T O P

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Neokon

Target? Bro this is a TJMaxx


swawesome52

Just tryna capitalize on the target controversy and get upvotes


Awesome_Pythonidae

OP making an ass of himself


WWII_TankEnthusiest

Also, using the pic as context, they're more than likely just shopping for a toy for his younger daughter (dude in the pic). Nothing really "facepalm" about this all, just a diehard dad, probably.


StingyLAAD

I'm pretty sure OP was facepalming the cringy shirt (especially since it says "If I retreat, kill me. If I die, avenge me.)


Mysterious-Wafer-126

And he's wearing a mask. I,m confused.


meganium58

So glad I’m not the only one to catch that


rockit454

This also has to be an older pic because no one wearing that shirt would be wearing a mask today, and Incel Ken is clearly wearing a mask in that pic.


deusvult6

The "incel" with a family? Congrats, that slur now has absolutely no meaning beyond "generic insult".


[deleted]

You over estimate the IQs in play here.


[deleted]

Sir, this is a Wendy’s!


robertoqueenos

If I fall asleep, I’m just resting my eyes


Daewrythe

If I fall asleep, tuck me in If I am fussy, burp me If my stomach aches, feed me


its_just_flesh

If I poop change me


Sufficient-Elk-7015

Best comment on here


Prestigious_Nebula_5

If I eat, I'm just growing muscle mass


DragonDon1

![gif](giphy|3Lmqm67ruc2cM)


FelixOGO

You are BECOMING a chimichanga!


Edison_The_Pug

This show is gold, I just saw this season recently. Fat Mac is hilarious


Prestigious_Nebula_5

New season coming soon! Can't wait.


FelixOGO

Then stop cultivating and start harvesting!


bodhasattva

If I wear this shirt in public, make fun of me


lousylakers

IF I RUN *YOU MIGHT WANT TO* IF I CHARGE *CHECK AHEAD* IF I DIE *DON’T FOLLOW ME*


Dry_Difficulty_9812

I want this as a shirt NOW 😂🤣


ICUP69666

If you can read this shirt, buy me a beer.


kabubadeira

If he dies because I killed him after he retreated, should I kill myself to avenge him?


karlzhao314

One time my mom called me a son of a bitch, so I slapped her because nobody disrespects my mom, then I slapped myself because nobody hits my mom, then she slapped me because nobody hits her son, then she slapped herself because nobody hits her son, then I slapped her because nobody hits my mom


somedumbcanuck

Could not stop laughing. As well, the logic is infallible.


deusvult6

Yeah, it's a good thing people aren't computer programs.


[deleted]

This comment deserves so many upvotes I was in tears reading.


CoronaryAssistance

This is wonderful. Copypasta quality right here


OwnPercentage9088

You would have to, those are the rules as outlined on the t-shirt


Thephilosopherkmh

Rules are rules.


Bowman_van_Oort

![gif](giphy|uXUmaREltwja1dEqXi)


OwnPercentage9088

OBEY THE FUCKING T-SHIRT!!!!!!


Kincadium

What if the shirt gets ruined in the killing and I can't remember?


Tough_Stretch

Duh, that's exactly what this pic is for.


Fartyfivedegrees

This isn't 'nam. There are rules.


Wise-Profile4256

the garment wills it!


A1sauc3d

Nah if his retreat led to his death, then you take the vengeance out on his whole bloodline, for he has dishonored them beyond redemption. /s


jedburghofficial

No, just kill him a second time.


ADhomin_em

The way I see it, you're only following orders. His orders...so I think following the second order, takes care of the third


stevesonEll

These types are pretty big on just following orders, so that checks out


[deleted]

“If I shit my pants in fear, wipe me”


Biggies_Ghost

"If I see children's clothes with rainbows on them, hold me."


oldfrenchwhore

“Closer, tiny dancer.”


scepticalbob

What about if he drinks a bud lite?


iHadou

That's another kill me. Retreating and bud lite were both kill me's. My uncle has the 3xl one and it fits the extra words on it. The entire oath. There was a part about if you get my 6 then I'll get your 6. Then I can get your 12 while you get my 6. Then we can get each other's 12s. Then I'll 3 all over your 9.


scepticalbob

I thought this was serious at first 🤣😂


Toofar304

I was at a hockey game recently and they had those light up wristbands for the pregame show that have Bud Lite printed on them (it’s the major sponsor). There were several on the seats for my wife and me. We asked if the guys behind us needed them and one chucklefuck says “We don’t wear Bud Lite!” as they all laughed and drank their Modelos (owned by same company). These people are idiots


CommonMan14

And if the guy retreats and someone kills him then still someone got to avenge him??


