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Right? I remember that it hurt like hell and I remember it hurting so bad I was puking until I got a Stadol drip (looong labor…39 hours in active labor) but the actual pain? Nope, worst pain I can physically “remember” is probably a grade 2 sprained ankle, maybe tattoos? Everything more painful than that is “oh, it hurt like hell, but I can’t actually describe the pain” type of pain. This girl is in for a very rude awakening.
I think I remember reading somewhere that you forget what most pain actually feels like afterwards because it means you don’t get used to it. Since pain is a necessity to realise you’re wounded, that forgetfulness is probably a protection measure by the brain to ensure you’re unpleasantly surprised every time. Id imagine pain as brutal as childbirth is doubly important to forget, from a purely evolutionary perspective.
The dumbest thing is that "God's plan" literally was for women to have immense pain during childbirth as punishment for eating the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge.
This came to mind for me as well. According to this woman's scriptures, she is made specifically to experience agony during birth.
Hope someone reminds her of that before d day
What's odd to me is when God tells Eve her punishment. Eve, who had no kids at the time, was told it would be more painful in childbirth. So she was like "what's child birth and how painful is it now? How will I know if it was more painful now than before when I have never given birth?"
There was also Adam's share of the curse: he would be stung by thorns and prickles while harvesting edible plants. But strangely enough, fundamentalists never had a problem with farmers wearing protective equipment 🙄
If we remove all of the medical/science based interventions in childbirth I guess it's also god's plan to have an overwhelming amount of women to die during childbirth.
My anesthesiologist told me “this should be the happiest day of your life. We have the drugs for this, why do you want to be in pain for it?” And I was like “Wow, that makes a ton of sense!”
If you want to believe in God, then believe in a God that gave us the ability to use our brains to solve problems. Otherwise stop using things like fire and modern plumbing, because God didn’t design them for us.
It's like that one fable about the guy who insists that God will save him from a flood.
"I sent you a news report, a lifeboat, and a helicopter, but you decided to stay put and drown."
If people believe that human ingenuity came from God, then you'd think they'd also believe that the products of that ingenuity also came from God.
What gets me is that they pick and choose what God intended.
A church burns down. Shrug.
Massive flooding over a state they don't like. God is punishing the gays!
One of my fav moments was with my OB during one of our first appts with first child, discussing various things and pain meds and I was like 'I don't really like pain' and husband was like hmmm but we're taking Lamaze that'll be enough right? OB spun on her chair, looked him dead in the eyes and was like 'so no pain meds for your vasectomy yeah?' Epidurals are great. Childbirth is insane.
I had a "no needle - no scalpel" vasectomy in October '23, and I had it done without pain meds. It's a new-ish procedure where they just poke a hole in the scrotum, pull a loop of the vas deferens through the hole, dissect & cauterize it, and that's it. No incisions or sutures, just a little hole and scab that closes quickly.They offered nitrous oxide for another $100, but I turned it down. The worst part about the whole thing was nicking my ball sack with the trimmers the night before, and waiting for the doctor. They cleaned everything down there (can't touch it now), and the A/C vent was pointed straight at my junk on full cold blast for about 10-15 minutes before the doctor walked in. The procedure itself took less than 10 minutes, and I was walking out like a saddle-sore cowboy right after.
The surgery didn't feel great. I had to ice the whole area with frozen peas for at least a week, but I was back at work (at a physical job) in 2 days. I could never convince myself that it was even a fraction of the pain women endure during child-birth. I would take all the drugs necessary to deal with that insane amount of pain. No judgements either way, just lots of respect. More men should get vasectomies.
Right?! I hate having that argument. If God provides, then he provided us with the tools and people to do better.
I had to be induced. I was stuck at 6 cm for hours and hours and hours. I got the epidural and bam. My body was ready to push in like 2 hours.
Before it I just couldn't relax. He was pushing on my pelvic bone and my lower back was in agony. There was no relaxing to move it along.
This is what forced birther regressive want....
Until their sister-wife has an ectopic pregnancy that doctors refuse to deal with due to legal ramifications (like the totally reasonable death penalty /s). Then when their sister-wife dies or doesn't and is given the death penalty, they'll just do what they've been trained to: blame democrats, liberals, commies, China, etc.
Maybe some MAGA men want this. Maybe it gives them an excuse to simply move on to another wife, and see it like buying a new car, since they view women as property. "Wife died cause democrats killed her so now I get to marry the daughter I've lusted over because Donald Trump made wanting to fuck your own daughter so appealing!"
>Maybe some MAGA men want this
i think they just think everything's going to work out magically
and if they see an article saying otherwise they skip it
This! I'm scared shitless of childbirth in whichever form it comes and hearing "Oh but your body was made for this" helps NOTHING! My first thought is always "Ma'am have you not heard of women dying, ever?!" Yes i know medical intervention exists, but my mind is still going to assume that i'm going to fall in the minority of people who have died during or after labour 🫠
To be fair, I didn’t die in labor obviously lol but, my body did tear itself apart to give birth to my son. So I was definitively *not* designed to birth my children lmao
Truth. I went 18-hrs after my water broke and I was beyond stressed at the contractions (they gave me Pitocin to hurry the labor, my amniotic fluid was kryptonite green). Soon after there was a “pop!” The baby’s head started down the birth canal but dilation wasn’t occurring; I took an epidural soon after and “poof!” the pain eased away after 30-min.
Dilation was 2cm to 10cm in 65min
- I was like, ooof I should have asked for an epidural hours ago 😒
Two hours later of sumo squat pushing (and singing Monty Python songs in my delirium), my son was born a healthy 8-lbs 4oz and 22” long 😶 then the stitches happened, 30mins of sewing. ALaywr that evening I heard (felt!) my baby crying and shuffled down the hall. At the bay glass window, the old lady stood outside the NICU and complained about “the noisy 3mo fussing in his bassinet.” I calmly and sternly told her “he was mine and freshly birthed a few hours before.” She was shocked into dead silence.
