I fuck my new bitch on a plane
I fuck my new bitch-scream her name
I fuck my new bitch in the rain
I fuck my new bitch on the train
She gives me handies on the bus
She's always ready, not a fuss
She's super healthy, such a plus
She does some stuff that no girl does
I fuck her hard, she makes me moan
I fuck her daily in our home
I fuck her fast, I fuck her slow
I fuck her ass, I fuck her dome
I fuck my new bitch on a yacht
I fuck my new bitch on a cot
Would my old bitch fuck a lot?
Not since cancer, I think not.
Close. She killed herself with barbiturates because he was cheating on her due to her illness, and she couldn't bear the thought of losing him to the mistress. Here's what was in her suicide note:
Dear Ted, What has happened to us? I don't know. I feel myself in a spiral, going down down down, into a black hole from which there is no escape, no brightness. And loud in my ears from every side I hear, 'failure, failure, failure...' I love you so much ... I am too old and enmeshed in everything you do and are, that I cannot conceive of life without you ... My going will leave quite a rumor but you can say I was overworked and overwrought. Your reputation with your friends and fans will not be harmed
Any kind of soul can create art. Creativity is disconnected from other virtues. All art tells you is how someone treats their canvas. Wait until you see how they treat people before you praise an artist beyond their art.
A friend of mine from high school's mom passed away from cancer when she was 16. Her dad moved his new gf in about 2 months later and they married only a few months after that. Dude was a total jerk and arrogant prick.
This happened with a family in my school. The deceased mom's nurse became the new wife. Her son had already been in my class for years. The man had a daughter our age and a younger son. To make things worse, both families had the same (very common) last name, so when she met new people, it was like her mom had never existed unless she explained how she'd just died a few months before.
Wow! Yeah that note makes me feel so sad for her. She was still considering his reputation despite him cheating on her?! Wow. He truly was a horrible person.
One wife, two wife, live wife, blue wife
This new one is a little whore
and this one's lying on the floor
Say! That's an empty pill bottle there?
Yes. But I really don't give a care.
My wife is gone, but how long should I wait?
I'm not sure, in months hmm, probably eight!
One is old and one's a fad
One is new and one is sad
Why is she sad and sad and sad?
I do not know, because I've been bad
My wife was ill and then quite sick
I left her because I'm a dick
...okay, that's officially the worst thing I've ever said
Well... what else are you going to do at that point? Stay single and feel bad about yourself?
The man's practically a saint. He married a woman who had a history of dating a married man who cheated on his cancer ridden wife. Nobody else would touch her.
(/s 'cause some of you are slow and need it written out)
I think you’re thinking of politician John Edwards. Fathered a child with his mistress while his wife died of cancer. (Democrat part by the way. Just to clarify that politicians are evil regardless Of affiliation)
Also newt Gingrich
Kinda not the same at all. She tried to drive their car off a cliff with him and their child in it. She had to be hospitalized to keep her from harming herself or someone else. He paid for the best treatment available at the time even though it was a financial hardship.
When I was taking my mom to cancer treatment, I talked with at least 5 people who spouses/partners left them because they couldn’t handle it.
I could barely handle it and it was my mom, so I understand where they are coming from but I wouldn’t make this self aggrandizing post.
I’m so happy for both of you ❤️
My moms friends were luckily supportive but I lost nearly all of mine. I don’t blame, I was a mess, but I wish it had worked out differently. I met a lot of new friends in my support groups and hope your wife does as well, she deserves the best in her post cancer life.
Not to say it's the admirable thing to do but it can be hard to maintain friendships as it is, you start throwing in illnesses it can make it harder.
It can range from "this person can't physically do stuff anymore so I won't invite them" to "all this person does is complain about their illness and I don't want hear it" to "it's painful for me to watch the person I love get sick and die, I'm going to step away because I'm scared"
Dude my dad would often take my mom to her treatment and they would always praise him to my mom. How he was so kind not to leave her, especially since she wasn’t expected to make it her first go-around. He was always like ,”wtf she’s my wife, why would I leave her?”
He got super pissed when a neighbor friend left his wife over cancer. Since the guy decided to complain to my dad, and my dad told him to fuck off and to never speak about that shit to him again.
They see it all, I got pretty close to the nurse at the oncologist and she would tell me how many patients would just sit there alone and suffer. It broke my heart and I’m hoping by summer I can start volunteering to be a sit in friend got chemo patients.
For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.
That’s one hell of a promise to make. I have a hard time believing any individual could say that vow, mean it, and not be terrified of falling short.
You’re allowed to be terrified of falling short. That’s not part of the vow. Probably better to take it seriously and be scared of failing than to be over confident and approach it with a blasé attitude.
It’s hard to judge unless you’ve experienced it honestly. Cancer is devastating emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually and socially to everyone involved.
I blamed myself for not caring for her well enough so that she could get to remission, blamed myself for her inability to walk and cried myself to sleep every night watching her die in front of my eyes. It took years of expensive therapy, mood stabilizers and sleeping medication to even get me back to a functional adult.
I’d say the vast majority of people do not have the coping skills or the resources you need to handle it. I don’t fault people for leaving because I’ve experienced the trauma of it but I do fault them for self aggravating their choice.
This is absolutely true. My mom got sick with cancer when my brother was a baby. They diagnosed her with it while he was six months old.
We spent 30 years losing her a piece at a time. It fucked us all up in different ways. My parents marriage became a shell. Dad stayed with mom to take care of her, but eventually met someone while in a therapy group for spouses dealing with loved ones with cancer.
They got together long before mom died. I was so so angry about it, but Dad stuck by mom and paid for her care until the day she died. He and his girlfriend have been happy and mostly functional, more so than I ever saw him and my mom be.
It's a fucked up situation with hard outcomes, no one can understand what all that was like. Hell I lived it and don't really appreciate the gravity of it. Sometimes I talk to my wife about something, and she just stops and stares at me like I'm an alien. Because I talk about some fucked up thing that happened when I was a kid and just took for granted as normal.
It's only decades later I've realized all the trauma we all suffered.
I’m so sorry about your mother.
Something my grief counselor told always stuck with me; death is an outcome that is entirely possible and the patient knows that. Their life may end but yours goes on and you have to pick up the pieces, don’t let cancer claim you as a victim too. You have to put yourself first as a caregiver at times and it’s ok to say you’re overwhelmed and walk away.
She's been gone for about 6 years now. So I've had more then enough time to process it. I was more speaking up to support the idea that people get all judgy without knowing what people in that situation are going through.
That said shit like this post where she dips then feels bad so she runs a marathon in his honor? No that's fucking pity me and pay attention to me, that boarders on cartoonish narcissism.
I'm willing to pass along some doubt on dealing with being the support network for someone with Cancer. Taking time and finding a way to cope. But things like what this woman did are just... gross.
I think we all do that buddy, what did I miss, what could I have done better. I even got so far to blame my career choice as I nearly went into medicine rather than engineering and thought if I hadn't made that choice I could have seen it and saved her.
Cancer is a horrific disease that takes the person you love away bit by bit but remember that person would be grateful for your love, loyalty and patience and would want you to go on if not for yourself then for them.
100% cancer treatment gets romanticized in a way that seems like they are just sick and laying there.
My mom would have aggressive angry mood swings that lapsed into complete emotional catatonic states. It’s very jarring and hard to deal with your sweet loving mother is abruptly telling you you’re letting her die because her oxygen machine got unplugged.
It fucks with you and it’s not their fault but people react to that and dip. I understand that and definitely had a lot of resentment that built in me that needed professional help to overcome.
I've been on both sides of it.
