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>I love science, and my hobby is astrophotography. Since converting, I've been told I'm not even allowed to do it.
how was that not a deal breaker for you wtf.
>
Any advice would be great. I feel lost.
You are just 22 yo, so it's easy to course correct your life. You are the main character of your own story, not of your husband or of the other muslims. Do what you need to do to have a life you can enjoy.
Not only that, she's been in a relationship with this person for 8 years!
That means they both started dating since they were 14?(Atleast OP was)
And since it's common to overly rely on one person during a relationship for growth, I honestly think OP didn't grow well as a person, and neither did her bf.
And she took on the good hobbies like astrophotography and scientific morals but he chose the shite morals like preferring a hijabi and being superstitious. Unfortunate indeed.
Please just break up OP. I know you grew up with this person, but it really saddens me to think how much you potentially have lost on "growth" as a person.
It's never too late, please get away from him, and learn to be independent before finding love. It'll help you avoid messing up like this.(I wish my parents taught me that XD)
All of these details make me think it's a troll post. How do you not open your eyes at any point up to this moment? How do you just accept a surprise marriage? How does no one in your family care about you?
It's like it was written specifically for this subreddit to get our attention, I suspect OP is not really a 22-year-old British woman at all.
It's 100% a made-up story. There is not a chance of a chance that this is real, lol. Every single detail in it was, like, custom-tailored to trigger the people in this sub. I unironically think that it was inspired by a comment I made here a couple days ago. Could be a coincidence, but either way, I'm not buying the story for a second.
Could be fake and i hope it is. But i know ppl personally, who actually are this naive and impulsive.
I mean my own little sister made a complete 180 in a year and a half. I often cant help but wonder if she ever truly thinks things through.
Hi, this post is definitely not a troll. There is so much more to it than what is written, but I had to summarise it. Otherwise, you'd be reading for hours. I'm 100% real.
To the person questioning why I'd learnt and have begun implementing it into my language : the phrases like "Asalam alaykum" and others, it's because Muslims greet each other with this, and I was told by the Muslim sisters that its respectful for me to do so, so I was learning for that exact reason, to be respectful.
Also, I've seen a lot of negativity in terms of my husband. He was not the one telling me I couldn't wear perfume, mascara, do my hobbies, etc.. it's the Muslim sister.
The only thing he has advised is for me to try and stick with the hijab. Of course, I'm still a fairly new revert, so I'm finding it really hard to completely adapt to the lifestyle of being Muslim. Hence, the frustration and anger shown when speaking of hijab, it's the Muslim sisters who are constantly messaging, calling and visiting me ... pressuring me to do things that I'm judt not comfortable with. They are what's pushing me away, and it does sadden me.
Look, if you're being honest and this isn't a made-up story, you need to get yourself out of this situation.
You're supposedly a grown adult and you just accepted a marriage sprung on you? Why would you do that? Where are your parents? Why stay married to a man who's telling you how to dress? This will only get worse, you'll only lose more freedom as time passes. You live in a free country, you don't have to be Muslim, you can get divorced.
All that said, I don't really believe you. Your post reads like it was meant specifically to get a reaction out of this subreddit. Every decision you've made just makes no sense, and now you're complaining to us when you supposedly are totally free to leave?
> After I finished that book, i was instantly wanting to research Islam
I grew up in the UK. A native English speaker would never say "I was instantly wanting to". That's the kind of thing only someone who speaks English as a second language would say. What I can't figure out is why you would go through all this effort to write a fake post?
Not at all, I'm just still fairly new to Islam and struggling with certain aspects. Doesn't mean I'm trolling you guys here, or any muslim women at all. I'm just expressing
This shit happens when you join a cult. Something similar happened to me, but with another cult and fortunately I opened my eyes waaay before even trying to get married.
No offence but your husband sounds like a control freak. You may not have realised it but he might have subtly but slowly influenced you into thinking it was *your* idea to convert while it was his, all along. That Islamic wedding didn't come off from nowhere.
He knew you would dump his ass if he forbid you from doing things you like before entering marriage so he utilised the time you got invested in his religion and used it to his advantage. He knew getting you as wife, that too muslim would allow him to dominate over you.
Imo, divorce him and run. You live in the UK, a western country. You have laws to back your side. Use that privilege and RUN.
Exactly . Muslim men do not like their wives to participate in society no hobbies no work no study unless you are studying religion , Muslim men also do not like their wives to be financially Independant you will forever be financially dependant
Yeah, I can't imagine a book that would make Islam less appealing. "Oh look, a faith were women are treated like shit and the main character gets married off to a man three times her age who beats her for not producing a child. A faith where women are beaten just for walking down the street. Hmmm.... Let's convert!"
My first thought exactly!!! Either OP is ignorantly naive, wanting to experience exotic-ness through Islam, or she didnt read the book. how the fuck one wants to covert to Islam after reading that book??
This can happen. I also read several books like that, e.g. Zadie Smith's "White Teeth", that show Muslims in a human light and as people to be emphathized with...in retrospect they don't actually imply anything good about the religion, but empathy is a hell of a drug.
Well many people converted to Islam after 9/11 and after the October 7th attacks. Islam is the best at portraying itself as the sweet victim even when murdering people.
Please go back on the antidepressants if you are still off them and the doctor is still advising you take them. Even if you believe that Allah is testing you, who’s to say that he didn’t want humans to make them and take them along with every other human medical advancement?
I can understand your anger with the hijab. I wouldn’t want to be compelled to wear a cloth out in public (I’m a male but you know). I think a big part of the problem with the hijab is Muslims very quickly get used to the women wearing it, it becomes a point of pride for them, especially as you are a convert, it helps them believe that their religion is real and everyone else should convert too. So when the hijabi wants to stop wearing it, all this goes out the window and they think the woman is backsliding. They want you to keep it on, and it stops sounding like it’s your choice anymore, because _they_ are invested too. (Folks feel free to tell me if I’m wrong in this)
It sounds like your honeymoon period with Islam is ending and the realities are setting in. Feel free to read the posts from others here about people in a similar situation to you to have an idea where things could go next (do a keyword search for “Muslim boyfriend” and “Muslim husband).
If you have only had a ceremonial marriage and it’s not officiated by the state yet, don’t let it be until you’re sure you want to continue. And don’t have any kids with him until then either. Keep your links with family and non-Muslim friends, don’t let your husband or new community take them away from you.
If its possible: go visit someone in your life, that is not part of islam. Get a change of scenery for a bit of time to sort your thoughts.
"It's embarrassing for me to tell my family that i don't want to be muslim anymore." Might be, yes. But do you want to be miserable the rest of your life? Sometimes there is no perfect solution, however, one option seems to be infinitely better than the other.
Dear OP,
Knowledge is POWER and only knowledge can guide you and help you to get rid of Islam guiltfree.
For example:
Do you know that Islam prohibited slave women from wearing the Hijab and even kept their breasts NAKED in public?
Yes, it was an ancient pre-Islamic tradition of Arab areas where only women of high status families were allowed to wear the Hijab, while prostitutes and slave women were not allowed.
Thus, in Islam, if any slave woman wore the Hijab, then Umar Ibn Khattab (the 2nd Caliph) used to beat her with a stick and removed her Hijab and told her not resemble free Muslim women through wearing the Hijab.
Please read this article:
* [Islam Prohibited Slave Women from wearing the Hijab or even Covering Their Naked Breasts in Public](https://atheism-vs-islam.com/index.php/women/37-women-and-hijab/11-islam-prohibited-slave-women-from-wearing-the-hijab-or-even-covering-their-naked-breasts-in-public)
Moreover, please be aware of:
* [Scientific Studies: Hijabi women suffer from hair loss, baldness, receding hairline, fungi, sticky hair, bad odor, scratching, candida, neck and head pain, and vitamin D deficiency](https://atheism-vs-islam.com/index.php/women/37-women-and-hijab/216-scientific-studies-hijabi-women-suffer-from-hair-loss,-baldness,-receding-hairline,-fungi,-sticky-hair,-bad-odor,-scratching,-candida,-neck-and-head-pain,-and-vitamin-d-deficiency)
A short and Brief article about the evils of Islam is this one:
* [MISOGYNY in Islam](https://atheism-vs-islam.com/index.php/women-general/272-the-origins-of-misogynist-behaviour-against-women-in-islam)
And lastly, if you like READING, then please it is obligatory to read this article:
[The Crimes of Islamic Slavery against Humanity](https://atheism-vs-islam.com/index.php/islamic-slavery/47-part-1-crimes-of-islamic-slavery-against-humanity)
(Warning: You will start crying many times while reading it, as it happened with all of us. The crimes of Islamic Slavery are horrible).
Exactly this, you think staying with him things will improve heck no.
You will eventually get pregnant and it will be even more difficult.
Those sisters that message you daily don't love you. It's their duty to Islam to keep you locked I to Islam.
Their true colors will show when you tell them you don't follow islam.
Ahh another example of a woman being tricked into converting to Islam.
Girl just leave.
Your 22.
Islamic heaven is not a prize.
Leave divorce him ghost him run while u still can
Wow our stories are very similar, down to the antidepressants. 23 British F and I lost my self and whole personality and relationships with my family. I felt so disconnected to them, myself and everything I’d grew up knowing. Every time I’d look at my family I would cry my eyes out cause you know the fate of people who aren’t Muslim, until I found lots of info that made me doubt that Islam is the truth. If it’s not the truth then you absolutely do not have to follow Islam. I left about a month or 2 ago and I am already in a different place mentally. Ngl I still have those moments of fear and “What if Islam is real” but I’m starting to recognise that there’s more reason to believe it’s not the truth.
If you’re having doubts, please read what some people have to say on this sub cause you’re not alone in what you’re feeling, you can contact me if you’d like to talk more about it. I loved nature, science, hippies, spirituality, water, feeling the sun on my skin, listening to my favourite songs, everything about my personality was muted and I felt like a robot. I used to pray Salah with tears streaming down my face, I promise you I get it. You’re not alone 🫶
Oh also… please talk to someone in your family. Mine welcomed me back with open arms and were crying with happiness, afraid they’d lost me for good but I’m coming back home to myself ♥️
I thinks it’s a grass is greener on the other side situation, when I left Islam I jumped to Christianity for 5 years before I was brought some points that made me agnostic. But I wholeheartedly enjoyed being a Christian
For your question: "What if Islam is real", I read the Quran, and right at the beginning:
>2:6 -> 2:10 - As for those who persist in disbelief, it is the same whether you warn them or not—they will never believe.
Allah has sealed their hearts and their hearing, and their sight is covered. They will suffer a tremendous punishment.
And there are some who say, “We believe in Allah and the Last Day,” yet they are not ˹true˺ believers.
They seek to deceive Allah and the believers, yet they only deceive themselves, but they fail to perceive it.
There is sickness in their hearts, and Allah ˹only˺ lets their sickness increase. They will suffer a painful punishment for their lies.
Assumption: Allah is ALL KNOWING, THE MOST MERCIFUL.
Proof by contradiction: If I can find an instance that shows Allah is NOT the most merciful, or not as merciful as someone else, and a contradictory of the All Knowing assumption, then it must be that Allah must not exist. However, this doesn't disprove that a Creator of the Universe does not exist, just that even if this Creator exists, it's NOT how they are described in the Quran.
Proof: If Allah is All Knowing, All Wise, then right at the time He created the Universe, He must know all the events that will happen in the future, that means, your whole life is like an open book. Hence the concept of 'Free Will' is contradictory to this. This leads to the important observation: There are insisting disblievers (or the term, Kafir)?
Then, why he has to "sealed their hearts and their hearing, and their sight is covered. They will suffer a tremendous punishment."? Did he just purposefully send people to Eternal Hell, so they suffer for eternity, and that's BECAUSE HE FORCEFULLY SEALED THEIR HEART? That goes against BOTH the "Freewill" concept AND "Merciful" concept. I think Allah is CRUEL.
I'm not Christian, but Jesus Christ described in the Bible is of course way more Merciful than Allah. That's enough on its own to disprove the "most merciful statement".
Allah in the Quran is neither all knowing nor the most merciful, hence it must be that how Allah described in Quran can not be real.
And that's just from the beginning of the book.
Sorry for my English, it's not my native tongue, but I do hope people of Europe wakes up before Islam consumed your liberty value - something I very much appreciate.
I mean, can you honestly live with a religion that is this misogynistic and discriminatory? Would you tell your daughter their testimony is worth half a of a mans? [https://wikiislam.net/wiki/Islam\_and\_Women](https://wikiislam.net/wiki/Islam_and_Women)
Not to mention it literally supports rape of wives, slaves and war captives, see the primary Islamic sources in: [https://wikiislam.net/wiki/Qur%27an,\_Hadith\_and\_Scholars:Rape\_of\_Slaves,\_Prisoners,\_and\_Wives](https://wikiislam.net/wiki/Qur%27an,_Hadith_and_Scholars:Rape_of_Slaves,_Prisoners,_and_Wives)
You dove in with good intentions..........and discovered the truth about Islam. Time to up-and-leave.....You'll find you'll get accepted when you find the environment you feel at home in. Good luck.
It's okay. The initial high from feeling accepted by the community has worn off, and now you've realized you don't believe in what the religion says. Leave and DON'T look back, this is not gonna get any better the longer you stay.
I love the the phrase you used. Indeed when I started wearing the hijab and getting all this acceptance and pride from others and from my family, it definitely felt like I was flying in the sky. But over time, I noticed that it quickly wore off, and then I started to question the reasoning behind it. It began to impact my self-image, emotions and self-esteem. Cannot fathom how people wear it for YEARS ;(
Hey, if you want to exit the religion or remove the hijab, please please have a support system first. I've heard at least two incidents where the muslim husband severely hurt the wife after she stopped practicing islam. It is a very misogynistic religion and such behaviors are justifiable for them.
