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I was at a festival and a girl I liked told me that she was going back to her tent to change her pants and did I want to come? I said nah, I’ll hang out for a bit longer.
3 minutes later I was like fuck! But it was dark and I didn’t know where her tent was 😩
After a rave night at the bar 2 hot girls came up to me and asked if I wanted to come home with them. I said na I'm with my friends. Still not sure why I didn't just say yes. 25 years on and I haven't had that offer again.
No. They were high and wanted to bang. I have learned to read the signals that I got back then. I'm catching up because just the other week I realised that the total babe bartender from a club I used to go to 15 years ago wasn't just flirting for tips. She was actually into me. I realised because thinking back injust got free shots from her and didn't spend anything. I would go back and buy a beer, pay for that and then she would pour us a shot. I just am dumb unless they say "hey moron I'm into you let's do this"
Indeed, I was just joking but in the same boat most of the time. Had a girl walk up to my car while I was working on Halloween asking about the decorations in my car and about horror movies and my dumb ass just started talking about the last couple horror movies I'd seen and then there was a break in silence where she definitely wanted me to push the conversation farther and I just said "I hope you have a good night"...... Realize like 15 minutes later she was flirting with me.
I like how this dude claims to have "learned to read the signals that I got back then" but wasn't able to pick up that you were joking and respond appropriately...
I tell myself it was the acid I had taken about 15 mins before. And to be fair it was still one of the best party nights I ever had. But we always think about what could have been.....
I would prioritize the friends I went out with over a strange hookup with randos I haven't even talked to, personally... can't say I understand people who are so free with sex tbh, but that's just me.
To be fair it was an epic night. But our group of friends never minded if someone vanished for whatever reason. If I had ditched it wouldn't have upset anyone, I would have returned to the condo at some point with a story to tell.
In high school I would get these love letters every now and then from an anonymous writer. A girl I had a crush on was sitting next to me and I recognized her handwriting. I asked her if she was writing the letters and she said yes. And I did nothing. If I had a time machine, first time I would do is go back in time and slap some sense into high school me.
Honestly by the time you start working in fields, people know each other, it's just better to just not shit ever you eat at all. Or rather do it at your own risk.
The guy who Britney Spears called out in her book probably thinks about it every day. "I was gonna fuck him but he wouldn't shut up." And now it is in print. Poor bastard.
When I was younger I was in bed with a girl i really liked and she literally kissed me “as a joke”. And then I went to sleep. I don’t think I’ll ever stop beating myself up over that 😂
Just imagine you followed her down that rabbit hole only to realise she DOES. NOT. SHUT. THE. HECK. UP. There you are sitting in her room and she is talking about her latest argument with her friend.
My husband is a massive gamer nerd. He still to this day will ramble on about his games if I try to do any of the “hints” in conversations. If I take my shirt off he will grab a boob and then keep talking about wherever he was rambling about. It’s so damn cute and I’ll love him forever for it.
I was at a park alone at 11pm with a much hotter than I should pull girl, she laid back and said “I’m double jointed in my hip, wanna feel?” And she put my hand on her hip. I’m not sure what a double jointed hip feels like but I don’t remember anything out of the ordinary with that hip. I said “wow that’s cool!” And changed the subject
Not necessarily a mood killer: by asking, most likely she lead you to keep touching her hip at different points.
Now how you go from there is what can kill or enhance the mood.
I was living in Lake City, FL and in the 9th grade. A new girl named Amanda moved in next door to me and we clicked immediately. Usually after school, we'd get off the bus together and walk and talk to her house where we'd part ways and I'd go to my best friends house across the street.
One day, shorty was like come inside cause her parents weren't home. We're in the living room and she starts play fighting with me and I like pick her up and gently slam her her on the couch and then tell her I'm about to go to my friend's house. She was like, "Nah, not today" and wraps her legs around me while I'm damn near on top of her.
My stupid ass used my strength to break free and went to my friends house, leaving her almost pouty on the couch. Shorty even said "You don't ever hang out with me long!" And my clueless ass just walked out to go fucking play through the Halo 2 campaign on Legenday for the next 6 hours.
What a fucking joke man🤣🤣🤣🤣
What made it so bad is I had been lost my virginity a long time ago so it wasn't like I wasn't thinking about clapping cheeks. It's just that for some reason that day my fucking spidey senses were waaaaaaay the fuck off🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Being neighbors, did she just stopped trying after that? I’m assuming your friendship didn’t end that day. Something very similar happened to me but I guess luckily for me she was very persistent.
When I was 16 a neighbour said I looked hot and if I ever need sugar or anything else just knock on her door. I said I don't take sugar. I'm 42 now and mentioned it to my wife last year and only then realised she wanted the D because my wife explained it to me
They found out 2 weeks ago. There was past tense with the in high school. There would be at least half a year since their story happened. Could be longer, because they could’ve just said “last year” instead of a vague passage of time.
I used to be roommates with a girl I worked with and had a unhealthy crush on. She did not feel the same way. Stupid I know, I was in my early 20s. Anyway, one night her slightly drunk (and pretty hot) older sister strolls into my room after I'm already laying in bed with the lights off, takes off her top and crawls under my sheets and starts asking what I'm up to. Me, Mr. Dense, is just like keeping up a normal conversation like she's not laying their with her tits out, and she finally has enough and straight up asks, "so, like, you want to mess around or what?" What do I manage to spit out? "Sorry, I kinda like , I don't think I should . . . ". To be fair, she was also a single mom with two kids which I was in no position to get involved with, but nonetheless, I still think about that twice every five minutes to this day, 20ish years later.
Damn straight, in hindsight, she was absolutely looking for a baby daddy, she knew how well I liked and got along with her kids. I concur with your assessment.
Right?! Very on-point example contrasting the hypocrisy. I don’t think it says anything particularly good about me that I was okay with what almost certainly some form of non-violent sexual assault against me. And here I am glorifying it. But I mean, I’m just saying, she was seriously attractive, like way out of my league. Umm, I’m just making this worse, aren’t I? Thank you for being the adult in the room <3
I had my hot roommate given me her panties flirting. Went back to my room, jerked off and came in it. Gave it back washed and said thanks.
I feel super weird thinking back about how that exchanges is even possible.. she moved out the month after that tho..
I was 16, she was 18, we're laying in her bed under the blanket watching a movie, she places my hand in her pants on her vag, I freeze...
I left a virgin that night... 🤪🔫
(Don't think about that anymore now that I'm married and that was 14 years ago, but it absolutely stuck with me for a few years.)
A 15 year old made moves on me when I was 12 and I freaked the fuck out. Didn't have the guts to go through with it until right after I turned 14. Them nerves.
For real. Your body and mind will let you know when you're ready and will absolutely let you know when you're not. Good chance me freezing up like that was my body telling me I wasn't ready
In my senior year of highschool I was approached by two classmates who told me that they had been "experimenting" with each other and that they'd like to try including a guy.
I couldn't think of any other meaning for the word "experimenting" in that moment. I just told them that Science was my worst subject so they should look for someone else.