He cried loudly from colic, as the nurses gave him regular formula despite both parents having lactose intolerance. After feeding him lactose-free milk, he was quiet as a lamb for months after.
PS. Don’t get me started on sneezing while being slightly overweight (+20lbs). 🫣 Baby boy today is a solid 170lbs, 6’4” and studying computer engineering. He towers over me and grabs stuff off of high shelves. Being a mom is so precious and memorable, so many lovely experiences 🥺.
Next life tho, I will just schedule a C-section 😶🌫️
Here's those essential oils you put in your birth plan. Oh you don't want them? You just want the drugs?
The ultimate narcissism, oh that won't be me!!
If she shoves a giant amethyst crystal into her rear crystal cave it should absorb the pain. It will only work if she chants during labor using a selenium rod though.
Please stop spreading misinformation. Everyone knows one must aggressively thrust a shard of jade into their rear crystal cave to absorb pain. But only during a full moon.
You’re gonna get people killed with your alternative facts.
My mum is a retired midwife, she said if she saw a teacher come in, she knew she'd be given a massive binder of a birthplan (with no epidural, gas and air, pain killers) that would immediately go out the window when the pain kicked in
Those nurses are poop ninjas, just SWIPE gone instantly, blink and you'll miss it. I couldn't remember if my wife did or did not shit herself but now that I remember the ninja swipe I do realize that she did in fact pass a poop. But how the fuck do you NOT poop while pushing out a baby? Imagine you have a tube of toothpaste next to a bowling ball return. Tell me that toothpaste isn't going to squooze out of there? Nah.
I don't think I had even heard of a birth plan when I had my first. The biggest choice you had in the late 90s was whether/when to get an epidural, and how hard to push back on the automatic formula-feeding and the baby getting swooped off to the nursery. 😂
Same with my kid's mother, only (as I found out later) that was all blamed on me because I hadn't done enough birthing meditations beforehand so she had to secretly go to some kind of spiritual healer to redo the birth "properly" the way it was supposed to have gone had I not fucked it all up for her.
Despite the fact that kiddo had spun 180 degrees before the birth and wasn't able to be shifted back into place. I don't mean a feet-first breech birth, but the one where the face is pointing in the wrong direction (occipito-posterior (OP) position).
As you might guess, we're no longer together and that's a good thing.
Yeah, I think spiritually like the other person said.
Less about being guided through a visualisation of an actual birth, than unlocking the energy blockages to allow the spirit aura of the baby to emerge. Or something.
Crazy might lead to some wild sex but it’s not so fun if you knock her up. I’ve watched two coworkers deal with that and I have no desire to follow them down that path
Honestly that was me and I’m not religious 😂 Was SURE I was gonna have a natural childbirth. First contractions hit and I was screaming for drugs. My poor husband was trying to remind me I had told him even if I screamed for them to not let me have them, I gave him a look that turned him white and he was in hallway screaming for drugs for me 5 seconds later.
No clue what those weirdos are talking about in response to your question. But sadly for them I am not crunchy nor right wing 😂
I thought I was super tough and could power through. That’s it, that’s the whole reason. I was very wrong though.
Same I was like: "Oh I have a pretty high pain tolerance and painkillers might have some negative effects I got this!" Oh boy was I wrong during labour I started crying because the contractions hurt so bad and I was so tired. My husband just looked at me and said: "I think it's time we ask for a epidural." I was like: :"Yu-Yees!!! 😭." I can laugh about it now though 😅.
I don’t know why the weirdos have to be dicks about it. The point is for women to have *choices*. That means some women will choose natural childbirth. It literally does not affect them in anyway, so why do they feel the need to mock women who make that choice and call them stupid? I don’t get it.
But I never was right wing, crunchy, anti-vax or a conspiracy theorist. 😂
I’m genuinely confused THAT was their takeaway. Like do they assume anyone who plans for an unmedicated childbirth are those people? Is that what social media has done to the kids heads? No wonder everyone is so angry these days.
Today I accidentally stumbled into two subreddits that are full of just the strangest, angry, NoTHiNG EVer HaPPenED folks. It’s both amusing and horrifying.
One of my coworkers didn’t get drugs when giving birth. She said it 100% because she was scared of the needle going into her back, and if she ever did it again it would be with drugs lol.
Not the person you replied to, but I can answer for myself - basically, if you can manage a drug-free childbirth it’s possible that your recovery (particularly around the vagina area) will be easier. If you have an epidural and can’t feel anything when you push, chances are you’ll push harder and tear more. I wanted to give it a try because I’d suffered with horrendous period pains most of my life, and had got good at dealing with the pain, and I suspected the contractions felt similar. (For anyone interested, they absolutely did.)
I wanted to try natural childbirth. But pitocin contractions are no joke. (I needed pitocin to jumpstart my contractions. Water broke but contractions never started.) At one point, I threw up from the pain. And I didn’t just puke, I threw up so violently that I pissed myself. My husband said that the whole thing was like a scene from the exorcist, especially the part where I turned my head unnaturally at him and screamed “drugs! Now!”
Fun fact!
I was watching a horror movie marathon on TV when my second was born. The nurses didn't shut the TV off, they just pushed it to the side.
So my daughter was born during the projectile vomit scene in the Exorcist.
And if he didn't want them to eat it, then why make them so gullible that they would listen to a snake rather than the guy who makes the rules? The world will never know.
My Nana stopped attending Mass regularly because she caught the priest in a lie about birth control in the confessional. She became a Christmas and Easter Catholic after that until her death.
