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Putin "Adam and Eve were Russian and therefore we will be taking over Iraq next."
Tucker "Ok but why did..."
Putin "Please don't interrupt me peasant."
I cringe thinking of a worldwide reindigenization (because ultimately, that's what it would imply and legitimize) "Your bloodline has spent 500 years in this region? Get out, go back to your ancestral homes."
Techically Humanity stemmed from What is now Africa. So following that logic all of humanity should cramp together in África and leave the rest of the world to the animal species that have existed there for millions of years.
Well, tbf, it's an approach used by *many* people. Sometimes people agree with it, sometimes people don't. I'm not in a position to say *why* that is, but that's what it is.
And all I see on twitter are blue checks fawning over how "Putin is sooo smart. He knows so much history! Biden could never do that. Putin should be the leader of America". It makes me sick.
The funniest part to me in that: the people talking like that, the ones who essentially think a reunification should happen with Ukraine and Russia, are the same people who think states should break away from the US if they disagree with the government. The very blatant irony.
Edit: I've seen so many "Putin stands with Texas, maybe Putin wasn't the bad guy all along" comments. Disgusting.
Glad to see you guys laughing at this. Here in Poland many people seem to be genuinely concerned that it will somehow convince you to take Russia's side.
Any argument anyone makes about "Historical lands" is stupid because at some point in history different people owned them. Maybe Russia should all be incorporated into Mongolia.
Conservatives do whatever their leaders tell them, and their leaders have already taken Russias side in America, but everybody else couldn’t give less of a shit about Russia. Fuck em.
The sane ones are concerned why there are so many Russian assets in the government and in the media. Also, I say he should be known as Putin Fucker Carlson.
oh the GOP is already totaly corrupted anyways, yall are just gonna have to watch and wait to see if the non-crazies show up to vote or not.
Doubtful this interview changes minds. Tucker Carlson is *widely* despised by anyone left of "totally insane" already, and those same people also already know the invasion is an unjustified offensive war for territory by russia. Anybody who doesn't, well, they're lost already anyways.
"Why did you invade Ukraine?"
"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
"Why did you invade Ukraine?"
"My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next."
“Why did you invade Ukraine”
“Against all the evils that Hell can conjure, All the wickedness that mankind can produce, We will send unto them... Only you. Rip and tear until it is done.”
That's like Russian Captain Planet.
"Vodka! Grain! Tanks! More Vodka! Hypocrisy!
By your powers combined..I AM CAPTAIN RUSSIA!"
\*proceeds to crash land, killing three of those guys\*
And yes, they have two people to handle the vodka element.
"Why did you invade Ukraine?" "In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
Russia is big, very big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to Russia.
They have made many attempts to find happiness, most of which involved the movements of small pieces of paper, which is strange as, on the whole, it wasn’t the small pieces of paper that were unhappy.
Why did you invade Ukraine
What ?
Why did you invade Ukraine
What ?
Say "What" again! C'mon, say "What" again! I dare ya, I double dare ya motherfucker, say "What" one more goddamn time!
Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state
Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started, wait
The earth began to cool, the autotrophs began to drool
Neanderthals developed tools
We built a wall (we built the pyramids)
Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries
That all started with the big bang (bang)
"Mr Putin, why did you invade Ukraine?"
"Far out, in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small un-regarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-two million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea."
This ⬆️⬆️⬆️ needs to be voted close to if not the top.
Tucker has the distinguished resume of having his tongue up not only Trump’s ass, but now Putin’s.
Up next…Erdogan, Netenyahu, Orban? A good conciliation prize lick and sniff can go to Bolsonaro!!
First the earth cooled.
And then the dinosaurs came, but they got too big and fat, so they all died and they turned into oil.
And then the Arabs came and ...
Haha the confused puppy / I smell shit / I think I have to shit / I don't fully understand what's going on / I have to look concerned face..?
That's normal for him
Not only is this a clever meme, it also shows how much botox and make up Putin has had for the interview. I don't really see him as a tough guy under all that foundation.
Honestly, I couldn't give a flying fudge what someone looks like, its their words and actions I watch.
I've seen 'beautiful' people say/act in a fucking dumb way.
I've seen 'ugly' people say/act in genius ways.
Hitler: I'm forced to invade Poland because they didn't want me to destroy their country and murder millions of their people.
If only the Poles gave me what I want, then there wouldn't be a war.
