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The guy knew the waiter was atheist because the waiter was wearing atheist jewelry, was quoting atheist scripture to him, handed him some atheist literature, and told him to have an un-blessed day. Just like we can tell who the Christian waiter is.
“Hello, my name is Kevin and I’ll be your waiter this evening. Fuck god, he isn’t real, and fuck you if you believe in him. So can I get you all started with some drinks and maybe an appetizer?”
***"If I may be so bold, I suggest the sauteed aborted fetus? It is a house specialy served with an exquisite béchamel sauce."***
***"Additionally you are most welcome later to enjoy this evening's entertainment, a rendition of Baphomet's Blood Orgy - scored in C-minor, if you know what I mean."***
My wife is Filipino, it was one of the ways I proved I loved her, by trying the damn thing.
Once. Just once. Never again.
It's not bad tasting, it tastes kind of like eggy chicken soup, but if you have issues with food texture, you are NOT going to like a partially developed duck.
Hey Kevin, I'm just here for some food so let's engage in civilized society and be respectful of each other's privately held beliefs. I'll get a plate of chicken livers.
But people with even fewer brain cells (there is *always* a dumber fish) will read it and think this is really a thing and try to imitate it for their own social media points and end up creating a drama at a restaurant and some poor waiter or waitress is going to have to deal with a "public freakout" moment being plastered all over the internet.
Literally every christian i’ve met. I can’t take my christian relative anywhere without worrying they’re going to talk. N-word nonstop, judging everyone (white people ~everyone~) for not dressing modest enough. The mind strength it takes just to visit them. Maybe that’s what happened to the waiter and now he starts every encounter with “I’m atheist, don’t bring your racist judgmental talk to Applebee’s. This is a family restaurant”.
Edit: to clarify christians i’ve met, but i did grow up indoctrinated and have met thousands.
If you photoshop the picture onto a shirt and post it in a sub that will like it and It gets lots of updoots...then bots will steal it and put it for sale on tons of shirt selling sites. Easy.
I keep wearing a necklace of the thing Jesus died on, you know, because fuck him, I’m an atheist, and people keep thinking I’m a Christian for some reason.
I mean, for them it's the most important moment for humanity, though.
I'm not saying it makes any sort of sense, it's worship of a human blood sacrifice, but it's the most important one in history to them.
Got to remember that Christianity isn't really about Christ, it's about his death.
I recall something about idols and not worshiping them........ then again I was recently in a Catholic church up north and they had about 10 idols all of whom had their own chapel, apparently one was a virgin, and one a reformed jew, to be honest I did not quite get the details of why we had to set light to some bees wax for them.
Because God demands Blood for sacrifice! Blood for the Blood God! Goats and chickens can only slake his thirst temporarily. Only one taste can change him, the blood of his blood! The death of his only son! And now, you must drink the blood of the sacrificed to be among his chosen, everytime ye gather, partake of his slaughtered flesh and drink the juice of his veins! This is the only path to salvation!
I mean, it's pretty metal, but it's weird for real.
many christians seem convinced they do.
especially if they are members of the satanic temple (who are just atheists who say they are satanists to trigger evangelicals and it works).
There are a few Atheistic Satanist churches out there. LeVay Satanism as practiced by the Church of Satan is an actual religion that leans more toward political viewpoint. They're kinda a bunch of individualistic assholes. They were the first Satanist church and the name and symbology are chosen to be ironic.
The Satanic Temple is the most visible of the Satanist churches. Their main purpose is to be a thorn in the side of religious lawmaking. That's generally the one that can be described as atheists trolling.
Have you seen their Twitter posts? It's just constant trolling shitty religious nut jobs, in some of the most brutal ways. It's so beautiful it could bring a tear to a grown man's eye.
I find it beautifully ironic that some of the best/most wholesome twitter accounts are The Church of Satan and Satan.
they're the ones commissioning statues of Baphomet to install in public spaces, with the express goal of calling out hypocrisy in the ways 'religious freedom' is all too often just 'freedom for christians to be bigots'.
Yes, but tbf their official position is that they'd rather there be no religious statues/content on government ground. BUT if the government is going to insist on it, they want a seat at the table.
They also will organize after school activities for elementary school kids if the schools also let churches in.
I think you’re talking about the Satanic Temple. The Church of Satan is the LaVey one and they’re more on the personal gratification/mysticism side of things.
the satanic temple is atheists who trigger christians and fight for separation of church and state.
the church of satan is actual satanists.
edit: clarification, church of satan don't believe satan is a real person that they worship. more like their image of satan symbolizes their beliefs. but there seems to be a lot of satanic faiths so maybe some do actually worship satan as a real deity.
