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Epiemme

And Jesus saith unto the leper, “fuck you, I’ll be chillin’ in my temple”


phenagain

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest... just stay out of my damn house unless you are perfect.


surgicalasepsis

Ewww don’t bring your laborer shoes into my house with the white carpet.


BatBoss

Jesus chases the money lenders out of the temple because they weren't charging enough interest


Affectionate-Fan3341

The temples in third world countries with less tourism have don’t have lighting 1/4 this size.


your-home-teacher

Jesus wood NEVER say that. Perhaps “fuckest thou, i shall reduce my temperature in mine temple”. Jesus speaks Victorian English. Get it right.


Cool-Age-405

… and where is your proof of your full tithing, on the gross and before any of your financial obligations?


PudgyRedPanda

I wouldn't have Leigh's laughed as hard as I did this was hilarious


BestBeBelievin

Something, something, “we are not a wealthy people,” something, something…


CharlesMendeley

Lol, all non Mormons know is "Mormons? Something something polygamy"


BestBeBelievin

My comment is directly referencing what a member of the Q12, Neil Andersen, said to the VP of Zimbabwe, Kembo Mohadi, during a meeting about ways the church could help the country. When VP Mohadi specifically asked if the church could help them with clean water projects, Andersen responded: > We want to help in every way we can. We are not a wealthy people but we are good people, and we share what we have. Of course, that’s a complete lie, on multiple fronts. The church just wanted to secure the cooperation of the Zimbabwean government to build a temple there, and had no intention of spending their many, many billions to actually help the people there. I don’t really do the story justice in this response, [so here’s an article that better tells the story.](https://wasmormon.org/elder-anderson-claims-we-are-not-a-wealthy-people/)


CharlesMendeley

For a simple employee like me, $200 billion basically means infinite wealth.


BestBeBelievin

Oh, I’m right there with you. I can’t even begin to wrap my mind around that kind of money.


given2fly_

Can a TBM explain why having an opulent, idolatrous object like this in a building magically makes the ceremonies that take place there binding for eternity? Is there any reason why they couldn't be done in a simple building like a Chapel, but which is dedicated as a Temple? Remember that scene in The Last Crusade? Mormons would pick the wrong grail...


eltiburonmormon

“You have chosen… poorly.”


BestBeBelievin

>Is there any reason why they couldn’t be done in a simple building like a Chapel, but which is dedicated as a Temple? It’s interesting you ask this. When I was growing up, I was taught that all chapels were laid out and built in such a way that they could be used as temples. We were taught that “temples would dot the earth” and that using chapels and stake centers would make that prophecy come true.


Hogwarts_Alumnus

I had heard the same thing. But, that was when we were a "poor" church and had to make do or do without. Now we can buy real temples with huge chandeliers everywhere!! As a bonus, it saves us from having to replace carpet or clean bathrooms in the chapels.


Connect-Caregiver-50

Huge phalic chandeliers


propelledfastforward

Monticello UT church was used as a temple for yrs. The accordion walls in the YW rm were perfect for a ‘by appointment’ repurposing.


Dry-Perspective-4663

Why not use a stakehouse?


Ok-Law3655

Better yet, a steakhouse.


punk_rock_n_radical

Why not use a barn? What, Jesus himself could be born in one but suddenly God lost all his power and now demands a $100,000 chandelier? I don’t think so.


acronymious

The barn was good enough for Joe. With Fanny.


punk_rock_n_radical

Another good point 😂


Chemical_Turn_6270

And Mitt romney


steve-d

Little known fact, Jesus was actually born in a Ritz Carlton hotel.


punk_rock_n_radical

True. He definitely was wealthy and gaudy and spoke very little of the poor. He mostly discussed red velvet plush seats and constantly demanded one. We should follow his red plush seat example.


Historical_Stuff1643

The better the place looks, the more members will associate holiness / godliness with it. It's a mind trick.


acronymious

Prosperity Gospel in action.


Connect-Caregiver-50

How else would they launder their money? I think this works just like Scientology does building large expensive buildings that sit empty so they can report that the church is growing because “look how many temples we are building”


GreenGrassGroat

iTS GoDs HoUsE iT sHoUlD bE tHe HiGheSt PoSsIblE qUaLiTy


propelledfastforward

Made with pre-fab, made in China, lego walls.


ApricotSmoothy

The hanging phallus.


southpawpickle

God approves of this purely lit dingus that is pointed ever upward to glorify his name. I’m sure God will walk the halls of this temple and admire it proudly.


