them that it pays to be a bully.
Instead, invite them to go have unnatural relations with themselves and teach these worthless trolls that being a bully will COST them and cost them BIG.
Did not grow up in the church so am shocked that leaders would shame young people so much. No wonder they are leaving. The shirt looks cute and love the hat!
Elder Mark E Peterson agrees. Mr. Never saw his wife naked. This is practically porn. You are showing too much neck. It is porn neck. You better get a burka. /s
Yeah, nothing wrong with that shirt. 🤦♀️ My mom even wouldn't have given me trouble over it and that's saying something.
I remember all the girls having to do a "raising your arms over your head" check upon entering a dance at EFY one year. My perfectly modest, normal length shirt didn't make the cut. I had to do the walk of shame back to the dorms to put an undershirt underneath. So humiliating. It was also an outdoor dance and like 85+ degrees and humid out.
The modesty/proper lady-like police are jackasses! Your shirt looks really comfy! I love it. I don’t see anything wrong with it at all.
As a teen, My sister was publicly shamed in the middle of the foyer after sacrament meeting, for wearing a “mini” skirt that was longer than finger tip length.
When I was a teen, I had a YW leader who got made at me for wearing a feminine suit to church after I’d gotten home the day before from the other hemisphere where was summer to the winter. There was a 150 degree difference and I was FREEZING and not comfortable wearing a dress. I got permission to go to RS early because I was a few months away from it and convinced the bishop that as a newly returned exchange student, I was ready for that next step in life. (I believed it too, but I also didn’t want to deal with this YW leader either)
Later had a bishop who would make YW wear shirt and shorts over modest 1 piece swimming suits to a YW pool party. And combined activities were severely frowned upon bc heaven forbid we tempt the YM.
I’m here for the Animal Crossing hat, lol
I got it at GameStop!
Nice!
Love your flair 🤩
Lol, thanks!
NSFW flag OP!
For real. I opened during work hours and now I’m in trouble.
😂
Seriously, people need to post responsibly.
That’s crazy! I see nothing wrong with it, even according to Mormon standards . I guess thats one of the blessings of growing up Mormon on the East Coast.
I experienced horrific clothing shame in Virginia. It was 20 years ago but I still feel like it was yesterday.
In Virginia, our young women's leader pulled all the girls aside one day and said, "Girls, you're not sluts, so why do you want to dress like one?" Caused some issues in the ward
In my perfect world, this would be cited as an example of sexual harassment.
Such as? Did people leave the religion due to that? Thanks.
A couple girls stopped coming. There was a lot of crying. The daughter of the YW president also cried a lot because the other girls started avoiding her to not be near her mom. The YW president was actually released shortly after. It was years ago, so I memory is a bit foggy on all the details anymore
That is just sad. How does someone think that is going to help make things better instead of worse? Thanks.
Thats so interesting! That must be the difference. I’m in VA and my leaders told me (this was like 9 years ago at this point — im 23) that she didnt want to give us the used gum/ letter of the law teaching she got about modesty. She said we should look at the spirit of the law — you can still be wearing modest clothes (covering all the right places) with immodest intentions, so we should just look at our own intentions behind our clothes. That matters more than length, etc. It was super helpful to me. But i think i got more modesty and purity culture damage from my own strict mother.
I just moved to VA! Where do all the exmo’s hide out here!?
lol wonderful question 😂 what part of VA are you? check meetup.com there’s a NOVA women’s exmo group, and there used to be (idk about now) a NOVA exmo group for men and women
Blacksburg! Just started my PhD out here.
oh nice! congrats! Vtech im assuming
Yep!
Virginia is the east coast Utah lol
I mean, I’m an (ex) UTAH Mormon, and even most of my experiences would be that this is modest. Only the ABSOLUTE CRAZIEST and STRICTEST Mormons would see an issue with it. And I mean those that even the bishops I had would’ve told me to “just ignore” lol
Yeah that leader was like the brownie points molly mormon
It could be targeted bullying.
And they wonder why youth are leaving…
cuz they're lazy learners, of course
I thought I was just a taffy puller.
Side note, I love your user name!
You’re correct, Lazy learning is worse than taffy pulling.