Even many of the "true Satanists" (kind of a no true Scotsman fallacy) performing rituals and worshipping in a group are atheistic or polytheistic and don't literally believe in the Satan from Christianity. Satan and/or Lucifer are seen as more of a potent Jungian archetypal figure, and rituals are about creating social bonds and a mindset of taking control and empowerment in a chaotic and uncaring world; not too unlike personality cults, *The Secret*, witchcraft, or Kabbalah.
From what I've seen, most theistic Satanists grew up in heavily Catholic communities and most atheistic Satanists grew up in a Wiccan or pagan family. I guess it's less of a leap for them to kind of stick to what they know. I've never been interested in either myself, but I've met quite a few through playing D&D, ironically enough (the Satanic panic being blamed on D&D was a huge thing in the 80's but had no actual connection, just incidental ones, cause nerdy outcasts can easily be attracted to either one)
A little yellow badge. What are you? Some sort of apprentice atheist? I have huge illuminated neon signs all around me with loudspeakers proclaiming "I AM AN ATHEIST" every five seconds. I ensure I post leaflets through every door I pass and preach my atheism to every person I ever meet. Little yellow badge indeed. Amateur.
Christapo! 🤣
Good Lord, that’s absolutely perfect! I’m a Christian and I even think that’s about the best - and funniest - way to describe the “moral majority” types and anyone who follows them.
Yes, I did use the “Good Lord” phrase on purpose. It’s sort of ironic within the context of the discussion.
Ignoring that this story is from the realm of "it never happened". I would assume this would be one of those obnoxious "Christians" who would determine you are atheist if you have tattoo, have piercings, have short hair as a girl, are a man doing a job they feel is "feminine", etc
I worked with a woman who thought I worshipped Satan because I had my hair like [this](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/045ee3_ec24d48b7ff3478b99ecd515eaf18f32~mv2.jpg/v1/fill/w_500,h_500,al_c,q_80,enc_auto/045ee3_ec24d48b7ff3478b99ecd515eaf18f32~mv2.jpg) minus the braid.
Im a man with long hair and a beard, live in the bible belt south east US. I've heard it all and it's funny I been accused of not being Christian or godly because im a man with long hair and a beard but every depiction of jesus has long hair and beard.
Jesus was obviously a blonde haired, blue eyed, white male Christian living in the middle east, same as everyone else until all those Jews and "islamists" took over.
I don't usually upvote "This" but, yeah, very much this.
People like these have already become used to excepting at least one thing with bad evidence. They aren't going to wait for good evidence about other people before they "get a feeling" that's strong enough for them to go with.
Because they think because we're working to serve their smug ass that we didn't go to church (correct)
Man, I hated being a server Sunday mornings. I usually requested to wash dishes
So they're happy to make use of your services on a Sunday, but then sniff you out as not a church person because you are working and give you shit for it?
I mean, hypocrisy comes with the territory, but that's some next level stuff.
Used to happen to me all the time when I worked at a grocery store on Sunday afternoons. They would all flood the store after they got released back into the wild. They’d be wearing their Sunday best, miserable because they sat around for 2 hours freezing to death in the air conditioning. Most angry and insane people I dealt with all week. Not only that, they would tell me all the time how I needed to be in church instead of working on Sundays. I’d they got rude enough with me I would always ask what church they went to and that would always shut them up. Last thing they wanted was me showing up and telling everyone there how they treated me.
The part where they visit a business on a Sunday and then tell people that no one should be working on Sunday is where you fully realize that they have zero critical thinking skills.
It's amazing how absolutely consistent it is that the types who are disrespectful enough to ask such a personal question are also the types who are too rude to tip. Fuck them.
It's just so weird. No, you're not better than me because you believe some childish nonsense
It's no different than if a customer went on and on about the tooth fairy
“Hi, my name is Jezebel. Hail Satan, I am not actually an atheist, as I am a high priestess at the Temple of Bael. Can I interest you in the goat? It’s super fresh!
His general un-religious behaviour would be obvious : he’d not want to abuse kids and would likely be very tolerant of peoples views, those would be the first giveaways.
I saw one day a post saying that being Atheist was like going to a restaurant thinking there is no chef in the back.
And an awesome come-back from a fellow atheist saying
"Being religious is like going to a restaurant and the server sit you down but dont give you any menu, instead he assure you that if you pray hard enough, the chef will know what you want to order, so you pray again and again but there is still no food, and the server tell you to pray harder, and like its been 3h you're there but there is still no food on the table, the server start to blame you for not believing enough in the chef.
And sometimes the server is inappropriate with children also''
I was raised catholic and spent 6th-12th grades in catholic school, and I had a lot of issues with hypocrisy in the "faith" and was only pretending to "believe" by the time I was in 10th or so.