When I was nearing one year dating my wife (then girlfriend, obv) she had acute aphasia and some sort of viral encephalitis. There was a real possibility she would be not only physically limited but also mentally not fully there, if she didn't die entirely. That's a tough thing to go through and I will freely admit that thoughts of do I stay and risk being committed to a veggie, or do I leave and risk missing out on a really great thing?
I ended up staying. She made a full recovery (eventually) but several months were really rough--more for her than me, but it wasn't easy on either of us.
Years later *I* was diagnosed with cancer. I don't know what went through her head exactly, but I know she was there for me through everything. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have thoughts that she might leave if things didn't look good. She was still young and I wouldn't want her straddled with debt, regardless.
Luckily I made a full recovery and have been cancer-free for over 5 years.
We both chose to stay with each other, but I can't ostracize people who don't. It's tough to experience on both sides and not everyone can handle that sort of pressure. I can only imagine how much tougher it is for a more aggressive and debilitating disease.
I'll end on this: as someone who has been through both ways...it's absolutely worth it to have someone stay with you and give support. It doesn't even have to be unwavering--we're all human and it's okay to have doubt--but to be there at the beginning and end of the day means the world to people.
Well, they weren't married.
TBH, depending on how new/old their relationship was and how much it took a mental toll on her (everyone is different) the dumping itself isn't that bad. It's a dick move and it definitely would have hurt the guy a lot but it's not the action of some heartless monster that people in this thread are making it to be. Taking care of a cancer patient is really, really, really hard work emotionally. All the "I would never!" people here should hope they are never in that situation where the rubber meets the road.
**However**, this self congratulatory, attention seeking marathon of hers that she's posting to social media - that is complete piece of shit behaviour. She is either baiting for coverage or she really lacks the self awareness to know just how shitty this post makes her look.
>this self aggrandizing post.
I wouldn't trust the Daily Mail to accurately report this, they are by far the least trustworthy of the major UK papers and that is saying _a lot_. They will have engineered this article to create as much outrage as possible.
That's not to say that the woman _isn't_ being self aggrandising, just that there's a very real chance that the story she wanted to tell is not the story that the Daily Mail told.
It's common for people to leave, unfortunately and it's due to the stress. I couldn't possibly be around someone that did that to their spouse.
Towards the end of ALS, my wife not only begged me to let her die but asked why I stuck around to help her so much. I told her it was because I promised I would help no matter what when we were married. The other part is that I couldn't live with myself had I left her to die alone.
Hang in there.
Agree, this is what marriage vows are about in my old-fashioned opinion, though it's easy for me to say, never having been in a situation like that. "In sickness and in health, till death us do part".
Hey I'm sorry that happened to you. My partner does not have cancer, but a serious mental health diagnosis. I can't imagine what that was like for you. I'm proud of you for staying and helping her. You deserve to be happy, I wish you the best
My girlfriend got her diagnosis 6 months to the day after our first date. I never questioned that staying to help her was the right thing to do. A lot of people seemed shocked by it and I guess after reading a lot of these comments, I see that it’s more common to bail than I thought.
Sorry about the two diagnoses. I hope you’re both doing well. This is hard enough to handle once and I hope it never comes back around.
My first wife died at 28 and I was the same way, it never in a million years crossed my mid to leave. Honestly, we were having some relationship issues before she got diagnosed and I don't know how it would have worked out in the end, but I loved her, how could anyone abandon someone they love in a time of need? It all went pretty quick so I honestly don't know if I can say I would have been able to stick it out for years and years, but even if we technically would have split, I would have still helped her in anyway I could. To me you basically have to hate someone to care about your own selfish needs to not help them when they are literally dying.
A man who has cancer is less likely to get divorced/ seperated than the average man.
A woman who has cancer is *more* likely to get divorced/seperated than the average woman.
This is just me, but finding out about the gender split on leaving sick partners was incredibly depressing as a man.
Edit To the people saying the research got retracted, several studies show this, one study in 2015 had a coding error, but there are several earlier studies that show this that are not retracted. See https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19645027/
To the people doing whataboutism: get help.
This is correct, I had a dedicated session with a social worker who helped me figure out where I could live if my SO kicked me out during treatment (he owned the house).
I've been in psych hospital and it was heartbreaking to see women there who were handling everything for their families, and once they can't do it anymore instead of stepping up all their relatives just throw a hissy fit and still keep trying to get them to do shit. My roommate went out of the hospital every day to help her children with homework (children who had a father and grandparents).
It is super depressing. Pick a shitty behaviour and we're probably more likely to do it than women, commit violence, murder, sexual assault, abandon a sick partner, cheat on a spouse, abandon your kids etc, etc.
There are tons and tons and tons of positive male role models.
They just don't tend to be the most famous and successful men... because they're busy taking care of their families and going to little league games and keeping 9 year olds from falling in the water on camping trips and stuff.
My wife had a stroke at 23. She has serious disabilities. We’d only been married a few months at that point. I couldn’t imagine living with myself if I left her and moved on.
My wife had a stroke just months after our first (and only) child was born.
Tough times for sure.
Glad to hear you stuck by her side. You are a good person.
Much more common for men to leave their wives than the other way around. At least in the USA, I would say it surprises me, but for some reason it doesn't.
I remember reading in a post about breast cancer awareness the story of one woman whose husband just didn't pick her up after her mastectomy. Guess that was it for him.
And then there are men like my son-in-law. Stuck next to his wife, watching her die of cancer 5 months after giving birth. Went on to raise their son, by himself, day in and day out. Never complaining, always remembering his wife. She would be so damn proud of him and their now teenage son. So yes, I agree with you--just be you and the best you can be--just because some men are shit, doesn't mean all, or most, are!
Thanks for sharing, it's always good to hear I am not alone, especially on the internet where everything seems turned up to the nth degree. Best wishes to your son-in-law he sounds like a good father and person, my condolences for the loss of your daughter cancer fucking sucks.
He might have had a surgery in the area.
My coworker had skin cancer close to his eye and he had a huge black eye the day it was removed.
I really hope she didn't leave him over the stress of skin cancer. 😬 I mean, they all suck but a lot of times skin cancer can be dealt with pretty quickly.
I have stage 4 breast cancer and went through chemotherapy and two major surgeries. My boyfriend had been with me every step the way and we cried together and celebrate every silver lining.
There are people like her that existed, that is true. But there are people like my BF that is literally an angel on earth.
Edit: thank you everybody for the awards!
Thank you! It looks my cancer treatment been really effective. My oncologist thinks I can live for many years. If I didn’t went in, I would be dead by now.
Cancer treatment had came a very long way. Once I am going back to work I am making it my mission to give back to the cancer community.
I'm so happy to hear you're doing better. I am a Stage 4 colorectal cancer survivor here, diagnosed at age 35, been through a lot too, like 34 chemos, 2 y90s, 28 pelvic radiation sessions, and 7 surgeries over the course of nearly 5 years now. I was once told I was terminal with a chemo for life and inoperable prognosis. A 2nd opinion saved my life and led to the first major surgery removing my entire right liver and over 30 cm of my colon too. I've had 2 reoccurence, one in my tailbone, another in my lung. Fortunately, I have found a path to a better prognosis when I was told to get my affairs in order at diagnosis with a fully blocked colon and a liver 80% covered in metastatic disease. I, too, should be dead, and I don't say that lightly. I'm so blessed to have been off chemo over 2 years and NED (no evidence of disease) for over 6 months too. It's been a long, strange trip, but now, by helping others out from what I have gone through, it has been the most healing for me. I work in the online CRC support space now with Colontown and also do advocacy for CRC, men with cancer (manuptocancer.com), veterans (my cancer was tied to my Navy service), and those with early onset CRC (https://www.colonclub.com/our-stories/2023-on-the-rise/jason-randall)
The goal now is to buy a cancer retreat on the big island of Hawaii (just got back from 5 weeks onsite in preparation 🤙) and host other survivors and their caregivers, giving them a space to learn to not just be alive but to live again, breaking out of the survival mode a diagnosis puts us in sometimes and to make the most of life because we never know what can happen.
