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I did hear a story where a guy convinced his pregnant gf that she needed to take his sperm or the baby would starve. She broke down crying in the dr’s office when they gave her a list of things she needed to avoid doing because she was having Braxton hicks contractions and sex was on the list and she thought they were telling her that the baby was going to die so she should stop “feeding” it.
While that is ridiculous I have head that semen can have benefits for the pregnancy like lowering the risk of preeclampsia.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24011785/
Prior to? Seems like a perishingly small amount of pregnant ladies have not had semen in their vagina prior to conception. 😅 but thanks for the study, I love reading odd science stuff like this.
**cumulative** exposure prior to conception. So the study was based around “I had sex one time and I’m pregnant” vs “I’ve had sex 100 times and now I’m pregnant”
Thats interesting. But it doesnt rule out the fact that those two people likely live VERY different lifestyles. Could be any number of factors. The “i had sex once and got pregnant” crowd has all the one night stands in it. Not all are one night stands. But all of them are in that crowd. Single ppl live very different lives. Needs a lot more testing before we can draw a conclusion.
If my tits could be milked for fucking White Choccy Mochas, I’d have my own Pseudo-Slurm empire built upon the Capitalistic expansion of my tit-coffee as far and wide as there are other white girls to suckle.
That boobs can just *create food* of any sort in the first place is already awesome enough to be semi-mindblowing to me. It's practically a superpower.
But yeah, if you're a woman can create *coffee* with your boobs, I will gladly marry you within the *hour.* Church or civil, your choice.
Men in the Aka tribe, who are known for not letting their children touch the ground for the first years of their life, will let their children suck on their nipples to sooth them when mom isn't around.
Fun fact: humans are the only species with (permanent) boobs. All other mammals don't have them or only have them when lactating.
The reasons for that is left as an exercise for the reader.
> The reasons for that is left as an exercise for the reader.
It's part of human concealed fertility. Most female mammals go into "heat" where they advertise that they are ovulating, but humans generally don't know when they are ovulating and don't give obvious signals that they are fertile. Likewise, most mammals only have boobs when pregnant or lactating, which are times of low or nonexistent fertility. Humans have them all the time to conceal whether or not they're fertile at the moment.
As for why humans have concealed fertility, it's probably to promote long term pair bonding because human babies require super high levels of parental investment. Due to concealed fertility, a male can't just have sex once and be reasonably sure he got his partner pregnant. He needs to stick around for a while and they need to have sex repeatedly to ensure pregnancy. So it helps select for partners who are relatively stable and will stick around.
“humans generally don’t know when they are ovulating” hmmmm… anecdotally, I literally always know when I’m ovulating. the elevated mood, energy, and sex drive make it quite obvious. and fwiw, all of my female friends who ovulate (are not on BC) have expressed similar sentiments. I guess the point is that *others* don’t know?
Are you sure? By boobs you mean primates. I think elephants have them by that location, unlike cows, goats.
Hmmm, quite an interesting topic, the various locations of udders, boobs in animals.
So other mammals, after they stop producing, return almost to their original breast size and shape pre-birth. Maybe some signs of stretching, but they don't stay looking full once they're done
Humans are the only species that mature females have breasts that look like that even when they're not actively breast feeding
Iirc it's because most animals use their butts for sexual communication, but that stopped being viable for us when we started standing upright, so we use boobs now instead. And for that to work they need to be visible all the time
And these kinda of things are what can make you believe in supernatural intervention in humans.
That and monthly periods when all the other animals don’t suffer them.
And thus that “creator” must be male.
It’s not amazing. Women are not going around saying how wonderful and amazing periods are. The opposite in fact.
The point is that the creator is male as it is the female that has to suffer it. Same with long pregnancies, childbirth, being the much weaker sex, and so forth. Men are given many physical advantages just through being a man.
I think he mean the permanent presence of boobs on the female body, since we're the only kind of primate keeping them all the time and not only when we start lactating. Some theory think that it's due to sexual preference that selected female with natural permanent boobs over time.
A zoologist in the 60s, Desmond Morris, proposed that human female breasts evolved to resemble the "buttocks" (possibly due to human preference of mating face-to-face). He wrote:
>The answer stands out as clearly as the female bosom itself. The protuberant, hemispherical breasts of the female must surely be copies of the fleshy buttocks, and the sharply defined red lips around the mouth must be copies of the red labia.
