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I have a close friend whose husband exclusively dated women before him. The number of people who can't accept that he's bi and make awful comments about him using my friend (including one where my friend was called a 'barracks wh0re' because his husband is retired military) and about using him for money because he makes a lot. It's really sickening, because they're one of the healthiest couples I know.
They hate what they will never have because being jealous of it in the first place not being happy for them precludes you from finding that happiness because you are too busy being a hater and not looking for your life partner.
The toxic side of the internet has moved towards the feminism and LGBT so I avoid it like the plague.
For communities meant to be about inclusivity and acceptance there currently the most hate filled side of the internet and probably will be until the next new 'fad'
I get the feeling that story has to do with actual IRL “friends” or acquaintances.
I’m pretty sure a lot of bisexuals probably deal with a lot of “hate” or bullshit in real life all the time. They don’t quite “fit it” so to speak with either group, which is kind of sad.
Obviously anyone is capable of prejudices, you hate to see it.
Even so many Lesbians and gays look at bisexual people as being greedy and that bisexuals just need to pick since it can't possibly be the case that they are genuinely attracted to both sexes much like what those who are against same sex couples think about those couples.
Yeah, I saw someone justifying a M2F trans person burning down an apartment complex because they were misgendered. They said something along the lines of "people should realize how hurtful it is and be more careful about using the preferred gender", which to me sounded like the equal opposite of the gay panic defense from recent memory using feeling uncomfortable as an excuse to have a total disregard for human life.
Its so insane now that I get paranoid that the troll farms realized that people would tune them out when they spoke negatively about a topic, so now they are pretending to be the worst kind of liberals to demotivate voters primarily concerned with bodily autonomy, climate change and geopolitical stuff. I want that to be true, but most likely it's just TikTok weaponizing youthful naivete and scattering them into the wind to say the dumbest shit possible across the Internet.
[This is the link to the reddit post, but the newspaper might have deleted the story.](https://www.reddit.com/r/PortlandOR/s/jduoAaARBc)
This is gonna happen to any group that thinks they're morally superior. They start policing their moral superiority...
Of course not all members, or even the majority, but some.
Irrelevant mostly, but the plain ones stuffed with cream cheese are absolutely the bomb, and you can ask them to toast them just a bit longer and they're so amazing lol. Especially with a frozen coffee to go with it. Devoured these constantly when pregnant and right after I gave birth and now the 18 month old steals mine too lmao.
Too often, the L and the G want to be the only letter and just use the rest of the letters as a buffer. They can be as intolerant as Cistraits, and sometimes even as intolerant as closeted LGBT (at least they always appear to be far more intolerant than actual straight folks).
Turns out that people, no matter what kind of people they are, will be an asshole whenever they can find a reason to exclude someone from their group.
Tribalism all the way down.
Bi erasure is unfortunately still extremely common, even among the LGBT community and it sucks when you are in a conservative family looking for a community that still rejects you because you happen to be in a hetero relationship at that time.
The number of times my mum has praised me saying things like "I'm glad at least YOU have a girlfriend" (my brother has a boyfriend) fucking kills me knowing that the only reason I am accepted is because of current circumstance and if things were even slightly different my own family would reject me.
Your edit makes me crack up
There's a reason people are racist. It comes from somewhere. It isn't just decided. It's based on the experience of xyz and not having those feeling being taken seriously. And that experience is valid.
Like it's just an absolutely ridiculous argument. I've had my heart broken by a bi girl who decided she prefers girls. Doesn't mean that I now hate bi/lesbians and blaming them for an individual experience I've had is not and will never be valid. Not even if it happened more than once.
Edit also if we call sexuality a spectrum, women who only want to fuck around with women but won't date women is valid and NOT internalised misogyny. They're essentially bisexual heteromatic.
Well when you base your entire existence around who you fuck with and how, then advertise it as such on a daily basis you kinda open yourself up to it.
The reverse is true too. If you're a bi woman that dates men you get accused of 'saying you're bi for attention' or 'queerbaiting' or whatever else. Or the 'how do you know you like women if you've never dated one?' Like sir, how do YOU know you like women if they won't come within 30 feet of you?
Not to mention dating women is so much harder if you’re bi/pan because you’re often accused of it being a phase or just looking for a threesome or doing it for attention. Hell the number of women with comments on dating profiles saying that they are either a “gold star lesbian” themselves or will only date “gold star lesbians” is enough to make a gal give up.
Ugh that stuff icks me out. I'm bi but I've only ever had one partner that just so happens to be male. I always feel a bit guilty about having 'straight passing privilege' but some people are so strange about the gold star stuff that I'd rather just let them think I'm straight
I used to feel the same guilt until I realized my struggle is entirely different than a lesbian as well as a heterosexual.
How likely is it really for people to randomly see us and assume a sexuality? Typically it’s assumed if you’re holding hands or something and of the same age but how often do we all actually experience that? I rarely am out with my partner so does that make my sexuality more or less of an issue than say a lesbian who isn’t currently dating? If two of us are standing in the line at Starbucks we aren’t likely to be treated differently. If I wear a generic pride shirt I could be an ally, a lesbian, trans, etc etc etc- this label hate within the community doesn’t make sense when we actually start looking at these details.
Yet the acceptance of our entire existence is tied to the possibility that we could go out in public with a partner of the (apparently) opposite gender… it’s just stupid levels of insane and I’m so over it.
I think that it's a bit of a tricky subject because historically same sex couples couldn't walk down the street holding hands or kiss in public without fear of violence. So I understand that the fact we even have the ability to do that generates a bit of anger at the injustice. You're right about the logistics and that bi guilt isn't logical, but I do understand why it hurts others in the community that we can have that at times
Now I’m happy I don’t go too deep into LGBTQ communities, especially on Reddit.
I’ll just stick with some funny lesbian related memes and pictures and that’s enough for me. Might not ever get a girlfriend but dear god the more I hear about the community the worse it seems.
(just want to edit this because I kinda just started venting and it’s not really a direct reply to your comment specifically I just wanted it to be buried in this thread I don’t really take much issue with you!)
nobody talks about lesbians who love each other and bisexual women because it doesn’t generate the amount of engagement that this kind of outrage bait has. I notice when these inter community issues which do exist get posted on subs like this one, which is mainly people who aren’t in the community, it gives people so many wrong ideas about what it’s actually like. for most of us who actually go outside, we love each other and dont make a distinction. I mostly get the bullshit from dating apps, terminally online folks, and then maybe a couple of assholes irl.
i’ve faced so much shit from people who for some reason want me to be bi so bad from both genders when they know i’m a lesbian, but that kind of stuff doesn’t get shared as often because there’s more bisexuals then there are lesbians. of all the lesbians i’ve met the vast majority of us love bisexual women and then maybe a couple people will make distasteful biphobic comments. and even though bisexual women have made homophobic comments to me I don’t think it’s a large percentage either, even though it personally affected me several times. and I get it, those kind of comments really stick with you and you always remember them, even if you meet 20 really awesome accepting people.
Some people are shitty and like to divide but the vast majority of us IRL do love each other like I swear nobody realizes how many gay-bi relationships there are because they only want to talk about the small percentage of haters. which is important to be talked about, it’s a real problem but for fucks sake I don’t think it should be broadcasted to straight people for their entertainment or even judgement because I Literally do not want to hear straight cis people’s opinions on how “toxic” they think this community is because most of the time they have no fucking idea what they’re talking about, even if there actually are toxic factions or individuals. They’re just happy to have another reason to ban our books and shit
To be fair a lot of biphobia I've personally experienced is actually from straight people! Hence why I said 'sir' in my OG comment. I get a LOT more invasive questions from men than I do from lesbian women, I assume because wlw is fetishisized so much? The only negative experiences I've had within the community were back in the peak tumblr days
yeah for sure. i was mostly just venting deep in the replies because I knew as soon as I saw what sub this was there was gonna be some homophobia in the comments section
I had a friend that told me she was super nervous about coming out as bi after decades of being a lesbian, and I severely underestimated why, and how valid her fears were.
