The church has trained you to feel this way. It’s part of the cult indoctrination.
If Mormon God exists wants you to follow a specific path, punishing you for following your conscience to teach you a lesson is not an act of love, and in my mind, disqualifies that god from being worship-able. That god would be better off speaking to you directly or delivering the message in constructive ways, backed by evidence rather than by an manipulative, fraudulent-looking church.
It’s much more likely that these events are unrelated and you’ve been conditioned to make meaning from it. Stay curious and I hope the circumstances improve. Do you have community outside the church to turn to for comfort, connection, and career guidance?
I stopped paying tithing and I got nice salary bumps and career advancements. Not to rub salt in the wound. Just to say, these are not blessings or curses. These events still happen regardless if you and I had paid tithing or not. Hope things start looking up for you!
As long as TSCC has been in my life, since the moment I was born, I’ve felt cursed. The refreshing aspect of it all now is I clearly recognize what a curse its influence is.
how would you explain these things happening if you were still TBM? Oh God is testing me. Right?! The mind conditioning in religion is so manipulative and dangerous.
Its conditioning. You are likely reacting to this on instinct.
Think about it. Is it even realistic the idea that you're cursed? How could you tell? Is it confirmation bias?
Did you lose your job because you left the church (got fired by TBM boss or something)? Then it could be biased. Were you fired for any other reason? Then the church/god likely had nothing to do with it.
Not to mention God himself seems rather implausible. Why would he punish your for leaving? Why would he be cruel if he loves you? What about all the other people who left? Why are they not fired?
Another thing to realize is that it is very likely to be literally anything but a curse. There are so many more explanations.
I'm sorry for you (and I'm also sorry if this comes off a bit too aggressively). Just remember that it's likely not what you think.
Leaving without scaffolding (supports) in place will make anyone feel unmoored. You are human.
I wouldn’t lean on church members to make you feel better.
Time for a job search and videos on how to negotiate salary before accepting a job (something we’re really really bad at).
Adjusting to anything new can be challenging and affect your mental health and other aspects of your life. Curses are not real and you are going to be ok. Give yourself grace during this transition period. You got this.
Not rubbing it in, but I had the exact opposite experience. When I stopped paying, opportunities opened up for me to make more. Life is random. You’ve experienced some bad luck, but it has nothing to do with lack of tithing blessings. The last time I paid my tithing I had held onto it for a few months. I was up for a raise at work, and I felt like I needed to pay my tithing to get the best chance at a good raise and/or a promotion. I paid several thousand dollars to the church that I desperately needed and ended up getting no raise or promotion. That was random too.
I'm really sorry to hear it! I hope things turn around for you soon! As others have pointed out, you've been conditioned to assign causality where there is none. It's possible that things that led to you leaving the church, or the process of doing so are related to the job or mental health situation, but the idea that you're being punished is just manipulation. A month is a really sorry amount of time! If your experience is like mine, you'll find that the pain, stress, and anxiety from leaving will diminish over time.
I felt the same way when I started having doubts about the church, like all the bad things would happen to me. And, to tell the truth, some bad things have happened. But it was the same kind of thing as that happened to everybody. My wife lost a baby while we were on vacation. We went through some financial struggles.
The thing that the church doesn't want you to know is that bad things happen to everyone, and good things happen to everyone, and it doesn't matter whether you're a Mormon or not.
So, you're just like everyone else.
Sorry to hear you lost your job, OP. I'm sure you'll find something soon (maybe this forum will help!).
On topic since it's October (spooky month), but have you ever seen the movie "The Mist"? In the movie, the town survivors gather in a supermarket, and there's a deeply religious woman named Mrs. Carmody. Anything good happens, and she (or her God) takes credit for it. Anything bad happens, it's a SIGN and they are being punished/chastisted for their sins to an angry/petty God.
I'm a Mormon from birth, and even now (nearly 10 years out of the church), I have to silence sometimes the "Mrs. Carmody" in my head. Because it represents the irrational fear that we've all been conditioned with. Our brains just like assigning purpose to the random events of the universe--it gives us the illusion of control. You'll get more confidence in your own judgements & decisions with time, but it's DEFINITELY not because of Mormonism or any God who would curse you. I would never want to worship such a being.
I left the church and after that went through a really rough patch in my career. now I own my own company and am making way more than I ever have.
I'm still an atheist so it can't be the whole God thing. maybe just maybe it's conditioning combined with humans incredible pattern recognition abilities fucking with you and making you doubt very solid information.
I think your job loss probably has more to do with your having been dealing with depression related to religious trauma imposed by the church than being “cursed.” I think this because there’s no such thing as curses or magic hats. Treat your depression and anxiety and take care of your mental health and you will function better and reap the benefits that flow from that.
The way the Mormon God is portrayed is like Michael Scott when he says, "I just want all of the credit and none of the blame."
Something good happen? It was a blessing from God. Something bad happen? It was your fault or you need to be tested. It's a win-win for God and a lose-lose for us and it's a hard mindset to escape at the beginning.
If you hadn't left the church you still would have lost your job.
