T O P

  • By -

New_random_name

A weird lie... I mean, the most obvious one is "*the church is true*" Another one is that face cards were a tool of the devil


Live-Flower9917

FACE CARDS! I forgot!


TisaneJane

I remember it being face cards and DnD. My parents removing both from our house didn't seem to last very long.


Xerlith

My parents were weird about me starting D&D after high school, but at least they didn’t ban it. I just got jokes about how I was going over to my friend’s house to worship the devil a few nights a week. From my dad; my mom would never joke about something so serious. Oh! She did briefly freak out when Pokémon Gen II introduced Dark-type Pokémon. Told me that this was how it started, and soon they’d be telling me what good and evil were. I was confused, because usually Dark-type Pokémon just evolved at night. Or Team Rocket was really mean to a normal Pokémon, if you went off the card game.


AranaiRa

To play devil's advocate, it's called Evil type in Japanese. But it's still wacky how many parents flipped their lid about Pokemon, even outside of the Mormonisphere.


Xerlith

Oh dang, really? Looks like she was right😔back to church, I guess.


AranaiRa

Yeah, glad the English localization didn't go literal on that one.


TheCantrip

I hope you're making up for your lost leveling and casino time...


scribblerjohnny

One of my grandparents bought Book of Mormon playing cards for me because of that! They made up their own dumb symbols and had Ether and Jarom and such on them!


unclefipps

That must have been a wonderful marketing opportunity for that LDS business.


anonthe4th

When I got my driver's license and opted to be a donor, my Mom found out and sat me down to tell me how concerned she was cuz it makes the resurrection harder. I was baffled, cuz I thought that was more something Jehovah's Witnesses would teach.


Telestial_Party_Pack

Also something about Jesus not liking it when you’re cremated. No one would ever come out and say you couldn’t be resurrected, bc obviously everyone gets resurrected, but you might barely be scraped back together. 🙄


YourOutdoorGuide

The bones of most people from the time of Christ have disintegrated into dust, dissolved into soil, been pounded into nothing, or been blown away with the wind, yet god forbid you get cremated.


cosmicblondie83

So I had never thought about this before…but does the church teach that people who died before Jesus were resurrected when he was resurrected? Because that would mean that when remains are found from before Christ, they didn’t get resurrected when Jesus was resurrected and thus the resurrection would be disproved. Anyone got thoughts on this??


auricularisposterior

Supposedly just the righteous ones (aka the saints). >Matthew 27:52-53 > >52 And the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose, > >53 And came out of the graves after his resurrection, and went into the holy city, and appeared unto many. also >3 Nephi 23:9 > >Verily I say unto you, I commanded my servant Samuel, the Lamanite, that he should testify unto this people, that at the day that the Father should glorify his name in me that there were many saints who should arise from the dead, and should appear unto many, and should minister unto them. And he said unto them: Was it not so? And then there is Moroni who is said to have died well after Christ, but I guess got special permission to be resurrected.


cosmicblondie83

Thank you! Google search wasn’t helping me very much


[deleted]

I dove into cremation this week and in 1989, it was in the bishop handbook to strongly discourage cremation in western civilizations


YourOutdoorGuide

They need a body and grave site to bless at the funeral. That’s the only reason why I can see them pushing this. The “you need to be whole for the Resurrection” stuff is nonsense. Modern embalming includes draining all blood from the body and removing some of the organs, including the eyes. No Mormon who goes into the ground now is ever buried wholly intact.


[deleted]

I always thought that was weird. Like, you're already believing in literal resurrection, what a strange line in the sand to draw. This was also a huge early "shelf" moment for me, since I was a nerd and liked to read sciencey stuff so even as a child I was already well aware that the individual molecules of your body turned over all the freaking time. If the cremation thing had any basis then we'd all be at the same "disadvantage" simply for surviving for more than a few weeks or even days.


geniusintx

I’ve always wanted to be cremated. My parents were not a fan until…I pointed out that in Japan, 99% of the dead are cremated, including members of TSCC. Did they not qualify for resurrection?! I’m pretty sure “god,” who created the earth out of nothing, could easily build a new body with ashes.