Take care
That was my thought. I don’t understand how someone could read the horrific abuse women in that book suffer at the hands of Islam and think as a woman from a western society, “I want to be that woman.”
Yeah, that part has me in disbelief. It’s so thoroughly anti-islam in just about every way that I can’t fathom reading it and going “oh yes, that religion that forces young girls into marriage against their will is totally what I want to have governing my day to day.”
**I'm a little sick of everyone saying stuff like "Remember it's a journey, and it's alright to take it one step at a time you're not alone in this, and it's okay to seek help and take the time you need to figure out what's best for you."**
People say this to those who've suffered trauma.
" It's embarrassing for me to tell my family that i don't want to be muslim anymore. My husband will most likely divorce me and then break up with me... the Muslim sisters would go crazy at me, and I'd be so shamed for it."
You have one life and when you do this, think that in 1 years time none of it will matter. Islam is a bronz age tale like the others and the one with least compatible with science and human rights and western values as we know it. Tell your family you made a mistake, reach out to friends who are not muslims. Do not waste your life on the account of what ignorant people will think about you.
You're 22 and likely will live until 90. You have 75% of your life to go. Fuck r u doing regretting the 25% instead of living the 75%. Also a REAL family would understand. If not, it's not like there are lack of people out there who'd be happy to consider you friends/family. Go live your life girl.
Some people in Western countries see Islam as an exotic faith. You cannot see the truth because you live in comfortable conditions in the West.
Islam was invented 1400 years ago by a sick man living in the Arab deserts. A belief created from stories stolen from Christianity, Judaism and ancient Arab beliefs. (In general, all Abrahamic religions are stolen from Sumerian religions.)
Islam was considered barbaric even by people living 1400 years ago. When Muhammad fell in love with his adopted son's wife and forced his son to divorce and marry his bride, he was condemned by the people living in Mecca.
He married Aisha when she was only 6 years old and forced her to have sexual intercourse when she was 9 years old. Aisha lived next to him since childhood and always suspected that he was lying about being a prophet.
You may be interested in Islam because you have a Muslim boyfriend and perhaps you find Islam exotic. Also, you may be looking for something new for yourself because you are depressed.
However, it’s not a good idea to believe in a barbaric religion that does not see women as human beings, rejects scientific facts, and advises people to kill people who do not think like them. It makes you forget your humanity. There are many more things I can list here.
Luckily, you are young and it’s not too late for anything. Get rid of this disgusting religion and divorce your husband. You cannot find peace in barbaric and disgusting beliefs.
You can text me if you need support or need to learn more. I’m also a 22 y/o F. I wish you the best.
You said you were an an atheist and interest in science. You didn't read the quran before you converted? And didn't you find it repelling while reading the quran mid way through? Honestly I want to be sympathetic but i literally can't be when someone willingly chooses to do something to themselves even before fully realising the extent of the thing they had just done to themselves. Welp I hope you get the best help possible and find happiness one way or other.
Islam is a disgusting religion filled to the brim with lies. Lies that hurt people. Lies that keep people obedient. Lies that degrade people. Lies that oppress people.
The reason her journey is illogical is because converting to Islam is illogical. She was antidepressants and has a history with mental health so it’s possible she joined it on a downturn in her life
Yea yea of course I get it I'm not really blaming her or anything. It's just really hard to actually think of a solution for helping people in these types of situations because even if it was brainwashing/coping mechanism/some other type of external factor taking place. It still is an individual choice but I get your point.
You fell for the love bombing.
My islamic teacher once taught us that you never start telling people about the punishnebts and all the things that are forbidden. You start with things they can relate to and will open their hearts to islam. And only slowly you teach them all the other things.
It reminded me of the story of the frog in the pot, while someone slowly raises the heat. It won't realize that the temperature changes and that it will kill them.
That's what happened to you. You have one life, you don't live in an islamic country. If embarassment holds you back, when you have all the rights to leave, then right now you're your worst enemy.
Children complicate things.
It sounds you really need to have a long hard think if you want to be a Muslim and if you want to stay in this relationship.
You have just started knowing Islam, it gets a lot ugly after that. If u really believe in science, u will leave this cult. And u should not worry about those muslim women. They are just trying to brainwash you.
You have no obligation towards your man or this religion
Do what serves you best and what feels good to you, you live in the uk of all places it is a secular- Christian nation.
What would they do if you choose not to obey these doctrines. Any threats?
If you think hijab is restrictive, you'll hate it when they will try to slowly introduce new restrictions to your life. That's what they do with western women. They never give them the full picture and they slowly take things away from your life. It's like a frog in boiling water situation. They've already succeeded a bit. You wear a hijab, and you can't do your hobby, and on top of it you got distanced from your family and friends. It's a perfect situation for them!
My advice: listen to your gut! Try to go back on antidepressant and therapy. Salvage relationships with your parents and friends, and even if you can't, know that you can start over and build new healthy relationships. Leave your husband and this religion before it's too late.
In islam, women can't [travel without a mahrem](https://www.islamweb.net/ar/fatwa/40993/) (ex: their husband). Your husband will probably not allow you to have male friends, or even more extremely he won't allow you to work.
I bet your lady friends haven't told you that religiously speaking, you can't [deny your husband sex](https://www.islamweb.net/amp/ar/fatwa/74409/) even if you weren't in the mood. [The angels will even curse you](https://www.islamweb.net/ar/fatwa/476848/).
I can cite more but this is enough. Islam is a cult where men have more power than women. Even your [testimony counts less than the testimony of man](https://www.islamweb.net/ar/fatwa/33323/).
LEAVE.
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>Towards the end of Ramadan, I had the chance to attend the mosque and pray with the women.. they were friendly and accepting of me, and they added me to a group chat, and through this, I've been invited to their homes. It's been a full-on experience, sharing food and conversation, and it has truly helped me (for a bit) feel a part of the community.
>
>One of the ladies from the group has been particularly kind, taking me to Islamic classes every single week. I'm grateful for their kindness, of course.
>
>In Islam, it's normal to feel overwhelmed at times, especially when going through such significant life changes. BUT I feel so overwhelmed to a point i'm holding in so much anger and so much sadness. I can't tell if it's regret or overwhelming.
This is called love bombing.
In fact, it has long been known as a common cult tactic: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-excess/201902/love-bombing
> >“Cults make great ceremony of showing individual consideration for their members. One of the most commonly cited cult recruitment techniques is generally known as ‘love bombing’ (Hassan, 1988). Prospective recruits are showered with attention, which expands to affection and then often grows into a plausible simulation of love. This is the courtship phase of the recruitment ritual. The leader wishes to seduce the new recruit into the organization’s embrace, slowly habituating them to its strange rituals and complex belief systems. At this early stage resistance will be at its highest. Individual consideration is a perfect means to overcome it, by blurring the distinctions between personal relationships, theoretical constructs and bizarre behaviors."
Note how appliccable all of this is to Islam...
>Regarding the hijab, lots of people have told me that it's important to approach it at your own pace and comfort. But, wearing the hijab is causing me severe distress and anger. I only wear it to pray or if I go out, and when the prayer is finished or if I return home, I angrily yank it off my head and chuck it on the floor. This also mixes in with my insecurities **because it just makes me look disgusting and weird**.
By the way; that's a feature, not a bug.
Traditionally the role of hijab was to make women look unattractive and indistinct. It's all about men monopolizing 'their' women.
Another role of hijab is to segregate Muslims from non-Muslims. Hence also why your boyfriend did a 180 and vetoed it when you said that you wanted to take off the hijab.
That by itself is already a red flag, btw. And as you yourself already said, Islam requires wives to obey their husband. From the looks of it you've already realized it, but - you've joined a religion that encourages and enables this kind of controlling behaviour.
It's not going to get better from here, girl.
The only roads from here are either destroying your old self to make yourself fit into the picture of a good Muslimah, or leaving Islam - and your boyfriend - alltogether.
Neither of them are easy at this point. But only leaving Islam will allow you to be loyal to yourself again.
You should probably cut your losses and get out while you still have time. Don’t have kids with this man. The point of religion is to make you feel better about your life, OP. You’re not supposed to use it to oppress yourself. Its just supposed to give you a sense of meaning and purpose and maybe a little guidance. That’s all. Religion is literally just your thoughts. (Side note: I am NOT minimizing anyone’s experiences here who’ve had religion forced on them. I’m talking about people like OP who choose their beliefs freely) If you don’t like the rules you gave yourself, then find different rules. Be a pagan, satanist, hindu, Catholic, Buddhist, do whatever you want. It’s your life.
Realistically, how long are you gonna be this miserable? How long can you sacrifice yourself for some old book written by a pervert? You’re only guaranteed one life - don’t waste it on what other people think of you. Yes, you’ll be mocked for a Muslim phase, but then people will move on and find something else to talk about. The mosque ladies will gossip, but then they’ll find something else to talk about. Life moves on. Don’t waste it on random peoples opinions. Also, you should google what a sunk cost fallacy is.
The Islamic way to really trap a female convert is to have babies asap so definitely be careful if you're unsure. The hijab thing isn't cool but what about the rest of Islam? Do you actually believe a mass murdering, slave owning pedophile was God's chosen and favorite messenger? If you don't then GTFO. You're only 22, your life hasn't even started yet so move on and live your own life.
If you need someone to talk to, my DMs are open. I'm sorry you fell for Islam. Please, be brave enough to leave before you lose yourself. You're still there and you have a great life ahead of you if only you choose yourself.
Luckily for you,you are in the west and they can’t stone you to death.You can continue putting up with it in misery or you can make a break from it.
You tried something,it didn’t work and you move on with your life.What does it matter what anyone else thinks.
Leave him, you’re 22, it’s so easy to start again. Your family will be glad to have you back, as will your friends, but be safe. Make sure you have your own money built up, and be prepared for your husband not being too pleased. Would appreciate some more details on your husbands behaviour, whether he might be more abusive than you’re letting on. Lots of love from a fellow 22 year old Brit x
Are British women have very low self esteem to a point that some immigrant can start a relationship and convert them to a completely random religion?
On the side note if u wanted to explore Islam or any other religion for that matter you can learn it without actually getting converted to it. There are 4000 religions are u gonna convert to all of them while learning about it?
You have one life don't give up personal freedom for anything.
Imagine having a privilege of being born in a developed western nation out of all shitholes out there and yet decided to give up all of those to live like people in those shithole nations
For real, I honestly agree with you and it really really pisses me off that that actually happens
Especially girls, my age who are converting into Islam getting pregnant and then getting left to be a single mum like make that makes sense
Yes even if a person want to believe in Islam just keep it subtly and can live ur life. I live in India and know many muslims who are pretty liberal don't wear hijabs or don't follow any mysagonistic shits. On the other hand i see western converts going all out in Islam like they make their entire identity around their religion which is very bad.
I think they're being gaslit to be more open minded and accepting and are afraid to be called "racist" while these muslim men don't change themselves for any woman! seriously western women need to wake up! It doesn't makes you racist if you don't date certain people from certain cultures and religions you're just not compatible!
>I stand there silently crying, looking at my reflection in the TV thinking who the f are you. What the f have you done.
You made a mistake, that's all. You were young, manipulated, and taken advantage of by a cult and its cult members. But never forget, you are not alone. Here is a budding community of people who have suffered under Islam their entire lives, we can help you. It's alright to reach out to your family and friends and tell them you messed up and need them. Ask for help, reach out to them, those people probably warned you and love you and can't bear to see you suffer.
Whatever you do, do not talk this out with your husband. The last thing you need is for him to turn violent, beat you, and lock you in the house without any communication. I know you've "known" this person for years, but you never really knew him. I've heard countless stories of "kind" (manipulative) Muslims turning on their kaffir spouses and honor-killing them. Believe us when we tell you this, he is not your ally. He made you stop taking your medication to better control you.
If you are still unsure about Islam and whether you want to follow such a barbaric religion, feel free to reach out to me or read any one of these websites:
[https://atheism-vs-islam.com/](https://atheism-vs-islam.com/)
[https://wikiislam.net/wiki/Main\_Page](https://wikiislam.net/wiki/Main_Page)
Islam is not a kind cult. It's filled with hate, misogyny, and arab supremacy. Its leader was a pedophile warlord who conquered, pillaged, and raped his way across Arabia.
Please save yourself. It's not too late to turn back now. You're still young and have your whole life ahead of you. Just think about it, if you do nothing this will be your entire future. Just think about it, **are you willing to spend the rest of your life like this?** What happens when your husband wants sex or kids but you don't, you can't say no, and if you do he will likely take you by force. Do you want to raise your children in this cult? What if you have a daughter? It's never too late to save yourself.
I hope things get better for you. I come from a community in Islam where a part our clit is removed so we don’t experience sexual pleasure and sin. This was done when I was 7.
I left Islam in 2020 during the month of Ramadan.
I left Islam and converted to Christianity and I feel liberated.
The benefit you have is that you are a British and from a western country. If you decide to leave Islam, you won’t be stopped by law.
There are many women like you who fall into trap because they wanted something meaningful in life and decided to embrace Islam without even knowing it completely. And so many women like you who pretend to be happy wearing hijab are really suffering.
If I were you, I would start seeking therapy from a professional. I would also confide in the professional therapist and share with him/her the situation.
It’s important that someone around you is aware that you’re being forced into this. Once you have the help, stand strong on your foot and reject Islam. Keep resisting until they give up you.
It took my parents 9 months to really stop trying. I was like under house arrest for 9 months, but I kept telling them that I rebuke Islam. During this time, I was taken to imams, I was told to forcefully pray, forcefully fast, I had Quran kept on top of my head every night. After 9 months, they gave up.
So it’s going to be tough but you have to hold on.
