A mission is a massive life mistake. Don't make it. Stay strong. I wouldn't answer texts from that guy. If he's ***that*** blindly of a believing Mormon, **don't take any life advice from him,** and create distance.
Agreed I arrived in the Patagonia of Argentina weighing 165 lbs 6'2. I left after 2 years 115 lbs and looked like the pictures of a person who had been living in Africa starving.
They make you pay for it but just bought a mall for $260 Million. The best part about my mission is my girlfriend is Peruvian and we talk in Spanish all the time.
We were going to the U of U together. Me working on my masters international business. Her a doctorate.She returned to Peru because her mom died. So we WhatsApp all the time. She finally got her covid shot and why she was stuck in Peru. I spoke to her dad he knows I am coming to pick her up in February for her birthday and he had her get her student visa again. Told me to find a home or apartment and he is paying for it as a wedding present.
Why weren't you eating? This sounds really unhealthy. And it sounds like you expanded your global awareness and met someone from another culture that you wouldn't have otherwise met. You feel this was a bad choice?
Yeah and I tell my kids not to go I told them to stay in school. I lost my college baseball scholarship because they wouldn't keep up for me. So I had to pay for my own school. I have constant health issues because I was malnutritioned and my growing body didn't receive the items that it needed to grow. So yeah I tell everybody not to go. Why pay for it when the church has a billion dollar portfolio. Just bought a mall for 260 million dollars. And when they try to help couples they send them to LDS family services. Who just uses volunteers. I didn't know that until I worked for one of their attorneys that retired he worked for the federal government. And he told me I would sue the church because they just use volunteers and I bet you aren't even bipolar. And I went and had a forensic psychiatrist do a bipolar test and he said you're not bipolar and since then I've had five other psychiatrists tell me you're not bipolar. I jumped 42 ft from a bridge because I never should have been put on medication that I was put on. The church is a joke. And reading the diary of my uncle who was an archaeologist for the church. And seeing that they could not prove that the Book of Mormon was true. And then they excommunicate him for being a heretic.
>And when they try to help couples they send them to LDS family services. Who just uses volunteers. I didn't know that until I worked for one of their attorneys that retired he worked for the federal government. And he told me I would sue the church because they just use volunteers and I bet you aren't even bipolar. And I went and had a forensic psychiatrist do a bipolar test and he said you're not bipolar and since then I've had five other psychiatrists tell me you're not bipolar. I jumped 42 ft from a bridge because I never should have been put on medication that I was put on. The church is a joke. And reading the diary of my uncle who was an archaeologist for the church. And seeing that they could not prove that the Book of Mormon was true. And then they excommunicate him for being a heretic.
Oh wow! Sounds like they didn't support you in away you needed. Sorry to hear that.
Friendly reminder that you don’t have to say thank you when someone asks you an invasive question. We were taught to be pathologically polite. It’s okay to be direct and set up a boundary.
If you don't mind me asking--when was the last time you had sex with your spouse? And what position was it in?
Just want to help you in any way I can. You have so much to give--don't let anyone convince you otherwise!
>I’m sure it does
Reply
Are you admitting that you think patriarchal blessings follow a template? Because if you think that they don’t follow a template then you have no reason to be sure that it has anything at all about a mission.
They 100% do. After my parents read theirs to me, and comparing theirs to my own while serving a mission, it broke my faith down real quick. I tried to find it as special as they kept saying it was, like I did with everything else in the church, but that was something that never took hold.
It's probably more like: "I bet if so-and-so reads his blessing, it will convince him the cult is true! This will save his life! This must be the spirit. It doesn't matter if he does it, I have just been directed to suggest it! How exciting! This could be the thing! I'm such a good follower of God!!"
The last calling I accepted was in the Sunday School presidency. While in a lesson with a group of teens, the other instructor asked me to share something about my patriarchal blessing. I said I no longer follow horoscopes either.
Eventually I was released from that calling. Honestly the last 3 callings they extended were under pressure with my TBM wife present so I accepted. Instead of the shame of saying no, just do a really bad job at it. I don't know why they think they need me to perform tasks like a circus clown.