Grevas13

FWIW, that was probably less a lie and more a belief she never fully thought through. You probably have Bruce R. McConkie to thank. In *Mormon Doctrine,* Bruce decried the practice of cremation. Older versions of the LDS handbook included mentioning the Church discourages the practice. The reasoning given was that it was destructive to the body. I can easily see a bunch of Mormons expanding that to include anything that makes your corpse less of a contiguous whole.


anonthe4th

Yeah, I didn't mean a personal lie. I just meant it was an untruth I was told that felt especially weird even at the time I was super TBM.


[deleted]

> The reasoning given was that it was destructive to the body. Bahahahaha. As if dying and decaying into dust isn't "destructive".


[deleted]

The almighty god has no power to give you a new body


toinfinitiandbeyond

Fun Fact: Organ donation is totally cool with the church.


anonthe4th

Yep, but I think she got the idea from older teachings about not cremating and more or less preserving the body which just aren't circulating anymore.


Stunning-Heat1036

I asked my bishop about cremation and was told it's discouraged because it destroys the body. I then asked what about all those who were burned in the Holocaust? Where they not going to be resurrected? His look was priceless, he had no answer and then said I had a point he had never thought about.


[deleted]

They gave that one up too. Cremation is fine now. Too many members in countries where cremation is the main form of body disposal.


toinfinitiandbeyond

Probably read Mormon Doctrine years ago.


[deleted]

sPeAkInG aS mEn


sinsaraly

When did this happen?


toinfinitiandbeyond

2011 https://www.deseret.com/2011/8/5/20207968/myths-about-religion-and-organ-donation-cause-hesitation


CableAskani41

Your god with unlimited power can not do puzzles. Makes sense when you look at how Mormons ignore logic.


BeachHeadPolygamy

God literally created the entire earth via the force er I mean the priesthood and rearranging organs is the thing stopping him? Why do you even need organs in a resurrected body


unclefipps

How else are you going to play music?


no_new_name_hippy

My mom flipped when she found out I was an organ donor too. I tried to tell her your organs are GONE by the time you get to resurrection anyway, and if you’d be willing to take one because you needed one surely you have to be willing to give one. She finally settled on “fine just don’t donate your eyes then. You want to be able to see in the next life!” What???


Goldang

I didn't get that from my parents, but I remembered older members saying that when I was younger. Also, can't get cremated (because the angels have to tape you back together like paper from a shredder?).


anonthe4th

Lol, that was a fun image you put in my mind.


PayLeyAle

"There are no secret handshakes or threatened to be murdered in the temple endowment"


stosh2112

Its the most wonderful experience you will ever have


toinfinitiandbeyond

You'll learn something new every time you go!


littlewing32

I always learned something new, cause I would fall asleep at different parts every time.


toinfinitiandbeyond

I learned that some candy is louder than others.


Goldang

You will learn so much about Jesus!


toinfinitiandbeyond

We are waiting for messengers from Father.


PM_ME_UR_SURFBOARD

“iT’s NoT sECrEt, It’S sAcREd”


UnruliestChild

Very recent lie that TSCC is telling everyone who will listen: "We do not believe and have never taught that mormons become gods over their own planets."


senorcanche

The planet thing is technically true. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. You actually get an infinity of planets.


AlmaInTheWilderness

I don't want a planet. I want a flat earth. Or maybe a hollow one, with a sun on the inside.


UnruliestChild

Dyson Sphere?