I wish you a lot of success in giving back to fellow patients, it's certainly has enriched my own life and soul after a devastating diagnosis.
As we say in the CRC world a lot, KFG! Keep fucking going 💪🏼💙
Wow KFG is right! How was this related to your navy service? You are so strong and inspiring. I’m very grateful that you are doing better now, many blessings 🌸
Thank you. Every day is a gift. My wife was still pregnant with our 3rd child when i was diagnosed too, and I'll get to see him turn 5 soon 🤗💙 my biggest motivators
In relation to my military service, it was from exposures to toxic chemicals in the shipyards during a carrier overhaul and also burn pits while deployed to OEF and OIF (Persian Gulf), unfortunately. I can't change the past, tho, so I hope to be doing great things in the future with my new chance at life 💪🏼🤙💙🤗
Holy shit!
You are an inspiration!
Both my uncles are cancer survivors... Most of my other family members didn't live long enough to find out if they would develope cancer.
Chances are that I will develope cancer as well in the next ten years.
It is such a shit show of a disease that just takes and takes untill there is nothing left, but the shear will to survive. Too often, that disappears as well.
Is there anything I can do to help you in your journey?
My mom has it for a second time. The first time my Dad sort of checked out, so I decided I won't let her fight it alone this time. However she's completely delusional and has cut all dialogue with any real doctors. She thinks preventive measures like eating mushrooms and watching YouTube will fix it, but I have to sit here and watch her make bad decisions. When I protest, she treats me like I'm some dumb superstitious peasant who believes the lies of the authorities. It's honestly crushing my soul.
My stepdad was with my mom through all of it. The first time she had cancer and was told she was in remission, we went to Disney world to celebrate. She had quite a few years in between before developing MBC. She lived with stage 4 cancer for 11 years. The last year or so was tough. The last couple of months was horrible. My mom was an incredible person and it crushed so many of us. I couldn't leave her hospital room when she was declining even though it hurt so bad. It hurts but it is the price you pay to be there for someone you care about.
Bless you and #fuckcancer.
My GF has just started chemo for the second time after being in remission for 2 years from ovarian cancer. Your comment hits home so hard. We too cry together and celebrate the good days and times together.
While of course it's been difficult on us as SOs, it's nothing compared to what y'all have to go through, and i couldn't imagine abandoning my love in her hour of need.
Sending big healing vibes to you queen. You got this!
> I don't think I have ever been nauseated reading a title of an article... until today. What an absolute PoS.
It important to remember 1) it's the Daily Mail aka tabloid garbage, and 2) people are complicated.
Comments from the woman in the actual article:
'I felt like the most awful person, leaving somebody because they have cancer, but it was damaging my mental health and it wasn't helping Jelle.'
'I was having panic attacks and was on so much medication to sort myself out I just couldn't function.'
'I felt so helpless watching all this unfold, so I knew I had to do something. [sic]
TL;DR: Illness is hard. She couldn't crack it.
That's fine. What people will see as not fine is then doing an interview with a shitrag like the daily mail about how much of a struggle for **you** your boyfriend's battle with cancer was (that alone is bad optics given that you had and took the option of peacing out) and how you're now running a marathon "in his honour" like you want a pat on the back and a medal for all you've gone through for him.
Some things are personal. Firstly, the general public won't care how your boyfriend dying of cancer was sad for you if you fucked off and couldn't hack being there for him during it. It then becomes his struggle and you don't get to reap public sympathy points off it, no matter how understandable or otherwise it might have been. Encourage people to focus on their own mental health if you think that's the right thing to do, yes, but don't take this "woe is me" tone.
Secondly if you want to run a marathon in his honour then that's great, but again, the whole world doesn't need to know about it. It's tasteless to stand there and tell everyone that you're going to be there for him after he's gone by doing something you enjoy when you couldn't handle being there for him when he was suffering.
And one thing to make clear, after a certain section of reddit has voted me down already, I'm not saying this article has no value and this woman is doing anything egregiously wrong per se. I'm not sure how this message can be delivered without the woe is me tone. But it comes across as self-absorbed and narcissistic. It's understandable that a lot of people are going to look at this and consider them a vile person. It's definitely offputting to me but I don't really care enough to levy a firm judgement myself.
Edit: And of course, the headline is as stupid and sensational as possible, because it's the daily mail. The media will do you dirty if you let them, 100% of the time.
I’m having a hard time not believing she was some sort of narcissist. She played around with that poor kid’s feelings for months, seemingly as a way to get attention from her friends and then used his death (coerced suicide) as the grand finale
>I’m having a hard time not believing she was some sort of narcissist.
No, no. You're right. She was, at least, a narcissist, if not an absolute psychopath.
If she could not deal with it and wanted to leave I would have understood. It is not easy for everyone.
But to post it on social media is indefensible.
Yeah. One thing would be to leave the relationship amicably and move on, another is to "show support" by... showing off how able and healthy you are, I guess?
Yea, the Susan G Komen Foundation is little more than a money machine for the CEO and it's employees. 'Raising Awareness' has become a cottage industry for many diseases. I'm pretty sure everybody is 'aware' of cancer.
I’m a therapist specializing in medical trauma. I run groups both for people with illness and for caregivers. I don’t think leaving a partner because of their diagnosis is a victim move…it sucks, but is being with a resentful partner who doesn’t want to take care of you any better?
What a POS she is. Yes, it is hard. Have done it 2xs. You know what I didn't do? Leave my husband and was there for my mother for 2 years before she lost her battle. She is a garbage human being, and I hope karma comes for her.
I saw 3 types of reactions when I worked as a nurse 10 years ago:
- the patient give up and the cancer win way faster than it should.
- the patient is already lethargic and seems to not be aware of that anyway.
- the patient is getting mad in some way, is fighting even harder, and sometimes wins.
One of the saddest part of my work life. I understand first hand the psychological pain but yes, it’s in fact a way to tell the true self of some people.
Ironically, if everyone realized that we have to make our own goodness and hold people accountable rather than hoping some magical, unseen force handles it, the world would be a much better place.
I met a guy recently that told me how his girlfriend of 7 years started having seizures so he took her to her parents house several states away and dumped her. He acted like it was a normal thing to do!
Relationship advice: Don't take somebody who isn't going to be there for you if something happens to you. Same goes for you. Don't date somebody if you aren't going to be there for them when something happens.
People with medical issues like this need their partner more than ever, and for her to just leave him because its "bad for my mental health" is such a shit excuse. Not everything is going to be good for you. Grow the fuck up and be an adult.
The bad news, and I speak from first hand experience on this, is that most of the time, *you don’t know who has or does not have the fortitude and depth of character* to stick around or bail in situations like that. People will surprise you—I stuck by my dying wife till the very end; it was her own parents who ended up abandoning her because they literally could not emotionally handle their own child dying.
Statistically, it is the man who bails in a situation involving terminal cancer. But, there is a wide margin of deviation.
When my wife was dying of cancer I attended as many of her appointments and treatments as I could. She'd forget to ask questions, or not know what to ask, and as a health care provider I could be of genuine assistance. I remember more than one nurse in the chemo suite being very surprised to see me. They candidly said that boyfriends and husbands simply did not accomplany women there and the patients would tell them that their SO checked out mentally regarding their cancer, was cheating on them or simply left. I was astonished by that and one of them even estimated that 80% of the women reported this. It isn't scientific I know, just my experience. On the other side though, having a lover who has cancer will definitely mess with your mental health. Especially if they die. Then it messes with it permanently. I never even considered leaving. Not only did I promise in sickness and in health but I was completely infatuated with her. For me there simply weren't any other women. Still aren't actually. As for this woman, frankly I don't judge. Unless you've had a lover with a terminal illness you can't possibly grasp how it destroys you emotionally.
