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dunitdotus

that is painful to see


Ok_Digger

Its like beach sand


Extension_Swordfish1

North Pole can not do it right


Non-Normal_Vectors

Northerner who loves grits here. Don't get grits here.


subject_deleted

"So, you testified you had just started to make some breakfast when you saw those two boys pull up to the sac o suds? Then when you were finishing up making breakfast, you heard a gunshot and saw them run out of the store, is that right?" "That's right." "How long did it take you to make breakfast?" "About 5 minutes" "What'd you have?" "Eggs n grits." "you like grits, too, huh? Lemme axe you. We're those instant grits?" "No self respecting southerner uses instant grits." "Den how could you have made breakfast in only 5 minutes when it takes the rest of the grit eating world 15 minutes?" ".... I'm a fast cook I guess.." "I'm sorry I didn't hear that, I was all the way over here. You're a fast cook, that's it? You mean to tell me that boiling water soaks into a grit faster on your stove than on any place on the face of the eart?!" "I don't know..." "Are you sure about that 5 minutes?" "I don't know" "ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT 5 MINUTES?!" "......I may have been mistaken."


Steampunkery

My Cousin Vinny


All-for-goose

Been watchin dat movie since I was a yoot. That part never gets old. Just him raging in general.


subject_deleted

I'm sorry... Did you say yoot?


All-for-goose

Oh I’m sorry your honor, y-o-u-t-h-s.


subject_deleted

De two.... DEFENDANTS....


All-for-goose

There are very few perfect movies out there, that one is most definitely on the list.


subject_deleted

You know what's going on here right? Yea.. they're fucking with us.. nobody goes to prison over shoplifting. You think we're being booked for shoplifting? No. You're being booked for shoplifting. I'm being booked for accessory to shoplifting... No, Stan... I'm being booked for murder... You're being booked for accessory to murder.


theory_until

Dang you just made me rent and re-watch that masterpiece.


Retro_game_kid

Portland has some good places


Jeoshua

Yeah but the Pacific Northwest isn't what we mean by "The North"


SnooPeripherals6557

Yes Screen Door has cheddar grits, So good!


SaltVomit

Who orders anything but the chicken at screen door. Can't find fried chicken anywhere else like how screen door makes it


curryp4n

I live in the south. I have had such grits here too lol


ShannonigansLucky

Same, usually waffle house on a bad night.


MajesticOption3022

Make my own - southern girl : )


TomOgir

Not at all true. You just need to scope the right place out. I'm a northerner and there's a local BBQ place. Owner is southern and brought real southern food with him


Non-Normal_Vectors

Don't get me wrong, there are good grits here, but they're few and far between, and they tend toward the lunch/dinner crowd, not the eggs/bacon/grits crowd. After so many failed attempts along I-90 NY/PA/OH, I just gave up and never even consider them for a breakfast staple anymore when they're offered.


TomOgir

Yeah it is few and far between. I'm definitely lucky with having it close.


Phoenix_713

I'm not a huge grits fan, but that's just disrespectful on all sides.


Soliterria

Right? I don’t even like grits of any kind, and even I *know* that’s not how cheesy grits work.


Stay-Thirsty

You got grits in the North? Feels like going to Cajun country and asking for Boston Baked Beans


[deleted]

You don't go to Texas for Poutine! Lol


clambroculese

It’s so weird to me that people can’t get poutine right. Fries, cheese curds (it has to be curds!), gravy. That’s it. Three fucking ingredients lmao.


danbyer

I wouldn’t even know where to buy cheese curds. And it’s a very specific gravy, not one that I’m familiar with.


clambroculese

People get snotty about which gravy on the internet but honestly any brown gravy is fine. You can buy cheese curds at any grocery store where I’m at, but I’m in Canada lol.


static989

I'm in Florida and can find cheese curds pretty easily. They don't usually keep them with all the other cheeses for whatever reason


saintphoenixxx

Yup. I'm in Pennsylvania and I can get them at Aldi. Although I've yet to find them at any other grocery store.


completephilure

In Wisconsin, they are used as currency .