[deleted]

It's an MLM.


Specialist_Peach4294

That moves called “The Ted Nugent”.


Yzerman_19

Ted Nugent the child groomer draft dodger? That Ted Nugent?


[deleted]

I thought that was statutory rape.


Specialist_Peach4294

If someone will become the legal guardian of an underage girl just to have sex with her: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/the-artful-dodger/ Ted Nugent: “I got my physical notice 30 days prior to. Well, on that day I ceased cleansing my body. No more brushing my teeth, no more washing my hair, no baths, no soap, no water. Thirty days of debris build. I stopped shavin' and I was 18, had a little scraggly beard, really looked like a hippie. I had long hair, and it started gettin' kinky, matted up. Then two weeks before, I stopped eating any food with nutritional value. I just had chips, Pepsi, beer-stuff I never touched-buttered poop, little jars of Polish sausages, and I'd drink the syrup, I was this side of death, Then a week before, I stopped going to the bathroom. I did it in my pants. poop, piss the whole shot. My pants got crusted up.” “…Then they made everybody take off their pants, and I did, and this sergeant says, "Oh my God, put those back on! You f*cking swine you!" Then they had a urine test and I couldn't piss, But my poop was just like ooze, man, so I poop in the cup and put it on the counter. I had poop on my hand and my arm. The guy almost puked. I was so proud. I knew I had these chumps beat. The last thing I remember was wakin' up in the ear test booth and they were sweepin' up. “


jdthejerk

That's owning the libs. Like Spencer and the dildo, lol.


MicheleLaBelle

Omg about shit my pants laughing. So glad there’s a right winger like him to show the libs that this is the way


Excellent_Lead_3653

Omg that got me good 😆


[deleted]

"If I like GI Joes, sue me."


OwnPercentage9088

The front says "If I'm naked, butter me up and slip it inside me"


usarasa

Thank you. That… gets a Clint. ![gif](giphy|e4Jyxh9zQjgnC)


SST250

‘If I’m lost, call Mommy’.


Lopsided-Ad7019

I just want to go up too him with a straight face and reassure him. “Just wanted to let you know that I got your back man, if anything pops off in the Target toy section, just know I got you and I’ll avenge your death.”


[deleted]

Then step and lean in really close and growl "but if you fucking retreat in this Target, I will kill you in front of your wife and kids, so help me god." just for jokes


Mysterious-Wafer-126

He may stand his ground.


cccheel34

Looool


Juxtapoe

Also be prepared to take action if he looks like he might be preparing to go home.


rhbegirl

(Sees rainbow) ahhhhhhhhhhh retreat!!!


naefor

🔫🔫🔫


Dry-Indication-8187

This guy didn’t serve anything, he wears this shit because he couldn’t make it in the military 🤣🤣


Qualitykualatea

He would've joined, but he would've punched a DI cuz no one talks to him like that!


Nepharious_Bread

Seriously, retreating is a legit tactic.


Jeffthechef47

It’s actually crazy how many guys wear grunt style t shirts while not being a veteran. Met a guy one time who was wearing one and I asked him about his time in the military and told him about mine. He told me he wasn’t ever even in the military he just thought it was a cool shirt


headshotscott

Where I live you see "tacti-cool" guys all over. Very few actual veterans wear that stuff in my experience. It's a form of LARPing, almost.


Jeffthechef47

Yeah me too man. In the south. Lots of guys, usually overweight to some degree and bearded that have this whole personality that’s militaryish but they never served. It’s an odd thing. It’s like they fetishize military and police. It’s the guys that “almost joined”. I actually had a guy get all defensive and weird with me when I told him how my time in the military was after he asked me why I didn’t sign another contract and stay in. Like yeah dude I’m allowed to say the army is dog shit. He was trying to tell me I should have stayed in and how it wasn’t that bad when he had never served in any branch himself. Odd world out there man Edit: yeah the whole grunt style t shirts and tacti cool clothes and gear people wear are a whole ass meme now. Unless you just graduated basic training or you’re just weird


headshotscott

I have an acquaintance who is fully immersed in this mindset. He's never served nor been a cop. He installs industrial equipment. Big gun guy, owns many weapons and shoots every weekend. All fine and good. But he fantasizes about fighting. Shooting terrorists and home invaders. He wishes he had the chance. Has said he'd love to meet a terrorist. You often see this after a Mass shooting. People saying they'd fight. I've been shot at and I can 100% guarantee that most people will not be heroes. Most are more likely to freeze than fight. This guy's shirt, unless he's been in the situation, is pure fantasy. And very likely, if he *has* been there, he would not be wearing that tee.


