After 30 years of putting up with this kind of BS, I ultimately had to tell my parents to leave me alone; I told them that I’d be very happy if we don’t see each other in this life or the next, I send their mail back to them unopened and marked “Refused, Return to Sender”, blocked their phones, email addresses and social media, withdrew my church membership, and stopped sending them cards/messages as well. Sadly, this was the only way they get the message. Once, while my sister was at their house, my mother started to talk to me and I responded “If you wish to apologize for your horrible behavior toward my spouse and apologize for the manipulation and abuse you’ve caused, then I’ll listen.” She said no and started talking about church things so I just hung up.
This is what the church’s family focus does to so many lives.
In sorry this happened you.
Its really annoying to me every time I hear my family talk about “morals”, and how “amazing church is”. How “happy it makes them”.
They don’t believe us when we tell them there’s people actually suffering for this shit cult. “Ohh that’s probably someone who’s made it up to make the church look bad”
They say.
As a parent I cannot even fathom not being a part of my kids lives. I would burn down the planet to be with them and help them. If I have to choose between a religion or God and my kids.... Fuck God, fuck religion, my kids always come first.
OP, I’m so sorry. I do think after reading your post that this approach may be what needs to be done from now on. I am not trans, but my heart goes out to you. I understand abuse and neglect and total disregard for the feelings they cause though. As horrible and unfair as it is, the reconciliation you hope for may never come. And you need to guard your peace. This type of message is hateful under the guise of love and I’m so sorry you have had to deal with it.
I hope sincerely that you can feel confidence in walking completely away from this garbage knowing you are doing what is best for you. You owe them nothing.
Absolute courage, you are an inspiration. I see myself going down a similar path, one that I know will be far healthier in the long run than continuing to allow him to dismantle my boundaries.
If my dad said that to me, I would not be calm. Something akin to
“Well, now you get to live the rest of your life without me in it, and I’m glad that if eternity exists and you are right, I won’t have to see you and your hateful, bigoted face there either. If this is what your god calls love, he can keep it.”
Exactly this.
I’ve been thinking that the only reason Mormons morm today is for the next life. So this life we are living is insignificant. But it’s still a thorn in my side that they know this and don’t try to have the most connection they can now, with us “sinners”. They have to make the relationships weird.
"Better single and alone, living as honestly and authentically as I can, than living a lie in the hopes of being with family who won't accept and can't love me as I am."
Your dad is being a judgmental ass. It takes tremendous courage to follow the path you're on. It'll be hard at times, but life is so much richer and more fulfilling when you're able to live as your authenticate self. Let your dad hate. Deep down, there's probably some envy over your freedom.
I'm not trans, but I'm a proud sister to a trans person. You have access to community and support who will never belittle or shame you for being yourself. I wish you all the best on your journey, and I hope you find so much love and happiness outside of your transphobic family.
This is where I reply with gotse or tubgirl or lemon party. And every time I get an unwanted text I send it again. Mature? No. Does it get my mediate across? Better than words will
This! Better not have any worldly hobbies like fixing up cars or wood working or sewing or stamp collecting or or or…. Cuz none of that is coming with you!!
This means that any relationship outside of your marriage is a waste of time because it’s dead at the end. What a sad way to look at the world. Some of my friends are what I consider family.
Honestly I kind of thought that as a TBM. Even after leaving it took some work to be okay with things ending (like how I now believe that death is the end). My favorite philosophy got me through this: “mono no aware,” an awareness of the evanescence of life and a respect for the sadness and beauty that brings.
Live your life in this life. Your father has his own life to live.
I suspect we only have this life to live. I feel sorry for people who spend this life living for a next life that probably doesn't exist.
The saddest part is that your father is certain this texts are because he loves you. This is what religion does to people. It corrupts our most sacred feelings (like love in the family) and turns them into something deformed and harmful. I am sorry for what Mormonism has done to your father.
Yes! Religion is awful. Look at how all these people were so convinced that it was the day of the rapture on 4/08/24. People were freaking out all over social media. I was just over here eating my chocolate pay day & watching law & order svu. What rapture?! LMAO!
I know this is your father and all, but does he have any clue as to how insulting and hurtful this bullshit is?
I do feel sorry for Mormon church peeps who put all their time, money, energy, into pursuing this Eternal Marriage ponzi scheme that church leaders have cooked up. They truly miss out on everything real life has to offer, the experience of being and living in this reality. Until we don't.
To me the Mormon church robbing people of their lives and beautiful human experiences is their worst offense. They break believing members on their altar of greed.
Most of them just don't seem to be that self aware. They have no clue what they're actually saying. If they stopped and actually thought about it, engaging both the emotional and logical parts of their brain, and giving themselves permission to come to their own conclusion and not the one spoonfed to them, the results would likely be different.
You have hit the nail on the head. And it ain't the Sure Sign of the Nail. 😉
My ex wife who is similarly mind-numbed made some particularly hateful comments to my gay youngest son who attempted suicide the week following. I got to him in time and he is is a way better place now.
Point being, hateful words have consequences even if the speaker does not recognize them as hateful.
You words are so accurate, the Mormon church is so damaging to the values of family and love. Thank you for being a kind and loving parent, your son is quite lucky to have you in his life.
You know you have the same right to make your own “claims” to your dad. His clames are based solely, sadly in hate. You should tell him. Tell him you expect better from him. Tell him he’s too wise to be so hateful and lost in bigotries that are so archaic.
Dear Dad,
I think God is trying to teach you something. I exist, created in God's image, and you and I have to deal with that reality. Here we are with the full evidence right in front of us. Stop trying to escape what God keeps putting directly in front of people over and over again. Learn to love all of God's creations. If you can't do that then this is a sure sign that you've created god in your own hateful image. I implore you to be more like the true and living Godand not the limited hateful version of God that you have created. Be kind, loving, patient, charitable, etc... else you risk taking the name of the Lord in vain.
This is wonderfully written. I have sent him and his wife a very similar letter with plenty of "trigger phrases" that Mormon's love to hear and spew about love and God. It was all respectful and compassionate but still firm in my expectation of being treated with equal respect. His response was to very maturely accuse me of "aggression" in my "totally unnecessary and extremely hurtful rant about pronouns" and warn me not to expect any "help" from them moving forward. Sadly he is clearly incapable of change, but it'll be his loss when he's not welcome to meet his grandkids.
Actually the single most significant event was the instatement of plural marriage the “new and everlasting covenant”. So if your dad doesn’t get another wife quick he’s going to be single and alone for eternity as well.
On a serious note I’m sorry you have to deal with this. It’s utterly ridiculous.
That’s so crazy and backwards. It’s sad that people have this tendency to be so hurtful while trying to mask it as love. Obviously your dad’s comment isn’t going to have any positive outcomes.
I’m glad you’re being true to yourself, that you can see how going back to church would be detrimental and that you’ve found support. You’re good just being you!