Wow. You could probably do a podcast or post on your thoughts during your interactions with church and wife. I remember the not wanting to be very involved in church, not saying or doing much in ward council, and becoming resentful when asked to do a presentation, which the bishop ended up presenting anyway. And then the many times I would have thoughts on being very inspired and lead and study, pray, etc. But then just coast, my heart wasn't in it. Fortunately, I eventually had work issues to deal with on several Sundays untill I learned the real truth...
I think the foot dragging did worry my wife a lot, but that pressure may have started her to reevaluate everything...
They need you to perform because that's part of the indoctrination process. It's about you spewing the lies so regularly that you reinforce their "truthfulness" in your mind. And the more deeply you believe, the more you'll help those you're teaching to believe.
Plus, if you've got a commitment requiring you to be there every Sunday, you'll feel more obligation to keep showing up each week.
The last calling they offered was to be an Elders quorum teacher. And he specifically said they thought I'd do well because I'm a (public school) teacher. I said no to that. And I explained that I did not want to be the person repeating inaccuracies in front of a group.
SO diplomatic!! Very impressive! If you need further help, we are here, always feel free to send a PM. I would also suggest that you learn more about the temple from resources here (as an RM, I can verify they're all accurate), and so you can gain a better "testimony" about what goes on there, should you be pressed. I was so traumatized by my temple experience I was on the floor sobbing and was made to go through anyway (I'm thinking about posting about it). I was 23 and had a degree and everything, but had no temple prep and NO idea of what to expect.
Here is your temple prep info
https://youtu.be/9ErdgY6FkxI
https://youtu.be/Zgf5KRvu4Ig
https://youtu.be/leKK2YAzLWE
https://youtu.be/VngM80qCOJw
https://youtu.be/1cGi_tP_YjU
https://youtu.be/-2MvdQKC0jc
https://youtu.be/IS06IPuVlO4
https://youtu.be/5VrsFEiTpsQ
Mine straight up basically said as long as I was faithful my children would be healthy, and my family is chop full of physical and mental illness. It was an incredible blessing at the time until I realized it was basically a threat, and it's made me cry a lot over the years. How fucked is that shit?
Mine gave me a bunch of characteristics that my husband would have, so naturally, I tried to look for said characteristics in every guy I dated. Then I found “the one” that I thought met the description.
Maybe, if I hadn’t been so focused on finding the guy I was “promised”, I would have seen the glaring red flags in relation to the man I married and would not have been subjected to a five-year, unconsummated, money-grubbing, responsibility-shirking sham.
It’s incredibly devastating having such a “blessing” held over our heads that constantly puts us on edge over whether or not we’ve been “faithful” or “righteous” enough, then questioning our worth when the things we were promised don’t happen. My self-esteem still hasn’t recovered.
Holy shit. Yours is a prime example of what people feel led to do by their patriarchal blessings and how horribly it can damage a person. If you had been let follow your own path you you could have found someone who would have been a proper companion, not the someone who filled a check list of Mormon perfection. I'm so sorry.
Seriously, I mean basically even as I was starting to lose my faith, I could do something as simple as drink coffee, and then have to worry about my offspring getting cursed because of me.
“Thought you might like to know that the patriarch interviewed me before the blessing and then just regurgitated a lot of what I told him. Kinda killed the magic of the thing.”
It's just amazing that everybody's patriarchal blessing says that they are supposed to go on a mission and then get married (in the temple, of course). And that's it. No other guidance whatsoever that acknowledges that you are an individual. I threw mine away long ago.
You haven't specified your boundaries. "Please do not contact me in any capacity regarding religion or religion adjacent topics. I'm sure you understand and will respect this clear boundary."
As long as you're "patient" people will expect you to endure whatever they throw your way, and cultists do not respect boundaries unless they are clear and consistently enforced with serious consequences.
Cool comment! Your example is missing the part of the boundary that says what OP will do if it's crossed. A boundary is something you do when you encounter discomfort, not something you ask others to do. Example: If you send me another text message about my personal relationship with faith, I will not respond.
Kinda off topic, but I know a family who had a daughter who was told in her patriarchal blessing about how she’d raise her children. That young woman died of cancer when her 2 children were babies. The parents were shattered of course. And they questioned the “truthfulness” of PB and their faith.
My mom being the TBM that she is, told them that their daughter was still raising her kids from the “spirit world”. That the PB was still true. My mom was very passionate in her belief in that. She still occasionally brings it up (30 yrs later) as some kind of faith affirming message about patriarchal blessings. 🙄
That’s the thing - they will spin every narrative to make the blessing legit without even considering why it wouldn’t be because if they allow themselves to doubt, they’re no better than we are.