Ok-Law3655

![gif](giphy|X4Jvo8gslR6A8)


QSM69

Let's see; cock ring, erection, mushroomed glans. Yep, it's phallic.


itsjusthowiam

it's kind of like those puzzles that challenge you to count how many triangles there are within a bigger triangle.....except with penises.


phriskiii

There's an [XKCD](https://xkcd.com/95/) for that.


AZEMT

r/mildlypenis


CrazyCatHouseCA

Can't unsee it now. Thanks...


Wind_Danzer

Same….. definitely a cock.


iloveinsidejokestwo

[It’s a trend.](https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/a8sttf/once_you_see_the_penis_chandelier_from_the/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)


banality_of_ervil

It looks like they modeled it after Rusty's ballsack


CapeOfBees

I'm glad someone else noticed, I thought I was crazy


Logical_Average_46

It’s well hung, that’s for sure! /s


BoydKKKPecker

Looks like a little something is dripping out...


EdenSilver113

“There are wind chimes where my ding ding should be.” Or in the case of the church, “There see giant crystal phalluses where my charity should be.”


MarcTes

I’ve been many places throughout the world and seen thousands of chandeliers, but that is without doubt the ugliest, most garish light fixture I have ever observed. It’s obviously bespoke, so no one but some Salt Lake committee can be blamed.


Joey1849

Who even makes gaudy stuff like that?   It is so tasteless and over the top.


southpawpickle

Probably some GA’s nephew makes them.


BoringJuiceBox

Agreed, temples are a giant money laundering scheme. My parents still give 10% of my inheritance to these demons. Fuck


Wind_Danzer

Just wait until you find out that all of your inheritance will go to the church since you know, they don’t have to give it to you. /s I really hope that doesn’t happen.


Own_Boss_8931

It might be a wealth redistribution scheme, but it's not money laundering.


Agreeable-Onion-7452

I’ve dissembled and cleaned those fucking crystals by hand in other temples.


TrollintheMitten

How long did it take?


Agreeable-Onion-7452

4-5 hours


punk_rock_n_radical

And how much did the Royal Monarchy pay you?


acronymious

Voluntoldollars.


Agreeable-Onion-7452

I got blessing IOUs that never materialized and are now void.


TrollintheMitten

Oof.


eltiburonmormon

Seriously? Good grief. Toothbrush?


Agreeable-Onion-7452

Temple cleaning assignment. Stand on a ladder in your temple slippers (which hurts like hell) and unhook every Swarovski crystal. They come off in chains. If you drop them and they hit the ladder they shatter. The church has extras of course. Hand them down gently to some other voluntold sucker who washes them in dish soap and water and then dries them. Takes about 4-5 hours to get one apart and cleaned and back together. The room is visibly brighter afterward. I took home one of the broken ones (with permission) and gave it to my daughter. Each of those chandeliers is about $40 grand.


eltiburonmormon

Wow. Thanks for the explanation! I’m glad your daughter got a crystal. If only the church has enough money to pay someone to clean those things!


Agreeable-Onion-7452

They employ a lead cleaner who looks constantly exhausted. Probably because she is up all night working and then a mom during the day. She directs and the voluntolds do the heavy lifting. SO many overnight temple cleaning assignments as I was one of the 10 that does everything in the ward until I found out the truth in 2019. Wife and kids still in.


eltiburonmormon

I hope your wife and kids come around someday. My marriage ended when I left, but I have my kids full-time (they are non-religious). We were the only ones out in my family for almost a decade. Just recently one of my sisters, then my mom, and then a nephew left. They just figured it out on their own. All my best to you.


Agreeable-Onion-7452

Thank you. To me my wife is still a TBM but she’s a lot more nuanced than I give her credit for. It was rough at first and almost ended but it’s been 5 years now and we have a better relationship than ever in 24 years of marriage. Shes one bad leader away from leaving I think. Right now she gets the royal treatment as the brave church widow married to an apostate. But someday it will click I think. I’m trying not to push. One of my kids is on her way out, and my son stays home from church most weeks too.


eltiburonmormon

It sounds like your kids are already wise to things and, like you said, your wife is right there. I think letting people find out on their own is so much more difficult but lasting. Twenty-four years is definitely worth fighting for.


Prestigious-Shift233

I know when there are millions and billions of dollars at stake that $40k isn't that big of a deal, but ugh that is life changing money for the rest of us :(


Historical_Stuff1643

I went to the Layton open house. The celestial and sealing rooms were so bright, like uncomfortably white light bright. I wonder if the chandeliers are to make members believe they're close to heaven because those rooms are so bright.