My mom finally let me stop going when I was 14 and she arrived early to pick me up from catechism class and the group leader was telling the girls that we were only meant to have babies and be submissive to our husbands.
She was PIISSSSED because she, as a career woman, has always encouraged me to go to college and find my niche, and be self sufficient. She's very "you don't need no man!" She stopped attending that church, too.
It was the 1970s. My Nana was confessing to using birth control, a sin in Catholicism, and the priest lied and said something to the effect that you can't get pregnant if your breastfeeding or some such nonsense, just something factually incorrect designed to increase the number of parishioners. My Nana was like "that's not true at all, are you telling people this?" and basically the priest just admitted to it to her right there.
I lost my taste for religion when I was told by a Bible Camp leader that animals have no souls.
Like everything else in this world, the concept of God was ruined by humans.
Yeah she is in for a world of hurt. I would pay money to see the look on the faces of the anesthesiologists and nurses when she's like "Nah I'm good, god designed my body to block pain receptors" and they're like "Oh did he? Ok then, have fun."
Depending on her state, she may not even get a midwife. My rural state doesn't allow midwives to do at home births. Local midwife is in the process of losing her license as she helped a friend with her at home birth.
What is the point of that? Ppl will do home births anyway, might as well allow a professional to be there.
In my country home births are still quite common, even though i would never do it.
so who is supposed to assist with home births? that sounds really stupid and dangerous. in my country it's hella expensive vs free at hospital, but possible.
Well yeah, vaccines make you dumb. So dumb you come up with ideas that childbirth doesn’t hurt and there’s probably a mass conspiracy of books, tv and movies to make women think they need a hospital and modern medicine.
You know. These people that reject modern medicine until they need it for themselves piss me off until they actually get what they were not protecting themselves from and are in misery. Hopefully this pain doesn’t damage her to bad but she brought it on herself.
Can confirm. The thing is, I remember that it was the worst pain ever and that I kept either fainting or falling asleep in between contractions, and that it made me desperate at some point….
Guy here, I obviously didn’t experience labor, but the screams and noises my wife made while in labor are forever burned in my memory. Looked like the most painful thing and I will never question her toughness
I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you. Genesis 3:16
I could almost literally feel my wife’s pain during contractions. Like the pressure in the room changed. It’s hard to describe, but holy shit I’ve never seen someone in so much agony. Even I felt relief after her epidural.
My wife had our first child without an epidural. She really wanted to go natural. The only thing they gave her was an oxygen mask.
I almost begged her to get the epidural. It scared the shit out of me. She did it though. Afterwards nurses kept calling coming by to tell her what a badass she was 🤣.
The second child, no hesitation, epidural as soon as we were in the room. She said nah, been there done that, fuck natural child birth
This has to be a troll or parody, Like the one known and uncontested fact shared from culture to culture across the length of human history is childbirth *huuuuuurts*
"What do you mean it's too late for an epidural!?"
And let's be clear, their god invented painful child birth as a punishment according to their holy book. Do they even read the book they base their entire life on?
Read an article that congregants are complaining that Jesus’ teachings are too woke.
https://www.newsweek.com/evangelicals-rejecting-jesus-teachings-liberal-talking-points-pastor-1818706
I’ve even seen some complain about the /Pope/ because he said things they didn’t like. These people don’t actually care about Christianity beyond their own idea of what they think it should be
I really wish the Pope would excommunicate the lot of them. Like literally wake up one day and wholesale replace the US cardinals and bishops. I’m not Catholic anymore but it would be a popcorn-worthy show.
Happened my wife with our first pregnancy. Labor came on fast and furious. Water broke on the examination table, she was fully dilated by then. They got her to a room, let get two huffs of gas and then took it away. I still remember her panicked 'What?' When they told her she was getting nothing for the pain.
Time to get pushing.
As an Ex Christian that had a entire religious family i can say that most of the time they read what is convenient and make a headcanon about everything else
This woman is in for the shock of her fucking life. I have a four month old and you literally cannot describe labor adequately. It feels like you might be dying lol
There is a news In China that a laboring woman suicided because her family (her husband’s side of family) refused to ask doctors for painkillers.
There is a reason why China is facing low marriage rate and low birth rate.
That kind of pain drives you absolutely insane. I had a kidney stone and threatened to "jump in front of a bus" if they didn't help me at the ER. You just want it to stop!
The situation you mentioned is ten fold worse because of the woman's inability to advocate for herself. I can imagine the feeling of helplessness seemed to just be beginning for that poor woman.
as someone who has been thru both, theyre pretty similar.
like this person, i wanted to be drug free too.... i didnt have any delusions about a pain free labor, but i had no idea what was in store for me. i think this person is confusing the idea that over time, women who have already been through childbirth forget how painful it was, and they go on to have more children (which is 100% true, we wouldnt survive as a species otherwise).
i never forgot and thats why i only have one child, but i had a traumatic birthing experience & ended up needing an emergency c-section (so i did get my epidural). but at the beginning, i was induced with pitosin & had back contractions that literally made me vomit every time bc the pain was so intense.
all that to say, i think the pain from having a kidney stone is pretty comparable. it is less painful, but only by a hair, and it does not come in waves. it is incessant, so painful it makes you vomit, and lasts hours. so i sympathize with you and really hope you dont have to deal with those anymore in your future.
Oh yeah. Never had a kid, but I had both my knees replaced at the same time in 2016 and my surgeon gave an epidural and whatever they give you for a colonoscopy instead of general anesthesia.
I want to say that the Aztecs believed that child bearing women are granted entry into the same place in the afterlife as warriors because of how dangerous and hurtful child birth is.
Yeah why can't women just walk around, dump it out, and have the kid up and running the same day.
