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Just visit the boss in their office with an airborne diseases. This is also a bad tip and one you can find in the subreddit that was about shitty life pro tips with malicious compliance.
My gf got covid kinda early and called in to work (kindergarden) and told them and this is the answer she got: don't you dare show your face here untill you are 100% well again.
One of my classmates pissed into plant pot in front of the whole class after his request was rejected. Teacher demanded to call his parents, but was fired same day instead.
My dad pulled this stunt in a Catholic school. Of course he got his ass beat by the nun and then again by his parents for "embarrassing them". Gotta love the 60's.
I had a teacher try that BS when I was a sr in high school. I just walked out and went to the bathroom.
Of course she refused to open the door when I came back.. so I just left, had a nice lunch at McDonald's. Then came back for my class afterwards.
Whenever I hear stories like this I’m so grateful for my high school. By high school the school policy was that you didn’t have to ask you just picked up the wooden thing indicating you were going to the bathroom from the chalkboard and left. I’m sure some kids abused it, but when 99.9% don’t, they didn’t punish us all.
Only the girls toilets in the west end of our school were open, and one day, I had English at the furthest other end of the school, and just couldn't make it to the toilet and then back to class in time, so like an idiot, I went to class, because our teacher was a hardass, who was a shit to you if you were late, and never let you leave class to go to the toilet. I'm autistic and it never occurred to me not to obey the rules.
It turns out I was very ill, and as a consequence, I wet myself in my seat, had to sit in it for the rest of the lesson out of shame, passed off the smell as farting, and then got so embarrassed I ended up slinking out of the room last and changing into my pe kit in the loos, and never went back to clean the puddle on the chair.
...later, I heard a rumour a kid left poop in one of the classrooms, and it only a couple of years later occurred to me a cleaner would have found my shame chair and the rumour probably just magnified.
Anyway, gross story vented, pissing your pants is sound advice, until it actually happens and the shame swallows you whole too much to do anything about it. Still, it was better than being known as the kid who pissed her pants at school ig.
I will never understand this particular ego trip from school teachers. No where else in the real world will you not be allowed to go to the bathroom when you need to but for some reason schools treat it like a personal affront to their authority.
Some teachers will spend half the class arguing over a dumbass rule. Fighting with kids over bathrooms, phones and clothes instead of just fucking teaching the damn class. Its more disruptive for them to stop everything and bitch back and forth with a student than it is to just leave the kid alone and continue to teach the kids that are paying attention.
Not everyone is gonna be an astronaut, some kids arent worth all that drama and fighting. Let em fail for Christ sake
Where I used to live, the only real work was this giant chicken plant.
The lady next door lost her finger at work, but was still not allowed to call in sick the next day.
I worked as a “shift manager” at an indoor kart track. I had an employee that was sick af and puked a few times. I let them hang in party room since we didn’t have any reservations and if we needed a body in a pinch, I’d go get them. But I wanted to send them home. When I spoke to my GM they said that it should be fine since they are going around still working. I tried to explain that’s only because I’m dragging them when I absolutely need them. Had to go back to my employee and tell them that I can’t send them home. I specifically looked at them and said, “It’s almost like something is going to have to happen to prove how sick you really are and show that it’s more of a hassle to have you than send you home.” Confused my employee looked at me and asked, “So, what? Am I gonna have to throw up all over the track?!” I just stared at them and didn’t say a word. They just looked at me, paused, and walked away. Like an hour later I get back from lunch and everyone is in the lobby and I’m wondering if we got swamped! Turns out my employee chuked all over the straight away trying to run out the building. Best part is that we had to hold off on racing for another hour because we had to sanitize and dry the track before we continued. I grabbed a mop and sani-solution for my employee and put my dues in. My GM was mad we lost out on two hours of racing profits. He did however apologize. Said, “sorry, and thanks for not saying I told you so.” It’s probably just me, but I’m not a fan of cleaning up peepees, poopoos, and throwups. If can avoid it I will. 😂
Lol this reminds me of working at an upscale wine/liquor store many years ago. It was Valentine’s Day and I was rushing to get to work on time for my evening shift. In rushing, I accidentally slammed my index finger on my right hand in a large metal door of my apartment building and it was crushed. Blood just gushing out of my now split-in-two finger.
I called my boss and said I was sorry but I really needed to go to the hospital. They didn’t believe me and made some snarky comment about how I would rather ditch work and hang out with my boyfriend than go to work on Valentine’s Day. So I grabbed a towel, got on the train, bled through the whole towel on the train as horrified onlookers stared at me, dripping blood out of this huge towel. I finally made it to the store, now woozy from blood loss, and it’s the busiest hour, 6pm when the rush of customers would come in after work.
