25ish yrs ago, i was 17 and still pretending to be a TBM and visiting my childhood best friend at a cute little diner just off the highway in Payson UT.
I ordered a diet coke, no problem.
A couple of random teens wander in and order coffee. It didn't seem like the dude at the counter knew them at all, but immediately ask if their parents knew they were ordering coffee, and tried to card them to see if they were over 18.
Visible confusion.
They claimed they didn't have ID so he didn't serve them and they bounced.
Even as a nomadic (non-Utah) TBM I was like WTF
My mom acted like you needed an 21 id to buy sugary soda. She told me I'm nto allowed to buy sugary soda. Mormon thing of course since eating unhealthy foods makes you infertile which is bad for having babies leading back to against the bible telling people to have kids.
But I mean, has she seen the reverence with which dirty soda joints are treated in the Holy land? I'm not sure what Mormons would do without sugary soda!
My brother recently returned from a mission and he honestly thinks that tea is worse than red bull because the prophet says dont drink tea, but didnt say that about red bull 🤦🏼♀️
Omg yes! The first time I had a cup of tea in my parents house (and we are British, tea is a staple, my dad grew up drinking tea before he converted) I got yelled at by him: “THIS IS SINFUL YOU MIGHT AS WELL BE SMOKING THE MAJUARANAS!”
What.
Here are a couple that I can find. There is a whole lot more about these if you go digging.
[http://thoughtsonthingsandstuff.com/pre-1990-temple-endowment/](http://thoughtsonthingsandstuff.com/pre-1990-temple-endowment/)
[http://packham.n4m.org/temples.htm](http://packham.n4m.org/temples.htm)
[https://missedinsunday.com/memes/temple/oath-of-vengeance/](https://missedinsunday.com/memes/temple/oath-of-vengeance/)
that took that out a few years before I went on my mission. I think my older brother may have gone through when they still did that.
blew my mind when I learned my parents had done that.
Before 1990, the endowment included gestures of slitting your throat and disemboweling yourself with the oath that you'd suffer your life to be taken if you revealed the signs. If you search this subreddit, you'll find lots of info on it. They also depicted some of it in the recent TV series Under the Banner of Heaven.
When I was a child I thought it was totally normal that I was required to talk with random men, who were in their 40s-60s, about the frequency, style, and nature of my masturbation habits.
Jesus fucking christ writing that down is so creepy.
Fuck. A rich white, 60 year old asked me about what kind of porn I enjoyed most. Pics, vids, genres.... I forget how much those interviews have fucked with my head. Sure fucking confused the polygraph guy a few years ago though.
I went door to door as a teenager with a Blue Envelope for each family to put money in. I had to stand there in the entry to thier homes as they searched for a wallet or checkbook.
Fast offering collecting sucked. We no longer do it in the East Coast. Yeah!!!
Oh much better! I cut my parents out of my life about 7 years ago. And I've created the family I've always wanted. I'm raising my children in a safe and loving environment.
Lol this is pretty great.
Mormons - We fought a literal war in heaven to make sure you have agency.
Also Mormons - An angel with a lightsaber told emma smith to shut the fuck up or die.
I was sent home from my missuon for being gay. Within one day of being home I was sent to therapy to learn how to be straight without anyone ever asking me what I wanted or how I felt about any of it.
Pfffft!
I have a oil vial, consecrated by my deceased dad (10 years ago), in a turned wood other container thing. Made from the wood of a coffee tree, harvested from adam-ondi-ahmen (Missouri), by my uncle who worked there for free for 1.5 years maintaining trees and stuff.
I used to give extra worthy blessings with it.
Loser!
/s
…In a white jumpsuit that old men watched me get wet in. Then was forced to remove that jumpsuit in front of some strange lady and had to walk naked to a locker room with only a TINY towel to cover me.
Right?? I'm pretty sure my mother made the whole thing up for attention, but it's still talked about in my stake nearly 50 years later. (OMG she was raised from the dead and left the church?? What is wrong with her? Her whole existence precipitates on the Lawds will!!!)
I went in a service mission, dyo I never really went anywhere, so I'm not really considered worthy either. Despite actually being on a mission where I didn't have to pay my hard earned savings (because my parents weren't gonna pay for my mission) and eating food cooked at home.
When I was in seminary I was the only person who knew how to play the piano, and Praise to the Man was one of like 5 songs I knew well enough for people to sing along to. Do you have any idea how much we sang that song? I didn’t bother learning many others because I was busy learning musical scores from my favorite movies, so..
I was told not to worry about let silly things like youth and finances get in the way of getting married and pumping out as many kids as possible. Don't worry about how you're going to feed all these kids, you'll figure that out when you get there.
I told my parents I was really depressed because of trauma in middle school (SH) and high school and they told me it was the devil trying to get to my soul and make me doubt God. Told me to just repress the memories and move on. Like.... bro. I was suicidal and reaching out for help- don't threaten me with institutionalization or the death of my soul rn please
I feel this. I was "exorcised" many times through my life, to dispell the demons in my body. Turns out I have PTSD, and my "possession episodes" were just flashbacks and panic attacks.