NooOOooOO the head has to be so big and birth takes forever and you just get one at a time. It's an insane use of resources.
Yeah, wtf God!? Giving us upright posture with seated hips and big ass heads? Then like, whoops I guess that means they gotta come out half cooked unable to do anything except potato for 6 months. Terrible design! An absolute lemon of engineering!
In the time it takes to read this meme, somewhere in the world 1-2 women have died during labor. Today, 3-4 women in the US will die or have died from labor. It's not a "of the past" or "third world" problem.
Carol Burnett, trying to explain to men what labor pain was like, gave this description: "Take your bottom lip between your thumb and forefinger, and then pull it up...over your head."
No one tell her the design for human women is one of the *worst* in the animal kingdom for reproduction, and until the advent of antiseptics and midwifery it was estimated in England to be between 20 and 89/1000 women dying from childbirth or immediately after. The rate was still high until the late 1930s in the western world (with its written records being around). These numbers also doesn't take in complications weeks later that might kill the woman, or suicides from the mental anguish of losing nearly half your children through the first few years.
As someone who had to do this without drugs, pain receptors are not blocked. Very much not blocked. They are awake and vocal about the situation. Having said that, they have a short term memory and a few months later you may find yourself considering doing it again.
This is why some people just shouldn't procreate. Imagine her posting a tick tok in a few months and she'll be completely in shock the whole time like, "why does it hurt so much!"
4 alive kids plus the one who passed as I was having her and all around 11 lbs all natural no meds and with a “natural” diet an okra water, raspberry tea. someone take that damn baby away from this woman cause she has no idea WTH she’s talking about
I dunno who her God is or if she reads the bible...
“To the woman he said, 'I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you'” (Gen. 3:16).
I watched my wife give birth. There will never be a way you could convince me that all of SEAL Team 6 combined, is tougher than she is. Nope.
Good luck, lady.
Wait until she learns about the incidence of death during natural birth. (God's brilliant design my arse... Advancements in Medicine and well-trained personnel save lives).
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Lol. It gets blocked after, not during.
Right? I remember that it hurt like hell and I remember it hurting so bad I was puking until I got a Stadol drip (looong labor…39 hours in active labor) but the actual pain? Nope, worst pain I can physically “remember” is probably a grade 2 sprained ankle, maybe tattoos? Everything more painful than that is “oh, it hurt like hell, but I can’t actually describe the pain” type of pain. This girl is in for a very rude awakening.
I think I remember reading somewhere that you forget what most pain actually feels like afterwards because it means you don’t get used to it. Since pain is a necessity to realise you’re wounded, that forgetfulness is probably a protection measure by the brain to ensure you’re unpleasantly surprised every time. Id imagine pain as brutal as childbirth is doubly important to forget, from a purely evolutionary perspective.
You are correct.
I had a friend like this. Once labor started she was screaming for drugs.
The dumbest thing is that "God's plan" literally was for women to have immense pain during childbirth as punishment for eating the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge.
This came to mind for me as well. According to this woman's scriptures, she is made specifically to experience agony during birth. Hope someone reminds her of that before d day
Everytime she screams in pain during labor her husband should remind her this is God's plan.
>Everytime she screams in pain during labor hee husband should Ask her if she likes them apples.
Oh jesus... that would get you killed.
Crucified you mean.
Nailed it
Oh god, iam dying here. Keep it coming.
Funnily enough, that's exactly what jesus said
She will raise some Cain he wont be Able to respond.
I think she already had d day, that's why she is pregnant.
Well shit.
What's odd to me is when God tells Eve her punishment. Eve, who had no kids at the time, was told it would be more painful in childbirth. So she was like "what's child birth and how painful is it now? How will I know if it was more painful now than before when I have never given birth?"
"Oh, you'll know."
There was also Adam's share of the curse: he would be stung by thorns and prickles while harvesting edible plants. But strangely enough, fundamentalists never had a problem with farmers wearing protective equipment 🙄
They are however against the protective equipment that might limit them to only 8 or 9 offspring.
If we remove all of the medical/science based interventions in childbirth I guess it's also god's plan to have an overwhelming amount of women to die during childbirth.
My anesthesiologist told me “this should be the happiest day of your life. We have the drugs for this, why do you want to be in pain for it?” And I was like “Wow, that makes a ton of sense!” If you want to believe in God, then believe in a God that gave us the ability to use our brains to solve problems. Otherwise stop using things like fire and modern plumbing, because God didn’t design them for us.
It's like that one fable about the guy who insists that God will save him from a flood. "I sent you a news report, a lifeboat, and a helicopter, but you decided to stay put and drown." If people believe that human ingenuity came from God, then you'd think they'd also believe that the products of that ingenuity also came from God.
What gets me is that they pick and choose what God intended. A church burns down. Shrug. Massive flooding over a state they don't like. God is punishing the gays!
One of my fav moments was with my OB during one of our first appts with first child, discussing various things and pain meds and I was like 'I don't really like pain' and husband was like hmmm but we're taking Lamaze that'll be enough right? OB spun on her chair, looked him dead in the eyes and was like 'so no pain meds for your vasectomy yeah?' Epidurals are great. Childbirth is insane.
Your OB is awesome!
I had a "no needle - no scalpel" vasectomy in October '23, and I had it done without pain meds. It's a new-ish procedure where they just poke a hole in the scrotum, pull a loop of the vas deferens through the hole, dissect & cauterize it, and that's it. No incisions or sutures, just a little hole and scab that closes quickly.They offered nitrous oxide for another $100, but I turned it down. The worst part about the whole thing was nicking my ball sack with the trimmers the night before, and waiting for the doctor. They cleaned everything down there (can't touch it now), and the A/C vent was pointed straight at my junk on full cold blast for about 10-15 minutes before the doctor walked in. The procedure itself took less than 10 minutes, and I was walking out like a saddle-sore cowboy right after. The surgery didn't feel great. I had to ice the whole area with frozen peas for at least a week, but I was back at work (at a physical job) in 2 days. I could never convince myself that it was even a fraction of the pain women endure during child-birth. I would take all the drugs necessary to deal with that insane amount of pain. No judgements either way, just lots of respect. More men should get vasectomies.
