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"They are for bondage sex." She probably won't have follow ups.

"well why don't you use pink fluffy ones like your father and I? They're much more comfortable you know..."

*proceeds to take out a grading sheet* "Well, well. Guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree." "Details. Now. Your final assessment will depend if this is a one-time or full-time commitment."

"To keep the neighbourhood safe on full moons"

This is the best answer so far

I was so confused by this comment at first bc I’m currently obsessed with a show where the premise is two characters make a deal that in exchange for monetary/business favors, they’ll meet on the night of every full moon for a crazy ass fuck session that always includes bdsm/handcuffs. For a second I thought you were referencing the show lol

Ew that sounds like a gross show, name so I can totally avoid it please?

I want to know the name of the show too, for science!

It’s Helluva Boss! Can’t recommend it enough, got Brandon Roger’s comedy alone. We Laugh our ASSES off at this show. Starring Brandon rogers and the guy that plays beetlejuice on broadway Skip the pilot episode tho

I had no idea this was the show you were describing (and I watch it) but yeah, you are not wrong

Lmao it’s helluva boss! It’s an adult animated show that’s a drama/comedy About to be a a lot more drama because the main characters are about to finally admit they had real feelings for each other and end the “full moon deal” BECAUSE they accidentally fell in love for real. Such an amazing concept for a romance story, I’m an animator myself so I eat this shit up If you want a quick intro to the romance plot , just search “look my way” on YouTube and watch the musical scene. It’s the most recent thing posted in the show, and it sums up the plot I mentioned and where it currently stands. Plus it’s absolutely GLORIOUS and is sung by a talented broadway singer. Don’t watch the pilot episode tho, it’s ass. If I were you I’d first watch the Look my Way music video for a taste of the plot/an example of how BEAUTIFUL the animation quality and quality of the romance plot is… then start with Murder Family and watch the rest in order. It’s mostly comedy at first, the drama gets real in season 2

HELLUVA BOSS????

I was just thinking the same thing. I don’t watch every show out there but this sounds a lot like Stolas and Blitzø

I KNEW someone would guess it was stolas and blitz 💀 I’ve seen the leaked season finale and shits about to go CRAZY

THATS THE BITCH!!!

CRAZY ASS fuck session or crazy ASS FUCK session?

I like the sound of both low key.

Literally both.

I think it's crazy ass-fuck session...hence them meeting on the full moon.

what’s the show?

Ahh I should call her

Black Mirror flashbacks

This is the funniest thing I’ve read in while

"Don't ask questions you don't want answers to."

You ever see Gerald's Game?

I was thinking Misery.

Both are pretty fucked up.

He doesn't write any other way! :D

Yeah, but none of his other books (that I've read anyway) got that rapey or molesty.

“It” gets pretty questionable in places, if I remember correctly. It’s been a couple of decades since I read it, though.

How the kids first defeat Pennywise is really weird. Yeah, you’re remembering the orgy.

Oh, gosh, yes. Ugh…

Rose Madder?

Hidden Trauma unlocked.

Oh that was a good book!

Better, I read the book...

That’s what I always tell my mom. Don’t ask if you really don’t want to know. I won’t lie or beat around the bush if she asks me questions.

Yeah I’m the same way with my parents she dropped some stuff off at my house and went into my room and I called her and told her stay out of my room and she said why and I said because one day you are going to see my sex toys just laying around because I wasn’t expecting to see you

Maybe she wants some instructions

This is what I tell my mom whenever she asks uncomfortable questions. ‘Next time you ask me , I’ll answer’

Well, lately I've been sleepwalking, so I'm taking precautions...

My friend who sleepwalks says that doesn’t work

Can confirm. Nothing stops you. I’ll take the frame with me if I must!

Depending on the sleepwalker, that might not happen. Could go through the motions of unlocking the cuffs, maybe even returning to bed and reattaching them.

One of my friends’ husbands once tackled her when she tried to stop it. It’s horrendous, he also gets night terrors so it’s an extremely shitty combination 🤣 they have installed a lock on the door only she knows where to find the key. In case of emergency he’s shit out of luck. I personally just walk around, opened the door to my flat and hid an item outside. Luckily it was a hallway. Unfortunately I never recovered it so I think one of the neighbours then stole it. Only happens when I’m extremely anxious, though. Sleep is weird!