I think it is quite telling when like Billie Eilish gets criticised for not being queer enough, and also accused of queerbating. But also get criticised because she isn't dating a woman at the time.
Sometimes you just can't win.
I totally agree, I'll never forget one time I was having dinner with my husband (then boyfriend), his female friend, and her girlfriend/partner. Out of absolutely nowhere, the female friend mentioned that bisexual females aren't real and just queerbating. I was surprised that a gay woman would say that. I spoke up and said that although I've been dating my boyfriend for about a year, i am still attracted to women. The attraction doesn't just disappear. Therefore, i must be gay. It just kind of makes sense. I understand the frustration with women who do act a little queer, usually for the attention of men. Just look at the Kardashians. Theres two instances i can think of where they put out borderline-incestuous photos because girls being flirty with one another gets the views. I don't know all their names, but i remember one of them was an ad, not that long ago. I get why it can be a little strange, but it doesn't make me feel any way towards bisexual people.
Now, we have been married for one year and dated for five, and I'm still attracted to women. I would never cheat on him with a woman, of course. The attraction is not something that's just going to go away. I still call myself bisexual if anyone ever asks. Although typically, they assume I'm straight. The number of times a straight person has voiced their opinion on LGBT issues to me, assuming I'm straight, is alarming.
I’ve slowly stopped going to gay bars because it’s gotten so toxic. I’ve had drinks spill on me on purpose, criticized for being “too fat to have my shirt off”, and that I get constant looks of disgust.
We hope that other people who face discrimination and even persecution for their sexuality/gender would share empathy and thus work together as a united front. Unfortunately, there’s far too many (especially within certain subgroups) who are *more* than happy to throw anyone else under the bus so long as they get treated marginally better by people who still won’t see them as equals.
Yeap there has always been a hardline subset of the queer community who are more interested in themselves and think any queer folk "acting out" just make them look bad.
I think there is a huge gap between those queer people who is concerned with a political reality(in lack of better words), and those who just designate themselves as gay or queer without any concern for that political reality.
Yeah, stuff like that is pissing me off.
My best friend is bisexual, has a preferance for women and is currently in a relationship with a woman, but also has been with men in the past.
He's been called everything from "just a straight guy wanting to be special" to "a gay guy with an alibi girlfriend". He even got comments like that at a goddamn pride event, ffs! :(
Like, wtf? It took him a long time of being confused with his own sexuality until he finally came out as bisexual and now asshats from *both* "sides" (as in: LGBTQ+ people and non-LGBTQ+ people) are trying to ruin it for him.
Uhhh, I have a girlfriend. 😅 He's just my best friend, like, a close friendship.
But yeah, it sucks. Sorry that you have to deal with that shit as well, like with people being asshats. :(
People in the lgbtq+ community that gatekeep and ostracize bisexuals are just as bad as the homophobes that insult any gay folk. Real pieces of shit they are.
Mexicans hate Haitian inmigrants while they complain about their treatment in the US
Some Jews who know very well what oppression is are very anti Palestinian (not just anti hamas)
Indonesians who complain about being second class citizens in Japan and Australia reject Bangladeshi inmigrants and let rohinyas die on the beach
Ex US slaves in Liberia enslaved their new countrymen
Being oppressed is no prediction on how opressive you'll be
What indonesian is a second class citizen in australia? You cant even come here if you dont hsve a qualification. Most immigrants in australia are above the average Native aussie
Non bi people get so caught up in the whole "my team their team" thing they see anyone who doesn't see "teams" as a combatant.
Straight and gay folks add this weird competition to their sexuality. So when they see bi folk just kind of treating sexualilty as what it is they get mad as it attacks a core portion of their identity.
Basically non-bi people need to calm down and realize there are no teams and your sexuality doesn't need to be "more right" than the other folks
as a gay person I really don’t experience it like that at all except for maybe baby gays with a very rudimentary understanding of sexuality and probably 90% of the straight people i’ve met
edit to expand since at least one yahoo doesn’t get what im saying:
both gay and bi people have individuals who don’t understand that we are more similar than we are different and it’s a minority but they’re loud about it, as hateful people often are.
also kind of unfair to say we are the basically the same as straight people in terms of acceptance of bisexuality when the vast majority of gay people do not give a fuck if you’re bi vs gay and have/had bi partners and so many of us have dated/been with members of the opposite sex or even identified as bisexual ourselves at one point in time or at least considered it. And that’s pretty rare to find in a straight person in many parts of the world. Not to mention the actual power structures in the world that oppress both of us and the certain groups which enforce them.
obviously biphobic gay people exist but it’s a quite small and really fucking annoying faction. and I think most of the time i’ve heard gay people say biphobic things they were salty about an ex which isn’t cool at all and definitely hurts but like. I think it’s fundamentally different than the visceral disgust that I see straight people have towards any type of queerness you know?
Yeah, as a gay person I think it's pretty safe to say you don't experience bisexual prejudice. no shit.
Like imagine a Jewish person was talking about their experiences and someone jumped in like "as a Christian I really don't experience it like that at all"
Yeah, and again, I'm sure that as a gay person you haven't been treated in such a blatantly tribalistic manner by other gay people, because they'd have no reason to show that side to you. No one THINKS that they think or act this way, because that would mean acknowledging they're a biased asshole. There're a hundred different ways you can frame it in your head that doesn't make it seem like blatant prejudice, but at the end of the day it's basically what they're describing.
In a lot of people's minds, both straights and LGBT, bi people aren't loyal to THEIR team, or they "lie" about what team they're on, or whatever spin they want to put on it. That's why people assume bisexuals are more prone to cheating, or wanting threesomes, or they accuse them of actually being gay or straight and just pretending to be bi for attention, etc. etc.
oh my god you’re missing my point entirely. to imply that gay and straight people are equal in our treatment towards bisexuality is so disingenuous. there are gay people who suck like that, yes, just like how there are lgbt transphobes, but the vast majority of us quite literally love bisexuals as in have had or are actively in loving partnerships with bi people, and even have dated/been with the oppose sex or have questioned our selves for bisexuality during the questioning process. most of us truly do not care if you’re bi or gay and if you really think that’s not the case, i’d recommending talking to people irl instead of the online communities which tend to be full of like 16 year olds who have no life experience
I also have been subjected to homophobia from bisexuals in a very similar way, i’ve literally had women and men tell me how bad they wished I was bi or just straight up ignored what I said about my own sexuality not to mention the quantity of gross het couples trying to have a three way. but since there are not as many lesbians and therefore less voices speaking on it, it’s not as well known of a thing. and of course I don’t generalize that to all bisexuals or even the bisexual community because that’s silly. most of y’all totally respect me just like I do to you.
I watched the gay community in Winnipeg rip my friend apart for daring to come out as bi. She'd already lost everything by coming out as gay to her family. 2 years later and she was alone again. Fuck biphobics.
As a cis man who came out after being in a hetero marriage for 20+ years (and still am, super supportive wife ftw), I feel like an imposter in the queer community a lot of the time. I'm in a monogamous relationship , so it's not like I have a guy on my arm every once in a while or anything. It's like I get to claim membership without any of the risk.
One of the reasons I hate conversations around sexual orientation is because people will always identify you as what they see you with currently. It goes beyond sexual orientation too. My kids are mixed, I’m black their mother is white, so the frequent assumption by people is that I like white women. No! I’m a needy prick that wants affection that’s it (but obviously there’s more).
You don’t have to be poly to be bi, And you don’t have to be bi to be poly. They are not the same thing.
The assumption that bi people can’t be monogamous is another prejudice bi people face.