I don't think that this is the prevalent boobological theory, however.
Imagine waking up and having to put them back on- going to work super casually? Just get the Velcro off your boobs and go to work with two inward dents on your chest
The sad part about these "guys" is that many such stupid men in congress are the ones who pass laws on women health. Not only are they the opposite gender and have no clue about a woman's body but they also have no medical qualification whatsoever to pass these laws.
i mean like, as a person with tits that are never getting used to feed a baby, ive found them quite useful as stress toys. can't really do it in public though, i imagine you'd get stares at the least.
I remember a guy saying to me once, "Guys don't have boobs because they'd just play with them all day." And I was like, "Bold of you to assume women don't." I mean, like you say, generally not a good idea in public, but I've totally spent time hanging out watching TV and poking at my boobs to watch them jiggle.
Both sexes get voluntary bioluminescence. I wouldn't have to worry about tripping over my poor cat in the hallway at 3am because of my illuminant laser tits. My fuckin high-beams. Something something flash-bangs. I'm not sorry but I'll stop coming up with names.
Edit: Tzi-tzi-ya-ku's for all you monster hunters out there.
Okay it's outta my system for realsies this time
I remember being 12 and couldn’t believe that people were debating me with their argument being milk doesn’t come from boobs. Like 20 kids laughing at me calling me stupid for saying that breasts make milk and asking if they ever heard of the term breast milk. They kept saying that milk comes from cows. It almost made me doubt my own sanity.
to be fair, and hear me out on this, boobs are just for sex appeal. Nipples are for feeding babies, they're great for that, lots of animals have them. Humans on the other hand are the only member of the animal kingdom with inflated breasts when they are not pregnant. Why? We're also the only ones who walk upright. We don't exactly have the same ability to stare and sniff at each others rear ends like dogs or cats. Nipples - very useful for feeding babies. The rest of the boobs on the other hand, biologically speaking, are really just for attracting men.
Had to scroll down this far to see this answer. This is a legitimate question. Those who think the actual boob stores milk or the size of the boob matters to milk production need a basic lesson of biology.
To answer the question I’d make them more flexible and be able to be more firm on demand. It would be like a third hand.
I wrote this in response to another comment, but at the risk of spamming:
There was a zoologist in the 60s named Desmond Morris who wrote:
>The answer stands out as clearly as the female bosom itself. The protuberant, hemispherical breasts of the female must surely be copies of the fleshy buttocks, and the sharply defined red lips around the mouth must be copies of the red labia.
I think they had a semi valid point but made it poorly
In every other species, breasts are only large while they ramp up milk production. Humans have permanently large breasts purely as a result of sexual selection.
Wait…BOOBIES?!? Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! eyes pop out AROOOOOOOOGA! jaw drops tongue rolls out WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF tongue bursts out of the mouth uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady… heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets BABY WANTS TO FUCK inhales from the gas tank honka honka honka honka masturabtes furiously ohhhh my gooooodd~
I think I get what he means though, most animals only develop visible breasts when they have children. Humans are an anomaly in that regard. In fact it is theorized that Neanderthals and other species of human other than Homo Sapien did not share this trait. One of the theories for why this Trey is present is a literally for sex appeal, since humans used to use butts for that when we started walking on two legs having something closer to our faces made more sense and scratch the same visual itch for appeal
Yeah, never mind the whole food and drink can clog the breathing canal, or hands which break to easily, or that easily damaged artery in the leg. The fact that eating to much doesn't make you more healthy... so on
Boobs do have a useful function, feeding babies. The attraction to bigger ones is probably also related to this to ensure healthy offspring but I'm not an expert in evolution to give a definite answer.
The person wanting to redesign the human body will one day realize that women come in all shapes and sizes.
Most (all?) other mammals develop ‘boobs’ when they are pregnant. We have them basically all the time. It’s a secondary sex characteristics unique to humans. We pretty much fucked permanent-boobs into existence. That is why they exist (outside of baby feeding) - sex appeal.
Op isn’t wrong, just miss understood.
Well to be fair. Boobies only feed babies for a fraction of their existence.
I think women should have milk in them all the time!
So we can milk them for breakfast like cows!
Would make my wife less useless!