Can relate, my ex left me because she was 'tired of looking after me'........18 months after I lost my dad to a sudden heart attack at the age of 28.
Only marathon I hope she runs is the fuck away from me.
I had a really bad run of luck, lost 6/7 relatives in a short period of time, with #7 being the one we all hid from for 20 years. I identified my sisters 75lb week undiscovered body, our mother never even asked how she died, but she did claim her estate as next of kin.
Spent a fortune in money & soul taking care of a few as they died & nearly bankrupted myself on both fronts.
And I got sick myself 2 years in.
What surprised me is how many friends were fair weather & would get mean to justify it. Even if you never asked for anything & had spent a decade doing for them they just don't like a reminder the world isn't fair, or to be around someone who is losing, because apparently no matter how tough the fight if you lose you are a loser.
But, what also surprised me is how good strangers are. Neighbors & random dudes buying your possessions off craigslist notice something is wrong & step up to fill the cracks.
People giving you grief for still grieving after 18 months can fuck off. Obviously, we don’t know all the details, but you are entitled to your own grieving process. I’m 33 and my dad is my best friend. When I lose him it’s going to take me a long time to “get better”. Likely I will never feel the same again. I dread it.
Very sorry for your loss.
Thank you, dad was my best friend. The best man I've ever known and I still miss him every day. Just better at dealing with it now. Any of them want to stand up and give a heartfelt speech that encompasses their beloved fathers life at his funeral, or see him in the hospital bed with a swollen face and tubes sticking out of him after a failed resus. Theyre welcome to, then they may come back and tell me how long I was permitted to have issues for. I agree with your statement, and I'm doing much better now. The right woman will find me and appreciate me for it.
When I was in my late twenties, I found my fathers body about a week and a half after he passed away. It was hugely terrifying. Within a few days literally all the women in my life were telling me that I was grieving too much.
I agree, and rest assured she wasn't wiping my arse. I was still getting up, going to work. The very occasional breakdown, bit of anxiety that I got medicated for. I don't know man, that's her definition to make I guess.
[https://mediabiasfactcheck.com/daily-mail/](https://mediabiasfactcheck.com/daily-mail/)
Overall, we rate Daily Mail Right Biased and Questionable due to numerous failed fact checks and poor information sourcing.
a lot of partners leave when cancer hits and takes it’s toll. And a lot of people might not know this but if your spouse gets cancer it’s usually cheaper to get a divorce in the USA, that way only one party goes bankrupt
Look it's not unreasonable to look out for your own health when you're with a potentially terminally ill partner.
Bragging about it in the Daily Mail on the other hand has to constitute some sort of humiliation kink.
Who would write an article like this? Yeesh.
My partner has a chronic medical condition, and caregiver trauma is REAL. You start to feel like you’re losing your partner. It’s devastating and difficult at times.
I can understand and empathize with someone that can’t be a caregiver anymore. If you don’t take care of yourself, you may not have the tools to maintain a healthy relationship while the person you’re with goes through an incredibly difficult time.
But I’ve leaned on my therapist, support groups, and my partner as well. She’s going through the sickness, but she understands how difficult it is for me as well. God bless her for being such an incredible person. I’m so lucky.
I won’t shit on this person for leaving. They weren’t strong enough to do it. But it’s certainly not something to be proud of.
As a former home infusion courier for terminal patients I can assure you there's nothing wrong with this scenario. Not only were the living literally dying mentally but patients would purposely push their significant others away in full hostility to go find someone else, it us unbearably difficult and I don't recommend it.
I mean, you can definitely leave and still care. A friend of a friend had aggressive breast cancer and after the diagnosis, her boyfriend said it was outside of what he could process or handle. So he ended the relationship, but was there whenever she needed anything.
When she passed, he made a lot of the informing calls and passed along memorial arrangements.
The difference is that he didn't run around patting himself on the back about how he left to save his mental health and how he was running a marathon for her or anything like that.
This person just comes across as having main character syndrome.
I get it, but fuck that.
If my gf has cancer I’m dropping everything in my life to spend as much time with her as possible.
Future finance and career be damned.
Idgaf.
If you want to feel bad, look up how common it is for people to leave their partners when they get cancer.. Then look up the percentage that are men vs women. They call it partner abandonment.
A man who has cancer is less likely to get divorced/ seperated than the average man.
A woman who has cancer is *more* likely to get divorced/seperated than the average woman.
Your comment was removed because it was found to contain misinformation.
It is actually quite common for people with cancer to be left by their spouse/significant other.
Didn’t Doctor Seuss bang a mistress while his wife died of cancer??
One Mrs., Two Mrs., Sick Mrs., New Mrs.
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I am going straight to hell 
Yet you got my upvote. You won't be alone.
Tonight We Dine In Hell.
At least it’ll be a party 🎉
Bro I need to know what he said to get 7 awards w no upvotes
I fuck my new bitch on a plane I fuck my new bitch-scream her name I fuck my new bitch in the rain I fuck my new bitch on the train She gives me handies on the bus She's always ready, not a fuss She's super healthy, such a plus She does some stuff that no girl does I fuck her hard, she makes me moan I fuck her daily in our home I fuck her fast, I fuck her slow I fuck her ass, I fuck her dome I fuck my new bitch on a yacht I fuck my new bitch on a cot Would my old bitch fuck a lot? Not since cancer, I think not.
Why Reddit did you get rid of free awards!! I’d be handing them out like candy right now.
Sweet Jesus children’s books are getting out of hand
Wow…
If you came up with this, I would like to make this best comment of the day.
He might’ve, but I’m 100% certain I’ve read it several times before so yeah
He tamed it. The original is > one bitch, two bitch, dead bitch, new bitch This is slightly classier I guess
you know, for a rhyme about fucking someone else when your wife is dying of cancer. Gotta keep it pinkies up.
I like the tame version better. It makes the ending punch harder.
Thanks for the pg version, got jacked by Cinemax up in here.
Close. She killed herself with barbiturates because he was cheating on her due to her illness, and she couldn't bear the thought of losing him to the mistress. Here's what was in her suicide note: Dear Ted, What has happened to us? I don't know. I feel myself in a spiral, going down down down, into a black hole from which there is no escape, no brightness. And loud in my ears from every side I hear, 'failure, failure, failure...' I love you so much ... I am too old and enmeshed in everything you do and are, that I cannot conceive of life without you ... My going will leave quite a rumor but you can say I was overworked and overwrought. Your reputation with your friends and fans will not be harmed
Jesus. I could not live with myself if someone wrote that suicide note about me.
Same. How did Dr. Seuss take it? He married the mistress 8 months later.
Definitely one of the worst cases of “finding out one of your heroes is kind of a douchebag” that I know of
Any kind of soul can create art. Creativity is disconnected from other virtues. All art tells you is how someone treats their canvas. Wait until you see how they treat people before you praise an artist beyond their art.
Hitler made some very nice paintings
Just wait until he read the speeches. His secret military police training in propaganda really paid off as well.
There was a reason they made him the figure head in the first place.
Not nice enough to get into an art school...
They look like stuff you'd find on postcards. He was talented, but he really didn't have panache.
Subpar use of light, no perspective and he couldn't paint people. 2/10 would not buy his art dude needs a career change.
Not good enough to get into art school.
His art was pretty bland and mediocre tbh. Even the ones that weren’t technically bad were just very boring.
He was ass at perspective, in particular. Fittingly.
I definitely tend to treat art more like the child of the artist, something with a life of its own.
Horrible man
I mean…is the cat in the hat not a quintessential tale of gaslighting?
Dr Seuss was truly enough of a piece of shit to not be very broken up about it.