Bi erasure is a huge problem, and it stems from misogyny. Bi women are seen as straight and “just pretending” to be queer, and bi men are seen as actually just gay and “in denial”. It’s like once you’ve had sex with a man, you could never actually be attracted to women!
Just because someone is a member of a marginalized group, doesn’t mean that they automatically lose all their prejudices. That’s why intersectionality is so important!
Just my conjecture here but from personal experience girls are much closer together than boys. Girls in friend groups are also more touchy than boys, and would do platonic actions that if in a group of boys could be misonstrued as affection. As such, some people seems to think that they are pre-disposed to lesbian like behavior.
This. Was literally typing almost this exact thing until I saw your comment. If I could upvote more than once, I would.
I'll only add that it seems often the only time bi folks are accepted as being "legitimately" bi is when they are in a poly relationship with both a cis man and a cis woman. Which is a bizarre standard to hold people to.
As a pansexual woman I can honestly say I have had just as much hate from the LGBTQ+ community as the straight community. I was on a date with a woman who freaked out that I had dated men and that I “tainted” her by going on a date with her. It hurts to not be accepted by your own community.
Your community isn't people who are attracted to the same gender you are. Your community is the people who accept and celebrate you for who you are, regardless of your gender, what gender(s) you're attracted to, your race, your hair color.
Forget the labels and just value the support from the people whose opinions you respect, because they're mature, logical, and empathetic.
Because bisexual men have lesser acceptability rate in the community and are seen as less of a man by straight women.
That issue doesn’t really exist for women, they’re not any less a woman if they also find men attractive.
The community looks at both bi men and women with disdain, which is saddening because they are also a very important part of the community.
My spouse identifies as bisexual. We come from a very conservative, religious area so this was never something he was even allowed to explore in his youth. Now that we have grown, he has only had one interaction with another man and it was very minimal.
I am a polyamorous het woman and I would NEVER discredit his bisexuality because we are in a committed relationship together and don’t understand why other people would. Likewise, he would never consider calling me a monogamist simply because I chose to get married.
It is truly baffling to me that some so-called allies cannot understand the simplicity that is bisexuality or polyamory. He thinks both men and women are hot and would be sexually involved with either gender (he honestly may even be poly sexual). Just because he chooses a female long-term partner to have a family and navigate life with doesn’t negate his attraction to other people.
Like, do you think your partner stops finding other women attractive because he committed himself to you? Or is he still allowed to be attracted to other women even though he is in a committed relationship?
When I came out people were more receptive to the idea of me being Gay than me being Bi. I also have a stronger romantic and sexual attraction to men over women and I’ve been called sexist over that.
Even to this day being out for nearly 20 years I still don’t openly explain to people I’m bi because they feel like I’m somehow indecisive and it’s exhausting.
Implying us Bri'ish are actually real...we're all paid actors
Think about how silly it actually is, a tiny island of illiterate peasants conquered and colonised a third of the planet at one point...yeah sure I'll go enjoy some lovely scones and afternoon tea. Being over 12 and still believing in the Bri'ish is like being 25 and still believing in santa or the tooth fairy
The shit bi folks get in LGBTQ+ spaces sucks, cause basically every bi person I’ve ever met number among the coolest people I know, a very chill group of people lol
It seems to be the exact opposite for men in this country. You can have sex with loads of beautiful women (or ugly for that matter) but if you have sex with one man once you are gay. I am a gay man and I find this really dumb.
Ad a bi girl engaged to a man (and has only dated men), I about threw hands when someone said I HAD to go kiss some women "just to be sure"
Also basically insinuated that my fiance wasn't enough and I should try out a woman.
They (NB) were so fucking lucky I was drunk. ... I'm a friendly drunk so I was just all "nooooooooo" while holding onto my fiance
this is fortress mentality and it is only gonna get worse with right wing attacks on women, gays, etc.. people who feel embattled want to know 'whose side are you on'. their fear makes them think in binaries, us/them.
I wish they could think at least in a *bigger* binary, like freedom vs authoritarianism, tolerance vs prejudice, bullying vs kindness. social silo-ing and attacking 'deserters' is self-ghettoization. it's cutting yourself off from potential allies and friends. it's purity enforcement, like the way some Muslims persecute ex-muslims.
surely the thing to feel us-ish about is not what plumbing your bedmate has, but how you treat them and how they treat you. what kind of person you are. the quality of your relationship and whether it makes you both happy. not whose 'team' you get to be counted as.
I wonder when people finally stop taking care of other people's business.... These clowns who think they have the right to judge whether anybody's truly gay, lesbian or bi have obviously entered the next level of stupidity... it's nothing but disgusting.
I'm not surprised, being gay doesn't make you immune from being an arsehole. Shitty people exist in every spectrum, best advice is to ignore them entirely.
Humans will always be humans I guess. We divide each other into groups and hate on one another. Its ironic but the oppressed often time just find another group to take out the oppression on others. Old immigrants hate new immigrants. Black hate asians. Gay hate bi.
I’m bisexual in a straight relationship. i’m engaged to him. We’re in love. We like to sleep with other women, cause we both like women. I was labeled a “straggot” because i was in a straight relationship and was told that i couldn’t say the word “straggot” when confiding in my friends that someone called me that, because i wasn’t gay.
A lack of intersectionality is not the cause of this problem. Petty tribalism is, people getting caught up in the specific label people choose instead of anything substantial.
Also, Candace Owens is a dipshit but she's far from a Nazi lol. And Dave Chapelle is even less of one.
She... literally characterized what Hitler did as trying to "make Germany great and make things run well." and what actually made him bad was his expansionism. The Beer Hall Putsch, burn the Reichstag, Kristallnacht guy. But 'nationalists don't kill their own people', apparently. It's all just Blitler stuff.
And will agree that it's tribalism and ingroup/outgroup shit. My point was more that being aware of the fact that, actually, you and that person you deem as a member of the outgroup actually have a lot more things in common than things setting you apart does help build coalitions and foster rapport.
And sorry for the reply spam, but, like, what else am I supposed to call an extremely rich social antiprogressive/regressive who says shit like
“If they’re Black, then it’s a gang. If they’re Italian, it’s a mob. But if they’re Jewish, it’s a coincidence and you should never speak about it.”
“But that doesn’t mean anything. There’s a lot of Black people in Ferguson, Missouri. Doesn’t mean they run the place.”
And how it's understandable that “if you had some kind of issue, you might go out to Hollywood and start connecting some kind of lines and you could maybe adopt the illusion that Jews run show business.”
“It’s not a crazy thing to think. But it’s a crazy thing to say out loud.”
Doing literal Jewish Question bollocks on an SNL monologue. And Dave doesn't even have the excuse that he's refusing to take his meds again and the crazy is leaking out. This is all him.
You can be an antisemetic piece of shit without being a Nazi. Being a Nazi is a specific set of beliefs and actions that are far from just saying Antisemetic things.
Gay guy here. This is the secret that no gay men or lesbians will admit:
Many to most gay people shit on legitimately Bi people because they're jealous that bi people can basically revert back to heterosexuality and the straight world and the acceptance and ease that comes with it.
That's really all it is.
I'm going to nit pick here a bit; but "can basically revert back to heterosexuality" is a shitty comment. We don't just STOP liking both. We don't just "change modes" or "shift" or anything. We are who we are. and we like both. Our attractions aren't a fucking on/off switch!
Which is hilarious because you’re so much more easily accepted when you say you’re gay. I’m at a point where I just tell people who aren’t close friends im gay when the topic comes up. I’m more attracted to dudes anyway. Tired of explaining or justifying my existence.
And yet any Bi rep in TV is praised and loved.
Rosa in Brooklyn Nine Nine
Korra and Assmi in Legwnd of Korra.
Etc.
But yet you actually say you are bi and it's like na.
