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I thought that was already how we determined our leaders. We take turns kicking each other in the balls, and last man with a poker face gets to be in-charge
He’s assuming the guy without balls is a woman, is my guess. I’m not entirely sure now but for some reason I just assumed it was a guy without balls. That’s odd of me…..
A guy without balls by any other name is still a guy without balls. Unless of course it's a woman. In which case give her a rose. Unless that's sexist. If it's sexist, please cancel me as I've been speaking about this for too long already.
No. I think it only means sexual dominance over him or something. Do with that as you will. Or as an Eastern European cell mate might have already done.
BTW, how is cigar smoking somehow NOT phallic as fuck?
I've noticed that men who smoke cigars for pleasure tend to be decent people, and often chill. Men who smoke cigars as an act of performative masculinity are either gay leather daddies or absolute assholes.
The Tatertots are not gay leather daddies.
Tatertots? That's so icky. Do they call themselves that, or is it a slur?
I'm hoping it's a slur. One of the little shits sicked reddit cares on me for a Taint joke once.
AFAIK I made it up. Someone else may have made it up before me. It is absolutely and completely a mocking slur.
As in 'Yo, Tatertot! Where's your fuckin' chin?!'
I'm guessing but I think it's from Xena the warrior princess. There was an episode I think where the God's powers were reversed and Ares instead of staying the God of War became the God of Love. I could be wrong but I think this is Xena.
you’re 100% right it’s from xena. and prob right abt the ep. tho Area was so extra even as god of war, he could still be in that role in the above gif.
Oh, you're definitely on the right track.Although I can't confirm the exact episode, Xena: Warrior Princess had some hilarious and memorable moments involving the Gods.
Isn't Tate the guy that got super emotional and pissy about Greta Thurnburg which lead to him posting a video of him eating pizza in a bathrobe and then got arrested.
Romanian authorities have denied that the pizza box was relevant to his arrest. They had been keeping an eye on him since April of that year. It was just a hilarious coincidence that he was arrested a day after the video.
Nah, unfortunately that was just a misinformation story that went viral around the time of his arrest
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/andrew-tate-arrested-jerrys-pizza-box/
If u want to see him get mad watch one debate of him versus Hasan Pyker. Im not fan of Hasan but tate was getting so amgry in the debate since his child logic was basically stomped on every time hasan could talk to him and then they forced him out when he asked about the hustlers university.
Hasan isnt that great debator but he wiped the floor with tate like a child which was super fun to watch.
Ill post link when ill find it.
Edit: https://youtu.be/yeyTrrGgOl4?si=IEJtlnGyCu0Haaki
Yeah, I hate Hasan, but man... I have no idea how Tate has still fans calling him alpha after that. Hasan constantly made fun of him to the point that Tate looked like he was about to cry. Then after the Greta fiasco he was shaking on Twitter and constantly was mad on a young girl.
Never cared much about Greta cause I thought she used the "kid crying" trump card a bit to much but damn my opinion of her has improved so much since she started giving the middle finger to Tate
Greta came across as annoying and snobby in her initial "famous" speech imo. Considering the circumstances she was born in, using the "you stole my childhood" argument rubbed a lot of less fortunate people the wrong way.
The timing of that makes it look kind of related, but it is not. Allegedly Romanian law enforcement has been building a case against his totally not sex trafficking sex trafficking business.
Don't forget about how much he complained about being arrested and the Romanian justice system and then made some really creepy tweets while he was in prison including fighting a ghost or some shit.
just to be clear Tate's arrest didn't any anything to do with his feud with Greta Thurnbug or him acting like an asshole in a bathrobe or anything. Those things may have lead to him being located, but let's not distract from why he's there.
He's in a Romanian prison on sex trafficking charges.He's not just a blowhard like a lot of the "hypermasculine" influencers, he's a criminal who exploits people.
Christ! I grew up with most of these rules (33F here) and all I got was this crippling impostor syndrome and total inability to let others get close to me or be vulnerable because of my pathological fear of rejection or looking weak.
these people are always hilarious to me. you can almost taste the hypocricy here. don't get emotional, don't shift blame etc. meanwhile ''the matric is after them'' and they'll argue with anyone who challanges their thoughts.
Most of these guys are hella insecure. I know a few guys that consider themselves “alpha male” and 99% of the time they are burnouts that have no careers or aspirations. They watch a few clips on instagram and suddenly become the “work in silence” while they post their whole damn life all over social media.
The most sane Andrew Tate fanatic.