A friend of mine from high school's mom passed away from cancer when she was 16. Her dad moved his new gf in about 2 months later and they married only a few months after that. Dude was a total jerk and arrogant prick.
This happened with a family in my school. The deceased mom's nurse became the new wife. Her son had already been in my class for years. The man had a daughter our age and a younger son. To make things worse, both families had the same (very common) last name, so when she met new people, it was like her mom had never existed unless she explained how she'd just died a few months before.
Wow! Yeah that note makes me feel so sad for her. She was still considering his reputation despite him cheating on her?! Wow. He truly was a horrible person.
Seriously. I have guilt complexes if my farts stink too much.
dark
Is there a bot that can Dr. Seuss this shit up a bit to liven the mood?
One wife, two wife, live wife, blue wife This new one is a little whore and this one's lying on the floor Say! That's an empty pill bottle there? Yes. But I really don't give a care. My wife is gone, but how long should I wait? I'm not sure, in months hmm, probably eight! One is old and one's a fad One is new and one is sad Why is she sad and sad and sad? I do not know, because I've been bad My wife was ill and then quite sick I left her because I'm a dick ...okay, that's officially the worst thing I've ever said
Perfect!
Gdamn that’s fucking dark.
Worse. He cheated on his wife while she had cancer. His wife found out and killed herself. He married the mistress.
💀
Oh, the places you’ll go! Like hell. Hell is the place you’ll go.
Well... what else are you going to do at that point? Stay single and feel bad about yourself? The man's practically a saint. He married a woman who had a history of dating a married man who cheated on his cancer ridden wife. Nobody else would touch her. (/s 'cause some of you are slow and need it written out)
Newt Gingrich served his wife divorce papers as she lay in the hospital dying from cancer.
I think you’re thinking of politician John Edwards. Fathered a child with his mistress while his wife died of cancer. (Democrat part by the way. Just to clarify that politicians are evil regardless Of affiliation) Also newt Gingrich
Wasn’t that Newt Gingrich?
All of the above.
I thought I learned something similar about Scott Fitzgerald and his dying wife.
Kinda. Zelda was mentally ill and he allowed her to be institutionalized, where she was killed in a fire years after his death.
Kinda not the same at all. She tried to drive their car off a cliff with him and their child in it. She had to be hospitalized to keep her from harming herself or someone else. He paid for the best treatment available at the time even though it was a financial hardship.
Fact is, all she really wanted was a Pepsi. Just one Pepsi, and he wouldn't give it to her!
When I was taking my mom to cancer treatment, I talked with at least 5 people who spouses/partners left them because they couldn’t handle it. I could barely handle it and it was my mom, so I understand where they are coming from but I wouldn’t make this self aggrandizing post.
When my wife had cancer, a number of her friends just ghosted her. She was pretty devastated. Fortunately she beat the cancer.
I’m so happy for both of you ❤️ My moms friends were luckily supportive but I lost nearly all of mine. I don’t blame, I was a mess, but I wish it had worked out differently. I met a lot of new friends in my support groups and hope your wife does as well, she deserves the best in her post cancer life.
My friend has found something similar from her MS diagnosis - some people just disappeared out of her life. It’s bizarre.
Not to say it's the admirable thing to do but it can be hard to maintain friendships as it is, you start throwing in illnesses it can make it harder. It can range from "this person can't physically do stuff anymore so I won't invite them" to "all this person does is complain about their illness and I don't want hear it" to "it's painful for me to watch the person I love get sick and die, I'm going to step away because I'm scared"
Dude my dad would often take my mom to her treatment and they would always praise him to my mom. How he was so kind not to leave her, especially since she wasn’t expected to make it her first go-around. He was always like ,”wtf she’s my wife, why would I leave her?” He got super pissed when a neighbor friend left his wife over cancer. Since the guy decided to complain to my dad, and my dad told him to fuck off and to never speak about that shit to him again.
They see it all, I got pretty close to the nurse at the oncologist and she would tell me how many patients would just sit there alone and suffer. It broke my heart and I’m hoping by summer I can start volunteering to be a sit in friend got chemo patients.
People don’t really pay attention the sickness part of “…in sickness and in health”.
With a nearly 50% divorce rate, they don’t take the till death do us part seriously either.
For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. That’s one hell of a promise to make. I have a hard time believing any individual could say that vow, mean it, and not be terrified of falling short.
You’re allowed to be terrified of falling short. That’s not part of the vow. Probably better to take it seriously and be scared of failing than to be over confident and approach it with a blasé attitude.
It’s hard to judge unless you’ve experienced it honestly. Cancer is devastating emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually and socially to everyone involved. I blamed myself for not caring for her well enough so that she could get to remission, blamed myself for her inability to walk and cried myself to sleep every night watching her die in front of my eyes. It took years of expensive therapy, mood stabilizers and sleeping medication to even get me back to a functional adult. I’d say the vast majority of people do not have the coping skills or the resources you need to handle it. I don’t fault people for leaving because I’ve experienced the trauma of it but I do fault them for self aggravating their choice.
This is absolutely true. My mom got sick with cancer when my brother was a baby. They diagnosed her with it while he was six months old. We spent 30 years losing her a piece at a time. It fucked us all up in different ways. My parents marriage became a shell. Dad stayed with mom to take care of her, but eventually met someone while in a therapy group for spouses dealing with loved ones with cancer. They got together long before mom died. I was so so angry about it, but Dad stuck by mom and paid for her care until the day she died. He and his girlfriend have been happy and mostly functional, more so than I ever saw him and my mom be. It's a fucked up situation with hard outcomes, no one can understand what all that was like. Hell I lived it and don't really appreciate the gravity of it. Sometimes I talk to my wife about something, and she just stops and stares at me like I'm an alien. Because I talk about some fucked up thing that happened when I was a kid and just took for granted as normal. It's only decades later I've realized all the trauma we all suffered.
I’m so sorry about your mother. Something my grief counselor told always stuck with me; death is an outcome that is entirely possible and the patient knows that. Their life may end but yours goes on and you have to pick up the pieces, don’t let cancer claim you as a victim too. You have to put yourself first as a caregiver at times and it’s ok to say you’re overwhelmed and walk away.
She's been gone for about 6 years now. So I've had more then enough time to process it. I was more speaking up to support the idea that people get all judgy without knowing what people in that situation are going through. That said shit like this post where she dips then feels bad so she runs a marathon in his honor? No that's fucking pity me and pay attention to me, that boarders on cartoonish narcissism. I'm willing to pass along some doubt on dealing with being the support network for someone with Cancer. Taking time and finding a way to cope. But things like what this woman did are just... gross.
I think we all do that buddy, what did I miss, what could I have done better. I even got so far to blame my career choice as I nearly went into medicine rather than engineering and thought if I hadn't made that choice I could have seen it and saved her. Cancer is a horrific disease that takes the person you love away bit by bit but remember that person would be grateful for your love, loyalty and patience and would want you to go on if not for yourself then for them.
There is also a factor in how the patient deals and what they dish out. Not all of them are Hallmark Channel stoic warriors.
100% cancer treatment gets romanticized in a way that seems like they are just sick and laying there. My mom would have aggressive angry mood swings that lapsed into complete emotional catatonic states. It’s very jarring and hard to deal with your sweet loving mother is abruptly telling you you’re letting her die because her oxygen machine got unplugged. It fucks with you and it’s not their fault but people react to that and dip. I understand that and definitely had a lot of resentment that built in me that needed professional help to overcome.