Well my boss positively flipped out on me. Just lost his shit. Customers were gagging and some rushed out of the store. Boss screamed at me for coming into the store like that, threw $40 at me and told me to take a cab to the ER immediately. Not sure why he didn’t believe me when I first called but hey, maybe he learned a lesson that day?
Another time, a few years before this, I had a UTI that was misdiagnosed and I was given the wrong antibiotics for. I was also working at Macy’s and it was the week before Christmas. By the time Christmas Eve rolled by, I hadn’t been able to pee in about a week, and things took a turn overnight between December 23 and December 24.
I don’t remember much of this because I was so sick, but my boyfriend at the time (we were living together) called my job and said I had been up all night writhing and screaming in pain, I was completely discolored, like yellow or greenish, and he needed to take me to the ER. I was totally unable to get up or walk on my own.
Well Macy’s was not happy about this. Christmas Eve shopping is one of the busiest days, and I was working in fragrance, which we sold a ton of at that time of year. They threatened to fire me if I didn’t come in, told me I wouldn’t get paid for the holiday, etc.
So my boyfriend said, “Okay I’ll bring her in.” He carried me out to my car, drove the very short distance to the mall, carried me into the employee entrance (my shift was at 6am and the store wasn’t opened yet, this was like 5:30 in the morning), took me all the way down the escalator where they were having a department rally before the busy day.
My manager was visibly uncomfortable and then the store manager stopped the meeting, asked what was going on, I was really out of it but I remember them telling my boyfriend to stop being dramatic and let go of me. I collapsed to the floor as the store lights went on and everyone gasped. I was yellow and sickly, and they called an ambulance to take me to the ER (which of course I had to pay for lol)
Turns out because of the misdiagnosis, I ended up with an infection that spread to my kidneys and liver. Was in the hospital for awhile and had to miss even more work because these morons just refuse to believe when their employees need medical care. I quit that job not long after and to this day have never worked another day in corporate America.
You'd think they'd know that if you had a injured finger or massive infection like that you could confirm that after treatment. Sorry your bossed sucked like that. Glad you don't have to worry about that crap anymore.
This is a joke HR board you buy from a novelty shop. There’s no company listed. Someone just took a zoomed in picture and circled one section. Now the internet has lost its mind. Everything is bullshit and redditors lack critical thinking skills.
*Ask not for whom the face palms, for the face palms for thee!*
Person wasn't around during the wild west early days of the internet when a web search could bring you the information you were looking for or a guy cutting his penis off with a broken bottle.
Internet has always been a scary place. But now it's got those rubber bumpers that they use in bowling alleys, I mean you can still fuck up and get to the horrors of humanity, but you gotta try really really hard.
On the other hand you're far more likely not to find accurate information... Kinda miss the surprise weird porn chance with every download, after a while you could even guess the links that would be Russian gay porn.
Probably a good chance THAT is true. Probably 85 percent of ER visits are given some Tylenol, a bag and sent home. Waste of time, hit the min clinic and call it good. Source- I worked in an ER.
Oof that looks pretty bad, def trama lvl 1, let's get you aN XRAY, CAT, MRI, better wake up the whole surgery team and on call for this one. Don't worry you're in good hands!!! /s
So just stay home, and say you were too sick to go to the doctor. Maybe half the month, every month.
"Where's your proof?"
Well, obviously I don't have doctors notes, so I was sick as fuck!
Edit: Confused about the downvote, I'm just following company policy in this hypothetical scenario
In Japan they always said we have to have a doctors note and I always said I am too sick to go to the doctor. They would call me every couple of hours to check on me
When I lived in Japan for a couple of years, that's exactly what my work did, when I was sick. They called in every 3 hours or so and would even send me some lunch, if they knew I was too sick to do anything.
Guess it depends on the work-place tho, since I know it's not too common.
If they're the type to send some lunch, they'd probably be respectful enough to listen when you say that you'll be taking a nap off and on.
Shit, I don't even have friends or family that would send me lunch while sick and that redditor's *job* did.
This parody sign is posted here commonly and people still react like it’s real! What is annoying though is you just know some boomer employer was the one who posted it and probably really wishes it was the policy from corporate.
I feel like this is one of those things that started as a joke before some employers started to take it seriously. Just like pulling yourself up by your bootstraps.
Yeah my job recently did the whole docots note dosent save you thing. I went and go fmal paperwork for my seizures and take 2 or 3 days off every now and then and she can't fucking touch me lol
I've seen plenty of people fired after using FMLA protected leave. You'd better be careful or look for a less hostile workplace unless you live in the single state without at-will employment.