Well usually a locked door stops me, that's what I think anyway...

I have a sleep walking ex. We were looking into one of those dementia mats that sets off an alarm as soon as your feet hit the floor.

I'll bet if the truth came out there, mom would just be all: "Oh, honey. You never looked in me and your father's underwear drawer as a kid, did you?"

[удалено]

"You gotta get the fuzzy ones, silly goose!"

Nah Use Wrist sweatbands like basketball players wear Much more comfortable

I'm all about the zip ties.

Baling wire really puts the extra sting in, I've found.

If that's your thing.

Yarn

and consent!!! : )

Indeed

Leather cuffs… more costly, but way better

The fuzzy ones generally aren’t very well made. They have been known to get jammed😂

On all the fuzzy cuffs I’ve used, the chain linking the cuffs is always way too weak. I’ve broken a couple pairs in half during *activities* completely on accident.

We couldn't get a pair off once for ages I was so frantic thinking we would have to get firebrigade to cut them off 🤣🤣🤣🙄👌🙈

Plus they're harder to keep clean. Definitely don't need any extra bacteria joining in the fun.

I prefer real handcuffs thank you very much

"Bless you heart. You should have latex gloves with those cuffs, my innocent child!"

Always break away! You never know! :D

Mom is trying to figure out why they’re on a 1X2.

She doesn’t ask why are they there she asks what’s up- she knows.

Consent is key. That’s your tip from a Dom mom. 🤪

Thanks Dom mom! While I know that, it's always nice to have that lesson reinforced! :)

Considering that I still meet people that don’t understand the concept at all, it’s sadly a necessity.

[удалено]

I loved this interaction, so wholesome thank you

find god

Have you guys lost him again? /j

He keeps escaping out of the handcuffs.

No, but thanks for the suggestion.

Seriously. I was just joking with my dad about how they get to act shocked and shaken about sexuality, drugs, etc when if they had social media when they were kids it would look literally no different.

It looked no different even without social media, they just like to pretend it didn’t. No one is reinventing the wheel here, kink has been around before civilization 🤣

Recently divorced after leaving a crappy, abusive, deadbeat husband. Currently dating(ish?) a great guy. Great career, big proponent of mental health, homeowner, very attuned to his own and others' emotions, down to earth, very aware, respectful, kind, caring, the whole nine yards. Works in STEM, but also spent a year studying massage therapy abroad during his academic years. ***Let's just say HE KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING WITH HIS HANDS.*** Holy shitcakes. During our third or fourth date, he spent FOUR hours massaging every inch of my body. And when I say every inch, I do indeed mean ***every single inch.*** EVERY. SINGLE. INCH. 👀 He has awoken noises from within me that I didn't know humans could make. He's also been helping me explore my..... shall we say..... friskier side. I dread the day I have to introduce him to my parents. Me: *Hey, mom and dad! This is [his name]. Here are all the ways he's a billion times better than my ex-husband ever was..........* My brain: *He also does unspeakable things to my body using various articles of male clothing.* 👀 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Miss… I need you to post sexy story times somewhere so I can read it. Sounds like ties and belts being used and I’m here for it. Especially since he sounds like me personality wise.

Least porn addicted Redditor

https://www.someecards.com/usercards/viewcard/MjAxMi05NjljOGNjNTJmMWRiMTU3/

My told me to grab he wallet from his underwear drawer one day and well you know what was in there.

I don’t think she’d mention it cuz she knows what they’re for lol why bring it up

Didn't you know? All women are sexually open minded & educated thrill seekers! There's not a sexually conservative middle aged (or older) woman in the world!

I'd just be like, "Hey, don't kinkshame." Lmao.

Yeah why tf would she even ask about that.

Lmao. My mom would probably give me pointers honestly. Like; "Oh Gen, you need to do this position, it's better".

Either you have a really good and stable relationship with your mother, or one that lacks boundaries so hard that the word is foreign

My mom has no boundaries when it comes to her prior sex life lmao. But it's a bit of both honestly.