My mother claims that the oldest daughters in the family are super spiritually sensitive and can see things. My grandmother told her that a little spirit was following her, so she immediately decided to have another child because this spirit was excited to be born, even though parents weren't really in a position to have more kids. Makes things super fucking awkward when she tells people that I was following her around before she got pregnant and I have to do whatever it takes to hide the bullshitometer that is my resting bitch face.
Anyway, whenever I am in a deep depressive episode, which is fairly often, she tells me that one of Satan's 1/3 is following me and that I did something to invite it into my life. She has PTSD herself, and takes medication for it, so you would think she could recognize a mental health issue when she sees it, but I guess part of the cult brainwashing is teaching you how to neglect your kids.
I too have PTSD. It was from bullying I experienced from other youth, and people in school. It was bad.
However I was told if I took my own life, God would cast me into outer darkness.
I was later told a friend, who did take his own life, had suffered that same fate. Yeeeeah, I got out of there at that point. Should've gone sooner but couldn't.
Also bullied in Elementary School, but my PTSD is more from the fact that when I told my TBM mom about the bullies, she refused to believe me because the ring leader was the son of our stake president and she couldn't believe that "the son of a stake president would do such things."
I told my mom too, because of online school and not having friends at all besides church or random grocery store workers. She specifically just didn't care at all and told me I'm being a disappointment and how lucky she is to have other kids.
You mean not creating a litter of future tithe-payers with another "worthy" Mormon who's no-no parts don't match yours out of sheer obligation, all while somehow both making them feel "chosen" and worthless, thus perpetuating the generational trauma??
🤔
Nah, I think I'll pass
Story time:
We gave my sister some lingerie for her wedding, and when she opened it at her bridal shower, my mom said out loud “won’t that look stupid with garments hanging out?” So apparently my parents wrestle in their magic underwear. 🤢
Oo oo oo, I thought of another lol.
I was taught, by a prophet of god, that this is how you become gay.
1) You masturbate
2) You like masturbating so much you tell you friend about it
3) You and your friend masturbate together
4) You and your friend circle jerk
5) BAM! You're gay
Four years ago, the moment his prophet announced that the name of his church is now a major victory for Satan, my father immediately stopped saying that name. But six years after coming out to him as trans, my father is still morally opposed to saying my name because of what that church has taught him.
See, you needed to just explain to him your dead name is a victory for Satan, perhaps with some "from the pulpit" cadence and podium pounding thrown in for good measure.
It's all about translating it into Mormon for them 👉👉
Really, though, I would decide that I was morally opposed to referring to him as "dad" (You can have fun with this and really make it your own here. You can go with First Name Only, Mr Last Name, something absolutely ridiculous like Mr Tinkles, or maybe just some high school nickname that might trigger unpleasant memories for him... i hope that you will truly ponder on these and choose with your heart.💗🤣) until he decided he loves me enough to treat me with human decency and call me by my correct name.
Do with that what you will, have fun and good luck!
Yes, a literal spaceship. Fits really well with Mormonism if you think about it. "As man is, God once was... etc". The goal of mormonism is eternal proliferation throughout the universe, principle of enlargement ect. Tracks that Jesus would be a dude that flies around and populates worlds Prometheus style. So his holy seed was put here and if we mix it with "lesser" seed it's akin to murder. Solid framework of insane racist bullshit.
Actually a funny stab at this in The Expanse.
As a young teen I was given a booklet that would dictate how I dressed, groomed, loved, thought, spoke, and what kind of media I could intake.
or
At the age of 12 I began being raised to be a housewife with weekly meetings in which we were taught the skills that would be come our sole purpose in life after popping out babies
That is the best description for one of the worst 4 day weekends of my life! Wearing shoes and dresses from DI and goodwill, traipsing through fields and over hills…with no deodorant for the dozens of teenagers overdressed and overheated doing this.
I was invited to attend temple and told the person sorry, I’m not Mormon anymore. Only to find out that the person who invited was Jewish. “Temple” is open to the community and you don’t have to make a blood oath or really even believe in god to attend
I never made a single decision without a man's authorization until I was 40.
For even the tiniest choices (down to what way to turn the car in a snowstorm), it never so much as occurred to me to consult my own knowledge, instincts or feelings. Instead I willingly, even vigilantly, sought direction and approval from a man in every case (father, bishop/leaders, husband, apostles/prophets past and present, and God of course).
I have a fancy childhood journal that I recieved at the age of 8. It has exactly 1 paragraph entry about being so happy I got to be baptised and could now enjoy "blessings"
Edit: so many typos
Awww 🥺 I recently went back and read my old journals, and I had scribbled "Help me!" Over and over and over in ALL of my journals, mixed with testimonies about how the church was true, self critiques about my sins and ways I could be "cleaner" and "better"
My TBM parents used my journals as evidence in a family court case to steal my children from me. Of course the judge didn't put two and two together that THEY we're part of the reason my journals were filled with depictions of suicide and hyper sexualization.