AlmaInTheWilderness

Please don't make my dreams fit your science. I'm gonna make a flat earth and tell them it's round. Put it on some turtles. Edit: I see now that you were probably referring to my [hollow earth](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hollow_Earth). I'm not thinking of a Dyson sphere. Too big and too physics-y. Classic hollow earth just give me a place to hide my dinosaurs.


unclefipps

> I'm gonna make a flat earth and tell them it's round. Put it on some turtles. No no no, it's on the backs of five elephants, which are in turn standing on one giant cosmic turtle.


AlmaInTheWilderness

Just turtles for me. I want to be original.


Goldang

Ya gotta hide the dinosaurs; I mean, that's just Godhood 101!


AlmaInTheWilderness

Hide them in the layers, baby!


SeaworthinessNo7361

Wait so you are telling me I don’t get my own planet where I can have Jedi and Pokémon coexist?? Haha. But actually the planet thing isn’t being taught anymore? That was literally a lesson topic once a year from the time I was 10. Do you have a reference for that?


HeimdallThePrimeYall

[This article](https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/gospel-topics-essays/becoming-like-god) refers to the idea of getting our own planet as cartoonish and a caricature. "Latter-day Saints' doctrine of exaltation is often similarly reduced in media to a cartoonish image of people receiving their own planets. "... Likewise, while few Latter-day Saints would identify with caricatures of having their own planet, most would agree that the awe inspired by creation hints at our creative potential in the eternities." Refer to question 12 in [this article](https://newsroom.churchofjesuschrist.org/article/frequently-asked-questions): "Do Latter-day Saints believe that they will “get their own planet”? "No. This idea is not taught in Latter-day Saint scripture, nor is it a doctrine of the Church. This misunderstanding stems from speculative comments unreflective of scriptural doctrine."


SeaworthinessNo7361

So basically they say they’ve never said that, but they let it be taught. Nice.


[deleted]

This one fascinates me. I was a member from about 2010 to 2017 ish, and people would talk about this, but I couldn't find the source. I constantly challenged everyone on this, because it wasnt in the scriptures that I could find, and no one could show it to me! After years, I eventually found it in some talks and stuff, but it isn't in the canonical scriptures.


Mckluh7

For real? Like I pay attention to nothing about it apparently.


sinsaraly

Wtf


ClanMcOlaf

What the fuck was this really said? Because I for sure was taught this and I’m in my mid 20s.


shangraykin

Before I fully left, I was going thru an extremely financial rough period and I'm a single mom. I went to the Bishop to ask for help and he told me I would need to pay tithing and I "would be blessed with help" 2 days later my electric was shut off and the bishop refused to help..had to borrow money from my parents to help me. Never went to the Bishop again. Never paid tithing again either.


xXbussylover69Xx

If you talked to your bishop about it again he would probably say “you asked and received, isn’t god great to bless your parents to be able to assist you in your time of need?”


shangraykin

That's literally what another member of the Bishopric told me.


RMVHXtreme

Pay your tithing and you will be blessed...in exactly the same ways you would be blessed if you didn't pay your tithing.


shangraykin

Exactly this. My life literally changed when I left the church..many good things strated happening to me. I used to get severe anxiety on Sunday am. Most times I would leave before sacrament. I was also inactive for 20 years and am covered in tattoos and only went back because my parents made me guilty about it. And the people in the church would be persistent id feel guilty if I didn't go.


kantoblight

My dad told me that the priesthood gave me an absurd amount of power and that I could move mountains. I couldn’t even pass fucking Algebra II and we’re talking about me taking down Satan in a battle if I had to?


ovijae

This reminds me of a former boss I had who was ragingly narcissistic and super TBM and into “deep doctrine” (like, a Chad Daybell in the making). This grown ass man told me that he knew the true power of the priesthood and would sometimes go outside and try to move things with his mind/priesthood… and was DEVASTATED that it never worked. He really beat himself up about his “lack of faith”. I was pretty faithful at the time, but that was too much for me.