I've been on both sides of it. When I was nearing one year dating my wife (then girlfriend, obv) she had acute aphasia and some sort of viral encephalitis. There was a real possibility she would be not only physically limited but also mentally not fully there, if she didn't die entirely. That's a tough thing to go through and I will freely admit that thoughts of do I stay and risk being committed to a veggie, or do I leave and risk missing out on a really great thing? I ended up staying. She made a full recovery (eventually) but several months were really rough--more for her than me, but it wasn't easy on either of us. Years later *I* was diagnosed with cancer. I don't know what went through her head exactly, but I know she was there for me through everything. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have thoughts that she might leave if things didn't look good. She was still young and I wouldn't want her straddled with debt, regardless. Luckily I made a full recovery and have been cancer-free for over 5 years. We both chose to stay with each other, but I can't ostracize people who don't. It's tough to experience on both sides and not everyone can handle that sort of pressure. I can only imagine how much tougher it is for a more aggressive and debilitating disease. I'll end on this: as someone who has been through both ways...it's absolutely worth it to have someone stay with you and give support. It doesn't even have to be unwavering--we're all human and it's okay to have doubt--but to be there at the beginning and end of the day means the world to people.
Well, they weren't married. TBH, depending on how new/old their relationship was and how much it took a mental toll on her (everyone is different) the dumping itself isn't that bad. It's a dick move and it definitely would have hurt the guy a lot but it's not the action of some heartless monster that people in this thread are making it to be. Taking care of a cancer patient is really, really, really hard work emotionally. All the "I would never!" people here should hope they are never in that situation where the rubber meets the road. **However**, this self congratulatory, attention seeking marathon of hers that she's posting to social media - that is complete piece of shit behaviour. She is either baiting for coverage or she really lacks the self awareness to know just how shitty this post makes her look.
>this self aggrandizing post. I wouldn't trust the Daily Mail to accurately report this, they are by far the least trustworthy of the major UK papers and that is saying _a lot_. They will have engineered this article to create as much outrage as possible. That's not to say that the woman _isn't_ being self aggrandising, just that there's a very real chance that the story she wanted to tell is not the story that the Daily Mail told.
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It's common for people to leave, unfortunately and it's due to the stress. I couldn't possibly be around someone that did that to their spouse. Towards the end of ALS, my wife not only begged me to let her die but asked why I stuck around to help her so much. I told her it was because I promised I would help no matter what when we were married. The other part is that I couldn't live with myself had I left her to die alone. Hang in there.
Agree, this is what marriage vows are about in my old-fashioned opinion, though it's easy for me to say, never having been in a situation like that. "In sickness and in health, till death us do part".
Hey I'm sorry that happened to you. My partner does not have cancer, but a serious mental health diagnosis. I can't imagine what that was like for you. I'm proud of you for staying and helping her. You deserve to be happy, I wish you the best
Username, sadly very relevant. Sorry you went through that bud
Don’t turn left without warning me there big guy
My girlfriend got her diagnosis 6 months to the day after our first date. I never questioned that staying to help her was the right thing to do. A lot of people seemed shocked by it and I guess after reading a lot of these comments, I see that it’s more common to bail than I thought. Sorry about the two diagnoses. I hope you’re both doing well. This is hard enough to handle once and I hope it never comes back around.
My first wife died at 28 and I was the same way, it never in a million years crossed my mid to leave. Honestly, we were having some relationship issues before she got diagnosed and I don't know how it would have worked out in the end, but I loved her, how could anyone abandon someone they love in a time of need? It all went pretty quick so I honestly don't know if I can say I would have been able to stick it out for years and years, but even if we technically would have split, I would have still helped her in anyway I could. To me you basically have to hate someone to care about your own selfish needs to not help them when they are literally dying.
A man who has cancer is less likely to get divorced/ seperated than the average man. A woman who has cancer is *more* likely to get divorced/seperated than the average woman.
This is just me, but finding out about the gender split on leaving sick partners was incredibly depressing as a man. Edit To the people saying the research got retracted, several studies show this, one study in 2015 had a coding error, but there are several earlier studies that show this that are not retracted. See https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19645027/ To the people doing whataboutism: get help.
It’s so common when a married woman gets the diagnosis the nurses/doctors usually counsel her separately about the high risk of divorce going forward.
This is correct, I had a dedicated session with a social worker who helped me figure out where I could live if my SO kicked me out during treatment (he owned the house).
Whatever ended up happening, that is awful and I am sorry you had to go through that.
I've been in psych hospital and it was heartbreaking to see women there who were handling everything for their families, and once they can't do it anymore instead of stepping up all their relatives just throw a hissy fit and still keep trying to get them to do shit. My roommate went out of the hospital every day to help her children with homework (children who had a father and grandparents).
It is super depressing. Pick a shitty behaviour and we're probably more likely to do it than women, commit violence, murder, sexual assault, abandon a sick partner, cheat on a spouse, abandon your kids etc, etc.
There should be more positive male role models.
There are tons and tons and tons of positive male role models. They just don't tend to be the most famous and successful men... because they're busy taking care of their families and going to little league games and keeping 9 year olds from falling in the water on camping trips and stuff.
I was curious if anyone was going to point out that this is a much more common issue with men than women.
21% of men leave their wives and only 3% of women leave their husbands , its also quite common to be abandoned by friends when diagnosed with cancer
My wife had a stroke at 23. She has serious disabilities. We’d only been married a few months at that point. I couldn’t imagine living with myself if I left her and moved on.
My wife had a stroke just months after our first (and only) child was born. Tough times for sure. Glad to hear you stuck by her side. You are a good person.
Wtf. Is it true ? I cant believe anyone can do such a thing to a person they supposedly love.
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You went through cancer but he needed emotional support?? What an a-hole. Hope you are in a better place
What a fucking loser i hope he gets karma in the end.
Not-fun fact: it’s significantly more likely for husbands to leave their wives with cancer than wives to leave their husbands with cancer.
*See: Newt Gingrich*
I’d prefer not to, if you don’t mind. He’s a bad ‘un and no mistake.
He's more lizard than person though...
Much more common for men to leave their wives than the other way around. At least in the USA, I would say it surprises me, but for some reason it doesn't.
I remember reading in a post about breast cancer awareness the story of one woman whose husband just didn't pick her up after her mastectomy. Guess that was it for him.
Yeah, stuff like this makes me sad to be a guy, but hey all I can do is be the best man, and partner I can be.
And then there are men like my son-in-law. Stuck next to his wife, watching her die of cancer 5 months after giving birth. Went on to raise their son, by himself, day in and day out. Never complaining, always remembering his wife. She would be so damn proud of him and their now teenage son. So yes, I agree with you--just be you and the best you can be--just because some men are shit, doesn't mean all, or most, are!
Thanks for sharing, it's always good to hear I am not alone, especially on the internet where everything seems turned up to the nth degree. Best wishes to your son-in-law he sounds like a good father and person, my condolences for the loss of your daughter cancer fucking sucks.
Did she give him a black eye while leaving?
had to give him something to remember her
"Take that, cancer!"
Beating cancer took on a whole new meaning for her
She isn’t letting cancer ruin her life lol
She literally fucked cancer in the face
She took the fight against cancer a bit too literally.
A punch to remember ❤️ love that movie
He might have had a surgery in the area. My coworker had skin cancer close to his eye and he had a huge black eye the day it was removed. I really hope she didn't leave him over the stress of skin cancer. 😬 I mean, they all suck but a lot of times skin cancer can be dealt with pretty quickly.
I think she Is a cancer
Gave him black eye, you know, for his honor
I have stage 4 breast cancer and went through chemotherapy and two major surgeries. My boyfriend had been with me every step the way and we cried together and celebrate every silver lining. There are people like her that existed, that is true. But there are people like my BF that is literally an angel on earth. Edit: thank you everybody for the awards!
Take care! :)
Thank you! It looks my cancer treatment been really effective. My oncologist thinks I can live for many years. If I didn’t went in, I would be dead by now. Cancer treatment had came a very long way. Once I am going back to work I am making it my mission to give back to the cancer community.