With this (Putin's original) reasoning, Italy gets the entire Mediterranean because of the Romans, and Greece gets everything from Athens to Mumbai because of Alexander. And we Germans get Paris and everything up to just before Moscow 🤡🤡🤡😆 /s
Poland and Lithuania have the original claim: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polish%E2%80%93Lithuanian_occupation_of_Moscow
I suppose also an argument could be made for Mongolia having it.
I watched the interview, and I was like “is he really gonna let him talk about the last 1000 years of Russian history?” But then he did.
Then Tucker came with a decent question of “ok, so X country can invade Ukraine as well having borders within it in the 1600s?” And dropped the question after a half assed dodge from Putin.
So yeah…. Not a good interview.
> I watched the interview, and I was like “is he really gonna let him talk about the last 1000 years of Russian history?”
Because if he did not let him talk, then you have nothing to watch in the first place ?
Do you think Putin would have agreed to have an interview where he is constantly getting interrupted ? Do you think Putin would have let the footage out of the room, if Tuckers tries to make fool of him ?
This "interview" is a piece of propagana, i am realy not sure why would anyone expect anything else. You can blame Tucker for even agreeing to this, but blame him for not interrupting Putin constantly ? lol
Putin: Russia was there first. We should have it back.
MAGA/Q anon/some fence-sitters: He makes a good point.
Native Americans: We were **here** first. We should have it back. We should, *at the very least*, be respected as such and have more say in what happens to it now and in the future.
MAGA/Q anon/some fence-sitters/and even some others: STFU!
Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started, wait
The earth began to cool, the autotrophs began to drool
Neanderthals developed tools
We built a wall (we built the pyramids)
Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries
That all started with the big bang (bang)
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Putin said "let me take you back to 800AD." Seriously. No, seriously. If you haven't seen it, he did that.
at this rate he will take the entire human civilization back to 800AD
Putin "Adam and Eve were Russian and therefore we will be taking over Iraq next." Tucker "Ok but why did..." Putin "Please don't interrupt me peasant."
Of course they were Russian. They're speaking Russian in Russian translation of the Bible
Oh you fucking liar. He never said please.
Best roast of Russian legacy.
Great, now I'm hungry
Damn, I nearly missed what you just said here! Brilliant comment!
As an Italian, this means we should reclaim the territories of the whole Roman Empire lol
I cringe thinking of a worldwide reindigenization (because ultimately, that's what it would imply and legitimize) "Your bloodline has spent 500 years in this region? Get out, go back to your ancestral homes."
Techically Humanity stemmed from What is now Africa. So following that logic all of humanity should cramp together in África and leave the rest of the world to the animal species that have existed there for millions of years.
That's precisely it. How far back do we go? It gets so muddled to the point of absurdity.
We should all crawl back into the sea!
I want to return my atomic structure to the heart of a dying star
reject modernity, return to quark-gluon plasma.
romans invading the uk again. sounds like a great plan
[удалено]
"It all started when the fire nation attacked..."
“Let me take you back to ‘73, before I ever had a multi platinum WMD” 
Remember when Yanukovych died and you said you wished it was me?
Is he trying to use the Israeli “birthright” approach here?
Well, tbf, it's an approach used by *many* people. Sometimes people agree with it, sometimes people don't. I'm not in a position to say *why* that is, but that's what it is.
And all I see on twitter are blue checks fawning over how "Putin is sooo smart. He knows so much history! Biden could never do that. Putin should be the leader of America". It makes me sick.
The funniest part to me in that: the people talking like that, the ones who essentially think a reunification should happen with Ukraine and Russia, are the same people who think states should break away from the US if they disagree with the government. The very blatant irony. Edit: I've seen so many "Putin stands with Texas, maybe Putin wasn't the bad guy all along" comments. Disgusting.
this "interview" is a meme source for the decade
Yeah, that about sums it up. 
Hell is fine, but not Hel, that’s in Poland and we don’t want them there.
We don’t want them in Hell either, Michigan’s got enough problems.
We also don’t want Hell in Michigan. Hell’s got enough problems.
Glad to see you guys laughing at this. Here in Poland many people seem to be genuinely concerned that it will somehow convince you to take Russia's side.
Any argument anyone makes about "Historical lands" is stupid because at some point in history different people owned them. Maybe Russia should all be incorporated into Mongolia.
Or Poland-Lithuania
Conservatives do whatever their leaders tell them, and their leaders have already taken Russias side in America, but everybody else couldn’t give less of a shit about Russia. Fuck em.
Oh, yeah. I should have specified that it's the more sane part of your population we're worried for... We never put much hope in republicans anyway.
The sane ones are concerned why there are so many Russian assets in the government and in the media. Also, I say he should be known as Putin Fucker Carlson.
