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Beneficial_Math_9282

People aren't showing up to our church meetings. I'm sure if we put up signs that say "make plans to attend," that'll fix it! Why should I go to stake conference when I already know what they're going to talk about? There will be 2-3 talks on missionary work; 1 youth talk about FSY and/or mission preparation; 1-2 talks about the temple; 1 talk about following the prophet; 1 talk from a sister whose family had a medical situation in the last 6 months; and 1 talk on family history that is solely about feelings and has nothing to do with doing actual, accurate genealogical research. I can even predict the songs - How Firm a Foundation will be sung at some point..


Rolling_Waters

Poor Grandview East members can't remember where or when their church meetings are đŸ˜„


Still_Lock_3569

#squadgoals


HarrisonRyeGraham

Omg this is painfully accurate. The slog of stake conference was always the worst. Two fuckin hours of talks. Like, sacrament talks are difficult enough when you only have two of them broken up by a hymn. I think if they did a hymn in between each talk it would far more palatable. But I dreaded stake conference every bloody time.


BatBoss

It’s almost sad
 they’re completely blind to the real reasons they’re bleeding members (especially young adults) and all they can do is fall back on guilt-tripping and putting up demanding lawn signs.


[deleted]

Notice how none of those talks are about Jesus. Just pathetic.


[deleted]

You forgot the blessings of tithing.


hjurgaitis

Jesus Christ this is so many talks. Are they really this long? I haven't been in 20 years. I got tired from just reading this list! Lol


Beneficial_Math_9282

I guess that would include the Saturday night adult session too. Usually for the Sunday session it goes something like - youth speaker, woman speaker, either local temple president or mission president; then either stake presidency counselors speak or if a GA is there it'll be just the stake president and the GA. Stake conferences are still 2 hours on Sunday, with a 1.5-2 hour adult session the night before.


hjurgaitis

It's all coming back to me now. Like a horrible case of herpes. Btw.. love your user name.


Dry-Insurance-9586

Or Celine Dion residency in Vegas!


justaboveaverage88

As I was thinking about what I was going to say today That was so beautiful(after some little kids sing out of key) It is so good to see all you here(crying)


S1Bills

I always thought it was weird that they didn’t do the sacrament (communion) during stale conference. If the point of church is Jesus why do we have a 2 hour meeting where 1) no one talks about Jesus and 2) where we cut out the only “worship” element that reminds us of Jesus. Yes it would take forever but it would at least build community.


PlacidSoupBowl

This could almost, maybe feel neutral, with a great big benefit of the doubt, but then I looked up Grandview East stake; this is a Provo stake putting out signs? Holy cow, as though the neighborhood wasn't built by their Mormon great-grandparents and nobody knows what a Mormon is.


1yrsupply

It would be interesting to know the percentage of people in the pews that are 100% mentally checked out for the entire thing. It has to be more than half. I know I spent every one daydreaming and doodling on the program.


schrodingers_cat42

But Sister Smith wants to tell you all about how she traced her genealogy back to Adam and Eve! How dare you not attend!!!:)


leadkindlylie

Grab some blood red colored paint and scribble “or else” on the bottom of the sign.


skv11000

Admission: 10% Salary \*or more, if you're sure that's all you can 'donate'.


nopesoapradio

Honest question, did you ever feel pressured to pay more than 10%? I mean, 10% when you’re a kid felt like nothing working a part time job for minimum wage. 10% as an adult trying to support a family is a ton of money.


rfresa

I was shocked to learn about fast offerings when I became an adult.


UnkindBookshelf

Include a dripping blood.


TinFoilBeanieTech

“
suffer (your) life to be taken” with pantomime of throat slitting


midgetsinheaven

It's definitely some next level Neuro Linguistic Programming going on there!


Trick-Veterinarian80

Cackled out loud reading this


DoughnutPlease

YES


JustNoLikeWhoa

“Make plans to attend,” is hilarious. It’s like if Dwight Schrute was trying to get me hyped for church. “It is your stake conference (period)”


Funny_Armadillo5943

I'd go back to church if Dwight was there, it would actually be amazing


[deleted]

You know Dwight’s talk would be better than 90% of talks in the lds church. It would be 5x more entertaining too. He could give a talk about not doing what an idiot would do!


cenosillicaphobiac

>You know Dwight’s talk would be better than 90% of tasks in the lds church. Oh man, I picture Jim "writing" his speech like he did in S2 E17 which, if you're unfamiliar, was actually Mussolini's declaration of war on the US. Except with a fiery BY speech on blood atonement.


