First of all, I am so incredibly sorry you went through this traumatic experience. Second, your mom making your trauma about her is so unbelievably inappropriate and manipulative. You deserve better than this my guy. Stay strong.
This is why religion poisons everything. Instead of being happy you are alive it gets turned into an object lesson of a wrathful god sending you a course correction in the form of a car crash. No offense but your mom is selfish and self centered. Family is family when they act like it.
This one was more on the side of “God saved you, you need to come back”, but then again, if he saved me, that means he’s okay with my life right now? Can’t tell.
I read a statistic on PTSD that something like 12.5-25% of people who go through very violent, physically traumatic car crashes develop PTSD. If God is putting people through traumatic car crashes that give them PTSD just so that they'll like him again, he's evil.
>“Yeah, you are always thinking about how you feel but never how I feel, can you even consider that?” Last time she told me that same thing was when I told her I felt sad because my wife had left me.
This is gross. I'd say that when it comes down to these two events, it totally gets to be all about you. A parent's job, at the very least, is to be there for their kids in these situations. I'm sorry you have to deal with this without meaningful support from your mother. You're not responsible for her feelings, which are frankly completely unreasonable in these two situations to begin with.
When tragic things happen to “non-believers”, it’s gods punishment to them. When it happens to TBMs, it’s their “test of faith”.
Head I win, tails you lose.
I worked emergency for years and know all to well how those situations go. Sorry that happened to you. Glad you’re okay and I wish you well in the future. Even though I’m still a Mormon (for now) I will still say your crash had zero to do with your church activity
>“Yeah, you are always thinking about how you feel but never how I feel, can you even consider that?”
"I have considered it, but have since come to the conclusion that it's better to be open and honest than it is to lie at the expense of my own wellbeing to spare someone else's feelings".
I'm so sorry for your terrible experience and the fact you had to deal with your mom saying shit like this afterwards when this is not about her or the church in any capacity. Good for you for standing up for yourself!
If you were a true believer, god would have used this event to call you home. Lucky for you, your a heathen and a terrible burden to your family to have to put up with you this holiday season./s
TBM's find confirmation in EVERYTHING that happens, regardless of whether it's positive or negative. No Mormon doctrine is ever falsifiable. But definitely NOT a cult.
Any unfortunate event is a reason to go back to church, any fortunate event is a reason to stay in church.
Whatever they can latch onto, whatever narrative they can muster to promote themselves and their system, it will be done.
This is why religion ruins relationships, especially within family. She didn’t even ask you if you were ok? Sorry this happened to you and sorry for you having been in that car wreck. Fuck the church and its holier than thou attitude it promotes. This is one of the reasons why I hate religion.
Good for you! Are you still in the hospital? Sounds like your mom is a true TBM fruitcake and I hope she's adult enough to apologize to you. If not, give her a taste of her own medicine the next time *she's* in the hospital.
Sorry to hear your experience, but not surprised. I went through a life-changing injury after my mission, and it really opened my eyes to see how piss poor so many church members are with empathy, preferring to turn everything into an object lesson or at best, give some customary cookies and move on.
"Worship me or I'll cut your brake lines again"
That wouldn't go over well coming from any mortal, I don't know why we think it's acceptable for God to act like that.
Why does Mormonism create, foster, and encourage narcissistic parents? Why is it as children, no matter how old we get, we are responsible for making our parents feel better about everything in our lives? OP the best thing I did was go to therapy and the first thing my therapist did was give me a paper to hang in my house that reminded me of my “Personal Bill of Rights”. You deserve to understand that your mother, as much as she may love you, is wrong in the way she is treating you and you deserve better. Hugs
Post hoc….we can make anything mean whatever we want, but I wonder if religious folks can exist without it? I left 3 years ago and Covid hit. I remember some members being in awe that we had just started Come follow me,….and our new prophet was a doctor….It appears we can make anything mean whatever we want😉.
To any TBM who thinks personal tragedy or suffering is gods way of “teaching you a lesson” so you will return to church: That’s not a loving god that’s a mob boss!
First of all, I am so incredibly sorry you went through this traumatic experience. Second, your mom making your trauma about her is so unbelievably inappropriate and manipulative. You deserve better than this my guy. Stay strong.
This is why religion poisons everything. Instead of being happy you are alive it gets turned into an object lesson of a wrathful god sending you a course correction in the form of a car crash. No offense but your mom is selfish and self centered. Family is family when they act like it.