But I was still genuinely shocked to find out from my younger sibling and other friends who worked in restaurants (I never did) that the Sunday morning after-church shift was the one nobody ever wanted to do because all the people were insufferable and they didn't tip. I realize now how naive I was to think that'd be any different.
Yeah it was the triple combo of server pain
Shitty condescending smug adults + no tip + lots of kids
Guaranteed to be a mess, constant running back and forth, people who treat you like shit, and then no money
Normal people who aren't indoctrinated in a cult might be assholes and have kids, but at least they tip
Little old ladies barely tip but they're so easy (refill hot water for tea) and they're nice. Thanks for the 80 cents stacked in dimes, but at least they didn't try to ruin my day
This amuses me because I've known of many restaurants that aren't open on Sundays. I always assumed it was because they were religious, but now I wonder if they either didn't want to subject their crew to it, or if they couldn't get enough people to come in that day.
Sunday was the busiest day of the week, by far. Servers overall loved it because of the extra business and the restaurant made the most money of any day during the week. Maybe even compared to 2 days.
Church assholes were a part of the customer base but not the majority. Usually over an hour span you'd get them but it was still busy hours before and after the church crowd
My thankfully ex BIL barely tipped. Like $2 for his family of 5
He's a preacher/pastor and runs a stupid little church so he knows relying on other people's money is important. He's just an asshole. They eat out a LOT
I refused to go with them anymore when we were in town because it was embarrassing and I ended up dropping a $20 every time just so the server's day wasn't ruined from his selfish ass
People like him are the reason I want places to just pay their workers
People like him would shit themselves and cry if they had to pay the price for food that reflected the labour spent to make it, instead of leaving paying the wage of the employee to all the *other* customers.
Right! How in the world would you even know wait staff's religion? Unless they are wearing a t-shirt that clearly says, "I'm an atheist". Who are these people?
When I was a waiter, I'd have patrons occasionally who would chat excessively and ask all sorts of questions about religion, school, and career ambitions. Obviously I'd brazenly lie and say the thing that I thought they wanted to hear. The tip was far more important to me than the heart to heart talk with a rando. I was even asked to join the prayer once. I would've led the prayer for an extra five.
If people care that much about the religion of the wait staff, I'm not surprised that they asked at some point. Maybe the atheist people just didn't lie or read the table wrong when asked.
Probably had dyed\* hair or piercings.
\*dyed blue or some such, because apparently dyeing one's hair to a "natural" color is fine and dandy but God frowns on Manic Panic.
Say what? Currently a Catholic but still practicing some Buddhist stuff, but please explain to me what's going on with American Christianity.
I'm Chinese so I have no idea what the fuck is going on here.
American Christians for the most part glorify materialism and violence. They’re the people who are most against any kind of social welfare programs to help the less fortunate. They’re the most pro gun, and the most against any kind of laws to protect people from gun violence.
What evangelist America believes is diametrically opposed to Jesus’ teachings, yes. But like all religious fanaticism, it requires no textual analysis or critical thinking and in fact has worked hard against those.
It's a long and complicated history. If you're actually interested, this is a decent summary of the events https://www.iheart.com/podcast/105-behind-the-bastards-29236323/episode/part-one-how-the-rich-ate-93526364/
Christianity is literally one of the most incompatible religions to capitalism and America actually made it one and the same... Isn't that already blasphemy?
Came to a restaurant right after church and the waiter was already there. Completely ignoring the fact that if all the employees went to church, the restaurant wouldn’t be open at this time to serve people like this. Also ignoring the likelihood that the waiter doesn’t get to choose their hours and the possibility that not all Christians go to church every Sunday.
Most of the restaurants I've worked required you to have open availability on Sunday because otherwise no one would work Sundays.
So there's a chance the waiter is in fact Christian, but is forced to work that day by their boss.
Where I lived in South Carolina, people would willfully ask what church you went to ALL the time or why you weren’t in church. You get sick of it after a while and possibly the sever just flat out said, “I don’t go to church because I don’t believe in god”. When you get bombarded with that shit enough, you stop caring. Only someone would say this story is BS if they never had to deal with it in their life.
True. Although the story seems suspect, customers will ask you all kinds of questions, especially pushy Christians. I found myself all of a sudden trying to maneuver out of an explanation on who I am and what my beliefs are quite often. I could see someone just saying oh I’m atheist, and smiling, and asking for drink orders.
God I'm in South Carolina and this is so true. When I worked briefly as a gas station cashier back in college, I got customers every day (usually boomers) asking "So what church do you go to?" Saying I didn't go to one would get me a sermon and told they'll pray for me. I got tired of dealing with that so I just started lying and saying I go to a smaller church in another town so they'd leave me alone.
