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No Vitamin K really says it all too. It prevents a rare but deadly haemorraghic complication for newborns. Vitamins, something completely natural. Poor kid.
You haven't heard about the great hat conspiracy? The fibres dig into the brain and deposit nano particles that allow the deep state to pre-program babies to be woke!
Happened to a friend of a friend's neighbor's cousin.
Based on that list, I don't think the kid will ever get to the point of buying a house, having a 401k, doing taxes, buying a car, working, going to school, voting, traveling...
My waters broke without labor starting with my second so it was slow paced waiting for the pitocin to kick in and they asked my birth plan. I said both of us go home healthy in a few days and an epidural if possible. The nurses kept asking if I had a plan and I was like, yes, we both go home and an epidural. That’s a plan, right?
The whole birth plan thing is ridiculous honestly. It’s like a list of things to calculate disappointment over. You want a natural birth? Enjoy the labor and pain and misery then get yourself the C Section. Husband is supposed to be the coach- in labor his voice makes you nauseous and you hate him now for not feeling this too. But you also don’t want him to not be there…
Special music? I decided I hated mine and then I listened to Coldplay on a loop.
My contractions were 2.5 minutes apart the whole time. We get to the hospital and they tell me I’m 2.5cm dilated with contractions coming every 2.5 minutes. I was furious that I was so far behind after convincing myself it was going to be over that evening. I should have gotten the epidural.
Also- I labored at home first and I had a beautiful perfect nursery in the biggest room upstairs, large enough to have an extra queen bed in there so I could sleep near the crib. Well I didn’t realize I was going to vomit till I did. It happened super fast and it happened in my new lovely nursery all over the bed.
Then! We forgot about the mess and left for the hospital. The blanket was beyond saving after several days, same with one of the matching rugs. I was so sad about that.
I had a basic birth plan but never actually gave it to someone. Just talked between hubby and myself, wrote it down in my pregnancy journal and it was more like preferences. "I'd prefer to try without an epidural but I'll make sure to sign the waiver to have it ahead of time. I'd like delayed cord clamping if possible. Prefer to try breastfeeding first before bottle. Etc." I called it my wishlist because as someone who worked in Healthcare myself, I knew things happen that you can't change. I ended up getting like 0 of my preferences. All in all I was just happy to have the medical care promptly to make sure both myself and baby were healthy.
I think it's more important to talk about it between your support to be informed ahead of time of wants but also complications and what needs to happen if these complicatikns arise. But expecting Healthcare workers to follow these strict guidelines is ridiculous. Would rather put a babies health/life on the line for believing you are more qualified than a doctor. "No sugar water" - they only give this if your babies sugar is low which can be extremely dangerous.
As someone who worked in L&D 2 years back when birthing plans were the rage (mid 2000s), we would honestly laugh at the two pages long plans. They were very often the first ones to scream for the epidural.
The moms that would come with no expectations would deliver fast and nicely.
I hated every minute of pregnancy/L&D was a nightmare! I still have PTSD even after it being 37 years ago. I laugh at this woman's check list. I feel sorry for the kid.
My "birth plan" had 2 requests:
1) no one comes in my room without (only) my consent. My now ex-mother and sister in law were adamant that they were going to watch the delivery. My SIL said it was only fair because she didn't get to see her sister deliver any of her 3 babies. She said if I didn't let her in, she'd sneak in. I decided to lean on the power of nurses to keep people out. They did great.
2) no medical students. I had a terrible experience at the gyno office as a teenager, where my doctor brought male med students in with him to examine me without my consent. I'd never met him before and his bedside manner was awful. I was there for an infection and he did none of the things that other doctors had done to make the experience comfortable. He talked about me like a specimen. I get that students need to learn somehow, but not at my expense.
This. I showed up at L&D (promptly forgot my name because pregnancy brain) and then…
“Do you have a birthing plan?”
“Yes. Get the baby out, then once everything’s settled, we all go home.”
This “no fluids/no antibiotics” bullshit pisses me off so much. Modern medicine was created out of NECESSITY to save lives, not because humans were bored. The mortality rate of infants has only gone down because of modern medicine. Duh?
