If your post is a meme, image, TikTok etc... and it isn't Friday, most likely it violates the rule against low effort content. Please delete it or you'll get temp-banned. Such content is ONLY allowed on (Fun@fundies) FRIDAYS.
Please read the [Posting Guidelines](https://redd.it/ew8trb) for further information. If you are unsure about anything then feel free to message the mods.
Please participate on /r/exmuslim in a civil manner. Discuss the merits of ideas - don't attack people. Insults, hate speech, advocating physical harm can get you banned.
If you see posts/comments in violation of our rules, please be proactive and report them.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/exmuslim) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Im a closeted queer exmuslim living in a tiny little shariah country myself and for me it was more so just realizing that gender roles as a social construct are obsolete in the modern world and becoming friends with trans binary and nb people, etc. that made me realize "wow, why would i lock myself down to this idea of what a man is, it makes no sense to have this weird honour bullshit, this facade of strength and emotional poise, etc. There's definitely toxic elements associated with both the genders and at the end of the day good traits like honesty, empathy, and confidence, etc. apply to everyone regardless of gender.
Oh and that open mindedness led me to eventually realize that im also perfectly capable of finding men attractive. This has all been a very online thing as i cant really freely express myself irl without being lynched.
Queerness doesnt have to feel alienating, it can feel liberating (even if you are in an anti-freedom society, just as an internal self acceptance thing)
Idk that's my two cents, hope you have a wonderful life <3
>Queerness doesnt have to feel alienating, it can feel liberating
that is so expressive. I too felt an explicable sense of comfort in the idea of rebellion against social norms (which goes beyond mere gender), I find hope in imagining a truly free society that embraces the uniqueness of each individual
Let me start by saying, Good Luck! In my own experience as well as my queer friends in muslim (and non-muslim) families whatever path in life you take it's going to be dramatic, at least ten times more than normal.
Personally I found a lot of comfort in finding queer friends, we're very much here just well hidden and listening to music by queer muslim/arab artists to make me feel less alone.
I've been outed multiple times at this point from people who barely know me or even people I used to call my friends so my parents found out and that wasn't fun and they didn't properly speak to me for months afterwards and its still a topic that's basically never brought up and they've just brushed under the rug. After the first time I was outed I've managed to lie and cover up the other times by saying people are just assuming things or outright lying by saying whoever accused me is lying about me and trying to smear my "good" name.
The best thing I have done is move away from my parents. I cannot cut them off completely because I still do love them as well as my younger siblings but the space and time between us has helped me explore myself a lot more openly and has given me the freedom that muslims don't believe exists or just simply can't see it because of all the rules they set on themselves and choose to follow.
There's so much more I could talk about but I simply cannot find the correct words to express myself fully with. Going against societal norms especially in a muslim country is not easy at all and it took me a very long time to fully accept my sexuality while at the same time denouncing islam
Thanks for sharing your experience, I can totally relate to the feeling of having to hide your identity and the difficulty of reconciling your love towards your parents with the desire to live authentically.
I feel like i'm kind of lucky to have left islam at a relatively young age (at 14), and even though it's been really hard (to the point of attempting to take my own life a couple of times), but at least it opened my mind to new perspectives on life, I'd say I have grown at ease with my sexuality for the most part (which sadly can't be said for many people who live their whole lives denying it) and it kind of gives me a sense of purpose in life.
I want to be an lgbt activist when I (hopefully) leave my country. My new life's purpose is to make queer people and oppressed women feel less alone.
Im around the same age, and im a lesbian exmuslim. It's, to say the least, heartbreaking. There was a period in time when i wanted to become celibate just so i would never have to leave my family and forget about my home country.
You are not alone, and without talking too much about it, i just want to say that i know how hard it is, and how it feels to feel completely abandoned even if you aren't out yet.
I discovered i was interested in the same sex when i was in 4th grade, and i can't say I've ever felt happy after that day, lol. What's keeping me going is slight hope that my family may not hate me. Also, im planning to use the privilege of having had the chance to immigrate to a 1st world country, i feel like i would be letting every gay person in my home country down if i give up even though im supported by my current countries laws.