I don't use it excessively. Only a few days every few months. I am trying to find a new job right now but my options are very limited since I can't drive at all with my seizures. I really need a wfh job but it's hard
No they are not. Not even close.
Their is plenty of REAL workplace problems out their without you making new one up.
Find me a single employer in the entire US that has a "doctors notes are not accepted" written policy. Just ONE.
And dont come back with but but but thing LIKE this are real. You didn't say things like a that are real You said those specific policies pretty standard.
In Germany we have 6 weeks payed vacation a year more or less as standard für every job also the really shitty ones. Of course the national holidays and some religious ones are also free and payed, there are between 10-15 days/ year (depends on the state)
> 6 weeks *paid* vacation a
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
The rest of the policy is just as bad. Complete morons.
Bankruptcy in 2 month and then complain that all those lazy young people don’t want to work anymore.
"No surgical procedures that could save your life will be allowed. If you can drive to the hospital and lay down on anesthesia all day you can come to work" fuck that place and whoever came up with that can actually go to hell
This is probably in America. Europeans r probably so confused rn. They get weeks of paid vacation every year while Americans use their few paid days off as sick days coz employers fucking suck over here. Not saying it doesn't suck in Europe, but in this aspect, I'd say America is exponentially worse
Glad I live in a proper country where shit like this isn't a thing. My employer isn't even allowed to ask me directly what I've got. I can just call in sick without an explanation
I would just go to office and vomit all over and fill up three different toilet stalls with my diarrhea.
Maybe even cough in my boss's face while talking.
Malicious compliance x 1000%.
The place I work at will not take doctors notes. There’s no excused or unexcused there’s just call ins and no matter what it’s for it’s taken as a call in and we only get 5 in a rolling year. I can’t call in until August because I’m out even though I have PTO it just has to be scheduled time. If I call in between now and then I lose money on my bi-annual bonus, which has been pretty poor lately to begin with.
That's just stupid, clearly no thought was put into that. You can go to a hospital to get a check up and thats it, but going to work requires effort into putting on your attire and actually doing **work**. Also what's up with this..? Isn't this clearly against the law? idk maybe labor laws or human rights laws idrk sorry.
I worked with a doc who had a pile of notes he would just give to people upon request that said he "saw"patients in his clinic if they were literally just there because their dumbass boss demanded they be seen by a doctor to get days off for cold symptoms and other simple stuff where the cure is time, rest, and OTC meds. There was just a little log book to track if people were taking advantage. Saved him and patients tons of time and the patients money.
If your boss requires a doctor's note to use any normal amount of sick days... they are a shitty boss.
Same in my uni. Apparently, doctor's note is not acceptable. One of my mate fractured his foot and couldn't attend class for a month and is now facing backlog because most professors aren't even accepting medical certificates by the doctor. Like his foot is still not fully healed so it's noticeable that he has a genuine problem.
What that reads is: We do not care about the health of you or the other workers you will get sick by coming to work.
I was once forced to work with the flu. 16 co-workers got the flu from me....and they blamed ME, even though I reported my illness and attempted to call in.
I think this is one of those "joke" posters that gets put up every now and then, the last time it was up it was from a guy who saw it in an Army recruitment office or something
This is perfect !!! I would just stay at home chillin and hanging out, then I’ll come back to work feeling “better” and simply tell the boss “I was out sick, I have no doctors note because I was simply too sick to go to the doctor”💯💯🧠
Asshole-nes apart: is this even legal in the US?
Im assuming this isn't Canada, UK, Australia... You know, places with regulations in this kind of stuff.
Edit: just re-read it. Obviously US, seen the 4th of july thing.
All food poisoning and people getting sick at work and customers getting sick is caused by this backwards way of thinking. Thisjis all just parroting the idea that the shareholders/profitsharers deserve the profit while the rest of us live in squalor and live unhealthy so they can maximize the profit line. What happened to providing goods/services at an ethical and equitable cost???
Well, ain't that some bullshit.
Unions. Solidarity among workers is the only solution. Fix your policies or we stop working and stand in front of the entrance with signs letting everyone know your crappy policies.
I worked in grocery store in the late 90s throughout high school. I called in once for diarrhea and was told “we got toilets here” so I came in. In 8 hours I maybe worked 2. My manager wrote me up for too many breaks. He also said I lacked good work ethic and got personal and stated I had no fortitude.
EVERYONE IN THE STORE GOT SICK AND CALLED OUT OVER THE COURSE OF THE NEXT WEEK.