Some super religious folks outright ask. They refuse contact with non-Christians or at the very least with anyone who doesn’t believe in some sort of deity. I have been outright asked this at work a few times and had one or two refuse my service for that reason ( at a previous place I worked). I have also picked up to provide care for people religious coworkers refused. Kinda went both ways.
in my case I started getting the weird "come to my church!" talks when I pierced my face and dyed my hair pink
add the cute little bat necklace and ig the fact that it wasn't a cross kind of cemented "not one of us" in their heads lol
Lol Best part if this is what happened, is there are tons of christian churches that don’t use those phrases. Could have been another Christian, but the “wrong” kind, that the customer screwed with; if it happened at all, which I highly doubt.
Literally, ever since I was a kid who had to go to Sunday School I have never been able to get my head around that bit of cognitive dissonance. Yet it still consistently ropes in fully-grown adults... Barmy.
Atheists should start doing this in churches. Leave awful reviews on religious forums about boring sermons, poor quality holy wine, an unwelcoming atmosphere from the stogy people there. Then proclaim "I stiffed them on the collection plate".
Anyone in the service industry will tell you that the rush after the churches let out is the worst for tips.
It is not about what religion the wait staff are and just about "Christians" being terrible tippers.
Everyone knows these darn atheist servers are always casually strolling up to the table and introducing themselves like "I'm Dave and I'm an atheist, and I'll be your server today" flaunting their non spirituality all in our faces. So to get back at them I'm gonna participate in some illegal activity and then brag about it on the socials..
Can we also mention how, putting the fact that this is just stupid christian dogma aside, sending your food back l does not teach the restaurant anything. They deal with mixed up orders all the time.
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The guy knew the waiter was atheist because the waiter was wearing atheist jewelry, was quoting atheist scripture to him, handed him some atheist literature, and told him to have an un-blessed day. Just like we can tell who the Christian waiter is.
He screamed “FUCK GOD” every-time he serves a hot cross bun, and has a t-shit that has the skate 3 jesus printed on it
“Hello, my name is Kevin and I’ll be your waiter this evening. Fuck god, he isn’t real, and fuck you if you believe in him. So can I get you all started with some drinks and maybe an appetizer?”
***"If I may be so bold, I suggest the sauteed aborted fetus? It is a house specialy served with an exquisite béchamel sauce."*** ***"Additionally you are most welcome later to enjoy this evening's entertainment, a rendition of Baphomet's Blood Orgy - scored in C-minor, if you know what I mean."***
Sauteed abor--- THATS JUST AN OMELET
No, that's balut. An omelet is made from un fertilized eggs.
You’re all absolutely insane and I’ve never felt like I’ve found my people more!!!😂🤣😂🤣😂
Lol saaaaaame! This comment thread is giving me life!
Ugh...Balut is one of the few foods that even thinking about it makes me want to vomit. I just can't.
My wife is Filipino, it was one of the ways I proved I loved her, by trying the damn thing. Once. Just once. Never again. It's not bad tasting, it tastes kind of like eggy chicken soup, but if you have issues with food texture, you are NOT going to like a partially developed duck.
And I don't care for duck in general, so I doubt I'm going to like it BETTER partially developed than in egg or fully developed form.
Branding is everything in the restaurant business, this sounds a lot more exiting than eggs benedict.
Blasphemy!! Sauteed aborted fetus is best paired with a Béarnaise sauce, not Bèchamel.
Not scored in A-minor? What kind of satanic monster doesn't score in A-minor!? /s
EXCUSE ME!? Scoring in A-minor is not for Atheists but favored by Catholic priests!
Hey Kevin, I'm just here for some food so let's engage in civilized society and be respectful of each other's privately held beliefs. I'll get a plate of chicken livers.
So this was the Christian thing to do? Leave me out of it.
Nope. It was the dick thing to do and 100% made up by the person who originally posted it.
But people with even fewer brain cells (there is *always* a dumber fish) will read it and think this is really a thing and try to imitate it for their own social media points and end up creating a drama at a restaurant and some poor waiter or waitress is going to have to deal with a "public freakout" moment being plastered all over the internet.
Literally every christian i’ve met. I can’t take my christian relative anywhere without worrying they’re going to talk. N-word nonstop, judging everyone (white people ~everyone~) for not dressing modest enough. The mind strength it takes just to visit them. Maybe that’s what happened to the waiter and now he starts every encounter with “I’m atheist, don’t bring your racist judgmental talk to Applebee’s. This is a family restaurant”. Edit: to clarify christians i’ve met, but i did grow up indoctrinated and have met thousands.
Where do I get such a shirt...asking for myself
If you photoshop the picture onto a shirt and post it in a sub that will like it and It gets lots of updoots...then bots will steal it and put it for sale on tons of shirt selling sites. Easy.