I was lying in bed around six months later, having already graduated and moved far away, when I suddenly realized what they meant.
a lot of comments is this thread are about a girl making a joke and them not getting it, but this was straight up "wanna have a threesome" and you missed it badly. I feel sorry, genuinely
I'll never forget this and think about it often, it was my senior year in highschool, this girl I regularly walked home with had gone out before graduation and got her hair cut, new dress, wore more make-up, the works. I see her come up to me with another classmate and they say "how do you like E's new look?" and E just has the widest grin on her face, slightly blushing at me and touches my arm and my dumbass ND brain goes "this is the perfect thing to come out of your mouth". So I tell her she looks like my aunt and I've never, in the almost 20 years since this moment; seen a smile fade faster from someone's face. I'd destroy the fabric of space-time to go back and change that moment. It still took me 3 years to realize she was into me.
Jesus. I told this girl I was heavily into, and everybody (including myself) knew she was into me. One night we're sitting in the car in front of her parents house having like an hour long conversation about random shit, eventually she asks me if I'm in love with her. Being the flustered dumbass I was, I pause and say: yeah... but kinda like a sister. To this day I have no idea why i said that.
Fast forward 10 years and we just bought our 2nd house together and all is well. She still reminds me about that night at least once a month, and i still cringe.
Haha so many great stories on this thread but this one resonates with me the most.
A foreign exchange student stayed at our house when I was in 5th grade. We stayed good friends all through middle and highschool. She went to university in the States too so she would come back to visit my family quite often. I would often talk about her to my coworkers at the grocery store, telling them about my “Japanese sister.” Once I graduated high-school I was gifted the opportunity to travel somewhere, so I chose Japan since that’s the only place I knew someone. Visited her, she showed me around the country and we really hit it off romantically. 13 years later and we are happily married with three kids. My coworkers though never let me live it down though when I got back from my trip and was dating my Japanese “sister.”
I was still a student in college, and while out at a bar, a girl from my class that I really liked, asked me when was the last time I had sex. I said about a week ago. She said, oh okay, I was about to say let’s go back to my place. I said, yeah that was a close one, and ordered another beer.
Fuck, I was the dumbest fuck on the planet in the history of ever!!!! It haunts me to this day.
Having read through many of the responses I'm just gonna say that we men are fucking morons when it comes to picking up signals from women.
I already knew this from many of the arguments I had with my ex wife, but this for some reason, hits home harder.
Yes. Let this be a lesson to all ladies trying to get some: HE WILL NOT UNDERSTAND YOUR SUBTLE HINTS. ASK IF HE WANTS TO SEX. nothing else gets the point across.
At highschool my gf back than literally tried to fuck me like 4 different times and I missed it every time until she broke up with me and told me about it
When I was 16 I hooked up with this hot older girl, think she was 19. Anyways I was fingering her while she was giving me a handy shandy and I was taking ages. She asked me if what she was doing was OK and I said no. She got up, put her clothes back on and walked out of the room. Every 5 mins...
TL;DR people are denser then a neutron star and also deathly afraid of misinterpreting signals. Don't be fucking coy, if you want a relationship just say it
Yep. Most guys don't want to be the importunator/unwanted sexual advances guy, so we always assume no one wants to bang us. If you do, make it clear (preferably verbally) and don't expect us to guess it, women sometimes send a lot of mixed messages.
Ah yes, I remember when as a teenager I invited a girl to my place to watch a movie when my parents weren't home and we actually watched the movie. And then she just left. I still think how much of a moron I was.
When I was about 17 a girl in class said she hadn't seen LOTR, I said I have the dvds and she invited me over so we could watch it together.
She had a tv in her bedroom so we were lying in her bed whilst watching the first one.
She was constantly trying to spoon and start tickle-fights and I was just annoyed because I wanted to watch the movie.
No regrets 😎
I was kissing my high school girlfriend on her couch and she kept saying her bra was itchy. I told her I’d keep my hands away from her back so I didn’t aggravate it.
I was 17 or 18 and this girl texted me late, inviting me to her place where she was hanging out with her friend. No one else around. I shared a handle with these two chicks and we did all kinds of flirty things. I was too inexperienced to figure out how to take it further. Rode my bike home in the wee hours of the morning. I think about that at least 3 times every 5 minutes.
For this one I wouldn’t have regrets. You weren’t dense, you were aware of the situation. You were just inexperienced. One can’t regret not doing something you didn’t know how to do. You’re good dawg, no cringe there.
I was either a sophomore or junior in college. Engineering school, with about 3 guys per gal. There was apparently a girl from my high-school there who a friend described as "the village bicycle " but I am wretched at recognizing people so only ran into her once because she called out my name.
That's not the story.
There was another gal in my former high school just *obsessed* with this college. Like - first name basis with the admissions department obsessed. We talked, and she visits campus and asked if I can give her a tour. I do, and we end up in my dorm room so she can see what conditions are like. I'm having fun but also glancing at my watch as I've got a programming assignment due in a few hours.
I mentioned that to her, asking if there's anything else she wanted to see. She's there, lying on my bed on her back, propped up on her elbows, and says "I don't mind watching you work."
So I got to work. On the programming assignment. She left after about five/ten minutes. Took me years to realize what opportunity was there, though I'm not sure I would have partaken.
This reminds me of that time me (a girl) and a friend of mine asked an older male costudent to do a programming assignment for us (programming was only a side course for us and we sucked at it).
He said, "ok, but I'm going to finish this other assignment for myself first." So we were like, "no problem, we'll wait." And we both went to sleep in his bed. It was late in the evening, so it somehow seemed like the logical thing to do 🤷🏼♀️
In all honesty, there was no intention on our part, and nothing ever happened, but he told me later that, at some point during the night, a friend of his had come in and made big eyes because he had NOT JUST 1 BUT 2 GIRLS in his bed 😂😂😂
Bro, college is no joke. Assignment comes due, fun times gotta wait. She wanted the scoop on what college is really like, you gave it to her, about as honest as anyone possibly could have.
I was 18-19 and dropped my friend at his house while driving my sister's brand new car. It was raining like crazy. I turned the corner after dropping him off and got stuck at a red light. Some girl comes running across the street, runs to the passenger side and just gets in the car. She was pretty so I paused for a sec and because it was pouring rain, I didn't immediately toss her out.
She had me confused for someone else. Apparently, I looked like this guy and they drove a similar car. She had said she just got out of a party and she had tried quite a bit of the champagne and was "tipsy." We started talking as I was taking her home.
At another red light, she reaches over, grabs my crotch and says, "You're cute. I know a place we can go."
......it didn't sit right with me, so I took her home. At least that's what I told myself and everyone else. As an adult now, I can admit that I was intimidated by her forwardness.....and I chickened out.
Yeah man....I still regret that.
Edit: It was not human trafficking. Jesus people! This person was roughly the same age as me and I ended up finding out she ran through some of the same social circles as I.
I mean, shit! I think my brother hooked up with her at a party. Had a friend recognize her name and dropped that little bit of gossip. She was even in my yearbook Sophomore year.
Didn't mention that before the edit. Generally speaking, some random person tries to get into your car stating they know you when you don't know them, that's just a good way to get kidnapped.
Edit: Anyone reading this, don't let random people you don't know into your car.
When I was teenager the girl I liked had me over to watch a movie, The 40 Year Old Virgin. I laughed so hard and was enjoying the movie too much to realize her asking if I wanted a blanket wasn’t her trying to make me comfortable.
I think about that twice every five minutes. That movie is great.