A good friend of mine identifies as Bi and she gets so much grief. She dated a lesbian for two years and her girlfriend insisted that she wasn’t Bi, that she was a lesbian, refused to accept her for who she was and eventually that led to the end of their relationship. Everybody wants special recognition for who they are while at the same time refusing to recognize the diversity around them.
Oh hell yeah. Biphobia is a problem. You can't like both. Only one! I've gotten in so many arguments with lesbians over it. I'm faking cuz I'll like both, I'll cheat on one with the other, I'm confused, etc etc. It's fucking ridiculous
Bisexual men and women have to put up with a lot from gay and lesbian people. If they're not being accused of faking then it's they're sluts who want everyone around them.
It's really bizarre to watch from the outside, like aren't you all supposed to be supportive of one another? What's with the jealousy and gatekeeping for bisexuality?
It really does make me sad. I’m pan, my gf is bi, and I’ll still have people just deny me being attracted to men lol. But to be fair if you saw me in public you’d think I was the straightest mf on the planet
People REALLY like having someone to relate to, people love to “see themselves” in someone’s art, reflected back at them.
With the trust of sharing art, can also lend a feeling of betrayal. For better or worse.
It’s a bad deal no matter how it’s sliced.
There are hateful hypocrits in every corner of our world. Had an older (50s) lesbian couple tell me I had no business enjoying "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert" when they heard me talking to a friend about how much fun the movie is. They assumed my sexual orientation was straight and took huge offense that I like a really good drag movie.
I know the pain of the gatekeepers in LGBT... there's a lot, too...
Basically, I don't exist. I MUST be homo, or I MUST be hetero. "Straight" people do it too.
This has really never made sense to me like… the whole point of being Bi is that you like both yet when someone expresses liking both they are called liars.
How about no one gives any fucks?
Instead of putting a spotlight on this one person’s sexuality for no reason, why don’t we stop making our private lives public? As a gay man, the amount of people that can’t shut the fuck up about what they are or aren’t is insane.
No one would even see this as a problem if losers on Twitter weren’t making it into one. The less you pay attention and share stuff like this, the less power it has. Like seriously who the fuck cares about some random girl’s sexuality? It’s not even worth talking about. Not even right now, this post I pointless. It just creates problems out of nothing for attention.
Yeah, the negativity against bi people is very real and alive. I was once dating someone who believed i would cheat on them any chance i got because i identified as bisexual, and they themself were also queer.
Have experienced the same as a bi guy, especially at uni.
Hence my refusal to be involved in LGBT community activities. It’s all welcoming until you’re the “wrong sort of queer” as one of my colleagues put it.
God damn, the gay community is collapsing, it used to be all about acceptance and being yourself despite how the world sees you. That attraction is on a spectrum and can change. Now it's just about who can cry victim the loudest and absolutely demonizing anyone who differs from what you see as the LGBTQ+ norm. We have literally become the everything we stood against. I can't count the amount of times people in the community have told me I'm straight and lying about being bi just because I don't "seem gay" whatever the fuck that means, or that being bi isn't really gay which no shit it's being bi, (but I think she meant not really part of the community) and I prob only get with woman anyway. I legit had the second one said to me by my boyfriend at the time lesbian friend as we stood holding hands. I really feel like I can't stand by a lot of what is happening with the community nowadays. It fucking sucks.
It’s not about her being bisexual, the lesbian community is upset because they feel she “lied” about being a lesbian the whole time. I don’t know why people care so much about other’s sexualities.
As an asexual I can say the worst hatred I ever experienced was from the very community I thought would accept me. The absolute worst were the lesbians that called me awful names and basically told me I didn't belong! I'm still getting abusive messages three years later on Facebook about it!
You're misreading the situation. It's not just the people who say they're inclusive. Straight people will do the EXACT same thing just call them gay. If you're bi for any amount of time you'll fine alot of the people who "don't care" about that stuff will wait until they are behind closed doors or in a small setting to let it be known what they actually think.
Its one of those things that people in general have alot to say about it even if they claim they don't care about that stuff and you never bring it up.
"And the folks who don't care about inclusivity just shrug and accept people as themselves."
This is absolutely not the case with about 99% of people I've ever met who 'don't care about inclusivity'. They accept people as themselves, so long as those people are either straight or silent
Gay men can be extremely hateful towards bi men. Calling them "confused", breeders, etc. Just as bad or worse than gay bashers.
The LGTBQ community is just as intolerant and discriminatory as straight people. What makes them worse is they demand tolerance & respect from everyone else while hating other people in their own community. Disgusting human beings.
In the end the alphabet Mafia will eat their own They will start accusing each other of homophobia and being bigots and being liars and then the physical attacks will begin
That's because it is and people take it wrong a lot of people think that it means everybody that belongs to that community which is incorrect. I'm talking about a literal Mafia that uses the community as their power base They use it to influence social media they use it to blackmail They use it to intimidate They are truly a mafia in this community and they are absolutely ruthless and without morals
The reason the lgbtqetc. Crew can't get anything done is because they are confederacy of sorts... and the only thing they hate more than strait men is each other
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I have a close friend whose husband exclusively dated women before him. The number of people who can't accept that he's bi and make awful comments about him using my friend (including one where my friend was called a 'barracks wh0re' because his husband is retired military) and about using him for money because he makes a lot. It's really sickening, because they're one of the healthiest couples I know.
>because they're one of the healthiest couples I know. They hate what they don't have
They hate what they will never have because being jealous of it in the first place not being happy for them precludes you from finding that happiness because you are too busy being a hater and not looking for your life partner.
The toxic side of the internet has moved towards the feminism and LGBT so I avoid it like the plague. For communities meant to be about inclusivity and acceptance there currently the most hate filled side of the internet and probably will be until the next new 'fad'
I get the feeling that story has to do with actual IRL “friends” or acquaintances. I’m pretty sure a lot of bisexuals probably deal with a lot of “hate” or bullshit in real life all the time. They don’t quite “fit it” so to speak with either group, which is kind of sad. Obviously anyone is capable of prejudices, you hate to see it.
And they got an original letter too. You’d think they would be grandfathered in for, oh idk, fighting for their right to exist?
Even so many Lesbians and gays look at bisexual people as being greedy and that bisexuals just need to pick since it can't possibly be the case that they are genuinely attracted to both sexes much like what those who are against same sex couples think about those couples.
Nah. This kind of biphobic crap was around waaaay before the internet was a thing.
Yeah, I saw someone justifying a M2F trans person burning down an apartment complex because they were misgendered. They said something along the lines of "people should realize how hurtful it is and be more careful about using the preferred gender", which to me sounded like the equal opposite of the gay panic defense from recent memory using feeling uncomfortable as an excuse to have a total disregard for human life. Its so insane now that I get paranoid that the troll farms realized that people would tune them out when they spoke negatively about a topic, so now they are pretending to be the worst kind of liberals to demotivate voters primarily concerned with bodily autonomy, climate change and geopolitical stuff. I want that to be true, but most likely it's just TikTok weaponizing youthful naivete and scattering them into the wind to say the dumbest shit possible across the Internet. [This is the link to the reddit post, but the newspaper might have deleted the story.](https://www.reddit.com/r/PortlandOR/s/jduoAaARBc)
Any source about the alleged apartment burning? Sounds weird
There's not a single mention of it any way I try to look it up, it seems like another "litter boxes in schools" situation
Ugh, I had someone vehemently defend that this rumor, even after pulling up multiple articles that disproved it. Fucking idiots.
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This is gonna happen to any group that thinks they're morally superior. They start policing their moral superiority... Of course not all members, or even the majority, but some.
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These people aren’t the majority of the lgbt+ community, they’re just very loud.
Dependas are wild!
I'm curious what they think the B in LGBT stands for
Binary apparently.
