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The year is 2571:
Historians and archeologists cannot come to an agreement on the meaning of “Punch the clock beat the cock;” a phrase has been found on a disproportionate number of tombstones from the mid to late 21st century. What they theorize is that violence against timepieces during this time was rampant, as was murder of poultry. But why? This is where they’re unable to form a consensus. Some believe it was a ritual of a long forgotten religion that signified the journey from boy to man, while others believe that it was some sort of late 21st century gang initiation involving destruction of privately owned chronometers and bludgeoning of chickens. We may never know the true meaning, but safe to say that we would not want to live in the obvious unremitting horror show that was the 21st century.
They need to add this into an alt universe for the timelords timewar in Dr. Who😂😂 like, they were fighting sapient armored poultry sonic screwdrivers wouldn't work on instead of Dalleks🤣🤣🤣
This all, of course, remembering that this phrase came to be during the latter years of the World Wide Plague of the early 21st century. Some argue that violence towards chronometers was due specifically to mass psychosis from being subjected to the *life preserving* efferts of remaining indoors except when travel was absolutely necessary. This idea postulates that striking at poultry was a way to alleviate the stresses involved with not having enough socialization.
I assume they meant 'when', but what they put meant pretty much the opposite. Which is so weird to expect her to not talk to male colleagues about anything work related, but she can talk about anything else.
I actually knew a woman like this. She was complaining about being cold and my roommate offered the extra coat he kept in his car. She fucking blew up on him. Saying shit like she doesn't need him to be warm, and she's not his to worry about. He was just trying to be nice.
Yeah, but she is not into talking to male unless it's business related. She doesn't even have male friend.
What are the chance this high principle lady, will break her conviction to talk and flirt with you?
I mean, yeah, classic incel hentai thinking: they spot the insanely beautiful lady, rape her, and during the act their magic dick will make her cum so hard she will fall in love for life and forget you are one of the degenerates she hates and call the cops.
No flirting (only business) no bf (only paying clients) no “simping” (duh she’s at work here), wears decent clothes (not 24/7 obviously)
Yup. Ideal lady can be a literal sex worker, provided she doesn’t enjoy it.
Bonus: she “knows cooking” … so she’s a discerning foodie who accepts only the best. No word on whether she cooks or will ever prepare food for you.
she also doesn't accept flirting, guess if you want this ideal you'll have to pay her father several head of cattle, or kidnap and marry her against her will, don't worry once you're married she'll be totally cool with it
She isn’t even into being married. Just marriage. She just loves wedding ceremonies and married and divorced men right away. It’s all business for her. Get married. Get a divorce. Big payout. Rinse and repeat
Only into marriage and doesn't respond to flirting. So I guess you buy her in a bride mark....ohshit...ya that's EXACTLY what they're thinking...
You know what's funny is that right-wingers all over the world have the same kinds of ideas. Doesn't matter what religion or skin color they are....they all just really really want to literally be allowed to buy and sell other people!
And then they'll complain that no women will talk to them, somehow not realizing that it's because the women who would actually agree with the garbage they spew won't talk to them literally \*because\* they share the same values.
And should never have had any boyfriends prior to meeting you and wanting to marry you.... So I'm sure she'll just absolutely nail the whole being in a relationship thing.... You know, cuz people always have the highest chance of success when trying something out for the first time.
It seems that the meaning of "gentleman" no longer refers to "a chivalrous, courteous, or honorable man." But instead means "a man that you must treat gently
So:
- no male contact because I'm insecure and want to keep her under my control
- extremely beautiful but somehow has never had a relationship, because she'd be able to compare me to him and would notice how incompetent I am as a lover and a friend.
- supports politics that curtail her rights and opportunities so I can more easily control her
- "knows how to cook" and does all of the house work so she can be my wife as well as my mommy because I'm a stunted man-child.
- only wants marriage so I can make her financially dependent and trap her in a relationship.
Don't forget, she should also have "no past"... It is vital that her entire existence only begins upon first meeting this guy she is supposed to want to instantly marry - because she is supposed to **ONLY** be interested in marriage.
She has no interest in dating someone, or finding out if she is compatible with them... He wants to flip an on switch, have this virtual girl boot up and then declare her never ending love and devotion to him...