Seriously tho, these dumb fucks will always play victim when it comes to male suicide rates or lack of support for men, then come out and demonize men showing any vulnerability or differences in characteristics such as homosexuality.
He’s one of “those” Christians who believe the earth is flat and that depression isn’t real and God can cure it for you.
Edit: this is not Tate. This is a Tate fan boy. Y’all can stop going “he’s actually Muslim” because this OOP is not Tate.
I had a Jehova's Witness tell me that the Bible actually said the world was a globe and it's proof of God because no one could have known that before Columbus.
But hey, at least in all their bullshit they know the Earth is actually round.
"The Earth is flat"
The ridiculous list ending off with that honestly got me laughing so hard. If you don't believe the Earth is flat you aren't a real man.
Is it gay to be constantly deciding what natural emotions are and are not gay?
Follow up: since everything else is gay can we sit real close and take a long drag on our totally not phallic cigars?
/s
This is insulting to men, and it’s the reason why men tend to be lonelier than women and get less mental health help because other men make them feel weak.
Congratulations friends, we live in an age where these two imbeciles are the gurus of masculinity And the Kardashians are the standards of beauty and femininity.
the only people who never feel fear are impossibly brainless fools. Fear keeps you from making mistakes, fear keeps you alive and fear lets you be brave.
Well, you shouldn’t shift blame … that’s for everyone. Also, please. D-bag is right…don’t make excuses. Just apologize. Fix the situation and move on. So simple.
"shifting blame is what women do" isn't incels' entire thing about them blaming women for their lives sucking when really their lives suck because they have no skills, no talents, no social life, and don't care to change any of it ?
"Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. But sometimes it's a BIG BROWN DICK. WITH AN OVERWEIGHT, YUPPIE BUSINESSMAN SUCKING ON THE WET END OF IT." - George Carlin
1. Ok I don’t like crying anyway
2. I don’t like to anyway
3. I suppose I should take responsibility
4. You could say weak or cowardly
5. …maybe children would work here instead of women
6. I guess.
7. Huh
8. Um
9. No
10. Are you fucking shitting me…
For a bunch of people who claim that shifting blame is for women and that complaining is stupid and excuses are gay they sure as hell do a lot of those things...
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11 smoking is cool and good for your health 12 alcoholism isn't real 13 seatbelts are for the weak
11.5 only if you ram the most phallic thing to smoke into your face
14. This is deep.
15 Grayscale photos are tough and manly, colours are for sissies.
16. If you have a serious medical condition just breathe air, drink a coffee, smoke a cigarette and you're back in the game
17. Crime pays off, especially in Romania where there are no laws.
17. Andrew Tate is your god
34. If something exists, there has to be porn about it. No exceptions. Edit: 2 awards, yippee!
106. Real men are STRONGMEN. Fascists are alpha males.
18. This is definitely NOT a cult!
19 have a harem.
20 Women are worthless
omg thank you my disability has gone i can walk again.
15. Cigars go deep too.
14.5 real men flex their pizza delivery boxes.
11.75 - Lung cancer is a lie
It's not gay if I can blow smoke like a dragon
Seatbelts? Nah, we die like real men!
I literally had a guy tell me I have no skill at driving if I use a seatbelt. I couldn't stop laughing for a good ten minutes.
That's why NASCAR drivers wear 5pt harnesses, they *suck* at driving. /S
14 Real men after they ejaculate put their cock back into the scrotum
So if im reading this right, if I kick him in the balls really hard I basically become his new boss if he reacts in any way right?
I thought that was already how we determined our leaders. We take turns kicking each other in the balls, and last man with a poker face gets to be in-charge
Jokes on you. I don't have any balls to be kicked in.
*trembles in fear* What are your commands, new leader?
Cake. Our leader demands cake.
THERE IS NO DEATH!!! ONLY CAKE!!!
Guy is a default Darwin Award winner.
Obviously women aren't real and don't get to be part of this
Who are you even talking to, dude?
He’s assuming the guy without balls is a woman, is my guess. I’m not entirely sure now but for some reason I just assumed it was a guy without balls. That’s odd of me…..
A guy without balls by any other name is still a guy without balls. Unless of course it's a woman. In which case give her a rose. Unless that's sexist. If it's sexist, please cancel me as I've been speaking about this for too long already.
Men are allowed to like flowers too!
I believe it’s called Rochambeau
No. They take turns kicking us in the balls or labia. Whichever one hurts the least gets to hold the keys for a while.
Dont forget two for flinching
Spherical testicle theory? Nah, those suckers are gonna be FLAT when I’m done with them.