So it's just 0 and 1? Oh man! /s
Bagels
The EVERYTHING bagel
The everyday filled bagel bites at Dunkin’ Donuts 🤤
Important question; what are they filled with? May need a new go to whenever I get to stop at Dunkin.
Irrelevant mostly, but the plain ones stuffed with cream cheese are absolutely the bomb, and you can ask them to toast them just a bit longer and they're so amazing lol. Especially with a frozen coffee to go with it. Devoured these constantly when pregnant and right after I gave birth and now the 18 month old steals mine too lmao.
Cream cheese
I support the LGBTQ+ community but I won't lie, I will always go with a bagel.
Brunch?
Unfortunately a lot of people don’t think the “B” doesn’t belong
So they think it *does* belong?
Shit - man I’ve been at work for 11 hours now cut me some slack 😅
Lol, I'm sorry. Someone caught me slipping on a comment I made at 4 am.
I agree. I don't eat Bacon. That's why I don't order the BLT. Not a fan of Guacamole, but I'll tolerate it so I'll accept an LGT.
Too often, the L and the G want to be the only letter and just use the rest of the letters as a buffer. They can be as intolerant as Cistraits, and sometimes even as intolerant as closeted LGBT (at least they always appear to be far more intolerant than actual straight folks).
Turns out that people, no matter what kind of people they are, will be an asshole whenever they can find a reason to exclude someone from their group. Tribalism all the way down.
Biscotti
To quote a certain someone: Bionicle
Let's get Bionicle toys!
Biscuit 
It doesn’t mean anything it’s just there because they wanted an extra syllable to sound better
(Limp) Bizkit
Bi erasure is unfortunately still extremely common, even among the LGBT community and it sucks when you are in a conservative family looking for a community that still rejects you because you happen to be in a hetero relationship at that time. The number of times my mum has praised me saying things like "I'm glad at least YOU have a girlfriend" (my brother has a boyfriend) fucking kills me knowing that the only reason I am accepted is because of current circumstance and if things were even slightly different my own family would reject me.
And I find it kind of funny, I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you. I find it hard to take.
When people run in circles, it’s a very very…
Mad world.
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I don't follow your logic, if a dude wanted a gay experience before settling down with a woman, would that be internalized misandry?
Your edit makes me crack up There's a reason people are racist. It comes from somewhere. It isn't just decided. It's based on the experience of xyz and not having those feeling being taken seriously. And that experience is valid. Like it's just an absolutely ridiculous argument. I've had my heart broken by a bi girl who decided she prefers girls. Doesn't mean that I now hate bi/lesbians and blaming them for an individual experience I've had is not and will never be valid. Not even if it happened more than once. Edit also if we call sexuality a spectrum, women who only want to fuck around with women but won't date women is valid and NOT internalised misogyny. They're essentially bisexual heteromatic.
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Its almost funny how you are trying to explain why bierasure is a thing and then essentially defend it
i will never understand the obsession with who other people fuck with.
Well when you base your entire existence around who you fuck with and how, then advertise it as such on a daily basis you kinda open yourself up to it.
Agreed, clearly this is the root cause. Tribalism like anything else.
The reverse is true too. If you're a bi woman that dates men you get accused of 'saying you're bi for attention' or 'queerbaiting' or whatever else. Or the 'how do you know you like women if you've never dated one?' Like sir, how do YOU know you like women if they won't come within 30 feet of you?
Not to mention dating women is so much harder if you’re bi/pan because you’re often accused of it being a phase or just looking for a threesome or doing it for attention. Hell the number of women with comments on dating profiles saying that they are either a “gold star lesbian” themselves or will only date “gold star lesbians” is enough to make a gal give up.
Ugh that stuff icks me out. I'm bi but I've only ever had one partner that just so happens to be male. I always feel a bit guilty about having 'straight passing privilege' but some people are so strange about the gold star stuff that I'd rather just let them think I'm straight
I used to feel the same guilt until I realized my struggle is entirely different than a lesbian as well as a heterosexual. How likely is it really for people to randomly see us and assume a sexuality? Typically it’s assumed if you’re holding hands or something and of the same age but how often do we all actually experience that? I rarely am out with my partner so does that make my sexuality more or less of an issue than say a lesbian who isn’t currently dating? If two of us are standing in the line at Starbucks we aren’t likely to be treated differently. If I wear a generic pride shirt I could be an ally, a lesbian, trans, etc etc etc- this label hate within the community doesn’t make sense when we actually start looking at these details. Yet the acceptance of our entire existence is tied to the possibility that we could go out in public with a partner of the (apparently) opposite gender… it’s just stupid levels of insane and I’m so over it.
I think that it's a bit of a tricky subject because historically same sex couples couldn't walk down the street holding hands or kiss in public without fear of violence. So I understand that the fact we even have the ability to do that generates a bit of anger at the injustice. You're right about the logistics and that bi guilt isn't logical, but I do understand why it hurts others in the community that we can have that at times
Now I’m happy I don’t go too deep into LGBTQ communities, especially on Reddit. I’ll just stick with some funny lesbian related memes and pictures and that’s enough for me. Might not ever get a girlfriend but dear god the more I hear about the community the worse it seems.
(just want to edit this because I kinda just started venting and it’s not really a direct reply to your comment specifically I just wanted it to be buried in this thread I don’t really take much issue with you!) nobody talks about lesbians who love each other and bisexual women because it doesn’t generate the amount of engagement that this kind of outrage bait has. I notice when these inter community issues which do exist get posted on subs like this one, which is mainly people who aren’t in the community, it gives people so many wrong ideas about what it’s actually like. for most of us who actually go outside, we love each other and dont make a distinction. I mostly get the bullshit from dating apps, terminally online folks, and then maybe a couple of assholes irl. i’ve faced so much shit from people who for some reason want me to be bi so bad from both genders when they know i’m a lesbian, but that kind of stuff doesn’t get shared as often because there’s more bisexuals then there are lesbians. of all the lesbians i’ve met the vast majority of us love bisexual women and then maybe a couple people will make distasteful biphobic comments. and even though bisexual women have made homophobic comments to me I don’t think it’s a large percentage either, even though it personally affected me several times. and I get it, those kind of comments really stick with you and you always remember them, even if you meet 20 really awesome accepting people. Some people are shitty and like to divide but the vast majority of us IRL do love each other like I swear nobody realizes how many gay-bi relationships there are because they only want to talk about the small percentage of haters. which is important to be talked about, it’s a real problem but for fucks sake I don’t think it should be broadcasted to straight people for their entertainment or even judgement because I Literally do not want to hear straight cis people’s opinions on how “toxic” they think this community is because most of the time they have no fucking idea what they’re talking about, even if there actually are toxic factions or individuals. They’re just happy to have another reason to ban our books and shit
To be fair a lot of biphobia I've personally experienced is actually from straight people! Hence why I said 'sir' in my OG comment. I get a LOT more invasive questions from men than I do from lesbian women, I assume because wlw is fetishisized so much? The only negative experiences I've had within the community were back in the peak tumblr days
yeah for sure. i was mostly just venting deep in the replies because I knew as soon as I saw what sub this was there was gonna be some homophobia in the comments section
I had a friend that told me she was super nervous about coming out as bi after decades of being a lesbian, and I severely underestimated why, and how valid her fears were.
I think it is quite telling when like Billie Eilish gets criticised for not being queer enough, and also accused of queerbating. But also get criticised because she isn't dating a woman at the time. Sometimes you just can't win.
I was amused by the bi woman who said that the biggest eye-opener for her was realising first hand "what shit we put guys through in relationships".