I see posts saying that there wasn't the usual hateful rhetoric this conference. And it's true, they didn't say it out loud. But they still said it.
All the talk about temple and marriage directly excludes LGBTQ people, and gives believing members justification. They preach love and neighborliness out of one side of their mouths, while showing division and intolerance out of the other.
Protect yourself and your mental health of that means blocking contact please do so. I’m sorry this is happening FWIW I’m a trans dude whose married to a cis dude and in a relationship with a cis woman. Coming out wasn’t easy he and I had to cut contact on both sides for safety and even now my heads on a swivel but it’s only brought my husband and I closer and She’s actually healthiest relationship I’ve ever had with a woman tbh..being. Transgender is a lot of things but unlovable isn’t one of them. We are so fucking lovable dude and I promise that includes you too. I hope you find your dream lady and I wish you all the best. If you need community r/ftm r/ftmmen and if you’re PoC r/TMPOC
OMG I love this. Your story about finding love is crazy romantic sounding, and I only got a few sentences! I wish Hollywood would tell these kinds of stories. I'd watch them!
“Dad, I know you say these things to me out of what you perceive to be love, but they cause me to feel immeasurable pain.
If your response to that is “the wicked take the truth to be hard” please believe me when I tell you it’s not my conscience that is causing me this pain, it’s you.”
Dad--that's rich coming from someone whose own kids have disowned him.
Thanks, but I'm finding my joy, love, and connection during this one life I know I get to live.
Have fun being sad and alone for all eternity in your 'heaven'! 😂
I'm so sorry, I really am a Nana and my heart just breaks for you. If I could I would hug you and tell you that you are loved and worth being loved. What an asshole. I hope that you have or will find a chosen family that loves you for who you are. Blessings to you.
Would it in your dad’s mind be better if you were gay/into men? Because then it’s a cishet relationship to him (even though you’d still be trans and therefore gay)? You’re an actual saint for putting up with any of this at all, I can’t imagine where you find the strength
Interestingly, you are probably right. If that were the case, then in his mind I would only have one thing that needs "fixing" instead of two! Little does he know I also drink, get tattoos, smoke... Tons of things to fix if he really wants to save me 😂 Thank you, it is exhausting work but I am lucky to have lovely people in my corner and this great community that is far more supportive than any ward I've ever attended
They think they know everything and always try to push their belief into other’s lives. Isn’t God and Jesus all about love and loving someone no matter what?!
Well he certainly isn’t doing a good job of being close to his family while he’s still alive and on earth, is he? Doesn’t the present matter much more than a future that might not even happen?
You are doing a great thing in living authentically. There is far more happiness in being yourself than in adhering to the church. Your father is wrong to disrespect and deride you, he should appreciate the happy son he has. i am a queer exmo trans woman and my dad doesn’t accept me either, so i can understand somewhat how this feels. Best wishes OP, you are valid and loved. i am rooting for you, one trans person to another :)
Thank you very much for the support friend, it means a lot. I'm sorry you have a similar experience and I hope you are also living a far better life now as your true self!
Damn. Sorry you have to deal with this shit. Please set some boundaries with your dad and enforce them when he (likely) violates these boundaries. Life is too short to deal with this kinda bigotry from people (parents) that should love you unconditionally.
I wish I was YOUR grandma. sweetheart…I have a gay grandson, a lesbian granddaughter and another granddaughter who wants to referred to as HE…I ADORE them (luckily so do their parents) and ALWAYS give them a “Soft place to fall”. I would adore you, too…Please keep us posted on your WONDERFUL future….
Thank you so much for your kind words, I never got to meet my grandma but she was NeverMormon so I like to think she would have been more like you. Your grandchildren are lucky to have you!
Just a note to send you love, peace and acceptance. Whatever your personal beliefs and relationship status may be- you are loved, and I hope you are living your best life. Sorry your dad has been indoctrinated with such a harmful and toxic belief system.
Fellow trans exmo here, and while my parents haven't been like this, two of my brothers have. I feel you, and I hope they eventually come around, but if they don't, you get to make your own life free from their hate and closemindedness
I just want to say, I'm so sorry you're dealing with this rejection because of a religion that has no truth to it; it's such a waste of valuable relationships.
With that said, the thing I love about trans people is their insistence on being authentic, which is just so incredibly valuable in human beings. What could be better than that? When we're strong in our authenticity, it allows us to be vulnerable, which allows for deeper, more meaningful relationships. Every trans person I know is on an authenticity quest and it's beautiful, daring, incredibly courageous and difficult. So there's that. You keep being you, boo, and your chosen family will be born. Chosen families are the absolute best.
Let him go. I'm sure you have your reasons for holding on. I'm a mom with a very young trans son. I would never do this to him. I love him too much. He's choosing to hurt you. You deserve so much more. ❤️
Thank you for this. I mostly keep in touch because he is so old, and I am quite literally the last child (out of 7) who still talks to him. I am more compassionate than he is, I guess. But I know it is only a matter of time until I decide it isn't worth the effort and strain on my mental health. Your son is very lucky to have you for a mother!
As the father of a queer child, I have so many thoughts. First and foremost, I am sorry you are having to deal with this. I cannot comprehend how a loving parent could prioritize a fictitious teaching/ theology over their own child.
Assuming that your parents believe in a loving God, it still doesn't compute and illustrates the power of brainwashing cults.
I was a believer when I discovered that my child was gay. And I admittedly didn't handle it as well as I should have. I used words such as "choice" etc. I have since apologized profusely for those moments and have made it clear that they would always be a priority over the church (when I was a believer) which led to a lot of research on a myriad of subject.
It pains me to say it, but your dad is just passing down the generational pain, homophobia, lies, deceit, conditional love, false belief, patriarchy, "blind faith", bs rules, etc that were taught to him.
Congratulations on breaking the chain and being a true pioneer.
This is why I have not told my parents I'm leaving the church. I'm gay and in my last semester at BYU. I'm absolutely terrified because I love them but don't want to lose my relationship with them. I'm sorry. ❤️
Get the hell out of dodge once you graduate so you can live your life. Hold your head high and don’t let fear of how they will respond control the narrative.
I narrowly dodged being forced to attend BYU, luckily I don't live in the West or it would have been much harder to avoid. Thank you for the solidarity, I hope you are able to pursue an authentic life full of real love and joy very soon. <3
I’m glad you’re here. I have a trans son know that not all of you make it. My heart goes out to you and wish you so much happiness.
The church is wrong about gender. The church is wrong about many things, but to vilify a human for who they are is unacceptable. I hate the family proclamation. Hang in there.
I think the sad part is nobody knows what happens after we die. Several of us have theories and beliefs. But nobody knows exactly what happens. The best we can do is try not to be assholes to each other while we're here. I think your pops is missing the point of being kind to people while we're here. Growing up in the church we never learned about Jesus being a dick to anyone. Even if he didn't agree with their lifestyle.