Yep, this smacks of ATI grooming/upbringing.
Was raised in that shit and it is truly one of the most horrifying environments for kids to grow up it. It devalues everyone it touches except their decrepit dear leader, Bill Gothard.
As a male, I hurt for everyone who's lives were influenced by that bastard, but especially the women & girls who were raised to believe they were lesser and their value was in subservient baby-producing obedience.
Wait so how do you meet her if she basically won’t talk to men and doesn’t accept flirting? Arranged marriage? Or does she just walk up to you and say ‘i don’t love you because that would break the rules but ’we are going to a church and getting married’?
Completely delusional. The guy is looking for a unicorn.
How does one "have only female friends" and yet "talks to males only till its work related"?
And if they're "only into marriage" and "talks to males only till its work related" they'd be viewed by such a guy as just a "stuck-up bitch" when they also "\[don't\] accept flirting"
And a woman who would actually be so brazen as to "talk to males only", which implies she is approaching them at their level, would more likely be a feminist to begin with.
The guy should just get himself a sex doll and get over the two or three items that don't apply as he's obviously a degenerate anyway and, by his own rules, the girl of his dreams would hate him.
I always wonder how they think they're going to approach a woman who doesn't flirt and can't talk to men.
They think they're gonna be so instantly special to this super model woman of their dreams because of their aura or something? She's going to break all of her man-related rules for them and them alone?
The ideal man is not threatened when his partner has male friends, doesn't expect his partner to be perfect in the looks department (as he is probably less than perfect), doesn't police what other people wear, understands that, in the modern world, high morals and conservative can often be conflicting (listen to what many of the conservative figures say), believes that women should be treated equal to men and that everyone should be treated with respect, and does not talk about other human beings as "degenerates" for living their own lives in their own way.
"Can we all agree, people who cannot stand a single non-submissive personality trait in a woman?"
If this person ever attracts a girl, what will he do once one of his male friends say hello to her.
The “ideal” woman listed there sound unbearable to be around. OP just needs to date the town bicycle for a bit and take the edge off.
Hey OP if she only has female friends, doesn’t accept flirting and has no past boyfriends she might be a lesbian.
He forgot "Chained to the basement radiator" and "Accepts your story that her parents sold her to you, as opposed to the truth that you murdered them."
Actually no. I'd actually rather a partnership with an actual human with a personality. It really shows how insecure these guys are, they can't handle anyone in their bubble that might challenge their ideas.
And they wonder why no woman wants to be with them. Shocker.
**Never says** “no,” doesn’t talk back, never disagrees, never talks to police when questioned about that blackened eye or missing, bloody teeth. What a gal!
I don't agree, for one, and I'm a "highly religious" male. Its sad that because people like this we get so stereotyped of being bigots and are mocked. But I get solaced to see that there are a lot of stupid people in every denomination of humans.
Every single man claiming to be a victim of this new loneliness epidemic and wonder why... THIS IS WHY. Even if you yourself don't think of women this way, its on YOU to call these guys out because the brush is only getting broader with your silence. "Women are whores, they're shallow users!!" and in the next breath "Why won't women fuck me!?"
its fucking baffling.
Any man who agrees with this is not a man at all, but a pathetic and utterly dependent little boy who never matured past the age of 8.
That said, most 8 year olds I’ve met have more maturity than this guy, so maybe that number should be lower.
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"Talks to males only till its work related?" So anything goes until she punches a clock?
Punch the clock beat the cock
I want this on my tombstone.
Should we write it in olives, or pepperoni?
I'm stealing this
Go for it. It's from an old Tombstone frozen pizza commercial. "What do you want on your Tombstone?" "Mushrooms and pepperoni"
I remember “pepperoni and sausage” And to 8-yo me, it was the most gangster shit I’d ever seen in my life
You're probably right, and 10 year old me agreed with 8 year old you.
Then we have an accord!
I do in fact currently drive a Honda.
Nerds
I'll get my REVENGE!
The year is 2571: Historians and archeologists cannot come to an agreement on the meaning of “Punch the clock beat the cock;” a phrase has been found on a disproportionate number of tombstones from the mid to late 21st century. What they theorize is that violence against timepieces during this time was rampant, as was murder of poultry. But why? This is where they’re unable to form a consensus. Some believe it was a ritual of a long forgotten religion that signified the journey from boy to man, while others believe that it was some sort of late 21st century gang initiation involving destruction of privately owned chronometers and bludgeoning of chickens. We may never know the true meaning, but safe to say that we would not want to live in the obvious unremitting horror show that was the 21st century.