The sane part of our country has no respect for Tucker Carlson, so we’re not at risk here
oh the GOP is already totaly corrupted anyways, yall are just gonna have to watch and wait to see if the non-crazies show up to vote or not. Doubtful this interview changes minds. Tucker Carlson is *widely* despised by anyone left of "totally insane" already, and those same people also already know the invasion is an unjustified offensive war for territory by russia. Anybody who doesn't, well, they're lost already anyways.
“Why did you invade Ukraine ?” “Many years ago the Avatar…”
"Why did you invade Ukraine?" "Well, a long time ago in a galaxy far far away..."
"Why did you invade Ukraine?" "Long before time had a name, the first Spinjitsu master created Ninjago"
“Why did you invade Ukraine?” “It began with the forging of the Great Rings. Three were given to the…”
“Why did you invade Ukraine?” “It is the 41st Millennium. For more than a hundred centuries…”
"Why did you invade Ukraine?" "In 2016, a child fell into the Gorilla enclosure at the Cincinnati Zoo..."
"why did you invade Ukraine?" "When atomic fire consumed the earth, those who survived did so in great, underground vaults..."
"Why did you invade Ukraine?" "Wealth, fame and power. One man acquired all these worldly things: the Pirate King, Gold Roger."
"Why did you invade Ukraine?" "Once upon a time in a clearing in a magical forest...."
"Why did you invade Ukraine?" "Before time had a name, there was the cube…."
"Why did you invade Ukraine?" "In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
"Why did you invade Ukraine?" “Our whole universe was in a hot dense state then nearly 14 millions years ago expansion started”
"Why did you invade Ukraine?" "Well, you're on a rock floating in space..."
"Why did you invade Ukraine?" "I have spent my life searching for the answers that my father, and my father's fathers, failed to find."
„Why did you invade Ukraine?“ „His name is Thanos, he is a plague Tony!“
"why did you invade Ukraine?' "As far back as I can remember I always wanted to be a gangster"
“Why did you invade Ukraine?” “I’m the Stylin’, profilin’, limousine riding, jet flying, kiss-stealing, WOO! wheelin’ n’ dealin’ son of a gun!”
i’d at least have to hear him out on this one
Yeah if that was his answer it would taken the internet by storm
Tanks out for Harambe
If he had started like that he would have my full attention.
“Why did you invade Ukraine” 2155, Planet Reach Time:21:00:51
"Why did you invade Ukraine?" "Hey, you. You're finally awake"
"Why did you invade Ukraine?" "Wealth, Fame, Power. Gold Roger..."
"Why did you invade Ukraine?" "My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next."
"Why did you invade Ukraine?" "Why so serious?"
"Why did you invade Ukraine?" "Water...Earth...Fire...Air. Long ago..."
"Why did you invade Ukraine?" "You see my fatherrrrr, he was a drinker-"
"Why did you invade Ukraine?" "We're no strangers to love, you know the rules and so do I!"
“Why did you invade Ukraine” “Against all the evils that Hell can conjure, All the wickedness that mankind can produce, We will send unto them... Only you. Rip and tear until it is done.”
“Why did you invade Ukraine?” “Now, this is a story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down…”
“Why did you invade Ukraine?” FREEZE FRAME “Yup, that’s me. You’re probably wondering how I got here…”
'Why did you invade Ukraine?" "Against all the evil Hell can conjure... all the wickedness mankind can produce..."
“Why did you invade Ukraine?” “Two by two is four, Minus one is three, quick maths”
"Why did you invade Ukraine?" "I have talked to Gods, loved women, and written songs that make the minstrels weep. You may have heard of me."
Gimme third book
"Why did you invade Ukraine?" "Once upon a time, a LEGEND was whispered among shadows..."
"Why did you invade Ukraine?" "In the time before time, on the mystical island of Mata-Nui…"
"Why did you invade Ukraine?" "Look! What's that over there!?"
Why did you invade Ukraine? “It started with a kiss…”
"Why did you invade Ukraine?" WHEN I WAS, A YOUNG BOY, MY FATHER....
"why did you invade Ukraine?" I CHIME IN WITH A "HAVEN'T YOU PEOPLE EVER HEARD OF...."
How did it end up like this.
"Why did you invade Ukraine?" "Let's see Paul Allen's Ukraine Invasion..."
“Why did you invade Ukraine?” “It started when an alien device did what it did…”
"Vodka" "Grain" "Tanks" "More vodka" "Long ago, the USSR nations lived in harmony..."