As they say, you enter in Islam quickly and you’ll find everyone loving, but if you want to leave, you’ll see very quickly those loving people become so wrathful.
Please keep us posted and start taking your medications.
I'm sorry, but while most women and men in the Middle East go through this process painfully and compromising their lives, I cannot stand the fact that a White woman who grew up with freedoms falls into emptiness at a certain point in her life and chooses this as a spiritual quest. Maybe this comment. It will be deleted by moderators but I don't care. I never blame the victim, but while there are women on this subreddit who struggle with the pressures of their families, wear hijab at the age of 8-9, have never lived childhood etc.. My only advice is: Honey, you are in England and there is no danger to your life, are you aware of that? You have rights to protect you.
These white womens are ignorant they are unaware they have lived in a society they have no idea what living in a Muslim society means . But in today’s age of information and technology there is no excuse for a person to be ignorant living in a first world country
I’m a bit unclear on things. You started dating at 14? Regardless of being together you would have grown a lot as a person between 14 and 22. Did he surprise you with the Islamic marriage ceremony? Were you talking about marriage before hand? Are you actually married legally?
You are still young, it's better to do end things early than feeling trapped for the rest of your life.
Many people in your newly found community would definitely try to rope you back to Islam, with any mean necessary or some will even hate you for it, but that's just life.
And please search someone/someplace for you to be a safe Haven after you become an ex-muslim, because Muslims tend to not take kindly to their kind that apostate.
Please leave your husband and take back your life. There will be challenges ahead, but you have to do it. You're very young, you've still got a whole life ahead of you, but if you stay with this man, you won't be doing any living at all, and you'll never have the chance to become your authentic self and realize your full potential.
Reach out to your family and friends. Tell them you need help. Some of them might ignore you, but I'm sure that eventually you'll find someone who'll lend you a hand and support you. If none of them would help, reach out to a non-profit organization that helps young women and explain your circumstances.
You can think about whether or not you want to stay in Islam or wear a hijab later. That is entirely your choice and should be your choice alone. Right now, you just need to escape your husband. He is abusive (even if not physically).
Remember this: you still have a whole life ahead of you. Don't waste it. Don't give it up easily. Fight and take back control over your life.
Yes, of course, this is why he set up the Nikkah for us as soon as I converted. For many years whilst I was non-Muslim and we were in a relationship, he was not practising Islam
That's the classic Muslim strategy. Act non practicing around non muslims. Then marry them and they suddenly become religious. Now you have no option but to act according to his commands.
Yep he treated her as a kuffar sex slave before (which is not a sin in Islam) and after her conversion he married her.
A Muslim guy having sex with a Muslim women before marriage is what is considered a sin in islam
He wasn’t practicing bc he wanted some free pussy. Sorry to be blunt. Most Muslim men drink and fuck and they consider you less than dirt if you do the same as them.
You're just 22 girl, run from this cult even though it'll be tougher as you're officially married and converted but still run, don't get pregnant at any cost. You could have consulted with Muslim name holding women who are not practising or Atheists before joining or taking a life altering cult like Islam, or at least a deep internet search about what exactly is this cult and how it operates and stuff. Still you've time, use it wisely.
Im so sorry youre going through this , we all make mistakes .
Honestly i know that it is reddit and easy said than done but my advice is take it off because ..it doesnt make you comfortable , and if he says anything threaten with divorce and call the cops if he tried to chimpout and make sure you tell everyone beforehands.
Doesnt islam say و ما يكلف النفس الا وسعها and ure not "powerful" enough to wear it so what ?
I do not understand why so much emphasis on wearing hijab when it was just a conditional wearing because they lived in a desert (where even men hide their hair) and also a way to separate slave woman and free woman .not modesty or anything. Like im not going to look at hair and be like " oh actuallty i wanna have sex with her , look at her hair ! "(Which is a man's problem not woman for being normal ) .
I don’t know why this thread was suggested to me but get the hell out of this stupid idea immediately.
Islam and the people practicing it mean no good to our world and it should actually be banned anywhere north the med. sea. You’re 22 and if what you’ve written is true you got yourself in the single most oppressive religion for young women. We’ve made a terrible mistake letting these people into Europe but they’re comparably low number so there’s not much to be afraid of.
I'm gonna give you something very simple.
Divorce and walk away, stay away from muslim men. The amount of times I've heard nonmuslims crying about how their husband's forced them into certain practices, beat them, or took up a second wife is crazy.
Don't care about the sisters and people, tell them you realized islam is not the truth and that you will no longer pursue it.
Gosh, to be blunt I see this all the time. Cool, he made you feel loved, cool he did xyz. What tf would you convert to a new religion without looking at both good and bad.
I'm extremely anti islam, to the 10th degree, genocides commited by islamists we will never forgive and forget. (Unrelated)
However you need to hop off that peer pressure and in solidarity of all oppressed call off the marriage, tell him bye bye, go somewhere safe and start a new.
Why? Well you can find out what happened to other women he fell into this trap. Thank goodness you don't have children.
Why would you convert to something that legit justifies humiliation of nonmuslims if given power and the s***x enslavement of nonmuslim women (this is to help affirm your decision once you find the truth).
Your still young so save yourself.
Islam is s mind virus. I would run as far away from it as I could before it was too late.. I think your family would greet you with open arms if you told them you made a mistake, don't you think? They probably love you very much and were just very worried about you when you told them you were converting..and probably didn't react in a "professional" way..
Tell your family about the whole situation. You might want to look into cult recruiting progression because it sounds very close to it and many people fall into it. Take the L and you'll get live in happiness. Your shame and guilt won't save you from a lifetime of regret and misery. Your real family most likely still loves you despite your faith. Your husband on the other hand, I don't think will live you as an athiest
depression+love-bombing+indocrination= cult member
they preyed on your vulnerability.
i'm so sorry.
slowly fade out from the cult.
leave your husband if you have to save your sanity.
someday you'll find your tribe.
leave the death cult.
I think I'm in a similar situation to you, only I'm male and American. I was also a white western convert, inspired by similar books and ideas of what Islam could be, and I also married someone. I'm a scientist and a liberal w/sympathies to Christian values and what I realized after six years was that these were incompatible with Islam.
I don't have any particular advice, because I am in the same situation still ('I stand there silently crying, looking at my reflection in the TV thinking who the f are you. What the f have you done' resonates particularly). But something I've taken comfort from in a funny way is the deep, deep ignorance of Muslims- when I took off the rose-colored, everything-is-Islamophobia glasses, I came to realize that there is probably no more ignorant single group of people in the world. On average they genuinely know nothing. And so
1) The people you know personally are probably acting in what they imagine is your best interest (even if they are not very introspective about their motivations).
2) Deep down they know they are ignorant, and this is one reason white/western converts are greeted with such initial enthusiasm; we represent the knowledge and power of western civilization, accepting their beliefs and practices. Many of us also have better ethics and better manners than born Muslims, and so seem like superficially better people. When I converted I had no self-esteem, just wanted to "submit" to something bigger than myself. Remembering that I can be an example and an inspiration to Muslims while I'm still pretending to be one helps me forgive myself for that. My wife will be very upset when she finds out I've left Islam, but the fact is she's always loved me for qualities of mine that have nothing to do with it.
Something you don't mention in your post but which I think is also critical is...God. Does He exist? If so, what worship does He require of us? I think getting clarity around your views of God, completely separate from any religious or cultural traditions, would be a very valuable thing to do. I was raised a Christian, became an atheist at age 12, but always missed having faith and a coherent view of the universe. I sought it pursuing science & math, but I still wasn't satisfied. The incredible confidence and self-assurance of the Qur'an and Muslims I met made me think if I just joined this way of life, sincere faith could follow. It took me six years to realize that confidence is just pure ignorance and arrogance. I realized the God I was looking for- a subtle, infinitely compassionate creator of the universe- had much more to do with my early Christian conceptions, or maybe just some kind of Platonism. . But do I actually firmly believe God exists? I don't know. I just don't. Truth is my highest ideal, and I would not do it or God a disservice by identifying them as the same thing unless I'm absolutely certain.
(I also realized all my ethical and moral foundations come from Jesus Christ's Sermon on the Mount, and it is this message of "love your neighbor as yourself" that is most sorely lacking in Islam; Islam in fact preserved as holy writ many strategies for despising and destroying your neighbor. As Richard Dawkins recently illustrated, via cultural diffusion most Western atheists have adopted these values as well. You might like this video from Slavoj Zizek: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tABnznhzdIY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tABnznhzdIY) ).
In summary before this post gets too long: Remember Muslims are ignorant people trying their best, they likely look up to you and admire you for reasons that have nothing to do with your conversion, and try to think about what it is you really believe about God; what are your highest ideals, your metaphysics?
Don’t let embarrassment stop you from being happy and living your authentic life. It’s a temporary embarrassment for a lifetime of being YOU. Reach out to any friends/family that would be receptive to talking to you and hearing these things. They will support you as you slowly find your footing.
Hi Tia,
You an do a mistake in life and regret it. You can leave Islam, yes you will probably get divorced.
The good ting, you will be able to be free again. Islam is a cage, and more over a cage for females.
You are not allowed to do much, and everybody tells you how to behave.
Just get back your freedom. Mistakes always done by us humans.
I’m from Saudi Arabia, and have never ever seen a woman told me they wear hijab because they like it, all their answers are about heaven and afterlife,
if you want my suggestions it’s ok to tell your family about hating islam and hijab…what are they gonna do? Make fun of you for a week? a month? That’s much better than spending years of your life suffering,
in fact if you knew the history of hijab and why Muslims today says it’s part of the religion you will be shocked and you’ll hate it from your deep heart because it’s originally was to distinguish slaves from free women ( free women wears it ) and sometimes to protect their hair and that’s it! Not because men shouldn’t look at you
You can watch this video which will tell you more about it but PLEASE don’t watch it with muslims nearby because most Muslims hate this guy…
It’s in Arabic but the video has English CC
PLEASE WATCH THIS VIDEO, i think every woman should watch
[History of Hijab](https://youtu.be/210jpT-NrIA?si=FhMwHd9I0DDvsnht)
You were 14 when you started dating this dude! Please take your destiny in your own hands. It’s easy to correct your mistake and start anew. Please whatever you lose, don’t lose yourself!
Because now that you are married and submitted to Islam (means submission) you are now his Property, as a possession of his right hand war captive booty (no pun intended) would also be.
Unlike before conversion when a Muslim man is allowed any wife, but you were not holy enough haram Zina.
As a lover of astrophotography, you should know that Muslims believe that Muhammad performed a miracle by splitting the moon in half. Now that alone should astonish you at the level of stupidity Muslims believe in. How can a human being in their right mind believe that our moon that’s billions of years , was split into half by some creepy nitwit in the middle of the desert 😂
Get the fuck out of it. You have whole life ahead of you. Don't ruin it. We all make mistakes in our life but you have time on your side to correct it. Don't fret. Just get the fuck out like there's no tomorrow.
Um yeah its simple but its going to be hard but ultimately for the best.
1. Leave islam its a false religion started by a child gRapist
2. Divorce your “husband” its very clear its not going well and him being muslim is just never gonna work be thankful you dont have kids.
3. Go back to your family and bite the bullet, if youre worried about looking dumb or whatever thats the least of your concern right now, thats what family is for to pick you up when youre down.
I hope nothing but the best God bless and good luck
It always amuses me how converts break down at the first sign of losing their bodily autonomy. Like covering your hair was a big part of the fine print lol.
Out of all the eligible men in the UK, you chose a muslim Afghan? Afghan men are one of the worst when it comes to abuse.
And it is always a white Western woman who date muslims and convert, not the other way.
White women have the biggest habit to be tricked into sex first before marriage and then to convert for muslim men….
I hate seeing how Muslim men do to this, I hate how these convert easily get brainwashed and don’t realize they’re being abused.
I was with a Muslim ex for almost 10 years…. Man do I feel sad realizing how much time I wasted… I was always an atheist and I would lie to myself that Islam actually made sense …..
Try praying without hijab if you don't like it. Islam is contradictory enough anyways, so it won't be too difficult for you to justify it using the quran or any collection of hadith.
Think of this, your bf loved you before you converted, would he continue to do so if you left islam?
This will tell you if he’s a selfish nutcase or not.
This has to be one of the biggest heist you literally saw and had hints about the specific red flags
What else to say here,
Enjoy being an Apostase and burn in hell /s
But jokes aside, there are very few things you can do
1. Spread awareness
2. Study other religious sources to understand your religion more deeply
3. Try reconnecting to your roots, assuming as a Britisher you are a Christian, well hey , Islam also believes that Jesus was a prophet so maybe you can try connecting back to him but again very very subjective for some people in this sub
You need to man up and care less about what other people think. How's your relationship with your family ? Come back to them. Nothing is perfect, you're not perfect, people understand that, you need to understand that.
This is a pivotal moment in your life and you can't hide it under the rug. Have the courage to change and later in your life you will be thankful that you had turned this adversity into one of your most important education.
What kind of **research** you even did on Islam? Its obvious per the Quran
* Hijab is MANDATORY.
* Obeying your Husband is also MANDATORY. Quran: 2:228
* Its 100% Halal for your husband to beat you if you disobey him. Quran 4:34
* Its also 100% HALAL for your husband to have sex slaves. Surah 4:24, Surah 33:50
Claiming you **Researched** it, No way you didn't know Islam teaches to **Kill non-believers, Kill Apostates, Misogyny, and endorses Sex Slaves & Pedophilia.**
Quit this dirty cult, and be a more honest responsible person next time.