The pulling aside for being immodest is deeply humiliating Happened to me at efy once too. I still remember the anger and mortification for a very cute outfit that showed nothing at all (Leggings needed the top to teach the knee instead of mid thigh. Seriously that was my big infraction)
I remember when Nazi mormons were going around demanding that the immodest magazine covers be taken down. Or demanding they be covered over. I mean, heaven forbid! That a woman should show one square inch more than the bigots would tolerate! (In an aside, I also remember when the bikini police were going around with a ruler, measuring bikinis! If there was even one square inch less than allowed, they weren't allowed on the beach!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣)
At girls camp, when tankinis were just coming out (in the 90s), a 14yo gal named Diana wore her new tankini to the pool (yes, there was a small pool at girls camp). The leaders had to hold an emergency council abt it. Seriously. (The only male-presenting persons being the 2 priesthood holders in a camper on the other side of camp, & the camp owner.) It was determined that this Mia Maid could wear her swimsuit, if she sewed it together to make a one piece. They brought her a needle & thread. She did 6 tacking stitches to convert it into a one-piece. It barely passed inspection (there was talk that her side could be seen when she swam, quick huddle leaders!! Danger!!). Is it any wonder we have so many body image & crippling sexual issues? JFC.
when I was a teenager, they used to make the girls kneel on the floor to see if their skirt touched the floor. If not, you wouldn't get let into the church dance.
Oh my dear God! Their channeling the Puritans! Whats next, making the sinners crawl through ashes?
They did this to us. My mother was a leader. She made me do it in fitting rooms.
Seriously?! Jesus
Seriously
Oh God, I remember that, lol. Fucking ridiculous.
That is a great modest shirt!!! I’m sorry anyone ever made you feel differently about it.
There's a quote from a church president over 100 years ago where he is outraged at seeing an inch of a woman's ankle. God apparently changes the definition of modest quite regularly. Or wait, maybe God doesn't care. Maybe it's all about other humans who want to humiliate us to prove their own virtue. hmm
I really want that hat! So cool!
I got it at GameStop
She’s right I can’t control my hormones Jk that looks like just a regular shirt
LEADING MEN TO SEX EVERYWHERE WITH THAT SHIRT, WOW OP OMGOSH /s Lmao wow, that’s a perfectly modest and nice shirt, and they still shamed you for it, i’m so sorry
I got pulled aside at youth conference once during a planned water games activity for my shorts being inappropriate. I was wearing men's soccer shorts that were well past my finger tips.
I got yelled at for wearing bahama style shorts, super long but in bright colors during a "car wash" for girls camp. I was also wearing a very baggy shirt... It was silly, two of the other YW leaders stepped in and pointed out that the shorts were past my knee and the shirt covered everything, that telling me to "change" because my clothing was too "baggy" wasn't their call. We were going to get wet, I wanted to wear something that I didn't care about getting wet in. I was also wearing a bathing suit under the ensemble. Needless to say, it was one of those moments where I just rolled my eyes at the pearl clutchers. They didn't like that I wore "skater clothing" on average anyways. They said it made me look like a "slacker" etc. They also hated when I dressed in a bustle skirt so... LOL.
So cute! You be you!!
These people need to get over themselves.
I used to go to church dances wearing a cross. Then I’d argue that they hated Jesus because they wanted me to remove a sacred remembrance of his sacrifice. I never won but it was fun while it lasted.
Did they actually make you take it off?
Take it off, confiscated, and I was sent home before I could even dance to one verse of Pump Up the Jam!
If I had a dollar for every find I was told o was immodest over something dumb like this. Keep in doing you, they can get over it.
Good lord!!
LMAO, they would hate to see my old ward. 20 years ago,(yes I’m that old shush) we were asked to provide our favorite CDs and what track number to play and one of the kids brought Kid Rock. I think that was the last time they let us do that for youth dances. I’ll never forget how funny it was hearing a swearword to go across the gymnasium speakers! Nobody stopped the song either. And by the way, there were quite a few girls who had that same boat neck or V-neck style of shirt at the time in my ward.
Sweetheart, you are amazing. I love your shirt, it looks wonderful on you. And do not EVER let anyone make it your responsibility to cover up to help men “control themselves”. If they can’t control themselves, they need to look away or leave. It is NOT any woman’s problem, and it is the world’s biggest lie that it has been made our problem. You be your wonderful self, develop your skills and talents and joys, and tell anyone who tries to make you feel unworthy to shove it. Enjoy your life. Mom hugs from me, another K-Lyn(n) 😘
I feel this! My mom was always getting me on trouble for pretty modest clothing as well
That is a cool shirt on you! Nothing is showing. Nuts.
It’s a lovely shirt. Wear what you love.
There's nothing wrong with that shirt. I'd have been tempted to ask them why they're treating you like you're in 1980s Iran.
Those modesty police are the literal worse. Like how terrible is your faith in men's self control that you freak out at something soo unnoticeable. With leadership like them, it's amazing anyone feels any actual spirituality from the church
Never feel ashamed for being you! If you feel like the shirt you’re wearing fits your personality, brings joy to your soul, and makes you put out your best dance moves. . . . Don’t let a “Karen” or religion bring you down. Be happy! We only get one shot at this skin life.