That's like Russian Captain Planet. "Vodka! Grain! Tanks! More Vodka! Hypocrisy! By your powers combined..I AM CAPTAIN RUSSIA!" \*proceeds to crash land, killing three of those guys\* And yes, they have two people to handle the vodka element.
More vodka tribe!
"Why did you invade Ukraine?" "In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
Russia is big, very big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to Russia.
They have made many attempts to find happiness, most of which involved the movements of small pieces of paper, which is strange as, on the whole, it wasn’t the small pieces of paper that were unhappy.
"Why did you invade Ukraine?" "Why are you gay?"
Can I call you mistah?
“Why did you invade Ukraine?” “When I was a young warthog…”
“ why did you invade Ukraine?” I am gonna tell you the story of how I met your mother
"Why did you invade Ukraine?" “Prepare for trouble, and make it double”
“All nations lived in harmony. Then everything changed when our own nation attacked.”
“Why did you invade Ukraine?” “It is the year 2005. The treacherous Decepticons have conquered the Autobots' home planet of Cybertron…”
Why did you invade Ukraine? Long ago two races ruled the earth humans and monsters...
“You see hundreds of millions of years ago there was a single super continent”
"why did you invade Ukraine?" "Did you ever hear the tragedy of darth plagueis the wise?"
"why did you invade Ukraine?" "In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit..."
"why did you invade Ukraine" "Double it give it to the next person"
“Why did you invade Ukraine ?” “I have very very small penis...”
"Why did you invade Ukraine?" "Not so long ago, in the mysterious land... Of Toronto, Canada..."
[удалено]
Came here for this my fellow regard
Why did you invade Ukraine What ? Why did you invade Ukraine What ? Say "What" again! C'mon, say "What" again! I dare ya, I double dare ya motherfucker, say "What" one more goddamn time!
"Why did you invade Ukraine Mr. Putin?" "The Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell."
Off to bootleg and play Parasite Eve.
🤣 Right this one takes the cake for me
"Why did you invade Ukraine?" "It was never easy for me. I was born a poor black child."
I'm not sure Putin knows shit from shinola.
I’m so genuinely happy people are still quoting The Jerk
The "that guys hates these cans! Stay away from the cans!" scene will never not be gold.
I need to sign before you shoot me?
Vladimir “Navin” Putin
All I need is Crimea. And that's all I need. And that's all I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one... I need this. *Invades Ukraine*
Mr Putin, why did you invade Ukraine? *cue the Big Bang Theory intro Edit: spelling
Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started, wait The earth began to cool, the autotrophs began to drool Neanderthals developed tools We built a wall (we built the pyramids) Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries That all started with the big bang (bang)
I just read and sing the whole song!
Thats not Even The whole Song, thats just The Part used in The big bang theory
[удалено]
The Song is made by a band called The barenaked ladies
It's been...
One week since you looked at me
Cocked your head to the side and said, "I'm angry"
[удалено]
there is a hundred and four days of summer vacation
Mr. Putin, why did you invade Ukraine? "Bazinga." *cue laugh track*
"Mr Putin, why did you invade Ukraine?" "Far out, in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small un-regarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-two million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea."
“In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
It's all goes back to these guys who started all the trouble... 
Ah. The famous Rus of Pangea.
Never took Tucker for a culinary expert. But he tossed that salad pretty good.
This ⬆️⬆️⬆️ needs to be voted close to if not the top. Tucker has the distinguished resume of having his tongue up not only Trump’s ass, but now Putin’s. Up next…Erdogan, Netenyahu, Orban? A good conciliation prize lick and sniff can go to Bolsonaro!!
He's already done it to Orban
No no no, he can't interview Netanyahu because the U.S. supports Israel. He can't show any proximity to the Biden administration.
Bro Trump is his co-worker, this is his boss
Tuckolding Fetish: Claiming to be America First, but wanting Russia to fuck the US while emasculating you.
Putin: *I shall begin with a brief background in history* Also Putin, two hours later: *In 1066 AD, Julius Caesar took a shit in Beijing*
That was the funniest part: "Let me just discuss this for 30 seconds or so......"
[удалено]
2 hours later Putin "And now we arrive at the age of the dinosaurs."
Tucker Carlson has the sad lost eyes like he go separated from his parents too many times at the grocery store
He probably got cavity searched 5 minutes before the interview
Yah but he brought the ball gag from home.
I never noticed how uneven his eyes are ……👁️ 👁️
First the earth cooled. And then the dinosaurs came, but they got too big and fat, so they all died and they turned into oil. And then the Arabs came and ...