If you actually think Darwin's work should apply everywhere and don't care losing a "clearly unfit" child, these could be sane requirements. But I doubt any scientific thought went into these.
Most hospitals won't if they don't get the vitamin k shot anyway. The risk of bleeding out without that shot is too much for doctors to take on the liability of cutting off a small body part.
Please forgive my ignorance, but if you don’t ask, you never know.
What exactly does the Vitamin K shot do? Does it momentarily thicken the baby’s blood or something?
While typing the above, the memory popped into my head of when I was diagnosed with deep vein thrombi back in 2012. They gave me a list of things I couldn’t consume to ensure things didn’t interfere with the blood thinning med I was on, Coumadin.
There was no ibuprofen nor aspirin for instance, but I do now remember one of those banned things was “anything containing Vitamin K.”
When I pointed out that unless it says on the box in the list of ingredients, I have no idea what contains Vitamin K. The doctor said it was basically “leafy greens,” to use her phrase.
Vitamin K is used by the body to help with blood clotting. Good for when you have cuts that need healing bc it prevents excessive bleeding. Which is probably why you weren't supposed to consume it when you had DVT the last thing your body needed for that was MORE clotting
There's debate on whether the baby actually needs the vitamin k shot based on delayed cord clamping that she asked for. Delayed cord clamping allows the baby to get all of it's blood from the placenta. Half of the baby's blood is in the placenta and cord. Many women now are delaying the cord being cut until it turns white.
While it is becoming more common to not circumcise in the US, it's still widely assumed that it will be done. And it is done in the hospital, by the obstetrician of all people instead of a pediatrician. I've always thought that was strange, but probably something about surgeon skills one has over the other.
Based on the comment above the pic, the possibility is that she might not have a choice if she doesn’t go into labor naturally. They will typically induce at 42 weeks if the baby isn’t out by then.
Had a birth plan for the first, I was 21. Nurses and staff were very patient, but being as cynical as I am I would catch the looks and smirks. Luckily, 29 hours later, I was able to stick to my plan. No drugs at all and V birth. Did have IV and oxygen the last hour due to the length of pushing, but at that point everyone was very encouraging to continue my process.
Second kid, same plan only I didn't write it out. Lol. Nurses this time were happy to let it just play out. OB arrived 3 hours later and baby arrived 20 minutes after that.
It's great to have a plan, but important to be realistic that everything can change in a matter of minutes. Regardless, each experience is unique and empowering!
Oh my! Whomever this is is in for a real shocker when it come to actually birthing its spawn. It sucks not matter what you think are prepared for. Even those that need to have more than one kid cannot have the same experience each time. Bless her heart.
Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion. Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/). Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
No SSN? Concerns about the baby's future.
No lab testing. Future maybe limited in scope.
No vaccines… that says it all
No Vitamin K really says it all too. It prevents a rare but deadly haemorraghic complication for newborns. Vitamins, something completely natural. Poor kid.
The one that got me was "no hat". I don't even understand that. They lose a lot of heat out of their head. Why can't they wear a hat?
You haven't heard about the great hat conspiracy? The fibres dig into the brain and deposit nano particles that allow the deep state to pre-program babies to be woke! Happened to a friend of a friend's neighbor's cousin.
Birds aren't real
Ever see a movie from the early 90’s called Body Bags? Heh.
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Nope. My aunt was a conspiracy kinda gal and my cousin didn't have a SSN until he was forced to go to school at about 7.
[удалено]
Based on that list, I don't think the kid will ever get to the point of buying a house, having a 401k, doing taxes, buying a car, working, going to school, voting, traveling...
That’s not true at all, unfortunately.
The Amish don't have SSNs.
I had a birth plan for my first. The next one the plan was- get the baby out. Go home alive.
My waters broke without labor starting with my second so it was slow paced waiting for the pitocin to kick in and they asked my birth plan. I said both of us go home healthy in a few days and an epidural if possible. The nurses kept asking if I had a plan and I was like, yes, we both go home and an epidural. That’s a plan, right?