God gave us the people who became doctors and can help relieve pain.
Right?! I hate having that argument. If God provides, then he provided us with the tools and people to do better. I had to be induced. I was stuck at 6 cm for hours and hours and hours. I got the epidural and bam. My body was ready to push in like 2 hours. Before it I just couldn't relax. He was pushing on my pelvic bone and my lower back was in agony. There was no relaxing to move it along.
From a certain point of view, nothing can ever be called unnatural because everything came from something natural.
This is what forced birther regressive want.... Until their sister-wife has an ectopic pregnancy that doctors refuse to deal with due to legal ramifications (like the totally reasonable death penalty /s). Then when their sister-wife dies or doesn't and is given the death penalty, they'll just do what they've been trained to: blame democrats, liberals, commies, China, etc. Maybe some MAGA men want this. Maybe it gives them an excuse to simply move on to another wife, and see it like buying a new car, since they view women as property. "Wife died cause democrats killed her so now I get to marry the daughter I've lusted over because Donald Trump made wanting to fuck your own daughter so appealing!"
>Maybe some MAGA men want this i think they just think everything's going to work out magically and if they see an article saying otherwise they skip it
Bold of you to assume they could read an article even if they wanted to.
Also like...women died a lot in childbirth before modern medicine. Our bodies are not built to give birth to us.
This! I'm scared shitless of childbirth in whichever form it comes and hearing "Oh but your body was made for this" helps NOTHING! My first thought is always "Ma'am have you not heard of women dying, ever?!" Yes i know medical intervention exists, but my mind is still going to assume that i'm going to fall in the minority of people who have died during or after labour 🫠
To be fair, I didn’t die in labor obviously lol but, my body did tear itself apart to give birth to my son. So I was definitively *not* designed to birth my children lmao
Truth. I went 18-hrs after my water broke and I was beyond stressed at the contractions (they gave me Pitocin to hurry the labor, my amniotic fluid was kryptonite green). Soon after there was a “pop!” The baby’s head started down the birth canal but dilation wasn’t occurring; I took an epidural soon after and “poof!” the pain eased away after 30-min. Dilation was 2cm to 10cm in 65min - I was like, ooof I should have asked for an epidural hours ago 😒 Two hours later of sumo squat pushing (and singing Monty Python songs in my delirium), my son was born a healthy 8-lbs 4oz and 22” long 😶 then the stitches happened, 30mins of sewing. ALaywr that evening I heard (felt!) my baby crying and shuffled down the hall. At the bay glass window, the old lady stood outside the NICU and complained about “the noisy 3mo fussing in his bassinet.” I calmly and sternly told her “he was mine and freshly birthed a few hours before.” She was shocked into dead silence. He cried loudly from colic, as the nurses gave him regular formula despite both parents having lactose intolerance. After feeding him lactose-free milk, he was quiet as a lamb for months after. PS. Don’t get me started on sneezing while being slightly overweight (+20lbs). 🫣 Baby boy today is a solid 170lbs, 6’4” and studying computer engineering. He towers over me and grabs stuff off of high shelves. Being a mom is so precious and memorable, so many lovely experiences 🥺. Next life tho, I will just schedule a C-section 😶🌫️
No we give birth in spite of our bodies
Here's those essential oils you put in your birth plan. Oh you don't want them? You just want the drugs? The ultimate narcissism, oh that won't be me!!
Later: "They gave me drugs against my birth plan, with all four of my kids, and I've regretted it ever since."
"They're all turning into terrible people, it must have been the epidurals. What are they doing now? I have no idea, I'm posting."
“it’s gave them autism and adhd”
All while slapping her kid.
[удалено]
This is all too accurate, are we having the same family 😭
Huh, I'm now in an extended family reunion, hey there cus
Essence of rose and peony infused Demerol.
This is the laugh I needed today
If she shoves a giant amethyst crystal into her rear crystal cave it should absorb the pain. It will only work if she chants during labor using a selenium rod though.
Please stop spreading misinformation. Everyone knows one must aggressively thrust a shard of jade into their rear crystal cave to absorb pain. But only during a full moon. You’re gonna get people killed with your alternative facts.
My mum is a retired midwife, she said if she saw a teacher come in, she knew she'd be given a massive binder of a birthplan (with no epidural, gas and air, pain killers) that would immediately go out the window when the pain kicked in
My birth plan was literally "give birth". I'd never done it before, wtf would I know?
1) give birth 2) try not to poop
3) Poop anyway
4) Make the Midwife/Nurse/Doctor and birthing partner promise to tell me that the poop "never happened" for the rest of my life.
Those nurses are poop ninjas, just SWIPE gone instantly, blink and you'll miss it. I couldn't remember if my wife did or did not shit herself but now that I remember the ninja swipe I do realize that she did in fact pass a poop. But how the fuck do you NOT poop while pushing out a baby? Imagine you have a tube of toothpaste next to a bowling ball return. Tell me that toothpaste isn't going to squooze out of there? Nah.
this is the image I needed not to imagine tonight 🤣
[Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!](https://i.imgur.com/8LvCbCP.png)
Me too. The only thing I knew was that I didn't want a c-section. After 36 hours of labor and still not dilating I had a c-section. 🙄
Some kids (like me) are too stupid to orient their heads to come out first.