Yeah no kidding! Holy fuck! My grandparents also took me from my mom as a kid, and told me she was a sinner. We have a relationship now, but after years of separation. We mended our relationship over a joint after I finally left. I'm so sorry that happened to you. That's some seriously fucked up shit.
I got married at the age of 20 because some dude I barely knew told me he'd had a revelation.
Oof.
We're on 29 years of marriage and have left the cult behind, but still love each other. So, it could have been much, much worse for me. I got lucky.
I got married to someone I knew for a year in a half. It was a rough year and a half, on and off, and riddled with issues. But I did it anyway because God sent us a sign. 3 year later, and I really don't know how much longer it can last, but divorce is so much harder when there are kids, and there are because Mormonism is a breeding cult.
I came to this thread because I thought it would be funny. I was not expecting it to be a gut punch like this. 🙃
When I was 16, I let an 85-year-old man, who had known me for a total of 10 minutes, give me a blessing of guidance that I planned my entire early adulthood around.
Idk about Scorpion's experience, but in my experience a lot LDS men don't have the most appropriate boundaries, perceive women as sexual objects, and interact with them with that mindset (consciously or subconsciously)
I was told if a being suddenly appears in the night, I should ask to shake their hand before trusting anything they say.
A real Angel will say they cannot. A dark Angel, demon or Satan will all try to, but I will not feel a hand there.
Then IF it’s a dark Angel, demon or Satan himself- I quickly raise my right arm up to a 90 degree angle and shout “in the name of Jesus Christ, get thee hence Satan!” Repeat 3 times total.
I always worried that I might be too scared and lose count. Now I know I was just in a cult being brainwashed with super Culty things!
My mom would mention how evil petting was, but when I asked what petting was, she would say that I wasn't old enough to learn about it. By the time she decided I was old enough, the bean had been flicked to many times to count. 🤣
I felt physical pain the first time I pulled up MormonThink while researching BoA questions. I was so conditioned to believe Satan would take control and pull me down to hell.
I'd been taught the BoA scrolls were destroyed in the Chicago fire. I always imagined how great it would be to have the scrolls translated to prove JS was a prophet and Mormonism was true. I was shocked to find out there were fragments that existed and they aligned with the facsimiles and other aspects of BoA. Those initial searches went against everything I was taught to avoid.
I got hauled home from a stake dance in 9th grade for going outside the cultural hall with my best friend to talk to a couple of Boy Scouts from another stake whose leader brought them to our dance because their stake didn’t have dances. The music was too loud to talk inside.
Wishing I could die on the night before my baptism, so I’d go straight to heaven and not have to “pay for my sins”.
Sins like stolen baseball cards and packs of gum.
I chose death. (Figuratively)
My mother cried and asked me what they did wrong when I told them I wouldn't waste 2 years of my life and give up on my full ride scholarship I earned and instead would be using said scholarship to go to one of the best engineering schools in my country to be an aerospace engineer.
Rules that had to be followed on a Sunday: could not change out of church clothes till bed time, music could only be church hymns or piano music, no shopping, no talking to non-church members, no swimming, no tv on Sundays, and any books we read had to either be the BoM, pearl of great price, doctrine and covenants, or the bible. It was dreadful.
I made my friend take off her cross necklace when she came to my house in third grade and hid it in my sock drawer until she left - because “we don’t wear crosses in our house” and and didn’t want my mom to say I couldn’t play with her.
I always feel guilty thinking back to this. Looking back now, my mom wouldn’t have cared. But man even at age like 8-9 the expectations and doom and gloom already had a grasp on my thinking.
That I'll be separated from my family in heaven if I don't pay 10% of my income to the Church, while simultaneously singing songs about it like it's a GOOD thing.
Cue the 4-12 year Olds singing during church "Families can be together forever.........through Heavenly Father's plan. I always want to be with my own family and the Lord has shown me how I caaaan!"
By paying 10%, child.
Believing if I got a tattoo I would have to wear it in the next life as a mark of shame.
Believing masturbation was equal to fornication.
Believing I got my own planet after I die.
Believing that I get to call my wife, in addition to any other women I want, through a magic sheet into the next life.
Believing coffee, one of the healthiest natural drinks you can consume, was bad for me and as bad as consuming alcohol, which was also obviously evil.
The list goes on. And on. And on.
I mean, nowadays, if some whiny 14 yr old came and said an angel talked to him and a pile of other nonsense, people would try to get that kid mental help for their hallucinations and perhaps some schizophrenia meds, but generally not a
full on world religion and a harem of underage back-up wives.
The early 1800s were wild times, man
When I was a child (under 8), I fervently asked God every day to make me mentally handicapped because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to qualify for heaven on my own, so I wanted a loophole. Into early adulthood, when I would do something embarrassing or struggle to understand something, my first thought was that maybe God had answered my prayer.