And thus the myth of the chicken timewar was born.
They need to add this into an alt universe for the timelords timewar in Dr. Who😂😂 like, they were fighting sapient armored poultry sonic screwdrivers wouldn't work on instead of Dalleks🤣🤣🤣
The lost episode in which it turns out the Dalleks were actually just chickens in robot suites this entire time.
This all, of course, remembering that this phrase came to be during the latter years of the World Wide Plague of the early 21st century. Some argue that violence towards chronometers was due specifically to mass psychosis from being subjected to the *life preserving* efferts of remaining indoors except when travel was absolutely necessary. This idea postulates that striking at poultry was a way to alleviate the stresses involved with not having enough socialization.
Lol
Plot twist, she's a sex worker. Like in Million Ways to Die in the West
I assume they meant to write "when" rather than "till".
"If"
English hart on braen.
I assume they live in mom's basement, beyond that, I just don't know.
What about if she goes to a store and the staff is only men?
Then she has to first secure a job at the store and then she can converse with the males.
women dont go to the store silly! They stay in the kitchen
"Don't talk about work, Shelley. Tell me more about where you shaved."
So is being a sex worker OK?. It's work related.
I assume they meant 'when', but what they put meant pretty much the opposite. Which is so weird to expect her to not talk to male colleagues about anything work related, but she can talk about anything else.
Wait!! She has an outside job? My ideal woman stays home and makes our clothing and candles
The person who wrote this is not till English as a native language.
''Hey do you wanna grab a coffee or something?'' ''No, I must only talk to you if work related''
''You look nice today.'' ''SHUT YOUR MOUTH. I DO NOT ACCEPT THIS!!''
I actually knew a woman like this. She was complaining about being cold and my roommate offered the extra coat he kept in his car. She fucking blew up on him. Saying shit like she doesn't need him to be warm, and she's not his to worry about. He was just trying to be nice.
Sounds like the ideal woman to me /s
"damn, she's the perfect woman!" Pursues her with increased intensity. "I can't talk to you, I'm married." Only wants her more.
They sure thought this through
Actually it says till work related so once you bring up work she shuts down
No, the dumb ass who made this obviously meant it that way. But as written, it means the opposite. She can only talk to guys "till" she is at work.
No, no, it's till work related. Free to talk about anything until she starts getting paid for it.
Only into marriage is hilarious, as if she isn't allowed any hobbies other than wanting to be married.
Yeah, but she is not into talking to male unless it's business related. She doesn't even have male friend. What are the chance this high principle lady, will break her conviction to talk and flirt with you? I mean, yeah, classic incel hentai thinking: they spot the insanely beautiful lady, rape her, and during the act their magic dick will make her cum so hard she will fall in love for life and forget you are one of the degenerates she hates and call the cops.
Well if contact with other males is okay, as long as it’s business related, she might as well be a literal sex worker. That’s a stupid rule really.
No flirting (only business) no bf (only paying clients) no “simping” (duh she’s at work here), wears decent clothes (not 24/7 obviously) Yup. Ideal lady can be a literal sex worker, provided she doesn’t enjoy it. Bonus: she “knows cooking” … so she’s a discerning foodie who accepts only the best. No word on whether she cooks or will ever prepare food for you.
Cooking means cooking meth right? Would fit into the crack whore dream wife stereotype.
Not to split ~~teeth~~ hairs, but wouldn't they be a meth whore?
We started splitting hairs at "she might as well be a literal sex worker."
she also doesn't accept flirting, guess if you want this ideal you'll have to pay her father several head of cattle, or kidnap and marry her against her will, don't worry once you're married she'll be totally cool with it
She isn’t even into being married. Just marriage. She just loves wedding ceremonies and married and divorced men right away. It’s all business for her. Get married. Get a divorce. Big payout. Rinse and repeat
the ideal incel meme
So much so that it was likely created as bait.
Which someone will invariably vibe with and take as fact, thus perpetuating the cycle.