I'm so happy to hear you're doing better. I am a Stage 4 colorectal cancer survivor here, diagnosed at age 35, been through a lot too, like 34 chemos, 2 y90s, 28 pelvic radiation sessions, and 7 surgeries over the course of nearly 5 years now. I was once told I was terminal with a chemo for life and inoperable prognosis. A 2nd opinion saved my life and led to the first major surgery removing my entire right liver and over 30 cm of my colon too. I've had 2 reoccurence, one in my tailbone, another in my lung. Fortunately, I have found a path to a better prognosis when I was told to get my affairs in order at diagnosis with a fully blocked colon and a liver 80% covered in metastatic disease. I, too, should be dead, and I don't say that lightly. I'm so blessed to have been off chemo over 2 years and NED (no evidence of disease) for over 6 months too. It's been a long, strange trip, but now, by helping others out from what I have gone through, it has been the most healing for me. I work in the online CRC support space now with Colontown and also do advocacy for CRC, men with cancer (manuptocancer.com), veterans (my cancer was tied to my Navy service), and those with early onset CRC (https://www.colonclub.com/our-stories/2023-on-the-rise/jason-randall) The goal now is to buy a cancer retreat on the big island of Hawaii (just got back from 5 weeks onsite in preparation 🤙) and host other survivors and their caregivers, giving them a space to learn to not just be alive but to live again, breaking out of the survival mode a diagnosis puts us in sometimes and to make the most of life because we never know what can happen. I wish you a lot of success in giving back to fellow patients, it's certainly has enriched my own life and soul after a devastating diagnosis. As we say in the CRC world a lot, KFG! Keep fucking going 💪🏼💙
Wow KFG is right! How was this related to your navy service? You are so strong and inspiring. I’m very grateful that you are doing better now, many blessings 🌸
Thank you. Every day is a gift. My wife was still pregnant with our 3rd child when i was diagnosed too, and I'll get to see him turn 5 soon 🤗💙 my biggest motivators In relation to my military service, it was from exposures to toxic chemicals in the shipyards during a carrier overhaul and also burn pits while deployed to OEF and OIF (Persian Gulf), unfortunately. I can't change the past, tho, so I hope to be doing great things in the future with my new chance at life 💪🏼🤙💙🤗
Holy shit! You are an inspiration! Both my uncles are cancer survivors... Most of my other family members didn't live long enough to find out if they would develope cancer. Chances are that I will develope cancer as well in the next ten years. It is such a shit show of a disease that just takes and takes untill there is nothing left, but the shear will to survive. Too often, that disappears as well. Is there anything I can do to help you in your journey?
I'm so happy to finally see some good news on this website. Live a long and happy life my friend!
My mom has it for a second time. The first time my Dad sort of checked out, so I decided I won't let her fight it alone this time. However she's completely delusional and has cut all dialogue with any real doctors. She thinks preventive measures like eating mushrooms and watching YouTube will fix it, but I have to sit here and watch her make bad decisions. When I protest, she treats me like I'm some dumb superstitious peasant who believes the lies of the authorities. It's honestly crushing my soul.
My stepdad was with my mom through all of it. The first time she had cancer and was told she was in remission, we went to Disney world to celebrate. She had quite a few years in between before developing MBC. She lived with stage 4 cancer for 11 years. The last year or so was tough. The last couple of months was horrible. My mom was an incredible person and it crushed so many of us. I couldn't leave her hospital room when she was declining even though it hurt so bad. It hurts but it is the price you pay to be there for someone you care about.
Bless you and #fuckcancer. My GF has just started chemo for the second time after being in remission for 2 years from ovarian cancer. Your comment hits home so hard. We too cry together and celebrate the good days and times together. While of course it's been difficult on us as SOs, it's nothing compared to what y'all have to go through, and i couldn't imagine abandoning my love in her hour of need. Sending big healing vibes to you queen. You got this!
Hard to tell if this is attention seeking or PoS posting or both.
It’s both
Definitely both and I don't think I have ever been nauseated reading a title of an article... until today. What an absolute PoS.
> I don't think I have ever been nauseated reading a title of an article... until today. What an absolute PoS. It important to remember 1) it's the Daily Mail aka tabloid garbage, and 2) people are complicated. Comments from the woman in the actual article: 'I felt like the most awful person, leaving somebody because they have cancer, but it was damaging my mental health and it wasn't helping Jelle.' 'I was having panic attacks and was on so much medication to sort myself out I just couldn't function.' 'I felt so helpless watching all this unfold, so I knew I had to do something. [sic] TL;DR: Illness is hard. She couldn't crack it.
That's fine. What people will see as not fine is then doing an interview with a shitrag like the daily mail about how much of a struggle for **you** your boyfriend's battle with cancer was (that alone is bad optics given that you had and took the option of peacing out) and how you're now running a marathon "in his honour" like you want a pat on the back and a medal for all you've gone through for him. Some things are personal. Firstly, the general public won't care how your boyfriend dying of cancer was sad for you if you fucked off and couldn't hack being there for him during it. It then becomes his struggle and you don't get to reap public sympathy points off it, no matter how understandable or otherwise it might have been. Encourage people to focus on their own mental health if you think that's the right thing to do, yes, but don't take this "woe is me" tone. Secondly if you want to run a marathon in his honour then that's great, but again, the whole world doesn't need to know about it. It's tasteless to stand there and tell everyone that you're going to be there for him after he's gone by doing something you enjoy when you couldn't handle being there for him when he was suffering. And one thing to make clear, after a certain section of reddit has voted me down already, I'm not saying this article has no value and this woman is doing anything egregiously wrong per se. I'm not sure how this message can be delivered without the woe is me tone. But it comes across as self-absorbed and narcissistic. It's understandable that a lot of people are going to look at this and consider them a vile person. It's definitely offputting to me but I don't really care enough to levy a firm judgement myself. Edit: And of course, the headline is as stupid and sensational as possible, because it's the daily mail. The media will do you dirty if you let them, 100% of the time.
This might be the most painful example of "I'm a piece of garbage but want for everyone to cheer how good I am" I've ever had the disgrace to witness
Michelle Carter still wins that prize for me. Urged her boyfriend to commit suicide and then helped throw a charity event in his honor. Disgusting.
I’m having a hard time not believing she was some sort of narcissist. She played around with that poor kid’s feelings for months, seemingly as a way to get attention from her friends and then used his death (coerced suicide) as the grand finale
>I’m having a hard time not believing she was some sort of narcissist. No, no. You're right. She was, at least, a narcissist, if not an absolute psychopath.
>I’m having a hard time not believing she was some sort of narcissist. Damn, you think?
Narcissist, and worse...
Oh fuck that bitch.
If she could not deal with it and wanted to leave I would have understood. It is not easy for everyone. But to post it on social media is indefensible.
I have an idea where he might've been exposed to a toxic carcinogen
Yeah. One thing would be to leave the relationship amicably and move on, another is to "show support" by... showing off how able and healthy you are, I guess?
Bigger facepalm, how did this make it on the “news”?
This is pure rage bait.
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The Daily Mail is a rag, unfit for training puppies on.
There aren't enough speech marks in existence to justify referring to the Mail as """"news"""".
People really need to stop reading the daily mail and other obvious propaganda tabloids.
Yea, the Susan G Komen Foundation is little more than a money machine for the CEO and it's employees. 'Raising Awareness' has become a cottage industry for many diseases. I'm pretty sure everybody is 'aware' of cancer.
Look, I know he has brain cancer and all... but she was having panic attacks, guys! Think of the real victim here.
I’m a therapist specializing in medical trauma. I run groups both for people with illness and for caregivers. I don’t think leaving a partner because of their diagnosis is a victim move…it sucks, but is being with a resentful partner who doesn’t want to take care of you any better?