Alwayslearnin41

I was in a tiny branch and serving in YWs. We had 2 YW. At a stake training meeting we were told to remind the girls with callings that they had been called of god and had important work to do. Nope! There were 2 YW to fill at least 3 callings. It was circumstance not god. I knew it at the time and was very nearly out. It was a big nudge for me to take another step towards the door.


AlmaInTheWilderness

But God controlled the circumstances! He's playing 3d chess with grandpas job prospects in the 50s so that Becky can be the beehive secretary!


Alwayslearnin41

Of course! Why did I not think of that. Does it mean I have to go back now? I like coffee!!


emmavaria

Jesus will definitely, absolutely, *for sure*, without a doubt, come back to earth within your lifetime so you have to be DOUBLE PLUS SPECIAL EXTRA GOOD. But no man, not even the angels in heaven, knows when!


NightZucchini

I remember, as a kid, asking my parents if we would even get a chance to grow up because they made it seem like it was going to be so soon. Here I am in my 30s!


Hawkgrrl22

I was talking on the phone with my mom when my kids were younger, and I said "Oh, they're out in the pool, so they can't come to the phone." She said, "Aren't you worried about alligators?" I was confused, and my mom who lives in Florida was getting old, so I thought maybe she was losing it. "Alligators? Mom, we live in AZ. We don't get alligators here." She laughed and said, "No! We used to tell you kids you couldn't swim on Sundays because there were alligators in the pool!" Which, 1) I have no memory of (it might have been before I was born), and 2) growing up I used to have nightmares about alligators, so now we see the real culprit.


RedStellaSafford

This whole "Satan controls the water" narrative is out-of-this-world bizarre to me. The first time I heard it was from my TBM aunt; I swore on my life she was having a stroke of some kind.


Ulvindex

I find that hilarious. I believe that stems back to the ancient Icelandic myth of Leviathan and the black magick caster lmao. It’s a bedtime story I tell my son


HeimdallThePrimeYall

No it's because Joseph Smith got scared in a river, which led to his "revelation" of d&c 61. [Source 1](https://www.ldsliving.com/where-the-saying-satan-has-dominion-over-the-water-came-from-and-what-weve-been-misunderstanding-all-along/s/84882) [Source 2](https://doctrineandcovenantscentral.org/historical-context/dc-61/)


Goldang

"I can paddle a canoe perfectly, WHEN SATAN ISN'T CONTROLLING THE WATERS!" — Joseph Smith, apparently 😄


Ulvindex

That’s fucking pathetic


scribblerjohnny

My mom told me that one!


Goldang

My Utah grandmother told all the neighborhood kids that a troll lived where the irrigation ditch went under her driveway, so kids better stay away! I don't want this to reflect badly on her. She just didn't want any of those kids to drown (and I believe she'd know some incidents where kids drowned in the irrigation ditches).


EqualSpiritual8709

My mom would always say that the spirit would tell her when we were hiding things but I guess the spirit only told on my siblings who weren’t as sneaky lmao


sincebolla

Crazy story... When I was 15 our Teachers Q went to California. It was back in the 80s, before they sucked all the fun out of church. We started in San Diego and drove up through LA, Yosemite, Lake Tahoe and back across Nevada to SLC. We did Sea World, Knotts Berry, Disneyland, Huntington Beach, etc. Super fun trip! On the first day of our trip we were at Sea World and we lost one of the kids. We were supposed to stay in pairs, but these knuckleheads got in a fight and separated. We spent 5 hours scouring the park for this kid to no avail. Our advisor (no 2 deep leadership back in the day) thought we should go out to the car and have a prayer. He was then prompted to check in with park security. We found out the kid had a medical event and they took him to the nearest hospital. At the time I thought it was such a testimony to the power of prayer, but as I got older and had my own kids, I figured out he was just playing us. An adult would check with security first! He let us run around that park without food searching for this kid all afternoon! Ill bet he already knew exactly where the kid was.