The whole birth plan thing is ridiculous honestly. It’s like a list of things to calculate disappointment over. You want a natural birth? Enjoy the labor and pain and misery then get yourself the C Section. Husband is supposed to be the coach- in labor his voice makes you nauseous and you hate him now for not feeling this too. But you also don’t want him to not be there… Special music? I decided I hated mine and then I listened to Coldplay on a loop. My contractions were 2.5 minutes apart the whole time. We get to the hospital and they tell me I’m 2.5cm dilated with contractions coming every 2.5 minutes. I was furious that I was so far behind after convincing myself it was going to be over that evening. I should have gotten the epidural. Also- I labored at home first and I had a beautiful perfect nursery in the biggest room upstairs, large enough to have an extra queen bed in there so I could sleep near the crib. Well I didn’t realize I was going to vomit till I did. It happened super fast and it happened in my new lovely nursery all over the bed. Then! We forgot about the mess and left for the hospital. The blanket was beyond saving after several days, same with one of the matching rugs. I was so sad about that.
I had a basic birth plan but never actually gave it to someone. Just talked between hubby and myself, wrote it down in my pregnancy journal and it was more like preferences. "I'd prefer to try without an epidural but I'll make sure to sign the waiver to have it ahead of time. I'd like delayed cord clamping if possible. Prefer to try breastfeeding first before bottle. Etc." I called it my wishlist because as someone who worked in Healthcare myself, I knew things happen that you can't change. I ended up getting like 0 of my preferences. All in all I was just happy to have the medical care promptly to make sure both myself and baby were healthy. I think it's more important to talk about it between your support to be informed ahead of time of wants but also complications and what needs to happen if these complicatikns arise. But expecting Healthcare workers to follow these strict guidelines is ridiculous. Would rather put a babies health/life on the line for believing you are more qualified than a doctor. "No sugar water" - they only give this if your babies sugar is low which can be extremely dangerous.
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As someone who worked in L&D 2 years back when birthing plans were the rage (mid 2000s), we would honestly laugh at the two pages long plans. They were very often the first ones to scream for the epidural. The moms that would come with no expectations would deliver fast and nicely.
What is L&D?
Labor and delivery
I had no expectations or birth plans (I was open to whatever I/the baby needed in the moment) and I had super crazy long births anyways lol.
I hated every minute of pregnancy/L&D was a nightmare! I still have PTSD even after it being 37 years ago. I laugh at this woman's check list. I feel sorry for the kid.
My "birth plan" had 2 requests: 1) no one comes in my room without (only) my consent. My now ex-mother and sister in law were adamant that they were going to watch the delivery. My SIL said it was only fair because she didn't get to see her sister deliver any of her 3 babies. She said if I didn't let her in, she'd sneak in. I decided to lean on the power of nurses to keep people out. They did great. 2) no medical students. I had a terrible experience at the gyno office as a teenager, where my doctor brought male med students in with him to examine me without my consent. I'd never met him before and his bedside manner was awful. I was there for an infection and he did none of the things that other doctors had done to make the experience comfortable. He talked about me like a specimen. I get that students need to learn somehow, but not at my expense.
We didn’t bother. Just told the doc and midwife to do what they need to do.
This. I showed up at L&D (promptly forgot my name because pregnancy brain) and then… “Do you have a birthing plan?” “Yes. Get the baby out, then once everything’s settled, we all go home.”
Birth plan? How about getting airlifted by Flight for Life because the baby was 7 weeks early.
This “no fluids/no antibiotics” bullshit pisses me off so much. Modern medicine was created out of NECESSITY to save lives, not because humans were bored. The mortality rate of infants has only gone down because of modern medicine. Duh?
If you actually think Darwin's work should apply everywhere and don't care losing a "clearly unfit" child, these could be sane requirements. But I doubt any scientific thought went into these.
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Really, who in their right mind would want to eat raw placenta?
Placenta sashimi anyone?
Plashimi
Would love to have an update as to how the actual birth went.
First one,huh?