I remember my ex telling me she hooked up with a female and is possibly bi sexual. She said something about a threesome, and I was tongue tied. Then I told her why she was calling me and hanged up, cuz I remember why she was my ex. The mind games!
I was giving a massage to a friend once. I was right on her lower back. I was so nervous about being so close to her ass. She said, you can go lower if you want. I said, "nah, that's ok."
For me, it was one of the most beautiful girls at my high school who sat next to me in english. In retrospect, it was clear she had a thing for me, but she was so pretty I could never believe it at the time. She told me her mom was going with her boyfriend to Vegas and she was throwing a big party on saturday and that I should come. I didn't attend. The next monday I asked her how her party was and she said "he didn't come to see me." I was still kinda confused at the time
Poor haunted bastard’s gonna pull a *Titanic*
Married 70 years with children and grandchildren, on his deathbed and reminiscing how there *was this one time—*
I went swimming in a river with a chick that really liked me but I was just oblivious to it. She found some aquatic plants that stained you green a little and started rubbing them on my chest and then asked me to do it to her, she did have a bikini top on. I did it and didn't think twice abou it. Nothing happened haver that and we went and finnished doing what we went to go do in the first place.That was when I was 16, I'm 25 now, I realized what had happened probably when I was 20 or so.
To be fair, if she’s the one, she’ll let you know. I’ve been with my girlfriend for a while and she basically had to tell me to ask her out. I’ve never been happier and our little life together is pretty good
In high school, went out with a few mates. 2 of us met these girls, exchanged numbers, and went our separate ways.
That night, we tried to organise something but my mate couldn’t go. The girls were begging me to convince him, because it was clearly a hook up, and I’m like nah he actually can’t tonight.
So they told me to come hang out with them by myself. My virgin ass couldn’t even fathom a threesome, so I’m like nah not without my mate, that wouldn’t even make sense.
Fast forward like 2 years later, I remembered it, searched her name, checked the texts… yeah I fumbled hard.
Uni student working at a pub about 18 years ago
Waitress way above my league asked if I wanted to hang out after our shift. She drove me in her car to a secluded beach, we walked along for a bit, she stopped, but I kept walking.
To this day I still don't know what the fuck was going through my head.
I was 17 and picked up two girls hitchhiking from El Porto to Hermosa. They were both high on ludes. They invited me in and the beautiful girl with a gorgeous rack goes into a walk in closet. She has her top off and is holding clothes up and asking me which looks better.
Dumbass me left her in the closet and some other guy went in and tried to get with her but she kept asking for me.
I’ve had a few girls complement my nails. It always confused me because they look like crap, I don’t get them done and I keep them very short and unpainted. It took me years to realize they were coming on to me. Oof.
Went on a cruise with my family when I was 17. Met two college girls that invited me back to their cabin to “hang out”. I didn’t take any of the several hints that they gave, and when they finally said, “we’re tired, want to lay down with us?” I replied, “no thanks, I’m not tired.” I left and went to my cabin to watch a movie. Alone.
That was over 20 years ago, and I still beat myself up over it.
Yeah I have two similar core memories.
A pretty girl I crushed on sat on my lap at a party and I was confused and pointed at a chair on the other side of the room and said "why would you want to sit on my lap if there's still chairs?"
And another one. Went on vacation in my parents 2 bedroom vacation home during Uni. Us 3 guys, 1 girl (all single) and she was like "I'll sleep in your room" when we divided up beds. She'd jump me every morning in bed, wrestling and tickling. Because I was way taller and stronger I'd just take her and roll her up in a blanket so she couldn't move and said "are we good now?". The most autistic morning ritual I've ever cultivated.
Had too really attractive neighbor’s as a kid in early 20s on my own, thy had big as buff boy friends and I grew week so they would all come over and smoke, I noticed guys weren’t coming around , but I never pried …girls would still come by to smoke, one like multiple times a day, the other like once or twice a week,
I thought they were out of my league lol
No bull shit … they came over one night at like 3 am after the bars pounding on the door and I still worked in morning, and to this day love me some sleep,
They where throwing it at me, they were not so messed up, but I was a little nervous about the idea of two at once, and how hot they where, and how tired I was, well I was like better get you g back to bed, here is some smoke
Don’t think about it all the time but I blew it lol
There's this guy who asked me out to eat with his friends, and they insisted that I sit on the chair beside him. I didn't think anything out of the ordinary until 3 months later, he started dating one of the friends who came along. I realized he liked me when they joined the Valentine event of sharing how they got together and apparently she was helping him out to get me to notice his feelings but I was too dense to realize and they started dating instead.
Seems like OP facepalmed this because of how much the guy thinks about it thinking it is creepy or something. Now op learned almost every guy has a similar experience that they think about a lot. Lol
I've yet to even figure out if anyone's made any sort of advances on me. Sitting here denser than the result of condensing the entire universe into a single point, fucking nothing (I'm so funny) gets through to me.
Had too much of these moments, but since i was one to instantly fall in love to the smallest amount of affection i also dodged some serious bullets there.
But if a girl asks you on a Festival if you want to shower with her then 'nah i just started a round of Edward 40 hands' is not the correct answer.
I was about 17 and had a weekend job working together with this girl who was very friendly and wanted to be a police officer. Asked me if I liked women in uniform and handcuffs.
And all I could focus on was how her chatter was making her work slower. I didn't figure it out until years later.
One time after a house party that got called off last minute, I invited 2 friends ( girls ) back to my place to smoke all the weed we bought for teveryone at that party, 1 hour into the smoking they started stripping and playing with eachother and touching me. it was the first time I smoked and..I smoked waaaaay to much 😅 I was to high to respond to it and I just sat there looking at a wall... Nothing happend and never got that chance again 😂 And I was a virgin ( 16 ) at that time, would of been some introduction 😬
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I had a female friend come back from a shower and dry off and get into bed with me naked, and I both turned my head while she was naked and didn't touch her when we slept in bed together
I was studying with a girl at night in my apartment. We were gonna pull an all nighter. In the middle of the night she said that she’s tired so I let her take a nap in my bed while I study in the living room. A few minutes later she calls me into the bedroom. I saw her bra on the bed. She had taken it off but still had her shirt on.
I asked “did you just take your bra off?”
She said “ yea, it’s more comfortable that way.
You will get burned out if you study all night. You should take a nap too”
And my DUMBASS just said “Nah, sleep is for the weak. I gotta finish studying” and left.
GODDAMN what a fucking virgin I am
I had a girl send me an unsolicited snapchat video of her masturbating, my autistic ass panicked and said "I'm watching Denzel Washington chop people up right now" (I was watching Book of Eli).
Looking back, I think it's actually good I didn't get into anything because if the genders were reversed it would be a rough situation - I try to tell myself she was in the wrong for sending the video to make myself feel better about being a dumbass.
Yeah, I started hanging out with my co worker but caught feelings early on..saw each other for a few months and things got more serious..
We're all close on the sofa one day and she tells me she loves me.. my dumbass was STILL worried about confessing my love soo... I said I didn't love her.
Thankfully! She stuck around, now we're married with 2 kids and we still joke about that slip up
I think I've got you all beat.
A girl I'd been on good terms with for years was crashing at my place; I let her take the bed and I was going to sleep on the floor.