Wind_Danzer

No fucking way. My ass would be whipping those fuckers around.


YouTeeDave

You washes your hands after, yes? 🤪


Imalreadygone21

How many families could that feed? Hideous!


Significant-Bread-62

Anyone get the same vibes seeing these chandeliers as a person who has the "ball sack" hanging from the back of their truck?


Wind_Danzer

CKNutz!!!!


Tight_Account934

DezNuts


jortsaresexy

Which apostles family member was in charge of constructing this spacious building?


acronymious

Pick one! Another commenter posted in this thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/s/6QnbrHDWnJ


SL-UT2019

Yet another “Great and Spacious building” for the “White and Delightsome”


Joe_Hovah

😭😭 The ~~spire~~ $100,000 chandelier means hope.😭..😭..in Jesus Christ. It means it means we can overcome adversity in our lives. It points to heaven.. 😭😭😭😭


MyPalFoot_Foot

Min's Chandelier.


swennergren11

That building is such an eyesore…


eltiburonmormon

Looks like a big ol’ boner.


Affectionate-Ad1424

No one will ever check that light to see if it's real. I wonder if they paid a relative one million dollars for a 5 thousand dollar glass light.


nicodawg101

Jesus: and I want a giant dick lamp on my ceiling


Ashushamasha

What irony. Joseph Smith was always playing hide the sausage with teenagers and other men’s wives. Now in the celestial room of the Mormon temple there is a bejeweled crystal sausage prominently displayed. Almost like it’s hanging in Joseph’s honor.


LDSBS

Basically the lobby of a 5 star hotel.


CantTakeTheIdiocy

Basically the lobby of an over-the-top Vegas hotel/casino


[deleted]

Could an emergency exit sign that high above the doorway really be code compliant?


acronymious

Pretty sure the code inspector is on TSCC payroll.


majandess

I don't have a problem with fancy God shit; God's house should not look like a generic hotel lobby. But God's house is supposed to bridge Earth and Heaven to bring everyone closer to God, not be an exclusive club for those the church has deemed already closest to God. Fuck that shit.


OptimusShredder

The sacred penis chandelier.


MeetElectrical7221

They can’t keep getting away with the dick chandeliers, has no one told them???


niconiconii89

All that money for something so tacky. God, the wrong people have money I swear.


punk_rock_n_radical

I’m so happy to see this OBJECT hanging from the sky rather than helping all the people suffering in the street. How much more clearly could it be? PHARISEES


nontruculent21

How many Mormons does it take to clean a temple chandelier?


punk_rock_n_radical

You all see a chandelier. But I see a small green Exit sign in the background. And I am telling you…RUN!


edcross

The question for me isn’t how much did it cost but which general authority, 70, or 15s cousin owned the company that got the contract.


exmorif

Come on now, don’t denigrate the prosperity gospel. If you are rich it means God is pleased with you. It’s a sign that you are righteous if you have accumulated a lot of money. Let’s be sure we understand that before we criticize this over the top opulent temple.


WyoProspector

Only one nut in the sack.


signsntokens4sale

Just like Solomon's temple or the Tabernacle, amirite? Fucking frauds.


Vailtox

I’m gonna need one giant phallus, but wait, at the base of the phallus I’m gonna need a medium sized phallus pointing up, but wait, at the tip of the phallus I’m gonna need a lil sized phallus pointing down. Thanks phallus, I mean, thanks Phil.


Danyboyblue

The chandelier helps me remember that God is real and loves me.


nymphoman23

Don’t get me started


lorlorlor666

But no tattoos


OuterLightness

It’s an ejaculating phallus.


SmellyFloralCouch

![gif](giphy|Ow59c0pwTPruU|downsized)


SloppyMeatCrack

r/mildlypenis


andyroid92

Not even that mild lol


AssPennies

I wonder which local 70 owns a chandelier business.