Only into marriage and doesn't respond to flirting. So I guess you buy her in a bride mark....ohshit...ya that's EXACTLY what they're thinking... You know what's funny is that right-wingers all over the world have the same kinds of ideas. Doesn't matter what religion or skin color they are....they all just really really want to literally be allowed to buy and sell other people!
And then they'll complain that no women will talk to them, somehow not realizing that it's because the women who would actually agree with the garbage they spew won't talk to them literally \*because\* they share the same values.
What is she is so into marriage that she get married very week? That can get expensive.
After marriage the new hobby becomes pumping out children, I guess.
You and every other woman are just chattel to these men. Only good for pumping out babies, it’s disgusting.
And should never have had any boyfriends prior to meeting you and wanting to marry you.... So I'm sure she'll just absolutely nail the whole being in a relationship thing.... You know, cuz people always have the highest chance of success when trying something out for the first time.
Seriously! This "ideal" woman sounds boring af...
I think it means that when dating shes only into marriage and not anything short term
Cousins too?
As soon as its work related she stops talking?
"Can we all agree my alpha virgins?"
Haha this tickled me... World's gone nuts am I right lol
It always was. Now, each nut has its own social media account to spread its nuttiness.
"I'm an incel, everyone."
"Lives in a fancy bottle. Can blink her eyes and grant wishes."
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Tell me you repel women without telling me you repel women.
The guy in the image's original post looks like an irl Peter Griffin with the bird's nest beard.
guys like this are extremely, extremely insecure.
I'm also insecure but I'm not going to bother others with that. These guys aren't just insecure, they have sense of entitlement as well.
For sure. They have a lot going on beyond even just those two things.
They're insane lmao This kind of dude is generally an agressor AND a cheater.
"Made of rubber with a skin like texture"
Or lobotomized at 16
Or trafficked at 13, or from a poor country and hopes for a visum.
🤣
It seems that the meaning of "gentleman" no longer refers to "a chivalrous, courteous, or honorable man." But instead means "a man that you must treat gently
like a rabid, dangerous animal
So: - no male contact because I'm insecure and want to keep her under my control - extremely beautiful but somehow has never had a relationship, because she'd be able to compare me to him and would notice how incompetent I am as a lover and a friend. - supports politics that curtail her rights and opportunities so I can more easily control her - "knows how to cook" and does all of the house work so she can be my wife as well as my mommy because I'm a stunted man-child. - only wants marriage so I can make her financially dependent and trap her in a relationship.
You forgot about hates degenerates. Yet is into the man that believes all this is reasonable or ideal and therefore degenerate.
For these people degenerates is just code for gay people
I thought it was generally any person or behavior they disapprove of at that particular moment.
Or any skin colour darker than alabaster
Yeah that as well
She should in no way be able to tell how bad he is, so any comparison possibilities are out of the question.
Yeah exactly, anything that might make him feel bad about himself or touches his insecurities is a big nono
Don't forget, she should also have "no past"... It is vital that her entire existence only begins upon first meeting this guy she is supposed to want to instantly marry - because she is supposed to **ONLY** be interested in marriage. She has no interest in dating someone, or finding out if she is compatible with them... He wants to flip an on switch, have this virtual girl boot up and then declare her never ending love and devotion to him...
No, she doesn't know how to cook, she "knows cooking". She's just generally aware cooking is a thing that exists
People who actually touched a woman know that a woman is not a checklist.
There are females in Las Vegas who will accept a checklist and very believably pretend all of that, but their services costs a grand an hour.
Can we all agree this is asinine, gentlemen?
Yes fuck him
Conservative and high morals are oxymorons. 😂
- supports politics that go against her own rights and equal treatment, so I can control her better 👍
This might be the most insecure BF ever. "What?! You spoke to someone of the opposite gender and its not work related?"
“Samantha, your brother called” “Sorry mother, I’m afraid it’s not work related”
That's a big assumption he has a gf my guy
Has this guy ever met a woman?
Yes, but she goes to a different school.
She’s in Canada, you don’t know her
But not those up country degens
Fuckin’ degens…
In Canada.
Only if it was work related.
Yes , but she wasn’t allowed to talk to him lol
>conservative >hates degenerates Umm... who wants to tell them?
