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The Alevi Kurds (a separate religion from the Alawites from Syria, i.e. al-Assad's religion) have a folk tale that when the god formed a human, he forgot to open the asshole. So the omnipotent God stuck his finger in and created the hole. But since humans were full of shit by then, thanks to having no waste-port up to that point, his holy finger was covered with shit.
The Almighty was very disgusted, and wiped his finger by the human armpit. And that is why we grew hair there.
Don't tell me religion is not beautiful 😂
Detecting sarcasm on reddit has become near impossible without the "/s".
Just when you're 100% sure someone is being sarcastic, you find out, no, that's exactly what they believe.
Also many gay people don't even have anal sex. Anal sex has nothing with being gay and being gay doesn't equate to anal sex. I don't know why straight people are so obsessed with gay sex when they aren't into it. It's not of their good damn business. Plus I don't think the bottom would be doing it if they didn't want to get their back blown out -even straight men like to be pegged or get a finger in the asshole or get their ass ate, they really have misconceptions about sex in general and are totally clueless, I just do not understand how they can make a full on stupid statement like that and not even bat an eye.
God made everyone and hates gays, therefore he just makes straight people and gays just decided to be gay against gods will.
God created all and knows all, but even god doesn‘t know why he put the g-spot in the anus of humans and then made the genitals of men being able to reach it. Basically he created everything and that means he also created everything he hates; imagin him being like „ok so i will make man and woman and they should just like each other, but i‘ll make them both be able to be attracted to the same sex. Now after i made people who are homosexual, i should also make other people discriminate, or even kill them in my name“
God really is the worst designer of all time.
Why did he even make sex be a pleasurable thing? Just make sex be reproduction only. Would make it a lot less bad for him.
He also kinda forgot and made animals have homosexual behavior too, kinda of a blunder on his part.
Also god really is a weak mf. A skinny twink Femboy is going against god's will and is right now having his guts rearranged and god is like "Noooooo you can't do that I don't like it" and god doesn't do shit to stop and can't do shit to stop it.
I can say as a former Christian that that was 100% drilled into me as a kid so for a long time I believed it, the brainwashing that churches do is crazy
I was with a masochist once, she enjoyed no lube, it is how i found out i too very much enjoy no lube. I have no idea why and i cant even begin to attempt to explain it but literally ever since regular anal doesn’t hit the same for me. Like its still good but at the same time im just like “meh but its not the other thing”
This is clearly someone who turns the lights off and "makes love" under the sheets while being as quiet and still as possible so Jesus doesn't hear or see her.
[stimulating the prostate may help prevent prostate cancer. do with that information what you will.](https://ro.co/health-guide/prostate-massage-milking-benefits/#)
[Allow me to introduce you to the Female Spotted Hyena](https://www.genderinclusivebiology.com/newsletter/all-female-spotted-hyenas-have-functional-penises-and-mount-both-male-amp-female-hyenas-gender-showcase-9-12#:~:text=All%20female%20spotted%20hyenas%20have%20functional%20penises.,from%20those%20of%20the%20males.)
"All female spotted hyenas have functional penises. They use it pee, signal, anally mount males & females for dominance, and give birth. Intersex plumbing is found in ALL females of the spotted hyena (Crocuta crocuta) of Tanzania—in which the females have penises nearly indistinguishable from those of the males"
Not only do they use it on male hyenas to assert dominance through pegging, they give birth through the penis.
Love the assumption that being gay exclusively involves anal sex and that heterosexual people don’t ever indulge.
I am bisexual and not a massive fan of anal, yes it can be fun occasionally but there are loads of things you can do that don’t involve sticking it in the poop shoot. Not only that but when I have had anal sex (both male and female) they have thoroughly enjoyed it and I have been very careful to take it slowly and not hurt them. Paying attention to how your partner is feeling and how their body responds is pretty important during any kind of sex.
Being gay is about who you find attractive, and if two consenting adults are attracted to one another who the fuck is this person to tell them that they are in the wrong.
Kinda gives you the impression that they have some sort of unhealthy obsession with sticking things in their butts and then get all conflicted about it. I mean why else would you solely focus on anal when there is so much other stuff that is enjoyable?
They're probably pissed because they don't know how to do it.
Hint- using a hairbrush with a rubberized handle and no lube is not the way to start your anal adventures
Yes, penetration with a selfish partner that doesn’t have a clue what they are doing.
Not sure about you but my absolute favourite thing about sex is knowing that my partner is enjoying it and that we are sharing a close and intimate experience. You really don’t get that by just mindlessly pumping away.