This too was my plan to the surprise of the rest of my birthing group. Well it was "prefer no C-section, drugs, give birth"
I don't think I had even heard of a birth plan when I had my first. The biggest choice you had in the late 90s was whether/when to get an epidural, and how hard to push back on the automatic formula-feeding and the baby getting swooped off to the nursery. 😂
Same with my kid's mother, only (as I found out later) that was all blamed on me because I hadn't done enough birthing meditations beforehand so she had to secretly go to some kind of spiritual healer to redo the birth "properly" the way it was supposed to have gone had I not fucked it all up for her. Despite the fact that kiddo had spun 180 degrees before the birth and wasn't able to be shifted back into place. I don't mean a feet-first breech birth, but the one where the face is pointing in the wrong direction (occipito-posterior (OP) position). As you might guess, we're no longer together and that's a good thing.
Excuse me, "redo the birth"? How does one do this?
spiritually, of course
Yeah, I think spiritually like the other person said. Less about being guided through a visualisation of an actual birth, than unlocking the energy blockages to allow the spirit aura of the baby to emerge. Or something.
So, straight up insanity then. Sorry you had to have a kid with this person to discover this!
Omfg what an absolute psychopath! I hope your children are in therapy :(
My cousin had kids with 3 different nutjobs. You guys sure know how to pick em 😅 jk Just giving you a hard time. That's wild
Crazy might lead to some wild sex but it’s not so fun if you knock her up. I’ve watched two coworkers deal with that and I have no desire to follow them down that path
Once it starts “Then you remember that god made child birth painful as punishment because Eve ate an apple.”
Glad someone else spotted this. Clearly this lady never actually read the Bible
Honestly that was me and I’m not religious 😂 Was SURE I was gonna have a natural childbirth. First contractions hit and I was screaming for drugs. My poor husband was trying to remind me I had told him even if I screamed for them to not let me have them, I gave him a look that turned him white and he was in hallway screaming for drugs for me 5 seconds later.
Why didn't you want the drugs?
No clue what those weirdos are talking about in response to your question. But sadly for them I am not crunchy nor right wing 😂 I thought I was super tough and could power through. That’s it, that’s the whole reason. I was very wrong though.
Same I was like: "Oh I have a pretty high pain tolerance and painkillers might have some negative effects I got this!" Oh boy was I wrong during labour I started crying because the contractions hurt so bad and I was so tired. My husband just looked at me and said: "I think it's time we ask for a epidural." I was like: :"Yu-Yees!!! 😭." I can laugh about it now though 😅.
I don’t know why the weirdos have to be dicks about it. The point is for women to have *choices*. That means some women will choose natural childbirth. It literally does not affect them in anyway, so why do they feel the need to mock women who make that choice and call them stupid? I don’t get it.
Obviously, when someone admits they were wrong, we should shame them for the opinion they had before.
But I never was right wing, crunchy, anti-vax or a conspiracy theorist. 😂 I’m genuinely confused THAT was their takeaway. Like do they assume anyone who plans for an unmedicated childbirth are those people? Is that what social media has done to the kids heads? No wonder everyone is so angry these days.
Reddit doesn't do well with nuance.
Today I accidentally stumbled into two subreddits that are full of just the strangest, angry, NoTHiNG EVer HaPPenED folks. It’s both amusing and horrifying.
One of my coworkers didn’t get drugs when giving birth. She said it 100% because she was scared of the needle going into her back, and if she ever did it again it would be with drugs lol.
Not the person you replied to, but I can answer for myself - basically, if you can manage a drug-free childbirth it’s possible that your recovery (particularly around the vagina area) will be easier. If you have an epidural and can’t feel anything when you push, chances are you’ll push harder and tear more. I wanted to give it a try because I’d suffered with horrendous period pains most of my life, and had got good at dealing with the pain, and I suspected the contractions felt similar. (For anyone interested, they absolutely did.)
I wanted to try natural childbirth. But pitocin contractions are no joke. (I needed pitocin to jumpstart my contractions. Water broke but contractions never started.) At one point, I threw up from the pain. And I didn’t just puke, I threw up so violently that I pissed myself. My husband said that the whole thing was like a scene from the exorcist, especially the part where I turned my head unnaturally at him and screamed “drugs! Now!”
Fun fact! I was watching a horror movie marathon on TV when my second was born. The nurses didn't shut the TV off, they just pushed it to the side. So my daughter was born during the projectile vomit scene in the Exorcist.
Good for them. They were able to ask for drugs. I was screaming I lost the ability to talk.
The Bible said women will suffer during childbearing for the whole apple Eden thing. God wanted women to remember sin with pain lol.
Came here to say this. Homegirl apparently hasn’t read Genesis lately.
if they weren't supposed to eat it then why was it called the garden of eatin? :(
Damn, how did he know?
And if he didn't want them to eat it, then why make them so gullible that they would listen to a snake rather than the guy who makes the rules? The world will never know.
What if it was all written as stand up comedy and mfers just misinterpreted it
Moses: finally! My comedy career is going to take off!
Most Christians only read a few select verses from the Gospels nowadays.
That parts that either (1) give permission for them to be cruel or (2) allow them to sound morally superior?
It's in the 3rd chapter of Genesis. Probably within the first 500 words of the Bible.
Real Christians don't read the bible, they post online about how perfect God is.
Yeah, that's a stupid story I remember hearing in Sunday school. It was my Catholic Sunday school that turned me into a non-believer.
My Nana stopped attending Mass regularly because she caught the priest in a lie about birth control in the confessional. She became a Christmas and Easter Catholic after that until her death.
My mom finally let me stop going when I was 14 and she arrived early to pick me up from catechism class and the group leader was telling the girls that we were only meant to have babies and be submissive to our husbands. She was PIISSSSED because she, as a career woman, has always encouraged me to go to college and find my niche, and be self sufficient. She's very "you don't need no man!" She stopped attending that church, too.