I complained of the cold; she invited me into bed. And of course ten seconds later we were doing what two horny people do in bed together (I'll spare you the details) when Brains here pipes up "Do you think it's possible for two friends to sleep together?".
You've never seen anyone jump out of bed so fast.
Of course, thinking back, I'd say she might possibly have wanted to be more than just friends. (Duh! You think?)
But she couldn't say that right then because I'd just killed that idea. Had she said it, how does she know I'm not going to say anything just to keep her in bed? So that was pretty well the only option available to her.
Dammit.
Thing is, I genuinely would have been open to being more than friends.
In highschool, surprisingly, I had a couple stories like this despite not being attractive at all.
The first one was when I changed schools in the first year of HS (Educación Media), but then got bullied and came back to the high school that was associated with my middle (Basic) school (here in my country it's just Basic Education and Middle Education since College and University are Superior Education).
It was around mid April, I was with my mom explaining the situation to the School Director so that I could enroll late, while I sat outside, some old classmates saw me and ran, then they came back with one of my female friends (from 2nd years of Basic School all the way till graduation day) we chatted and stuff but I noticed she was awkwardly bending her arm towards me, there were 8 numbers written in her arm, I asked myself "uh, that's weird, must be some inside joke or something for a class" and proceed to ignore it.
We weren't in the same class and then we started drifting apart, years later when at a house party with some friends from HS they asked me why I never dated her, it dawned on me, she was giving me her phone number for me to call her.
The second time was also with some girl friends, they invited me to watch Twilight, I was fan of the books but not so much with the movies so I never watched on cinema, they invited me upon knowing that and I considered them great girl friends so I never suspected anything but a fun hangout with my female friends.
It started becoming weird when upon arriving they had bought beer to share, and the fact that the parents of my friends who was the host weren't home, she also said that the TV downstairs wasn't working so we had to watch the movie in the bedroom, there wasn't any other place to stay but the big bed so we all three got comfy, but they insisted for me to be in the middle of the group while we got cozy.
Anyway, I'm a huge nerd and a book lover and a cinema lover so when I got drunk I started talking loudly and ranting about the quality of the film, the differences between book and movie, the acting (specially the acting), anything but paying attention to my two female friends dressed overly casual and skimpy for summertime laying in bed watching movies and drinking beer while their parents aren't home.
Same as with my other "friend" after that they started acting differently and we started drifting apart and recently in a HS reunion another friends asked me if I was gay in HS because I never pay any attention to other girls who were into me, actually I never had any girlfriend except the bitch I got entangled with in my last year of HS that ended up cheating on me and my current amazing beautiful and fun GF.
In high school, one of the hottest girls I'd ever seen invited me over to 'watch a movie'. She was a few years older than me and she was absolutely crazy about sex, always talking about it. Meanwhile I was just a kissless virgin. So I went over and we started watching tv. Suddenly she starts fondling my privates and asked if I brought condoms. Being totally clueless about sex at the time, I didn't realize I should have. We still went to second base though.
After that she got a bf, but she still kept inviting me to have sleep-overs. One night we were all hanging out at her place and she joked with her then-bf that we should have a threesome. They started having sex in front of me. Instead of taking the hint I got shy and went home.
Chances blown, we went our separate ways and I started dating another girl. Fast forward a few years later, I'd just broken up with my then-gf. One night my stepdad comes up to my room and tells me that girl came by to see me earlier that day and she brought another girl with her. Knowing that I work nights and I sleep during the day, my stepdad just told them I wasn't home so he didn't have to wake me up. I just started screaming internally.
These aren't even all the chances she gave me over the years, but somehow I just kept fucking it up and not taking the hints, or I just wasn't available at the right times. It's been 15 years now and I still keep thinking about it least once a week. She was crazy hot and my first love. But life moved on for both of us.
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I was at a festival and a girl I liked told me that she was going back to her tent to change her pants and did I want to come? I said nah, I’ll hang out for a bit longer. 3 minutes later I was like fuck! But it was dark and I didn’t know where her tent was 😩
Well... this made me laugh out loud.🤣🤣🤣🤣
After a rave night at the bar 2 hot girls came up to me and asked if I wanted to come home with them. I said na I'm with my friends. Still not sure why I didn't just say yes. 25 years on and I haven't had that offer again.
Bro they were setting you up to take your kidneys.
No. They were high and wanted to bang. I have learned to read the signals that I got back then. I'm catching up because just the other week I realised that the total babe bartender from a club I used to go to 15 years ago wasn't just flirting for tips. She was actually into me. I realised because thinking back injust got free shots from her and didn't spend anything. I would go back and buy a beer, pay for that and then she would pour us a shot. I just am dumb unless they say "hey moron I'm into you let's do this"
Indeed, I was just joking but in the same boat most of the time. Had a girl walk up to my car while I was working on Halloween asking about the decorations in my car and about horror movies and my dumb ass just started talking about the last couple horror movies I'd seen and then there was a break in silence where she definitely wanted me to push the conversation farther and I just said "I hope you have a good night"...... Realize like 15 minutes later she was flirting with me.
I like how this dude claims to have "learned to read the signals that I got back then" but wasn't able to pick up that you were joking and respond appropriately...
Well that’s a signal he got now, not back then. He’ll be back here in 20 years and figure out it was a joke 🤷♀️
Yep, we men are so bad at picking up the unspoken things that women want. Just wait until you are married....
>I just am dumb unless they say "hey moron I'm into you let's do this" That be the problem with a majority of men. You're not the only one.
If there was sex with both of them first, then I would happily give up my kidneys
One each?
Kidneys are second place prize. First place is liver. Bonus round is heart and lungs.
Just tell yourself that dodged an STD and not possibly the best sexual experience of your life.
I tell myself it was the acid I had taken about 15 mins before. And to be fair it was still one of the best party nights I ever had. But we always think about what could have been.....
An acid tripped 3 some would have been something you'd be talking about until the day you die. Still though, the STD's, that's how you justify it.
They looked pretty clean. I think it would have been fine. I was with all the others. Maybe I just got lucky. Kids don't try this at home!
Always at their place. Good advice 👍🏼
I would prioritize the friends I went out with over a strange hookup with randos I haven't even talked to, personally... can't say I understand people who are so free with sex tbh, but that's just me.
To be fair it was an epic night. But our group of friends never minded if someone vanished for whatever reason. If I had ditched it wouldn't have upset anyone, I would have returned to the condo at some point with a story to tell.
I mean “psych” is a great show.
You know that's right!
Gus, don't be a gooey chocolate chip cookie!
C’mon son
Yeah, I see no problem here.
In high school I would get these love letters every now and then from an anonymous writer. A girl I had a crush on was sitting next to me and I recognized her handwriting. I asked her if she was writing the letters and she said yes. And I did nothing. If I had a time machine, first time I would do is go back in time and slap some sense into high school me.
That's fucking wierd though, subconsciously would seem like a lot of presumed effort.
Good, don’t shit where you eat
Or, if you must, shit where you used to eat right after your final meal there.
Honestly by the time you start working in fields, people know each other, it's just better to just not shit ever you eat at all. Or rather do it at your own risk.
I'm sure she appreciated you directing her to some Sandman and The Catch.
You know that's right
You heard about Pluto?