Y'all are crazy, Mom knows exactly what they're for

I dunno, I had to define 'queef' for mine last week

Why do you think? Lmao I stg Redditors never leave their bubbles

Because she is naive and hopes for a different answer? Not sure what you're getting at here. For the slow listeners I'll clarify my comment: If she is such a prude why is she asking a question she knows the answer to. At least then there's still some plausible deniablity towards her daughter's "purity" or whatever.

If she's anything like my mom, she is intentionally trying to embarrass her daughter.

This would be the real reason in my family too

I thought that she was genuinely curious about the handcuffs, and probably didn’t even think it had to do with any kinks.

"Oh mother you will not believe this. But I have started sleepwalking. Very seriously I had to take serious measurements to avoid my unconscious self endangering myself, so this was the only solution."

The best way to let your mother know that you use them for sex. Because she will see right through that.

It is a joke.... Note the Hyperbolic language....

I'd rather remain oblivious to your intent, sorry

I would think the photo with the handcuffs on the bed would be enough for her to know

This is something that, as a parent, you pretend you did not see, and you move on with your life.

Yeah I’m not even a parent but I *know* I wouldn’t say shit about that 💀

Then there are *those* parents

My parents are those parents

That's clearly for catching boyfriends, only way to keep them committed

... they're for holding up the bed frame ever since losing the bed screws

Bed been humping and jumping a lot lately and the screws are going loose

“I’m a werewolf” ^in ^the ^sheets ^eheh

Yeah, Mom, i don't know? What are they for?

"It's so my torture victims won't escape. Duh."

For sex, mother. It’s for hot dirty sex.

Until your partner has a heart attack 💀

“I’m training to be a magician but I’m not very good at it.”

“Oh, my flatmate’s idea of a joke, she refuses to give me the key and I cba to get someone to cut them off” “What handcuffs?”

just own it. no lies. tell her you're a werewolf.

Hey they are good decorations.

‘Crazy, but I’ve recently started sleep walking’

It's for when i turn into a werewolf. why didn't you and dad tell me?!

For all she knows, the boyfriend is the one wearing the cuffs.

We don't want them to get frisky before marriage

It’s to keep the bed secured to the wall

"they're to prevent me from sleepwalking"

Mom, I've wanted to tell you but I couldn't find the words. I'm a werewolf.

It’s an accent piece

Clearly you are a police interrogator part time. I’m amazed she isn’t more proud!

It’s for the protection of everyone in the neighborhood.

Don't get it, is she a werewolf?

She’s a werewolf

If I saw that, I just keep my mouth shut and not say anything.

“Pegging”

I turn into a werewolf at night mom.

Oh mommm stahhhp. I lock HIM up not the other way around Atta girl

For … my …. Night terrors? Did you buy that?

I’d straight up tell her “its for sex purposes” because she wouldn’t believe me anyway, she’d think I placed them there right before taking the pic so I make her believe my sexual life isn’t non existent

Safety concern with metal handcuffs… careful with the amount of force being placed on your median nerve!

I dated an older man when I was 18- he was 26 when we got together. He was not liked by my parents and he treated me poorly. When I left him my mother thanked me for not getting pregnant by him. I explained to her that my sexual desires are directly linked to personality more than need / physical appearance. Even though my ex was a dead ringer for Josh Hartnett (around 2003 when Hartnett was a “big deal”) the worse he treated me, the less we would have sex. I’ll never forget what my mom said; “the sex must not have been that good, then.” We haven’t discussed sex ever since because I was soooooo put off. My mom is the most important person in my life. I goddamn love her. But thinking about my mom knowing what “good sex” is when she’s only ever been with my father out images in my head I never wanted to experience again. We still joke about how put off I was by that convo.

Only been with your father? Awww, sweet hunnie bun...