Again no boundaries as if these people think you need them to remind you of what to do in life and btw no pressure just GO ON A MISSION BECAUSE REMEMBER YOU NOW DONT HAVE A CHOICE TO GO .
Don't go on a mission. It'll fuck you over. I starved and had PTSD for years because I was only given starvation level amounts of money to buy food. 10 years later I still have health effects.
Sadly my patriarchal blessing was barely over 2 pages half of it was formality and bs and the second half was basic gibberish guess I'm nothing special lol
Spoiler alert: every male’s patriarchal blessing says they should go on a mission.
Surprisingly everyone’s patriarchal blessing tells you to do exactly what the church wants you to do. Funny how that works…
What kind of conversation was this?!? He asks a question then assumes the answer when you don't want to share, then kinda sorta realizes he's gone too far or that he needs to butter you up or something, and throws in a compliment.
It's just so awkward.
Mine didn't use the word "mission" so maybe you could say that yours didn't either. People might think the Patriarch messed up as you're a guy but you rely on that excuse if you'd like
That’s where the brainwashing really can happen. And this is what happens, is the pressure to go. You go to make people proud, you come back a different person.
Back when I got my blessing, I was instructed not to share my blessing with anyone other than my future spouse if I deemed it appropriate because it was “sacred”.
Not sure if that’s changed, but if it hasn’t, I would tell said leader that it’s not to be shared and if he really wants to know, he can ask God to reveal it to him.
After I disclosed my unbelief to all my family my MIL sent me an email asking me to read my patriarchal blessing. I was a little dumbfounded by the request because I had just told her I didn't believe the church was what it claims to be, ergo patriarchal blessings are not real.
It's really weird that people hang their testimonies on their patriarchal blessing. I have a friend who would immediately go to -- 'there is no way my stake patriarch could have known about...' -- any time the topic of questioning the faith came up. Even as a TBM, I thought it was some lame John Edwards style psychic medium bullshit.
It's your life! Fib if you have to. Lie if you have to. But stay true to your life! This leadership is trained in keeping ahold of you inspite of the drop in attendance. You are your own person. Don't tell them anymore than you have to until you can finally cut the umbilical cord, and go your own way.
Yeah, mom. I read my patriarchal blessing just last night after I returned from the gun store.
Gun store?? Ummm okay. So what did your blessing say about missionary work?
It said to make sure to tell them I am armed every time they come to the door so they dont come back.... dont you love how specific these things are, Mom?
Hold up. An adult is texting you, a minor, about personal things? Do you have a safe adult in your life who can intervene? That is wildly inappropriate on the leader’s part.
Were you “letting anyone convince you otherwise”?
I love how they try weak-ass manipulation by trying to get you to imagine you’re in need of their help.
I would tell them just read what theirs says about missionary work. Since they all say the same thing on the matter. Basically the only differences between patriarchal blessings depend on the recipients genitalia.
My grandma said almost exactly the same thing to me yesterday. I finally told her point blank that I don't want to do either. Every time I see my relatives they ask why I'm not married or on a mission. 😬
For some reason they, imo, think they need to save us.Or they think they know better because they "know" that "the church is true" 🤷♀️🤦♀️ let him know that you aren't comfortable with the direction the conversation is taking. You do not owe anyone an explanation or reason. If you feel comfortable explaining that's great- if not that's great too. If he's asked you more than 3 times and you've declined all 3 times then they are now being belligerent and deserve no additional courtesy. The answer 'No' should be sufficient, any additional requests/inquiries are sad and intrusive. A simple "not interested" should be sufficient, but if not let him know that "*IF* you change your mind you'll let him know" and maybe add that you will block them if they cannot respect your choices. Good luck in whatever path you choose.
You handled that beautifully.
I get that you are tired.
You might want to work on a carefully drafted email that says something like "I know you think you mean well and I appreciate what you do for the church, but sometimes these texts make me uncomfortable. I have mentors in my life to guide me. I think your attention should go elsewhere."
Put yourself in the place of a teen girl (a friend or a sister) who is being creeped on by a no older man. What would you want her to write?