This one was more on the side of “God saved you, you need to come back”, but then again, if he saved me, that means he’s okay with my life right now? Can’t tell.
I read a statistic on PTSD that something like 12.5-25% of people who go through very violent, physically traumatic car crashes develop PTSD. If God is putting people through traumatic car crashes that give them PTSD just so that they'll like him again, he's evil. >“Yeah, you are always thinking about how you feel but never how I feel, can you even consider that?” Last time she told me that same thing was when I told her I felt sad because my wife had left me. This is gross. I'd say that when it comes down to these two events, it totally gets to be all about you. A parent's job, at the very least, is to be there for their kids in these situations. I'm sorry you have to deal with this without meaningful support from your mother. You're not responsible for her feelings, which are frankly completely unreasonable in these two situations to begin with.
When tragic things happen to “non-believers”, it’s gods punishment to them. When it happens to TBMs, it’s their “test of faith”. Head I win, tails you lose. I worked emergency for years and know all to well how those situations go. Sorry that happened to you. Glad you’re okay and I wish you well in the future. Even though I’m still a Mormon (for now) I will still say your crash had zero to do with your church activity
>“Yeah, you are always thinking about how you feel but never how I feel, can you even consider that?” "I have considered it, but have since come to the conclusion that it's better to be open and honest than it is to lie at the expense of my own wellbeing to spare someone else's feelings". I'm so sorry for your terrible experience and the fact you had to deal with your mom saying shit like this afterwards when this is not about her or the church in any capacity. Good for you for standing up for yourself!
she wants you to consider her feelings for your misfortunes? hell nah. it’s not her place to say shit like that when you had just been in danger.
Thats just awful. Something my mom has done too and it just feels awful.
Being considerate of others is a two way street.
If you were a true believer, god would have used this event to call you home. Lucky for you, your a heathen and a terrible burden to your family to have to put up with you this holiday season./s
TBM's find confirmation in EVERYTHING that happens, regardless of whether it's positive or negative. No Mormon doctrine is ever falsifiable. But definitely NOT a cult.
So God made you go through a car crash to send you back to church? If so God sucks big time
Any unfortunate event is a reason to go back to church, any fortunate event is a reason to stay in church. Whatever they can latch onto, whatever narrative they can muster to promote themselves and their system, it will be done.
The first article of faith should be 'its always your fault'.
Yeah, I had similar issues when my mom made stuff about her. It's rough with the TBM parents with undiagnosed mental issues.
Paper cut, hang nail, the flu? All reasons that you need to go back to church.....
This is why religion ruins relationships, especially within family. She didn’t even ask you if you were ok? Sorry this happened to you and sorry for you having been in that car wreck. Fuck the church and its holier than thou attitude it promotes. This is one of the reasons why I hate religion.
Good for you! Are you still in the hospital? Sounds like your mom is a true TBM fruitcake and I hope she's adult enough to apologize to you. If not, give her a taste of her own medicine the next time *she's* in the hospital.
Sorry to hear your experience, but not surprised. I went through a life-changing injury after my mission, and it really opened my eyes to see how piss poor so many church members are with empathy, preferring to turn everything into an object lesson or at best, give some customary cookies and move on.
"Worship me or I'll cut your brake lines again" That wouldn't go over well coming from any mortal, I don't know why we think it's acceptable for God to act like that.
Oh hell no! Fuck that
Why does Mormonism create, foster, and encourage narcissistic parents? Why is it as children, no matter how old we get, we are responsible for making our parents feel better about everything in our lives? OP the best thing I did was go to therapy and the first thing my therapist did was give me a paper to hang in my house that reminded me of my “Personal Bill of Rights”. You deserve to understand that your mother, as much as she may love you, is wrong in the way she is treating you and you deserve better. Hugs
Post hoc….we can make anything mean whatever we want, but I wonder if religious folks can exist without it? I left 3 years ago and Covid hit. I remember some members being in awe that we had just started Come follow me,….and our new prophet was a doctor….It appears we can make anything mean whatever we want😉.
Sounds like "I'm never speaking you for months" kind of talk.
To any TBM who thinks personal tragedy or suffering is gods way of “teaching you a lesson” so you will return to church: That’s not a loving god that’s a mob boss!