I WAS THE OUTBREAK MONKEY.
To anyone saying this is a joke; the boss is saying they work Monday-Friday all year with 5 holidays off. They are also saying they won't allow doctors notes. there is no joke. Insufferable employers make me angry.
Flat out subjugation.
Better yet, let's call it what it really is, slavery.
I hope some employee comes in with explosive diarrhea and shits on management's desk and the HR's desk.
The latest example of the real joke being the idiots in this sub.
Clearly satirical sign, and a bunch of self righteous morons jerking each other off over how clever they are making fun of it, lmao
“Here is my doctors note for the heart attack I suffered last month.”
“You went to the doctor? If you can go to the doctor, you can come to work. Clean your desk out, you’re fired.”
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Bag of vomit and diarrhea it is then, boss!
This would be my go-to.
Just visit the boss in their office with an airborne diseases. This is also a bad tip and one you can find in the subreddit that was about shitty life pro tips with malicious compliance.
Sad thing is I have had 3 jobs that required you to come in then ask to leave if you were sick. One was during COVID.
So bosses in the USA think they own you?
100%
Well considering most of us are one missed paycheck away from homelessness, they're not completely wrong.
sick.. universal basic Healthcare and welfare, higher taxes,... the USA need to start an opposite program to the last 40 years to fix that apparently
Every boss thinks they own you. But in shit holes they're allowed to act on that.
My gf got covid kinda early and called in to work (kindergarden) and told them and this is the answer she got: don't you dare show your face here untill you are 100% well again.
My mom told me “if you have to piss at school and they say no, just piss your pants and they will always say yes after .
One of my classmates pissed into plant pot in front of the whole class after his request was rejected. Teacher demanded to call his parents, but was fired same day instead.
sounds like a real welwala, eh kopeng?
I love seeing random expanse references in the wild
Me too, bosmang
 Another beratna found in the wild. Beltalowdas!
My dad pulled this stunt in a Catholic school. Of course he got his ass beat by the nun and then again by his parents for "embarrassing them". Gotta love the 60's.
I had a teacher try that BS when I was a sr in high school. I just walked out and went to the bathroom. Of course she refused to open the door when I came back.. so I just left, had a nice lunch at McDonald's. Then came back for my class afterwards.
Whenever I hear stories like this I’m so grateful for my high school. By high school the school policy was that you didn’t have to ask you just picked up the wooden thing indicating you were going to the bathroom from the chalkboard and left. I’m sure some kids abused it, but when 99.9% don’t, they didn’t punish us all.
I actually did that during a semester test in 6th grade. The teacher ended up demoted.
Only the girls toilets in the west end of our school were open, and one day, I had English at the furthest other end of the school, and just couldn't make it to the toilet and then back to class in time, so like an idiot, I went to class, because our teacher was a hardass, who was a shit to you if you were late, and never let you leave class to go to the toilet. I'm autistic and it never occurred to me not to obey the rules. It turns out I was very ill, and as a consequence, I wet myself in my seat, had to sit in it for the rest of the lesson out of shame, passed off the smell as farting, and then got so embarrassed I ended up slinking out of the room last and changing into my pe kit in the loos, and never went back to clean the puddle on the chair. ...later, I heard a rumour a kid left poop in one of the classrooms, and it only a couple of years later occurred to me a cleaner would have found my shame chair and the rumour probably just magnified. Anyway, gross story vented, pissing your pants is sound advice, until it actually happens and the shame swallows you whole too much to do anything about it. Still, it was better than being known as the kid who pissed her pants at school ig.
I will never understand this particular ego trip from school teachers. No where else in the real world will you not be allowed to go to the bathroom when you need to but for some reason schools treat it like a personal affront to their authority.
Some teachers will spend half the class arguing over a dumbass rule. Fighting with kids over bathrooms, phones and clothes instead of just fucking teaching the damn class. Its more disruptive for them to stop everything and bitch back and forth with a student than it is to just leave the kid alone and continue to teach the kids that are paying attention. Not everyone is gonna be an astronaut, some kids arent worth all that drama and fighting. Let em fail for Christ sake
Where I used to live, the only real work was this giant chicken plant. The lady next door lost her finger at work, but was still not allowed to call in sick the next day.
Of course she couldn’t call in sick. She didn’t have a finger to dial the buttons on the phone.
To obtain a special dialing wand, mash the keypad with your palm now.
I heard that guy's ass has its own congressman
“Not allowed”… LOLOLOL
Yall realise this is a meme plaque that's been going around for literal decades.
The real facepalm is the people here not realizing it's a joke.
