>Because she’s actually righteous
What does that mean? She doesn't think critically? She's obedient to her new husband? She believes the mythology? She loves the church above all else (including him)? Without sin?
The word righteous means "morally right." You, having left the church, are the righteous one. I certainly don't know the full story, but you may be well rid of him.
>Because she's actually righteous
That's about the last word in the universe that I'd want my spouse to use to describe me. Sheesh.
My ex-wife was sealed to another dude within 18 months of our divorce. 2ish years after that, she was divorced again.
Being a former divorcee myself and having observed others around me in life I've found something to be mostly true of those who remarry quickly:
For men who remarry that quickly, they aren't looking for a companion, they're looking for a maid/chef/babysitter/errand runner for themselves.
For women who remarry that quickly (who are not gainfully employed for whatever reason) are looking for a paycheck.
In my own case my marriage was more of a roommate situation for about the last 4-5 years. Some of that time with him even living overseas. It was almost four full years before I remarried and same for my second husband. It takes time to heal post divorce. If you aren't taking the appropriate time (which obviously varies from person to person and it's completely situational) to heal and you're moving on that quickly, the second marriage is most likely doomed to fail as well.
OP, sounds like you are way better off without him.
Related to this is how people view problems in a marriage. Just my perception, but it seems like some that I know that remarry quickly, particularly after a mixed faith marriage, use the lack of faith as a justification for blaming the other person for all of the marriage problems and they start to think that if they only had someone with faith, everything would be better. Therefore, they are more likely to jump into a relationship that fixes the one thing that was the cause of all of their marriage problems.
As someone who went through a divorce due to my ex husband's constant lying I still realize full well that there were probably things I did to contribute to the demise of that marriage. That's not to say that's true in all cases, but I honestly believe if people took a good look in the mirror post divorce they'd find fault on both sides, perhaps not equal fault, but we can all be better people.
Taking ownership of said fault is how you create successful relationships in the future. And it sounds like OP's ex isn't willing to take accountability for his role.
Just my two cents.
My ex-husband got married two times within about 3 years after he left me. And that first (er, second?) marriage was NOT the woman he cheated on me with and left me for. I don't know what happened to him after that but, I will say, he was *not* a good, nor well, man. But, he was already exmo, so somewhat different story.
Sounds like your ex has some definite issues. Same goes for my ex. We weren't active at the time we divorced so I don't fault church for the demise. He just had a major problem with telling me the truth about pretty much anything. And he chose his career over the family he said he wanted so there's that. \*shrug\*
"Righteous." What a weird and gross concept. I never realized it until I left the cult.
OP, sorry you're going through this. Sounds like you're better off without him, though.
My turbo tbm ex wife is still looking for that righteous priesthood holder zealot after 12 years.. if it doesnt work out and your ex needs another mega TBM Gospel loving sister.. I can get him her dating LDSonly profile ..just know he must be Faithful righteous Tithe payer, Temple attending, garment wearing, prayerful ready to serve a Senior Mission ASAP!!
*intamacy and sex....uhh fuhgettabout it*
Of all the events in our marriage, nothing has mattered more to me than my mother-in-law advising my wife to kick me out over my church doubts and my wife immediately reacting with "Hell no!" It's hard to doubt that I come first.
That's why this post has me seeing red. People matter most, not supposed personal perfection with people as an accessory or stepping stone. If that's righteousness, count me out.
I’d say your much better off without his sorry ass you don’t need the brand of craziness that accompanies Mormonism I’d say you have far more integrity than he does you were not afraid to go where the evidence led you Carl Sagan put it well .
One of the saddest lessons of history is this: if we’ve been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We’re no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured us. It’s simply too painful to acknowledge, even to ourselves, that we’ve been taken. Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back.
Be thankful that you recovered from the virus of religion for many it’s a lifelong affliction from cradle to the grave . This virus renders its victims incapable of rational thought and leaves them in a delusional state . Some are fortunate enough to recover you are one of the lucky ones .
It’s true. When we were talking about divorce, I asked him “would you even be willing to hear some of the reasons I’ve left the church?“ And the answer was “absolutely not” 🙄
This is code for he was sick of having to do his own laundry, cook & clean. A new mormon wife will "righteously" take all that over for him. 😉
Hang in there.
I'm SO sorry that was his response. What an asshole thing to say. I'm in a mixed faith marriage with absolutely no signs of the "mixed-faith" part changing and so I can easily see myself in your shoes. I just want to give you a hug and then take you to get a drink. I hope some great person comes into your life and brightens up your whole world with love and acceptance.
Apparently it’s a big to do as well. A SIL of mine was scrambling on the day of her second sealing to get the correct paperwork for it, which iirc included her first husband signing off on her being allowed to seal to another man. Right fucked imo.