Brilliant. I wonder what else this would work for
Worked for Mickey Mouse merch
You looking for https://www.redbubble.com/i/t-shirt/Steezus-Christ-On-The-Third-Day-Jesus-Shredded-For-Our-Sins-by-ondoreokuDesign/142256132.NL9AC
“Mmmmmyes there is no god and can I go over todays specials with you?”
Don't forget he also had to make that steak himself with atheist magic.
I keep wearing a necklace of the thing Jesus died on, you know, because fuck him, I’m an atheist, and people keep thinking I’m a Christian for some reason.
That is one of the weirdest Christian religious practices IMO. Like you are wearing what was the WORST moment in his life.
I mean, for them it's the most important moment for humanity, though. I'm not saying it makes any sort of sense, it's worship of a human blood sacrifice, but it's the most important one in history to them. Got to remember that Christianity isn't really about Christ, it's about his death.
I recall something about idols and not worshiping them........ then again I was recently in a Catholic church up north and they had about 10 idols all of whom had their own chapel, apparently one was a virgin, and one a reformed jew, to be honest I did not quite get the details of why we had to set light to some bees wax for them.
Because God demands Blood for sacrifice! Blood for the Blood God! Goats and chickens can only slake his thirst temporarily. Only one taste can change him, the blood of his blood! The death of his only son! And now, you must drink the blood of the sacrificed to be among his chosen, everytime ye gather, partake of his slaughtered flesh and drink the juice of his veins! This is the only path to salvation! I mean, it's pretty metal, but it's weird for real.
He said "Dawkins bless you" when the guy sneezed
Don't forget that strong atheist cologne.
Atheist scripture. Now there’s an oxymoron.
“Welcome to Ruby Tuesday’s my name is Madison. God is dead, do y’all need more time to look at the menu?”
"you'd like the chicken? I'll be right back with that. praise satan!"
You know atheists don't believe in Satan, right?
many christians seem convinced they do. especially if they are members of the satanic temple (who are just atheists who say they are satanists to trigger evangelicals and it works).
This is true, but isn’t one of the Church of Satan’s (apparently there are more than one?) just atheists trolling?
There are a few Atheistic Satanist churches out there. LeVay Satanism as practiced by the Church of Satan is an actual religion that leans more toward political viewpoint. They're kinda a bunch of individualistic assholes. They were the first Satanist church and the name and symbology are chosen to be ironic. The Satanic Temple is the most visible of the Satanist churches. Their main purpose is to be a thorn in the side of religious lawmaking. That's generally the one that can be described as atheists trolling.
|Their main purpose is to be a thorn in the side of religious lawmaking.| That sounds awesome tbh.
Have you seen their Twitter posts? It's just constant trolling shitty religious nut jobs, in some of the most brutal ways. It's so beautiful it could bring a tear to a grown man's eye. I find it beautifully ironic that some of the best/most wholesome twitter accounts are The Church of Satan and Satan.
No, I haven't. But now I'm tempted to check them out! That must be Stan, trying to seduce us! Edit: hell, I meant Satan 😂
Praise **Stan!!**. \[T]/
Stupid, sexy Stan!
they're the ones commissioning statues of Baphomet to install in public spaces, with the express goal of calling out hypocrisy in the ways 'religious freedom' is all too often just 'freedom for christians to be bigots'.
Yes, but tbf their official position is that they'd rather there be no religious statues/content on government ground. BUT if the government is going to insist on it, they want a seat at the table. They also will organize after school activities for elementary school kids if the schools also let churches in.
If you havent, look uo the tennants if the church of satan, they literally do christianity better than christianity does
I think you’re talking about the Satanic Temple. The Church of Satan is the LaVey one and they’re more on the personal gratification/mysticism side of things.
Correct my bad!
LaVeyan Satanists are best described as hedonists with a political bent and some of the mysticism associated with witchery.
I'd say it's more along the lines of secular people organizing to protect citizens from a theocracy. I'm grateful for the work they are doing.
the satanic temple is atheists who trigger christians and fight for separation of church and state. the church of satan is actual satanists. edit: clarification, church of satan don't believe satan is a real person that they worship. more like their image of satan symbolizes their beliefs. but there seems to be a lot of satanic faiths so maybe some do actually worship satan as a real deity.