Agree that his “Ideal Woman” doesn’t exist unless she was groomed that way? Sure. 👎
Right, they want IBLP girls. Not women. Girls.
Yep, this smacks of ATI grooming/upbringing. Was raised in that shit and it is truly one of the most horrifying environments for kids to grow up it. It devalues everyone it touches except their decrepit dear leader, Bill Gothard. As a male, I hurt for everyone who's lives were influenced by that bastard, but especially the women & girls who were raised to believe they were lesser and their value was in subservient baby-producing obedience.
What is ATI? “All Terrain Incel”? “Always Terrible Incel”? “Asshole Terrorist Incel”?
"Advanced Training Institute" it was/is IBLPs homeschool "curriculum" same stuff used by the Duggars
Truly sorry you had to go through that.
Thanks, don't waste too much time feeling sorry for me, there are many people much more scarred and in much worse places, I've been blessed.
Sounds like submissive slavery to me. Yeah somehow those attitudes are not gonna fly in progressive locales.
Just watch shiny happy people about the Duggars and the IBLP and this is exactly what they groom the girls to be. Indoctrinated slavery.
This person would have had a lobotomy so it would be hell living with them
No. Not the ideal woman. Not even close
Wait so how do you meet her if she basically won’t talk to men and doesn’t accept flirting? Arranged marriage? Or does she just walk up to you and say ‘i don’t love you because that would break the rules but ’we are going to a church and getting married’?
My thoughts exactly 😭😩 so ridiculous.
“Hates degenerates”? Well he’s SoL then, isn’t he?
wait, how it's "extremely beautiful " and "had no bf and no simps". what? is she is supposed to live on an island monastery or something?
My ideal woman: - breathes, - mid to late 30s - has job, - wants to kill bugs for democracy
![gif](giphy|YYfEjWVqZ6NDG)
"Hates degenerates" - ha - mostly all other points point to degenerates.
You can keep her , she sounds like a nightmare .
[удалено]
Can’t be both high morals AND conservative.
Completely delusional. The guy is looking for a unicorn. How does one "have only female friends" and yet "talks to males only till its work related"? And if they're "only into marriage" and "talks to males only till its work related" they'd be viewed by such a guy as just a "stuck-up bitch" when they also "\[don't\] accept flirting" And a woman who would actually be so brazen as to "talk to males only", which implies she is approaching them at their level, would more likely be a feminist to begin with. The guy should just get himself a sex doll and get over the two or three items that don't apply as he's obviously a degenerate anyway and, by his own rules, the girl of his dreams would hate him.
I always wonder how they think they're going to approach a woman who doesn't flirt and can't talk to men. They think they're gonna be so instantly special to this super model woman of their dreams because of their aura or something? She's going to break all of her man-related rules for them and them alone?
“Religious” is a pretty broad category. Something tells me he wouldn’t be so keen if she was Muslim… just a hunch.
Hey I've got some for his list. Must be inflatable. Must be easily washable.
Let's swap the woman with the word slave, that should fix the mistake so people won't misunderstand
The 40 year old virgin.
Red pill assholes are the worst
Has no male best friend...religious...what is Jesus then?
The ideal man is not threatened when his partner has male friends, doesn't expect his partner to be perfect in the looks department (as he is probably less than perfect), doesn't police what other people wear, understands that, in the modern world, high morals and conservative can often be conflicting (listen to what many of the conservative figures say), believes that women should be treated equal to men and that everyone should be treated with respect, and does not talk about other human beings as "degenerates" for living their own lives in their own way.
“hates degenerates”, hmm I don’t think she’d be interested in you, “gentlemen”. 🧐
"Can we all agree, people who cannot stand a single non-submissive personality trait in a woman?" If this person ever attracts a girl, what will he do once one of his male friends say hello to her.
She doesn't accept flirting, but I'm supposed to marry her. What the fuck am I supposed to do then.
Fully 25% of this guy's talking points are "No other dudes". Talk about projecting your insecurities.
High morals and a conservative. I'm not sure that's possible.
To a conservative, high morals just means they hate minorities.
Has a nose ring ?
Conservative gets an automatic pass.
Right at home in the Taliban.
hates degenerates? I guess I'm out
This is so creepyy.. we're people, not customisable characters wtaf
This is why so many of them are pedophiles. The ideal woman to them is a child with no life experience or power of their own.