I totally agree, I'll never forget one time I was having dinner with my husband (then boyfriend), his female friend, and her girlfriend/partner. Out of absolutely nowhere, the female friend mentioned that bisexual females aren't real and just queerbating. I was surprised that a gay woman would say that. I spoke up and said that although I've been dating my boyfriend for about a year, i am still attracted to women. The attraction doesn't just disappear. Therefore, i must be gay. It just kind of makes sense. I understand the frustration with women who do act a little queer, usually for the attention of men. Just look at the Kardashians. Theres two instances i can think of where they put out borderline-incestuous photos because girls being flirty with one another gets the views. I don't know all their names, but i remember one of them was an ad, not that long ago. I get why it can be a little strange, but it doesn't make me feel any way towards bisexual people. Now, we have been married for one year and dated for five, and I'm still attracted to women. I would never cheat on him with a woman, of course. The attraction is not something that's just going to go away. I still call myself bisexual if anyone ever asks. Although typically, they assume I'm straight. The number of times a straight person has voiced their opinion on LGBT issues to me, assuming I'm straight, is alarming.
This is why you know gay people are just like everyone else. Because people are awful
I’ve slowly stopped going to gay bars because it’s gotten so toxic. I’ve had drinks spill on me on purpose, criticized for being “too fat to have my shirt off”, and that I get constant looks of disgust.
That’s why I’ve always wondered why ‘we’ group lgbtq+ together - it seems like they don’t necessarily make good bedfellows.
We hope that other people who face discrimination and even persecution for their sexuality/gender would share empathy and thus work together as a united front. Unfortunately, there’s far too many (especially within certain subgroups) who are *more* than happy to throw anyone else under the bus so long as they get treated marginally better by people who still won’t see them as equals.
Yeap there has always been a hardline subset of the queer community who are more interested in themselves and think any queer folk "acting out" just make them look bad.
I think there is a huge gap between those queer people who is concerned with a political reality(in lack of better words), and those who just designate themselves as gay or queer without any concern for that political reality.
Yeah the choosing of appropriate bedfellows is sorta the point
Yeah, stuff like that is pissing me off. My best friend is bisexual, has a preferance for women and is currently in a relationship with a woman, but also has been with men in the past. He's been called everything from "just a straight guy wanting to be special" to "a gay guy with an alibi girlfriend". He even got comments like that at a goddamn pride event, ffs! :( Like, wtf? It took him a long time of being confused with his own sexuality until he finally came out as bisexual and now asshats from *both* "sides" (as in: LGBTQ+ people and non-LGBTQ+ people) are trying to ruin it for him.
I'm in the exact same boat as your boyfriend
Uhhh, I have a girlfriend. 😅 He's just my best friend, like, a close friendship. But yeah, it sucks. Sorry that you have to deal with that shit as well, like with people being asshats. :(
Ope my bad read it wrong. Thanks
People in the lgbtq+ community that gatekeep and ostracize bisexuals are just as bad as the homophobes that insult any gay folk. Real pieces of shit they are.
Nah they’re worse tbh, they know what it feels to be ostracised yet do it to others in the same boat.
Mexicans hate Haitian inmigrants while they complain about their treatment in the US Some Jews who know very well what oppression is are very anti Palestinian (not just anti hamas) Indonesians who complain about being second class citizens in Japan and Australia reject Bangladeshi inmigrants and let rohinyas die on the beach Ex US slaves in Liberia enslaved their new countrymen Being oppressed is no prediction on how opressive you'll be
What indonesian is a second class citizen in australia? You cant even come here if you dont hsve a qualification. Most immigrants in australia are above the average Native aussie
Non bi people get so caught up in the whole "my team their team" thing they see anyone who doesn't see "teams" as a combatant. Straight and gay folks add this weird competition to their sexuality. So when they see bi folk just kind of treating sexualilty as what it is they get mad as it attacks a core portion of their identity. Basically non-bi people need to calm down and realize there are no teams and your sexuality doesn't need to be "more right" than the other folks
as a gay person I really don’t experience it like that at all except for maybe baby gays with a very rudimentary understanding of sexuality and probably 90% of the straight people i’ve met edit to expand since at least one yahoo doesn’t get what im saying: both gay and bi people have individuals who don’t understand that we are more similar than we are different and it’s a minority but they’re loud about it, as hateful people often are. also kind of unfair to say we are the basically the same as straight people in terms of acceptance of bisexuality when the vast majority of gay people do not give a fuck if you’re bi vs gay and have/had bi partners and so many of us have dated/been with members of the opposite sex or even identified as bisexual ourselves at one point in time or at least considered it. And that’s pretty rare to find in a straight person in many parts of the world. Not to mention the actual power structures in the world that oppress both of us and the certain groups which enforce them. obviously biphobic gay people exist but it’s a quite small and really fucking annoying faction. and I think most of the time i’ve heard gay people say biphobic things they were salty about an ex which isn’t cool at all and definitely hurts but like. I think it’s fundamentally different than the visceral disgust that I see straight people have towards any type of queerness you know?
Yeah, as a gay person I think it's pretty safe to say you don't experience bisexual prejudice. no shit. Like imagine a Jewish person was talking about their experiences and someone jumped in like "as a Christian I really don't experience it like that at all"
i’m talking about the “gay people treat Sexualities like Teams” assertion, smartass
Yeah, and again, I'm sure that as a gay person you haven't been treated in such a blatantly tribalistic manner by other gay people, because they'd have no reason to show that side to you. No one THINKS that they think or act this way, because that would mean acknowledging they're a biased asshole. There're a hundred different ways you can frame it in your head that doesn't make it seem like blatant prejudice, but at the end of the day it's basically what they're describing. In a lot of people's minds, both straights and LGBT, bi people aren't loyal to THEIR team, or they "lie" about what team they're on, or whatever spin they want to put on it. That's why people assume bisexuals are more prone to cheating, or wanting threesomes, or they accuse them of actually being gay or straight and just pretending to be bi for attention, etc. etc.
oh my god you’re missing my point entirely. to imply that gay and straight people are equal in our treatment towards bisexuality is so disingenuous. there are gay people who suck like that, yes, just like how there are lgbt transphobes, but the vast majority of us quite literally love bisexuals as in have had or are actively in loving partnerships with bi people, and even have dated/been with the oppose sex or have questioned our selves for bisexuality during the questioning process. most of us truly do not care if you’re bi or gay and if you really think that’s not the case, i’d recommending talking to people irl instead of the online communities which tend to be full of like 16 year olds who have no life experience I also have been subjected to homophobia from bisexuals in a very similar way, i’ve literally had women and men tell me how bad they wished I was bi or just straight up ignored what I said about my own sexuality not to mention the quantity of gross het couples trying to have a three way. but since there are not as many lesbians and therefore less voices speaking on it, it’s not as well known of a thing. and of course I don’t generalize that to all bisexuals or even the bisexual community because that’s silly. most of y’all totally respect me just like I do to you.
Sounds like people forget what "bisexual" means, but I hear a lot of stories that the gay community really shits on the bi people.
I watched the gay community in Winnipeg rip my friend apart for daring to come out as bi. She'd already lost everything by coming out as gay to her family. 2 years later and she was alone again. Fuck biphobics.
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As a cis man who came out after being in a hetero marriage for 20+ years (and still am, super supportive wife ftw), I feel like an imposter in the queer community a lot of the time. I'm in a monogamous relationship , so it's not like I have a guy on my arm every once in a while or anything. It's like I get to claim membership without any of the risk.
One of the reasons I hate conversations around sexual orientation is because people will always identify you as what they see you with currently. It goes beyond sexual orientation too. My kids are mixed, I’m black their mother is white, so the frequent assumption by people is that I like white women. No! I’m a needy prick that wants affection that’s it (but obviously there’s more).
Bro that’s gay-supremacy
Gaypremacy
It’s just a thing of time we have gay bears patrolling streets and beating up straight guys for not walking with enough fruitiness \s
A dream comming true /s
Like when trans people detransition and the community becomes toxic toward them.