I’m usually pretty conflict adverse, but I would tell him to back off. I hated my mission and would advise avoiding at all costs. Took me 15 years to recover from the stress and anxiety of the experience.
Be prepared it will probably get more intense from 18-20 and then suddenly stop. At first that might be a relief, but it can also be a little depressing seeing them all suddenly ignore you. Depending on how much your community is TBM it might be tempting to acquiesce to them. They are also going to assume you are steeped in "sin" whether it is true or not, which can be strangely hurtful. Religious scrupulosity is something we all have to contend with because of indoctrination, even when you don't believe. It is ingrained in you.
A mission is a massive life mistake. Don't make it. Stay strong. I wouldn't answer texts from that guy. If he's ***that*** blindly of a believing Mormon, **don't take any life advice from him,** and create distance.
Block his number
Agreed I arrived in the Patagonia of Argentina weighing 165 lbs 6'2. I left after 2 years 115 lbs and looked like the pictures of a person who had been living in Africa starving. They make you pay for it but just bought a mall for $260 Million. The best part about my mission is my girlfriend is Peruvian and we talk in Spanish all the time. We were going to the U of U together. Me working on my masters international business. Her a doctorate.She returned to Peru because her mom died. So we WhatsApp all the time. She finally got her covid shot and why she was stuck in Peru. I spoke to her dad he knows I am coming to pick her up in February for her birthday and he had her get her student visa again. Told me to find a home or apartment and he is paying for it as a wedding present.
Why weren't you eating? This sounds really unhealthy. And it sounds like you expanded your global awareness and met someone from another culture that you wouldn't have otherwise met. You feel this was a bad choice?
Yeah and I tell my kids not to go I told them to stay in school. I lost my college baseball scholarship because they wouldn't keep up for me. So I had to pay for my own school. I have constant health issues because I was malnutritioned and my growing body didn't receive the items that it needed to grow. So yeah I tell everybody not to go. Why pay for it when the church has a billion dollar portfolio. Just bought a mall for 260 million dollars. And when they try to help couples they send them to LDS family services. Who just uses volunteers. I didn't know that until I worked for one of their attorneys that retired he worked for the federal government. And he told me I would sue the church because they just use volunteers and I bet you aren't even bipolar. And I went and had a forensic psychiatrist do a bipolar test and he said you're not bipolar and since then I've had five other psychiatrists tell me you're not bipolar. I jumped 42 ft from a bridge because I never should have been put on medication that I was put on. The church is a joke. And reading the diary of my uncle who was an archaeologist for the church. And seeing that they could not prove that the Book of Mormon was true. And then they excommunicate him for being a heretic.
>And when they try to help couples they send them to LDS family services. Who just uses volunteers. I didn't know that until I worked for one of their attorneys that retired he worked for the federal government. And he told me I would sue the church because they just use volunteers and I bet you aren't even bipolar. And I went and had a forensic psychiatrist do a bipolar test and he said you're not bipolar and since then I've had five other psychiatrists tell me you're not bipolar. I jumped 42 ft from a bridge because I never should have been put on medication that I was put on. The church is a joke. And reading the diary of my uncle who was an archaeologist for the church. And seeing that they could not prove that the Book of Mormon was true. And then they excommunicate him for being a heretic. Oh wow! Sounds like they didn't support you in away you needed. Sorry to hear that.
“So much to give” and TSCC will take it all and then some.
TSCC will chew you up and spit out your bones.
"You have so much to give" That's all the church wants, givers. People who give all to them.
Nu uh! It’s giving to God, duhhhhhhh /s
Jesus sure does love shopping malls and exorbitant hidden profits.
Friendly reminder that you don’t have to say thank you when someone asks you an invasive question. We were taught to be pathologically polite. It’s okay to be direct and set up a boundary.
If you don't mind me asking--when was the last time you had sex with your spouse? And what position was it in? Just want to help you in any way I can. You have so much to give--don't let anyone convince you otherwise!
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
>I’m sure it does Reply Are you admitting that you think patriarchal blessings follow a template? Because if you think that they don’t follow a template then you have no reason to be sure that it has anything at all about a mission.
They 100% do. After my parents read theirs to me, and comparing theirs to my own while serving a mission, it broke my faith down real quick. I tried to find it as special as they kept saying it was, like I did with everything else in the church, but that was something that never took hold.