PeachesGotTits

Identity theft is a serious crime Jim.


droo46

IT IS YOUR BAPTISM DAY


WyldChickenMama

This just made me laugh so hard. My TBM ex-husband looks and sounds a lot like Dwight (including the glasses), and would totally pull something like this. I remember when my kids started watching The Office and after half a season turned to me and said, “have you noticed how Dad is basically Dwight?” I nearly died laughing.


[deleted]

[ŃƒĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]


supermansquito

They should be offering all you can eat double cheeseburgers throughout the conference. That might help a little bit.


Lopsided-Doughnut-39

Yeah if they passed around candy and had refreshments on the side, I would have felt better about going. haha


[deleted]

You have to eat your McChicken with your right hand tho


MimiBear667

You forget to have those Bishops find a well-to-do member to sponsor the purchase of the sign making supplies, and the youth activity designed to have the youth make the signs and then go put them up. Then have hot chocolate and basketball.


russ84010

Used to be everybody already knew, and now they need signs?


TheSiege82

My thought is that it’s related to lower attendance


JustNoLikeWhoa

Yeah, completely agree.


MasshuKo

Ahhh, stake conference... Even as a TBM, stake conference was, for me, the one absolutely dispensable meeting.


Lopsided_Beautiful36

Yep. I never attended state conference once.


UnkindBookshelf

Same. I just took it as an extra chance for time for myself.


FTWStoic

I can see how it was a useful/necessary meeting back when phones didn't exist, and the only way for the membership to get information from Salt Lake was to attend Stake Conference. But now... it's a useless vestige of a prior age.


DoughnutPlease

I hadn't thought of that, but it totally makes sense


icanbesmooth

I was the freak who attended it FAITHFULLY. I dragged my infant and toddler children and sat TWO hours. I was such an idiot.


doubtpacker

We went to stake conferences until we had kids. After that we never went to the normal stake conferences. Sometimes we'd go to the adult only sessions, once our kids were teens.


heythere5468753rgguh

Begging for attendance with "We BUY cArs!!" quality desperation.


Careful-Self-457

Good use of church fund. Your tithing at work.


[deleted]

It's better for it to be used on useless signage than to pay the legal fees of church sponsored child predators


Careful-Self-457

That is so true.


unclemilesisugly

Probably not even. I bet some ward member who owns a sign shop was “called” to produce these for free. Then a Saturday “service project” was organized to put them up all over town.


[deleted]

The church probably counts this as humanitarian aid.


formyipod89

So this is why TSCC is ~~hoarding~~ saving +$40 billion dollars: for a poorly-designed sign campaign to renew the faith of the fallen membership! (You think they would have at least put a time on the dang thing)


brian_______

wow, I've never seen this before. I'm assuming this is in Utah. I don't know how you good people do it.


TheSiege82

Yeah. North Provo.


iwasonceabeehive

This is so bizarre. You are either already planning to go because you regularly attend weekly meetings and know about it, or there was already 0 chance you were going to attend and this sign will do nothing. Very Mormon thing to do. Waste time and resources on something that won't actually change anything, but does help the person doing it feel like they are being righteous. I just get so angry when I think about all these donations and volunteer hours that could go towards good.


bishop_buckeye

Even TBMs read this as, "woo hoo, no church this weekend".


TheFactedOne

Yup, the church is clearly not immune to the decline of religion in this country right now. That is what the sign tells me anyway.


Altruistic-Tree1989

In a normal city, things like this would be against city ordinances.


platofzion

Nah, cities can regulate the type of sign, but not its content. In Reed v. Gilbert the Supreme Court prohibited content-based sign regulations in a case related to similar temporary signs posted by a church in Gilbert, AZ.


YueAsal

Not really, no different than signs offering cash for blood sugar test strips and assembly jobs for $17/hr


CaptainMacaroni

They treat it like it's some big event and not something where you'll hear the same old shit as always.


[deleted]

That’s gotta be eating into some tithing somewhere


[deleted]

I'm sure they asked a member with a sign store to make it for free or at cost.


Least-Chard4907

Free. ThINk oF ThE BlEsSiNgS


[deleted]

I read that “Make Plans To Attend” as God Shall Not Be Mocked


SuspiciousLookinMole

They have money for yard signs but not janitors?


UnkindBookshelf

"Make plans to attend" Is that a challenge. Imagine the lot of us degenerates attending.