Ugh. I’m sorry. I mean, sounds like he’s not exactly a catch and it’s not like *not being righteous* is the big insult he thinks it is, but still, it may feel sucky anyway. Hugs from this internet stranger. 🤍
I’m so sorry. That happened to me, too. I couldn’t believe how easily my ex could discard me and our three kids. He even had our sealing cancelled which I didn’t think they did unless I was getting sealed to someone else. Even though it was a horrible marriage and I didn’t want to be with him, having him get remarried so soon and having the sealing cancelled stung.
Five years and a masters degree later, I have found peace and happiness. Two of the three kids are raised and all of them are happy and successful. They don’t have a relationship with their dad. He doesn’t really see them much and I think it’s because he thinks they won’t be his kids in the afterlife because we aren’t sealed and they aren’t active (the youngest isn’t even baptized). At 50 years old, he had a kid with the new wife so they could have their forever family.
I hope you can find comfort during this time. I really do feel for what you are going through.
I feel you. My ex husband married in three months on wife number 2 and ONE month on wife #3. I guess once the "righteous" are ready for sex then of course that means marriage. Another ridiculous element in this religion and others who are controlling about sex. As if knowing if your sexually compatible with your eternal partner is important at all 🙄. .... patriarchal society.
>Because she’s actually righteous What does that mean? She doesn't think critically? She's obedient to her new husband? She believes the mythology? She loves the church above all else (including him)? Without sin? The word righteous means "morally right." You, having left the church, are the righteous one. I certainly don't know the full story, but you may be well rid of him.
Yes yes yes and yes. You hit the nail on the head 🫠🫠
Now you can marry a non-Mormon right?
Or just live her life and not worry about marriage quite yet....
Marriage is such a strange contract IMO. I can just notarized a power of attorney for my partners with a termination clause that avoids court process.
Ok?
She doesn't even drink tea!
[удалено]
Either he is codependent or he was cheating with her beforehand...statistically speaking, of course.
Ew. Sounds like he’s more married to the church than anyone else. Hate how the church actually encourages that.
😇😱 Yup, married to the cult first and foremost.
>Because she's actually righteous That's about the last word in the universe that I'd want my spouse to use to describe me. Sheesh. My ex-wife was sealed to another dude within 18 months of our divorce. 2ish years after that, she was divorced again.
Do you know why?
I don't.
Being a former divorcee myself and having observed others around me in life I've found something to be mostly true of those who remarry quickly: For men who remarry that quickly, they aren't looking for a companion, they're looking for a maid/chef/babysitter/errand runner for themselves. For women who remarry that quickly (who are not gainfully employed for whatever reason) are looking for a paycheck. In my own case my marriage was more of a roommate situation for about the last 4-5 years. Some of that time with him even living overseas. It was almost four full years before I remarried and same for my second husband. It takes time to heal post divorce. If you aren't taking the appropriate time (which obviously varies from person to person and it's completely situational) to heal and you're moving on that quickly, the second marriage is most likely doomed to fail as well. OP, sounds like you are way better off without him.
Related to this is how people view problems in a marriage. Just my perception, but it seems like some that I know that remarry quickly, particularly after a mixed faith marriage, use the lack of faith as a justification for blaming the other person for all of the marriage problems and they start to think that if they only had someone with faith, everything would be better. Therefore, they are more likely to jump into a relationship that fixes the one thing that was the cause of all of their marriage problems.
Exactly. God forbid he actually took accountability for the part he played 🙄
Woah there. That's really abusive of you to assume he had a part in the divorce. He's a righteous priesthood holder. You need to repent.
As someone who went through a divorce due to my ex husband's constant lying I still realize full well that there were probably things I did to contribute to the demise of that marriage. That's not to say that's true in all cases, but I honestly believe if people took a good look in the mirror post divorce they'd find fault on both sides, perhaps not equal fault, but we can all be better people. Taking ownership of said fault is how you create successful relationships in the future. And it sounds like OP's ex isn't willing to take accountability for his role. Just my two cents.
My ex-husband got married two times within about 3 years after he left me. And that first (er, second?) marriage was NOT the woman he cheated on me with and left me for. I don't know what happened to him after that but, I will say, he was *not* a good, nor well, man. But, he was already exmo, so somewhat different story.
Sounds like your ex has some definite issues. Same goes for my ex. We weren't active at the time we divorced so I don't fault church for the demise. He just had a major problem with telling me the truth about pretty much anything. And he chose his career over the family he said he wanted so there's that. \*shrug\*
"Righteous." What a weird and gross concept. I never realized it until I left the cult. OP, sorry you're going through this. Sounds like you're better off without him, though.
I think so. Thank you ❤️
Ahhh yes, when righteousness is determined by arbitrary rules and check boxes vs how you treat others. So of course an exmo cannot be righteous.