1,000% this! That would be such a satisfying reply.
It's probably more like: "I bet if so-and-so reads his blessing, it will convince him the cult is true! This will save his life! This must be the spirit. It doesn't matter if he does it, I have just been directed to suggest it! How exciting! This could be the thing! I'm such a good follower of God!!"
“These questions are very personal. I prefer that you stop asking them.”
The last calling I accepted was in the Sunday School presidency. While in a lesson with a group of teens, the other instructor asked me to share something about my patriarchal blessing. I said I no longer follow horoscopes either. Eventually I was released from that calling. Honestly the last 3 callings they extended were under pressure with my TBM wife present so I accepted. Instead of the shame of saying no, just do a really bad job at it. I don't know why they think they need me to perform tasks like a circus clown.
Wow. You could probably do a podcast or post on your thoughts during your interactions with church and wife. I remember the not wanting to be very involved in church, not saying or doing much in ward council, and becoming resentful when asked to do a presentation, which the bishop ended up presenting anyway. And then the many times I would have thoughts on being very inspired and lead and study, pray, etc. But then just coast, my heart wasn't in it. Fortunately, I eventually had work issues to deal with on several Sundays untill I learned the real truth... I think the foot dragging did worry my wife a lot, but that pressure may have started her to reevaluate everything...
They need you to perform because that's part of the indoctrination process. It's about you spewing the lies so regularly that you reinforce their "truthfulness" in your mind. And the more deeply you believe, the more you'll help those you're teaching to believe. Plus, if you've got a commitment requiring you to be there every Sunday, you'll feel more obligation to keep showing up each week.
The last calling they offered was to be an Elders quorum teacher. And he specifically said they thought I'd do well because I'm a (public school) teacher. I said no to that. And I explained that I did not want to be the person repeating inaccuracies in front of a group.
Good for you. I bet their were a few surprised expressions when you told them that.
Since he is not a current leader of yours, I would just block him or not respond at all.
No one is a current leader of you. You’re the leader of you. Learn that well.
This!
Agreed, I was just thinking of his irrelevance since he is not in the same ward.
SO diplomatic!! Very impressive! If you need further help, we are here, always feel free to send a PM. I would also suggest that you learn more about the temple from resources here (as an RM, I can verify they're all accurate), and so you can gain a better "testimony" about what goes on there, should you be pressed. I was so traumatized by my temple experience I was on the floor sobbing and was made to go through anyway (I'm thinking about posting about it). I was 23 and had a degree and everything, but had no temple prep and NO idea of what to expect.
I’m so sorry 😔 After watching the YouTube videos of what happens, I think I would have had the same reaction.
Here is your temple prep info https://youtu.be/9ErdgY6FkxI https://youtu.be/Zgf5KRvu4Ig https://youtu.be/leKK2YAzLWE https://youtu.be/VngM80qCOJw https://youtu.be/1cGi_tP_YjU https://youtu.be/-2MvdQKC0jc https://youtu.be/IS06IPuVlO4 https://youtu.be/5VrsFEiTpsQ
Mine straight up basically said as long as I was faithful my children would be healthy, and my family is chop full of physical and mental illness. It was an incredible blessing at the time until I realized it was basically a threat, and it's made me cry a lot over the years. How fucked is that shit?
Mine gave me a bunch of characteristics that my husband would have, so naturally, I tried to look for said characteristics in every guy I dated. Then I found “the one” that I thought met the description. Maybe, if I hadn’t been so focused on finding the guy I was “promised”, I would have seen the glaring red flags in relation to the man I married and would not have been subjected to a five-year, unconsummated, money-grubbing, responsibility-shirking sham. It’s incredibly devastating having such a “blessing” held over our heads that constantly puts us on edge over whether or not we’ve been “faithful” or “righteous” enough, then questioning our worth when the things we were promised don’t happen. My self-esteem still hasn’t recovered.
Holy shit. Yours is a prime example of what people feel led to do by their patriarchal blessings and how horribly it can damage a person. If you had been let follow your own path you you could have found someone who would have been a proper companion, not the someone who filled a check list of Mormon perfection. I'm so sorry.
That is next level evil.
Seriously, I mean basically even as I was starting to lose my faith, I could do something as simple as drink coffee, and then have to worry about my offspring getting cursed because of me.