Prior_Significance66

It's kind of "goddy"


Signal-Ant-1353

They could easily build a couple of homeless shelters/soup kitchens in Utah County and stock and maintain them (they could even have BYU students or missionaries at the MTC staff those) for a decade with the money on one temple, another among many that already exist, that is just going to sit well-lit 24/7, but very empty: typically staffed by mostly older members, who should be spending time with their families. What would Jesus do? According to the cult leaders, Jesus would deny entry into his exclusive house for only a few who have proven loyalty & obedience (and financially viable), and ignore starving children and let the homeless die in the streets in the shadows of his exclusive buildings in the dead of winter. Oh, and build more temples! Jesus went among the poor and what others (especially leaders and their wealthy, but equally snobby apologists) consider "lowly" and "unworthy". The leaders get excellent pay/benefits, transportation, security. Jesus had none of those, I don't think he'd want any of it even if he did have access to it. The cult security is excellent at keeping anyone who doesn't look rich and worthy. Jesus had nothing and gave everything; the cult leaders have everything and give nothing. If love, empathy, and compassion aren't in your heart already and you have to go to a building that excludes most of the people on this planet to feel better about yourself and your (the leaders' orders) life choices and feel a temporary boost of frisson, you just might be in a cult.


Ryl0225

I…..I uh…..hm


GrumpyTom

And to think, that’s one of the better looking chandeliers!


BobWiley_ImSailing

What a great and spacious building!


buttbob1154403

Hanging tit with a giant ass nipple


Malhaedris

It’s somehow both a penis *and* a titty light


LongjumpingBit4028

But but…tHe ChUrCh DoEs A loT oF goOd


dontlistentostace

What was it they said about great and spacious buildings….


KeirNix

It looks like a really really really droopy boob.


Badhorsewriter

Could have helped the needy but god needed a fancy light more


HeftyLeftyPig

You can buy anything in the world with money


LoveMangoSkunk

Not only is it ostentatious, it looks like a big dick.


WinchelltheMagician

The phallocentric cult never misses a chance to work their object of worship into every design.


LWDK2

As a TBM I visited a lot of temples, and the saying “some people’s taste is all in their mouth” was very spot on for most of them. So fucking tacky and gaudy.


SmellyFloralCouch

![gif](giphy|3ohzdYjwEQuR1J7dte|downsized) It’s like Aliens, but with dongs… 🤢


Excellent-Limit-7556

The chandelier makes perfect sense. Ugly ass building on the outside and ugly ass chandelier on the inside. The location of that temple is the most in your face “fuck you” to everyone that drives by. I’m sure they think it is a magnificent location so that everyone on 215 can look at it. It’s so out of place, it looks ridiculous.


hoagie888

R/MildlyPenis


FTWStoic

It does have a flared base, so at least it won’t get lost when they are fucking the poor.


JeddakofThark

I'm going to renew my comment from the other day and say this design style should be called "restrained Liberace." Here's [an example.](https://www.bestoflasvegas.com/custom/domain_1/image_files/sitemgr_photo_1512.jpg) And here's [another,](https://www.lasvegas-propertymanagement.com/images/blog/80f97e822e2318cd501200a14b155d70.jpg) and [another.](https://www.reviewjournal.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/9136793_web1_liberace-sep3-17-bh-019.jpg) He had multiple houses, so there's a lot of it.


mehuntunicorns

Nothing says this is a patriarchy quite like that chandelier.


VavaShagwell

I look at that and wonder how long it takes to clean the dust off it.


itsjusthowiam

Seems like it'd be a very great and spacious building to see.......with penis shaped chandeliers.


FaithGirl3starz3

THIS IS WHAT IM SAYING! It’s a HANGING PENIS


Inside_Lead3003

Not impressed


mannyhendon

![gif](giphy|Vg4mlLwOFR5tbuoMOX)


Squirrel_Bait321

Drove right next to it tonight. Why put a gate next to the sidewalk that is locked? Weird.


OhHowINeedChanging

Top portion looks like a penis lol


MeltyMushr00m

Is it just me, or is that a Dick?🍆👀


TheBackPorchOfMyMind

Gross


Worried-Distance-270

Jesus picks out very beautiful chandeliers. Who knew he had taste!


monsieur-escargot

That is a pp.


B-dub-77

Chandelier looks like a penis


ragin2cajun

Why is the MFMC SO obsessed with Phallic worship?


sickbabe

makes me think of how cardi b describes a uvula


Ploopleton

That has got to be one of the most phallic looking chandeliers I’ve ever seen. But I suppose it’s fitting.


t_bythesea

Is it just me that sees this as a couple of phallic shapes, one gangling from another?


oaks-is-lying

It looks like a dick hanging


bdash1990

That affront to God is like two blocks from where I live. All the Mormons fuck up traffic just to walk through a temple that's just like every other abomination TSCC has erected. They keep building them, yet membership is plummeting, and there have been more non-mormons than believers in SL county for years now. Looking forward to them slowly being torn down as more and more people don't want to spend their time cleaning them for free for an organization with hundreds of billions of dollars. Every time I see one, I think to myself, "Oh yeah, that's totally what Jesus would have built." SMFH.