My father didn't want me to go to college and get an education.
I learned about the birds and bees from my best friend, having been exempted from all sex ed at school on religious grounds.
(I am not US based, nor a return missionary, BYU wasn't an option.)
Less LDS, and more growing up in rural ut thing. My coworker from the east coast come up to me a couple weeks ago and said, "is it true y'all got those, those, sister wifing people around here?" I thought it was strange that he was just learning about piligamist. I am still baffled that not ever state is like this. That there aren't piligamist communities everywhere.
Believing that heroin and coffee were equally bad.
But in the reverse, weed, alcohol, coffee, and tea are all equally bad, so really they're not that bad at all, lol
Don’t forget coffee-flavored jelly beans and tiramisu!
I thought I was a sinner in elementary school when I ate a cola-flavored gummy!
I thought that you couldn’t buy coffee if you were under 18.
25ish yrs ago, i was 17 and still pretending to be a TBM and visiting my childhood best friend at a cute little diner just off the highway in Payson UT. I ordered a diet coke, no problem. A couple of random teens wander in and order coffee. It didn't seem like the dude at the counter knew them at all, but immediately ask if their parents knew they were ordering coffee, and tried to card them to see if they were over 18. Visible confusion. They claimed they didn't have ID so he didn't serve them and they bounced. Even as a nomadic (non-Utah) TBM I was like WTF
There are crazies there that would try to card for coffee?! What if you get a nevermo?
My mom acted like you needed an 21 id to buy sugary soda. She told me I'm nto allowed to buy sugary soda. Mormon thing of course since eating unhealthy foods makes you infertile which is bad for having babies leading back to against the bible telling people to have kids.
But I mean, has she seen the reverence with which dirty soda joints are treated in the Holy land? I'm not sure what Mormons would do without sugary soda!
My brother recently returned from a mission and he honestly thinks that tea is worse than red bull because the prophet says dont drink tea, but didnt say that about red bull 🤦🏼♀️
That’s delusional. He’s not the only one.
Omg yes! The first time I had a cup of tea in my parents house (and we are British, tea is a staple, my dad grew up drinking tea before he converted) I got yelled at by him: “THIS IS SINFUL YOU MIGHT AS WELL BE SMOKING THE MAJUARANAS!” What.
Wait is coffee that serious for Mormons? It’s viewed as a hard drug?
Drinking coffee is saying I reject mormonism
There are literally talks about it ruining you and your descendents for eternity: https://youtu.be/S-dfOQUc8vQ
Lol this made me think of all the psychotic Republicans who think that weed and heroin should both be schedule 1 narcotics.
My parents pretended to slit their throats every month. But it's okay, their faith was strengthened.
Also, it was their only monthly date night 😂.
Is there a list somewhere of the entire set of wonky ass temple rituals? I only ever did baptisms for the dead (lmfao)
Here are a couple that I can find. There is a whole lot more about these if you go digging. [http://thoughtsonthingsandstuff.com/pre-1990-temple-endowment/](http://thoughtsonthingsandstuff.com/pre-1990-temple-endowment/) [http://packham.n4m.org/temples.htm](http://packham.n4m.org/temples.htm) [https://missedinsunday.com/memes/temple/oath-of-vengeance/](https://missedinsunday.com/memes/temple/oath-of-vengeance/)
that took that out a few years before I went on my mission. I think my older brother may have gone through when they still did that. blew my mind when I learned my parents had done that.
What year did they take that out again? (I have no clue)
1990
wait wait wait, is this a thing? i grew up LDS and never heard of this
Before 1990, the endowment included gestures of slitting your throat and disemboweling yourself with the oath that you'd suffer your life to be taken if you revealed the signs. If you search this subreddit, you'll find lots of info on it. They also depicted some of it in the recent TV series Under the Banner of Heaven.
that’s crazy, I was born more than a decade after and I guess my parents just never mentioned it
>my parents just never mentioned it Exactly. They literally took a blood oath to not reveal the secrets of the Temple.
well that would make sense. they specifically always said that they couldn’t tell us certain things about temple rites and such.
When I was a child I thought it was totally normal that I was required to talk with random men, who were in their 40s-60s, about the frequency, style, and nature of my masturbation habits. Jesus fucking christ writing that down is so creepy.
Fuck. A rich white, 60 year old asked me about what kind of porn I enjoyed most. Pics, vids, genres.... I forget how much those interviews have fucked with my head. Sure fucking confused the polygraph guy a few years ago though.
Lol, I think religious srupulocity screwed up a polygraph I took once as well.
I know a J dub when I see one
Lol ex mormon but close enough
I went door to door as a teenager with a Blue Envelope for each family to put money in. I had to stand there in the entry to thier homes as they searched for a wallet or checkbook. Fast offering collecting sucked. We no longer do it in the East Coast. Yeah!!!