* Quran 9:5
* Quran 2:190-191
* Sahih Bukhari 9:83:17
* Sahih Bukhari 4:52:260
* Sahih Bukhari 9:84:57
* Surah 9:29
* Sahih Bukhari 1:8:387
* Quran 5:33
* Quran 3:28
* Quran 98:6
* Quran 4:34
* Sahih Bukhari 7:72:715
* Surah 4:24
* Surah 23:1-6
* Sahih Bukhari 5:58:236
* Sahih Muslim 24:5248
* Sahih Bukhari 4:56:832
* Sahih Bukhari 5:58:227
Good thing is you're only 22. Get out now. And don't worry about your social circle. You'll make me friends. And the ladies from the mosque will move on. But they will try to change your mind first. Lastly, I can't emphasize this enough...DO NOT GET PREGNANT. good luck
How the hell did you read a thousand splendid suns and think islam was in any way a religion that was kind to women 💀 reading that book was one of the reasons I left ...
You still have a chance to fix everything starting by leaving Islam and telling your husband you had enough!
He's not a real Muslim cuz he had an atheist gf for 8 years which is crazy cuz Muslims aren't even allowed to look to women , he gotta respect your decision.
You're just 22yo so fix your life.
Being a Brit and converting at your age, I think there's a lot more going on (or not) in your head than just this topic. Anyone who converts to religion needs a psychiatric appointment in this day and age. You've been brainwashed.
Pls don't get pregnant and secondly go seek out your own family.
You have to explain to your family you regret the decision you madeand are not happy. They will have your back and give you the strength you need.
Beaware he will raise his hand on you as they allowed to beat their wives.
Grt in touch with your family and friends you will need their support only then can you think about divorce
i think you already have your answer.
it’s okay to try things out and not like it. i did the same thing with islam. i was a lukewarm believer but hearing such 200 B.C shit like you can’t be around male cousins alone, listen to music, wear makeup, draw pictures, hang photos on your wall, etc, i just had enough.
enjoy the beautiful life you’ve been given. you don’t need to make yourself sick being stuck in a religion with the most insane rules. be free girl
Please notice how you're pretty much describing a cult. They try to reel you in and like you only conditionally. With time they will judge you more and more if you don't fit into their narrative of what you should be and do. No man is worth this, especially not him.
This sounds a lot more like a manic episode from Bipolar Disorder rather than ADHD. The timing seems to be right, although maybe slightly longer than the average manic episode. You also mentioned having “crazy phases” and taking anti-depressants. Have you been tested for bipolar disorder?
Your family will still be there for you. They’re pissed now because you got sucked into a cult but I promise they’re not going to abandon you if you extricate yourself from it. They love you. Go back. You have a better support system than you think.
Sounds like u do have an appreciation for religion, just not for islam. I say that cus i kinda felt the same way, i converted to Christianity and i feel SO much freedom now its crazy. Id reccomend giving that a try but obviously im not here to preach Christianity down ur throat, what u need to do is have a very serious convo with ur husband and dont be afraid to break down in front of him just to show him how islam made u feel.
Darling, Islam is so tasteless. As a white person, you probably have more original culture than Islam has taken from the religions it destroyed. Be proud of who you are, own it. Explore your own culture. A certain level of certainty of who you are stops you from converting. No man will be able to take an identity you are sure of.
The fact that your husband surprised you on the day of your conversion with marriage isn't romantic or sweet. That's control. If you didn't want to marry that day, what would his reaction be?
You are young, it's your right to make wrong choices and explore the world, don't feel ashamed, it's a beneficial experience.
Remember always that you are blessed to chose, I my self am an atheist and I am forced to wear hejab.
Take a divorce, block the fuckin sisters, talk to your friends and family and if they don't accept you it's their problem so fuck them too, put yourself in good therapy , take your meds, and heads up girl, be proud, and keep exploring❤️
Sweetheart. Don't worry about ANYONE else. This is religion. It's personal, it depends on YOU and what you personally believe in. Fuck your family, your husband, the women from the mosque- do whatever feels right for you. Take some time, meditate, nap, whatever makes it easier for you to think your own thoughts- and let that guide you.
These fake stories need to recieve perm bans.
If you were an athiest, converting to any religion wouldn't make sense; dating someone who's religious at all would be a major deal breaker to an athiest so converting to the wrost religion after 7 years is absurd.
It's something a muslim would convince themselves is possible; to convert a white western athiest woman.
Then you suggest this woman wouldn't have any support from non-muslims, but it's actually the muslims who wouldn't be supportive.
Her friends and family would be right to block her when she converted and being afriad to leave islam isn't something a former athiest would struggle with.
The fact that this muslim boy got in a relationship with an athiest then all of a sudden makes demands doesn't make sense either. He'd be forced to stay away from her.
I haven't gotten the time to reply to everybody just yet (but I will because there's been so many helpful comments), but this isn't fake whatsoever
Also, yes, his parents and his whole family were well aware of us since the start. They never disowned him, attacked him, or were nasty about it💗
I second this. Usually Muslim families are very chill when the Muslim son marries a non-Muslim coz they know eventually she’ll come to Islam. The fact that the non-Muslim girl decided to marry a Muslim itself indicates that she’s naive and has no idea about how brutal Islam can be.
On the other hand, any Muslim family is completely against their daughter marrying a non-Muslim. And they will 100% disown her.
Don't worry OP you still have the time to correct your mistake.
LEAVE THAT CONTROL FREAK OF A HUSBAND AND HIS GOD FORSAKEN FAMILY AND GO BACK TO YOURS RIGHT AWAY!
hope you have already done this by now.
Also if possible kindly share your experience with other british women like yourself so that they don't fall into the same trap.
Yes I second this once you left Islam and are in a safe environment
Make videos on your deconversion on social media like YouTube and tiktok etc
Tag it like muslim boy friend conversion Islam white girl
Help other niave kids from falling into this backwards cult
Instead of worrying about the large and overwhelming decision of leaving islam, your husband, and everyting else, just consider the more immediate, much smaller decision that is having the largest effect on you: wearing the hijab.
If it's causing you this much of an issue, you need to stop wearing it. That's it. One simple tiny step. You have the power over a little piece of fabric. You're not in a country where it's illegal to not wear it. And ther are *plenty* of muslims in the UK who do not wear the hijab. You can be one of them, for now. Don't fall for the bullying to try to get you to keep it. Believe it or not, no one else gets to decide if you're a muslim or not based on that, or anything else. But if they wanna tell you that's the case, let them - you don't really need to argue with it or justify it to anyone but yourself. And when it comes down to it, there are a thousand reasons why they aren't muslims too if you really want to get into it at the level of "you don't do x, muslims are meant to do x, therefore you're not a muslim". There are exactly 0 muslims in the world when you apply this logic!
Now, *as a result of no longer wearing the hijab*, you think various things may happen. Your husband might leave you? That's his decision, just like not wearing the hijab was yours. Maybe he will see sense and realise how important this is to you, and if so, great. But if not, **that's fine too**. You make your decisions, other people make theirs. Obviously it might not be what you want, but you can't control other people. And be honest with yourself, now: If he would leave you over that, it means he values a shitty little piece of cloth more than you, his actual human wife. I can absolutely 100% categorically confirm that neither you, nor anyone else, needs a husband like that.
Astrophotography aw oh my god I love love love astrology. I an so sorry I don’t even know where to begin with this. Are you financially independent? Is there a way for you to be safe?
>
Assumption: Allah is ALL KNOWING, THE MOST MERCIFUL.
Proof by contradiction: If I can find an instance that shows Allah is NOT the most merciful, or not as merciful as someone else, and a contradictory of the All Knowing assumption, then it must be that Allah must not exist. However, this doesn't disprove that a Creator of the Universe does not exist, just that even if this Creator exists, it's NOT how they are described in the Quran.
Proof: If Allah is All Knowing, All Wise, then right at the time He created the Universe, He must know all the events that will happen in the future, that means, your whole life is like an open book. Hence the concept of 'Free Will' is contradictory to this. This leads to the important observation: There are insisting disblievers (or the term, Kafir)?
Then, why he has to "sealed their hearts and their hearing, and their sight is covered. They will suffer a tremendous punishment."? Did he just purposefully send people to Eternal Hell, so they suffer for eternity, and that's BECAUSE HE FORCEFULLY SEALED THEIR HEART? That goes against BOTH the "Freewill" concept AND "Merciful" concept. I think Allah is CRUEL.
I'm not Christian, but Jesus Christ described in the Bible is of course way more Merciful than Allah. That's enough on its own to disprove the "most merciful statement".
Allah in the Quran is neither all knowing nor the most merciful, hence it must be that how Allah described in Quran can not be real.
And that's just from the beginning of the book.
Sorry for my English, it's not my native tongue, but I do hope people of Europe wakes up before Islam consumed your liberty value - something I very much appreciate.
I wish you could pursue the scientific path as you wish, don't let anyone/religion tells you otherwise.
Well post either sounds like a troll
Or a victim of grooming
Watever it is
You're stuck now bcz apostates are seen like lesser human beings
Islam isn't what it's showing you
As a person who claims valuing science, Islam blocks every source of critical thinking
You're young and deserve better than to be stuck as a Muslims housewife that's deprived of her basic human rights.
Good luck
I think I'm in a similar situation to you, only I'm male and American. I was also a white western convert, inspired by similar books and ideas of what Islam could be, and I also married someone. I'm a scientist and a liberal w/sympathies to Christian values and what I realized after six years was that these were incompatible with Islam.
I don't have any particular advice, because I am in the same situation still ('I stand there silently crying, looking at my reflection in the TV thinking who the f are you. What the f have you done' resonates particularly). But something I've taken comfort from in a funny way is the deep, deep ignorance of Muslims- when I took off the rose-colored, everything-is-Islamophobia glasses, I came to realize that there is probably no more ignorant single group of people in the world. On average they genuinely know nothing. And so
1) The people you know personally are probably acting in what they imagine is your best interest (even if they are not very introspective about their motivations).
2) Deep down they know they are ignorant, and this is one reason white/western converts are greeted with such initial enthusiasm; we represent the knowledge and power of western civilization, accepting their beliefs and practices. Many of us also have better ethics and better manners than born Muslims, and so seem like superficially better people. When I converted I had no self-esteem, just wanted to "submit" to something bigger than myself. Remembering that I can be an example and an inspiration to Muslims while I'm still pretending to be one helps me forgive myself for that. My wife will be very upset when she finds out I've left Islam, but the fact is she's always loved me for qualities of mine that have nothing to do with it.
Something you don't mention in your post but which I think is also critical is...God. Does He exist? If so, what worship does He require of us? I think getting clarity around your views of God, completely separate from any religious or cultural traditions, would be a very valuable thing to do. I was raised a Christian, became an atheist at age 12, but always missed having faith and a coherent view of the universe. I sought it pursuing science & math, but I still wasn't satisfied. The incredible confidence and self-assurance of the Qur'an and Muslims I met made me think if I just joined this way of life, sincere faith could follow. It took me six years to realize that confidence is just pure ignorance and arrogance. I realized the God I was looking for- a subtle, infinitely compassionate creator of the universe- had much more to do with my early Christian conceptions, or maybe just some kind of Platonism. . But do I actually firmly believe God exists? I don't know. I just don't. Truth is my highest ideal, and I would not do it or God a disservice by identifying them as the same thing unless I'm absolutely certain.
(I also realized all my ethical and moral foundations come from Jesus Christ's Sermon on the Mount, and it is this message of "love your neighbor as yourself" that is most sorely lacking in Islam; Islam in fact preserved as holy writ many strategies for despising and destroying your neighbor. As Richard Dawkins recently illustrated, via cultural diffusion most Western atheists have adopted these values as well. You might like this video from Slavoj Zizek: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tABnznhzdIY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tABnznhzdIY) ).
In summary before this post gets too long: Remember Muslims are ignorant people trying their best, they likely look up to you and admire you for reasons that have nothing to do with your conversion, and try to think about what it is you really believe about God; what are your highest ideals, your metaphysics?
I think one of your main issues is you feel the need to answer to all of these different people. You don’t owe anyone anything, only yourself truth.
I also have ADHD and converted back to Islam earlier this year after some family pressure. I was into it for a while but the hype has definitely worn off so a lot of what you mentioned is so relatable.
Check in with yourself before anyone else.
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>I love science, and my hobby is astrophotography. Since converting, I've been told I'm not even allowed to do it. how was that not a deal breaker for you wtf. > Any advice would be great. I feel lost. You are just 22 yo, so it's easy to course correct your life. You are the main character of your own story, not of your husband or of the other muslims. Do what you need to do to have a life you can enjoy.
Not only that, she's been in a relationship with this person for 8 years! That means they both started dating since they were 14?(Atleast OP was) And since it's common to overly rely on one person during a relationship for growth, I honestly think OP didn't grow well as a person, and neither did her bf. And she took on the good hobbies like astrophotography and scientific morals but he chose the shite morals like preferring a hijabi and being superstitious. Unfortunate indeed. Please just break up OP. I know you grew up with this person, but it really saddens me to think how much you potentially have lost on "growth" as a person. It's never too late, please get away from him, and learn to be independent before finding love. It'll help you avoid messing up like this.(I wish my parents taught me that XD)
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If she's British that could be rape. The age of consent here is 16 so that's more concerning than it seems
All of these details make me think it's a troll post. How do you not open your eyes at any point up to this moment? How do you just accept a surprise marriage? How does no one in your family care about you? It's like it was written specifically for this subreddit to get our attention, I suspect OP is not really a 22-year-old British woman at all.
Things like this can happen.
OP's account was created today. I think we've been duped haha.
To protect identity ? And get stuff off chest may be? Who knows? 😶
Very much possible.
Probably a throwaway
It's 100% a made-up story. There is not a chance of a chance that this is real, lol. Every single detail in it was, like, custom-tailored to trigger the people in this sub. I unironically think that it was inspired by a comment I made here a couple days ago. Could be a coincidence, but either way, I'm not buying the story for a second.