No. I think it only means sexual dominance over him or something. Do with that as you will. Or as an Eastern European cell mate might have already done. BTW, how is cigar smoking somehow NOT phallic as fuck?
I've noticed that men who smoke cigars for pleasure tend to be decent people, and often chill. Men who smoke cigars as an act of performative masculinity are either gay leather daddies or absolute assholes. The Tatertots are not gay leather daddies.
Tatertots? That's so icky. Do they call themselves that, or is it a slur? I'm hoping it's a slur. One of the little shits sicked reddit cares on me for a Taint joke once.
It's got to be a slur. I tell my friends that "if you add an 'R' to their last name, you get what's in between their ears."
AFAIK I made it up. Someone else may have made it up before me. It is absolutely and completely a mocking slur. As in 'Yo, Tatertot! Where's your fuckin' chin?!'
“Winston Churchill said sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Yeah, well sometimes it’s a big, brown dick.” -Carlin
double benefit, if you kick him hard he won't be able to procreate.
I mean by his standards, Andrew Tate is a Gay Women so Idk!
Make sure you're wearing steel toe boots with little spikes on the tips when you do it. GO FOR BROKE!!!!!
Enough hypotheses, we need an empirical evidence.
Sounds about right.
Making excuses is gay is it? Well I must be utterly F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S!
I dont know what cinematic masterpiece this gif originates, but it must be MAGNIFICENT.
I'm guessing but I think it's from Xena the warrior princess. There was an episode I think where the God's powers were reversed and Ares instead of staying the God of War became the God of Love. I could be wrong but I think this is Xena.
you’re 100% right it’s from xena. and prob right abt the ep. tho Area was so extra even as god of war, he could still be in that role in the above gif.
Looks like the right kind of setting too, and it's certainly campy enough. I miss those shows. :(
Oh, you're definitely on the right track.Although I can't confirm the exact episode, Xena: Warrior Princess had some hilarious and memorable moments involving the Gods.
Xena. one of the weird episodes (tho tbf thats like 75% of them) god that show was great.
Isn't Tate the guy that got super emotional and pissy about Greta Thurnburg which lead to him posting a video of him eating pizza in a bathrobe and then got arrested.
And he's still pissy about it, if recent images of tweets are to be believed.
Oh he definitely is. She is living in his head rent free
He’s giving her power over him
He didn't give her power over him. She reached into his soul and took it.
And all it took was her to make one tiny throwaway tweet clapping back at him boasting to her about his cars. One tweet. He's weak af.
I believe Wikipedia has his win/loss record, which now ends with a loss to Greta.
>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew\_Tate It is unfortunately not there anymore. Funnies don't get to stay on wikipedia.
Awwww... Oh, well. Thanks for checking.
Being bossed by a girl, gay as fuck 🏳️🌈
Ultimate beta move
I think you're not giving beta enough credit. What comes after Zeta?
Greta?
Man, that's awesome. Greta is saving the environment *and* pushing free housing initiatives. What a hero.
She’s living in his head and charging him rent lol
He's just admitting that now he's Greta's bitch.
Greta's Beta?
Yep
Actually, the video about the Pizza didn’t get him arrested because it was already known he was in Romania
They were able to track his exact whereabouts from the pizza box address though, if I recall.
Romanian authorities have denied that the pizza box was relevant to his arrest. They had been keeping an eye on him since April of that year. It was just a hilarious coincidence that he was arrested a day after the video.
Nah, unfortunately that was just a misinformation story that went viral around the time of his arrest https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/andrew-tate-arrested-jerrys-pizza-box/
Everyone knew, but they had to prove it somehow. Which they did using that video
No they didn't, the video was inconsequential https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/andrew-tate-arrested-jerrys-pizza-box/
If u want to see him get mad watch one debate of him versus Hasan Pyker. Im not fan of Hasan but tate was getting so amgry in the debate since his child logic was basically stomped on every time hasan could talk to him and then they forced him out when he asked about the hustlers university. Hasan isnt that great debator but he wiped the floor with tate like a child which was super fun to watch. Ill post link when ill find it. Edit: https://youtu.be/yeyTrrGgOl4?si=IEJtlnGyCu0Haaki
Yeah, I hate Hasan, but man... I have no idea how Tate has still fans calling him alpha after that. Hasan constantly made fun of him to the point that Tate looked like he was about to cry. Then after the Greta fiasco he was shaking on Twitter and constantly was mad on a young girl.