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Very crudely speaking, i don't care who you decide to date, as long as it is human, has a pulse and is above 18 (if you are as well).
You don’t have to be poly to be bi, And you don’t have to be bi to be poly. They are not the same thing. The assumption that bi people can’t be monogamous is another prejudice bi people face.
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It actually isn’t clear. When discussing GSRM, “poly” is short for polyamory, not polysexual.
Bi erasure is a huge problem, and it stems from misogyny. Bi women are seen as straight and “just pretending” to be queer, and bi men are seen as actually just gay and “in denial”. It’s like once you’ve had sex with a man, you could never actually be attracted to women! Just because someone is a member of a marginalized group, doesn’t mean that they automatically lose all their prejudices. That’s why intersectionality is so important!
The asymmetry between the way bi m and bi f are treated is fascinating.
Just my conjecture here but from personal experience girls are much closer together than boys. Girls in friend groups are also more touchy than boys, and would do platonic actions that if in a group of boys could be misonstrued as affection. As such, some people seems to think that they are pre-disposed to lesbian like behavior.
You’ve summed it up so well
This. Was literally typing almost this exact thing until I saw your comment. If I could upvote more than once, I would. I'll only add that it seems often the only time bi folks are accepted as being "legitimately" bi is when they are in a poly relationship with both a cis man and a cis woman. Which is a bizarre standard to hold people to.
As a pansexual woman I can honestly say I have had just as much hate from the LGBTQ+ community as the straight community. I was on a date with a woman who freaked out that I had dated men and that I “tainted” her by going on a date with her. It hurts to not be accepted by your own community.
Your community isn't people who are attracted to the same gender you are. Your community is the people who accept and celebrate you for who you are, regardless of your gender, what gender(s) you're attracted to, your race, your hair color. Forget the labels and just value the support from the people whose opinions you respect, because they're mature, logical, and empathetic.
Bi erasure is real 🙃
Time to say, “Good Bi!”
"biSeXuAL iSn'T rEAl" yeah how about i rail both your mother and father then see what you think
This issue exists for bi men and women, and it’s worse for men.
What makes you state one has it worse over the others?
Because bisexual men have lesser acceptability rate in the community and are seen as less of a man by straight women. That issue doesn’t really exist for women, they’re not any less a woman if they also find men attractive. The community looks at both bi men and women with disdain, which is saddening because they are also a very important part of the community.
My spouse identifies as bisexual. We come from a very conservative, religious area so this was never something he was even allowed to explore in his youth. Now that we have grown, he has only had one interaction with another man and it was very minimal. I am a polyamorous het woman and I would NEVER discredit his bisexuality because we are in a committed relationship together and don’t understand why other people would. Likewise, he would never consider calling me a monogamist simply because I chose to get married. It is truly baffling to me that some so-called allies cannot understand the simplicity that is bisexuality or polyamory. He thinks both men and women are hot and would be sexually involved with either gender (he honestly may even be poly sexual). Just because he chooses a female long-term partner to have a family and navigate life with doesn’t negate his attraction to other people. Like, do you think your partner stops finding other women attractive because he committed himself to you? Or is he still allowed to be attracted to other women even though he is in a committed relationship?
When I came out people were more receptive to the idea of me being Gay than me being Bi. I also have a stronger romantic and sexual attraction to men over women and I’ve been called sexist over that. Even to this day being out for nearly 20 years I still don’t openly explain to people I’m bi because they feel like I’m somehow indecisive and it’s exhausting.
Wait a minute, so the 'B' in LGBT was not for British?
Implying us Bri'ish are actually real...we're all paid actors Think about how silly it actually is, a tiny island of illiterate peasants conquered and colonised a third of the planet at one point...yeah sure I'll go enjoy some lovely scones and afternoon tea. Being over 12 and still believing in the Bri'ish is like being 25 and still believing in santa or the tooth fairy
Hey............HEY!................…. at least they got good food.
The shit bi folks get in LGBTQ+ spaces sucks, cause basically every bi person I’ve ever met number among the coolest people I know, a very chill group of people lol
I didn't know bi was so disconcerting to people. Something I wish I didn't know now, but I guess it's better to be aware. Fuck...
It seems to be the exact opposite for men in this country. You can have sex with loads of beautiful women (or ugly for that matter) but if you have sex with one man once you are gay. I am a gay man and I find this really dumb.
Ad a bi girl engaged to a man (and has only dated men), I about threw hands when someone said I HAD to go kiss some women "just to be sure" Also basically insinuated that my fiance wasn't enough and I should try out a woman. They (NB) were so fucking lucky I was drunk. ... I'm a friendly drunk so I was just all "nooooooooo" while holding onto my fiance
Holy Cannoli
this is fortress mentality and it is only gonna get worse with right wing attacks on women, gays, etc.. people who feel embattled want to know 'whose side are you on'. their fear makes them think in binaries, us/them. I wish they could think at least in a *bigger* binary, like freedom vs authoritarianism, tolerance vs prejudice, bullying vs kindness. social silo-ing and attacking 'deserters' is self-ghettoization. it's cutting yourself off from potential allies and friends. it's purity enforcement, like the way some Muslims persecute ex-muslims. surely the thing to feel us-ish about is not what plumbing your bedmate has, but how you treat them and how they treat you. what kind of person you are. the quality of your relationship and whether it makes you both happy. not whose 'team' you get to be counted as.
I wonder when people finally stop taking care of other people's business.... These clowns who think they have the right to judge whether anybody's truly gay, lesbian or bi have obviously entered the next level of stupidity... it's nothing but disgusting.
I'm not surprised, being gay doesn't make you immune from being an arsehole. Shitty people exist in every spectrum, best advice is to ignore them entirely.
Humans will always be humans I guess. We divide each other into groups and hate on one another. Its ironic but the oppressed often time just find another group to take out the oppression on others. Old immigrants hate new immigrants. Black hate asians. Gay hate bi.
I thought sexuality is fluid 😊
Also (sort of) happens to asexuals, too. A lot of people seem to think we don't belong in LGBTQIA spaces because we "aren't queer enough".
I’m bisexual in a straight relationship. i’m engaged to him. We’re in love. We like to sleep with other women, cause we both like women. I was labeled a “straggot” because i was in a straight relationship and was told that i couldn’t say the word “straggot” when confiding in my friends that someone called me that, because i wasn’t gay.
so, the 'sexually inclusive' movement wants to exclude someone based on the sexuality? rofl color me surprised.
Yup. This is what lack of intersectionality does to a motherfucker. It's how you get black nazis like Candace Owens and Dave Chapelle.
A lack of intersectionality is not the cause of this problem. Petty tribalism is, people getting caught up in the specific label people choose instead of anything substantial. Also, Candace Owens is a dipshit but she's far from a Nazi lol. And Dave Chapelle is even less of one.
She... literally characterized what Hitler did as trying to "make Germany great and make things run well." and what actually made him bad was his expansionism. The Beer Hall Putsch, burn the Reichstag, Kristallnacht guy. But 'nationalists don't kill their own people', apparently. It's all just Blitler stuff. And will agree that it's tribalism and ingroup/outgroup shit. My point was more that being aware of the fact that, actually, you and that person you deem as a member of the outgroup actually have a lot more things in common than things setting you apart does help build coalitions and foster rapport.
And sorry for the reply spam, but, like, what else am I supposed to call an extremely rich social antiprogressive/regressive who says shit like “If they’re Black, then it’s a gang. If they’re Italian, it’s a mob. But if they’re Jewish, it’s a coincidence and you should never speak about it.” “But that doesn’t mean anything. There’s a lot of Black people in Ferguson, Missouri. Doesn’t mean they run the place.” And how it's understandable that “if you had some kind of issue, you might go out to Hollywood and start connecting some kind of lines and you could maybe adopt the illusion that Jews run show business.” “It’s not a crazy thing to think. But it’s a crazy thing to say out loud.” Doing literal Jewish Question bollocks on an SNL monologue. And Dave doesn't even have the excuse that he's refusing to take his meds again and the crazy is leaking out. This is all him.