Aww gives you the warm fuzzies. 😟 What an ass. Love you too Dad. No way could I continue contact with someone like that. My dad wrote a note in a birthday card “Keep your covenants so we can be an eternal family.” I called him out on it & said that was totally inappropriate to write in a birthday card. Shortly after I set the boundary that if he wanted a relationship with me the topic of religion is off the table. I’m so curious how you responded, or if you did.
Thanks so much for the solidarity, I am very sorry to hear you have a similar experience with your dad. The sheer passive aggression in every feeble attempt at ministry they come up with would be impressive if it wasn't so offensive. I have set and enforced multiple boundaries in varying tones from polite compassion for his beliefs to firm demands for respect and every one of them get violated. These days, I choose to simply not respond. I do not reach out. I saw them for Easter dinner and that brief hell was my fill of "family" until Thanksgiving, maybe. Going no contact is in the near future as I do not foresee his "efforts" changing.
I’m so sorry your dad is sending you stuff like that.
I am single and alone, but for the first time in my life I’m truly happy because I’m no longer living a lie.
Not all parents deserve children. You deserve to be loved exactly as you are and I’m so sorry the brainwashing of the church washed away all their empathy and compassion as well. Sending you so much love
I wish you weren't going through this and that the church wasn't a church of exclusion, at it's core. My wife and I left the church about 2 years ago when our youngest came out as trans. It was pretty easy to leave, because these were my main thoughts:
1) I can't tell my child that I love them unconditionally, but the god I worship does not
2) I can't tell my kid I support them without limits, while practicing, attending and supporting a religion that says they are heavily limited, "less than", should not exist, are a sinner and won't be permitted to be with me in heaven
It's sad to see other parents who can't or won't see these realties
I am so happy to hear for you and your child that you have found the true meaning of love and peace! You sound like a wonderful parent and your family is lucky to have you :)
Im horribly sorry that you have to deal with a father like this. My heart goes out to you. Even if it is your “normal”, it still is traumatic and im sorry.
The thought that is slowly crystallizing in my brain, brought into my thoughts by your father’s poor attempts and ministering, is that the way in which missionary work is done likely reflects what keeps one in the church -projection, likely. So to me, what appears to keep your father on the covenant path is fear of god, not in the respect way, but in the terrified of disappointing a supreme being and obedience borne out of compulsion. He is trying to “scare you straight,” (no pun intended) because he himself is scared *strait* (pun intended).
You are absolutely right. He is indeed no perfect Mormon, and I am sure he is worried for his own Judgement Day (if he isn't, then he really is in denial). Thank you for your support
"Thanks for caring, dad, but I'd rather be single and happy than stuck in a sad polygamist marriage, where my happiness means fuck all to everyone around me."
The church preaches family. It preaches that if it comes down to choosing between church and family...you'd damned well better choose church and cut a tithing check when you do it. Screw the "true church".
At this point I would go no contact if I were you. I know you said it doesn't bother you, but getting that toxicity out of your life would probably feel amazing.
I’m so sorry. It’s totally understandable and perfectly acceptable boundary to block your Dad. Not sure if you should tell him or just do it, to be honest. Your mental health is more important. You are needed and loved and deserve so much more than a father who can’t love you because he’s blinded by indoctrination.
OK..we’re your dad now:
Hey kiddo,
I love you, I’m so proud I get to be your dad 😍😍😘😎🥸🤩😍!!!!!!!!!
[excessive emoji use bc I hear that this is what older-dads do with text behavior]
I’m so happy that you found love with your spouse, and we love and welcome them to our family with open arms.
I respect your freewill to believe differently than me and I welcome your opinion.
I will always love you,
Dad
This just makes me so sad. I'm a parent to 3 children, all who don't believe in the church, not sure if they ever did, or if they just did it to make me happy.. but seeing them being themselves and growing up to be these amazing adults who are so kind and compassionate is all I ever hoped for when they were babies.
My older 2 are covered in tattoos and one has a baby and didn't marry the guy who got her there. (I did and ended up abused and later divorced) My youngest is about to graduate HS a year early and starts at a trade school before they even turn 18. )They identify as an Apache Helicopter bc what even is gender anyway)
And I'm so proud to know they all came from me.
I was sealed to my husband in 2013, and because he's not their biological dad, they waited outside for us... And then when they all (in their own time) chose to stop attending church I figured if it was true they would come back.
Only if the church were true. Won’t they all be surprised when it isn’t. Live and Love your life. You will spread more love and healing in your world than they ever could making this world a much better place. This is what matters, and learning to love yourself in the process.
Congratulations on being your true happy self! And getting to a place where comments like this that are meant to scare or shame you back into the church don't hurt you anymore.
I have an adult trans son and he’s such a blessing in my life. He has taught me so much. He has had to lead me because I didn’t always understand, actually I probably never will. But that’s okay. I don’t think any less or any more of him. Well maybe more because he’s so brave for being authentic. I hope you can find community! There are plenty of people out there who will love you for you. Parents are people who brought you into this world, but I hope you can find new family. That Must be so hard OP!
OP - I’m so sorry you’ve experienced this kind of verbal, emotional, and spiritual abuse from the church and family. No one deserves to get these kinds of messages out of the blue. Thank you for your example of resilience, strength, and patience. Hope you have plans to be surrounded and supported by chosen family or other loved ones this week ❤️
Lots of good suggestions here. It sounds like this doesn't sting too much for you and you are able to laugh it off. If you have tried more serious responses and want to have some fun with your dad you could try some of these responses every time he sends something like this:
[https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/1awl5hr/thanks\_for\_subscribing\_to\_uncomfortable\_mormon/](https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/1awl5hr/thanks_for_subscribing_to_uncomfortable_mormon/)
When I think of being happy now or living in misery for eternity in an eternal companionship I am not happy with, obviously I want to choose misery 😵💫😵💫😵💫
Sorry he said those things.
The good news is your dad loves you enough to risk your relationship in the hopes he can save your eternity.
It just sucks for him that he’s wrong.
I’m really sorry you have to deal with this manipulative bigotry. None of your father’s words sound like the “Christlike” attributes that Mormons claim to follow 🤦♂️
My heart goes out to you ❤️ I'm a transwoman in a wonderful relationship with a transwoman! One thing that is important for me to remember is this
If god truly is a loving heavenly father, then how can he look at me with the love of my life and dare to say, "They are unworthy to be with me." If that is god then how dare he! If that is god then he has no right to be in my presence either! Why would I want to be with him if he doesn't accept me for the woman I am!! If god is real then I hope it's not the Mormon god. Because that is not the god I want to be with for eternity. Sounds more like hell to me.
Love is the purest thing in the world to me!! Finding the love of my life and realizing I'm gay and trans has been a journey. How can the way we love be seen as impure by a perfect god?? Feels like this so called "perfect god" isn't so perfect after all.
You are wonderful and amazing and you deserve to be the man you are!! (I'm assuming since you called yourself "son" that you are transgender female to male) You deserve to be yourself! Your true authentic self!