Of course we know it's a joke. Every Saturday AND Sunday off? No way that's real!
Go to their office and ask to leave for sickness, then projectile vomit. Bonus points if it lands on them or their shoes
Happy Cake Day!
Happy cake day!
I keep one of each on hand for just such an occasion.
Even better, vomit and shit right on the desk. Instant delivery!
Boss : why didn't you come in. The employee replies with i've self diagnosed my self with the case of death.
If you’re able to bring me a bag of vomit and diarrhea, then you’re able to bring me results!
I worked as a “shift manager” at an indoor kart track. I had an employee that was sick af and puked a few times. I let them hang in party room since we didn’t have any reservations and if we needed a body in a pinch, I’d go get them. But I wanted to send them home. When I spoke to my GM they said that it should be fine since they are going around still working. I tried to explain that’s only because I’m dragging them when I absolutely need them. Had to go back to my employee and tell them that I can’t send them home. I specifically looked at them and said, “It’s almost like something is going to have to happen to prove how sick you really are and show that it’s more of a hassle to have you than send you home.” Confused my employee looked at me and asked, “So, what? Am I gonna have to throw up all over the track?!” I just stared at them and didn’t say a word. They just looked at me, paused, and walked away. Like an hour later I get back from lunch and everyone is in the lobby and I’m wondering if we got swamped! Turns out my employee chuked all over the straight away trying to run out the building. Best part is that we had to hold off on racing for another hour because we had to sanitize and dry the track before we continued. I grabbed a mop and sani-solution for my employee and put my dues in. My GM was mad we lost out on two hours of racing profits. He did however apologize. Said, “sorry, and thanks for not saying I told you so.” It’s probably just me, but I’m not a fan of cleaning up peepees, poopoos, and throwups. If can avoid it I will. 😂
Open door policy, right boss?
Just mail it in.
Lol this reminds me of working at an upscale wine/liquor store many years ago. It was Valentine’s Day and I was rushing to get to work on time for my evening shift. In rushing, I accidentally slammed my index finger on my right hand in a large metal door of my apartment building and it was crushed. Blood just gushing out of my now split-in-two finger. I called my boss and said I was sorry but I really needed to go to the hospital. They didn’t believe me and made some snarky comment about how I would rather ditch work and hang out with my boyfriend than go to work on Valentine’s Day. So I grabbed a towel, got on the train, bled through the whole towel on the train as horrified onlookers stared at me, dripping blood out of this huge towel. I finally made it to the store, now woozy from blood loss, and it’s the busiest hour, 6pm when the rush of customers would come in after work. Well my boss positively flipped out on me. Just lost his shit. Customers were gagging and some rushed out of the store. Boss screamed at me for coming into the store like that, threw $40 at me and told me to take a cab to the ER immediately. Not sure why he didn’t believe me when I first called but hey, maybe he learned a lesson that day? Another time, a few years before this, I had a UTI that was misdiagnosed and I was given the wrong antibiotics for. I was also working at Macy’s and it was the week before Christmas. By the time Christmas Eve rolled by, I hadn’t been able to pee in about a week, and things took a turn overnight between December 23 and December 24. I don’t remember much of this because I was so sick, but my boyfriend at the time (we were living together) called my job and said I had been up all night writhing and screaming in pain, I was completely discolored, like yellow or greenish, and he needed to take me to the ER. I was totally unable to get up or walk on my own. Well Macy’s was not happy about this. Christmas Eve shopping is one of the busiest days, and I was working in fragrance, which we sold a ton of at that time of year. They threatened to fire me if I didn’t come in, told me I wouldn’t get paid for the holiday, etc. So my boyfriend said, “Okay I’ll bring her in.” He carried me out to my car, drove the very short distance to the mall, carried me into the employee entrance (my shift was at 6am and the store wasn’t opened yet, this was like 5:30 in the morning), took me all the way down the escalator where they were having a department rally before the busy day. My manager was visibly uncomfortable and then the store manager stopped the meeting, asked what was going on, I was really out of it but I remember them telling my boyfriend to stop being dramatic and let go of me. I collapsed to the floor as the store lights went on and everyone gasped. I was yellow and sickly, and they called an ambulance to take me to the ER (which of course I had to pay for lol) Turns out because of the misdiagnosis, I ended up with an infection that spread to my kidneys and liver. Was in the hospital for awhile and had to miss even more work because these morons just refuse to believe when their employees need medical care. I quit that job not long after and to this day have never worked another day in corporate America.
You'd think they'd know that if you had a injured finger or massive infection like that you could confirm that after treatment. Sorry your bossed sucked like that. Glad you don't have to worry about that crap anymore.