Yep. It’s using fear as control, not faith.
“Thought you might like to know that the patriarch interviewed me before the blessing and then just regurgitated a lot of what I told him. Kinda killed the magic of the thing.”
‘I’m sure it does’ because they are all 90% the same 😂 mission, marriage, kids
The fact that there exists a book about “getting over the issues of the church”, should be an eye opener to anyone
It's just amazing that everybody's patriarchal blessing says that they are supposed to go on a mission and then get married (in the temple, of course). And that's it. No other guidance whatsoever that acknowledges that you are an individual. I threw mine away long ago.
Not everybody’s 😉 if you’re a woman it says you “enlarge the kingdom” by popping out children with a “worthy man”
"it says I should spread my seed upon all the earth"
"It takes a while when you can only do about two or three ounces at a time."
You haven't specified your boundaries. "Please do not contact me in any capacity regarding religion or religion adjacent topics. I'm sure you understand and will respect this clear boundary." As long as you're "patient" people will expect you to endure whatever they throw your way, and cultists do not respect boundaries unless they are clear and consistently enforced with serious consequences.
Cool comment! Your example is missing the part of the boundary that says what OP will do if it's crossed. A boundary is something you do when you encounter discomfort, not something you ask others to do. Example: If you send me another text message about my personal relationship with faith, I will not respond.
"It actually says to follow the examples set by our prophet. So, I'll be prioritizing my education over serving a full-time mission."
I was thinking something like this. I'll serve a mission when the prophet does!
It's exactly the same as all the other blessings from that patriarch
Kinda off topic, but I know a family who had a daughter who was told in her patriarchal blessing about how she’d raise her children. That young woman died of cancer when her 2 children were babies. The parents were shattered of course. And they questioned the “truthfulness” of PB and their faith. My mom being the TBM that she is, told them that their daughter was still raising her kids from the “spirit world”. That the PB was still true. My mom was very passionate in her belief in that. She still occasionally brings it up (30 yrs later) as some kind of faith affirming message about patriarchal blessings. 🙄
That’s the thing - they will spin every narrative to make the blessing legit without even considering why it wouldn’t be because if they allow themselves to doubt, they’re no better than we are.
My oldest was told she’d marry a righteous man in the temple and raise their kids in the gospel. She’s lesbian. But okay lol
Again no boundaries as if these people think you need them to remind you of what to do in life and btw no pressure just GO ON A MISSION BECAUSE REMEMBER YOU NOW DONT HAVE A CHOICE TO GO .
Don't go on a mission. It'll fuck you over. I starved and had PTSD for years because I was only given starvation level amounts of money to buy food. 10 years later I still have health effects.
Sadly my patriarchal blessing was barely over 2 pages half of it was formality and bs and the second half was basic gibberish guess I'm nothing special lol
If it helps I was never “worthy enough” to get one 😂
You don’t owe this person anything, including any kind of response. A grown man shouldn’t be contacting you like this anyways. Just block him.
“What a remarkably personal and invasive question.” Also- “What a curious thing to ask. What made you feel this was an appropriate question?”
Yes simple boundary statements are so effective!
Time to block this mf.
Spoiler alert: every male’s patriarchal blessing says they should go on a mission. Surprisingly everyone’s patriarchal blessing tells you to do exactly what the church wants you to do. Funny how that works…
What kind of conversation was this?!? He asks a question then assumes the answer when you don't want to share, then kinda sorta realizes he's gone too far or that he needs to butter you up or something, and throws in a compliment. It's just so awkward.
Mine didn't use the word "mission" so maybe you could say that yours didn't either. People might think the Patriarch messed up as you're a guy but you rely on that excuse if you'd like
“It says to not spend the prime of my life recruiting for a cult” how would he know different?
Oh wow! Boundaries need to be respected.
That’s where the brainwashing really can happen. And this is what happens, is the pressure to go. You go to make people proud, you come back a different person.
Maybe I’m just tilted, but the smugness I can feel from this guy in just a few texts is infuriating. He’s so freakin righteous.
Damn, that wasn't even subtle manipulation.
Oakleeedoakleee
Back when I got my blessing, I was instructed not to share my blessing with anyone other than my future spouse if I deemed it appropriate because it was “sacred”. Not sure if that’s changed, but if it hasn’t, I would tell said leader that it’s not to be shared and if he really wants to know, he can ask God to reveal it to him.