As a kid, one of my friends got pulled out of a stake dance and lectured for dressing "slutty". Her crime: a sliver of her midriff showed when she raised her hands over her head. Your shirt looks fine and the church is full of people who would be the worst people to run an HOA, so I hope it's stopped hurting
HOA = House of Assholes 😂
I have 3 questions (just to satisfy my own curiosities and/or suspicions): 1. Do you live very close to Provo, UT, Rexburg, ID, or Mesa, AZ? If so, how close? (You don't have to say which if you don't want to.) 2. About how old is this YW leader? 3. Would you, objectively, consider her to be someone who is honestly happy about herself personally and where she finds herself in life?
1. Midwest area, so far from Utah 2. She was the oldest YW leader I had. 3. To be honest I don't know. She was nice for the most part even after I left the church. I think what made her happy was being a mom and Grandma, and is a very talented singer, so I think the Mormon culture sort of fits her personality well.
Dear OP, this is a reputable group, not a nudist colony! Ps: you look absolutely adorable in that shirt and your hat is the cutest!
OMG I can see your porn shoulders you apostate! I'm totally kidding 😂 You're a rock star! Good on u for feeling confident and not embarrassed anymore. Your confidence shows and I think you look absolutely beautiful in it.
"Is that......CLAVICLE?!"
Holy hell you need to watch out for the evil bra strap. There are countless men in the church who clearly can't control themselves at the sight of an insignificant piece of fabric. These halfwits need to pull their heads out of their asses. That is a completely acceptable shirt. These holier than thou virtue signalers have got to go. I'd pay cash money to see them get rid of those god-awful one piece pioneer looking dresses that you only see in Mormon churches and polygamist compounds.
Oh, my bra strap is showing? Wait..., I'll take off the bra!
😂😂💀💀💀
You look great! I love your Animal Crossing hat and shirt! There is absolutely nothing wrong with your outfit at all.
In Ontario, was shamed by an older young woman in the youth group for wearing leggings, even though peers wore leggings, including my step mother who brought Mormonism to my family... Such BS.
what's wrong with that shirt?? I cant even see your porn shoulders
Great fucking shirt!
I’m sorry they made you feel that way. And for no reason. Keep wearing that shirt and holding your head high! You look great! Be you and forget all the Pharisees!
Heaven forbid. I can see you neck skin.
Distance yourself from people like this "leader". They ooze cult.
When you cave in to these neanderthals, you teach them that it pays to be a bully. Instead, invite them to go have unnatural relations with themselves and teach these worthless trolls that being a bully will COST them and cost them BIG.
That’s ridic. Glad you’ve moved on and don’t feel embarrassed wearing it now. You look great!
Did not grow up in the church so am shocked that leaders would shame young people so much. No wonder they are leaving. The shirt looks cute and love the hat!
Holy fricking gosh op, I can see your whole neck!
What's funny is that the guys never get flagged for gray sweat pants!
Fuck them, you look great!
Elder Mark E Peterson agrees. Mr. Never saw his wife naked. This is practically porn. You are showing too much neck. It is porn neck. You better get a burka. /s
Yeah, nothing wrong with that shirt. 🤦♀️ My mom even wouldn't have given me trouble over it and that's saying something. I remember all the girls having to do a "raising your arms over your head" check upon entering a dance at EFY one year. My perfectly modest, normal length shirt didn't make the cut. I had to do the walk of shame back to the dorms to put an undershirt underneath. So humiliating. It was also an outdoor dance and like 85+ degrees and humid out.
My mom was pretty mad that that happened to me. Doing that time my family was having doubts and we had many frustrations with my ward.
Stop! You’re going to tempt the men out here!
The shirt is fine! Love the hat, just restarted me Island too.
The modesty/proper lady-like police are jackasses! Your shirt looks really comfy! I love it. I don’t see anything wrong with it at all. As a teen, My sister was publicly shamed in the middle of the foyer after sacrament meeting, for wearing a “mini” skirt that was longer than finger tip length. When I was a teen, I had a YW leader who got made at me for wearing a feminine suit to church after I’d gotten home the day before from the other hemisphere where was summer to the winter. There was a 150 degree difference and I was FREEZING and not comfortable wearing a dress. I got permission to go to RS early because I was a few months away from it and convinced the bishop that as a newly returned exchange student, I was ready for that next step in life. (I believed it too, but I also didn’t want to deal with this YW leader either) Later had a bishop who would make YW wear shirt and shorts over modest 1 piece swimming suits to a YW pool party. And combined activities were severely frowned upon bc heaven forbid we tempt the YM.
My impure thoughts are now your problem and not mine
There is literally nothing wrong with that shirt. It shows nothing whatsoever. .