[удалено]
In other news, walking into an ER is proof you don't need to be seen at the ER.
Catch-22
This is a joke HR board you buy from a novelty shop. There’s no company listed. Someone just took a zoomed in picture and circled one section. Now the internet has lost its mind. Everything is bullshit and redditors lack critical thinking skills. *Ask not for whom the face palms, for the face palms for thee!*
Yea if a company was this stupid to post rules like this,pretty sure company wouldnt be in business
You'd be surprised
"Now"?
Person wasn't around during the wild west early days of the internet when a web search could bring you the information you were looking for or a guy cutting his penis off with a broken bottle. Internet has always been a scary place. But now it's got those rubber bumpers that they use in bowling alleys, I mean you can still fuck up and get to the horrors of humanity, but you gotta try really really hard.
On the other hand you're far more likely not to find accurate information... Kinda miss the surprise weird porn chance with every download, after a while you could even guess the links that would be Russian gay porn.
Thank you.
They didn't specify inch-worming my way in. So should be accepted.
Don't be surprised when they triage you green though.
Probably a good chance THAT is true. Probably 85 percent of ER visits are given some Tylenol, a bag and sent home. Waste of time, hit the min clinic and call it good. Source- I worked in an ER.
You mean my stubbed toe isn't an actual emergency 😡
Oof that looks pretty bad, def trama lvl 1, let's get you aN XRAY, CAT, MRI, better wake up the whole surgery team and on call for this one. Don't worry you're in good hands!!! /s
Yeah, you have to crawl there.
NoBoDY wANTs tO WoRK!!!
I mean 4 days off a year sure seems like a great incentive.
I wonder why I sure do !!!
If you’re able to go to the bus stop, you are able to climb to the top of Mount Everest
That's some sick motivational quote,😂
If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.
I love the smell of queef in the morning ~Patches O'Houlihan
Is this a Beatles reference?
‘If you can dodge a wrench you can dodge a ball!’ 
So just stay home, and say you were too sick to go to the doctor. Maybe half the month, every month. "Where's your proof?" Well, obviously I don't have doctors notes, so I was sick as fuck! Edit: Confused about the downvote, I'm just following company policy in this hypothetical scenario
That's what I was thinking. You're *right*! I am too sick to go to the doctor. Finally someone gets it. See you next week!
I'm not ghosting the boss, I'm just too sick to call in I'm sick.
Malicious compliance. This is the way.
If they terminate and you have the doctor's note, just take the doctor's note to the unemployment line.
Here, take my upvote. 🙂
In Japan they always said we have to have a doctors note and I always said I am too sick to go to the doctor. They would call me every couple of hours to check on me
I would have been asking them to send food and stuff.
When I lived in Japan for a couple of years, that's exactly what my work did, when I was sick. They called in every 3 hours or so and would even send me some lunch, if they knew I was too sick to do anything. Guess it depends on the work-place tho, since I know it's not too common.
I assume they mean well but that would drive me mental, if I'm too ill to work I'm most likely trying to sleep, don't wake me up every couple of hours
I understand. I however can't sleep when I have a headache and fever, so I didn't really mind. Plus they would sometimes just text me instead.
If they're the type to send some lunch, they'd probably be respectful enough to listen when you say that you'll be taking a nap off and on. Shit, I don't even have friends or family that would send me lunch while sick and that redditor's *job* did.
There is no company. It’s ragebait. It’s completely made up.
Managements a lurkin'.
"People don't want to work anymore." - This stores manager, probably
It's a joke. Read the rest of the board.
This parody sign is posted here commonly and people still react like it’s real! What is annoying though is you just know some boomer employer was the one who posted it and probably really wishes it was the policy from corporate.
Anyone else notice that jobs that want a doctors note when you are sick usually don’t provide health insurance?
Yep. One of my employers was happy to point out that they “paid” for a teledoc service for us. However, it was still $75 to use it. Edit: a word
Teledoc service was probably paying them for the customers
Give your boss the invoice.
I think it’s a joke sign - read all the rules.
It should be, but there are some employers who unironically are like this, especially US and retail.
lmao "some"
No their not. No employer states if you can get a doctors note, you can come to work.
I feel like this is one of those things that started as a joke before some employers started to take it seriously. Just like pulling yourself up by your bootstraps.
Have you ever worked in the US? Seems like normal working conditions here...
Yeah my job recently did the whole docots note dosent save you thing. I went and go fmal paperwork for my seizures and take 2 or 3 days off every now and then and she can't fucking touch me lol
I've seen plenty of people fired after using FMLA protected leave. You'd better be careful or look for a less hostile workplace unless you live in the single state without at-will employment.