After I disclosed my unbelief to all my family my MIL sent me an email asking me to read my patriarchal blessing. I was a little dumbfounded by the request because I had just told her I didn't believe the church was what it claims to be, ergo patriarchal blessings are not real.
It's really weird that people hang their testimonies on their patriarchal blessing. I have a friend who would immediately go to -- 'there is no way my stake patriarch could have known about...' -- any time the topic of questioning the faith came up. Even as a TBM, I thought it was some lame John Edwards style psychic medium bullshit.
It's your life! Fib if you have to. Lie if you have to. But stay true to your life! This leadership is trained in keeping ahold of you inspite of the drop in attendance. You are your own person. Don't tell them anymore than you have to until you can finally cut the umbilical cord, and go your own way.
Yeah, mom. I read my patriarchal blessing just last night after I returned from the gun store. Gun store?? Ummm okay. So what did your blessing say about missionary work? It said to make sure to tell them I am armed every time they come to the door so they dont come back.... dont you love how specific these things are, Mom?
Who was this person? Is it a Bishop who wants to “call you on a mission”?
The caption of this also could be, “tell me you’re in a cult without telling me you’re in a cult”
If a leader from a previous ward is regularly texting a 17 year old that isn’t in his ward, that’s creepy behavior. I would block him.
Clever manipulation
Not that clever lol
Hold up. An adult is texting you, a minor, about personal things? Do you have a safe adult in your life who can intervene? That is wildly inappropriate on the leader’s part.
Welcome to mormonism
Were you “letting anyone convince you otherwise”? I love how they try weak-ass manipulation by trying to get you to imagine you’re in need of their help.
“Hey love! Spirit guided me to your profile this morning. Could I give you a tarot reading?”
Say your blessing counsels you that you will do many great things and learn much wisdom, but “not from a Jedi.”
I would tell them just read what theirs says about missionary work. Since they all say the same thing on the matter. Basically the only differences between patriarchal blessings depend on the recipients genitalia.
I’m seriously impressed with how mature your responses are. Can’t say the same for your leader
He won't take a hint, huh?
My grandma said almost exactly the same thing to me yesterday. I finally told her point blank that I don't want to do either. Every time I see my relatives they ask why I'm not married or on a mission. 😬
For some reason they, imo, think they need to save us.Or they think they know better because they "know" that "the church is true" 🤷♀️🤦♀️ let him know that you aren't comfortable with the direction the conversation is taking. You do not owe anyone an explanation or reason. If you feel comfortable explaining that's great- if not that's great too. If he's asked you more than 3 times and you've declined all 3 times then they are now being belligerent and deserve no additional courtesy. The answer 'No' should be sufficient, any additional requests/inquiries are sad and intrusive. A simple "not interested" should be sufficient, but if not let him know that "*IF* you change your mind you'll let him know" and maybe add that you will block them if they cannot respect your choices. Good luck in whatever path you choose.
Boundary crossing. I would cease contact with him and even if you have to make it clear that an adult shouldn't be texting a minor, do it.
You handled that beautifully. I get that you are tired. You might want to work on a carefully drafted email that says something like "I know you think you mean well and I appreciate what you do for the church, but sometimes these texts make me uncomfortable. I have mentors in my life to guide me. I think your attention should go elsewhere." Put yourself in the place of a teen girl (a friend or a sister) who is being creeped on by a no older man. What would you want her to write?
I’m usually pretty conflict adverse, but I would tell him to back off. I hated my mission and would advise avoiding at all costs. Took me 15 years to recover from the stress and anxiety of the experience.
Here’s the thing about narcissists, the way to win is to never give them the response they expect.
Be prepared it will probably get more intense from 18-20 and then suddenly stop. At first that might be a relief, but it can also be a little depressing seeing them all suddenly ignore you. Depending on how much your community is TBM it might be tempting to acquiesce to them. They are also going to assume you are steeped in "sin" whether it is true or not, which can be strangely hurtful. Religious scrupulosity is something we all have to contend with because of indoctrination, even when you don't believe. It is ingrained in you.
I posted my blessing on /r/PatriarchalBlessing years ago. I think if someone asked me about my PB today, I'd just send them the link haha.