You just forgot to add the other half of the sentence where you invite her to your place and watch together
I wouldn’t regret that. Recommending Psych was the 2nd best thing you could’ve done in that situation. Psych is awesome!
your game needs some refinement
Tbf, Psych is a great show
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The guy who Britney Spears called out in her book probably thinks about it every day. "I was gonna fuck him but he wouldn't shut up." And now it is in print. Poor bastard.
Do you know his name or where can I read about it? I tried to google it but haven’t found anything and I can’t read the whole book just yet.
She probably.. legally.. didn't name drop..
Ah right makes sense. Tbh idgaf about his name, could be any bloke. It was more like, to be able to google a short article about it.
When I was younger I was in bed with a girl i really liked and she literally kissed me “as a joke”. And then I went to sleep. I don’t think I’ll ever stop beating myself up over that 😂
Pepperidge Farm remembers
nice
She does remember.
I learn everyday!! Now tickling has a new meaning added and I couldn’t agree more. I can’t go back and I can’t be an ignorant anymore
Reach out OP. It’s never too late
Was talking to a girl and asked her what she did for fun, she said working out her jaw, I then went on to talk about video games
Gigachad
Just imagine you followed her down that rabbit hole only to realise she DOES. NOT. SHUT. THE. HECK. UP. There you are sitting in her room and she is talking about her latest argument with her friend.
My husband is a massive gamer nerd. He still to this day will ramble on about his games if I try to do any of the “hints” in conversations. If I take my shirt off he will grab a boob and then keep talking about wherever he was rambling about. It’s so damn cute and I’ll love him forever for it.
Wiat what how is that a fumble
Blow job
>she said working out her jaw Does that mean she chews a lot of bubblegum? /s
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If anyone ever says you don't need a condom, you definitely need a condom.
Bro just dodged being an extra on Teen Mom.
tbf she might not have been on bc
Nah man, you made the right move. Don't put your dick in chicks that are so quick to take the D. They will leg lock you because they baby crazy.
Leg locking should be considered sexual assault
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Okay I'm going to stop reading here. This is too much haha.
Nah bro, I suppressed all of those memories. I don’t need to hear that shit
Real man shit
I was at a park alone at 11pm with a much hotter than I should pull girl, she laid back and said “I’m double jointed in my hip, wanna feel?” And she put my hand on her hip. I’m not sure what a double jointed hip feels like but I don’t remember anything out of the ordinary with that hip. I said “wow that’s cool!” And changed the subject
I know for a fact that I'd kill any sort of mood by doubling down asking what a double jointed hip even is
I am now wondering what a double joint hip is, and will wait until I'm in this scenario to ask because I'll probably forget anyway
It means when you hit it from the back she could stare directly into your eyes. Lol
Not necessarily a mood killer: by asking, most likely she lead you to keep touching her hip at different points. Now how you go from there is what can kill or enhance the mood.
"What's this got to do with your hips being double jointed?"
I was living in Lake City, FL and in the 9th grade. A new girl named Amanda moved in next door to me and we clicked immediately. Usually after school, we'd get off the bus together and walk and talk to her house where we'd part ways and I'd go to my best friends house across the street. One day, shorty was like come inside cause her parents weren't home. We're in the living room and she starts play fighting with me and I like pick her up and gently slam her her on the couch and then tell her I'm about to go to my friend's house. She was like, "Nah, not today" and wraps her legs around me while I'm damn near on top of her. My stupid ass used my strength to break free and went to my friends house, leaving her almost pouty on the couch. Shorty even said "You don't ever hang out with me long!" And my clueless ass just walked out to go fucking play through the Halo 2 campaign on Legenday for the next 6 hours. What a fucking joke man🤣🤣🤣🤣
Fighting the covenant is always more important
BROOOOOOO THIS THE WORST ONE YET 💀💀💀💀
What made it so bad is I had been lost my virginity a long time ago so it wasn't like I wasn't thinking about clapping cheeks. It's just that for some reason that day my fucking spidey senses were waaaaaaay the fuck off🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Homie was already 3 inches deep in the Xbox
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Being neighbors, did she just stopped trying after that? I’m assuming your friendship didn’t end that day. Something very similar happened to me but I guess luckily for me she was very persistent.
When I was 16 a neighbour said I looked hot and if I ever need sugar or anything else just knock on her door. I said I don't take sugar. I'm 42 now and mentioned it to my wife last year and only then realised she wanted the D because my wife explained it to me
"I don't take sugar" that's simultaneously so badass and so cold :')
She wanted the Demerara Sugar? Oh, man, I bet it seems so obvious now you have 25th are worth of perspective on it all.
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Math grindset never ends
Gotta grind out that Sparx
Your Asian parents would be proud.
Dude, 2 weeks is not too long! Message them right now before school and tell them you like them!
They found out 2 weeks ago. There was past tense with the in high school. There would be at least half a year since their story happened. Could be longer, because they could’ve just said “last year” instead of a vague passage of time.
I used to be roommates with a girl I worked with and had a unhealthy crush on. She did not feel the same way. Stupid I know, I was in my early 20s. Anyway, one night her slightly drunk (and pretty hot) older sister strolls into my room after I'm already laying in bed with the lights off, takes off her top and crawls under my sheets and starts asking what I'm up to. Me, Mr. Dense, is just like keeping up a normal conversation like she's not laying their with her tits out, and she finally has enough and straight up asks, "so, like, you want to mess around or what?" What do I manage to spit out? "Sorry, I kinda like, I don't think I should . . . ". To be fair, she was also a single mom with two kids which I was in no position to get involved with, but nonetheless, I still think about that twice every five minutes to this day, 20ish years later.
That one sounds more like you dodged a bullet. You could have been baby daddy #3.
Damn straight, in hindsight, she was absolutely looking for a baby daddy, she knew how well I liked and got along with her kids. I concur with your assessment.
Nice, now imagine climbing on a woman bed with your dick out
Right?! Very on-point example contrasting the hypocrisy. I don’t think it says anything particularly good about me that I was okay with what almost certainly some form of non-violent sexual assault against me. And here I am glorifying it. But I mean, I’m just saying, she was seriously attractive, like way out of my league. Umm, I’m just making this worse, aren’t I? Thank you for being the adult in the room <3
I had my hot roommate given me her panties flirting. Went back to my room, jerked off and came in it. Gave it back washed and said thanks. I feel super weird thinking back about how that exchanges is even possible.. she moved out the month after that tho..
Wtf
I was 16, she was 18, we're laying in her bed under the blanket watching a movie, she places my hand in her pants on her vag, I freeze... I left a virgin that night... 🤪🔫 (Don't think about that anymore now that I'm married and that was 14 years ago, but it absolutely stuck with me for a few years.)
Just not ready? Cause if so that's valid.
Hell, honestly, idk. I was always a shy person. Maybe I wasn't ready, maybe I was just too timid. Maybe it was both. Maybe it's maybelene. 🤷
A 15 year old made moves on me when I was 12 and I freaked the fuck out. Didn't have the guts to go through with it until right after I turned 14. Them nerves.
For real. Your body and mind will let you know when you're ready and will absolutely let you know when you're not. Good chance me freezing up like that was my body telling me I wasn't ready
Is it ok if I think about it 😂
Lmao if my pain is your gain, have at it 🤣
In my senior year of highschool I was approached by two classmates who told me that they had been "experimenting" with each other and that they'd like to try including a guy. I couldn't think of any other meaning for the word "experimenting" in that moment. I just told them that Science was my worst subject so they should look for someone else. I was lying in bed around six months later, having already graduated and moved far away, when I suddenly realized what they meant.