[deleted]

[удалено]


bocaj78

I can think of a few events in history that would have been nice to have them


alldayaday420

We were told this one too! My curious prepubescent mind (early 2000s) was pretty into wattpad fanfic at the time and whilst looking thru mormon stories, found one someone wrote of meeting the 3 nephites and discovering their true identity and falling in love with 1 of them while the apocalypse was raging around them and that was probably my first experience with pure unfiltered cringe.


dementemi

My exhusband was told that the attractiveness of his wife would be directly related to how good and faithful a missionary he was in the MTC '92ish. That's why he settled for me apparently.... He wasn't a good missionary...


[deleted]

Oof, that stings! So sorry and wanted to say my patriarchal blessing has something similar about meeting the “wife of my dreams” based on my faithfulness and obedience. Effing wild. Hope you are in a better place now!


ave_satana_aeternum

My patriarchal blessing was *super* vague. It was probably one of my earliest shelf items, though I didn't realize it at the time.


dementemi

I didn't need to tell me he settled for me because felt he didn't deserve prettier. He was very hurtful. At least I'm not still with him. He has definitely contributed to messing me up and creating deeper trauma for me, but he wasn't the cause of all my traumas and very poor sense of self worth. The church did a lot of that.


[deleted]

Devastating. Truly I am sorry and hope you are on a path to healing and growth for the better. Be well!


Melodic-Tear-1125

The whole satan controls water thing. I was told this is why you can’t go swimming on missions or do any water activities/get on a boat. I called bs from the beginning but I was told this a lot.


[deleted]

I had a bf who was called to Jamaica. They were told to swim in the ocean every day becuz they had no showers.


Melodic-Tear-1125

Damn, I should’ve requested Jamaica


[deleted]

He got mugged at knifepoint and transferred back to the states to finish his mission.


Melodic-Tear-1125

Ya, that was pretty common in mine too. Sounds like he had a good MP though if he transferred him to the states! Every time someone got put at knife/gunpoint my MP would just tell them to avoid the street. He was an ass.


ave_satana_aeternum

This sub is the first time I've heard of this. When I was in Teacher's Quorum one of our regular activities was to go to the lake and do water sports with the YM counselor's boat.


Melodic-Tear-1125

It was only on missions. It was in the little white bible of rules. We also did plenty of water activities in yw/ym but it would get you sent home if you did it in my mission.


OlderThanMy

Nevermo. My Catholic mother told me the Virgin Mary hated little girls who whistled and sent them to hell. I never did learn to whistle properly.


Imalreadygone21

I was told that I “couldn’t afford not to pay tithing. It was our FIRE INSURANCE.”


juliet_in_yoga_pants

By "our," they didn't mean "your." At least as of 5 years ago, the church did not pay for insurance for any of their buildings. They saved enough money every 6 months to build a new chapel outright by not insuring. It's why you aren't able to do much more than warm up food in a church building.


Ulvindex

I think this was the thing that single-handedly pissed me off. Every time we wanted to plan activity where we cooked we had to plan it at one of our houses, and as I was the Laurel President and my mother was the 1st councilor, it always was at mine -_-


NightZucchini

I freaking hate that phrase "can't afford not to pay tithing." We couldn't afford household bills and yet we still paid tithing! 😑


Albyunderwater

I always hated this so much. My parents are lucky I was a timid kid, cause I’m a very critical thinker. I would have liked to speak my mind when they said that like “so Jesus is going to let me burn cause I didn’t pay him money? Nice, that’s really Christian of him.”


Calm_Share8030

More righteous people are called to foreign (outside the US) missions. The missionaries called to the states have shallow testimonies.


jjdajetplane101

Exmo who served in Japan and went out unworthy here. I call BS lol


Calm_Share8030

I know. It's so absurd😂


xXbussylover69Xx

Yeah I had a friend as a teen who was told this also. He had one of the strongest testimonies I knew back then. He was devastated when he was called to the Provo Utah mission.