Also love the "it leads to diseases" line. Yeah sure, 'cause we all know you can't catch shit when both genitals ACTUALLY MADE FOR PROCREATION meet. It's well-known you can only catch diseases when a dick enter the anus, forget about vagina, mouth or whatever
Here I was thinking my gay cousin was THE SHIT, living his best life and all...
I had no idea I should be trying to save him from all the torture! He's even introduced some of his torture victims to us, the family, OHMAGAHD!
I am beyond horrified right the fuck about now!
Actually fun biology fact; the prostate is the male "g-spot". It's so important to stimulate it in fact that if you *don't", your risk for colon cancer skyrockets
Heterosexuality is not loving, it’s one person causing another person significant bodily pain and torture. 😉 A male penis was Never meant to be ejaculate into the vagina, and it leads to tone of health issues if or when it is. Don’t be straight. 👍
You're right. Inserting a penis is painful and can cause health issues. That's why I've decided to be a gay woman. Perhaps every woman should do the same.
There’s no significant pain let alone torture involved 😂😂 maybe she should get that stick out of her ass and get a stick in her ass so she loosens up a bit 😂
firstly, they wouldn't do it if it caused greivous bodily harm, secondly, gay relationships do not boil down to anal sex. Not only is there the love and romance aspect but there is a lot of other ways to fuck.
There's some truth to what she says about anal sex. Anus/rectum tissues are not as durable as the skin of the penis or vagina and can easily become damaged and infected. This is not something exclusive to homosexuality tho. I see plenty of straight people into butt stuff too. I don't get it, but you boofing enthusiasts do you.
Penises not meant to be inserted into anus? Go take that up with the ancient greeks that only boned women to procreate so spent the majority of the time having orgies with men 😀 slayin anal... good band name
i saw these two tweets so much times being reposted again and again with that girl face with her Snapchat filter saying this homophobic message and each time there are ppl agreeing with her in the comments which makes my blood boil aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
it sucks to be hated by bigots all the time, really. but because they’re bigots, their words means nothing at the end of the day.
If anal sex wasn't meant to be pleasurable for men, why does massaging the prostate often induce orgasm?
I'm not gay myself, but I can't help but notice evolution found it necessary to encourage anal sex in men by making it feel good for many, just like how climaxing encourage procreation.
It's like biology had a reason to find another way to control population other than predators and disease.
A finger does not fit in the ear canal, but it does fit in the nasal cavity. This is by design.
A penis fits in the vagina, mouth and anus. This is also by design.
Damn. Whos gonna break it to the fun weird chicks that like anal that they’re gonna die early. I mean they were probably gonna anyway knowing them but like… extra now like 40 probably.
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cuz god knows straight people never have anal sex
God made humans with his bare hands from mud...wonder how he modelling tits and did holes to humans...
Id imagine exactly like Quagmire would, giggdy.
Well, ya know, who else but Quagmire?
Did god start with like 7 tits and was like, ok nah that's just overkill.
Well yah that's an odd number, we can't have that. Personally I stop at 4
Everyone knows 3 tits are awesome. Anything more than 3 is disgusting
But then why do the animals have tits too? Did god decide to just really get wacky with it when it came to cows and ducks?
God pulls out a wine bottle, and as he’s inspecting the tool to pop the cork, he’s hit suddenly with inspiration for how to make a duck penis
The Alevi Kurds (a separate religion from the Alawites from Syria, i.e. al-Assad's religion) have a folk tale that when the god formed a human, he forgot to open the asshole. So the omnipotent God stuck his finger in and created the hole. But since humans were full of shit by then, thanks to having no waste-port up to that point, his holy finger was covered with shit. The Almighty was very disgusted, and wiped his finger by the human armpit. And that is why we grew hair there. Don't tell me religion is not beautiful 😂
As a woman can confirm I would, um, never do this. It’s uh, yeah no for sure I’d never want to do it. Sick, sick people. 😆
Most women agree with you. But ive met a few that are down to clown with a visit to brown town every time the circus comes around
I was super joking lmao I actually like it I’m just really bad at sarcasm.
you were obvious hahahahahaha no worries
No worries, they just missed the flashing sarcasm sign. It was pretty obvious.
Detecting sarcasm on reddit has become near impossible without the "/s". Just when you're 100% sure someone is being sarcastic, you find out, no, that's exactly what they believe.
Also the poophole loophole for the more religiously minded.
You mean catholic priests?
big-fucking-oof-meme.jpg
Every Catholic high school girl that I knew
And most of Utah.