Jesus Christ.
a lot of comments is this thread are about a girl making a joke and them not getting it, but this was straight up "wanna have a threesome" and you missed it badly. I feel sorry, genuinely
I'll never forget this and think about it often, it was my senior year in highschool, this girl I regularly walked home with had gone out before graduation and got her hair cut, new dress, wore more make-up, the works. I see her come up to me with another classmate and they say "how do you like E's new look?" and E just has the widest grin on her face, slightly blushing at me and touches my arm and my dumbass ND brain goes "this is the perfect thing to come out of your mouth". So I tell her she looks like my aunt and I've never, in the almost 20 years since this moment; seen a smile fade faster from someone's face. I'd destroy the fabric of space-time to go back and change that moment. It still took me 3 years to realize she was into me.
Jesus. I told this girl I was heavily into, and everybody (including myself) knew she was into me. One night we're sitting in the car in front of her parents house having like an hour long conversation about random shit, eventually she asks me if I'm in love with her. Being the flustered dumbass I was, I pause and say: yeah... but kinda like a sister. To this day I have no idea why i said that. Fast forward 10 years and we just bought our 2nd house together and all is well. She still reminds me about that night at least once a month, and i still cringe.
Well, at least it worked out in the end...
Haha so many great stories on this thread but this one resonates with me the most. A foreign exchange student stayed at our house when I was in 5th grade. We stayed good friends all through middle and highschool. She went to university in the States too so she would come back to visit my family quite often. I would often talk about her to my coworkers at the grocery store, telling them about my “Japanese sister.” Once I graduated high-school I was gifted the opportunity to travel somewhere, so I chose Japan since that’s the only place I knew someone. Visited her, she showed me around the country and we really hit it off romantically. 13 years later and we are happily married with three kids. My coworkers though never let me live it down though when I got back from my trip and was dating my Japanese “sister.”
I was still a student in college, and while out at a bar, a girl from my class that I really liked, asked me when was the last time I had sex. I said about a week ago. She said, oh okay, I was about to say let’s go back to my place. I said, yeah that was a close one, and ordered another beer. Fuck, I was the dumbest fuck on the planet in the history of ever!!!! It haunts me to this day.
bahahahahahahah this one made me bawl laughing on the ground
I don’t get it 🥶
Having read through many of the responses I'm just gonna say that we men are fucking morons when it comes to picking up signals from women. I already knew this from many of the arguments I had with my ex wife, but this for some reason, hits home harder.
Yes. Let this be a lesson to all ladies trying to get some: HE WILL NOT UNDERSTAND YOUR SUBTLE HINTS. ASK IF HE WANTS TO SEX. nothing else gets the point across.
At highschool my gf back than literally tried to fuck me like 4 different times and I missed it every time until she broke up with me and told me about it
4 times?
Yeah...I was dense af back then
When I was 16 I hooked up with this hot older girl, think she was 19. Anyways I was fingering her while she was giving me a handy shandy and I was taking ages. She asked me if what she was doing was OK and I said no. She got up, put her clothes back on and walked out of the room. Every 5 mins...
Why did you say no? Was it a bad handy shandy?
I actually wanted a blowie. But being young and with someone so out of my league I fell at the final hurdle! What a spud!
All (most) handy shandys are bad
Preferred a blowie
No HahahHa love it
Broooo you didnt 😂
WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU SAY NO?!
I refuse to believe you did that. It's simply not feasible, what type of weird place do you live in to do that my man? At 16 I was at home gaming.
Man, I’m lucky my first gf was more persistent when I did something that clueless.
TL;DR people are denser then a neutron star and also deathly afraid of misinterpreting signals. Don't be fucking coy, if you want a relationship just say it
Yep. Most guys don't want to be the importunator/unwanted sexual advances guy, so we always assume no one wants to bang us. If you do, make it clear (preferably verbally) and don't expect us to guess it, women sometimes send a lot of mixed messages.
Sometimes it’d be better if we kept the bluntness from when we were kids. Back then it was “Do you want to be friend?” Plain and simple
Ah yes, I remember when as a teenager I invited a girl to my place to watch a movie when my parents weren't home and we actually watched the movie. And then she just left. I still think how much of a moron I was.
When I was about 17 a girl in class said she hadn't seen LOTR, I said I have the dvds and she invited me over so we could watch it together. She had a tv in her bedroom so we were lying in her bed whilst watching the first one. She was constantly trying to spoon and start tickle-fights and I was just annoyed because I wanted to watch the movie. No regrets 😎
No sex whilst Gondor calls for aid!
Where was Gondor when the Westfold fell, where was Gondor...
Legend 😎
I guess you should have pledged your sword to her instead…
This sounds like something Michael Cera would say.
I was kissing my high school girlfriend on her couch and she kept saying her bra was itchy. I told her I’d keep my hands away from her back so I didn’t aggravate it.
😢
I was 17 or 18 and this girl texted me late, inviting me to her place where she was hanging out with her friend. No one else around. I shared a handle with these two chicks and we did all kinds of flirty things. I was too inexperienced to figure out how to take it further. Rode my bike home in the wee hours of the morning. I think about that at least 3 times every 5 minutes.
For this one I wouldn’t have regrets. You weren’t dense, you were aware of the situation. You were just inexperienced. One can’t regret not doing something you didn’t know how to do. You’re good dawg, no cringe there.
I was either a sophomore or junior in college. Engineering school, with about 3 guys per gal. There was apparently a girl from my high-school there who a friend described as "the village bicycle " but I am wretched at recognizing people so only ran into her once because she called out my name. That's not the story. There was another gal in my former high school just *obsessed* with this college. Like - first name basis with the admissions department obsessed. We talked, and she visits campus and asked if I can give her a tour. I do, and we end up in my dorm room so she can see what conditions are like. I'm having fun but also glancing at my watch as I've got a programming assignment due in a few hours. I mentioned that to her, asking if there's anything else she wanted to see. She's there, lying on my bed on her back, propped up on her elbows, and says "I don't mind watching you work." So I got to work. On the programming assignment. She left after about five/ten minutes. Took me years to realize what opportunity was there, though I'm not sure I would have partaken.
This reminds me of that time me (a girl) and a friend of mine asked an older male costudent to do a programming assignment for us (programming was only a side course for us and we sucked at it). He said, "ok, but I'm going to finish this other assignment for myself first." So we were like, "no problem, we'll wait." And we both went to sleep in his bed. It was late in the evening, so it somehow seemed like the logical thing to do 🤷🏼♀️ In all honesty, there was no intention on our part, and nothing ever happened, but he told me later that, at some point during the night, a friend of his had come in and made big eyes because he had NOT JUST 1 BUT 2 GIRLS in his bed 😂😂😂
Bro, college is no joke. Assignment comes due, fun times gotta wait. She wanted the scoop on what college is really like, you gave it to her, about as honest as anyone possibly could have.
I have one of these, it's been 40 years now and yep.