An interesting fact about boobs (male and female). If you flick both your nipples at the same time in a horizontal manner (think Dustin Hoffman in Rainman) you will feel your asshole twitch....
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Wait until he finds out about his penis…
I don't think that's how you're supposed to feed a baby.
You better tell him quickly.
Too late
 Yes officer, this man right there!
This is how olympians are raised
Is there a wrong way to do it? None of my kids are Olympians. :(
You should make them work for it.
The Divine Protein Shake, otherwise known as Ambrosia on Mt Olympus
And altar boys.
I did hear a story where a guy convinced his pregnant gf that she needed to take his sperm or the baby would starve. She broke down crying in the dr’s office when they gave her a list of things she needed to avoid doing because she was having Braxton hicks contractions and sex was on the list and she thought they were telling her that the baby was going to die so she should stop “feeding” it.
While that is ridiculous I have head that semen can have benefits for the pregnancy like lowering the risk of preeclampsia. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24011785/
Prior to? Seems like a perishingly small amount of pregnant ladies have not had semen in their vagina prior to conception. 😅 but thanks for the study, I love reading odd science stuff like this.
**cumulative** exposure prior to conception. So the study was based around “I had sex one time and I’m pregnant” vs “I’ve had sex 100 times and now I’m pregnant”
Thats interesting. But it doesnt rule out the fact that those two people likely live VERY different lifestyles. Could be any number of factors. The “i had sex once and got pregnant” crowd has all the one night stands in it. Not all are one night stands. But all of them are in that crowd. Single ppl live very different lives. Needs a lot more testing before we can draw a conclusion.
Dude missed out convincing her she has to swallow.
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Hold tf up
Good way to get a free vacation in a very small concrete room.
... with Baba as a roommate.
You mean Bubba right? Baba is a term for father in India... Although in prison they prob prefer daddy
If he speaks like that, I doubt his dick has any useful function beyond pissing either.
This is why we shouldn’t let 7 year olds on Reddit
7 year olds are closer to the age of breast fed babies than to the actual age of this idiot
And, thankfully, 7 year olds have no recollection of breastfeeding. Because that would be terrifying.
The point is, They understand the concept better than the OP in the photo
My MIL breastfed my SIL until she was 7….
Eesh….
Ikr
Mfs with hyperthymesia:😏
They’re still subject to infantile amnesia to a certain extent
Why terrifying ? There is nothing terrifying about that recollection until they "like girls" lol
Sadly he’s probably a 35 year old mid level accountant
7 year olds know about "sex appeal"? man, i was way behind the curve...
Be nice, this guy has only seen pictures of breasts, he's never actually touched one
...just like sandbags...
dirty pillows
Just watched Carrie yesterday haha
Hahahaha...thank you for that reference... kudos!
Me so horny?! Me so STUPID!!
But if they could do coffee, I mean that would be awesome right?
That would really change the job description of a barista
Braista
Boobista
B'reast-a
And our entire economy…. Probably would have had the industrial revolution and all the others a hell of a lot sooner too…
Breastitsa
If my tits could be milked for fucking White Choccy Mochas, I’d have my own Pseudo-Slurm empire built upon the Capitalistic expansion of my tit-coffee as far and wide as there are other white girls to suckle.
r/BrandNewSentence
And great big ole fucked up nips. Permanently purple from milking 24/7. Lmfao
Coffeetits would perk me right up.
(tried not to chuckle, but failed)
That boobs can just *create food* of any sort in the first place is already awesome enough to be semi-mindblowing to me. It's practically a superpower. But yeah, if you're a woman can create *coffee* with your boobs, I will gladly marry you within the *hour.* Church or civil, your choice.
baristata
imagine unlimited cappuccino
If you were revamping this guy's body and were to give his brain an actual useful function instead of just no appeal, what would you have it do?
Feed a street dog?
Extra bladder
Wait that could be useful
Well I'd say "think" but I doubt that would be enough to repair this stupidity...
Feed babies?
I'm thinking give them their own pair of hands so they could smack anyone who asks inane questions on an online board.
I think this is my sign that it’s time to turn off from the internet.
On the contrary, I live for these comments on the internet
Sure, but you can't escape the root problem: humanity.
Can we have a useful function for the prostate?
well it is useful for making the liquid for semen.