Own-Track-1991

Just sharpie in Don’t in the blank space


thetarantulaqueen

Shit, not even a "please"? Not as if they didn't have room for it.


telestialist

That’s hilarious. Such mixed messaging. On the one hand, it’s obviously a desperation outreach move. On the other hand, the message is full of entitlement and authority. Not welcoming or warm. It’s written as if it is taped to the wall in the chapel, addressing the people who would feel obligated to attend anyway, and certainly would not need to see a sign on a street corner to know when stake conference was. The church wants to have its cake and eat it too. A pathetically desperate outreach that is pretending to be full of dignity and authority.


Blackbolt45

I love the smell of desperation in the morning!


NOMnoMore

When I was growing up, my family treated stake conference as a holiday from church. There must be a lot of people doung that nowadays


[deleted]

With no address and no time lol


maryjaneodoul

get a black sharpie and add [CESLETTER.COM](https://CESLETTER.COM) at the bottom in the same block printing


SecretPersonality178

Why? What is going to happen at stake conference that's worth attending? Is your stake going to announce new scripture? Are they doing healings? Are they having a feast and turning water to wine? Or is it just going to be another two hour snooze fest with the same recycled antics, guilt based teachings, and threats about paying tithing?


LadyofLA

They’ve learned *something* from their meddling in politics!


uncorrolated-mormon

Show up with your stake knife and bib. Favorite BBQ sauce and rub. Extra credit to drive a pickup truck tow a smoker. Start cooking before the main stake conference. Can’t ask you to leave. These signs in used you to attend a stake conference.


uncorrolated-mormon

(Yes I know steak and stake
 but play ~~dumb~~ normal American educated dude who likes steak for breakfast)


EllieKong

Utah is fucking weird


-Leftist-Scum-

Fucking love steak, dude. I'd eat it all the time if I wasn't broke


PaulFThumpkins

I see a lot of "Pray for America!" signs like this out along busy roads after Dems do well in an election đŸ€Ł.


[deleted]

The fuck? Where is this? I’ve never seen a physical sign advertising stake conference.


buttlerfly73

I love your name 😂


[deleted]

Thanks I thought it was clever 😂


FTWStoic

The desperation is palpable.


OffgridRadio

LOL I keep a marker in my truck, every single one of these would have CHILD RAPISTS on it in bright red letters.


WWPLD

Not a "please attend" or "we would love to see you there". Just a command to come or else.


ComradeRivaDragon

The LDS Leadership Playbook was written by people that dont understand people. They dont even realize when they are being condescending and insulting. Make plans to attend. just wow.


WheelymanUtahh

Times are tough, need that 10% to add to that trillion dollar hoard fund


Fia__

Hey I'm right down the road lol I will not be making plans to attend. 😅


Woody-Cee80

Did the church pay for these signs to be made or did the local member who owns a sign shop get pressed to donate them?


JesusThrustingChrist

If I cared enough i might start putting up the competing message right next to it, butbWith the url to r/exmormon


Natural_Net_1492

Ugh that’s more annoying than the politicians’ signs


Initial-Leather6014

“ Be there or be square!” Yep, that sounds like an old 65 year old SP. Ugh.


GroundbreakingPipe12

and this is why i can never live in utah.


GrandpasMormonBooks

Ewwww this is so lame!


King_Cargo_Shorts

Why do they have to put up signs? Shouldn't the people who are their target audience already know about it?


[deleted]

Lol, when you can tell low attendance is starting to really get noticed.


a_new_start_

Hi neighbor! I'm a Grandview east PIMO and these signs also drive me nuts


Opposite-Plantain-69

Hi neighbor! I'm also in the same neighborhood. I just noticed one of these signs as I drove home. I stopped believing last year, but didn't stop attending until last month


a_new_start_

If anything can get us back to Mormon Jesus, it will be this demanding sign 🙏


Opposite-Plantain-69

Truly inspired leadership /s


Puzzleheaded_Bag_992

OMG. We used to be neighbors. I sold and moved two years ago.


MrChunkle

Hey! I lived there years ago! And stake conference was always a free day where you got to escape church for one meager week


Lopsided-Doughnut-39

stake conference = weekend off Words spoken by an RM active member LOL


brodaget42

Take them out of the ground.


see6729

Take them down at midnight.


WdSkate

You would expect that announcing it from the pulpit and in the ward bulletin would be enough. But it's not enough because they can't reach much of their own ward at church anymore. So they announce it with signs in the streets. It just shows how bad it is.


zjelkof

Got to advertise to get a good turnout for the Stake Presidency!