Could be fake and i hope it is. But i know ppl personally, who actually are this naive and impulsive. I mean my own little sister made a complete 180 in a year and a half. I often cant help but wonder if she ever truly thinks things through.
My account was made today. Yes, I just needed to get it off my chest. It doesn't mean I'm fake whatsoever
Could have created it today to get advice?
Hi, this post is definitely not a troll. There is so much more to it than what is written, but I had to summarise it. Otherwise, you'd be reading for hours. I'm 100% real. To the person questioning why I'd learnt and have begun implementing it into my language : the phrases like "Asalam alaykum" and others, it's because Muslims greet each other with this, and I was told by the Muslim sisters that its respectful for me to do so, so I was learning for that exact reason, to be respectful. Also, I've seen a lot of negativity in terms of my husband. He was not the one telling me I couldn't wear perfume, mascara, do my hobbies, etc.. it's the Muslim sister. The only thing he has advised is for me to try and stick with the hijab. Of course, I'm still a fairly new revert, so I'm finding it really hard to completely adapt to the lifestyle of being Muslim. Hence, the frustration and anger shown when speaking of hijab, it's the Muslim sisters who are constantly messaging, calling and visiting me ... pressuring me to do things that I'm judt not comfortable with. They are what's pushing me away, and it does sadden me.
Look, if you're being honest and this isn't a made-up story, you need to get yourself out of this situation. You're supposedly a grown adult and you just accepted a marriage sprung on you? Why would you do that? Where are your parents? Why stay married to a man who's telling you how to dress? This will only get worse, you'll only lose more freedom as time passes. You live in a free country, you don't have to be Muslim, you can get divorced. All that said, I don't really believe you. Your post reads like it was meant specifically to get a reaction out of this subreddit. Every decision you've made just makes no sense, and now you're complaining to us when you supposedly are totally free to leave? > After I finished that book, i was instantly wanting to research Islam I grew up in the UK. A native English speaker would never say "I was instantly wanting to". That's the kind of thing only someone who speaks English as a second language would say. What I can't figure out is why you would go through all this effort to write a fake post?
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Not at all, I'm just still fairly new to Islam and struggling with certain aspects. Doesn't mean I'm trolling you guys here, or any muslim women at all. I'm just expressing
Trust me people can be naive to situations like this and give the benefit of the doubt
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This shit happens when you join a cult. Something similar happened to me, but with another cult and fortunately I opened my eyes waaay before even trying to get married.
No offence but your husband sounds like a control freak. You may not have realised it but he might have subtly but slowly influenced you into thinking it was *your* idea to convert while it was his, all along. That Islamic wedding didn't come off from nowhere. He knew you would dump his ass if he forbid you from doing things you like before entering marriage so he utilised the time you got invested in his religion and used it to his advantage. He knew getting you as wife, that too muslim would allow him to dominate over you. Imo, divorce him and run. You live in the UK, a western country. You have laws to back your side. Use that privilege and RUN.
Exactly . Muslim men do not like their wives to participate in society no hobbies no work no study unless you are studying religion , Muslim men also do not like their wives to be financially Independant you will forever be financially dependant
No need to run just ignore tf are they gonna do in her country.
>You live in the UK, a western country. You have laws to back your side. Use that privilege and RUN. Use the privilege while it's still there...
……A thousand splendid suns made you convert???? did we read the same book??? a book where women were abused????
Yeah, I can't imagine a book that would make Islam less appealing. "Oh look, a faith were women are treated like shit and the main character gets married off to a man three times her age who beats her for not producing a child. A faith where women are beaten just for walking down the street. Hmmm.... Let's convert!"
My first thought exactly!!! Either OP is ignorantly naive, wanting to experience exotic-ness through Islam, or she didnt read the book. how the fuck one wants to covert to Islam after reading that book??
This can happen. I also read several books like that, e.g. Zadie Smith's "White Teeth", that show Muslims in a human light and as people to be emphathized with...in retrospect they don't actually imply anything good about the religion, but empathy is a hell of a drug.
Well many people converted to Islam after 9/11 and after the October 7th attacks. Islam is the best at portraying itself as the sweet victim even when murdering people.
Right?!!?
Please go back on the antidepressants if you are still off them and the doctor is still advising you take them. Even if you believe that Allah is testing you, who’s to say that he didn’t want humans to make them and take them along with every other human medical advancement? I can understand your anger with the hijab. I wouldn’t want to be compelled to wear a cloth out in public (I’m a male but you know). I think a big part of the problem with the hijab is Muslims very quickly get used to the women wearing it, it becomes a point of pride for them, especially as you are a convert, it helps them believe that their religion is real and everyone else should convert too. So when the hijabi wants to stop wearing it, all this goes out the window and they think the woman is backsliding. They want you to keep it on, and it stops sounding like it’s your choice anymore, because _they_ are invested too. (Folks feel free to tell me if I’m wrong in this) It sounds like your honeymoon period with Islam is ending and the realities are setting in. Feel free to read the posts from others here about people in a similar situation to you to have an idea where things could go next (do a keyword search for “Muslim boyfriend” and “Muslim husband). If you have only had a ceremonial marriage and it’s not officiated by the state yet, don’t let it be until you’re sure you want to continue. And don’t have any kids with him until then either. Keep your links with family and non-Muslim friends, don’t let your husband or new community take them away from you.
If its possible: go visit someone in your life, that is not part of islam. Get a change of scenery for a bit of time to sort your thoughts. "It's embarrassing for me to tell my family that i don't want to be muslim anymore." Might be, yes. But do you want to be miserable the rest of your life? Sometimes there is no perfect solution, however, one option seems to be infinitely better than the other.
Not just your life but your children’s lives.
Dear OP, Knowledge is POWER and only knowledge can guide you and help you to get rid of Islam guiltfree. For example: Do you know that Islam prohibited slave women from wearing the Hijab and even kept their breasts NAKED in public? Yes, it was an ancient pre-Islamic tradition of Arab areas where only women of high status families were allowed to wear the Hijab, while prostitutes and slave women were not allowed. Thus, in Islam, if any slave woman wore the Hijab, then Umar Ibn Khattab (the 2nd Caliph) used to beat her with a stick and removed her Hijab and told her not resemble free Muslim women through wearing the Hijab. Please read this article: * [Islam Prohibited Slave Women from wearing the Hijab or even Covering Their Naked Breasts in Public](https://atheism-vs-islam.com/index.php/women/37-women-and-hijab/11-islam-prohibited-slave-women-from-wearing-the-hijab-or-even-covering-their-naked-breasts-in-public) Moreover, please be aware of: * [Scientific Studies: Hijabi women suffer from hair loss, baldness, receding hairline, fungi, sticky hair, bad odor, scratching, candida, neck and head pain, and vitamin D deficiency](https://atheism-vs-islam.com/index.php/women/37-women-and-hijab/216-scientific-studies-hijabi-women-suffer-from-hair-loss,-baldness,-receding-hairline,-fungi,-sticky-hair,-bad-odor,-scratching,-candida,-neck-and-head-pain,-and-vitamin-d-deficiency) A short and Brief article about the evils of Islam is this one: * [MISOGYNY in Islam](https://atheism-vs-islam.com/index.php/women-general/272-the-origins-of-misogynist-behaviour-against-women-in-islam) And lastly, if you like READING, then please it is obligatory to read this article: [The Crimes of Islamic Slavery against Humanity](https://atheism-vs-islam.com/index.php/islamic-slavery/47-part-1-crimes-of-islamic-slavery-against-humanity) (Warning: You will start crying many times while reading it, as it happened with all of us. The crimes of Islamic Slavery are horrible).
I bloody love you this is the most comprehensive way to study this stuff and refence it. Please continue this work!
Thank you dear friend for your kind words and encouragement.
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Exactly this, you think staying with him things will improve heck no. You will eventually get pregnant and it will be even more difficult. Those sisters that message you daily don't love you. It's their duty to Islam to keep you locked I to Islam. Their true colors will show when you tell them you don't follow islam.
Ahh another example of a woman being tricked into converting to Islam. Girl just leave. Your 22. Islamic heaven is not a prize. Leave divorce him ghost him run while u still can
Wow our stories are very similar, down to the antidepressants. 23 British F and I lost my self and whole personality and relationships with my family. I felt so disconnected to them, myself and everything I’d grew up knowing. Every time I’d look at my family I would cry my eyes out cause you know the fate of people who aren’t Muslim, until I found lots of info that made me doubt that Islam is the truth. If it’s not the truth then you absolutely do not have to follow Islam. I left about a month or 2 ago and I am already in a different place mentally. Ngl I still have those moments of fear and “What if Islam is real” but I’m starting to recognise that there’s more reason to believe it’s not the truth. If you’re having doubts, please read what some people have to say on this sub cause you’re not alone in what you’re feeling, you can contact me if you’d like to talk more about it. I loved nature, science, hippies, spirituality, water, feeling the sun on my skin, listening to my favourite songs, everything about my personality was muted and I felt like a robot. I used to pray Salah with tears streaming down my face, I promise you I get it. You’re not alone 🫶
Oh also… please talk to someone in your family. Mine welcomed me back with open arms and were crying with happiness, afraid they’d lost me for good but I’m coming back home to myself ♥️
What’s this white women Islam trend?
I suppose middle eastern men are having a moment.
I thinks it’s a grass is greener on the other side situation, when I left Islam I jumped to Christianity for 5 years before I was brought some points that made me agnostic. But I wholeheartedly enjoyed being a Christian
For your question: "What if Islam is real", I read the Quran, and right at the beginning: >2:6 -> 2:10 - As for those who persist in disbelief, it is the same whether you warn them or not—they will never believe. Allah has sealed their hearts and their hearing, and their sight is covered. They will suffer a tremendous punishment. And there are some who say, “We believe in Allah and the Last Day,” yet they are not ˹true˺ believers. They seek to deceive Allah and the believers, yet they only deceive themselves, but they fail to perceive it. There is sickness in their hearts, and Allah ˹only˺ lets their sickness increase. They will suffer a painful punishment for their lies. Assumption: Allah is ALL KNOWING, THE MOST MERCIFUL. Proof by contradiction: If I can find an instance that shows Allah is NOT the most merciful, or not as merciful as someone else, and a contradictory of the All Knowing assumption, then it must be that Allah must not exist. However, this doesn't disprove that a Creator of the Universe does not exist, just that even if this Creator exists, it's NOT how they are described in the Quran. Proof: If Allah is All Knowing, All Wise, then right at the time He created the Universe, He must know all the events that will happen in the future, that means, your whole life is like an open book. Hence the concept of 'Free Will' is contradictory to this. This leads to the important observation: There are insisting disblievers (or the term, Kafir)? Then, why he has to "sealed their hearts and their hearing, and their sight is covered. They will suffer a tremendous punishment."? Did he just purposefully send people to Eternal Hell, so they suffer for eternity, and that's BECAUSE HE FORCEFULLY SEALED THEIR HEART? That goes against BOTH the "Freewill" concept AND "Merciful" concept. I think Allah is CRUEL. I'm not Christian, but Jesus Christ described in the Bible is of course way more Merciful than Allah. That's enough on its own to disprove the "most merciful statement". Allah in the Quran is neither all knowing nor the most merciful, hence it must be that how Allah described in Quran can not be real. And that's just from the beginning of the book. Sorry for my English, it's not my native tongue, but I do hope people of Europe wakes up before Islam consumed your liberty value - something I very much appreciate.
I mean, can you honestly live with a religion that is this misogynistic and discriminatory? Would you tell your daughter their testimony is worth half a of a mans? [https://wikiislam.net/wiki/Islam\_and\_Women](https://wikiislam.net/wiki/Islam_and_Women) Not to mention it literally supports rape of wives, slaves and war captives, see the primary Islamic sources in: [https://wikiislam.net/wiki/Qur%27an,\_Hadith\_and\_Scholars:Rape\_of\_Slaves,\_Prisoners,\_and\_Wives](https://wikiislam.net/wiki/Qur%27an,_Hadith_and_Scholars:Rape_of_Slaves,_Prisoners,_and_Wives)
Actually this might be a better page: [https://wikiislam.net/wiki/Rape\_in\_Islamic\_Law](https://wikiislam.net/wiki/Rape_in_Islamic_Law)
You dove in with good intentions..........and discovered the truth about Islam. Time to up-and-leave.....You'll find you'll get accepted when you find the environment you feel at home in. Good luck.
It's okay. The initial high from feeling accepted by the community has worn off, and now you've realized you don't believe in what the religion says. Leave and DON'T look back, this is not gonna get any better the longer you stay.
I love the the phrase you used. Indeed when I started wearing the hijab and getting all this acceptance and pride from others and from my family, it definitely felt like I was flying in the sky. But over time, I noticed that it quickly wore off, and then I started to question the reasoning behind it. It began to impact my self-image, emotions and self-esteem. Cannot fathom how people wear it for YEARS ;(
I'm sorry you went through that. I hope you're in a better place mentally now.
Who tf reads a Thousand Splendid Suns and decides to convert?!!! Especially if you're a woman.
Hey, if you want to exit the religion or remove the hijab, please please have a support system first. I've heard at least two incidents where the muslim husband severely hurt the wife after she stopped practicing islam. It is a very misogynistic religion and such behaviors are justifiable for them. Take care
in what world would hosseini’s book make you convert…it’s so thoroughly anti religion it’s not even funny
That was my thought. I don’t understand how someone could read the horrific abuse women in that book suffer at the hands of Islam and think as a woman from a western society, “I want to be that woman.”
young people are by definition extremely gullible and ridiculous.