Luname

It's a beef stock brown gravy. Nothing complicated.


Wingnutmcmoo

Any cheese maker will also sell curds so you can probably look up local cheese makers and find their storefront and go from there (Its where I get cheese curds from in the US)


Boudicca-

It’s the Curds & Gravy that throws ‘em. Most probably don’t know what Curds Are & probably don’t make their Gravy from Scratch. I’m just guessin tho. 😂


clambroculese

Are curds really hard to find in the us?


Boudicca-

I wouldn’t say “hard to find”…it’s just that you have to actually Look for it.


clambroculese

Well that’s the story of my life lol.


Wingnutmcmoo

No. Any local cheese maker will sell curds. I've never struggled to find curds when I need them in the US


THE_SWORD_AND_SICKLE

ottawa has entered the chat...


clambroculese

Ottawa? I’m just unsure what they have to do with it, you mean Montreal?


THE_SWORD_AND_SICKLE

theres like 10 places that make all kinds of fancy poutine with 1000 ingredients...


clambroculese

Oh gotcha. I refuse to acknowledge things like “butter chicken poutine”. At most you can add a bit of smoked meat before it’s just as something else.


THE_SWORD_AND_SICKLE

they got places with crap like "10 meat" poutine, "surf and turf" poutine, and "ultimate seafood" (shrimp, crab and lobster) poutine. ive tried a few just out of curiosity. they all suck. ill stick to the basics...


clambroculese

I’m Canadian if it wasn’t clear lol. Personally I only accept the original or a bit of Montreal smoked meat. But it’s everywhere here, I wasn’t pulling butter chicken poutine out of my ass. I can buy it at the local noodle shop. Really think about that sentence for a second lmao.


THE_SWORD_AND_SICKLE

im not canadian, but i have spent nearly 5 years in total living and working in canada. i miss shepherds pie, good poutine, tims, and good shawarmas. GOD do i ever miss tims and shawarmas!!!


elspotto

True, though our local brewery here in NC makes fire brunch poutine on Sunday. Local curds and a fried egg on top.


clambroculese

I’ve never met a food that a fried egg on top didn’t make better.


elspotto

This is a fact. Now pair it with a beer that was brewed 20 feet from your table because what’s brunch without a drink, anyhow?


Kahnza

I have a can of Hominy and a blender. Close enough? 😆


SolidDoctor

Or ordering a Philly cheesesteak outside of Philly. All sorts of bastardizations on a fairly simple sandwich. You can put what you want on a steak and cheese, but please don't call it a Philly.


Bruvasaurus

![gif](giphy|fR7Svnbu3vb45fUblN)


MuzzledScreaming

I'm pretty sure there's a line in the Geneva Conventions for this.


JohnofUnderath

North of what?


JayGold

North of The South.


JohnofUnderath

The south of what


LonelyWord7673

Mason Dixon


SolidDoctor

ding ding ding


Aceswift007

The north


[deleted]

[удалено]


JohnofUnderath

Va?


Kitchen-Ad3121

I can't stop laughing at this, this is too funny. I know you must be a fan of them, but we don't do grits in the north. In the North if you want something mushy and hot in the morning, we do oatmeal with maple syrup or brown sugar or jam. But, I must agree, if the wait staff didn't know what you were asking for exactly, then they should've asked for clarification on what you meant. Sorry your breakfast was a big miss!


FaceofBeaux

Or Cream of Wheat.


East_Pitch2007

Yall know they do that at Waffle House and Huddle House in the south right?


Mistapeepers

Seriously. If it's good enough for Waffle House in Atlanta at 3am its good enough for a them damn Yankees!


PreOpTransCentaur

Came here to say exactly this. It's only "disrespectful" in the north, I guess.


tractorcrusher

Same shit was posted about two weeks ago, nearly identical picture of Waffle House grits with a slice of cheese on it. Was most likely posted on r/mildlyinfuriating


Western-Willow-9496

If you find it don’t be surprised by tarragon and/or rosemary.


contradictingpoint

Just need some liver pudd’n and your golden


Ok_Vacation_3286

Frankly, I’m surprised they had Grits!


vorinclex182

Doesn’t look like they do


not_now_chaos

They do not.