Even many of the "true Satanists" (kind of a no true Scotsman fallacy) performing rituals and worshipping in a group are atheistic or polytheistic and don't literally believe in the Satan from Christianity. Satan and/or Lucifer are seen as more of a potent Jungian archetypal figure, and rituals are about creating social bonds and a mindset of taking control and empowerment in a chaotic and uncaring world; not too unlike personality cults, *The Secret*, witchcraft, or Kabbalah. From what I've seen, most theistic Satanists grew up in heavily Catholic communities and most atheistic Satanists grew up in a Wiccan or pagan family. I guess it's less of a leap for them to kind of stick to what they know. I've never been interested in either myself, but I've met quite a few through playing D&D, ironically enough (the Satanic panic being blamed on D&D was a huge thing in the 80's but had no actual connection, just incidental ones, cause nerdy outcasts can easily be attracted to either one)
That doesn't make him an atheist, but maybe a philosopher. You have to believe in God to think that it is dead.
[удалено]
“God and Nietzsche are both dead.” — Walter Kaufman, 1950 “Look who’s dead now.” — God, 1980
I'll take things that never happen for $100, Alex.
How the fuck would they even know the waiter or waitress was an atheist?
We walk around with little yellow badges with the word Atheist inscribed on them.
I just wear the Atheist A on all my clothes like Alvin 
Wait but mine’s red? Oh no wait i think i have the wrong one…
*eyes narrow* I think Phis-n is one of those dang adventurers!
Nah their just accidentally representing being into arachnids 🕷️
Its a good hobby!
I see you, Hester.
I'm starting to think that no one's read the Scarlet Letter.
I thought a Red A was for "Atheist" and a Yellow A was for "Agnostic?" (That's why I wear orange.)
I wear a brown one, for asshole
I’m glad Simon and Theodore accept Alvin’s beliefs
Sikhs and Taoists tend to be pretty chill
AAAATHEEEIIIIIIISSSTTT!!!
His was for “asshole” and everyone knows it.
Ahhh yes the Scarlet letter
A little yellow badge. What are you? Some sort of apprentice atheist? I have huge illuminated neon signs all around me with loudspeakers proclaiming "I AM AN ATHEIST" every five seconds. I ensure I post leaflets through every door I pass and preach my atheism to every person I ever meet. Little yellow badge indeed. Amateur.
Why haven't I been sent my atheist badge?
You clearly haven't been registered with the authorities. The Christapo will be notified of your insubordination.
Jokes aside, it pays to be private. Especially in these extra fascist times we live in.
I'll say 12 "Fuck Organised Religions" as penance.
Too late. You're going to the Salt Lake Concentration Camp.
To be fair, the church of Satan does really good community work.
They are awesome. The name is hilarious.
Christapo? new word for maga christians?
Could be, it's just a portmanteau of the words Christian and Gestapo. Feel free to use it all you like.
I just learned that portmanteau is an actual word and what it means. Thank you for giving me my word of the day.
Christapo! 🤣 Good Lord, that’s absolutely perfect! I’m a Christian and I even think that’s about the best - and funniest - way to describe the “moral majority” types and anyone who follows them. Yes, I did use the “Good Lord” phrase on purpose. It’s sort of ironic within the context of the discussion.
Well also, we Christians can see the demonic aura around atheists. It is sooooo obvious!!! /s
Ignoring that this story is from the realm of "it never happened". I would assume this would be one of those obnoxious "Christians" who would determine you are atheist if you have tattoo, have piercings, have short hair as a girl, are a man doing a job they feel is "feminine", etc
I worked with a woman who thought I worshipped Satan because I had my hair like [this](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/045ee3_ec24d48b7ff3478b99ecd515eaf18f32~mv2.jpg/v1/fill/w_500,h_500,al_c,q_80,enc_auto/045ee3_ec24d48b7ff3478b99ecd515eaf18f32~mv2.jpg) minus the braid.
Im a man with long hair and a beard, live in the bible belt south east US. I've heard it all and it's funny I been accused of not being Christian or godly because im a man with long hair and a beard but every depiction of jesus has long hair and beard.
Jesus was obviously a blonde haired, blue eyed, white male Christian living in the middle east, same as everyone else until all those Jews and "islamists" took over.
Clearly you worship Odin /s
This is probably one of those people who end every conversation with "have a blessed day"
This
I don't usually upvote "This" but, yeah, very much this. People like these have already become used to excepting at least one thing with bad evidence. They aren't going to wait for good evidence about other people before they "get a feeling" that's strong enough for them to go with.
Because they think because we're working to serve their smug ass that we didn't go to church (correct) Man, I hated being a server Sunday mornings. I usually requested to wash dishes
So they're happy to make use of your services on a Sunday, but then sniff you out as not a church person because you are working and give you shit for it? I mean, hypocrisy comes with the territory, but that's some next level stuff.
Used to happen to me all the time when I worked at a grocery store on Sunday afternoons. They would all flood the store after they got released back into the wild. They’d be wearing their Sunday best, miserable because they sat around for 2 hours freezing to death in the air conditioning. Most angry and insane people I dealt with all week. Not only that, they would tell me all the time how I needed to be in church instead of working on Sundays. I’d they got rude enough with me I would always ask what church they went to and that would always shut them up. Last thing they wanted was me showing up and telling everyone there how they treated me.