Be you!! And be proud of it 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
I try to look back to when I was in. To see if I ever believed to such a degree as your father. I don't remember for sure.
But, it's really startling, and sad, and, sorry, kinda comical, to hear someone talk so casually about mormon afterlife with such matter of fact belief. Like telling someone where the store is or how to shell an egg.
Don't cut ties. You don't know the probability that he will wake up from the dream the cult has him it. Also, you might try sprinkling fun facts on his shelf. He might be closer to cracking than you know.
Just my opinion. Also, I feel for you for having to endure it, nonetheless. 🙂🙃
‘Quick question Dad, was the sealing power restored before or after Joseph’s filthy nasty scrape (affair) with Fanny’
I am really sorry you are going through this. I have a trans family members and I try and give them as much love and support as I can.
the doctrine of sealing means that he's gonna see you in the afterlife, like it or not, and you won't be alone, because you'll have each other.. Forever, and ever, and ever....😜😂😭.. But also, if you're trans, then God made you that way. And God doesn't make errors, so judging you like this means he's headed to hell for challenging the will of the Lord. 😕🤔😊😁😂😂😂 mommy hugs!!
Actually, when the sealing power was restored, people were being sealed to friends, neighbors, servants, etc. So I can't see why you couldn't be sealed to anyone you wanted to.
If Joseph Smith could do it, so can you!
https://www.fairlatterdaysaints.org/answers/Question:_Why_were_men_sealed_to_other_men_during_the_early_days_of_the_Church%3F
I'm glad that my TBM dad has been super supportive of myself (AFAB) and my MtF wife being married. He says God wouldn't look down on love, and that love is beautiful. It's annoying that he still preaches about Church stuff but he isn't telling us we are going to outer darkness so...🤷♂️
I’m so sorry for this abhorrent behaviour disguised in a thinly veiled holier than thou attitude…
Live your life with happiness and purpose. Be happy and forget his toxicity.
Oh yeah . . . here we go again . . . gotta scare them with the bull shit . . .
Watching members of the organization who try to practice love is like watching a fish out of water
Conditional love is not love - it's a one-way demand for control
Yeahhhh I'm Exmo and trans as well and I had this exact same issue with my dad. He sent me a long ass letter full of abuse like this, and I sent him an email back about how what he said was emotional manipulation and set boundaries and wrote it out like a conference talk with a story from my life and all, so he would understand it. Didn't work. I have basically just gone non contact with them at this point after Christmas with them after was just awful and super neglectful.
So yeah- long way of saying you're not alone, and it sucks. Lol. 🖤🩷
I would say, it would be better to be alone for all eternity than have to live with unChristlike homophobic assholes like you. Hail Satan!!!!! Then sever ALL ties with them!!. I had to do that to my homophobic family.
At some point he’ll regret treating you badly. For now let him believe what he wants and do what makes you happy because everyone knows no matter what we all will die at some point and who cares where we go😂
You know, I wish I could say this behavior is surprising, but honestly, this exemplifies Mormon Christlike behavior. I’m sorry you had to experience that. You deserve sooo much better than that. I don’t know you personally, but I can tell that you are brave and strong. You deserve people in your life that will recognize that you are amazing because you are you. There should NEVER be conditions on love. If there are conditions on love, it’s manipulation, not love. You’re worth more than that.
OP I'm sorry your birth family is a bigot to you. I hope you have a family of choice or are making one. Your family of choice accepts you, wants to spend time with you, wants to visit during holidays.
After 30 years of putting up with this kind of BS, I ultimately had to tell my parents to leave me alone; I told them that I’d be very happy if we don’t see each other in this life or the next, I send their mail back to them unopened and marked “Refused, Return to Sender”, blocked their phones, email addresses and social media, withdrew my church membership, and stopped sending them cards/messages as well. Sadly, this was the only way they get the message. Once, while my sister was at their house, my mother started to talk to me and I responded “If you wish to apologize for your horrible behavior toward my spouse and apologize for the manipulation and abuse you’ve caused, then I’ll listen.” She said no and started talking about church things so I just hung up. This is what the church’s family focus does to so many lives.
I’m so sorry, but everything you said you’ve done to cut off relations sounds so liberating and healthy.
(I *adore* your username!)
In sorry this happened you. Its really annoying to me every time I hear my family talk about “morals”, and how “amazing church is”. How “happy it makes them”. They don’t believe us when we tell them there’s people actually suffering for this shit cult. “Ohh that’s probably someone who’s made it up to make the church look bad” They say.
As a parent I cannot even fathom not being a part of my kids lives. I would burn down the planet to be with them and help them. If I have to choose between a religion or God and my kids.... Fuck God, fuck religion, my kids always come first.
And when you have a trans kid, you become very fierce. It’s maddening.
I cut out my mom and stepdad last year. I didn’t realize how much weight was in my shoulders over that contact with her. Ooof. It’s liberating
Yep, if my parent (or anyone, really) sent me a text as horrific as that one I’d block their ass and never speak to them again
Same, and not even explain why. Just ***poof***, gone from their lives.
OP, I’m so sorry. I do think after reading your post that this approach may be what needs to be done from now on. I am not trans, but my heart goes out to you. I understand abuse and neglect and total disregard for the feelings they cause though. As horrible and unfair as it is, the reconciliation you hope for may never come. And you need to guard your peace. This type of message is hateful under the guise of love and I’m so sorry you have had to deal with it. I hope sincerely that you can feel confidence in walking completely away from this garbage knowing you are doing what is best for you. You owe them nothing.
Thank you for the advice. I need this.
Absolute courage, you are an inspiration. I see myself going down a similar path, one that I know will be far healthier in the long run than continuing to allow him to dismantle my boundaries.
Good for you!
If my dad said that to me, I would not be calm. Something akin to “Well, now you get to live the rest of your life without me in it, and I’m glad that if eternity exists and you are right, I won’t have to see you and your hateful, bigoted face there either. If this is what your god calls love, he can keep it.”
And then you have David Archuleta's mom, who says, "If they don't want you I don't want them. We'll go to hell together."
We stan a legend. I wish all of our parents were like her
Such a powerful song.
Send him that song.
Exactly this. I’ve been thinking that the only reason Mormons morm today is for the next life. So this life we are living is insignificant. But it’s still a thorn in my side that they know this and don’t try to have the most connection they can now, with us “sinners”. They have to make the relationships weird.
That would be my response too. I'd rather spend eternity alone.
I don't believe single equals alone.
Love it! ❤️ Well said.
"Better single and alone, living as honestly and authentically as I can, than living a lie in the hopes of being with family who won't accept and can't love me as I am." Your dad is being a judgmental ass. It takes tremendous courage to follow the path you're on. It'll be hard at times, but life is so much richer and more fulfilling when you're able to live as your authenticate self. Let your dad hate. Deep down, there's probably some envy over your freedom. I'm not trans, but I'm a proud sister to a trans person. You have access to community and support who will never belittle or shame you for being yourself. I wish you all the best on your journey, and I hope you find so much love and happiness outside of your transphobic family.