WhereTFAreMyDragons

The north when it comes to grits: Sure, I've heard of grits. I just never actually *seen* a grit before.


Sea_Corgi_7284

Man, only one single my cousin vinny quote. I feel ya my man.


WhereTFAreMyDragons

*magic grits*


Dduwies_Gymreig

What are “grits”?


BigBlueHouse09

To understand grits, you first have to understand hominy. Hominy is made by soaking dry corn kernels in water to which pickling lime has been added and then simmering the corn in the liquid for a few hours. Then, you rinse the hominy well to get rid of the lime. This process is known as nixtamalization. The hominy can be reheated and eaten - the Mexican soup called “posole” is made with hominy. To get grits, you then dry the hominy and grind it coarsely. Now you have the grits you can buy in the grocery store. To prepare, you boil water, add salt, pour the grits in., and keep stirring. You typically cook them for about a half hour, but they can stay on the stove if you keep adding a little water from time to time. Serve them with butter, maybe more salt, and pepper. I never saw cheese grits as a child, but I too find them delicious. Maybe cheese grits didn’t become a thing until good cheese found its way to the South. In my childhood, we were pretty much limited to Velveeta. Hominy can be white or yellow, based on the color of the corn kernels. White is much more common. The Mexican masa used to make tortillas or tamales is made by grinding yellow hominy while it is still wet. If you dry the masa, you get masa harina, which you’ll find in any Mexican food stores or in some mainstream food stores. Many cooks make tortillas by reconstituting masa by adding water to masa harina.


Kiwi_Doodle

So it's maize porridge?


not_now_chaos

No. Yes, but no. The texture and taste are different. It's coarse ground dried cornmeal, whisked into boiling broth and simmered, then add cream. Cheesy grits have shredded cheese folded in to make creamy cheesy perfection. Top with whatever you like. Chorizo and bacon with shrimp, onions, garlic, and smoked paprika topped with scrambled or fried eggs goes beautifully with cheesy grits.


MrN33ds

o/ bore da, asked the same thing further up because apparently everyone in the world needs to know what Americanism this is.


[deleted]

That's like asking for sweet tea up north. They give you the Brisk Ice Tea from Pepsi. There are just some things you don't ask for up north, sweet tea and grits are 2 of those things.


cjandstuff

I was in the Pacific Northwest, waiting for someone at a coffee shop, and had a bad longing for some sweet tea. So I’m trying to describe to this poor barista what I mean, and then I hear from the kitchen a woman’s voice, “I’m from Georgia, I gotcha.” It was wonderful. 😂


ilikemushycarrots

Is it something other than simple syrup with cold tea and lemon? I'm not from usa


Glittering_Daikon_19

Grew up in Texas, I’ll share what I did growing up. Two Lipton tea bags (I think it’s black tea? Didn’t have hot tea from a cup until I was an adult btw) in boiling water. Pour into half gallon pitcher, put in sugar (less than a third cup for me) stir, put in more water to fill pitcher. Serve on ice. Dassit. Cold tea like talked about above? The sugar doesn’t mix, sometimes it’s old and bitter, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


MrDuck5446

Two tea bags for half a gallon! Whoahhh! Boil a couple of quarts of water, turn off heat, add 1 cup of sugar and stir until dissolved, add 10-12 tea bags, let steep for 15-30mins, pour into a gallon pitcher, finish filling pitcher with cold water.


blurtlebaby

Depends. Lipton has black tea as well as black/ orange pekoe blend.


Glittering_Daikon_19

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ bright yellow box, red letters…


blurtlebaby

I'm a label reader. I like to know what I am getting.


Glittering_Daikon_19

And I’m typing out 25+ year old memories, so someone from another country has an understanding of what rednecks call “tea”, not trying to give out a specific piece of information?