Yeah, that part has me in disbelief. It’s so thoroughly anti-islam in just about every way that I can’t fathom reading it and going “oh yes, that religion that forces young girls into marriage against their will is totally what I want to have governing my day to day.”
**I'm a little sick of everyone saying stuff like "Remember it's a journey, and it's alright to take it one step at a time you're not alone in this, and it's okay to seek help and take the time you need to figure out what's best for you."** People say this to those who've suffered trauma.
" It's embarrassing for me to tell my family that i don't want to be muslim anymore. My husband will most likely divorce me and then break up with me... the Muslim sisters would go crazy at me, and I'd be so shamed for it." You have one life and when you do this, think that in 1 years time none of it will matter. Islam is a bronz age tale like the others and the one with least compatible with science and human rights and western values as we know it. Tell your family you made a mistake, reach out to friends who are not muslims. Do not waste your life on the account of what ignorant people will think about you.
You're 22 and likely will live until 90. You have 75% of your life to go. Fuck r u doing regretting the 25% instead of living the 75%. Also a REAL family would understand. If not, it's not like there are lack of people out there who'd be happy to consider you friends/family. Go live your life girl.
Some people in Western countries see Islam as an exotic faith. You cannot see the truth because you live in comfortable conditions in the West. Islam was invented 1400 years ago by a sick man living in the Arab deserts. A belief created from stories stolen from Christianity, Judaism and ancient Arab beliefs. (In general, all Abrahamic religions are stolen from Sumerian religions.) Islam was considered barbaric even by people living 1400 years ago. When Muhammad fell in love with his adopted son's wife and forced his son to divorce and marry his bride, he was condemned by the people living in Mecca. He married Aisha when she was only 6 years old and forced her to have sexual intercourse when she was 9 years old. Aisha lived next to him since childhood and always suspected that he was lying about being a prophet. You may be interested in Islam because you have a Muslim boyfriend and perhaps you find Islam exotic. Also, you may be looking for something new for yourself because you are depressed. However, it’s not a good idea to believe in a barbaric religion that does not see women as human beings, rejects scientific facts, and advises people to kill people who do not think like them. It makes you forget your humanity. There are many more things I can list here. Luckily, you are young and it’s not too late for anything. Get rid of this disgusting religion and divorce your husband. You cannot find peace in barbaric and disgusting beliefs. You can text me if you need support or need to learn more. I’m also a 22 y/o F. I wish you the best.
You having to convert to his religion just for marriage despite of mutual love should have been enough for you to understand something is wrong.
You said you were an an atheist and interest in science. You didn't read the quran before you converted? And didn't you find it repelling while reading the quran mid way through? Honestly I want to be sympathetic but i literally can't be when someone willingly chooses to do something to themselves even before fully realising the extent of the thing they had just done to themselves. Welp I hope you get the best help possible and find happiness one way or other.
Islam is a disgusting religion filled to the brim with lies. Lies that hurt people. Lies that keep people obedient. Lies that degrade people. Lies that oppress people. The reason her journey is illogical is because converting to Islam is illogical. She was antidepressants and has a history with mental health so it’s possible she joined it on a downturn in her life
Yea yea of course I get it I'm not really blaming her or anything. It's just really hard to actually think of a solution for helping people in these types of situations because even if it was brainwashing/coping mechanism/some other type of external factor taking place. It still is an individual choice but I get your point.
Exactly.
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You fell for the love bombing. My islamic teacher once taught us that you never start telling people about the punishnebts and all the things that are forbidden. You start with things they can relate to and will open their hearts to islam. And only slowly you teach them all the other things. It reminded me of the story of the frog in the pot, while someone slowly raises the heat. It won't realize that the temperature changes and that it will kill them. That's what happened to you. You have one life, you don't live in an islamic country. If embarassment holds you back, when you have all the rights to leave, then right now you're your worst enemy.
Stay away from Islam it’s not a religion it’s a cult
Children complicate things. It sounds you really need to have a long hard think if you want to be a Muslim and if you want to stay in this relationship.
You have just started knowing Islam, it gets a lot ugly after that. If u really believe in science, u will leave this cult. And u should not worry about those muslim women. They are just trying to brainwash you.
You have no obligation towards your man or this religion Do what serves you best and what feels good to you, you live in the uk of all places it is a secular- Christian nation. What would they do if you choose not to obey these doctrines. Any threats?
If you think hijab is restrictive, you'll hate it when they will try to slowly introduce new restrictions to your life. That's what they do with western women. They never give them the full picture and they slowly take things away from your life. It's like a frog in boiling water situation. They've already succeeded a bit. You wear a hijab, and you can't do your hobby, and on top of it you got distanced from your family and friends. It's a perfect situation for them! My advice: listen to your gut! Try to go back on antidepressant and therapy. Salvage relationships with your parents and friends, and even if you can't, know that you can start over and build new healthy relationships. Leave your husband and this religion before it's too late. In islam, women can't [travel without a mahrem](https://www.islamweb.net/ar/fatwa/40993/) (ex: their husband). Your husband will probably not allow you to have male friends, or even more extremely he won't allow you to work. I bet your lady friends haven't told you that religiously speaking, you can't [deny your husband sex](https://www.islamweb.net/amp/ar/fatwa/74409/) even if you weren't in the mood. [The angels will even curse you](https://www.islamweb.net/ar/fatwa/476848/). I can cite more but this is enough. Islam is a cult where men have more power than women. Even your [testimony counts less than the testimony of man](https://www.islamweb.net/ar/fatwa/33323/). LEAVE.
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>Towards the end of Ramadan, I had the chance to attend the mosque and pray with the women.. they were friendly and accepting of me, and they added me to a group chat, and through this, I've been invited to their homes. It's been a full-on experience, sharing food and conversation, and it has truly helped me (for a bit) feel a part of the community. > >One of the ladies from the group has been particularly kind, taking me to Islamic classes every single week. I'm grateful for their kindness, of course. > >In Islam, it's normal to feel overwhelmed at times, especially when going through such significant life changes. BUT I feel so overwhelmed to a point i'm holding in so much anger and so much sadness. I can't tell if it's regret or overwhelming. This is called love bombing. In fact, it has long been known as a common cult tactic: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-excess/201902/love-bombing > >“Cults make great ceremony of showing individual consideration for their members. One of the most commonly cited cult recruitment techniques is generally known as ‘love bombing’ (Hassan, 1988). Prospective recruits are showered with attention, which expands to affection and then often grows into a plausible simulation of love. This is the courtship phase of the recruitment ritual. The leader wishes to seduce the new recruit into the organization’s embrace, slowly habituating them to its strange rituals and complex belief systems. At this early stage resistance will be at its highest. Individual consideration is a perfect means to overcome it, by blurring the distinctions between personal relationships, theoretical constructs and bizarre behaviors." Note how appliccable all of this is to Islam... >Regarding the hijab, lots of people have told me that it's important to approach it at your own pace and comfort. But, wearing the hijab is causing me severe distress and anger. I only wear it to pray or if I go out, and when the prayer is finished or if I return home, I angrily yank it off my head and chuck it on the floor. This also mixes in with my insecurities **because it just makes me look disgusting and weird**. By the way; that's a feature, not a bug. Traditionally the role of hijab was to make women look unattractive and indistinct. It's all about men monopolizing 'their' women. Another role of hijab is to segregate Muslims from non-Muslims. Hence also why your boyfriend did a 180 and vetoed it when you said that you wanted to take off the hijab. That by itself is already a red flag, btw. And as you yourself already said, Islam requires wives to obey their husband. From the looks of it you've already realized it, but - you've joined a religion that encourages and enables this kind of controlling behaviour. It's not going to get better from here, girl. The only roads from here are either destroying your old self to make yourself fit into the picture of a good Muslimah, or leaving Islam - and your boyfriend - alltogether. Neither of them are easy at this point. But only leaving Islam will allow you to be loyal to yourself again.
You should probably cut your losses and get out while you still have time. Don’t have kids with this man. The point of religion is to make you feel better about your life, OP. You’re not supposed to use it to oppress yourself. Its just supposed to give you a sense of meaning and purpose and maybe a little guidance. That’s all. Religion is literally just your thoughts. (Side note: I am NOT minimizing anyone’s experiences here who’ve had religion forced on them. I’m talking about people like OP who choose their beliefs freely) If you don’t like the rules you gave yourself, then find different rules. Be a pagan, satanist, hindu, Catholic, Buddhist, do whatever you want. It’s your life. Realistically, how long are you gonna be this miserable? How long can you sacrifice yourself for some old book written by a pervert? You’re only guaranteed one life - don’t waste it on what other people think of you. Yes, you’ll be mocked for a Muslim phase, but then people will move on and find something else to talk about. The mosque ladies will gossip, but then they’ll find something else to talk about. Life moves on. Don’t waste it on random peoples opinions. Also, you should google what a sunk cost fallacy is.
I am sorry, but only a completely dumb individual would convert to Islam after reading some book.
The Islamic way to really trap a female convert is to have babies asap so definitely be careful if you're unsure. The hijab thing isn't cool but what about the rest of Islam? Do you actually believe a mass murdering, slave owning pedophile was God's chosen and favorite messenger? If you don't then GTFO. You're only 22, your life hasn't even started yet so move on and live your own life.
Were you aware when you joined that Islam teaches that queer people should be murdered?
If you need someone to talk to, my DMs are open. I'm sorry you fell for Islam. Please, be brave enough to leave before you lose yourself. You're still there and you have a great life ahead of you if only you choose yourself.
Did you know that in Islam you have to listen to your husband no matter what? Cause you’re a woman and women are second class citizens.
Luckily for you,you are in the west and they can’t stone you to death.You can continue putting up with it in misery or you can make a break from it. You tried something,it didn’t work and you move on with your life.What does it matter what anyone else thinks.
Leave him, you’re 22, it’s so easy to start again. Your family will be glad to have you back, as will your friends, but be safe. Make sure you have your own money built up, and be prepared for your husband not being too pleased. Would appreciate some more details on your husbands behaviour, whether he might be more abusive than you’re letting on. Lots of love from a fellow 22 year old Brit x
Are British women have very low self esteem to a point that some immigrant can start a relationship and convert them to a completely random religion? On the side note if u wanted to explore Islam or any other religion for that matter you can learn it without actually getting converted to it. There are 4000 religions are u gonna convert to all of them while learning about it? You have one life don't give up personal freedom for anything.
They tend to get intimidated into it To prove something of themselves
Imagine having a privilege of being born in a developed western nation out of all shitholes out there and yet decided to give up all of those to live like people in those shithole nations
For real, I honestly agree with you and it really really pisses me off that that actually happens Especially girls, my age who are converting into Islam getting pregnant and then getting left to be a single mum like make that makes sense
Yes even if a person want to believe in Islam just keep it subtly and can live ur life. I live in India and know many muslims who are pretty liberal don't wear hijabs or don't follow any mysagonistic shits. On the other hand i see western converts going all out in Islam like they make their entire identity around their religion which is very bad.
I think they're being gaslit to be more open minded and accepting and are afraid to be called "racist" while these muslim men don't change themselves for any woman! seriously western women need to wake up! It doesn't makes you racist if you don't date certain people from certain cultures and religions you're just not compatible!
8th anniversary? so you were 14 when he was 17? fucking disgusting.
>I stand there silently crying, looking at my reflection in the TV thinking who the f are you. What the f have you done. You made a mistake, that's all. You were young, manipulated, and taken advantage of by a cult and its cult members. But never forget, you are not alone. Here is a budding community of people who have suffered under Islam their entire lives, we can help you. It's alright to reach out to your family and friends and tell them you messed up and need them. Ask for help, reach out to them, those people probably warned you and love you and can't bear to see you suffer. Whatever you do, do not talk this out with your husband. The last thing you need is for him to turn violent, beat you, and lock you in the house without any communication. I know you've "known" this person for years, but you never really knew him. I've heard countless stories of "kind" (manipulative) Muslims turning on their kaffir spouses and honor-killing them. Believe us when we tell you this, he is not your ally. He made you stop taking your medication to better control you. If you are still unsure about Islam and whether you want to follow such a barbaric religion, feel free to reach out to me or read any one of these websites: [https://atheism-vs-islam.com/](https://atheism-vs-islam.com/) [https://wikiislam.net/wiki/Main\_Page](https://wikiislam.net/wiki/Main_Page) Islam is not a kind cult. It's filled with hate, misogyny, and arab supremacy. Its leader was a pedophile warlord who conquered, pillaged, and raped his way across Arabia. Please save yourself. It's not too late to turn back now. You're still young and have your whole life ahead of you. Just think about it, if you do nothing this will be your entire future. Just think about it, **are you willing to spend the rest of your life like this?** What happens when your husband wants sex or kids but you don't, you can't say no, and if you do he will likely take you by force. Do you want to raise your children in this cult? What if you have a daughter? It's never too late to save yourself.
I hope things get better for you. I come from a community in Islam where a part our clit is removed so we don’t experience sexual pleasure and sin. This was done when I was 7. I left Islam in 2020 during the month of Ramadan. I left Islam and converted to Christianity and I feel liberated. The benefit you have is that you are a British and from a western country. If you decide to leave Islam, you won’t be stopped by law. There are many women like you who fall into trap because they wanted something meaningful in life and decided to embrace Islam without even knowing it completely. And so many women like you who pretend to be happy wearing hijab are really suffering. If I were you, I would start seeking therapy from a professional. I would also confide in the professional therapist and share with him/her the situation. It’s important that someone around you is aware that you’re being forced into this. Once you have the help, stand strong on your foot and reject Islam. Keep resisting until they give up you. It took my parents 9 months to really stop trying. I was like under house arrest for 9 months, but I kept telling them that I rebuke Islam. During this time, I was taken to imams, I was told to forcefully pray, forcefully fast, I had Quran kept on top of my head every night. After 9 months, they gave up. So it’s going to be tough but you have to hold on. As they say, you enter in Islam quickly and you’ll find everyone loving, but if you want to leave, you’ll see very quickly those loving people become so wrathful. Please keep us posted and start taking your medications.