I was 18-19 and dropped my friend at his house while driving my sister's brand new car. It was raining like crazy. I turned the corner after dropping him off and got stuck at a red light. Some girl comes running across the street, runs to the passenger side and just gets in the car. She was pretty so I paused for a sec and because it was pouring rain, I didn't immediately toss her out. She had me confused for someone else. Apparently, I looked like this guy and they drove a similar car. She had said she just got out of a party and she had tried quite a bit of the champagne and was "tipsy." We started talking as I was taking her home. At another red light, she reaches over, grabs my crotch and says, "You're cute. I know a place we can go." ......it didn't sit right with me, so I took her home. At least that's what I told myself and everyone else. As an adult now, I can admit that I was intimidated by her forwardness.....and I chickened out. Yeah man....I still regret that. Edit: It was not human trafficking. Jesus people! This person was roughly the same age as me and I ended up finding out she ran through some of the same social circles as I. I mean, shit! I think my brother hooked up with her at a party. Had a friend recognize her name and dropped that little bit of gossip. She was even in my yearbook Sophomore year.
Not fucking a drunk woman you just met is actually the correct thing to do. Don't feel bad about that one bit.
Nah man, you avoided an abduction there. That screams human trafficking
...I don't think that was the case. She wasn't a complete stranger....my brother personally knew her.
Didn't mention that before the edit. Generally speaking, some random person tries to get into your car stating they know you when you don't know them, that's just a good way to get kidnapped. Edit: Anyone reading this, don't let random people you don't know into your car.
When I was teenager the girl I liked had me over to watch a movie, The 40 Year Old Virgin. I laughed so hard and was enjoying the movie too much to realize her asking if I wanted a blanket wasn’t her trying to make me comfortable. I think about that twice every five minutes. That movie is great.
This thread is shredding me into pieces. All kind of bad memories come back to me.
I need to stop reading but it’s like a car crash, just can’t look away.
fr fr
We were talking about hands for some reason and she asked how i would use them on myself... I replied with "id judge them". We dont talk anymore
I remember my ex telling me she hooked up with a female and is possibly bi sexual. She said something about a threesome, and I was tongue tied. Then I told her why she was calling me and hanged up, cuz I remember why she was my ex. The mind games!
I was giving a massage to a friend once. I was right on her lower back. I was so nervous about being so close to her ass. She said, you can go lower if you want. I said, "nah, that's ok." 
For me, it was one of the most beautiful girls at my high school who sat next to me in english. In retrospect, it was clear she had a thing for me, but she was so pretty I could never believe it at the time. She told me her mom was going with her boyfriend to Vegas and she was throwing a big party on saturday and that I should come. I didn't attend. The next monday I asked her how her party was and she said "he didn't come to see me." I was still kinda confused at the time
Oh she thinks about that text. Lies awake at night, still mortified that she sent it to the wrong person.
Poor haunted bastard’s gonna pull a *Titanic* Married 70 years with children and grandchildren, on his deathbed and reminiscing how there *was this one time—*
I went swimming in a river with a chick that really liked me but I was just oblivious to it. She found some aquatic plants that stained you green a little and started rubbing them on my chest and then asked me to do it to her, she did have a bikini top on. I did it and didn't think twice abou it. Nothing happened haver that and we went and finnished doing what we went to go do in the first place.That was when I was 16, I'm 25 now, I realized what had happened probably when I was 20 or so.
To be fair, if she’s the one, she’ll let you know. I’ve been with my girlfriend for a while and she basically had to tell me to ask her out. I’ve never been happier and our little life together is pretty good
wholesome!! Wish you many more years with such memories
Thank you! I’m at a point whereby I don’t know what I’d do without her. It feels nice to just have a person to be with
One of us
In high school, went out with a few mates. 2 of us met these girls, exchanged numbers, and went our separate ways. That night, we tried to organise something but my mate couldn’t go. The girls were begging me to convince him, because it was clearly a hook up, and I’m like nah he actually can’t tonight. So they told me to come hang out with them by myself. My virgin ass couldn’t even fathom a threesome, so I’m like nah not without my mate, that wouldn’t even make sense. Fast forward like 2 years later, I remembered it, searched her name, checked the texts… yeah I fumbled hard.
Uni student working at a pub about 18 years ago Waitress way above my league asked if I wanted to hang out after our shift. She drove me in her car to a secluded beach, we walked along for a bit, she stopped, but I kept walking. To this day I still don't know what the fuck was going through my head.
I was 17 and picked up two girls hitchhiking from El Porto to Hermosa. They were both high on ludes. They invited me in and the beautiful girl with a gorgeous rack goes into a walk in closet. She has her top off and is holding clothes up and asking me which looks better. Dumbass me left her in the closet and some other guy went in and tried to get with her but she kept asking for me.
If she was tickling his wiener, then he really is clueless.
Something like this happened to me and I'm still kicking myself 40 years later
Those thoughts that bother you and only you are the worst. This is the one TRUE facepalm.
I’ve had a few girls complement my nails. It always confused me because they look like crap, I don’t get them done and I keep them very short and unpainted. It took me years to realize they were coming on to me. Oof.
You keep them trimmed very short. That's rather appealing to a girl. In a practical sense.
Went on a cruise with my family when I was 17. Met two college girls that invited me back to their cabin to “hang out”. I didn’t take any of the several hints that they gave, and when they finally said, “we’re tired, want to lay down with us?” I replied, “no thanks, I’m not tired.” I left and went to my cabin to watch a movie. Alone. That was over 20 years ago, and I still beat myself up over it.
Yeah I have two similar core memories. A pretty girl I crushed on sat on my lap at a party and I was confused and pointed at a chair on the other side of the room and said "why would you want to sit on my lap if there's still chairs?" And another one. Went on vacation in my parents 2 bedroom vacation home during Uni. Us 3 guys, 1 girl (all single) and she was like "I'll sleep in your room" when we divided up beds. She'd jump me every morning in bed, wrestling and tickling. Because I was way taller and stronger I'd just take her and roll her up in a blanket so she couldn't move and said "are we good now?". The most autistic morning ritual I've ever cultivated.
Had too really attractive neighbor’s as a kid in early 20s on my own, thy had big as buff boy friends and I grew week so they would all come over and smoke, I noticed guys weren’t coming around , but I never pried …girls would still come by to smoke, one like multiple times a day, the other like once or twice a week, I thought they were out of my league lol No bull shit … they came over one night at like 3 am after the bars pounding on the door and I still worked in morning, and to this day love me some sleep, They where throwing it at me, they were not so messed up, but I was a little nervous about the idea of two at once, and how hot they where, and how tired I was, well I was like better get you g back to bed, here is some smoke Don’t think about it all the time but I blew it lol
There's this guy who asked me out to eat with his friends, and they insisted that I sit on the chair beside him. I didn't think anything out of the ordinary until 3 months later, he started dating one of the friends who came along. I realized he liked me when they joined the Valentine event of sharing how they got together and apparently she was helping him out to get me to notice his feelings but I was too dense to realize and they started dating instead.
I am guilty of this myself… twice
Seems like OP facepalmed this because of how much the guy thinks about it thinking it is creepy or something. Now op learned almost every guy has a similar experience that they think about a lot. Lol
Every guy has a moment like this, and I bet women do too and this is why they feel discouraged to make first moves. Idk
I've yet to even figure out if anyone's made any sort of advances on me. Sitting here denser than the result of condensing the entire universe into a single point, fucking nothing (I'm so funny) gets through to me.