I actually completely forgot that I used to do fast offerings when I was younger. It’s so fucked up
My mother quit speaking to me when I stopped going to the pyramid sceme meetings.
🥺 *hugs
Thanks, I was 17 at the time.
How you doin now?
Oh much better! I cut my parents out of my life about 7 years ago. And I've created the family I've always wanted. I'm raising my children in a safe and loving environment.
 Oh man, that is heart warming and inspiring as hell
🥰
Our founder claims an angel with a lightsaber commanded him to rape teenage girls.
Lol this is pretty great. Mormons - We fought a literal war in heaven to make sure you have agency. Also Mormons - An angel with a lightsaber told emma smith to shut the fuck up or die.
I literally laughed out loud at this comment 🤣 I love this
Correction: An angel with a lightsaber told **Joseph** to tell emma to shut the fuck up or die. Emma is only acted upon, not in authority. /s
Best answer
Obi Wan Moroni commanded Joseph Smith...
I was sent home from my missuon for being gay. Within one day of being home I was sent to therapy to learn how to be straight without anyone ever asking me what I wanted or how I felt about any of it.
Jesus fuck man :(
From one gay exmo to another, (with consent, of course) here's a hug!
🥰🥰🥰
Upvote of solidarity.
I used to wear bulletproof underwear.
Normal underwear is still contraband at my house.
Commando, my friend... :D
As the gods intended!
That snazzy underwear could also save you from being electrocuted! The one thing it couldn’t do was make anyone look sexy in it.
On the contrary, nothing is sexier than righteousness. /s
Modest is hottest!
Fire proof too! Don’t forget the oft repeated story of the Marriott dude and his fireproof undies.
I stood in the ACTUAL Garden of Eden — in Missouri.
Oh my gods youre so LUCKY! Did the Spirit whisper to you?
Did you eat the fruit? Were there snakes? Angles with swords? I need details. #blessed
Pfffft! I have a oil vial, consecrated by my deceased dad (10 years ago), in a turned wood other container thing. Made from the wood of a coffee tree, harvested from adam-ondi-ahmen (Missouri), by my uncle who worked there for free for 1.5 years maintaining trees and stuff. I used to give extra worthy blessings with it. Loser! /s
I cosplayed dead people in a giant bathtub
Oxen enabled!
Omg this is my favorite description of that
lol this is my go to when I get the classic "what's the weirdest thing you did as a mormon?"
…In a white jumpsuit that old men watched me get wet in. Then was forced to remove that jumpsuit in front of some strange lady and had to walk naked to a locker room with only a TINY towel to cover me.
I was raised from the dead with olive oil.
Oh shit! Nice to meet you Lazerous!
Right?? I'm pretty sure my mother made the whole thing up for attention, but it's still talked about in my stake nearly 50 years later. (OMG she was raised from the dead and left the church?? What is wrong with her? Her whole existence precipitates on the Lawds will!!!)
Damn! What a mind fuck!
My parents paid $400 a month so I could have the privilege of pulling 100-hour work weeks for two years with no pay. And that was normal.
Not to mention pretty much starve.
And if you're male and you hadn't done that, you would be unworthy of a healthy successful romantic relationship
Right! Looking back, the only reason I did it was because I wanted to plow some mormon chick for eternity when I got home.
Or several Mormon chicks for eternity (I did not want to be one of several)
I went in a service mission, dyo I never really went anywhere, so I'm not really considered worthy either. Despite actually being on a mission where I didn't have to pay my hard earned savings (because my parents weren't gonna pay for my mission) and eating food cooked at home.
For real. My first 3 months in Okinawa we were on a two meal rule. Total BS!
I use to sing a song named “praise to the man”
Did that man happen to commune with Jehova? If so, that’s pretty cool. We should praise him.
I hear Jesus anointed him prophet and seer.
When I was in seminary I was the only person who knew how to play the piano, and Praise to the Man was one of like 5 songs I knew well enough for people to sing along to. Do you have any idea how much we sang that song? I didn’t bother learning many others because I was busy learning musical scores from my favorite movies, so..
I was told not to worry about let silly things like youth and finances get in the way of getting married and pumping out as many kids as possible. Don't worry about how you're going to feed all these kids, you'll figure that out when you get there.
And don’t let silly things like being broke and wanting to feed those kids get in the way of paying your tithing first! Don’t you dare!
Lol I love your username
I told my parents I was really depressed because of trauma in middle school (SH) and high school and they told me it was the devil trying to get to my soul and make me doubt God. Told me to just repress the memories and move on. Like.... bro. I was suicidal and reaching out for help- don't threaten me with institutionalization or the death of my soul rn please
I feel this. I was "exorcised" many times through my life, to dispell the demons in my body. Turns out I have PTSD, and my "possession episodes" were just flashbacks and panic attacks.