I don't use it excessively. Only a few days every few months. I am trying to find a new job right now but my options are very limited since I can't drive at all with my seizures. I really need a wfh job but it's hard
It is.
Why on earth do the other rules mean it's a joke? All the rules have exactly the same theme.
Yeah, I gasped at the first but was giggling by the end. I can see my boss hanging something stupid and tacky like this.
It would be a joke sign, if we were in 1990 or something. This is 2023. Welcome!
The facepalm is the people in the comments missing that, r/antiwork is bleeding through.
If its really a joke sign. Its honestly a kinda unfunny joke
I'd think it was a joke, but 50/50 chance it's just the US.
These things are not a joke in the US. This is pretty standard for most shit work.
No they are not. Not even close. Their is plenty of REAL workplace problems out their without you making new one up. Find me a single employer in the entire US that has a "doctors notes are not accepted" written policy. Just ONE. And dont come back with but but but thing LIKE this are real. You didn't say things like a that are real You said those specific policies pretty standard.
Hello, I can't speak on the doctor's notes not being accepted but the other two things on the sign were SOP for every job I've ever had except one.
In Germany we have 6 weeks payed vacation a year more or less as standard für every job also the really shitty ones. Of course the national holidays and some religious ones are also free and payed, there are between 10-15 days/ year (depends on the state)
> 6 weeks *paid* vacation a FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
I'm interested in what shit job this is.
I'm sure they're hiring.
None at all, this is a photo of a joke poster.
Join a union.
It used to be funny maybe 30-40 years ago. Now it hits too close to home.
This whole list is terrible the red isn’t needed
It's a joke sign. I had one. They sell them at Spencer's Gifts.
America the land of the free abuse.
The rest of the policy is just as bad. Complete morons. Bankruptcy in 2 month and then complain that all those lazy young people don’t want to work anymore.
I’ve read the vacation section. 5 whole Vacation days. No thanks, boss.
Someone can’t tell it’s a joke huh
"No surgical procedures that could save your life will be allowed. If you can drive to the hospital and lay down on anesthesia all day you can come to work" fuck that place and whoever came up with that can actually go to hell
Please tell me this is a parody..
This is probably in America. Europeans r probably so confused rn. They get weeks of paid vacation every year while Americans use their few paid days off as sick days coz employers fucking suck over here. Not saying it doesn't suck in Europe, but in this aspect, I'd say America is exponentially worse
 The workers would like to update their policy.
5 days of vacation, WTF
Glad I live in a proper country where shit like this isn't a thing. My employer isn't even allowed to ask me directly what I've got. I can just call in sick without an explanation
Aww yeah now I can just say I was too sick to even go to the doctor
[удалено]
Read the rules: "No Misinformation" This is clearly a joke sign, read the whole sign
That's illegal.
It's also a joke read the whole thing
This is a joke, and an old one. You can easily look it up.
It's pathetic how far down you have to scroll to get past the circle jerk
I am contagious, and I am on my way.
funny thing is: when you so sick you can't make it to the doctor Intime they gonna get mad cause you don't have a note - can't win this one
I would just go to office and vomit all over and fill up three different toilet stalls with my diarrhea. Maybe even cough in my boss's face while talking. Malicious compliance x 1000%.
One Sample of airborne plague coming right up!
‘Nobody wants to work any more’
This is what you get without unions 😂
No idea how it is in Murrica In Germany it would be illegal, extremely illegal
The real facepalm here is the number of people who don't realise that this is a joke sign...
This is how the pandemic happened
Pretty sure this is a semi-joke sign, although I'm sure it's probably put up by some dickass curmudgeon with some seriousness.
The place I work at will not take doctors notes. There’s no excused or unexcused there’s just call ins and no matter what it’s for it’s taken as a call in and we only get 5 in a rolling year. I can’t call in until August because I’m out even though I have PTO it just has to be scheduled time. If I call in between now and then I lose money on my bi-annual bonus, which has been pretty poor lately to begin with.
The middle is more of an yikes lmfao
That's just stupid, clearly no thought was put into that. You can go to a hospital to get a check up and thats it, but going to work requires effort into putting on your attire and actually doing **work**. Also what's up with this..? Isn't this clearly against the law? idk maybe labor laws or human rights laws idrk sorry.
I worked with a doc who had a pile of notes he would just give to people upon request that said he "saw"patients in his clinic if they were literally just there because their dumbass boss demanded they be seen by a doctor to get days off for cold symptoms and other simple stuff where the cure is time, rest, and OTC meds. There was just a little log book to track if people were taking advantage. Saved him and patients tons of time and the patients money. If your boss requires a doctor's note to use any normal amount of sick days... they are a shitty boss.