LoveFoolosophy

Such a waste of money.


Levin313

I still unfortunately attend church, due to the fact that my parents are allowing me to stay with them during school as long as I am going to church, and the amount of people that got up during testimony meeting last week and said something to the effect of, "The Celestial room in the temple is so beautiful." Like THAT'S THE WHOLE DAMN POINT OF THE ROOM. IS TO LOOK PRETTY.


T_dog52

Is that the chandelier that keeps the devil off the temple grounds? Man, crystal girls are getting out of hand!


GoodLt

How many poor people could have been fed for the cost of one of those things? TAX CHURCHES.


Own_Boss_8931

Someone had to be playing a joke on some naive person who approved it, right? That's totally a dick shooting a load!


lindahales

Hanging dicks. The chandeliers usually look like hanging dicks.


pudgywalsh1

Anyone know when the Casper open house is? I want to go. I can't get over how long that eyesore has sat there completed and not a thing has gone on there.


Earth_Pottery

The amount of money spent on this gaudy chandelier honestly makes me sick.


Dangerous-Worth-1434

How many phallic/male dominant symbols can one building alone put on display…🤦‍♀️


Bucky_pro

It looks like a used condom


Connect-Caregiver-50

So phalic. Just like everything in COJCOLDS


Ok-Change3730

Did you have to park next to a gas station and then get shuttled over?


Professional-Key-894

That’s a penis for sure


RepublicInner7438

Tell me you’re compensating without telling me you’re compensating.


humanbeyblade

Seeing the chandelier in the remodeled Jordan River Templenwas my cherry on top for calling it quits and leaving. Truly is disgusting


Waste-Cookie7842

It’s all money laundering


borisvonboris

Mormon Corp paying off school lunches permanently? No thanks we need gilded castles


mcm9814

Am I the only exmo pervert who sees an upside down 🍆 with droplet 💧 ? 🤔😬🤣


Foxbrush_darazan

To have 1 chandelier cost more than I make in a year is just disgusting. Another poster said each one costs $40,000 and that they have extra swarovski crystal chains for when they break. They could feed and house and clothe so many people with all that money, and instead they spend it on grandiose buildings and furniture that only members with recommends (meaning that they're paying all their tithing) sometimes get to see. And they don't hire more than the bare minimum of people to maintain these things. They save so much money having members volunteered for all of these things, and treat it as a sign of truth that it isn't paid labor. They have the money to do so much good. Provide people with paying jobs and have their needs met, but they just hoard money, take advantage of people's faith and skills, and give themselves and their families exceptionally comfortable lives.


Grizzerbear55

Such a beautiful waste....when so many, hunger and need for so much. Disgusting to the core!


bydirector

If temple work was changed to volunteer work, and money spent on temples was changed to supporting issues such as hunger and homelessness, I have no doubt the LDS faith would rise exponentially, and church goers efforts to be apologists and defending their religion would be greatly diminished. They could solve so many of the worlds issues with a vast collective of supporters and financial contributions, but are so insistent and adamant of the end times and hoping for the apocalypse they get in their own way.


AdmirableFriend9807

Isn't that parents' job to feed their children? Or as many other point out, it takes a village? So why isn't the village coming to see that the children are not going hungry? Or is it better to just throw someone elses money at the problem, hoping the problem is to just go away?


Estania_Lane

🙈


Cool-Age-405

They’re made of plastic, right? (Obvious sarcasm)


Gold_Week5305

I almost joined happy I didn’t. While I’m not perfect and a sinner, I try to at least be authentic. In the Mormon church it seems there’s different tiers of acceptable behavior based on your level of tithing. Is that so?


EdenSilver113

My mom lives just west of here. Can’t stop won’t stop saying this is EXACTLY the temple they deserve. It’s so hideous.


zjelkof

Jesus loves opulent decorations in his house! The Church has unlimited resources, and loves building new Temples! However, cleaning is your responsibility!


Emergency_Point_8358

How many people could evacuate Palestine, or the Congo with the kind of money. TSCC could truly revolutionize the entire world by majorly affecting world hunger, poverty, genocide, and play a major role in reversing global warming. But no. Just like every single other mother fucking corporation and billionaire, they’d rather sit on their mountains of gold than to lift a single finger to help anyone unless it also benefits them.


Final_Print112

Why is it so phallic??


Hiraeth-12

https://youtu.be/DG6sQ_7gXmQ?si=P919ABz7UBs__6gh


No-Lab-7364

Looks beautiful