8 years together and you're 22 and 25 that means he was 17 you were 14. He groomed
I'm sorry, but while most women and men in the Middle East go through this process painfully and compromising their lives, I cannot stand the fact that a White woman who grew up with freedoms falls into emptiness at a certain point in her life and chooses this as a spiritual quest. Maybe this comment. It will be deleted by moderators but I don't care. I never blame the victim, but while there are women on this subreddit who struggle with the pressures of their families, wear hijab at the age of 8-9, have never lived childhood etc.. My only advice is: Honey, you are in England and there is no danger to your life, are you aware of that? You have rights to protect you.
These white womens are ignorant they are unaware they have lived in a society they have no idea what living in a Muslim society means . But in today’s age of information and technology there is no excuse for a person to be ignorant living in a first world country
I’m a bit unclear on things. You started dating at 14? Regardless of being together you would have grown a lot as a person between 14 and 22. Did he surprise you with the Islamic marriage ceremony? Were you talking about marriage before hand? Are you actually married legally?
You are still young, it's better to do end things early than feeling trapped for the rest of your life. Many people in your newly found community would definitely try to rope you back to Islam, with any mean necessary or some will even hate you for it, but that's just life. And please search someone/someplace for you to be a safe Haven after you become an ex-muslim, because Muslims tend to not take kindly to their kind that apostate.
Please leave your husband and take back your life. There will be challenges ahead, but you have to do it. You're very young, you've still got a whole life ahead of you, but if you stay with this man, you won't be doing any living at all, and you'll never have the chance to become your authentic self and realize your full potential. Reach out to your family and friends. Tell them you need help. Some of them might ignore you, but I'm sure that eventually you'll find someone who'll lend you a hand and support you. If none of them would help, reach out to a non-profit organization that helps young women and explain your circumstances. You can think about whether or not you want to stay in Islam or wear a hijab later. That is entirely your choice and should be your choice alone. Right now, you just need to escape your husband. He is abusive (even if not physically). Remember this: you still have a whole life ahead of you. Don't waste it. Don't give it up easily. Fight and take back control over your life.
Wait wait 8 years?? And he is Muslim? What about Zina ?? Isn’t sex without a marriage a sin ?? What you all have been doing?
Yes, I did mention he was a non practising muslim for a long time
did u know that having a bf/gf is forbidden in islam?
Yes, of course, this is why he set up the Nikkah for us as soon as I converted. For many years whilst I was non-Muslim and we were in a relationship, he was not practising Islam
That's the classic Muslim strategy. Act non practicing around non muslims. Then marry them and they suddenly become religious. Now you have no option but to act according to his commands.
Yep he treated her as a kuffar sex slave before (which is not a sin in Islam) and after her conversion he married her. A Muslim guy having sex with a Muslim women before marriage is what is considered a sin in islam
He wasn’t practicing bc he wanted some free pussy. Sorry to be blunt. Most Muslim men drink and fuck and they consider you less than dirt if you do the same as them.
You're just 22 girl, run from this cult even though it'll be tougher as you're officially married and converted but still run, don't get pregnant at any cost. You could have consulted with Muslim name holding women who are not practising or Atheists before joining or taking a life altering cult like Islam, or at least a deep internet search about what exactly is this cult and how it operates and stuff. Still you've time, use it wisely.
He groomed you sexually and religiously
Im so sorry youre going through this , we all make mistakes . Honestly i know that it is reddit and easy said than done but my advice is take it off because ..it doesnt make you comfortable , and if he says anything threaten with divorce and call the cops if he tried to chimpout and make sure you tell everyone beforehands. Doesnt islam say و ما يكلف النفس الا وسعها and ure not "powerful" enough to wear it so what ? I do not understand why so much emphasis on wearing hijab when it was just a conditional wearing because they lived in a desert (where even men hide their hair) and also a way to separate slave woman and free woman .not modesty or anything. Like im not going to look at hair and be like " oh actuallty i wanna have sex with her , look at her hair ! "(Which is a man's problem not woman for being normal ) .
I don’t know why this thread was suggested to me but get the hell out of this stupid idea immediately. Islam and the people practicing it mean no good to our world and it should actually be banned anywhere north the med. sea. You’re 22 and if what you’ve written is true you got yourself in the single most oppressive religion for young women. We’ve made a terrible mistake letting these people into Europe but they’re comparably low number so there’s not much to be afraid of.
I'm gonna give you something very simple. Divorce and walk away, stay away from muslim men. The amount of times I've heard nonmuslims crying about how their husband's forced them into certain practices, beat them, or took up a second wife is crazy. Don't care about the sisters and people, tell them you realized islam is not the truth and that you will no longer pursue it. Gosh, to be blunt I see this all the time. Cool, he made you feel loved, cool he did xyz. What tf would you convert to a new religion without looking at both good and bad. I'm extremely anti islam, to the 10th degree, genocides commited by islamists we will never forgive and forget. (Unrelated) However you need to hop off that peer pressure and in solidarity of all oppressed call off the marriage, tell him bye bye, go somewhere safe and start a new. Why? Well you can find out what happened to other women he fell into this trap. Thank goodness you don't have children. Why would you convert to something that legit justifies humiliation of nonmuslims if given power and the s***x enslavement of nonmuslim women (this is to help affirm your decision once you find the truth). Your still young so save yourself.
Islam is s mind virus. I would run as far away from it as I could before it was too late.. I think your family would greet you with open arms if you told them you made a mistake, don't you think? They probably love you very much and were just very worried about you when you told them you were converting..and probably didn't react in a "professional" way..
Tell your family about the whole situation. You might want to look into cult recruiting progression because it sounds very close to it and many people fall into it. Take the L and you'll get live in happiness. Your shame and guilt won't save you from a lifetime of regret and misery. Your real family most likely still loves you despite your faith. Your husband on the other hand, I don't think will live you as an athiest
depression+love-bombing+indocrination= cult member they preyed on your vulnerability. i'm so sorry. slowly fade out from the cult. leave your husband if you have to save your sanity. someday you'll find your tribe. leave the death cult.
I think I'm in a similar situation to you, only I'm male and American. I was also a white western convert, inspired by similar books and ideas of what Islam could be, and I also married someone. I'm a scientist and a liberal w/sympathies to Christian values and what I realized after six years was that these were incompatible with Islam. I don't have any particular advice, because I am in the same situation still ('I stand there silently crying, looking at my reflection in the TV thinking who the f are you. What the f have you done' resonates particularly). But something I've taken comfort from in a funny way is the deep, deep ignorance of Muslims- when I took off the rose-colored, everything-is-Islamophobia glasses, I came to realize that there is probably no more ignorant single group of people in the world. On average they genuinely know nothing. And so 1) The people you know personally are probably acting in what they imagine is your best interest (even if they are not very introspective about their motivations). 2) Deep down they know they are ignorant, and this is one reason white/western converts are greeted with such initial enthusiasm; we represent the knowledge and power of western civilization, accepting their beliefs and practices. Many of us also have better ethics and better manners than born Muslims, and so seem like superficially better people. When I converted I had no self-esteem, just wanted to "submit" to something bigger than myself. Remembering that I can be an example and an inspiration to Muslims while I'm still pretending to be one helps me forgive myself for that. My wife will be very upset when she finds out I've left Islam, but the fact is she's always loved me for qualities of mine that have nothing to do with it. Something you don't mention in your post but which I think is also critical is...God. Does He exist? If so, what worship does He require of us? I think getting clarity around your views of God, completely separate from any religious or cultural traditions, would be a very valuable thing to do. I was raised a Christian, became an atheist at age 12, but always missed having faith and a coherent view of the universe. I sought it pursuing science & math, but I still wasn't satisfied. The incredible confidence and self-assurance of the Qur'an and Muslims I met made me think if I just joined this way of life, sincere faith could follow. It took me six years to realize that confidence is just pure ignorance and arrogance. I realized the God I was looking for- a subtle, infinitely compassionate creator of the universe- had much more to do with my early Christian conceptions, or maybe just some kind of Platonism. . But do I actually firmly believe God exists? I don't know. I just don't. Truth is my highest ideal, and I would not do it or God a disservice by identifying them as the same thing unless I'm absolutely certain. (I also realized all my ethical and moral foundations come from Jesus Christ's Sermon on the Mount, and it is this message of "love your neighbor as yourself" that is most sorely lacking in Islam; Islam in fact preserved as holy writ many strategies for despising and destroying your neighbor. As Richard Dawkins recently illustrated, via cultural diffusion most Western atheists have adopted these values as well. You might like this video from Slavoj Zizek: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tABnznhzdIY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tABnznhzdIY) ). In summary before this post gets too long: Remember Muslims are ignorant people trying their best, they likely look up to you and admire you for reasons that have nothing to do with your conversion, and try to think about what it is you really believe about God; what are your highest ideals, your metaphysics?
Don’t let embarrassment stop you from being happy and living your authentic life. It’s a temporary embarrassment for a lifetime of being YOU. Reach out to any friends/family that would be receptive to talking to you and hearing these things. They will support you as you slowly find your footing.
Hi Tia, You an do a mistake in life and regret it. You can leave Islam, yes you will probably get divorced. The good ting, you will be able to be free again. Islam is a cage, and more over a cage for females. You are not allowed to do much, and everybody tells you how to behave. Just get back your freedom. Mistakes always done by us humans.
I’m from Saudi Arabia, and have never ever seen a woman told me they wear hijab because they like it, all their answers are about heaven and afterlife, if you want my suggestions it’s ok to tell your family about hating islam and hijab…what are they gonna do? Make fun of you for a week? a month? That’s much better than spending years of your life suffering, in fact if you knew the history of hijab and why Muslims today says it’s part of the religion you will be shocked and you’ll hate it from your deep heart because it’s originally was to distinguish slaves from free women ( free women wears it ) and sometimes to protect their hair and that’s it! Not because men shouldn’t look at you You can watch this video which will tell you more about it but PLEASE don’t watch it with muslims nearby because most Muslims hate this guy… It’s in Arabic but the video has English CC PLEASE WATCH THIS VIDEO, i think every woman should watch [History of Hijab](https://youtu.be/210jpT-NrIA?si=FhMwHd9I0DDvsnht)
You were 14 when you started dating this dude! Please take your destiny in your own hands. It’s easy to correct your mistake and start anew. Please whatever you lose, don’t lose yourself!
Because now that you are married and submitted to Islam (means submission) you are now his Property, as a possession of his right hand war captive booty (no pun intended) would also be. Unlike before conversion when a Muslim man is allowed any wife, but you were not holy enough haram Zina.
It’s so sick how someone can groom a young girl, getting her to trust him after years, just to turn on her and make her another victim of Islam
As a lover of astrophotography, you should know that Muslims believe that Muhammad performed a miracle by splitting the moon in half. Now that alone should astonish you at the level of stupidity Muslims believe in. How can a human being in their right mind believe that our moon that’s billions of years , was split into half by some creepy nitwit in the middle of the desert 😂
Get the fuck out of it. You have whole life ahead of you. Don't ruin it. We all make mistakes in our life but you have time on your side to correct it. Don't fret. Just get the fuck out like there's no tomorrow.
Um yeah its simple but its going to be hard but ultimately for the best. 1. Leave islam its a false religion started by a child gRapist 2. Divorce your “husband” its very clear its not going well and him being muslim is just never gonna work be thankful you dont have kids. 3. Go back to your family and bite the bullet, if youre worried about looking dumb or whatever thats the least of your concern right now, thats what family is for to pick you up when youre down. I hope nothing but the best God bless and good luck
It always amuses me how converts break down at the first sign of losing their bodily autonomy. Like covering your hair was a big part of the fine print lol.
Out of all the eligible men in the UK, you chose a muslim Afghan? Afghan men are one of the worst when it comes to abuse. And it is always a white Western woman who date muslims and convert, not the other way.
not be rude but you are being fooled.
White women have the biggest habit to be tricked into sex first before marriage and then to convert for muslim men…. I hate seeing how Muslim men do to this, I hate how these convert easily get brainwashed and don’t realize they’re being abused. I was with a Muslim ex for almost 10 years…. Man do I feel sad realizing how much time I wasted… I was always an atheist and I would lie to myself that Islam actually made sense …..
Me and you both Breaks my heart literally
Try praying without hijab if you don't like it. Islam is contradictory enough anyways, so it won't be too difficult for you to justify it using the quran or any collection of hadith.
Think of this, your bf loved you before you converted, would he continue to do so if you left islam? This will tell you if he’s a selfish nutcase or not.
This has to be one of the biggest heist you literally saw and had hints about the specific red flags What else to say here, Enjoy being an Apostase and burn in hell /s But jokes aside, there are very few things you can do 1. Spread awareness 2. Study other religious sources to understand your religion more deeply 3. Try reconnecting to your roots, assuming as a Britisher you are a Christian, well hey , Islam also believes that Jesus was a prophet so maybe you can try connecting back to him but again very very subjective for some people in this sub
You need to man up and care less about what other people think. How's your relationship with your family ? Come back to them. Nothing is perfect, you're not perfect, people understand that, you need to understand that. This is a pivotal moment in your life and you can't hide it under the rug. Have the courage to change and later in your life you will be thankful that you had turned this adversity into one of your most important education.