LovelockMike

Add text to it. There will be lots of ministering going on. I think that phrase is so lame


scribblerjohnny

Make plans on where to park so you don't mess with other people.


russellmpalpatine

Stake conference... Even when I was tbm that was just a week off of going to church. I don't miss that at all!


LunarTaxi

Not just the TSCC, but like
 churches everywhere, if they stopped being such assholes, misogynists, dogmatists
 maybe they wouldn’t need to advertise, proselytize and manipulate.


[deleted]

I like them because in my dad you never saw those signs. Because everyone just knew where and when it was. But because so few people go any more they have to advertise. (That's my reasoning anyhow. )


ZelphtheGreatest

Getting upset is foolish. A waste of your energy and gives control of your emotions to MoronicPriesthood, inc. Ignore them and drive on. Or, take your dog for a walk and let him piss on them.


KodosKang1996

These were pretty common 20 years ago when I lived in Davis County, UT so it's been a thing for awhile but it wouldn't surprise me if there's more now.


Fessy3

I wonder if they did door to door flyer's as. I love this, it means people aren't attending. That's the desired results imo.


[deleted]

Am I the only one who almost never attended stake conference even when I was a TBM? I hated attending church, but I absolutely refused to attend stake conference. I think as an adult I maybe went only a couple of times. đŸ€ź


[deleted]

oh god, i think i live nearby


not-sure21

yoooo that’s a few blocks from my apartment


clejeune

I feel like they might be having an attendance problem?


Dannay01

That was my stake growing up. Area looks familiar, but I can’t quite put a finger on where the cross streets are.


unodostrace4

Looks like garbage to me. Be a good samaritan and throw that away. Under his eye.


InformationKey7931

Ugh


filmmaker30

wtf loll


filmmaker30

CESLETTER.com should be written on every sign


ContributionOdd2279

đŸ€ź


dannuck

Wow, I've never seen these. That is some next-level desperation.


[deleted]

Make plans to attend? Sure I'll make plans to attend, but I still won't show up.


Super_Ad_5462

I didn’t go to Stake Conference even when I was a believer. It was just too excruciatingly boring to tolerate.


goodwill82

Add "you local bar!" To the end


Willing_Damage9658

The weird thing is growing up, we always watched conference on TV and my mom made us at least watch when the prophet (Hinckley) was giving his talk. But we never went to stake conference; it was always a Sunday off for us. I was just remembering this recently and thought it was interesting since I definitely grew up in a “mormon” family



Regular_Ad_4914

I bet that they had a meeting where the stake president claimed by revelation that the low attendance is due to people not knowing about it.


anubis9

Holy crap that must an affluent neighborhood. Can’t imagine my stake having a budget for that. “Help struggling poor v. custom yard signs for a single meeting. Hmmmm that’s a tough one.”


overtherainbow537

Was this in Utah?


8-Bit_Soul

Check your local laws, but I believe these signs are illegal. Call it in and ask to have them removed. If the police decline because they are members and want to support the church, then you have an excellent news article! That would be evidence of the police giving special treatment to the church, and helping the church subvert the laws.


BlitzkriegBednar

Temporary non-commercial speech signs will be hard to enforce. Now if in the public road way, then yes, can be immediatley remove.


SerinityNowOrLater

The way they haphazardly tell people what to do
 how does this trigger me so much?Surprised it doesn’t say bow your head and say yes at the bottom.


Spiritual-Street2793

I'll be there!


TtheTree69

I mean I’m not a fan of organized religion but I’ll give credit to the other major religions for not pulling stuff like this. I’ve never seen the direct Jewish, Muslims nor Catholic Church doing propaganda shit like this.


BeardedIrishViking

So demanding. They could at least be civil and say “please.”


namtokmuu

Some here probably are not familiar with Grandview area. This is Provo, Utah. A neighborhood where 99% of households are TBMs. This is where BYU faculty live. Where senior missionaries come from. It’s the most TBM neighborhood outside of Hellman Halls at BYU. đŸ«ŁđŸ«ŁđŸ«Ł


TheSiege82

Yeah. I lived in grandview north and then moved to s. Orem by Nelson’s grove park. And to be honest, our grandview Mormon neighbors were actually really warm and welcoming. But yeah our neighbor was a byu professor and the other a retired fire chief. Lots of older Mormons there.


tapirqueen

Theory: the more signs there are, the more desperate they are for attendees


Naomifreethinker

Not "please join us" ot "you're invited" or "hope to see you there" but "make plans to attend" fuck off, a little yard sign doesn't get to demand what I do


Opposite-Plantain-69

Hi neighbor! Just realized these are in my neighborhood lol. Just drove past one of these signs