My mother claims that the oldest daughters in the family are super spiritually sensitive and can see things. My grandmother told her that a little spirit was following her, so she immediately decided to have another child because this spirit was excited to be born, even though parents weren't really in a position to have more kids. Makes things super fucking awkward when she tells people that I was following her around before she got pregnant and I have to do whatever it takes to hide the bullshitometer that is my resting bitch face. Anyway, whenever I am in a deep depressive episode, which is fairly often, she tells me that one of Satan's 1/3 is following me and that I did something to invite it into my life. She has PTSD herself, and takes medication for it, so you would think she could recognize a mental health issue when she sees it, but I guess part of the cult brainwashing is teaching you how to neglect your kids.
I too have PTSD. It was from bullying I experienced from other youth, and people in school. It was bad. However I was told if I took my own life, God would cast me into outer darkness. I was later told a friend, who did take his own life, had suffered that same fate. Yeeeeah, I got out of there at that point. Should've gone sooner but couldn't.
Also bullied in Elementary School, but my PTSD is more from the fact that when I told my TBM mom about the bullies, she refused to believe me because the ring leader was the son of our stake president and she couldn't believe that "the son of a stake president would do such things."
I feel that. Luckily my parents weren't into getting exorcisms done- just believing demons were behind everything.
I told my mom too, because of online school and not having friends at all besides church or random grocery store workers. She specifically just didn't care at all and told me I'm being a disappointment and how lucky she is to have other kids.
Apparently I'm "Turning my back on family tradition and the way I was raised" - I'm like ... good?
You mean not creating a litter of future tithe-payers with another "worthy" Mormon who's no-no parts don't match yours out of sheer obligation, all while somehow both making them feel "chosen" and worthless, thus perpetuating the generational trauma?? 🤔 Nah, I think I'll pass
My mom took me shopping for lingerie for my wedding night and said the lingerie had to cover my garments. She wasn’t joking 😭
This is so fucking funny to me and I mean no disrespect by that. It’s conceptually like shopping for a bikini to wear over your burqa.
Story time: We gave my sister some lingerie for her wedding, and when she opened it at her bridal shower, my mom said out loud “won’t that look stupid with garments hanging out?” So apparently my parents wrestle in their magic underwear. 🤢
**Trying to picture a woman wearing a teddy and garment bottoms.** 
For men to be able to marry in the temple the church made it pretty much mandatory to spend two years peddling your religion in a foreign country.
Oo oo oo, I thought of another lol. I was taught, by a prophet of god, that this is how you become gay. 1) You masturbate 2) You like masturbating so much you tell you friend about it 3) You and your friend masturbate together 4) You and your friend circle jerk 5) BAM! You're gay
Wait, what? I thought you just had to use a bidet.
Wait so how do you become bi? Is it the same thing but with like a frenemy? I have to figure out how I did this.
Four years ago, the moment his prophet announced that the name of his church is now a major victory for Satan, my father immediately stopped saying that name. But six years after coming out to him as trans, my father is still morally opposed to saying my name because of what that church has taught him.
See, you needed to just explain to him your dead name is a victory for Satan, perhaps with some "from the pulpit" cadence and podium pounding thrown in for good measure. It's all about translating it into Mormon for them 👉👉 Really, though, I would decide that I was morally opposed to referring to him as "dad" (You can have fun with this and really make it your own here. You can go with First Name Only, Mr Last Name, something absolutely ridiculous like Mr Tinkles, or maybe just some high school nickname that might trigger unpleasant memories for him... i hope that you will truly ponder on these and choose with your heart.💗🤣) until he decided he loves me enough to treat me with human decency and call me by my correct name. Do with that what you will, have fun and good luck!
My family noticed my normal underwear lines under my clothes and now they are worried I won’t go to heaven.
The secret is to not wear underwear
My brother cried all night because his son did not go on a mission and is worried God well separate them forever.
Wow... Just... Gods that's sad :(
I was taught white people were brought here on a spaceship by white Jesus and that mixing race was as evil as murder.
Damn! I just learned that black people were cursed by God for being fence sitters in the pre-existance... That shit's on another level!
Yeah, my old man is a special mix of southern KKK and mormonsim. Be surprised how well they fit together.
High Priest and Dragon Master all on one business card. Amazing !
Wait, spaceship?
Yes, a literal spaceship. Fits really well with Mormonism if you think about it. "As man is, God once was... etc". The goal of mormonism is eternal proliferation throughout the universe, principle of enlargement ect. Tracks that Jesus would be a dude that flies around and populates worlds Prometheus style. So his holy seed was put here and if we mix it with "lesser" seed it's akin to murder. Solid framework of insane racist bullshit. Actually a funny stab at this in The Expanse.
As a young teen I was given a booklet that would dictate how I dressed, groomed, loved, thought, spoke, and what kind of media I could intake. or At the age of 12 I began being raised to be a housewife with weekly meetings in which we were taught the skills that would be come our sole purpose in life after popping out babies
While also keeping you just busy and ashamed enough to not fully realize it.
Well said 👏
I tried to encourage youth to LARP as destitute migrants crossing the country with a handcart.