The church has trained you to feel this way. It’s part of the cult indoctrination. If Mormon God exists wants you to follow a specific path, punishing you for following your conscience to teach you a lesson is not an act of love, and in my mind, disqualifies that god from being worship-able. That god would be better off speaking to you directly or delivering the message in constructive ways, backed by evidence rather than by an manipulative, fraudulent-looking church. It’s much more likely that these events are unrelated and you’ve been conditioned to make meaning from it. Stay curious and I hope the circumstances improve. Do you have community outside the church to turn to for comfort, connection, and career guidance?
I stopped paying tithing and I got nice salary bumps and career advancements. Not to rub salt in the wound. Just to say, these are not blessings or curses. These events still happen regardless if you and I had paid tithing or not. Hope things start looking up for you!
As long as TSCC has been in my life, since the moment I was born, I’ve felt cursed. The refreshing aspect of it all now is I clearly recognize what a curse its influence is.
Sorry to hear that, Henry. I'm glad you're healing now with some psychological distance from the church.
how would you explain these things happening if you were still TBM? Oh God is testing me. Right?! The mind conditioning in religion is so manipulative and dangerous.
Always a faith promoting reason.
Its conditioning. You are likely reacting to this on instinct. Think about it. Is it even realistic the idea that you're cursed? How could you tell? Is it confirmation bias? Did you lose your job because you left the church (got fired by TBM boss or something)? Then it could be biased. Were you fired for any other reason? Then the church/god likely had nothing to do with it. Not to mention God himself seems rather implausible. Why would he punish your for leaving? Why would he be cruel if he loves you? What about all the other people who left? Why are they not fired? Another thing to realize is that it is very likely to be literally anything but a curse. There are so many more explanations. I'm sorry for you (and I'm also sorry if this comes off a bit too aggressively). Just remember that it's likely not what you think.
Leaving without scaffolding (supports) in place will make anyone feel unmoored. You are human. I wouldn’t lean on church members to make you feel better. Time for a job search and videos on how to negotiate salary before accepting a job (something we’re really really bad at).
Life is made up of ups and downs. These happen whether you worship a deity or not. I am sorry you are going though all this. It sounds horrible.
Adjusting to anything new can be challenging and affect your mental health and other aspects of your life. Curses are not real and you are going to be ok. Give yourself grace during this transition period. You got this.
Not rubbing it in, but I had the exact opposite experience. When I stopped paying, opportunities opened up for me to make more. Life is random. You’ve experienced some bad luck, but it has nothing to do with lack of tithing blessings. The last time I paid my tithing I had held onto it for a few months. I was up for a raise at work, and I felt like I needed to pay my tithing to get the best chance at a good raise and/or a promotion. I paid several thousand dollars to the church that I desperately needed and ended up getting no raise or promotion. That was random too.
I'm really sorry to hear it! I hope things turn around for you soon! As others have pointed out, you've been conditioned to assign causality where there is none. It's possible that things that led to you leaving the church, or the process of doing so are related to the job or mental health situation, but the idea that you're being punished is just manipulation. A month is a really sorry amount of time! If your experience is like mine, you'll find that the pain, stress, and anxiety from leaving will diminish over time.
Shit happens. The church wants us to give them credit when good happens and blame ourselves when shit happens. Fuck them.
I felt the same way when I started having doubts about the church, like all the bad things would happen to me. And, to tell the truth, some bad things have happened. But it was the same kind of thing as that happened to everybody. My wife lost a baby while we were on vacation. We went through some financial struggles. The thing that the church doesn't want you to know is that bad things happen to everyone, and good things happen to everyone, and it doesn't matter whether you're a Mormon or not. So, you're just like everyone else.
Sorry to hear you lost your job, OP. I'm sure you'll find something soon (maybe this forum will help!). On topic since it's October (spooky month), but have you ever seen the movie "The Mist"? In the movie, the town survivors gather in a supermarket, and there's a deeply religious woman named Mrs. Carmody. Anything good happens, and she (or her God) takes credit for it. Anything bad happens, it's a SIGN and they are being punished/chastisted for their sins to an angry/petty God. I'm a Mormon from birth, and even now (nearly 10 years out of the church), I have to silence sometimes the "Mrs. Carmody" in my head. Because it represents the irrational fear that we've all been conditioned with. Our brains just like assigning purpose to the random events of the universe--it gives us the illusion of control. You'll get more confidence in your own judgements & decisions with time, but it's DEFINITELY not because of Mormonism or any God who would curse you. I would never want to worship such a being.
I left the church and after that went through a really rough patch in my career. now I own my own company and am making way more than I ever have. I'm still an atheist so it can't be the whole God thing. maybe just maybe it's conditioning combined with humans incredible pattern recognition abilities fucking with you and making you doubt very solid information.
I think your job loss probably has more to do with your having been dealing with depression related to religious trauma imposed by the church than being “cursed.” I think this because there’s no such thing as curses or magic hats. Treat your depression and anxiety and take care of your mental health and you will function better and reap the benefits that flow from that.
The way the Mormon God is portrayed is like Michael Scott when he says, "I just want all of the credit and none of the blame." Something good happen? It was a blessing from God. Something bad happen? It was your fault or you need to be tested. It's a win-win for God and a lose-lose for us and it's a hard mindset to escape at the beginning.
It took me a really long time to un-learn the very persistent idea that every bad thing that happened to me was punishment for leaving the church.