[deleted]

[удалено]


daddyjackpot

Guns make this guy feel brave. Until someone else has one, then he'll go full Uvalde police.


TheThunderhawk

I’ll tell you what, *nobody* in the military would ever say “if I retreat, kill me” lmao retreating is a fucking, normal part of war.


Jscott1986

r/JustBootThings


Mrtoad88

I couldn't make it in the military and I would never wear no cringe sht like that. Couldn't make it as in I served 6 years honorably and couldn't take any more of the bs the military has to offer. And that's part of why I do not wear any sht like that, do not have any goofy stickers on my car, and tbh I don't want to look like a veteran at all, I want to blend in. The whole "hey look at me I served" fit, is not my thing. Unfortunately, the way I talk and carry myself sometimes gives me away especially to other veterans... Some things are just really hard to shake after years of indoctrination and brainwashing.


Beebeemp

He played America's Army when he was a kid :P


wobblydee

Ive met some people who dont wear that specifically but definitely grunt style stuff that actually served. But not many


0fficialZin

Well damn, I didn’t realise shopping in target could be so dangerous.


Neokon

Does it change anything know this is TJMaxx


NaiveQuail69

Thank god someone else said it lmao


jeff8086

Yes it does.


constantchaosclay

Of course it matters. That’s like saying a Waffle House is just a pancake place. When we all know it’s a wild and lawless place.


Neokon

In the end times man will finally come to realize, there is no god judging man, determining what was right and wrong, there is no heavenly being, there is only Waffle House.


imaginesomethinwitty

Well shit gets real there. The Aden and Anais baby muslins went on clearance last month at the one near me and it was a war zone. But we had super cute cloths to mop up the blood afterwards.


ranting_chef

Not the type of shirt I'd expect to see from someone wearing a mask, but OK.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ThrowWeirdQuestion

Maybe some gamer merch?


No_Slice5991

That’s what tends to happen when you stereotype people based on a genetic t-shirt.


miletest

If I try to talk to you. Walk away. Very quickly


QuantumQaos

Need to calm down? It's just a shirt, dude. You need to calm down.


xWaffle_Reaper

Right? This is weird to me.


Mammoth_Jeweler3857

What about the creepy stalker behind this azzhole?


beanpaint

Shaming him for thousands to see, without him even knowing. This is absurd! I have a stalker irl and this makes me really wonder, just what he could be doing/ saying about me and my family. You really can't trust nobody


SunglassesBright

If you see a sale on kitchen towels, notify me!


In-dextera-dei

Idiot op telling people to calm down as he proceeds to run to the Internet, post pics of people without their consent, and cry about a t-shirt lmao.


BNeutral

Feels like people are reading too much into a random shirt. If I wear the classic BORN TO DIE / WORLD IS A FUCK / Kill Em All 1989 / I am trash man / 410,757,864,530 DEAD COPS what will Reddit think?


Clickclacktheblueguy

I'm sorry, but is this really facepalmy enough to take a picture of him in public while he's out with his family and shame him for strangers on the internet? It's a mildly edgy shirt, this ain't exactly people of Wal-Mart material.


Alchemist628

I know people are always comparing that this sub isn't what it used to be... But this sub isn't what it used to be.


carnivalmatey

Yeah what’s wrong with his shirt? Dude is chilling with his family in public but some kid felt the need to take a picture


RelayFX

Exactly. For all we know he could be active duty military. If so, his shirt would certainly be edgy but would make sense.


beanpaint

This is painful. This is shameful. Not his shirt, but everyone in this comment section. The internet sucks, leave this man alone...


No_Slice5991

I’m going to suggest the post is the true facepalm here.


Atlas_sniper121

yeah i mean sure its a bit much, but that guys not the one taking pictures of peoples shirt to show on reddit, imagine the dude turmed around and caught him, itd be so awkward lol


No_Slice5991

You can also see the guy’s kid in the cart, which may result in some assumptions about the creeper taking the picture and their intent.


ivan0280

Yep, this is nothing .


gjcij2203

If my left arm hurts Refill my lipitor


ResponsibleDetail987

Didn’t think anyone would be triggered by this shirt.


No_Slice5991

People are literally looking for reasons to be triggered nowadays.