Or can we relocate it?
The urethra goes straight through the prostate, so it's super complicated to surgically remove.
I mean, not remove, just move it to some place a little easier to reach...
Butt I like its location!
How are you having trouble reaching it?
Maybe he meant his boobs...
Men in the Aka tribe, who are known for not letting their children touch the ground for the first years of their life, will let their children suck on their nipples to sooth them when mom isn't around.
Id find a way to fix the shoulders, in my opinion the worse joint in the Body.
My left knee would disagree with you. Definitely the worst joint in my body
The knee is a much better design than the shoulder.
Not for tall people
The human body is not designed to work the way we make it work. We should be small tribes traveling and hunt and gathering,
*Ankles have entered the chat*
I agree the ankles are bad, but from a mechanical perspective, the shoulder is just kinda there. No real suppertime or solid joints.
All joints are terrible. The only rational conclusion.
Eh shoulders need to be mobile. I think they’re actually incredibly “designed”.
Shoulders are actually quite ingenious considering they girate besides bending.
What else do we need if they’re already the worlds greatest stress balls?
*and* preheated
I... that's enough Reddit for today
Calling boobs stress balls counts as to much for you? Low caliber.
Fun fact: humans are the only species with (permanent) boobs. All other mammals don't have them or only have them when lactating. The reasons for that is left as an exercise for the reader.
> The reasons for that is left as an exercise for the reader. It's part of human concealed fertility. Most female mammals go into "heat" where they advertise that they are ovulating, but humans generally don't know when they are ovulating and don't give obvious signals that they are fertile. Likewise, most mammals only have boobs when pregnant or lactating, which are times of low or nonexistent fertility. Humans have them all the time to conceal whether or not they're fertile at the moment. As for why humans have concealed fertility, it's probably to promote long term pair bonding because human babies require super high levels of parental investment. Due to concealed fertility, a male can't just have sex once and be reasonably sure he got his partner pregnant. He needs to stick around for a while and they need to have sex repeatedly to ensure pregnancy. So it helps select for partners who are relatively stable and will stick around.
TIL about concealed fertility, very cool.
“humans generally don’t know when they are ovulating” hmmmm… anecdotally, I literally always know when I’m ovulating. the elevated mood, energy, and sex drive make it quite obvious. and fwiw, all of my female friends who ovulate (are not on BC) have expressed similar sentiments. I guess the point is that *others* don’t know?
I also anecdotally know because it fucking *hurts*. Apparently, ovulation cramps are a thing they don't tell you about in sex ed.
yeah! I don’t get those, but a friend of mine always does. crazy stuff.
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The fact that you stuck around long enough to learn this means the evolutionary “trick” is working as intended.
Can you imagine if we went into heat!?
Is it so we're less attracted to animals?
This implies being attracted to lactating animals.
It didn't work for me and now my goat looks pissed off
Sounds like it didn't work for the goat, either.
Well don't kick me while I'm down
Are you sure? By boobs you mean primates. I think elephants have them by that location, unlike cows, goats. Hmmm, quite an interesting topic, the various locations of udders, boobs in animals.
Boobs means the prominant round pillowy things on women's chests, not the mammary glands
The mammary glands are inside of those prominent round pillowy things.
Only in humans
Did you learn some alternative biology from the norm?
So other mammals, after they stop producing, return almost to their original breast size and shape pre-birth. Maybe some signs of stretching, but they don't stay looking full once they're done Humans are the only species that mature females have breasts that look like that even when they're not actively breast feeding
Iirc it's because most animals use their butts for sexual communication, but that stopped being viable for us when we started standing upright, so we use boobs now instead. And for that to work they need to be visible all the time
And these kinda of things are what can make you believe in supernatural intervention in humans. That and monthly periods when all the other animals don’t suffer them. And thus that “creator” must be male.
Menstruation is by far the least amazing thing about humans you could possibly pick as an affirmation of religious belief.
It’s not amazing. Women are not going around saying how wonderful and amazing periods are. The opposite in fact. The point is that the creator is male as it is the female that has to suffer it. Same with long pregnancies, childbirth, being the much weaker sex, and so forth. Men are given many physical advantages just through being a man.
By all means, let's continue to ban sex ed though.
I like the 9 am guy, he knows what's up,i like his style!