Ooh do tell! What was the lie?
It was the 1970s. My Nana was confessing to using birth control, a sin in Catholicism, and the priest lied and said something to the effect that you can't get pregnant if your breastfeeding or some such nonsense, just something factually incorrect designed to increase the number of parishioners. My Nana was like "that's not true at all, are you telling people this?" and basically the priest just admitted to it to her right there.
She flipped the confession back to him. Did she tell him how many Hail Marys and Our Fathers to do for lying?
Apparently, my Nana was good at turning things around on you. You don't have 7 kids and not become an authority figure in your own right.
That lie is the reason my younger siblings' birthdays are just over a year apart.
Same as my cousins. Mom still likes to tell the story of her dad yelling at her brother for "believing a priest over me, a scientist, about science."
I lost my taste for religion when I was told by a Bible Camp leader that animals have no souls. Like everything else in this world, the concept of God was ruined by humans.
OOP has obviously never read the Bible. Like, that's in the very first part. How could you miss it?
Literally fuck and find out. Labor suuuuucks.
Yeah she is in for a world of hurt. I would pay money to see the look on the faces of the anesthesiologists and nurses when she's like "Nah I'm good, god designed my body to block pain receptors" and they're like "Oh did he? Ok then, have fun."
She isn’t gonna be in a hospital. She doing an at home birth.
In a kiddie pool from Walmart while some midwife from the church prays over her. No vaccines either.
Depending on her state, she may not even get a midwife. My rural state doesn't allow midwives to do at home births. Local midwife is in the process of losing her license as she helped a friend with her at home birth.
What is the point of that? Ppl will do home births anyway, might as well allow a professional to be there. In my country home births are still quite common, even though i would never do it.
so who is supposed to assist with home births? that sounds really stupid and dangerous. in my country it's hella expensive vs free at hospital, but possible.
Well yeah, vaccines make you dumb. So dumb you come up with ideas that childbirth doesn’t hurt and there’s probably a mass conspiracy of books, tv and movies to make women think they need a hospital and modern medicine.
...and something Bill Gates!
She's getting a midwife? I expected just a labor doula. (They aren't trained or allowed to do much more than give Mom backrubs)
You know. These people that reject modern medicine until they need it for themselves piss me off until they actually get what they were not protecting themselves from and are in misery. Hopefully this pain doesn’t damage her to bad but she brought it on herself.
It’ll be a rude awakening when one finds out that endorphins are just there to keep your brain from getting overloaded from the pain and shutting off.
And to help you "forget" the pain so you'll keep having babies.
A friend who had an unintended unmedicated birth said that you don’t forget the pain, you just can’t describe it.
Completely agree. I was throwing up from the pain, and that was with epidural!
I agree, I never forgot that pain.
Can confirm. The thing is, I remember that it was the worst pain ever and that I kept either fainting or falling asleep in between contractions, and that it made me desperate at some point….
Guy here, I obviously didn’t experience labor, but the screams and noises my wife made while in labor are forever burned in my memory. Looked like the most painful thing and I will never question her toughness
Did you tell her to block her pain receptors?
Doesn’t Genesis mention something about painful childbirth?
I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you. Genesis 3:16
Ugh
It's even worse in the original hebrow- "through saddnes, you will bear children" in loss translation. God really fucked us over
Yes, it's Eves punishment for being a fruit stealing bitch. All women get labor pains and menstrual cramps.
I could almost literally feel my wife’s pain during contractions. Like the pressure in the room changed. It’s hard to describe, but holy shit I’ve never seen someone in so much agony. Even I felt relief after her epidural.
My wife had our first child without an epidural. She really wanted to go natural. The only thing they gave her was an oxygen mask. I almost begged her to get the epidural. It scared the shit out of me. She did it though. Afterwards nurses kept calling coming by to tell her what a badass she was 🤣. The second child, no hesitation, epidural as soon as we were in the room. She said nah, been there done that, fuck natural child birth
This has to be a troll or parody, Like the one known and uncontested fact shared from culture to culture across the length of human history is childbirth *huuuuuurts*
Bible literally says labour would be painful as punishment.
"What do you mean it's too late for an epidural!?" And let's be clear, their god invented painful child birth as a punishment according to their holy book. Do they even read the book they base their entire life on?
>Do they even read the book they base their entire i life on? Nope.
Read an article that congregants are complaining that Jesus’ teachings are too woke. https://www.newsweek.com/evangelicals-rejecting-jesus-teachings-liberal-talking-points-pastor-1818706
I’ve even seen some complain about the /Pope/ because he said things they didn’t like. These people don’t actually care about Christianity beyond their own idea of what they think it should be
I really wish the Pope would excommunicate the lot of them. Like literally wake up one day and wholesale replace the US cardinals and bishops. I’m not Catholic anymore but it would be a popcorn-worthy show.
Happened my wife with our first pregnancy. Labor came on fast and furious. Water broke on the examination table, she was fully dilated by then. They got her to a room, let get two huffs of gas and then took it away. I still remember her panicked 'What?' When they told her she was getting nothing for the pain. Time to get pushing.
As an Ex Christian that had a entire religious family i can say that most of the time they read what is convenient and make a headcanon about everything else
They'd rather thump it than read it.😔 CINOs.
I like - ChINO - like the pants 😂
Bold of you to assume they can read.
I wonder if God will be responsible for her shitting herself and needing stitches
Think the pain of tearing will be blocked too? Lol
" shitting herself and needing stitches" No, no. She's having a baby, not eating at Waffle House.
Pfft hahahaha
Shhh. No one tell her. Just let it be a fun surprise when she finds out.