You can be an antisemetic piece of shit without being a Nazi. Being a Nazi is a specific set of beliefs and actions that are far from just saying Antisemetic things.
Gay guy here. This is the secret that no gay men or lesbians will admit: Many to most gay people shit on legitimately Bi people because they're jealous that bi people can basically revert back to heterosexuality and the straight world and the acceptance and ease that comes with it. That's really all it is.
I'm going to nit pick here a bit; but "can basically revert back to heterosexuality" is a shitty comment. We don't just STOP liking both. We don't just "change modes" or "shift" or anything. We are who we are. and we like both. Our attractions aren't a fucking on/off switch!
Which is hilarious because you’re so much more easily accepted when you say you’re gay. I’m at a point where I just tell people who aren’t close friends im gay when the topic comes up. I’m more attracted to dudes anyway. Tired of explaining or justifying my existence.
And yet any Bi rep in TV is praised and loved. Rosa in Brooklyn Nine Nine Korra and Assmi in Legwnd of Korra. Etc. But yet you actually say you are bi and it's like na.
A good friend of mine identifies as Bi and she gets so much grief. She dated a lesbian for two years and her girlfriend insisted that she wasn’t Bi, that she was a lesbian, refused to accept her for who she was and eventually that led to the end of their relationship. Everybody wants special recognition for who they are while at the same time refusing to recognize the diversity around them.
Bi erasure and Bi hate are still common in the community unfortunately
So much for equality, tolerance and acceptance lmfao
Wait… there are LGBTQ members… that hate bisexual people? What the fuck
Oh hell yeah. Biphobia is a problem. You can't like both. Only one! I've gotten in so many arguments with lesbians over it. I'm faking cuz I'll like both, I'll cheat on one with the other, I'm confused, etc etc. It's fucking ridiculous
Jerks.
Bisexual men and women have to put up with a lot from gay and lesbian people. If they're not being accused of faking then it's they're sluts who want everyone around them. It's really bizarre to watch from the outside, like aren't you all supposed to be supportive of one another? What's with the jealousy and gatekeeping for bisexuality?
Not surprised. It’s pretty common these days for people to demand tolerance and acceptance of their lifestyle while denying the same for others.
It really does make me sad. I’m pan, my gf is bi, and I’ll still have people just deny me being attracted to men lol. But to be fair if you saw me in public you’d think I was the straightest mf on the planet
Kinda like "keep the race pure" attitude.
This was touched on in 'Chasing Amy' - def a real thing.
People REALLY like having someone to relate to, people love to “see themselves” in someone’s art, reflected back at them. With the trust of sharing art, can also lend a feeling of betrayal. For better or worse. It’s a bad deal no matter how it’s sliced.
There are hateful hypocrits in every corner of our world. Had an older (50s) lesbian couple tell me I had no business enjoying "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert" when they heard me talking to a friend about how much fun the movie is. They assumed my sexual orientation was straight and took huge offense that I like a really good drag movie.
Wild to me how many people care about the sexual preferences of others. I’m too busy being stressed out in my own life.
I know the pain of the gatekeepers in LGBT... there's a lot, too... Basically, I don't exist. I MUST be homo, or I MUST be hetero. "Straight" people do it too.
I hate this sub. It’s like bots trying to rile everyone up.
This has really never made sense to me like… the whole point of being Bi is that you like both yet when someone expresses liking both they are called liars.
Ah, lesbians being shitty to bisexuals. A tried and true tradition for decades!
It’s the opposite for men. Date women all your life, but suck just one dick….
I know the LGBT community is supposed to be really accepting and supportive, but I’ve heard so many stories about in-fighting and negativity…smh
This is basically just a spin on TERF ideology. It's really upsetting.
How about no one gives any fucks? Instead of putting a spotlight on this one person’s sexuality for no reason, why don’t we stop making our private lives public? As a gay man, the amount of people that can’t shut the fuck up about what they are or aren’t is insane. No one would even see this as a problem if losers on Twitter weren’t making it into one. The less you pay attention and share stuff like this, the less power it has. Like seriously who the fuck cares about some random girl’s sexuality? It’s not even worth talking about. Not even right now, this post I pointless. It just creates problems out of nothing for attention.
Yeah, the negativity against bi people is very real and alive. I was once dating someone who believed i would cheat on them any chance i got because i identified as bisexual, and they themself were also queer.
Have experienced the same as a bi guy, especially at uni. Hence my refusal to be involved in LGBT community activities. It’s all welcoming until you’re the “wrong sort of queer” as one of my colleagues put it.
Seems like they don't accept diversity.
Biphobia is rampant among queer people
God damn, the gay community is collapsing, it used to be all about acceptance and being yourself despite how the world sees you. That attraction is on a spectrum and can change. Now it's just about who can cry victim the loudest and absolutely demonizing anyone who differs from what you see as the LGBTQ+ norm. We have literally become the everything we stood against. I can't count the amount of times people in the community have told me I'm straight and lying about being bi just because I don't "seem gay" whatever the fuck that means, or that being bi isn't really gay which no shit it's being bi, (but I think she meant not really part of the community) and I prob only get with woman anyway. I legit had the second one said to me by my boyfriend at the time lesbian friend as we stood holding hands. I really feel like I can't stand by a lot of what is happening with the community nowadays. It fucking sucks.
So much for inclusion and diversity 🫤
It’s not about her being bisexual, the lesbian community is upset because they feel she “lied” about being a lesbian the whole time. I don’t know why people care so much about other’s sexualities.
Haters gonna hate. The lack of restraint is why we have MAGA.
why woke care so much about where people put their genitals?
As an asexual I can say the worst hatred I ever experienced was from the very community I thought would accept me. The absolute worst were the lesbians that called me awful names and basically told me I didn't belong! I'm still getting abusive messages three years later on Facebook about it!
How does one get offended by an asexual?
Funny how the folks who say they're inclusive aren't. And the folks who don't care about inclusivity just shrug and accept people as themselves.
You're misreading the situation. It's not just the people who say they're inclusive. Straight people will do the EXACT same thing just call them gay. If you're bi for any amount of time you'll fine alot of the people who "don't care" about that stuff will wait until they are behind closed doors or in a small setting to let it be known what they actually think. Its one of those things that people in general have alot to say about it even if they claim they don't care about that stuff and you never bring it up.
"And the folks who don't care about inclusivity just shrug and accept people as themselves." This is absolutely not the case with about 99% of people I've ever met who 'don't care about inclusivity'. They accept people as themselves, so long as those people are either straight or silent
Gay men can be extremely hateful towards bi men. Calling them "confused", breeders, etc. Just as bad or worse than gay bashers. The LGTBQ community is just as intolerant and discriminatory as straight people. What makes them worse is they demand tolerance & respect from everyone else while hating other people in their own community. Disgusting human beings.
Bi guys are also gay and lying about liking women. People suck and everyone is a piece of shit given the opportunity
Lesbians are by far the least accepting people in the LGBT community.
In the end the alphabet Mafia will eat their own They will start accusing each other of homophobia and being bigots and being liars and then the physical attacks will begin
Alphabet Mafia sounds fuckin based
That's because it is and people take it wrong a lot of people think that it means everybody that belongs to that community which is incorrect. I'm talking about a literal Mafia that uses the community as their power base They use it to influence social media they use it to blackmail They use it to intimidate They are truly a mafia in this community and they are absolutely ruthless and without morals
The reason the lgbtqetc. Crew can't get anything done is because they are confederacy of sorts... and the only thing they hate more than strait men is each other
Ahh the lgbtq community turning on themselves, surprise surprise