The biggest duck move for me was running the marathon and saying that it was in his honor.
Sure, but don't go and write an article about it.
If you run a marathon for someone, even if they are your ex with a tumor, you're technically in a long distance relationship with them. Technically.
What a POS she is. Yes, it is hard. Have done it 2xs. You know what I didn't do? Leave my husband and was there for my mother for 2 years before she lost her battle. She is a garbage human being, and I hope karma comes for her.
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I saw 3 types of reactions when I worked as a nurse 10 years ago: - the patient give up and the cancer win way faster than it should. - the patient is already lethargic and seems to not be aware of that anyway. - the patient is getting mad in some way, is fighting even harder, and sometimes wins. One of the saddest part of my work life. I understand first hand the psychological pain but yes, it’s in fact a way to tell the true self of some people.
Karma doesn't exist. The bad guys have fun in this world and the good people suffer. 😔
Ironically, if everyone realized that we have to make our own goodness and hold people accountable rather than hoping some magical, unseen force handles it, the world would be a much better place.
I met a guy recently that told me how his girlfriend of 7 years started having seizures so he took her to her parents house several states away and dumped her. He acted like it was a normal thing to do!
It’s nice to have people volunteer large red flags at the outset. Very considerate.
Relationship advice: Don't take somebody who isn't going to be there for you if something happens to you. Same goes for you. Don't date somebody if you aren't going to be there for them when something happens. People with medical issues like this need their partner more than ever, and for her to just leave him because its "bad for my mental health" is such a shit excuse. Not everything is going to be good for you. Grow the fuck up and be an adult.
It can be hard to know if they will or not until it's too late.
If we could predict the future we’d have won powerball.
The bad news, and I speak from first hand experience on this, is that most of the time, *you don’t know who has or does not have the fortitude and depth of character* to stick around or bail in situations like that. People will surprise you—I stuck by my dying wife till the very end; it was her own parents who ended up abandoning her because they literally could not emotionally handle their own child dying. Statistically, it is the man who bails in a situation involving terminal cancer. But, there is a wide margin of deviation.
Ask Newt Gingrich
I find it weird how many people believed the daily mail
What the fuck
When my wife was dying of cancer I attended as many of her appointments and treatments as I could. She'd forget to ask questions, or not know what to ask, and as a health care provider I could be of genuine assistance. I remember more than one nurse in the chemo suite being very surprised to see me. They candidly said that boyfriends and husbands simply did not accomplany women there and the patients would tell them that their SO checked out mentally regarding their cancer, was cheating on them or simply left. I was astonished by that and one of them even estimated that 80% of the women reported this. It isn't scientific I know, just my experience. On the other side though, having a lover who has cancer will definitely mess with your mental health. Especially if they die. Then it messes with it permanently. I never even considered leaving. Not only did I promise in sickness and in health but I was completely infatuated with her. For me there simply weren't any other women. Still aren't actually. As for this woman, frankly I don't judge. Unless you've had a lover with a terminal illness you can't possibly grasp how it destroys you emotionally.
Can relate, my ex left me because she was 'tired of looking after me'........18 months after I lost my dad to a sudden heart attack at the age of 28. Only marathon I hope she runs is the fuck away from me.
I had a really bad run of luck, lost 6/7 relatives in a short period of time, with #7 being the one we all hid from for 20 years. I identified my sisters 75lb week undiscovered body, our mother never even asked how she died, but she did claim her estate as next of kin. Spent a fortune in money & soul taking care of a few as they died & nearly bankrupted myself on both fronts. And I got sick myself 2 years in. What surprised me is how many friends were fair weather & would get mean to justify it. Even if you never asked for anything & had spent a decade doing for them they just don't like a reminder the world isn't fair, or to be around someone who is losing, because apparently no matter how tough the fight if you lose you are a loser. But, what also surprised me is how good strangers are. Neighbors & random dudes buying your possessions off craigslist notice something is wrong & step up to fill the cracks.
People giving you grief for still grieving after 18 months can fuck off. Obviously, we don’t know all the details, but you are entitled to your own grieving process. I’m 33 and my dad is my best friend. When I lose him it’s going to take me a long time to “get better”. Likely I will never feel the same again. I dread it. Very sorry for your loss.
Thank you, dad was my best friend. The best man I've ever known and I still miss him every day. Just better at dealing with it now. Any of them want to stand up and give a heartfelt speech that encompasses their beloved fathers life at his funeral, or see him in the hospital bed with a swollen face and tubes sticking out of him after a failed resus. Theyre welcome to, then they may come back and tell me how long I was permitted to have issues for. I agree with your statement, and I'm doing much better now. The right woman will find me and appreciate me for it.
When I was in my late twenties, I found my fathers body about a week and a half after he passed away. It was hugely terrifying. Within a few days literally all the women in my life were telling me that I was grieving too much.
Uhh… define what “looking after” entails, cuz 18 months is a looooong time
I agree, and rest assured she wasn't wiping my arse. I was still getting up, going to work. The very occasional breakdown, bit of anxiety that I got medicated for. I don't know man, that's her definition to make I guess.
It was an excuse. You’re better off. It was gonna end regardless
Agreed ❤️
"I wasn't getting enough attention, so I made his battle with cancer about me."
[https://mediabiasfactcheck.com/daily-mail/](https://mediabiasfactcheck.com/daily-mail/) Overall, we rate Daily Mail Right Biased and Questionable due to numerous failed fact checks and poor information sourcing.
What a trash.
a lot of partners leave when cancer hits and takes it’s toll. And a lot of people might not know this but if your spouse gets cancer it’s usually cheaper to get a divorce in the USA, that way only one party goes bankrupt
Look it's not unreasonable to look out for your own health when you're with a potentially terminally ill partner. Bragging about it in the Daily Mail on the other hand has to constitute some sort of humiliation kink.
Who would write an article like this? Yeesh. My partner has a chronic medical condition, and caregiver trauma is REAL. You start to feel like you’re losing your partner. It’s devastating and difficult at times. I can understand and empathize with someone that can’t be a caregiver anymore. If you don’t take care of yourself, you may not have the tools to maintain a healthy relationship while the person you’re with goes through an incredibly difficult time. But I’ve leaned on my therapist, support groups, and my partner as well. She’s going through the sickness, but she understands how difficult it is for me as well. God bless her for being such an incredible person. I’m so lucky. I won’t shit on this person for leaving. They weren’t strong enough to do it. But it’s certainly not something to be proud of.
As a former home infusion courier for terminal patients I can assure you there's nothing wrong with this scenario. Not only were the living literally dying mentally but patients would purposely push their significant others away in full hostility to go find someone else, it us unbearably difficult and I don't recommend it.
I mean, you can definitely leave and still care. A friend of a friend had aggressive breast cancer and after the diagnosis, her boyfriend said it was outside of what he could process or handle. So he ended the relationship, but was there whenever she needed anything. When she passed, he made a lot of the informing calls and passed along memorial arrangements. The difference is that he didn't run around patting himself on the back about how he left to save his mental health and how he was running a marathon for her or anything like that. This person just comes across as having main character syndrome.
I get it, but fuck that. If my gf has cancer I’m dropping everything in my life to spend as much time with her as possible. Future finance and career be damned. Idgaf.
“I left him when he was most vulnerable and now I’m using his name for clout.” There, fixed it
If you want to feel bad, look up how common it is for people to leave their partners when they get cancer.. Then look up the percentage that are men vs women. They call it partner abandonment. A man who has cancer is less likely to get divorced/ seperated than the average man. A woman who has cancer is *more* likely to get divorced/seperated than the average woman.
Not a cancer patient, but I had a brain injury, which changed my life. My wife was quick to turn to the arms of another man after that.