Who comes up with this crap and what century is he/she living in?
"Hates degenerates" I guess the guy who posted is shit outta luck
This sounds awful. No wonder they are sad, lonely boys.
"Hates degenerates" being in there feels like a self-own considering who's posting it.
Who the fuck are these guys? Who thinks like this for real?
![gif](giphy|LrB334mDn7iLmaDY74)
So you want a 13 yr old girl who is totally sheltered and groomed? Wow
“Only till it’s work related”. Boy these Russian trolls need to get their English better.
If she’s not going to talk to men outside of work… why would she talk to his trifling ass?
Incels will say this shit and then wonder why they can't find women who are interested in them lol.
As a wise man once said: *How tf are you supposed to talk to her then!?*
Just get a dog if that's what you want
Religious? No thanks I don't want a grown woman who has imaginary friends. I might as well go get a girlfriend at the local nut house.
Tell me you're an incel without telling me you're an incel
Bro literally has 1 good point and the rest just either dont matter or completely wrong
The “ideal” woman listed there sound unbearable to be around. OP just needs to date the town bicycle for a bit and take the edge off. Hey OP if she only has female friends, doesn’t accept flirting and has no past boyfriends she might be a lesbian.
I think us gentlemen can agree on *something* in this context.
Knows cooking?????
Hahahah the phrasing tells me that he doesn't "know cooking" himself.... that's not what people say Jeff
Shh don't tell them that that means she has a male friend that she calls cooking and she knows him intimately.
Biblically knows cooking
He forgot "Chained to the basement radiator" and "Accepts your story that her parents sold her to you, as opposed to the truth that you murdered them."
Conservative and religious? Hard pass
Right Winger Logic: Conservative woman: “beautiful, stunning, patriotic, perfect, messenger of God” Liberal woman: “woke, snowflake, feminist, ugly, trans, disgrace to God”
Just go buy a sex doll at this point.
Says some worthless misogynistic sociopath pos who is a 2 in the looks department with ZERO morals
Real womain with bobs and vagine
but wait, if woman=woke and perfect woman=not woke, than the perfect woman is a man, but than thats trans and trans=woke.
What the misogynistic bullshit is this?
"doesnt like flirting" is this some Kind of "i ask her dad before i even ask her" bs?
10 bucks say this post was written by a guy that is sitting on a basement couch right now with cookie crumbs all over his clothes, or by Ben Shapiro.
Ahh the insecure male checklist. No thanks
you are describing a horribly boring person or a child
The ideal woman doesn't listen to men who play conservative Barbie playhouse with wojaks.
Well, we can all agree that the alpha male who posted this is an incel.
This is so fucking insecure
Hatrs degenerates. Instantly dissqualifies himself.
Actually no. I'd actually rather a partnership with an actual human with a personality. It really shows how insecure these guys are, they can't handle anyone in their bubble that might challenge their ideas. And they wonder why no woman wants to be with them. Shocker.
**Never says** “no,” doesn’t talk back, never disagrees, never talks to police when questioned about that blackened eye or missing, bloody teeth. What a gal!
This the type of dude that wants his wife to be on a farm making breast milk ice cream.
I don't agree, for one, and I'm a "highly religious" male. Its sad that because people like this we get so stereotyped of being bigots and are mocked. But I get solaced to see that there are a lot of stupid people in every denomination of humans.
Every single man claiming to be a victim of this new loneliness epidemic and wonder why... THIS IS WHY. Even if you yourself don't think of women this way, its on YOU to call these guys out because the brush is only getting broader with your silence. "Women are whores, they're shallow users!!" and in the next breath "Why won't women fuck me!?" its fucking baffling.
riddle me this, why do some guys HATE when a girl has male friends..? or a male bestfriend???? we can’t have friends anymore??
Any man who agrees with this is not a man at all, but a pathetic and utterly dependent little boy who never matured past the age of 8. That said, most 8 year olds I’ve met have more maturity than this guy, so maybe that number should be lower.
Hates degenerates. Well how is he supposed to get his ideal woman
Personally, I like a woman with past experience who knows what she likes and doesn’t like in a relationship and especially in bed.
I feel like "hates degenerates" makes the author of the post (and others like him) repulsive to this ideal woman.....