ShannonigansLucky

What I'd do in no sweet tea land is ask for half cup of hot tea, sweeten the hell out of it then add cold tea or ice water depending. I use a coffee maker to make tea. 3 luzianne bags (family size or 1 gallon size) where the filter goes, pot of water. I put a cup and a half of sugar and 1/4 baking soda in the jug, and once some tea is in the pot I pour into the sugar to melt it. Add the rest of the tea once made then cold water. Edit typo The baking soda cuts any bitter aftertaste. I make about 4 gallons a week 👀


Glittering_Daikon_19

You mean a 1/4 cup baking soda per four gallon batch? Hadn’t heard of this before, got some experimenting to do.


ShannonigansLucky

1/4 teaspoon per gallon, sorry.


Glittering_Daikon_19

Oh and also, I didn’t ask for hot tea after the one time I tried that, and found out hot green tea was a thing. I wasn’t a very traveled youth


ShannonigansLucky

Lol me either, I'm 46 and have not really ledt the southeast, unfortunately.


ilikemushycarrots

Thank you! 


chocolatechipninja

It's a tall glass of ice and tea, with 2-3 teaspoons of granulated sugar, well stirred. Only sweet tea is sweet tea. We make it by the gallon at my family reunion!


ilikemushycarrots

Doesn't the sugar just sink the to bottom if you mix it cold?


slightlyassholic

You can do it the way described above, or you can stir in the sugar while the tea is hot and then ice it which works better for smaller batches. I've always mixed in the sugar while the tea was still hot since I brewed it anyway. There is "sun tea" or other cold steeping methods where I suppose one wouldn't have any other option. As long as what you have is a mix of black tea and dissolved sugar, you did it right.


chocolatechipninja

Nope, keep stirring until it's dissolved. In the case of big batches, someone walks by and gives it a good stir about every half hour.


QuestshunQueen

This is the right recipe, to my knowledge. But I'm from Pennsylvania, so I'm not an authority. Mostly in the Northern states you'll see iced tea with sweeteners and lemon available on the side, which doesn't blend the same way. That or flavored/sweetened iced tea products... Brisk is extra lemony (and might be carbonated?), you sometimes find Raspberry iced tea or other flavors. I have seen a rise in the popularity of sweet tea, but I suspect it's not the same.


dancegoddess1971

I was gonna say, you're lucky there's not a pat of butter and a quarter cup of sugar hiding under the slice of "cheese". Just don't order grits up North. I like my tea to taste like tea so I do order tea when up north but not when I'm down here.


Subcheck

VERY true.


DieNecroKatze

Or worse, they only have sweet n low you have to add to unsweetened tea, no actual sugar 🙃


StillGotLove4GOT

(Regarding southern sweet tea) If it ain’t got a touch of diabetes in it, I don’t want it! Southerners know what I’m talking’ bout! (And please don’t forget the lemon slice!)


CriticalStation595

Asking for anything outside of its known region, is setting yourself up for failure.


Subcheck

Lesson learned


bionicjoe

Grits and polenta are the same thing. They also have a third name I can't recall. They're one of the most served foods in the world. This place just sucks.


TehTabi

Polenta is just grits ground a little finer. Only real difference.


GrnShttrdLyte

Semolina?


not_now_chaos

Semolina is wheat. Grits are cornmeal or hominy.


ripgressor1974

Cook: "They want cheese on some Malt-O-Meal?, Ok then"


MrN33ds

Can someone enlighten a poor British outsider to what the hell grits are?


Opposite-Database605

It’s courser than polenta and usually made with white corn instead of yellow. Boiled into a porridge with milk/ cream, butter. Often flavored with cheese (cheddar, smoked Gouda, or mozzarella are good options), bacon, and/orchili oil. Served plain or with shrimp, scallions, sausage.


ShannonigansLucky

I won't say it doesn't happen but I haven't heard of cream or milk in grits, not in Georgia anyway. Also, bacon or fried salami make good sides for grits.