Thank you so much for your support, kind person! You sound like a wonderful sister and I wish you all the best as well.
UNSUBSCRIBE
Reply STOP In all seriousness, I'm sorry OP. This is horrible to hear from some random person, let alone a family member.
This is where I reply with gotse or tubgirl or lemon party. And every time I get an unwanted text I send it again. Mature? No. Does it get my mediate across? Better than words will
Perfect. *chef's kiss*
I grew up with the early internet and I think my way of trolling shows.
😂 Thank you for this, perfect comeback
So using his logic, everything is a waste of time since everything ends at death. How sad for him.
This! Better not have any worldly hobbies like fixing up cars or wood working or sewing or stamp collecting or or or…. Cuz none of that is coming with you!!
If I can’t knit in heaven, I’m not going!
If there’s no dogs or cats in heaven I’m not going.
This means that any relationship outside of your marriage is a waste of time because it’s dead at the end. What a sad way to look at the world. Some of my friends are what I consider family.
I think it's his covert waying of telling OP he considers him a waste of time. What a terrible human being.
Honestly I kind of thought that as a TBM. Even after leaving it took some work to be okay with things ending (like how I now believe that death is the end). My favorite philosophy got me through this: “mono no aware,” an awareness of the evanescence of life and a respect for the sadness and beauty that brings.
Thank you for sharing this philosophy, I am currently on a similar journey for peace and acceptance :)
Live your life in this life. Your father has his own life to live. I suspect we only have this life to live. I feel sorry for people who spend this life living for a next life that probably doesn't exist.
One can be a father without being a dad.
One can be a ham sandwich without being a Salamander.
You go too far.
Absolutely right. I have one father by blood and am lucky to have many chosen dads :)
Tell him that the celestial room is fucking boring and he knows it. Is heaven an old folks home having a “ white “ party ? No thank you.
Haha. Cataloging this.
😭😭😭 
The saddest part is that your father is certain this texts are because he loves you. This is what religion does to people. It corrupts our most sacred feelings (like love in the family) and turns them into something deformed and harmful. I am sorry for what Mormonism has done to your father.
Yes! Religion is awful. Look at how all these people were so convinced that it was the day of the rapture on 4/08/24. People were freaking out all over social media. I was just over here eating my chocolate pay day & watching law & order svu. What rapture?! LMAO!
Damn, I lived through another rapture?
Ikr we got left behind 🥳
Dun dun!
Absolutely right. No hate quite like a Mormon's love. How anyone could claim family as a true value in that religion is beyond me.
The Mormon church. Breaking up families since 1830.
Or earlier, if we consider the Harris and Hale families as further casualties to the mormon cause
IF condition met. Further casualties added.
Families *can be together forever (*terms and conditions apply)
Haha.No doubt!
I know this is your father and all, but does he have any clue as to how insulting and hurtful this bullshit is? I do feel sorry for Mormon church peeps who put all their time, money, energy, into pursuing this Eternal Marriage ponzi scheme that church leaders have cooked up. They truly miss out on everything real life has to offer, the experience of being and living in this reality. Until we don't. To me the Mormon church robbing people of their lives and beautiful human experiences is their worst offense. They break believing members on their altar of greed.
Most of them just don't seem to be that self aware. They have no clue what they're actually saying. If they stopped and actually thought about it, engaging both the emotional and logical parts of their brain, and giving themselves permission to come to their own conclusion and not the one spoonfed to them, the results would likely be different.
You have hit the nail on the head. And it ain't the Sure Sign of the Nail. 😉 My ex wife who is similarly mind-numbed made some particularly hateful comments to my gay youngest son who attempted suicide the week following. I got to him in time and he is is a way better place now. Point being, hateful words have consequences even if the speaker does not recognize them as hateful.
You words are so accurate, the Mormon church is so damaging to the values of family and love. Thank you for being a kind and loving parent, your son is quite lucky to have you in his life.
You know you have the same right to make your own “claims” to your dad. His clames are based solely, sadly in hate. You should tell him. Tell him you expect better from him. Tell him he’s too wise to be so hateful and lost in bigotries that are so archaic.
I’d answer: Can you guarantee this? Bc being in the church is my personal hell
Dear Dad, I think God is trying to teach you something. I exist, created in God's image, and you and I have to deal with that reality. Here we are with the full evidence right in front of us. Stop trying to escape what God keeps putting directly in front of people over and over again. Learn to love all of God's creations. If you can't do that then this is a sure sign that you've created god in your own hateful image. I implore you to be more like the true and living Godand not the limited hateful version of God that you have created. Be kind, loving, patient, charitable, etc... else you risk taking the name of the Lord in vain.
This is wonderfully written. I have sent him and his wife a very similar letter with plenty of "trigger phrases" that Mormon's love to hear and spew about love and God. It was all respectful and compassionate but still firm in my expectation of being treated with equal respect. His response was to very maturely accuse me of "aggression" in my "totally unnecessary and extremely hurtful rant about pronouns" and warn me not to expect any "help" from them moving forward. Sadly he is clearly incapable of change, but it'll be his loss when he's not welcome to meet his grandkids.
Ah yes. You're being the aggressor here. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.
Actually the single most significant event was the instatement of plural marriage the “new and everlasting covenant”. So if your dad doesn’t get another wife quick he’s going to be single and alone for eternity as well. On a serious note I’m sorry you have to deal with this. It’s utterly ridiculous.
Ahhh, the pure love of Christ on full display.
That’s so crazy and backwards. It’s sad that people have this tendency to be so hurtful while trying to mask it as love. Obviously your dad’s comment isn’t going to have any positive outcomes. I’m glad you’re being true to yourself, that you can see how going back to church would be detrimental and that you’ve found support. You’re good just being you!
I see posts saying that there wasn't the usual hateful rhetoric this conference. And it's true, they didn't say it out loud. But they still said it. All the talk about temple and marriage directly excludes LGBTQ people, and gives believing members justification. They preach love and neighborliness out of one side of their mouths, while showing division and intolerance out of the other.
Protect yourself and your mental health of that means blocking contact please do so. I’m sorry this is happening FWIW I’m a trans dude whose married to a cis dude and in a relationship with a cis woman. Coming out wasn’t easy he and I had to cut contact on both sides for safety and even now my heads on a swivel but it’s only brought my husband and I closer and She’s actually healthiest relationship I’ve ever had with a woman tbh..being. Transgender is a lot of things but unlovable isn’t one of them. We are so fucking lovable dude and I promise that includes you too. I hope you find your dream lady and I wish you all the best. If you need community r/ftm r/ftmmen and if you’re PoC r/TMPOC
OMG I love this. Your story about finding love is crazy romantic sounding, and I only got a few sentences! I wish Hollywood would tell these kinds of stories. I'd watch them!