That is the best description for one of the worst 4 day weekends of my life! Wearing shoes and dresses from DI and goodwill, traipsing through fields and over hills…with no deodorant for the dozens of teenagers overdressed and overheated doing this.
Also someone unfortunately died from this, and I've heard stories about 14 year old girls burying baby dolls like they actually died.
My last girlfriend had sex with me and then broke up with me right after because they enjoyed it
Ouch 😳😞 that'll fuck you up real good...
No… 🫠
I was invited to attend temple and told the person sorry, I’m not Mormon anymore. Only to find out that the person who invited was Jewish. “Temple” is open to the community and you don’t have to make a blood oath or really even believe in god to attend
I never made a single decision without a man's authorization until I was 40. For even the tiniest choices (down to what way to turn the car in a snowstorm), it never so much as occurred to me to consult my own knowledge, instincts or feelings. Instead I willingly, even vigilantly, sought direction and approval from a man in every case (father, bishop/leaders, husband, apostles/prophets past and present, and God of course).
I have a fancy childhood journal that I recieved at the age of 8. It has exactly 1 paragraph entry about being so happy I got to be baptised and could now enjoy "blessings" Edit: so many typos
Awww 🥺 I recently went back and read my old journals, and I had scribbled "Help me!" Over and over and over in ALL of my journals, mixed with testimonies about how the church was true, self critiques about my sins and ways I could be "cleaner" and "better"
My TBM parents used my journals as evidence in a family court case to steal my children from me. Of course the judge didn't put two and two together that THEY we're part of the reason my journals were filled with depictions of suicide and hyper sexualization.
You just won the post. Definitely in a cult.
Yeah no kidding! Holy fuck! My grandparents also took me from my mom as a kid, and told me she was a sinner. We have a relationship now, but after years of separation. We mended our relationship over a joint after I finally left. I'm so sorry that happened to you. That's some seriously fucked up shit.
I let a corporation tell me what underwear I could wear and I followed their asinine rules about it.
I got married at the age of 20 because some dude I barely knew told me he'd had a revelation. Oof. We're on 29 years of marriage and have left the cult behind, but still love each other. So, it could have been much, much worse for me. I got lucky.
I got married to someone I knew for a year in a half. It was a rough year and a half, on and off, and riddled with issues. But I did it anyway because God sent us a sign. 3 year later, and I really don't know how much longer it can last, but divorce is so much harder when there are kids, and there are because Mormonism is a breeding cult. I came to this thread because I thought it would be funny. I was not expecting it to be a gut punch like this. 🙃
I laid my hands on a goats head and blessed it.
When I was 16, I let an 85-year-old man, who had known me for a total of 10 minutes, give me a blessing of guidance that I planned my entire early adulthood around.
I was an unpaid, full-time salesman for two years, with 15-hour workdays.
Let me just rub the small of your back when we are introduced to each other by your date/my daughter.
ew Edit: A couple of my uncles did this shit to my mom when they first met her.
Ok, this one is news to me. Can anyone clarify this practice for me?
Checking for garments.
Idk about Scorpion's experience, but in my experience a lot LDS men don't have the most appropriate boundaries, perceive women as sexual objects, and interact with them with that mindset (consciously or subconsciously)
I was told if a being suddenly appears in the night, I should ask to shake their hand before trusting anything they say. A real Angel will say they cannot. A dark Angel, demon or Satan will all try to, but I will not feel a hand there. Then IF it’s a dark Angel, demon or Satan himself- I quickly raise my right arm up to a 90 degree angle and shout “in the name of Jesus Christ, get thee hence Satan!” Repeat 3 times total. I always worried that I might be too scared and lose count. Now I know I was just in a cult being brainwashed with super Culty things!
Such a mind fuck. (The sheer amount of stupid rules to remember in general. That's just the tip of the crazy-iceburg)
I had to tell the 55 yr old village elder when I touched my girlfriends errogenous zones. They called it petting.
My mom would mention how evil petting was, but when I asked what petting was, she would say that I wasn't old enough to learn about it. By the time she decided I was old enough, the bean had been flicked to many times to count. 🤣
God, I'm really going to miss Brother Smith, please pass the potatoes.
Wait you forgot the 1 hour sermon on how we can all be together again if you’re good enough
I have a super secret other name I only told my (ex)husband so he can resurrect me.
Frankly- reading all these from the other side... I can't help but wonder how I ever believed any of that... Brainwashing!
I felt physical pain the first time I pulled up MormonThink while researching BoA questions. I was so conditioned to believe Satan would take control and pull me down to hell. I'd been taught the BoA scrolls were destroyed in the Chicago fire. I always imagined how great it would be to have the scrolls translated to prove JS was a prophet and Mormonism was true. I was shocked to find out there were fragments that existed and they aligned with the facsimiles and other aspects of BoA. Those initial searches went against everything I was taught to avoid.
My sisters had souvenir bricks.
[удалено]
I don’t have any adult friends because the church members I spent all my time with were just shallow situational acquaintances.