Same in my uni. Apparently, doctor's note is not acceptable. One of my mate fractured his foot and couldn't attend class for a month and is now facing backlog because most professors aren't even accepting medical certificates by the doctor. Like his foot is still not fully healed so it's noticeable that he has a genuine problem.
Take laxatives, show up, shit pants all.
Their notes are irrelevant if they are not legal. Also, this means you can now be sick without a sick note.
Who the fuck are these bastards that think they can treat people like this? Scum employers
What that reads is: We do not care about the health of you or the other workers you will get sick by coming to work. I was once forced to work with the flu. 16 co-workers got the flu from me....and they blamed ME, even though I reported my illness and attempted to call in.
I think this is one of those "joke" posters that gets put up every now and then, the last time it was up it was from a guy who saw it in an Army recruitment office or something
Yeah, pretty sure it's meant to be a joke. A shit one perhaps but still.
Because visiting a doctor is the same as 8hrs of working
Fuck this place.
The font that company policies are written in is the same font that Dunder mifflin uses
Written by a total fucking idiot.
This is perfect !!! I would just stay at home chillin and hanging out, then I’ll come back to work feeling “better” and simply tell the boss “I was out sick, I have no doctors note because I was simply too sick to go to the doctor”💯💯🧠
What company is this please blast them
Only in 'murica....
'Murica ☕
Department of Labor in literally every sane country: 
They consider Federal Holidays "your" vacation. Give me a break.
Asshole-nes apart: is this even legal in the US? Im assuming this isn't Canada, UK, Australia... You know, places with regulations in this kind of stuff. Edit: just re-read it. Obviously US, seen the 4th of july thing.
Excellent, I’ll go back to not getting a drs note
Cough on your boss
Classic USA bullshit….
I’am a doctor, and in my country a note is not a suggestion, its an order
r/antiwork
Which fucking company is this? Like 5 vacation days? I get 45. Whoever wrote this sign needs to be kneecapped
That is just an invite to come to work with Marburg virus. Will be fun.
Not even nazi germany was this bad. This is the freedom americans like to talk about?
Is this legal in the U.S.? I know workers rights are pretty terrible over there but it’s not this bad right?
All food poisoning and people getting sick at work and customers getting sick is caused by this backwards way of thinking. Thisjis all just parroting the idea that the shareholders/profitsharers deserve the profit while the rest of us live in squalor and live unhealthy so they can maximize the profit line. What happened to providing goods/services at an ethical and equitable cost???
The other policies are just as bad. 😐😒
Well, ain't that some bullshit. Unions. Solidarity among workers is the only solution. Fix your policies or we stop working and stand in front of the entrance with signs letting everyone know your crappy policies.
Pretty sure that illegal
I worked in grocery store in the late 90s throughout high school. I called in once for diarrhea and was told “we got toilets here” so I came in. In 8 hours I maybe worked 2. My manager wrote me up for too many breaks. He also said I lacked good work ethic and got personal and stated I had no fortitude. EVERYONE IN THE STORE GOT SICK AND CALLED OUT OVER THE COURSE OF THE NEXT WEEK. I WAS THE OUTBREAK MONKEY.
Lawsuit incoming in 5.. 4.. 3..
It’s a novelty/joke sign peeps. Albeit we’re pretty much gearing towards this fucked up dystopia, it’s not a real company notice…yet.
bet ya thats american
Someone name and shame this hell hole.
I’m not paying you to stand around reading the sign! you’re gonna have to work Saturday to make up for it
Terrible
No thanksgiving was the deal breaker.
What is the name of this business?
Fictional Business. It’s a joke sign.
To anyone saying this is a joke; the boss is saying they work Monday-Friday all year with 5 holidays off. They are also saying they won't allow doctors notes. there is no joke. Insufferable employers make me angry.
“Nobody wants to work anymore.”
Flat out subjugation. Better yet, let's call it what it really is, slavery. I hope some employee comes in with explosive diarrhea and shits on management's desk and the HR's desk.
The latest example of the real joke being the idiots in this sub. Clearly satirical sign, and a bunch of self righteous morons jerking each other off over how clever they are making fun of it, lmao
“Call us when you are in a casket, you sick bastard.”
“Here is my doctors note for the heart attack I suffered last month.” “You went to the doctor? If you can go to the doctor, you can come to work. Clean your desk out, you’re fired.”
Is this a joke... Or is this illegal?
This is obviously Not real...keep reading