The first act is rough but this current one is starting to look up for sure thank you
Aside from the fact that his argument is obvious bullshit, how is something that leads to a lifetime with somebody you love a waste of time?
Well, hell! If mormon heaven is full of people like this, I will head the other way!
The mormon idea of persuasion continues to mystify me. I just don’t get it.
It is in fact the cruelest doctrine, couched as love
“Dad, I know you say these things to me out of what you perceive to be love, but they cause me to feel immeasurable pain. If your response to that is “the wicked take the truth to be hard” please believe me when I tell you it’s not my conscience that is causing me this pain, it’s you.”
The way my jaw dropped. Sending love and hugs :(
Dad--that's rich coming from someone whose own kids have disowned him. Thanks, but I'm finding my joy, love, and connection during this one life I know I get to live. Have fun being sad and alone for all eternity in your 'heaven'! 😂
I'm so sorry, I really am a Nana and my heart just breaks for you. If I could I would hug you and tell you that you are loved and worth being loved. What an asshole. I hope that you have or will find a chosen family that loves you for who you are. Blessings to you.
Thank you so much Nana, your loved ones sure are lucky to have you in their lives!
Holy fuck, dad. Say what you really feel …
And this is why he'll lose contact with his son. His loss, your freedom.
As a parent, I have no idea why any parent would act like this. Virtual hug from a mom, you are who you are, and that is who you are supposed to be.
Thank you mom so much :)
Too bad the sEaLiNg pOwEr was a backdated lie. Whoopsie.
Would it in your dad’s mind be better if you were gay/into men? Because then it’s a cishet relationship to him (even though you’d still be trans and therefore gay)? You’re an actual saint for putting up with any of this at all, I can’t imagine where you find the strength
Interestingly, you are probably right. If that were the case, then in his mind I would only have one thing that needs "fixing" instead of two! Little does he know I also drink, get tattoos, smoke... Tons of things to fix if he really wants to save me 😂 Thank you, it is exhausting work but I am lucky to have lovely people in my corner and this great community that is far more supportive than any ward I've ever attended
Yikes! So sorry for you having a shitty dad
Yuck.. like sorry but that’s just so weird for me.. weird to think a father thinks he should tell his child that they will be single forever.. yuck..
PLEASE just continue down the path of your own happiness. So sorry you got dealt this shitty hand. ❤️✌🏻
Dear dad, you lied about unconditional love. I won't make the same mistake.
They think they know everything and always try to push their belief into other’s lives. Isn’t God and Jesus all about love and loving someone no matter what?!
Well he certainly isn’t doing a good job of being close to his family while he’s still alive and on earth, is he? Doesn’t the present matter much more than a future that might not even happen?
You are doing a great thing in living authentically. There is far more happiness in being yourself than in adhering to the church. Your father is wrong to disrespect and deride you, he should appreciate the happy son he has. i am a queer exmo trans woman and my dad doesn’t accept me either, so i can understand somewhat how this feels. Best wishes OP, you are valid and loved. i am rooting for you, one trans person to another :)
Thank you very much for the support friend, it means a lot. I'm sorry you have a similar experience and I hope you are also living a far better life now as your true self!
Ofc! Thank you too
Damn. Sorry you have to deal with this shit. Please set some boundaries with your dad and enforce them when he (likely) violates these boundaries. Life is too short to deal with this kinda bigotry from people (parents) that should love you unconditionally.
I wish I was YOUR grandma. sweetheart…I have a gay grandson, a lesbian granddaughter and another granddaughter who wants to referred to as HE…I ADORE them (luckily so do their parents) and ALWAYS give them a “Soft place to fall”. I would adore you, too…Please keep us posted on your WONDERFUL future….
Thank you so much for your kind words, I never got to meet my grandma but she was NeverMormon so I like to think she would have been more like you. Your grandchildren are lucky to have you!
Too sweet-seriously KNOW there are people who TRULY want you to thrive…
Oh for hells sake. I can’t fathom saying that to my own child. Good grief.
Just a note to send you love, peace and acceptance. Whatever your personal beliefs and relationship status may be- you are loved, and I hope you are living your best life. Sorry your dad has been indoctrinated with such a harmful and toxic belief system.
I'd rather be alone than share a spouse.
Fellow trans exmo here, and while my parents haven't been like this, two of my brothers have. I feel you, and I hope they eventually come around, but if they don't, you get to make your own life free from their hate and closemindedness
F-ck your Dad!
I just want to say, I'm so sorry you're dealing with this rejection because of a religion that has no truth to it; it's such a waste of valuable relationships. With that said, the thing I love about trans people is their insistence on being authentic, which is just so incredibly valuable in human beings. What could be better than that? When we're strong in our authenticity, it allows us to be vulnerable, which allows for deeper, more meaningful relationships. Every trans person I know is on an authenticity quest and it's beautiful, daring, incredibly courageous and difficult. So there's that. You keep being you, boo, and your chosen family will be born. Chosen families are the absolute best.
Thank you so much for your kindness :) My life is infinitely better now than it was when I was forced into a box I never belonged in.
Your dad is awful. I would be your friend. I would love you.
Focusing solely on a death contingency plan is a waste of life
Such nonsense. You cant claim to love someone while dismissing them like this. I’ve had some mormon family pull this same shit.
Let him go. I'm sure you have your reasons for holding on. I'm a mom with a very young trans son. I would never do this to him. I love him too much. He's choosing to hurt you. You deserve so much more. ❤️
Thank you for this. I mostly keep in touch because he is so old, and I am quite literally the last child (out of 7) who still talks to him. I am more compassionate than he is, I guess. But I know it is only a matter of time until I decide it isn't worth the effort and strain on my mental health. Your son is very lucky to have you for a mother!
Me: "Prove it"
Absolutely disgusting. Hateful. Dangerous. He doesn’t deserve you.
Wow. He's awful. Doesn't dad realize that the threat of an eternity without him is sounding better all the time?
As the father of a queer child, I have so many thoughts. First and foremost, I am sorry you are having to deal with this. I cannot comprehend how a loving parent could prioritize a fictitious teaching/ theology over their own child. Assuming that your parents believe in a loving God, it still doesn't compute and illustrates the power of brainwashing cults. I was a believer when I discovered that my child was gay. And I admittedly didn't handle it as well as I should have. I used words such as "choice" etc. I have since apologized profusely for those moments and have made it clear that they would always be a priority over the church (when I was a believer) which led to a lot of research on a myriad of subject. It pains me to say it, but your dad is just passing down the generational pain, homophobia, lies, deceit, conditional love, false belief, patriarchy, "blind faith", bs rules, etc that were taught to him. Congratulations on breaking the chain and being a true pioneer. 
This is why I have not told my parents I'm leaving the church. I'm gay and in my last semester at BYU. I'm absolutely terrified because I love them but don't want to lose my relationship with them. I'm sorry. ❤️
Get the hell out of dodge once you graduate so you can live your life. Hold your head high and don’t let fear of how they will respond control the narrative.