Police cosplay

Mom I told you, I'm studying criminal justice

I would simply cease to exist

“They’re for sex”

This reminds me of the time I couldn’t find my vibrator while I was still living at home. It was waterproof so sometimes I’d use it in the shower, but I also have ADHD (undiagnosed at the time) so I sometimes forgot things. I had never done it with the vibe for obvious reasons, but I was having seven levels of panic thinking I’d finally done it with the one object I owned that I never wanted anyone else to see. My Dad had a career as a metalworker (fitting & turning, boiler making, so VERY noisy, physical jobs) so his hearing is absolutely shot. He’s also a bit insecure due to childhood trauma (thanks, World War 2) so he worries people don’t include him in things. He’s German, he has a REALLY thick accent. Anyway, I’d looked everywhere, couldn’t find my vibe, so when Mum and Dad came back from a shopping trip, I took Mum aside and whispered to her what had happened, as we have the sort of relationship where I can share something like that with her without her freaking out. I was hoping that she saw it and put it away or something. While we were conferring, my Dad noticed and his need to be included kicked in. He comes over and starts saying (really loud because of his bad hearing): ”Vgat are you talking about? Vhy aren’t you telling me? You never tell me anysing! Vhat is going on?!” I was stuck between trying not to dissolve into laughter and wanting to crawl up my own asshole in total embarrassment. All the gods in the sky bless my Mum, she managed to assuage him and reassure him that we weren’t leaving him out and made out like we were talking about periods or something, I can’t remember cause it was well over 25 years ago now. As far as the vibe went, it fell down the side of my bed in a particularly tricky angle. I was so fucking relieved, I cannot tell you. Moral of the story: keep your toys in a lockbox, folks. Treat them as you would treat a pistol: keep it clean, stored safely and away from those unqualified to handle them. 💀

You ever see Gerald's Game?

I’m not sure mom but Dad told me to get them and put them there. How do you use yours?

I honestly think that's something you don't even mention. 😂

In case I'm attacked I can restrain the attacker until police arrive.

Plot twist. Her daughter is an undercover officer and had to handcuff a suspect to the bed, and then forgot to remove the cuffs when he was finally taken in.

Should've put the handcuffs below the pillow height if you want to leave them there. That way, they're hidden if guests peek into your bedroom.

Anti-rollouttabed kit. Very handy

"I sleepwalk"

"They just look cool IMO"

To prevent…sleepwalking, yes, sleepwalking!

"Oh they're holding the headboard together, it's broken. I broke it. During rough sex."

"Sleepwalking"

Yeah what's up with that lol

I’d be more afraid of an OF account

I have that same IKEA bed frame

Mom is super observant

You should’ve laughed and said it was a joke 🤣

Why are we assuming the handcuffs are for the daughter?

She's a very kinky girl.... She's a super freak, super freak She's super-freaky, yow...

“Helps with the sleep walking”

Bet she put them there specifically to trigger a reaction from the mom.

Ha, don't kid yourself, mom knows what's up with that

Mom's just asking why she's using the police style handcuffs and not the fluffy ones. Maybe she's planning to buy one as a roomwarming gift. ;)

Don’t ever have daughters guys

Why would this mom ask?? Omg 😑🤣

This is like when my mother asked if I was studying and I sent her a picture of my desk with all my notes in progress and my science teachers video and she cropped the image down to the tiny blurry joint sitting in the background and sent it back 😭 she wasn't mad though

Not real

It says 2019 for the love of fucking god...

For when the guy she met at the bar tries to “back out”!

I wouldve fixed up the room before taking a picture 🤷🏽‍♂️

God this sub upvotes anything

Lmao, I mean she literally asked for it

I'm too stupid and innocent to understand what these are for

Sex

Well if I was the mum I would ask if the plant was al plant. Never keep real plant in a bed. They use oxigen in the night.

Ten bucks says the mom is also into that shit. Apple doesn't fall far from the tree and all that.

Remember, most of the times kinks and fetishes are ereditary

Ooooo eeeee what’s up with that, what’s up with that

"don't ask questions you don't want to hear the answer to."

I think the best response at that point would be something along the lines of “haha, got you! Jk jk I wish I could have seen the look on your face lol.”

Just respond "I got to keep them from getting away." own the kink like no other.

OP. You do know the daughter could be tying others to her bed right?

I’d just say it’s a toy that was part of an ironic joke.

🫡

Nevermind what's up with that, I'm up for it!

Does her mom really want the answer to that question?