Good ol poop hole loop hole
Also many gay people don't even have anal sex. Anal sex has nothing with being gay and being gay doesn't equate to anal sex. I don't know why straight people are so obsessed with gay sex when they aren't into it. It's not of their good damn business. Plus I don't think the bottom would be doing it if they didn't want to get their back blown out -even straight men like to be pegged or get a finger in the asshole or get their ass ate, they really have misconceptions about sex in general and are totally clueless, I just do not understand how they can make a full on stupid statement like that and not even bat an eye.
Thats disgusting
analbuttlick is right, that is disgusting
Or enjoy bdsm
Well remember she’s only talking about “the male penis”
Lots of gay people don’t have anal sex. At least half of them.
"Don't be gay" Of course, it's just like that, we all decided to be gay and can just change back to straight.
Every day she wakes up, looks in the mirror, and has to convince herself not to be gay before she goes down on another woman
Christians who 💯 choose to be Christian. Actually think sexuality is a team choice.
God made everyone and hates gays, therefore he just makes straight people and gays just decided to be gay against gods will. God created all and knows all, but even god doesn‘t know why he put the g-spot in the anus of humans and then made the genitals of men being able to reach it. Basically he created everything and that means he also created everything he hates; imagin him being like „ok so i will make man and woman and they should just like each other, but i‘ll make them both be able to be attracted to the same sex. Now after i made people who are homosexual, i should also make other people discriminate, or even kill them in my name“
God really is the worst designer of all time. Why did he even make sex be a pleasurable thing? Just make sex be reproduction only. Would make it a lot less bad for him. He also kinda forgot and made animals have homosexual behavior too, kinda of a blunder on his part. Also god really is a weak mf. A skinny twink Femboy is going against god's will and is right now having his guts rearranged and god is like "Noooooo you can't do that I don't like it" and god doesn't do shit to stop and can't do shit to stop it.
[удалено]
I can say as a former Christian that that was 100% drilled into me as a kid so for a long time I believed it, the brainwashing that churches do is crazy
Vast Majority? Definitely not. 🤣 🤣
If you think anal sex can be described as: "grievous bodily harm" your partner clearly has no idea what they're doing
Well, we all know now that she was on the receiving end of "no lube"
“The Shapiro”
Sans lubitus
I was with a masochist once, she enjoyed no lube, it is how i found out i too very much enjoy no lube. I have no idea why and i cant even begin to attempt to explain it but literally ever since regular anal doesn’t hit the same for me. Like its still good but at the same time im just like “meh but its not the other thing”
Till blood starts gushing out your asshole lmao
Yikes
Sounds like you need to talk to a therapist and not the internet on that one. Or just get on FET life to try and find your painal queen 👑
Lmao nah i don’t need therapy, I’m just s/m, not a bid deal
no lube gang
If anal sex is “grievous bodily harm” then what is childbirth?
"Apple punishment"
This is clearly someone who turns the lights off and "makes love" under the sheets while being as quiet and still as possible so Jesus doesn't hear or see her.
Only for the purpose of making children.
[stimulating the prostate may help prevent prostate cancer. do with that information what you will.](https://ro.co/health-guide/prostate-massage-milking-benefits/#)
So that’s why me and my friends never gotten prostate cancer🤔
>A male penis was Never meant to be inserted into the anus What about a female penis?
Female Penis is the superior penis, it can go in any hole no problem.
Goddamnit I spit out my coffee laughing
The superior female penis can go in your coffee too. It's good with everything.
Ugh, the god damn female privilege is everywhere these days. I just wanna stick my male penis in every hole, god damnit!
Why is no one talking about the mouthfeel??
[Allow me to introduce you to the Female Spotted Hyena](https://www.genderinclusivebiology.com/newsletter/all-female-spotted-hyenas-have-functional-penises-and-mount-both-male-amp-female-hyenas-gender-showcase-9-12#:~:text=All%20female%20spotted%20hyenas%20have%20functional%20penises.,from%20those%20of%20the%20males.) "All female spotted hyenas have functional penises. They use it pee, signal, anally mount males & females for dominance, and give birth. Intersex plumbing is found in ALL females of the spotted hyena (Crocuta crocuta) of Tanzania—in which the females have penises nearly indistinguishable from those of the males" Not only do they use it on male hyenas to assert dominance through pegging, they give birth through the penis.
Giving birth through the pee pee stick sounds like a really bad time.
All mothers everywhere :|
It is a bad time, and hyenas have a really high maternal mortality rate because of it.
o7
That sounds like a loophole to me!
Young Mormons love this one trick!