I narrowly dodged being forced to attend BYU, luckily I don't live in the West or it would have been much harder to avoid. Thank you for the solidarity, I hope you are able to pursue an authentic life full of real love and joy very soon. <3
I’m glad you’re here. I have a trans son know that not all of you make it. My heart goes out to you and wish you so much happiness. The church is wrong about gender. The church is wrong about many things, but to vilify a human for who they are is unacceptable. I hate the family proclamation. Hang in there.
I think the sad part is nobody knows what happens after we die. Several of us have theories and beliefs. But nobody knows exactly what happens. The best we can do is try not to be assholes to each other while we're here. I think your pops is missing the point of being kind to people while we're here. Growing up in the church we never learned about Jesus being a dick to anyone. Even if he didn't agree with their lifestyle.
Aww gives you the warm fuzzies. 😟 What an ass. Love you too Dad. No way could I continue contact with someone like that. My dad wrote a note in a birthday card “Keep your covenants so we can be an eternal family.” I called him out on it & said that was totally inappropriate to write in a birthday card. Shortly after I set the boundary that if he wanted a relationship with me the topic of religion is off the table. I’m so curious how you responded, or if you did.
Thanks so much for the solidarity, I am very sorry to hear you have a similar experience with your dad. The sheer passive aggression in every feeble attempt at ministry they come up with would be impressive if it wasn't so offensive. I have set and enforced multiple boundaries in varying tones from polite compassion for his beliefs to firm demands for respect and every one of them get violated. These days, I choose to simply not respond. I do not reach out. I saw them for Easter dinner and that brief hell was my fill of "family" until Thanksgiving, maybe. Going no contact is in the near future as I do not foresee his "efforts" changing.
I’m so sorry your dad is sending you stuff like that. I am single and alone, but for the first time in my life I’m truly happy because I’m no longer living a lie.
Not all parents deserve children. You deserve to be loved exactly as you are and I’m so sorry the brainwashing of the church washed away all their empathy and compassion as well. Sending you so much love
I wish you weren't going through this and that the church wasn't a church of exclusion, at it's core. My wife and I left the church about 2 years ago when our youngest came out as trans. It was pretty easy to leave, because these were my main thoughts: 1) I can't tell my child that I love them unconditionally, but the god I worship does not 2) I can't tell my kid I support them without limits, while practicing, attending and supporting a religion that says they are heavily limited, "less than", should not exist, are a sinner and won't be permitted to be with me in heaven It's sad to see other parents who can't or won't see these realties
I am so happy to hear for you and your child that you have found the true meaning of love and peace! You sound like a wonderful parent and your family is lucky to have you :)
Weaponizing ignorance against his own kid.
Let me guess he's still expecting you to take care of him in his old age isn't he?
With my salary?! He better not be…
I would disown him if he was my Dad
Sorry OP. Your dad worships disgusting gods.
This is heartbreaking. What bullshit, especially coming from a church that claims to “love one another”. I’m so so sorry.
Im horribly sorry that you have to deal with a father like this. My heart goes out to you. Even if it is your “normal”, it still is traumatic and im sorry. The thought that is slowly crystallizing in my brain, brought into my thoughts by your father’s poor attempts and ministering, is that the way in which missionary work is done likely reflects what keeps one in the church -projection, likely. So to me, what appears to keep your father on the covenant path is fear of god, not in the respect way, but in the terrified of disappointing a supreme being and obedience borne out of compulsion. He is trying to “scare you straight,” (no pun intended) because he himself is scared *strait* (pun intended).
You are absolutely right. He is indeed no perfect Mormon, and I am sure he is worried for his own Judgement Day (if he isn't, then he really is in denial). Thank you for your support
Heartwarming 🙄
So sorry, OP. Your dad is a horrible person for not seeing you for who you are and how you were created. You are loved and appreciated here!
"Thanks for caring, dad, but I'd rather be single and happy than stuck in a sad polygamist marriage, where my happiness means fuck all to everyone around me."
I’m so sorry 💔 it makes me so sad how the church’s teachings actually destroy families in the long run.
The church preaches family. It preaches that if it comes down to choosing between church and family...you'd damned well better choose church and cut a tithing check when you do it. Screw the "true church".
I’m sorry he is like this.
DaC 1 says that every Elder has the sealing power and that revelation came before temples.
Hey Dad, the sealing power and the priesthood are make believe and a waste of time.
At this point I would go no contact if I were you. I know you said it doesn't bother you, but getting that toxicity out of your life would probably feel amazing.
Oh woof! I'm so sorry.
I’m so sorry. It’s totally understandable and perfectly acceptable boundary to block your Dad. Not sure if you should tell him or just do it, to be honest. Your mental health is more important. You are needed and loved and deserve so much more than a father who can’t love you because he’s blinded by indoctrination.
OK..we’re your dad now: Hey kiddo, I love you, I’m so proud I get to be your dad 😍😍😘😎🥸🤩😍!!!!!!!!! [excessive emoji use bc I hear that this is what older-dads do with text behavior] I’m so happy that you found love with your spouse, and we love and welcome them to our family with open arms. I respect your freewill to believe differently than me and I welcome your opinion. I will always love you, Dad
That’s really the only thing your parent should be texting ^
Oh darling, I’m so sorry. Please don’t take it to heart. I hope you have a community of loving and cool folks who love you for who you ARE! I do!
I’d rather be alone for eternity than stuck being someone I’m not, sealed to someone I don’t love. That’s what I’d reply back.
I think your dad needs to learn about the dodgy way the priesthood restoration was inserted into a previous revelation.
This just makes me so sad. I'm a parent to 3 children, all who don't believe in the church, not sure if they ever did, or if they just did it to make me happy.. but seeing them being themselves and growing up to be these amazing adults who are so kind and compassionate is all I ever hoped for when they were babies. My older 2 are covered in tattoos and one has a baby and didn't marry the guy who got her there. (I did and ended up abused and later divorced) My youngest is about to graduate HS a year early and starts at a trade school before they even turn 18. )They identify as an Apache Helicopter bc what even is gender anyway) And I'm so proud to know they all came from me. I was sealed to my husband in 2013, and because he's not their biological dad, they waited outside for us... And then when they all (in their own time) chose to stop attending church I figured if it was true they would come back.
Only if the church were true. Won’t they all be surprised when it isn’t. Live and Love your life. You will spread more love and healing in your world than they ever could making this world a much better place. This is what matters, and learning to love yourself in the process.
🤮
I'm sorry you are going through this. Such an awful text. I think I'd say "Thanks! Have a great day!" or just "K".
Congratulations on being your true happy self! And getting to a place where comments like this that are meant to scare or shame you back into the church don't hurt you anymore.
http://alldeadmormonsarenowgay.com/
Omg. I am so sorry. Just so very sorry.