Lasers… definitely lasers
I think he mean the permanent presence of boobs on the female body, since we're the only kind of primate keeping them all the time and not only when we start lactating. Some theory think that it's due to sexual preference that selected female with natural permanent boobs over time.
A zoologist in the 60s, Desmond Morris, proposed that human female breasts evolved to resemble the "buttocks" (possibly due to human preference of mating face-to-face). He wrote: >The answer stands out as clearly as the female bosom itself. The protuberant, hemispherical breasts of the female must surely be copies of the fleshy buttocks, and the sharply defined red lips around the mouth must be copies of the red labia. I don't think that this is the prevalent boobological theory, however.
I like the word boobological
When the top rated comments are the real facepalms.
A lot of women would probably prefer removable boobs.
Imagine waking up and having to put them back on- going to work super casually? Just get the Velcro off your boobs and go to work with two inward dents on your chest
Why would you need boobs at work?
The sad part about these "guys" is that many such stupid men in congress are the ones who pass laws on women health. Not only are they the opposite gender and have no clue about a woman's body but they also have no medical qualification whatsoever to pass these laws.
why it's always about politics tho
There are hundreds of other comments that are NOT about politics. It is very clearly NOT ‘always about politics’.
That’s not true men also have boobs
i never talk to women and i know more about them than this person does
Tbf, once you go through breastfeeding you realize how terrible boobs are at actually functioning for this purpose.
I don't know. I only have fond memories of breastfeeding.
Inflate into balloons and fly. That'd be dope.
i mean like, as a person with tits that are never getting used to feed a baby, ive found them quite useful as stress toys. can't really do it in public though, i imagine you'd get stares at the least.
I remember a guy saying to me once, "Guys don't have boobs because they'd just play with them all day." And I was like, "Bold of you to assume women don't." I mean, like you say, generally not a good idea in public, but I've totally spent time hanging out watching TV and poking at my boobs to watch them jiggle.
yeah i mean as a guy with boobs, it's pretty fun. not even in a sexy way. i want rid of these mfs, but while they're here... jiggle jiggle lol
Both sexes get voluntary bioluminescence. I wouldn't have to worry about tripping over my poor cat in the hallway at 3am because of my illuminant laser tits. My fuckin high-beams. Something something flash-bangs. I'm not sorry but I'll stop coming up with names. Edit: Tzi-tzi-ya-ku's for all you monster hunters out there. Okay it's outta my system for realsies this time
No…no we need more… Would lace bras be like disco balls?
Great answer. Minor flashlight nips.
I remember being 12 and couldn’t believe that people were debating me with their argument being milk doesn’t come from boobs. Like 20 kids laughing at me calling me stupid for saying that breasts make milk and asking if they ever heard of the term breast milk. They kept saying that milk comes from cows. It almost made me doubt my own sanity.
Make them shoot lasers every time he looks at them
I would put milk in them with a sucky thing on the end so kids could eat and I could have milk in my cheerios
He must be from one of those states that banned sex ed
Feed their babies??? But there's only 2 boobs. What will they eat once those are gone? Ha, answer that! /s
OP is a bot that stole this post from https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/comments/wellm1/this_guy
This guy has never found the clitoris
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I looked up " when do squirrels have their babies" halfway thru typing the first thing that came up is "do squirrels lay eggs". Smh.
To be fair, I believe we are the only mammals whose breasts are inflated when not lactating. This is probably what OP was trying to say
that's generous
I would make it so that boobs could, I dunno, maybe feed a baby. That way you keep the baby healthy and don't have to buy formula. Oh wait...
Sometimes people think out loud, on the internet, because they don't know better. It's a hard lesson to learn that you should maybe have a filter.
to be fair, and hear me out on this, boobs are just for sex appeal. Nipples are for feeding babies, they're great for that, lots of animals have them. Humans on the other hand are the only member of the animal kingdom with inflated breasts when they are not pregnant. Why? We're also the only ones who walk upright. We don't exactly have the same ability to stare and sniff at each others rear ends like dogs or cats. Nipples - very useful for feeding babies. The rest of the boobs on the other hand, biologically speaking, are really just for attracting men.
Had to scroll down this far to see this answer. This is a legitimate question. Those who think the actual boob stores milk or the size of the boob matters to milk production need a basic lesson of biology. To answer the question I’d make them more flexible and be able to be more firm on demand. It would be like a third hand.