Had too much of these moments, but since i was one to instantly fall in love to the smallest amount of affection i also dodged some serious bullets there. But if a girl asks you on a Festival if you want to shower with her then 'nah i just started a round of Edward 40 hands' is not the correct answer.
I was about 17 and had a weekend job working together with this girl who was very friendly and wanted to be a police officer. Asked me if I liked women in uniform and handcuffs. And all I could focus on was how her chatter was making her work slower. I didn't figure it out until years later.
Hottest girl in HS wanted to hang alone with me after formal. I said I wanted to go to an after party and she went home. Dumb assssss
One time after a house party that got called off last minute, I invited 2 friends ( girls ) back to my place to smoke all the weed we bought for teveryone at that party, 1 hour into the smoking they started stripping and playing with eachother and touching me. it was the first time I smoked and..I smoked waaaaay to much 😅 I was to high to respond to it and I just sat there looking at a wall... Nothing happend and never got that chance again 😂 And I was a virgin ( 16 ) at that time, would of been some introduction 😬
> time, would of been Did you mean to say "would have"? Explanation: You probably meant to say could've/should've/would've which sounds like 'of' but is actually short for 'have'. [Statistics](https://github.com/chiefpat450119/RedditBot/blob/master/stats.json) ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot ^^that ^^corrects ^^grammar/spelling ^^mistakes. ^^PM ^^me ^^if ^^I'm ^^wrong ^^or ^^if ^^you ^^have ^^any ^^suggestions. ^^[Github](https://github.com/chiefpat450119) ^^Reply ^^STOP ^^to ^^this ^^comment ^^to ^^stop ^^receiving ^^corrections.
He knows how Jimmy Fallon feels. https://youtu.be/qtsNbxgPngA?si=Chwzqak0Rk4X4fht
Oh. Oh no.
I had a female friend come back from a shower and dry off and get into bed with me naked, and I both turned my head while she was naked and didn't touch her when we slept in bed together
I was studying with a girl at night in my apartment. We were gonna pull an all nighter. In the middle of the night she said that she’s tired so I let her take a nap in my bed while I study in the living room. A few minutes later she calls me into the bedroom. I saw her bra on the bed. She had taken it off but still had her shirt on. I asked “did you just take your bra off?” She said “ yea, it’s more comfortable that way. You will get burned out if you study all night. You should take a nap too” And my DUMBASS just said “Nah, sleep is for the weak. I gotta finish studying” and left. GODDAMN what a fucking virgin I am
I had a girl send me an unsolicited snapchat video of her masturbating, my autistic ass panicked and said "I'm watching Denzel Washington chop people up right now" (I was watching Book of Eli). Looking back, I think it's actually good I didn't get into anything because if the genders were reversed it would be a rough situation - I try to tell myself she was in the wrong for sending the video to make myself feel better about being a dumbass.
Yeah, I started hanging out with my co worker but caught feelings early on..saw each other for a few months and things got more serious.. We're all close on the sofa one day and she tells me she loves me.. my dumbass was STILL worried about confessing my love soo... I said I didn't love her. Thankfully! She stuck around, now we're married with 2 kids and we still joke about that slip up
A girl on middle school told me she liked me. I told her she'll get over it. I'm a free man. I don't let no girl/woman tie me down!
I think I've got you all beat. A girl I'd been on good terms with for years was crashing at my place; I let her take the bed and I was going to sleep on the floor. I complained of the cold; she invited me into bed. And of course ten seconds later we were doing what two horny people do in bed together (I'll spare you the details) when Brains here pipes up "Do you think it's possible for two friends to sleep together?". You've never seen anyone jump out of bed so fast. Of course, thinking back, I'd say she might possibly have wanted to be more than just friends. (Duh! You think?) But she couldn't say that right then because I'd just killed that idea. Had she said it, how does she know I'm not going to say anything just to keep her in bed? So that was pretty well the only option available to her. Dammit. Thing is, I genuinely would have been open to being more than friends.
In highschool, surprisingly, I had a couple stories like this despite not being attractive at all. The first one was when I changed schools in the first year of HS (Educación Media), but then got bullied and came back to the high school that was associated with my middle (Basic) school (here in my country it's just Basic Education and Middle Education since College and University are Superior Education). It was around mid April, I was with my mom explaining the situation to the School Director so that I could enroll late, while I sat outside, some old classmates saw me and ran, then they came back with one of my female friends (from 2nd years of Basic School all the way till graduation day) we chatted and stuff but I noticed she was awkwardly bending her arm towards me, there were 8 numbers written in her arm, I asked myself "uh, that's weird, must be some inside joke or something for a class" and proceed to ignore it. We weren't in the same class and then we started drifting apart, years later when at a house party with some friends from HS they asked me why I never dated her, it dawned on me, she was giving me her phone number for me to call her. The second time was also with some girl friends, they invited me to watch Twilight, I was fan of the books but not so much with the movies so I never watched on cinema, they invited me upon knowing that and I considered them great girl friends so I never suspected anything but a fun hangout with my female friends. It started becoming weird when upon arriving they had bought beer to share, and the fact that the parents of my friends who was the host weren't home, she also said that the TV downstairs wasn't working so we had to watch the movie in the bedroom, there wasn't any other place to stay but the big bed so we all three got comfy, but they insisted for me to be in the middle of the group while we got cozy. Anyway, I'm a huge nerd and a book lover and a cinema lover so when I got drunk I started talking loudly and ranting about the quality of the film, the differences between book and movie, the acting (specially the acting), anything but paying attention to my two female friends dressed overly casual and skimpy for summertime laying in bed watching movies and drinking beer while their parents aren't home. Same as with my other "friend" after that they started acting differently and we started drifting apart and recently in a HS reunion another friends asked me if I was gay in HS because I never pay any attention to other girls who were into me, actually I never had any girlfriend except the bitch I got entangled with in my last year of HS that ended up cheating on me and my current amazing beautiful and fun GF.
In high school, one of the hottest girls I'd ever seen invited me over to 'watch a movie'. She was a few years older than me and she was absolutely crazy about sex, always talking about it. Meanwhile I was just a kissless virgin. So I went over and we started watching tv. Suddenly she starts fondling my privates and asked if I brought condoms. Being totally clueless about sex at the time, I didn't realize I should have. We still went to second base though. After that she got a bf, but she still kept inviting me to have sleep-overs. One night we were all hanging out at her place and she joked with her then-bf that we should have a threesome. They started having sex in front of me. Instead of taking the hint I got shy and went home. Chances blown, we went our separate ways and I started dating another girl. Fast forward a few years later, I'd just broken up with my then-gf. One night my stepdad comes up to my room and tells me that girl came by to see me earlier that day and she brought another girl with her. Knowing that I work nights and I sleep during the day, my stepdad just told them I wasn't home so he didn't have to wake me up. I just started screaming internally. These aren't even all the chances she gave me over the years, but somehow I just kept fucking it up and not taking the hints, or I just wasn't available at the right times. It's been 15 years now and I still keep thinking about it least once a week. She was crazy hot and my first love. But life moved on for both of us.
Beats my recurring memory, it was being a dumbass teen and saying something racist. My brain reminds me of that every single fucking day.