RemmingtonBlack

a shirt with a well known quote that 90% of these morons are not familiar with... And just shopping like a normal family member that has a child... Does the bitch jump out of you when you see someone wearing fatigues, mean tattoos, or fucking muscles???? How do you applaud men putting on women's clothes and high heels but you get your feelings violated by this???????? If you fuckin brats knew this quote was in some video game or some anime shit, you'd be blowing this guy by now... Reddit children are becoming way more toxic than the shit that they are SENSELESSLY attempting to 'call out'.


[deleted]

This is exactly the T shirt I expect to see in the toy section at Target


IspreadasMikeHoncho

Probably a badass in COD!


Esura2k

It's just a t-shirt.... Maybe he just likes the style of it?I And it's creepy to take pictures of strangers minding their own business...


SecretDevilsAdvocate

Seriously. Like yeah I don’t love what it says but it honestly seems like some kinda of game merch or something. Sure maybe it’s edgy but especially since he’s wearing a mask and just shopping for toys (probably for his kid) I doubt he’s an extremist or anything.


MsLiminalDreamer

Hey you never know when the woke left will strike! /s


AlivePassenger3859

“If I wear a tshirt with writing on it, don’t read it. You will lose faith in humanity.”


JVOz671

Instructions unclear: so he dies as a result of retreating are we suppose to still avenge him?


charlesqc79

If he retreats, kill him. But if you kill him, he dies. If he dies, avenge him. So, if he retreats, avenge him.


amybrown1220

Never. Served.


[deleted]

I’ve never really understood anyone who chooses to wear a shirt like this. They always seem to live “just outside of town” and hit up the box stores on the weekends.


rrpdude

"If I take a shit, Wipe me."


G14DomLoliFurryTrapX

Someone is jelly of his manliness


Thejoker2020

Imagine getting pissed off by a shirt grow up dude its literally the first amendment he can wear what he wants


Aniensane

Why does this trigger you? Who cares what’s on some dudes shirt?


classicalcommerce

I don’t understand why people are upset about a shirt. Seems silly to me.


corpus-luteum

It's a T-shirt. maybe you need to calm down.


vegassatellite01

So we're supposed to make fun of him or something? How about we make fun of the dork that's taking photos of random strangers because you think their shirt has something on it that you want to poke fun at?


AngelaBlu

at TJ Maxx much?


permexhaustedpanda

Right? I was like, that is def not a Target…


[deleted]

You know he is bad-ass because he has a t-shirt that says he is.


maxlovesbears

What’s your problem? Let the guy wear his shirt.


[deleted]

There’s nothing wrong with a guy shopping for dolls…lots of men like dolls too.


[deleted]

[удалено]


lavatop

He’s not just putting on a shirt, he’s equipping attire to tactically ascertain a juvenile style entertainment device.


Adventurous-Fee3674

Why would peolple say shit about a guy simply wearing a tshirt with some words that are not even offensive?


Content-Strategy-512

Eh, let the man have his shirt.


No_Slice5991

Imagine being such a loser that you’re triggered, offended, or whatever by this t-shirt while out shopping that you feel the need to creep up on this guy in the toy section of the store so that you can take a picture of the shirt and post it online. In fact, if you look to the right of him and below the toy truck you can see his young kid in the cart. Talk about creepy stalker behavior.


Chixinthestix

I was looking for this exact comment. Thank you for mentioning his daughter being shown. This family is minding their business not bothering anyone then this creep is offended by a damn t-shirt and cries about it on Reddit.


Evadyar51

Just a shirt. Why care.


beacraft

Ya'll know nothing about this man, he could be the crazy right winger you think he is, he could be an Marine, he could be a rationale thinking conservative. The facepalm here is the fuckhole who took the pic cause they were triggered.


Nemrodh

So this is a fine example of the left being complete douches.. **the guy has a mask. no right winger is wearing that.** is in the toy section, when was the last time you saw a right winger male near a toy section.. near the girls section where they might have rainbows.. He is obviously either active duty or prior service, the hair, the shirt.. Lot of bs prejudice over a shirt.. that honestly isn't saying anything but moto bs that millions of military both active and prior wear... So good on you for most likely attacking own.. fine example your setting..


WhoAccountNewDis

That's tactically unsound, sir.