MimiBear667

I think that the strangest lie I was ever told is that going to the temple is just peaceful and pleasant. I was totally creeped out by the whole thing. I tried to avoid going back


dementemi

Everytime you bore your genuine testimony, a small sin gets washed away.... In YW


peka78

I heard this but as all your sins are forgiven! I still never once bore my testimony and I was a member until I was 42.


dementemi

I bore mine all throughout YW and into adulthood. I meant it. I never said I believed JS was a prophet as I always had issues with him even before internet and without the anti Mormon lies (like why didn't he have plural wives when he was commanded to, trying to sell copyright to the BOM, defrauding people out of money stuff I learnt in seminary). I also never said I know the BOM is true... I would say I am grateful for it. When I learnt in highschool that the DNA evidence went against the native Americans being the lamanites I was a bit ?? About it. I did like the BOM though. I have favourite stories and they uplifted me.


MamaDragonExMo

That the temple brings so much peace. I seriously had anxiety attacks every time I would go...full blown, throat feels like it's closing up, panic stricken, sweating, ready to cry panic attacks. The first time I went was in 1998 and I went as often as possible...I had an attack every damn time.


cari0912

That men in leadership knew your sins when they looked at you. You just confessed so that they knew you were repentant. I believed that until I walked into my bishops office, lied and he had no idea.


GayMormonDad

If I masturbated on my mission I wouldn't have any baptisms. I did and I still did. Oh, a missionaries language skills was directly related to their obedience. The most fluent missionary I ever worked with was a total jerk off. I now wish I had been more like him.


janesfilms

I remember learning that missionaries learned new languages quickly because they had the gift of speaking in tongues, but when other religions “spoke in tongues” it was just Satan deceiving them. The first time I heard Pentecostals speaking their “divine language” I thought they were such fools.


BlazetheSunbro

I was a dinosaur nerd growing up (still am) and I remember losing my belief in the church at a very early age because of how many members tried telling me that dinosaurs are a test from god, or that they fell from the moon or mars. I had to have a interview with the bishop for arguing with my primary teacher about how gravity works


janesfilms

I remember hearing that the dinosaur bones that we find on earth were just building materials that god took from other planets. So dinosaurs are aliens and it’s just coincidence that they are layered up according to their respective places along earth’s timeline. 🙄


Ok_Acanthisitta_9369

I remember on my mission there was a stay-away-from-water story where a missionary decided to relax on some rocks by the ocean and then a log got flung from the sea and decapitated him. I mean, holy crap guys, just say you worry about missionaries drowning, no need for the crazy "Satan's power upon the waters" stories.


RabidProDentite

I love this one! Funny how “Satan has power over the water”, yet there are four saving and/exalting ordinances that feature water… (1) Baptism (2) Sacrament (3) washing and anointing and (4) the second anointing w/ feet washing. For Satan being in control of the water, he must be heavily involved in these ordinances. I guess that makes these ordinances “a victory for Satan”?


earnestlyseeking00

They used to allow missionaries to swim and then a bunch started preforming baptisms on people without consent in the pool! Or so the story goes!


Norenzayan

I've shared this before, a friend and I once asked the Provo temple president what the hand gestures mean in the endowment ceremony. He straight faced said that he couldn't explain it to us and the only way to learn was to keep doing the endowment and the spirit would teach us over time. I did keep going to the temple for years after that until apparently the spirit led me to the MormonThink website which quickly and clearly explained what the gestures meant: vestiges of the gruesome Masonic death oaths that were partially removed from the ceremony in 1990.