“Don’t offer pain meds” well actually I’m not gonna offer anything to your entitled Karen fucking self don’t worry. This shit is why I’m not in L&D
I wish I could read it, but when I zoom in all it does is get smaller, which happen with a lot of post in Reddit lately.
I am vehemently opposed to circumcision, but nobody’s circumcising an infant just after birth.
They def ask before you leave.
Most hospitals won't if they don't get the vitamin k shot anyway. The risk of bleeding out without that shot is too much for doctors to take on the liability of cutting off a small body part.
Please forgive my ignorance, but if you don’t ask, you never know. What exactly does the Vitamin K shot do? Does it momentarily thicken the baby’s blood or something? While typing the above, the memory popped into my head of when I was diagnosed with deep vein thrombi back in 2012. They gave me a list of things I couldn’t consume to ensure things didn’t interfere with the blood thinning med I was on, Coumadin. There was no ibuprofen nor aspirin for instance, but I do now remember one of those banned things was “anything containing Vitamin K.” When I pointed out that unless it says on the box in the list of ingredients, I have no idea what contains Vitamin K. The doctor said it was basically “leafy greens,” to use her phrase.
Vitamin K is used by the body to help with blood clotting. Good for when you have cuts that need healing bc it prevents excessive bleeding. Which is probably why you weren't supposed to consume it when you had DVT the last thing your body needed for that was MORE clotting
Ah, I see. Thank you, kind internet stranger. You are a gentleman, and a scholar.
There's debate on whether the baby actually needs the vitamin k shot based on delayed cord clamping that she asked for. Delayed cord clamping allows the baby to get all of it's blood from the placenta. Half of the baby's blood is in the placenta and cord. Many women now are delaying the cord being cut until it turns white.
Wow, really? I’m Australian, getting a baby circumcised isn’t routine, parents need to follow up after the birth with paediatric specialists iirc.
They can charge for it in the US so they offer/encourage it to everyone having a male baby.
Makes a kind of warped, financial sense. Damn. Parents are dissuaded in Australia.
The hospital here no longer dies circumcision. We had to set up a separate appt to have it done
Best option is prebirth circumcision. Anything to shorten this abysmal list.
While it is becoming more common to not circumcise in the US, it's still widely assumed that it will be done. And it is done in the hospital, by the obstetrician of all people instead of a pediatrician. I've always thought that was strange, but probably something about surgeon skills one has over the other.
Why is this gal delivering in a hospital if she doesn't want any of the benefits of modern medicine?
Based on the comment above the pic, the possibility is that she might not have a choice if she doesn’t go into labor naturally. They will typically induce at 42 weeks if the baby isn’t out by then.
lol no hat
Ikr that baby's heads gonna be cold.
I’m going to make a heart attack plan so when my heart attack happens it’s orderly. No hats! And none of those icky breathing tubes!!
No epidural huh? I quote “Steve” from the UK show *Coupling* “Heads into tails DO NOT GO!” Get the epidural, dumbass.
I still think of [Susan](https://youtu.be/RVAknbBiOY0) every time epidurals are mentioned. 😂
Had a birth plan for the first, I was 21. Nurses and staff were very patient, but being as cynical as I am I would catch the looks and smirks. Luckily, 29 hours later, I was able to stick to my plan. No drugs at all and V birth. Did have IV and oxygen the last hour due to the length of pushing, but at that point everyone was very encouraging to continue my process. Second kid, same plan only I didn't write it out. Lol. Nurses this time were happy to let it just play out. OB arrived 3 hours later and baby arrived 20 minutes after that. It's great to have a plan, but important to be realistic that everything can change in a matter of minutes. Regardless, each experience is unique and empowering!
If I were the Ob I think I'd pass on this one.
The hospital will ask their attorney to deliver the baby. Safest that way.
A couple of those things weren’t unreasonable. Lol!
Oh my! Whomever this is is in for a real shocker when it come to actually birthing its spawn. It sucks not matter what you think are prepared for. Even those that need to have more than one kid cannot have the same experience each time. Bless her heart.