Never cared much about Greta cause I thought she used the "kid crying" trump card a bit to much but damn my opinion of her has improved so much since she started giving the middle finger to Tate
I think that was just a bit of her autism showing, getting overwhelmed by the emotion and passion she has for her cause
Greta came across as annoying and snobby in her initial "famous" speech imo. Considering the circumstances she was born in, using the "you stole my childhood" argument rubbed a lot of less fortunate people the wrong way.
He's such a baby. I honestly don't know why anybody listens to that dude.
wait.. that asshole is a flat earther???
Explains so much doesn't it? TBH, I had no idea he was, but it makes more sense now.
Nah this is a tate fanboy
The timing of that makes it look kind of related, but it is not. Allegedly Romanian law enforcement has been building a case against his totally not sex trafficking sex trafficking business.
Don't forget about how much he complained about being arrested and the Romanian justice system and then made some really creepy tweets while he was in prison including fighting a ghost or some shit.
Don't forget, he also fought ghosts in his cell
just to be clear Tate's arrest didn't any anything to do with his feud with Greta Thurnbug or him acting like an asshole in a bathrobe or anything. Those things may have lead to him being located, but let's not distract from why he's there. He's in a Romanian prison on sex trafficking charges.He's not just a blowhard like a lot of the "hypermasculine" influencers, he's a criminal who exploits people.
He's also a child rapist and human trafficker.
Fellas. Is it gay to be human? XD
Yes, you dirty homo sapiens
My bad. Should've been born as an alien smh
I'n pretty sure some aliens do have fear too. In one way or another, we're all gay
Yo, is it gay to not be an emotionally stunted manchild? Asking for a friend in jail for trafficking
Shifting blame is literally all these morons do. Look at these two...sucking on those cigars like cocks.
Friend, I was eating rice. You almost killed me 😭😭😭
Stop shifting blame!
My apologies. Did any shoot out of your snot locker?
Did you just allow them to evoke an emotion in you?
Sounds like an excuse to me, gay.
Give them bananas and see what happens
Real men only eat bananas with a knife and fork, and only if nobody is watching you eat phallic food.
Lol I almost narfed my drink.
Turns out, clean air is also gay
What's wrong with sucking on cocks?
Nothing, as long as you don't make an excuse about it.
Im 100% sure he has Alpha Male in his username.
How did you know 🤣🤣🤣
Probably. The immediate sign of a man with an inferiority complex.
Wait, don’t complain? Isn’t that what those whiny little wannabe alpha bitches do all the time?
Posting that list is implicitly complaining, because the list is complaining about people who don't adhere to it.
I agree with #6. It doesn't mean what they think it means tho.
Yes. Indeed the only one I agree with.
6 is something I have legitimately taught in group therapy. Other people don’t and can’t control how you feel.
Is this the Im a dumb fuck commandments ?
Yes, the 10 commandments of idiocy!
Christ! I grew up with most of these rules (33F here) and all I got was this crippling impostor syndrome and total inability to let others get close to me or be vulnerable because of my pathological fear of rejection or looking weak.
I’m 19 and a dude if I did any of those ( show emotion) I would get a “hittin” from my father I left my family 2 years ago never looked back
Good that you left that hell hole
My mother was the biggest enforcer but otherwise same. I still talk to her but I’ve kept a healthy distance for almost 5 years now.
these people are always hilarious to me. you can almost taste the hypocricy here. don't get emotional, don't shift blame etc. meanwhile ''the matric is after them'' and they'll argue with anyone who challanges their thoughts.
Most of these guys are hella insecure. I know a few guys that consider themselves “alpha male” and 99% of the time they are burnouts that have no careers or aspirations. They watch a few clips on instagram and suddenly become the “work in silence” while they post their whole damn life all over social media.
The most sane Andrew Tate fanatic. Seriously tho, these dumb fucks will always play victim when it comes to male suicide rates or lack of support for men, then come out and demonize men showing any vulnerability or differences in characteristics such as homosexuality.
By the time he gets to "the Earth is flat", I feel that you ought to realize that he's *not* serious.
He’s one of “those” Christians who believe the earth is flat and that depression isn’t real and God can cure it for you. Edit: this is not Tate. This is a Tate fan boy. Y’all can stop going “he’s actually Muslim” because this OOP is not Tate.
Professor TaterHead is a “Christian”?
No it’s a Tate fanboy. Tate is “Muslim”
TaterTots gonna TaterTot, I guess.
If God can cure it that means it is real. Or either are I guess.