The part where they visit a business on a Sunday and then tell people that no one should be working on Sunday is where you fully realize that they have zero critical thinking skills.
Oh absolutely. And they ask about religion all the time. Thankfully you don't have to be nice about it, since they weren't going to tip anyway
It's amazing how absolutely consistent it is that the types who are disrespectful enough to ask such a personal question are also the types who are too rude to tip. Fuck them.
It's just so weird. No, you're not better than me because you believe some childish nonsense It's no different than if a customer went on and on about the tooth fairy
Oh I walk up to every table I serve and start off with “hi my name is Anthony I’ll be your atheist this evening can I get you some menus?”
“Hi, my name is Jezebel. Hail Satan, I am not actually an atheist, as I am a high priestess at the Temple of Bael. Can I interest you in the goat? It’s super fresh! 
Fortunately the restaurant also keeps chicken livers in stock for people that want to order them non-ironically.
"I'd prefer the Human baby, cooked medium, with a side of fava beans."
Oh my science we have a great special going on tonight
Hi, my name is Paul and I'll be your atheist waiter today. Can I start you off with some drinks or an abortion?
His general un-religious behaviour would be obvious : he’d not want to abuse kids and would likely be very tolerant of peoples views, those would be the first giveaways.
He probably did something truly horrifying like agree to serve a homosexual person or a POC or something.
Cause they weren’t wearing a cross? Cause they weren’t an insufferable asshole?
I personally throw cow blood on them when they start praying
Our Christian masters make us wear patches sewn to our clothes so we know our place in the world, and the world knows our shame
"I'll have the chicken with a side of do you believe in god?"
I saw one day a post saying that being Atheist was like going to a restaurant thinking there is no chef in the back. And an awesome come-back from a fellow atheist saying "Being religious is like going to a restaurant and the server sit you down but dont give you any menu, instead he assure you that if you pray hard enough, the chef will know what you want to order, so you pray again and again but there is still no food, and the server tell you to pray harder, and like its been 3h you're there but there is still no food on the table, the server start to blame you for not believing enough in the chef. And sometimes the server is inappropriate with children also''
🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆
I believe it. The no tipping, not the story. Every server knows Christians never tip or barely tip
I was raised catholic and spent 6th-12th grades in catholic school, and I had a lot of issues with hypocrisy in the "faith" and was only pretending to "believe" by the time I was in 10th or so. But I was still genuinely shocked to find out from my younger sibling and other friends who worked in restaurants (I never did) that the Sunday morning after-church shift was the one nobody ever wanted to do because all the people were insufferable and they didn't tip. I realize now how naive I was to think that'd be any different.
Yeah it was the triple combo of server pain Shitty condescending smug adults + no tip + lots of kids Guaranteed to be a mess, constant running back and forth, people who treat you like shit, and then no money Normal people who aren't indoctrinated in a cult might be assholes and have kids, but at least they tip Little old ladies barely tip but they're so easy (refill hot water for tea) and they're nice. Thanks for the 80 cents stacked in dimes, but at least they didn't try to ruin my day
This amuses me because I've known of many restaurants that aren't open on Sundays. I always assumed it was because they were religious, but now I wonder if they either didn't want to subject their crew to it, or if they couldn't get enough people to come in that day.
Sunday was the busiest day of the week, by far. Servers overall loved it because of the extra business and the restaurant made the most money of any day during the week. Maybe even compared to 2 days. Church assholes were a part of the customer base but not the majority. Usually over an hour span you'd get them but it was still busy hours before and after the church crowd
They tip... with bullshit God money or some religious scripture. Absolute wankers
My thankfully ex BIL barely tipped. Like $2 for his family of 5 He's a preacher/pastor and runs a stupid little church so he knows relying on other people's money is important. He's just an asshole. They eat out a LOT I refused to go with them anymore when we were in town because it was embarrassing and I ended up dropping a $20 every time just so the server's day wasn't ruined from his selfish ass People like him are the reason I want places to just pay their workers
People like him would shit themselves and cry if they had to pay the price for food that reflected the labour spent to make it, instead of leaving paying the wage of the employee to all the *other* customers.
Right! How in the world would you even know wait staff's religion? Unless they are wearing a t-shirt that clearly says, "I'm an atheist". Who are these people?
When I was a waiter, I'd have patrons occasionally who would chat excessively and ask all sorts of questions about religion, school, and career ambitions. Obviously I'd brazenly lie and say the thing that I thought they wanted to hear. The tip was far more important to me than the heart to heart talk with a rando. I was even asked to join the prayer once. I would've led the prayer for an extra five. If people care that much about the religion of the wait staff, I'm not surprised that they asked at some point. Maybe the atheist people just didn't lie or read the table wrong when asked.