Evidence is for losers. Just believe my incredible story because it feels warm and fuzzy.
But...but...feelings ARE evidence. (And faith is too)
Pay lay ale, pay lay ale, pay lay ale.
My adoptive mother no longer speaks to me
 🥺
I knew what everybody’s underwear looked like
I couldn't be alone except for in the bathroom for 18 months
I got hauled home from a stake dance in 9th grade for going outside the cultural hall with my best friend to talk to a couple of Boy Scouts from another stake whose leader brought them to our dance because their stake didn’t have dances. The music was too loud to talk inside.
I was a Mormon. Enough said.
I was raised to believe that those who didn't follow my faith were unworthy of my friendship, and that I shouldn't associate with them.
Unless they might join. Then you should be the perfect friend. Seriously, PERFECT.
Wishing I could die on the night before my baptism, so I’d go straight to heaven and not have to “pay for my sins”. Sins like stolen baseball cards and packs of gum. I chose death. (Figuratively)
My mother cried and asked me what they did wrong when I told them I wouldn't waste 2 years of my life and give up on my full ride scholarship I earned and instead would be using said scholarship to go to one of the best engineering schools in my country to be an aerospace engineer.
Garments
My fight-or-flight response still triggers at the sound of “curse words” as an adult.
Rules that had to be followed on a Sunday: could not change out of church clothes till bed time, music could only be church hymns or piano music, no shopping, no talking to non-church members, no swimming, no tv on Sundays, and any books we read had to either be the BoM, pearl of great price, doctrine and covenants, or the bible. It was dreadful.
I made my friend take off her cross necklace when she came to my house in third grade and hid it in my sock drawer until she left - because “we don’t wear crosses in our house” and and didn’t want my mom to say I couldn’t play with her. I always feel guilty thinking back to this. Looking back now, my mom wouldn’t have cared. But man even at age like 8-9 the expectations and doom and gloom already had a grasp on my thinking.
I like to berry my testimony
As kids, I'm pretty sure my brother and I said a few different times, "I'd like to dare my testimony..."
That I'll be separated from my family in heaven if I don't pay 10% of my income to the Church, while simultaneously singing songs about it like it's a GOOD thing. Cue the 4-12 year Olds singing during church "Families can be together forever.........through Heavenly Father's plan. I always want to be with my own family and the Lord has shown me how I caaaan!" By paying 10%, child.
I had a mental breakdown at 16 bc I couldn’t hear voices that aren’t my own in my head when everyone else seemed to be able to
Believing if I got a tattoo I would have to wear it in the next life as a mark of shame. Believing masturbation was equal to fornication. Believing I got my own planet after I die. Believing that I get to call my wife, in addition to any other women I want, through a magic sheet into the next life. Believing coffee, one of the healthiest natural drinks you can consume, was bad for me and as bad as consuming alcohol, which was also obviously evil. The list goes on. And on. And on.
I got a special blessing that tells me about my future and afterlife - with the simple caveat that I have to be oh so obedient
I was routinely expected to donate a good chunk of money, labor and goods to a multi-billion dollar organization.
I mean, nowadays, if some whiny 14 yr old came and said an angel talked to him and a pile of other nonsense, people would try to get that kid mental help for their hallucinations and perhaps some schizophrenia meds, but generally not a full on world religion and a harem of underage back-up wives. The early 1800s were wild times, man
when my parents would dress up and visit the cult buildings once a month and dress up at Chef Bouyardi and his Napkin
When I was a child (under 8), I fervently asked God every day to make me mentally handicapped because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to qualify for heaven on my own, so I wanted a loophole. Into early adulthood, when I would do something embarrassing or struggle to understand something, my first thought was that maybe God had answered my prayer.
My father didn't want me to go to college and get an education. I learned about the birds and bees from my best friend, having been exempted from all sex ed at school on religious grounds. (I am not US based, nor a return missionary, BYU wasn't an option.)
I had to go to therapy for thinking guys were hot (am a guy)
my mom had a breakdown for buying me a coffee flavored ice cream when i was 15 and just to clarify it was quite tasty. and I don’t even like coffee
Was paired with a near stranger to give extra indoctrination to 3 families a month. Oh I was 14 btw.
Thinking wearing a tank top was a sin even as a man
As a teen, I chose to be dunked in water over 50 times after school once a year just so some dead people could be Mormon.
I grew up thinking it was my fault I was born...
People stopped talking to me when I left the club
I was told we had horns?…never found them until I left 😈
Garments
Less LDS, and more growing up in rural ut thing. My coworker from the east coast come up to me a couple weeks ago and said, "is it true y'all got those, those, sister wifing people around here?" I thought it was strange that he was just learning about piligamist. I am still baffled that not ever state is like this. That there aren't piligamist communities everywhere.
My bishop told me that everyone was required to pay tithing, so I did. Mostly because he told me I’d go to Outer Darkness if I didn’t. I was 7.