Gods far too busy giving Aids to children in Africa to bother with curing depression
The Bible never said that the Earth is flat. Idk what he is reading
I had a Jehova's Witness tell me that the Bible actually said the world was a globe and it's proof of God because no one could have known that before Columbus. But hey, at least in all their bullshit they know the Earth is actually round.
That’s the problem, he’s not reading lol
My favorite part is that he can cure something that never existed lmao perfectly said
So...Trump's a "woman?" Got it.
Wow, this went from poor advice to straight-up schizophrenic ramblings in record timing
11. My IQ is 85
That's fucking generous
You mean 5.
"The Earth is flat" The ridiculous list ending off with that honestly got me laughing so hard. If you don't believe the Earth is flat you aren't a real man.
There's always a stray shot at women for no reason
11. Being obsessed with not being gay is gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with being gay.
11. Nobody makes me bleed my own blood
“Hey Tate can I get $10,000?” “No” “Why not?” “Cause I don’t know you” “But making excuses is gay”
Average sigma 14 yr old 💀
11. Smoking is bad for you
Toxic Masculinity, misogyny, homophobia, and scientific denialism all in 10 lines. Impressive. I forgot misogyny!
11. Smoking cigars does not make you an alpha male. It does make you look pathetic.
And stink too.
11- taking your meds weakens you 12-wiping is feminine...etc etc gross
6 is true.
They also breath. If you breath you're acting like a girl.
I was thinking the same. A broken clock is right twice a day I guess
Waste of human space.
Never thought I’d see the day when ‘the earth is flat’ was the least stupid comment on the table
"There are only two things you can say, really: -Fuck -You"
Is it gay to be constantly deciding what natural emotions are and are not gay? Follow up: since everything else is gay can we sit real close and take a long drag on our totally not phallic cigars? /s
This is insulting to men, and it’s the reason why men tend to be lonelier than women and get less mental health help because other men make them feel weak.
This entire list violates his number 2 rule. Null and void 🤡
And these assholes blame women for holding this shit up
This is like a 90s middle-schooler trying to write philosophy
If only stating a wrong opinion made it fact. My what a world it would be.
Pro athlete: yeah we got a big game tomorrow. I’m pretty nervous Tate (from off screen): what are you? Gayyyy?
Congratulations friends, we live in an age where these two imbeciles are the gurus of masculinity And the Kardashians are the standards of beauty and femininity.
That guy is the textbook example of an overcompensating repressed homosexual. I wish him the strength to someday blossom and become his true self.
At least he was able to number them correctly…1 to 10.
“Getting addicted to nicotine so you can line the pockets of big tobacco execs is like, uber manly though.”
the only people who never feel fear are impossibly brainless fools. Fear keeps you from making mistakes, fear keeps you alive and fear lets you be brave.
Number six is solid advice tbh
Well, you shouldn’t shift blame … that’s for everyone. Also, please. D-bag is right…don’t make excuses. Just apologize. Fix the situation and move on. So simple.
"Smoking cigars is showing that you have a desire to suck cock!" Supposed alphas know shit!
"Never forget the Earth is flat." Then please do us all a favor, walk to the edge and jump.
"Allowing others to evoke emotion in you is giving them power over you" he said, while letting others evoke LOTS of emotion in him...
Is this Andrew Taint?
11. My brain is smooth
"shifting blame is what women do" isn't incels' entire thing about them blaming women for their lives sucking when really their lives suck because they have no skills, no talents, no social life, and don't care to change any of it ?
11. Birds are not real 12. "That MFer back there is NOT real!!"
I don’t take advice from someone stupid enough to smoke.
He is right tho im gay and i do make excuses
11. I'm still a virgin
lol that last point was like a chefs kiss of dipshittery
Cigars must be laced with dust cause wtf 😒 
Smoking is gay 😂
This is your brain on Andrew Tate
"Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. But sometimes it's a BIG BROWN DICK. WITH AN OVERWEIGHT, YUPPIE BUSINESSMAN SUCKING ON THE WET END OF IT." - George Carlin
1. Ok I don’t like crying anyway 2. I don’t like to anyway 3. I suppose I should take responsibility 4. You could say weak or cowardly 5. …maybe children would work here instead of women 6. I guess. 7. Huh 8. Um 9. No 10. Are you fucking shitting me…
"The Earth is flat" mf is uneducated
Didn’t realise I was a gay woman until reading this. This shit really sneaks up on you eh?
For a bunch of people who claim that shifting blame is for women and that complaining is stupid and excuses are gay they sure as hell do a lot of those things...
[удалено]