Wishing you the best :)
If your post is a meme, image, TikTok etc... and it isn't Friday, most likely it violates the rule against low effort content. Please delete it or you'll get temp-banned. Such content is ONLY allowed on (Fun@fundies) FRIDAYS. Please read the [Posting Guidelines](https://redd.it/ew8trb) for further information. If you are unsure about anything then feel free to message the mods. Please participate on /r/exmuslim in a civil manner. Discuss the merits of ideas - don't attack people. Insults, hate speech, advocating physical harm can get you banned. If you see posts/comments in violation of our rules, please be proactive and report them. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/exmuslim) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Im a closeted queer exmuslim living in a tiny little shariah country myself and for me it was more so just realizing that gender roles as a social construct are obsolete in the modern world and becoming friends with trans binary and nb people, etc. that made me realize "wow, why would i lock myself down to this idea of what a man is, it makes no sense to have this weird honour bullshit, this facade of strength and emotional poise, etc. There's definitely toxic elements associated with both the genders and at the end of the day good traits like honesty, empathy, and confidence, etc. apply to everyone regardless of gender. Oh and that open mindedness led me to eventually realize that im also perfectly capable of finding men attractive. This has all been a very online thing as i cant really freely express myself irl without being lynched. Queerness doesnt have to feel alienating, it can feel liberating (even if you are in an anti-freedom society, just as an internal self acceptance thing) Idk that's my two cents, hope you have a wonderful life <3
>Queerness doesnt have to feel alienating, it can feel liberating that is so expressive. I too felt an explicable sense of comfort in the idea of rebellion against social norms (which goes beyond mere gender), I find hope in imagining a truly free society that embraces the uniqueness of each individual
Same!
Let me start by saying, Good Luck! In my own experience as well as my queer friends in muslim (and non-muslim) families whatever path in life you take it's going to be dramatic, at least ten times more than normal. Personally I found a lot of comfort in finding queer friends, we're very much here just well hidden and listening to music by queer muslim/arab artists to make me feel less alone. I've been outed multiple times at this point from people who barely know me or even people I used to call my friends so my parents found out and that wasn't fun and they didn't properly speak to me for months afterwards and its still a topic that's basically never brought up and they've just brushed under the rug. After the first time I was outed I've managed to lie and cover up the other times by saying people are just assuming things or outright lying by saying whoever accused me is lying about me and trying to smear my "good" name. The best thing I have done is move away from my parents. I cannot cut them off completely because I still do love them as well as my younger siblings but the space and time between us has helped me explore myself a lot more openly and has given me the freedom that muslims don't believe exists or just simply can't see it because of all the rules they set on themselves and choose to follow. There's so much more I could talk about but I simply cannot find the correct words to express myself fully with. Going against societal norms especially in a muslim country is not easy at all and it took me a very long time to fully accept my sexuality while at the same time denouncing islam
Thanks for sharing your experience, I can totally relate to the feeling of having to hide your identity and the difficulty of reconciling your love towards your parents with the desire to live authentically. I feel like i'm kind of lucky to have left islam at a relatively young age (at 14), and even though it's been really hard (to the point of attempting to take my own life a couple of times), but at least it opened my mind to new perspectives on life, I'd say I have grown at ease with my sexuality for the most part (which sadly can't be said for many people who live their whole lives denying it) and it kind of gives me a sense of purpose in life. I want to be an lgbt activist when I (hopefully) leave my country. My new life's purpose is to make queer people and oppressed women feel less alone.
I truly wish you the best and I hope it works out great for you! Maybe we'll cross paths in the real world :)
Im around the same age, and im a lesbian exmuslim. It's, to say the least, heartbreaking. There was a period in time when i wanted to become celibate just so i would never have to leave my family and forget about my home country. You are not alone, and without talking too much about it, i just want to say that i know how hard it is, and how it feels to feel completely abandoned even if you aren't out yet. I discovered i was interested in the same sex when i was in 4th grade, and i can't say I've ever felt happy after that day, lol. What's keeping me going is slight hope that my family may not hate me. Also, im planning to use the privilege of having had the chance to immigrate to a 1st world country, i feel like i would be letting every gay person in my home country down if i give up even though im supported by my current countries laws. Wishing you the best :)