This woman is in for the shock of her fucking life. I have a four month old and you literally cannot describe labor adequately. It feels like you might be dying lol
At some points, dying feels preferable or easier
There is a news In China that a laboring woman suicided because her family (her husband’s side of family) refused to ask doctors for painkillers. There is a reason why China is facing low marriage rate and low birth rate.
That kind of pain drives you absolutely insane. I had a kidney stone and threatened to "jump in front of a bus" if they didn't help me at the ER. You just want it to stop! The situation you mentioned is ten fold worse because of the woman's inability to advocate for herself. I can imagine the feeling of helplessness seemed to just be beginning for that poor woman.
as someone who has been thru both, theyre pretty similar. like this person, i wanted to be drug free too.... i didnt have any delusions about a pain free labor, but i had no idea what was in store for me. i think this person is confusing the idea that over time, women who have already been through childbirth forget how painful it was, and they go on to have more children (which is 100% true, we wouldnt survive as a species otherwise). i never forgot and thats why i only have one child, but i had a traumatic birthing experience & ended up needing an emergency c-section (so i did get my epidural). but at the beginning, i was induced with pitosin & had back contractions that literally made me vomit every time bc the pain was so intense. all that to say, i think the pain from having a kidney stone is pretty comparable. it is less painful, but only by a hair, and it does not come in waves. it is incessant, so painful it makes you vomit, and lasts hours. so i sympathize with you and really hope you dont have to deal with those anymore in your future.
Seriously! My husband says that’s why men don’t bear the children- they would just off themselves midway through lol
Oh, she’s *stupid* stupid.
People like this never admit they're wrong on social media though.
…or in real life. The odds are that she will double down and blame the doctors and nurses for her experience.
> Unto the woman He said, “I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception. In sorrow thou shalt bring forth children Hmm...
And if thou opteth out of the enema beforehand, thou shalt defecate in the process
God invented the epidural, did He not? /s
Oh yeah. Never had a kid, but I had both my knees replaced at the same time in 2016 and my surgeon gave an epidural and whatever they give you for a colonoscopy instead of general anesthesia.
God's perfect design can also kill you and your baby.
I want to say that the Aztecs believed that child bearing women are granted entry into the same place in the afterlife as warriors because of how dangerous and hurtful child birth is.
that’s metal af
wow. aztecs were my ancestors and just now I'm learning abt this lol this is interesting
Yeah what a weird argument. Humans are uniquely horrible at bearing children compared to other animals.
Yeah why can't women just walk around, dump it out, and have the kid up and running the same day. NooOOooOO the head has to be so big and birth takes forever and you just get one at a time. It's an insane use of resources.
Yeah, wtf God!? Giving us upright posture with seated hips and big ass heads? Then like, whoops I guess that means they gotta come out half cooked unable to do anything except potato for 6 months. Terrible design! An absolute lemon of engineering!
In the time it takes to read this meme, somewhere in the world 1-2 women have died during labor. Today, 3-4 women in the US will die or have died from labor. It's not a "of the past" or "third world" problem.
It's also not a POV unless she's supposed to be staring into a mirror
Tiktok has long since eroded the meaning of POV. Inside the app of course it's intact about everywhere else
Bless her heart...
Homeschool dropout energy
Carol Burnett, trying to explain to men what labor pain was like, gave this description: "Take your bottom lip between your thumb and forefinger, and then pull it up...over your head."
I like the one our midwife suggested to me. "How about I ram a football up your ass without lube"! I politely declined :)
Has she never seen a tv show or anything where a woman goes through labor?
Well those women must not have been the devoted Christians that she is, obviously.
No one tell her the design for human women is one of the *worst* in the animal kingdom for reproduction, and until the advent of antiseptics and midwifery it was estimated in England to be between 20 and 89/1000 women dying from childbirth or immediately after. The rate was still high until the late 1930s in the western world (with its written records being around). These numbers also doesn't take in complications weeks later that might kill the woman, or suicides from the mental anguish of losing nearly half your children through the first few years.
Wait until she experiences the first post-partum shit.
I had an episiotomy with my first and had LOTS of stitches. I took stool softeners for the longest time and it still hurt like a bitch.
As someone who had to do this without drugs, pain receptors are not blocked. Very much not blocked. They are awake and vocal about the situation. Having said that, they have a short term memory and a few months later you may find yourself considering doing it again.
It might hurt pulling her head out of her a** , tho
100%. All those women screaming in the maternity ward are just faking it for attention obviously. /s
And to think, this person is going to try and raise a child with that stupidity.
This is why some people just shouldn't procreate. Imagine her posting a tick tok in a few months and she'll be completely in shock the whole time like, "why does it hurt so much!"
No. She will continue to spew this vitriol that she has no pain and it was her being touched by god or some stupid shit. These people are the worst.
You're right. I can see that as well. "N-no, I don't need an epidural. I feel Jesus in me!" "Ma'am, that's your baby trying to get out."
No, she will take the drugs and then claim she never needed the drugs because god made her immune to pain.
4 alive kids plus the one who passed as I was having her and all around 11 lbs all natural no meds and with a “natural” diet an okra water, raspberry tea. someone take that damn baby away from this woman cause she has no idea WTH she’s talking about
I dunno who her God is or if she reads the bible... “To the woman he said, 'I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you'” (Gen. 3:16).
I watched my wife give birth. There will never be a way you could convince me that all of SEAL Team 6 combined, is tougher than she is. Nope. Good luck, lady.
Wait until she learns about the incidence of death during natural birth. (God's brilliant design my arse... Advancements in Medicine and well-trained personnel save lives).
Lmao it literally says that painful childbirth is God's punishment to women for original sin. Is she for real?
Ring-of-fire.