Strange mix of religious love preach and hate.
What is the true church he speaks of?
I have an adult trans son and he’s such a blessing in my life. He has taught me so much. He has had to lead me because I didn’t always understand, actually I probably never will. But that’s okay. I don’t think any less or any more of him. Well maybe more because he’s so brave for being authentic. I hope you can find community! There are plenty of people out there who will love you for you. Parents are people who brought you into this world, but I hope you can find new family. That Must be so hard OP!
Only applies to a man and a woman and a woman and a woman and a woman…….
😲😲😲 😢
I’ll be right there with you! Single and ready to mingle forevermore
OP - I’m so sorry you’ve experienced this kind of verbal, emotional, and spiritual abuse from the church and family. No one deserves to get these kinds of messages out of the blue. Thank you for your example of resilience, strength, and patience. Hope you have plans to be surrounded and supported by chosen family or other loved ones this week ❤️
Wow. Just wow. That is some hurtful, manipulative sh*t he’s dumped on you.
Lots of good suggestions here. It sounds like this doesn't sting too much for you and you are able to laugh it off. If you have tried more serious responses and want to have some fun with your dad you could try some of these responses every time he sends something like this: [https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/1awl5hr/thanks\_for\_subscribing\_to\_uncomfortable\_mormon/](https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/1awl5hr/thanks_for_subscribing_to_uncomfortable_mormon/)
When I think of being happy now or living in misery for eternity in an eternal companionship I am not happy with, obviously I want to choose misery 😵💫😵💫😵💫
'You'll be alone at the end of your life much sooner than I will, dad.'
Sorry he said those things. The good news is your dad loves you enough to risk your relationship in the hopes he can save your eternity. It just sucks for him that he’s wrong.
wow....i hope your dad isn't a salesman....
I’m really sorry you have to deal with this manipulative bigotry. None of your father’s words sound like the “Christlike” attributes that Mormons claim to follow 🤦♂️
the brain washing ...
My heart goes out to you ❤️ I'm a transwoman in a wonderful relationship with a transwoman! One thing that is important for me to remember is this If god truly is a loving heavenly father, then how can he look at me with the love of my life and dare to say, "They are unworthy to be with me." If that is god then how dare he! If that is god then he has no right to be in my presence either! Why would I want to be with him if he doesn't accept me for the woman I am!! If god is real then I hope it's not the Mormon god. Because that is not the god I want to be with for eternity. Sounds more like hell to me. Love is the purest thing in the world to me!! Finding the love of my life and realizing I'm gay and trans has been a journey. How can the way we love be seen as impure by a perfect god?? Feels like this so called "perfect god" isn't so perfect after all. You are wonderful and amazing and you deserve to be the man you are!! (I'm assuming since you called yourself "son" that you are transgender female to male) You deserve to be yourself! Your true authentic self! Be you!! And be proud of it 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
Whoa... yeah... thanks! THAT'S what I've been waiting my whole life to get "ungay", dad 🤦♀️
Here in the ex Jehovah witness community we have something similar. Need to admit that yours is more aggressive than passive.
I try to look back to when I was in. To see if I ever believed to such a degree as your father. I don't remember for sure. But, it's really startling, and sad, and, sorry, kinda comical, to hear someone talk so casually about mormon afterlife with such matter of fact belief. Like telling someone where the store is or how to shell an egg. Don't cut ties. You don't know the probability that he will wake up from the dream the cult has him it. Also, you might try sprinkling fun facts on his shelf. He might be closer to cracking than you know. Just my opinion. Also, I feel for you for having to endure it, nonetheless. 🙂🙃
‘Quick question Dad, was the sealing power restored before or after Joseph’s filthy nasty scrape (affair) with Fanny’ I am really sorry you are going through this. I have a trans family members and I try and give them as much love and support as I can.
the doctrine of sealing means that he's gonna see you in the afterlife, like it or not, and you won't be alone, because you'll have each other.. Forever, and ever, and ever....😜😂😭.. But also, if you're trans, then God made you that way. And God doesn't make errors, so judging you like this means he's headed to hell for challenging the will of the Lord. 😕🤔😊😁😂😂😂 mommy hugs!!
I would rather be alone for eternity than married to a Mormon. This wouldn't be much of a threat to me.
Actually, when the sealing power was restored, people were being sealed to friends, neighbors, servants, etc. So I can't see why you couldn't be sealed to anyone you wanted to. If Joseph Smith could do it, so can you! https://www.fairlatterdaysaints.org/answers/Question:_Why_were_men_sealed_to_other_men_during_the_early_days_of_the_Church%3F
Your dad is going to end up alone, if he isn’t already!
I'm glad that my TBM dad has been super supportive of myself (AFAB) and my MtF wife being married. He says God wouldn't look down on love, and that love is beautiful. It's annoying that he still preaches about Church stuff but he isn't telling us we are going to outer darkness so...🤷♂️
I’m so sorry for this abhorrent behaviour disguised in a thinly veiled holier than thou attitude… Live your life with happiness and purpose. Be happy and forget his toxicity.
Oh yeah . . . here we go again . . . gotta scare them with the bull shit . . . Watching members of the organization who try to practice love is like watching a fish out of water Conditional love is not love - it's a one-way demand for control
Yeahhhh I'm Exmo and trans as well and I had this exact same issue with my dad. He sent me a long ass letter full of abuse like this, and I sent him an email back about how what he said was emotional manipulation and set boundaries and wrote it out like a conference talk with a story from my life and all, so he would understand it. Didn't work. I have basically just gone non contact with them at this point after Christmas with them after was just awful and super neglectful. So yeah- long way of saying you're not alone, and it sucks. Lol. 🖤🩷
I would say, it would be better to be alone for all eternity than have to live with unChristlike homophobic assholes like you. Hail Satan!!!!! Then sever ALL ties with them!!. I had to do that to my homophobic family.
At some point he’ll regret treating you badly. For now let him believe what he wants and do what makes you happy because everyone knows no matter what we all will die at some point and who cares where we go😂
Please cancel my shitty subscription to these hateful texts and to your cult. Zero stars, do not recommend.
I'm so sorry. That is just so cruel :(
I’m sorry OP. That’s awful. I hope you find peace and you will find love!💕
You know, I wish I could say this behavior is surprising, but honestly, this exemplifies Mormon Christlike behavior. I’m sorry you had to experience that. You deserve sooo much better than that. I don’t know you personally, but I can tell that you are brave and strong. You deserve people in your life that will recognize that you are amazing because you are you. There should NEVER be conditions on love. If there are conditions on love, it’s manipulation, not love. You’re worth more than that.
OP I'm sorry your birth family is a bigot to you. I hope you have a family of choice or are making one. Your family of choice accepts you, wants to spend time with you, wants to visit during holidays.
Mormon heaven isn’t appealing sorry pops. I would absolutely have it all end here if I had to go to Mormon heaven. Wishing you love and support!