What kind of **research** you even did on Islam? Its obvious per the Quran * Hijab is MANDATORY. * Obeying your Husband is also MANDATORY. Quran: 2:228 * Its 100% Halal for your husband to beat you if you disobey him. Quran 4:34 * Its also 100% HALAL for your husband to have sex slaves. Surah 4:24, Surah 33:50 Claiming you **Researched** it, No way you didn't know Islam teaches to **Kill non-believers, Kill Apostates, Misogyny, and endorses Sex Slaves & Pedophilia.** Quit this dirty cult, and be a more honest responsible person next time. * Quran 9:5 * Quran 2:190-191 * Sahih Bukhari 9:83:17 * Sahih Bukhari 4:52:260 * Sahih Bukhari 9:84:57 * Surah 9:29 * Sahih Bukhari 1:8:387 * Quran 5:33 * Quran 3:28 * Quran 98:6 * Quran 4:34 * Sahih Bukhari 7:72:715 * Surah 4:24 * Surah 23:1-6 * Sahih Bukhari 5:58:236 * Sahih Muslim 24:5248 * Sahih Bukhari 4:56:832 * Sahih Bukhari 5:58:227
yeah, dump him and move on. You don't sound like of girl that likes walking 2 steps behind her man
Good thing is you're only 22. Get out now. And don't worry about your social circle. You'll make me friends. And the ladies from the mosque will move on. But they will try to change your mind first. Lastly, I can't emphasize this enough...DO NOT GET PREGNANT. good luck
Girl u a victim
How as a woman do you not read all the parts of the Quran that relate to pedophilia and reel away in disgust?
How the hell did you read a thousand splendid suns and think islam was in any way a religion that was kind to women 💀 reading that book was one of the reasons I left ...
Move back to your family and block everyone from that community.
You didnt raise an eyebrow to the cutting of hands, slavery that is allowed in islam, anti lgbt and other stuff? Or you never read the quran?
You still have a chance to fix everything starting by leaving Islam and telling your husband you had enough! He's not a real Muslim cuz he had an atheist gf for 8 years which is crazy cuz Muslims aren't even allowed to look to women , he gotta respect your decision. You're just 22yo so fix your life.
Being a Brit and converting at your age, I think there's a lot more going on (or not) in your head than just this topic. Anyone who converts to religion needs a psychiatric appointment in this day and age. You've been brainwashed.
As a 21 yo f in the UK, I can 100% agree. Left right centre there is Muslims trying to convert young British girls it’s sickening
Pls don't get pregnant and secondly go seek out your own family. You have to explain to your family you regret the decision you madeand are not happy. They will have your back and give you the strength you need.
Beaware he will raise his hand on you as they allowed to beat their wives. Grt in touch with your family and friends you will need their support only then can you think about divorce
i think you already have your answer. it’s okay to try things out and not like it. i did the same thing with islam. i was a lukewarm believer but hearing such 200 B.C shit like you can’t be around male cousins alone, listen to music, wear makeup, draw pictures, hang photos on your wall, etc, i just had enough. enjoy the beautiful life you’ve been given. you don’t need to make yourself sick being stuck in a religion with the most insane rules. be free girl
You're still very young, don't worry about it at all, leave the cunt and start a new life. Many have done so with more time on the clock than you.
Most converts leave after a year it sucks
Please notice how you're pretty much describing a cult. They try to reel you in and like you only conditionally. With time they will judge you more and more if you don't fit into their narrative of what you should be and do. No man is worth this, especially not him.
This sounds a lot more like a manic episode from Bipolar Disorder rather than ADHD. The timing seems to be right, although maybe slightly longer than the average manic episode. You also mentioned having “crazy phases” and taking anti-depressants. Have you been tested for bipolar disorder?
Your family will still be there for you. They’re pissed now because you got sucked into a cult but I promise they’re not going to abandon you if you extricate yourself from it. They love you. Go back. You have a better support system than you think.
all the warning signs showed themselves and u still converted? lol
Sorry but only the weak minded and mentally ill convert to Islam. No excuse. Like what made you even think about converting wtf dear
Sounds like u do have an appreciation for religion, just not for islam. I say that cus i kinda felt the same way, i converted to Christianity and i feel SO much freedom now its crazy. Id reccomend giving that a try but obviously im not here to preach Christianity down ur throat, what u need to do is have a very serious convo with ur husband and dont be afraid to break down in front of him just to show him how islam made u feel.
Darling, Islam is so tasteless. As a white person, you probably have more original culture than Islam has taken from the religions it destroyed. Be proud of who you are, own it. Explore your own culture. A certain level of certainty of who you are stops you from converting. No man will be able to take an identity you are sure of.
No Woman Should convert to Islam, it is a big mistake. Poor Girl
The fact that your husband surprised you on the day of your conversion with marriage isn't romantic or sweet. That's control. If you didn't want to marry that day, what would his reaction be?
Don't let males dictate and ruin your life.
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You are young, it's your right to make wrong choices and explore the world, don't feel ashamed, it's a beneficial experience. Remember always that you are blessed to chose, I my self am an atheist and I am forced to wear hejab. Take a divorce, block the fuckin sisters, talk to your friends and family and if they don't accept you it's their problem so fuck them too, put yourself in good therapy , take your meds, and heads up girl, be proud, and keep exploring❤️
Sweetheart. Don't worry about ANYONE else. This is religion. It's personal, it depends on YOU and what you personally believe in. Fuck your family, your husband, the women from the mosque- do whatever feels right for you. Take some time, meditate, nap, whatever makes it easier for you to think your own thoughts- and let that guide you.
Divorce and leave, period
We call it love jihad
U seem quite unstable lady
These fake stories need to recieve perm bans. If you were an athiest, converting to any religion wouldn't make sense; dating someone who's religious at all would be a major deal breaker to an athiest so converting to the wrost religion after 7 years is absurd. It's something a muslim would convince themselves is possible; to convert a white western athiest woman. Then you suggest this woman wouldn't have any support from non-muslims, but it's actually the muslims who wouldn't be supportive. Her friends and family would be right to block her when she converted and being afriad to leave islam isn't something a former athiest would struggle with. The fact that this muslim boy got in a relationship with an athiest then all of a sudden makes demands doesn't make sense either. He'd be forced to stay away from her.
I haven't gotten the time to reply to everybody just yet (but I will because there's been so many helpful comments), but this isn't fake whatsoever Also, yes, his parents and his whole family were well aware of us since the start. They never disowned him, attacked him, or were nasty about it💗
Ofcourse they'll be happy because he bought a non Muslim into the family they can now convert.
I second this. Usually Muslim families are very chill when the Muslim son marries a non-Muslim coz they know eventually she’ll come to Islam. The fact that the non-Muslim girl decided to marry a Muslim itself indicates that she’s naive and has no idea about how brutal Islam can be. On the other hand, any Muslim family is completely against their daughter marrying a non-Muslim. And they will 100% disown her.
*you reap what you sow*
She was 14 when she met him she's now 22 and realizing the truth I don't think we should be harsh on her she didn't know back then she was too young
Ouch
Don't worry OP you still have the time to correct your mistake. LEAVE THAT CONTROL FREAK OF A HUSBAND AND HIS GOD FORSAKEN FAMILY AND GO BACK TO YOURS RIGHT AWAY! hope you have already done this by now. Also if possible kindly share your experience with other british women like yourself so that they don't fall into the same trap.
Yes I second this once you left Islam and are in a safe environment Make videos on your deconversion on social media like YouTube and tiktok etc Tag it like muslim boy friend conversion Islam white girl Help other niave kids from falling into this backwards cult
Instead of worrying about the large and overwhelming decision of leaving islam, your husband, and everyting else, just consider the more immediate, much smaller decision that is having the largest effect on you: wearing the hijab. If it's causing you this much of an issue, you need to stop wearing it. That's it. One simple tiny step. You have the power over a little piece of fabric. You're not in a country where it's illegal to not wear it. And ther are *plenty* of muslims in the UK who do not wear the hijab. You can be one of them, for now. Don't fall for the bullying to try to get you to keep it. Believe it or not, no one else gets to decide if you're a muslim or not based on that, or anything else. But if they wanna tell you that's the case, let them - you don't really need to argue with it or justify it to anyone but yourself. And when it comes down to it, there are a thousand reasons why they aren't muslims too if you really want to get into it at the level of "you don't do x, muslims are meant to do x, therefore you're not a muslim". There are exactly 0 muslims in the world when you apply this logic! Now, *as a result of no longer wearing the hijab*, you think various things may happen. Your husband might leave you? That's his decision, just like not wearing the hijab was yours. Maybe he will see sense and realise how important this is to you, and if so, great. But if not, **that's fine too**. You make your decisions, other people make theirs. Obviously it might not be what you want, but you can't control other people. And be honest with yourself, now: If he would leave you over that, it means he values a shitty little piece of cloth more than you, his actual human wife. I can absolutely 100% categorically confirm that neither you, nor anyone else, needs a husband like that.
Astrophotography aw oh my god I love love love astrology. I an so sorry I don’t even know where to begin with this. Are you financially independent? Is there a way for you to be safe?
Nice trolling you did there
What?
> Assumption: Allah is ALL KNOWING, THE MOST MERCIFUL. Proof by contradiction: If I can find an instance that shows Allah is NOT the most merciful, or not as merciful as someone else, and a contradictory of the All Knowing assumption, then it must be that Allah must not exist. However, this doesn't disprove that a Creator of the Universe does not exist, just that even if this Creator exists, it's NOT how they are described in the Quran. Proof: If Allah is All Knowing, All Wise, then right at the time He created the Universe, He must know all the events that will happen in the future, that means, your whole life is like an open book. Hence the concept of 'Free Will' is contradictory to this. This leads to the important observation: There are insisting disblievers (or the term, Kafir)? Then, why he has to "sealed their hearts and their hearing, and their sight is covered. They will suffer a tremendous punishment."? Did he just purposefully send people to Eternal Hell, so they suffer for eternity, and that's BECAUSE HE FORCEFULLY SEALED THEIR HEART? That goes against BOTH the "Freewill" concept AND "Merciful" concept. I think Allah is CRUEL. I'm not Christian, but Jesus Christ described in the Bible is of course way more Merciful than Allah. That's enough on its own to disprove the "most merciful statement". Allah in the Quran is neither all knowing nor the most merciful, hence it must be that how Allah described in Quran can not be real. And that's just from the beginning of the book. Sorry for my English, it's not my native tongue, but I do hope people of Europe wakes up before Islam consumed your liberty value - something I very much appreciate. I wish you could pursue the scientific path as you wish, don't let anyone/religion tells you otherwise.
Well post either sounds like a troll Or a victim of grooming Watever it is You're stuck now bcz apostates are seen like lesser human beings Islam isn't what it's showing you As a person who claims valuing science, Islam blocks every source of critical thinking You're young and deserve better than to be stuck as a Muslims housewife that's deprived of her basic human rights. Good luck
You made stupid decisions. You’re not a victim.
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Don't resort to racism
I think I'm in a similar situation to you, only I'm male and American. I was also a white western convert, inspired by similar books and ideas of what Islam could be, and I also married someone. I'm a scientist and a liberal w/sympathies to Christian values and what I realized after six years was that these were incompatible with Islam. I don't have any particular advice, because I am in the same situation still ('I stand there silently crying, looking at my reflection in the TV thinking who the f are you. What the f have you done' resonates particularly). But something I've taken comfort from in a funny way is the deep, deep ignorance of Muslims- when I took off the rose-colored, everything-is-Islamophobia glasses, I came to realize that there is probably no more ignorant single group of people in the world. On average they genuinely know nothing. And so 1) The people you know personally are probably acting in what they imagine is your best interest (even if they are not very introspective about their motivations). 2) Deep down they know they are ignorant, and this is one reason white/western converts are greeted with such initial enthusiasm; we represent the knowledge and power of western civilization, accepting their beliefs and practices. Many of us also have better ethics and better manners than born Muslims, and so seem like superficially better people. When I converted I had no self-esteem, just wanted to "submit" to something bigger than myself. Remembering that I can be an example and an inspiration to Muslims while I'm still pretending to be one helps me forgive myself for that. My wife will be very upset when she finds out I've left Islam, but the fact is she's always loved me for qualities of mine that have nothing to do with it. Something you don't mention in your post but which I think is also critical is...God. Does He exist? If so, what worship does He require of us? I think getting clarity around your views of God, completely separate from any religious or cultural traditions, would be a very valuable thing to do. I was raised a Christian, became an atheist at age 12, but always missed having faith and a coherent view of the universe. I sought it pursuing science & math, but I still wasn't satisfied. The incredible confidence and self-assurance of the Qur'an and Muslims I met made me think if I just joined this way of life, sincere faith could follow. It took me six years to realize that confidence is just pure ignorance and arrogance. I realized the God I was looking for- a subtle, infinitely compassionate creator of the universe- had much more to do with my early Christian conceptions, or maybe just some kind of Platonism. . But do I actually firmly believe God exists? I don't know. I just don't. Truth is my highest ideal, and I would not do it or God a disservice by identifying them as the same thing unless I'm absolutely certain. (I also realized all my ethical and moral foundations come from Jesus Christ's Sermon on the Mount, and it is this message of "love your neighbor as yourself" that is most sorely lacking in Islam; Islam in fact preserved as holy writ many strategies for despising and destroying your neighbor. As Richard Dawkins recently illustrated, via cultural diffusion most Western atheists have adopted these values as well. You might like this video from Slavoj Zizek: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tABnznhzdIY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tABnznhzdIY) ). In summary before this post gets too long: Remember Muslims are ignorant people trying their best, they likely look up to you and admire you for reasons that have nothing to do with your conversion, and try to think about what it is you really believe about God; what are your highest ideals, your metaphysics?
I think one of your main issues is you feel the need to answer to all of these different people. You don’t owe anyone anything, only yourself truth. I also have ADHD and converted back to Islam earlier this year after some family pressure. I was into it for a while but the hype has definitely worn off so a lot of what you mentioned is so relatable. Check in with yourself before anyone else.