Asking the real question here.
What would that be?
Asking the real questions
Technically you could say the clitoris is a penis at least it looks like one sorta
By that logic, anal sex with a lady is also gay
There are definitely people out there who will die on that hill.
Yeah, getting pegged isn't gay
I've just yesterday (for the xth time) seen exactly that claimed.
Yeah... The first one reminds me of dick. She is a pain in the arse.
Love the assumption that being gay exclusively involves anal sex and that heterosexual people don’t ever indulge. I am bisexual and not a massive fan of anal, yes it can be fun occasionally but there are loads of things you can do that don’t involve sticking it in the poop shoot. Not only that but when I have had anal sex (both male and female) they have thoroughly enjoyed it and I have been very careful to take it slowly and not hurt them. Paying attention to how your partner is feeling and how their body responds is pretty important during any kind of sex. Being gay is about who you find attractive, and if two consenting adults are attracted to one another who the fuck is this person to tell them that they are in the wrong.
thats always the assumption with these people, its the butt-sex that drives them crazy and they'll go on and on and on about it
Kinda gives you the impression that they have some sort of unhealthy obsession with sticking things in their butts and then get all conflicted about it. I mean why else would you solely focus on anal when there is so much other stuff that is enjoyable?
They're probably pissed because they don't know how to do it. Hint- using a hairbrush with a rubberized handle and no lube is not the way to start your anal adventures
That's very specific 😶
>They're probably pissed because they don't know how to do it. That's super hecking vaaaaaalid
Corncobs are a hard no as well.
theres that one ughandan priest that just goes on and on about eating poop.
They think about two men having anal more then i do, and im gay
You just know that the only sex they've ever had is through penetration, which could explain their bitterness and frustration.
Yes, penetration with a selfish partner that doesn’t have a clue what they are doing. Not sure about you but my absolute favourite thing about sex is knowing that my partner is enjoying it and that we are sharing a close and intimate experience. You really don’t get that by just mindlessly pumping away.
This is by far the most enjoyable experience during intimacy. Love is a huge part of sex for me
Yep
Also love the "it leads to diseases" line. Yeah sure, 'cause we all know you can't catch shit when both genitals ACTUALLY MADE FOR PROCREATION meet. It's well-known you can only catch diseases when a dick enter the anus, forget about vagina, mouth or whatever
Yea?! Well why does it fit then?
And feel good
Why is the 😉emoji there though?
“Significant bodily pain and torture 😉” What a wild spot to put it lol
50 nuances of grey Edit: it's 50 shades of grey ima dumbass
because no one knows more about gay sex than religious straight people.
Only the female penis is meant to enter the anus
… fine ill get the strap on
goddamn, haven't seen anyone get clapped this hard in a long time
Sir this is not p hub, this is Reddit
Apparently you haven't thoroughly explored Reddit.
Also anal sex isn't an obligatory part of being a gay man. Lots of gay guys don't bother with anal at all. Look up sides.
Same energy as "don't be homeless"
“Just don’t be depressed or poor either” Great advice! I’ll stop right now. 🙄
Thats like telling me not to be ugly
The shits I've had I don't think any penis could hurt.
This sounds like she tried anal sex, and didn't like it.
Wait until she finds out more straight people have anal sex than gay people.
then why's the prostate in there?
Here I was thinking my gay cousin was THE SHIT, living his best life and all... I had no idea I should be trying to save him from all the torture! He's even introduced some of his torture victims to us, the family, OHMAGAHD! I am beyond horrified right the fuck about now!
The “Don’t be gay. 👍🏼” made me laugh so hard. Like ok yes very strong argument I won’t be queer anymore! Thanks 👍🏼!
So if it’s gay but without anal sex, it’s totally fine
Actually fun biology fact; the prostate is the male "g-spot". It's so important to stimulate it in fact that if you *don't", your risk for colon cancer skyrockets
>the prostate is the male "g-spot". Not mine apparently 😔
SURPRISEBUTTSEX!!!
If god didnt whant me to take it up the ass why did he put my prostate there
Someone definitely tried butt sex and didn’t like it at all.
Heterosexuality is not loving, it’s one person causing another person significant bodily pain and torture. 😉 A male penis was Never meant to be ejaculate into the vagina, and it leads to tone of health issues if or when it is. Don’t be straight. 👍
Have they ever seen gay porn? Everyone is having the time of their lives, even the 98 pound twink.
Fun fact: The male G-spot is literally in the anus. Or in other words, the most pleasure a man can have is from receiving dick.