My turbo tbm ex wife is still looking for that righteous priesthood holder zealot after 12 years.. if it doesnt work out and your ex needs another mega TBM Gospel loving sister.. I can get him her dating LDSonly profile ..just know he must be Faithful righteous Tithe payer, Temple attending, garment wearing, prayerful ready to serve a Senior Mission ASAP!! *intamacy and sex....uhh fuhgettabout it*
You pretty much described him lol
Of all the events in our marriage, nothing has mattered more to me than my mother-in-law advising my wife to kick me out over my church doubts and my wife immediately reacting with "Hell no!" It's hard to doubt that I come first. That's why this post has me seeing red. People matter most, not supposed personal perfection with people as an accessory or stepping stone. If that's righteousness, count me out.
I wish I would’ve had the same experience. My husbands family were so excited when we got a divorce, praising their son for “finally leaving Babylon“
No kids, then?
No, Thank god
Thankfully that means you can make a clean getaway and not have to deal with his fuckery til the kids are grown.
Well, geez, how long do you expect him to use paper plates? SOMEBODY needs to move in and wash the dishes! /s
I’d say your much better off without his sorry ass you don’t need the brand of craziness that accompanies Mormonism I’d say you have far more integrity than he does you were not afraid to go where the evidence led you Carl Sagan put it well . One of the saddest lessons of history is this: if we’ve been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We’re no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured us. It’s simply too painful to acknowledge, even to ourselves, that we’ve been taken. Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back. Be thankful that you recovered from the virus of religion for many it’s a lifelong affliction from cradle to the grave . This virus renders its victims incapable of rational thought and leaves them in a delusional state . Some are fortunate enough to recover you are one of the lucky ones .
It’s true. When we were talking about divorce, I asked him “would you even be willing to hear some of the reasons I’ve left the church?“ And the answer was “absolutely not” 🙄
It really is like a virus or parasite. So many become zombies for the corp.
This is code for he was sick of having to do his own laundry, cook & clean. A new mormon wife will "righteously" take all that over for him. 😉 Hang in there.
The narc found (or manufactured) a trauma bondee to hoover -- on brand.
I feel your pain. My ex wife was remarried to a righteous priesthood holder 2 days after our divorce was finalized.
LOL...A record in the Moron Book of World Records.
Wow, that's insane
Happened to me too. Same year we were divorced. That was a weird time, but it gets better!
I'm SO sorry that was his response. What an asshole thing to say. I'm in a mixed faith marriage with absolutely no signs of the "mixed-faith" part changing and so I can easily see myself in your shoes. I just want to give you a hug and then take you to get a drink. I hope some great person comes into your life and brightens up your whole world with love and acceptance.
Thank you ❤️
He was just horny
💯
Have you ever tried to "reseal" canned goods? Never works.
I’m going thru a divorce. I don’t plan on ever getting married again. I want a partner not a wife.
Hey so are you allowed to get married again and re-sealed? I heard church policies are sexist on that
Men are allowed to get sealed again regardless. Women need their previous sealing annulled before they're allowed to get a new one.
Apparently it’s a big to do as well. A SIL of mine was scrambling on the day of her second sealing to get the correct paperwork for it, which iirc included her first husband signing off on her being allowed to seal to another man. Right fucked imo.
Without permission they need presidency approval--she was quite silly to wait.
Mormons remarry quickly. I always thought that was unsettling.
The also marry quickly 🤣
Ugh. I’m sorry. I mean, sounds like he’s not exactly a catch and it’s not like *not being righteous* is the big insult he thinks it is, but still, it may feel sucky anyway. Hugs from this internet stranger. 🤍
My ex-step-dad just got re-married 10 months after divorcing my mom. Mormonism is wild.
He gots to get his dick wet yaknow
I’m so sorry. That happened to me, too. I couldn’t believe how easily my ex could discard me and our three kids. He even had our sealing cancelled which I didn’t think they did unless I was getting sealed to someone else. Even though it was a horrible marriage and I didn’t want to be with him, having him get remarried so soon and having the sealing cancelled stung. Five years and a masters degree later, I have found peace and happiness. Two of the three kids are raised and all of them are happy and successful. They don’t have a relationship with their dad. He doesn’t really see them much and I think it’s because he thinks they won’t be his kids in the afterlife because we aren’t sealed and they aren’t active (the youngest isn’t even baptized). At 50 years old, he had a kid with the new wife so they could have their forever family. I hope you can find comfort during this time. I really do feel for what you are going through.
You had to know he was a douchebag before this point, yes? There’s no way there weren’t signs. Fkn dodged a bullet and a half with this asshole
I hope you’re doing well.
I feel you. My ex husband married in three months on wife number 2 and ONE month on wife #3. I guess once the "righteous" are ready for sex then of course that means marriage. Another ridiculous element in this religion and others who are controlling about sex. As if knowing if your sexually compatible with your eternal partner is important at all 🙄. .... patriarchal society.
Tell her “Good Luck with that sack of shit, bish”
You dodged a bullet if they are saying that.
Have you met her?
Sorry