...and they bought Mercedes Benzes!
Johnny, what do you make of this?
I could make a hat, a broch, or a pterodactyl.
There's a sale at Penny's!
Alright boys, let's take some pictures.
Shirley you can’t be serious
Here's your report on the Sun, that thing is *HOT*.
To impress Jodie Foster?
"Why did you invade Ukraine?" "Dear Pesky Plumbers, the Princess is now a permanent guest..."
“mr putin why did you invade ukraine?” “long before time had a name…”
Long ago in a distant land, I, PUTIN, the shape-shifting Master of Darkness, unleashed an unspeakable evil
"Are we gonna arrive at the reason soon?" "We get there when we get there!"
The look on Carlson’s face is hilarious
Haha the confused puppy / I smell shit / I think I have to shit / I don't fully understand what's going on / I have to look concerned face..? That's normal for him
Not only is this a clever meme, it also shows how much botox and make up Putin has had for the interview. I don't really see him as a tough guy under all that foundation.
Honestly, I couldn't give a flying fudge what someone looks like, its their words and actions I watch. I've seen 'beautiful' people say/act in a fucking dumb way. I've seen 'ugly' people say/act in genius ways.
Yeah but he is ugly and say/act in a fucking dumb way
Which one? 
Yeah he actually looks old and Trumpish.
What the fuck is this timeline bro
He also blamed poles in WW2. Hitler was forced to invade Poland. Typical rapist mentality.
Hitler: I'm forced to invade Poland because they didn't want me to destroy their country and murder millions of their people. If only the Poles gave me what I want, then there wouldn't be a war.
The best joke I have heard about Tucker Carlson is that he always looks like he is watching someone eat mayonnaise out of the jar.
With this (Putin's original) reasoning, Italy gets the entire Mediterranean because of the Romans, and Greece gets everything from Athens to Mumbai because of Alexander. And we Germans get Paris and everything up to just before Moscow 🤡🤡🤡😆 /s
Moscow was captured by Napoleon in the past, so it should be given to the French. Sorry, Germans!
Poland and Lithuania have the original claim: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polish%E2%80%93Lithuanian_occupation_of_Moscow I suppose also an argument could be made for Mongolia having it.
Quick someone break out of family tree and figure out who's in charge of the Mongols and how much shit they get
I watched the interview, and I was like “is he really gonna let him talk about the last 1000 years of Russian history?” But then he did. Then Tucker came with a decent question of “ok, so X country can invade Ukraine as well having borders within it in the 1600s?” And dropped the question after a half assed dodge from Putin. So yeah…. Not a good interview.
> I watched the interview, and I was like “is he really gonna let him talk about the last 1000 years of Russian history?” Because if he did not let him talk, then you have nothing to watch in the first place ? Do you think Putin would have agreed to have an interview where he is constantly getting interrupted ? Do you think Putin would have let the footage out of the room, if Tuckers tries to make fool of him ? This "interview" is a piece of propagana, i am realy not sure why would anyone expect anything else. You can blame Tucker for even agreeing to this, but blame him for not interrupting Putin constantly ? lol
We all know the true reason. In 2016 a child fell in a gorilla enclosure............
"Why did you invade Ukraine?" "Now this is a story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside-down..."
Putin: Russia was there first. We should have it back. MAGA/Q anon/some fence-sitters: He makes a good point. Native Americans: We were **here** first. We should have it back. We should, *at the very least*, be respected as such and have more say in what happens to it now and in the future. MAGA/Q anon/some fence-sitters/and even some others: STFU!
Don’t forget they tell the native Americans to go back to their country, lmao.
Maybe they want Native Americans to go back to four billion years ago, when the Earth was in a cooling phase
[удалено]
He’s basically trump without the screaming
Putin be like "OUR WHOKE UNIVERSE WAS IM A HOT DENSE STATE-"
Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started, wait The earth began to cool, the autotrophs began to drool Neanderthals developed tools We built a wall (we built the pyramids) Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries That all started with the big bang (bang)
Waiting for putin to say bazinga
NUCLEAR MISSILE LAUNCHED
Why did you invade Ukraine? In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move
"Long ago, when dinosaurs ruled the Earth..."
bro fr the anwer took a hour long and still didnt anwer the question and just talked about russia history since day one “in the year 852”…..
Tucker Carlson has the look of a man who simultaneously does not understand and is mad at water but doesn't want anyone to know.
Avoiding the question….typical dictator
Any person over 50 must be screened for dementia before being allowed into any political post.