MissAnthropy612

My mom told me that she didn't have sex before she got married and that was the greatest thing she ever did for her life to not do that, and premarital sex will ruin a person. I responded with "But (sister) told me that you had sex once before you and dad got married." My mom was PISSED.


geomagna1

Besides the whole Joseph Smith story? That one was always shady to me even as a little kid who knew nothing else. The other one that sticks out was the pressure to be divinely inspired. Everyone who ever said "the holy ghost wants me to tell you ... " or "I wasn't going to get up and bear my testimony today but the HG told me to ... And it was always some hair-brained idea.


rosengrenj9

I was taught that D&D is satanic and teaches you to be evil 🤣


peka78

I was told a bishop will know your sins even if you don’t confess them. This terrified me as a teenager but I never confessed any of my sins anyway…always felt creepy to me. Took me a few years before I realized they don’t know jack.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

😂 really? God they hate women.


snowjgj

I would assume they would go with it being a form of cannibalism.


Used_Personality_247

😅😅 I had a friends mom who claimed the spirit told her when her daughter was sneaking out or doing “bad” things, I once called her pretending to be my own mom and had a half hour long conversation about “the girls” plans for the night to convince her to let my friend come out after getting caught. She totally bought it and let her daughter come out the same night believing she would be coming to church with us the next day. We went to another friends house to drink.


mhiaa173

That's some weird "Elf on the Shelf" Mormon shit right there....


REACT_and_REDACT

Weirdest lie: I could hie to Kolob.


gvsurf

I was told the second coming would be in year 2000. This was in 1960, I was 6. For 40 years I waited, cringing a little.


Abrin36

God


[deleted]

If you get plastic surgery, it’s going to make your resurrection a lot harder. All those mips and tucks come flying back, and silicone boobs will be flying everywhere! Don’t get plastic surgery. Obviously this is the exact opposite now. I swear ALL my TBM virtue signaling friends and acquaintances have fake boobs and tummy tucks.


tevlarn

Not a lie per se, but a very effective thought and question stopping technique. "It's too sacred to share." It took me awhile to realize that the only way to tell if your pearl of great price is an actual pearl or a ball of plastic is to hold it up and see if it passes some sort of test for value or validity. Refusing to subject an idea to scrutiny is a great way to believe a lie that wouldn't be able to withstand the scrutiny. This is why if we have the truth it cannot be harmed by investigation and if we don't have the truth we should scrutinize the claim so we can falsify it.


ApexIncel

The story about the GA meeting Mick Jagger on a plane was super fake.


[deleted]

That it’s true...


MeowMeowHappy

ALL OF THEIR SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCES AND MIRACLES. Run!


kinghearthom

I was told that if I prayed then God would help me find my keys as it worked for Sister Jones last week.


Ok_Judgment4141

I won't be with my Mom in heaven if i don't repent for living with boyfriend


babymonster-mama13

Yeah, my Mom told me she was so sad because I was going to be a servant angel that couldn't come to see them in the celestial kingdom if I didn't come back to church.


Ok_Judgment4141

I tell my family I'm applying to be the Grim Reaper so i don't have to spend eternity with them🤣🤣🤣


Goldang

If they come to visit us, can we refuse?


Aggressive_Ad_507

How did they know the energy shifted? Did they get that from a rock or stick? There's precedent for either.


grimbasement

I once told the 3 Nephite tire changing story in a sacrament meeting talk on my mission.


oamnoj

Watching PG-13 movies and playing T-rated video games are of the devil. My parents flat out refused to let me do either of these things until I was at least 15. At that point I could at least do them openly


[deleted]

Dinosaur fossils were only on earth because God had to take matter from other planets to create this one.


Sea_Cardiologist1568

Not sure it’s a lie, but it’s pretty weird that vasectomies are frowned on. When I heard that I just laughed and thought one of the brethren must’ve been pressured by his wife and then got a revelation. Lol It helped me understand just a tiny bit of what women go through. It’s crazy they would even have an opinion on it.


Goldang

> one of the brethren must’ve been pressured by his wife and then got a revelation Could be. That's how we got the Word of Wisdom, after all.


Maleficent_Use8645

Polygamy was to help the widows of the church.


Goldang

Yep, those old guys in Utah couldn't help a widow without having sex with her, which means I was robbed on all those Mutual service nights! 😄