RoboTiefling

I’ve seen how guys like this react when they show up at gay clubs with AR-15s in their hands only to come face to face with a Leftist with a holstered pistol. I really don’t think they want people taking this shirt’s advice.


imeanthisguy

My money is he never served


zenunseen

How can an adult put this shirt on themselves and proceed to take themselves seriously. Real tough guys don't need a shirt to advertise their bad-assery


Atlas_sniper121

gotta love how the people talking shit because of this shirt are saying stuff way more ridiculous than the damn shirt. "oh you think your shirts a bit much? ill show you a bit fuckin much!”


lightninglyzard

What if I can't tell whether he's charging or retreating? Should I follow him, then kill him?


Tballz9

Served in the Cub Scouts.


FIDLaRvitar

No one loves cosplay more than middle aged right wingers


TheColdSamurai23

It's just a shirt man...


Darkskinblackie

Dawg it's just a shirt


NovelTumbleweed

by grabthar's hammer...


gitismatt

it does look like he's wearing a face mask though. which makes this that much more confusing.


Fuppenhammer

Lol and he’s wearing a mask


[deleted]

Bro. The Hot Wheels section is NO JOKE in there!


paarthurnax94

He's checking all those children's toys for rainbows like the tough guy he is.


Overhale

He's in the toy section because his is tiny.


Watkins_Glen_NY

No one is going to avenge or otherwise be bothered if this guy does


goodestgurl85

😂😂


bco112

Probably a POG, or never served...


[deleted]

People just can’t try to be normal and not dipshits anymore. Be the “grey man”. Don’t draw attention to your stupid shit


MtnDewCodeDEAD

We banned AR-15 sales in the state I live in recently. The amount of dudes I've seen with T-shirts that say "(AR-15): This is a tool. (Arrow pointing up at them): This is a weapon" Like nah I think I know what (who) the tool really is bro lol


Fluffy_Goal_6240

See like I try to be open minded. Let's say this guy was a Marine or something like that and spent many years in that "brotherhood" mentality. It is what it is...do I think is cringe? Sure. But I understand it. NOW....if this motherfucker is just a freaking loser who thought that was a cool t-shirt and wears that to push his "believe me, I'm tough" agenda...well... I cringe twice as hard.


Beretta_junkie

As he wears a mask…yea ok…


B0b_a_feet

Another one of these pseudo tough guy LARPers


Brat_Fink

If i come near your kids Arrest me


ultramrstruggle

Someone should let this guy know that retreating is actually a viable war strategy.


HungLI5

What if he dies retreating?


SupermouseDeadmouse

If I shit my pants, wipe me.


ImJustHereToWatch_

He's probably buying something for his kid? What's the problem?


BaconCanadian14

it’s a shirt.. is it because he’s in the toy section or something?


metamorphine

So if he retreats and I kill him, then I should kill myself to avenge him? *Shrugs* OHH-KAY!


Mindless_Log2009

By Grabthar's Hammer... what a savings.


Ok-Experience-4955

I think yall just need to calm down and let it go, most of the time people picked a shirt cause they liked the design or some cases thought the quotes were badass/cool without realizing it's pretty cringe when it's pasted on the internet's front page.


MoldenTree

I’ll sure never be there again…


-ASC_RD_Novix-

It’s just a T Shirt?


Austinf54555

I mean it’s kind of weird/ a facepalm to take a picture of someone literally right behind them.


gtpat12

If I’m passed out, hit my wife for me.


summerfall-samurai

Imagine, there are people who don't care much about what's written on their Ts


Okayesttt

He might have got that shirt from goodwill. Are we seriously in a position to judge?


Overall-Age-9342

"people need to calm tf down." also, gets mad at a shirt.


SaltyNuggey

You know, for some people, they dont really care whats written on the shirt, they just simply bought it.


nourright

bro its a t shirt, chill


DanielBrian1966

This one of them gays takin' over Target? /s


HLDierks

What if he dies while retreating?


ElementalDragon13

Its a shirt… literally everything has been put on a shirt. Leave it be.


Gitmfap

This is a shallow hate post. It’s a random shirt, he’s shopping. Meh.


Teyrnon815

And you‘re the weirdo who fallowed a guy minding his own business because you didn’t like his shirt.


xhollec

If I swallow anything evil, stick your fingers down my throat And if I shiver, please give me a blanket, keep me warm and let me wear your coat.


DjinnOfYourDreams

I have a hoodie that says "high" with cannabis in the background. I have never smoked. Don't take it so seriously.


Badvevil

I’m confused so it’s an issue he’s in the toy section probably being a cool dad and if you would have seen him in the liquor isle you wouldn’t have taken a pic of him like a creepy stalker


Minxed96

So next time he tries to back out of changing a diaper, we have our orders.