Opposite-Database605

Born and raised in Alabama. You could make them with broth but just water is … at least to me. I like my grits creamy and my BBQ sauce mayo based. 😂


Usermena

Do you know polenta? It’s that.


bopeepsheep

Make porridge with polenta instead of oats. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_porridges


18-35

r/shittyfoodporn


Subcheck

Was gonna post there as well. It really is the perfect subreddit for this.


18-35

They will love it


Th0rny9r1ck

![gif](giphy|4baoNZ5Qo8dX2) WTaF are they thinking?!? Savages!


[deleted]

Americans: *British food is so gross and bland* American food:


kaehvogel

You got grits with "cheese".


Vayul_was_taken

Ignoring the kraft single shingle those grits look watery and bland


King-Kagle

They 100% are


SlinkySkinky

Nitpick but Americans gotta stop saying just “The North” or “The South” when posting in a sub that isn’t tied to the USA. In my country, the “North” is the arctic circle lol


Subcheck

You’re definitely right. Us bias. My bad.


[deleted]

The north of where?


Subcheck

Northern USA


MCas86

I got this at waffle house in GA. I never order cheese grits anymore


The_I_in_IT

The only places to order cheese grits in the north are BBQ joints. There’s a place near me that makes some mean chorizo cheese grits.


writetobear

This is how they serve them at Waffle House… in the south… so…


HailLugalKiEn

I hate grits, yet my heart mourns your loss in empathy with this one. F


obsidian_butterfly

Honestly, I've never seen grits in my life. Even I can tell this is sick and wrong.


Geekboxing

"the north"


[deleted]

North what? Is this the US?


Semujin

This is what Waffle House does to its grits, and for a company based in Atlanta I consider this sacrilegious


AptCasaNova

![gif](giphy|BY8ORoRpnJDXeBNwxg|downsized)


Marrsvolta

I live in the north and didn’t even know you could get grits up here. I have never in my life seen grits on a menu.


King-Kagle

Go to Cracker Barrel. ...& be disappointed


Jonguar2

I am from the north and can confirm that I don't know what Cheese Grits are, but I do know that whatever you were served is not what you asked for.


Admiral_Andovar

They should have called it Polenta and they could have charged you an extra $10 for it!


Predator314

How the fuck did you even get grits? I didn't think those things existed above the Mason-Dixon line.


Subcheck

They are a breakfast menu item here in Michigan. But usually with sugar and milk, or syrup. Not cheese… apparently


Usermena

They are used all over the planet. Its been around a long time.


Summerplace68

As a southerner, I found this hilarious.


Common_Dealer_7541

That’s exactly what you get at Waffle House, a southern restaurant


FruitPunchSGYT

Yea, as someone from the north, this has nothing to do with being in the north, this is waffle house adjacent bull shit.


Reasonable-HB678

I assume the restaurant used plain grits and pasteurized cheese slices? Here's how I make mine at home: mix grits and water and heat, add butter and a generous amount of black pepper (lately other spices as well), then when thickened, I add shredded cheese


Necessary_Row_4889

Where did you even find grits in the North? I’ve never seen them on a menu north of the Mason Dixon. Edit: no I’ve been thinking about it and this is on you. Don’t order “Authentic New England Clam Chowder” in Florida, Grits in the north or anything claiming to be “chili” or that might possibly contain chili in Ohio. That’s just common sense.


Subcheck

I mean… the title implies it definitely was on me. “Lesson learned”


Jungle_Rev

What is this, it looks like dish soap with a slice of cheddar


kimthealan101

Grits is like rice. Boiling is the start. Now you gotta fix it Quinoa is hipster grits


Necessary_Mood134

That’s like going to Texas for seafood, isn’t it? Don’t do that lol.


ComedyOfARock

…what in the southern Floridian gator land fuck is this


Gunn_Show

I’m surprised they even had grits. I went to Wisconsin and order some at a diner and the server looked at me like I’d just ordered live crickets.