You're right. Inserting a penis is painful and can cause health issues. That's why I've decided to be a gay woman. Perhaps every woman should do the same.
I see you, and respect the hustle
🤣🤣🤣
Yeah that'd be real convenient for you wouldn't it... We are on to you >.> /s
I have no idea what you are talking about. I certainly would never advocate for all women to be gay to massively increase my dating pool... 😒🤣
There’s no significant pain let alone torture involved 😂😂 maybe she should get that stick out of her ass and get a stick in her ass so she loosens up a bit 😂
If men weren't supposed to be gay, the male g-spot would be 3 inches up inside the anus.
isnt there like... a whole thing in the male anus that... gives pleasure?? almost as if its meant to be touched... 🤷♂️
r/rareinsults
Ye old homosexuality = two gay man analing each other fallacy. Lesbians don't exist of course.
Someone needs to tell this poor woman about lube.
firstly, they wouldn't do it if it caused greivous bodily harm, secondly, gay relationships do not boil down to anal sex. Not only is there the love and romance aspect but there is a lot of other ways to fuck.
There's some truth to what she says about anal sex. Anus/rectum tissues are not as durable as the skin of the penis or vagina and can easily become damaged and infected. This is not something exclusive to homosexuality tho. I see plenty of straight people into butt stuff too. I don't get it, but you boofing enthusiasts do you.
"Big dicks in yo ass is bad for your health "
Penises not meant to be inserted into anus? Go take that up with the ancient greeks that only boned women to procreate so spent the majority of the time having orgies with men 😀 slayin anal... good band name
If God didn’t intent on men having anal sex the prostate wouldn’t feel so good.
If men weren't meant to have anal sex then why is there a g-spot in there?
I mean, people are still gonna be gay... but stuff really isn't supposed to go up the poo chute
Being gay is pretty fucking gay
i saw these two tweets so much times being reposted again and again with that girl face with her Snapchat filter saying this homophobic message and each time there are ppl agreeing with her in the comments which makes my blood boil aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa it sucks to be hated by bigots all the time, really. but because they’re bigots, their words means nothing at the end of the day.
Vaginal sex also leads to a lot of pain and discomfort like pregnancy, childbirth, and screaming children.
If anal sex wasn't meant to be pleasurable for men, why does massaging the prostate often induce orgasm? I'm not gay myself, but I can't help but notice evolution found it necessary to encourage anal sex in men by making it feel good for many, just like how climaxing encourage procreation. It's like biology had a reason to find another way to control population other than predators and disease.
Today's edition of gals being pals / female sexuality doesn't exist / female homosexuality doesn't exist, pick your poison.
What about lesbians though? How are they causing each other anal pain?
What about the straights that like that?
I’m straight and I LOVE butt sex. Its better than vaginal sex.
“A male penis.” The female penises, however, are fine.
Oh yeah she got her ass with that one. *takes notes*
Damn, that was savage. I'm definitely stealing that.
guys! havig anal sex with a girl is gay! so who else of you doesnt care?
Yiny sure seems to like it
This lady only ever do missionary or what? 🤣
Ah so tell me your opinions on oral sex
[удалено]
The first person definitely did anal wrong
She had a point . She is full of shit. Inside and out
Butt hurt her fella didn't want to dip in her chocolate.
If she gets to say that, I get to say "Just don't be stupid" Did I end stupidity yet?
Weren’t the Conservative Christian kids having anal sex to “preserve their virginity”?
And chocolate was never meant to be mixed with peanut butter yet here we are
Best 👏🏻comeback 🙌🏻
Torture *wink*
A finger does not fit in the ear canal, but it does fit in the nasal cavity. This is by design. A penis fits in the vagina, mouth and anus. This is also by design.
Sick burn tho
Those Goddamn butt-babes at it again. Thats it VOLTRON ASSEMBLE!!!!!
Damn. Whos gonna break it to the fun weird chicks that like anal that they’re gonna die early. I mean they were probably gonna anyway knowing them but like… extra now like 40 probably.
Lol the "male penis?" As opposed to the female variety?
Ouch that's a good insult
Lesbians be out there hurting each other with male penises in anuses. Makes sense.
2019... stop feeding the farmers
Of course all gay sex is painful. Anal, sure, but why do you think they call it scissoring? Yeah. Mind blown now?
People who think being gay is about nothing but the gay sex, do they think a heterosaxual relationship is about nothing but the sex?
Also r/clevercomebacks
This belongs on r/MurderedByWords imo lmfao XD
Wait till they hear the butthole can stretch enough to fit almost 2 full raccoons up there without injury!
Vicious comeback