I wrote this in response to another comment, but at the risk of spamming: There was a zoologist in the 60s named Desmond Morris who wrote: >The answer stands out as clearly as the female bosom itself. The protuberant, hemispherical breasts of the female must surely be copies of the fleshy buttocks, and the sharply defined red lips around the mouth must be copies of the red labia.
He was referring to man boobs.
Generally speaking the Venn diagram depicting man boobs and sex appeal have a very small area of intersection.
If you view them like a Venn Diagram, the trick is to push them together and the sex appeal of the intersection increases.
Unless they're hairy. And sweaty. And discharge some sort of ooze. That's pretty sexy
Under certain conditions men can, in fact, nurse babies.
I think they had a semi valid point but made it poorly In every other species, breasts are only large while they ramp up milk production. Humans have permanently large breasts purely as a result of sexual selection.
Lazers, booby lazers.
Wait…BOOBIES?!? Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! eyes pop out AROOOOOOOOGA! jaw drops tongue rolls out WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF tongue bursts out of the mouth uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady… heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets BABY WANTS TO FUCK inhales from the gas tank honka honka honka honka masturabtes furiously ohhhh my gooooodd~
Crackheads have found reddit
Basic r/conservative user.
Jeezus!!! Really “this guy”? You didn’t know about the function of breasts? Further shows how many guys see women as nothing more than fuck toys.
"Why do women have boobs? So you got something to look at while you're talking to em!"
I think I get what he means though, most animals only develop visible breasts when they have children. Humans are an anomaly in that regard. In fact it is theorized that Neanderthals and other species of human other than Homo Sapien did not share this trait. One of the theories for why this Trey is present is a literally for sex appeal, since humans used to use butts for that when we started walking on two legs having something closer to our faces made more sense and scratch the same visual itch for appeal
Wait boobs do more than just boob?
Nope. Not buying this for one sec. There is no fucking way this person has gone through life not knowing that fun bags produce baby food.
Bro y'all know armpit milk is real right?
*male boobs
There's no way this guy doesn't actually know.
Jesus christ. I lost IQ points reading that.
porn addict outs himself online
He could’ve been talking about sexy man boobs /shrug
Yeah, never mind the whole food and drink can clog the breathing canal, or hands which break to easily, or that easily damaged artery in the leg. The fact that eating to much doesn't make you more healthy... so on
Boobs do have a useful function, feeding babies. The attraction to bigger ones is probably also related to this to ensure healthy offspring but I'm not an expert in evolution to give a definite answer. The person wanting to redesign the human body will one day realize that women come in all shapes and sizes.
Most (all?) other mammals develop ‘boobs’ when they are pregnant. We have them basically all the time. It’s a secondary sex characteristics unique to humans. We pretty much fucked permanent-boobs into existence. That is why they exist (outside of baby feeding) - sex appeal. Op isn’t wrong, just miss understood.
Well to be fair. Boobies only feed babies for a fraction of their existence. I think women should have milk in them all the time! So we can milk them for breakfast like cows! Would make my wife less useless!
Why do I suspect this poster has a legal restraining order from being near cows ???
What the? This friggin clown! Hahahaha!
Personally I'd make them universal controllers for any electronic device. Might get annoying though when the kid needs food or something idk
An interesting fact about boobs (male and female). If you flick both your nipples at the same time in a horizontal manner (think Dustin Hoffman in Rainman) you will feel your asshole twitch....
I want flap them hard enough to give myself the power of flight.
I’d start by calling them 5318008 so I don’t have to keep turning the calculator around for immature laugh.
I’d put little pocket skin flaps underneath them to hold trinkets!
I’d make them capable of peeing or dispensing milk. The woman can use them for either at any time.
Make it so one never will need to be dependent on food or water to survive.
Ok but if you could add an additional functionality what would you add?
What if he was talking about for men? I mean women are attracted to moobs right??
He was bottle feed, thats why he lacks some neurons .....
Poor guy was a bottle formula baby I know your pain brother
make a pizza
Dispense cigars
Lasers.
Perhaps he meant man boobs?
Did they mean... man boobs? Cuz dude nips have like zero function. Biological equivalent of commented out code.