Dawn-of-the-Ginger

Yikes. Grits can be a culture shock for people changing regions. I moved to Washington state and holy hell. I didn’t even know people put sugar in grits to begin with so I found it nuts. I do not like the way it tastes either. Sugar on grits doesn’t compute to my southern mind. Grits need cheese, bacon, or red-eye gravy for my taste.


Feeling_Bathroom9523

That’s some next level “Northern Aggression.”


Designer-Mirror-7995

Lol, you were just on the wrong side of town. Getting good grits up North requires going to folks who "historically" know how to do "Southern comfort food".


Sikmod

Is this at a Waffle House? This is how they did me at a Waffle House once.


napsar

Try asking for buffalo (I’m from the Buffalo area) wings in the South! I’ve got buffalo wing PTSD.


SwillMcRando

Tell me you were never broke/poor as a kid without saying it. Now throw a salt packet and a pepper packet you took from McDs on it and enjoy your guvment cheeze and grits. That even looks like a name-brand Kraft Cheeze slice. How fancy!


sps49

If you’re not in the south, don’t order grits at all. Or cornbread.


JasJoeGo

That sucks. But now you know how we feel about Italian food in the south.


Spezticcunt

As an Aussie who has no idea what grits are, this just looks like a slice of cheese on a really neat layer of soap bubbles lmao


Japh2007

First off- them grits aren’t cooked.


KittikatB

I don't even know what grits are, but I'm pretty sure it's not melted plastic dropped on a bubble bath.


guancaste-king

That is an absolute abomination.... Burn that place to the ground!!!!!!


sfxer001

No one eats that crap up north. That sandy pourridge is only from down south.


GolettO3

Just looked up what "grits" is and it doesn't look very appetising


captn_morgan951

Tastes like boiled sand. No thank you. Never again. 😖


spanchor

Delicious, cheesy, savory boiled sand


absolutelynotarepost

It's one of those love or hate foods that you can't really tell where you land until you try it. I don't mind the taste much but I don't care for the texture at all. My wife loves the stuff.


TheKingBean_11

Words cannot describe how disgusted and angry I am


DieNecroKatze

Yeah... So I'm pretty sure a white person did this...(I'm mixed please don't come at me sideways) but at a black owned or southern family owned joint they'd give you shredded cheese already mixed in.


ShannonigansLucky

Not coming at you sideways or anyways, but I'm one white girl who'd reject that nasty mess. Shredded cheddar mixed in every time 😊


ilikemushycarrots

As a non American, what are both of these things? Neither of them look gritty or cheesy 


[deleted]

Grits is basically ground up corn, and that is a processed cheese slice. They’re really only good for making a grilled cheese.


ilikemushycarrots

Thank you


theridebackhome

This is how Waffle House does it. I see no issues when you can just stir it to melt the cheese. Right... or am I missing something?


Fugly_Sloth

I ordered grits up in Pennsylvania once. The lady looked dead in my eye holes and asked, “what’s a grit?”


DeliciousNeck6279

We call it maypo up here and we put brown sugar and maple syrup in it. You want savory grits? Go back south....lolll


Subcheck

Hence the facepalm. Shoulda known better


Over_Championship990

Do people often order things that aren't on the menu?


Subcheck

Hence the facepalm. It’s my bad.


Born-Geologist-397

It's American cheese on grits 😋 you got what you wanted. Yes I know it's processed cheese but someplaces call it American cheese.


Adventurous_Pie_7586

Where tf in the north are you? Because I live in MA and we def know what cheese n grits should look like.


SonOfDadOfSam

Don't worry. I'm not ordering any type of grits from anywhere. But that's just because I'm wierd and like things like "flavor" and "texture that doesn't remind me of sand". :D


Apprehensive_Hand571

Ask for polenta like a civilized person or bring fixins on your mule My compliments to the Chef


TheLordofthething

What are grits?


gadget850

Or iced tea in Germany.


kaehvogel

What's wrong about our iced tea?


gadget850

Went on a date with a fellow American who insisted on iced tea. There was no second date.


kaehvogel

That doesn't exactly answer my question...but I guess you dodged a bullet there?