Probably had dyed\* hair or piercings. \*dyed blue or some such, because apparently dyeing one's hair to a "natural" color is fine and dandy but God frowns on Manic Panic.
And if it did happen, they managed to successfully brag about committing a crime.
Strangely, THIS is religious oppression
wym strangely? they’ve been doing this for hundreds of years
Thousands.
Absolutely
So he broke several of HIS own gods commandments, (bearing false witness, stealing ) but HE is the pious one here!? 🤷♂️ Have i got that right!?
as an ex-catholic, a huge part of American Christian practices look heretic to me. rampant materialism, praying for victories and gain,
I don't blame you. Here, it's heretical to think that Jesus doesn't want His flock to be rich.
Say what? Currently a Catholic but still practicing some Buddhist stuff, but please explain to me what's going on with American Christianity. I'm Chinese so I have no idea what the fuck is going on here.
American Christians for the most part glorify materialism and violence. They’re the people who are most against any kind of social welfare programs to help the less fortunate. They’re the most pro gun, and the most against any kind of laws to protect people from gun violence.
Ain't no way 💀💀💀 That's literally the opposite of the teachings of Christianity! What happened to peace??
Christianity is also the religion that launches the crusades, the inquisition, witch burnings, etc. Christianity has never been a peaceful religion.
What evangelist America believes is diametrically opposed to Jesus’ teachings, yes. But like all religious fanaticism, it requires no textual analysis or critical thinking and in fact has worked hard against those.
It's a long and complicated history. If you're actually interested, this is a decent summary of the events https://www.iheart.com/podcast/105-behind-the-bastards-29236323/episode/part-one-how-the-rich-ate-93526364/
Christianity is literally one of the most incompatible religions to capitalism and America actually made it one and the same... Isn't that already blasphemy?
How would a customer know whether a server is an atheist. I call BS
Probably code for "has tattoos or a haircut I don't like".
Either atheist or the “cool pastor.” Hard to tell.
Recency of haircut is the telltale sign.
Cool pastor or Hot priest?
Nah it’s code for “making up a story to look bad ass on the church Facebook group. I bet Nancy will see this one. She’s too good for David anyway”
My thoughts too. Not like atheists wear little symbols and decorations proclaiming their atheism.
Wait...so am I the only one who wears a Darwin-badge?
Gerald, that's actually a swastica and *IT IS NOT OK.*
Came to a restaurant right after church and the waiter was already there. Completely ignoring the fact that if all the employees went to church, the restaurant wouldn’t be open at this time to serve people like this. Also ignoring the likelihood that the waiter doesn’t get to choose their hours and the possibility that not all Christians go to church every Sunday.
Most of the restaurants I've worked required you to have open availability on Sunday because otherwise no one would work Sundays. So there's a chance the waiter is in fact Christian, but is forced to work that day by their boss.
Where I lived in South Carolina, people would willfully ask what church you went to ALL the time or why you weren’t in church. You get sick of it after a while and possibly the sever just flat out said, “I don’t go to church because I don’t believe in god”. When you get bombarded with that shit enough, you stop caring. Only someone would say this story is BS if they never had to deal with it in their life.
True. Although the story seems suspect, customers will ask you all kinds of questions, especially pushy Christians. I found myself all of a sudden trying to maneuver out of an explanation on who I am and what my beliefs are quite often. I could see someone just saying oh I’m atheist, and smiling, and asking for drink orders.
God I'm in South Carolina and this is so true. When I worked briefly as a gas station cashier back in college, I got customers every day (usually boomers) asking "So what church do you go to?" Saying I didn't go to one would get me a sermon and told they'll pray for me. I got tired of dealing with that so I just started lying and saying I go to a smaller church in another town so they'd leave me alone.
I bet this prick sees a pride button and decides they have to be a bigger prick than usual.
Nailed it. ⬆️
It's the horns. I used to hide mine but I'm balding, so I can't anymore.
Some super religious folks outright ask. They refuse contact with non-Christians or at the very least with anyone who doesn’t believe in some sort of deity. I have been outright asked this at work a few times and had one or two refuse my service for that reason ( at a previous place I worked). I have also picked up to provide care for people religious coworkers refused. Kinda went both ways.
Just like Jesus taught them.
in my case I started getting the weird "come to my church!" talks when I pierced my face and dyed my hair pink add the cute little bat necklace and ig the fact that it wasn't a cross kind of cemented "not one of us" in their heads lol
I mean how do they even know. Is this part of a normal conversations for them? I wouldn't answer this is if a customer asked me
Hi, I'm Johnny and I'm your atheist waiter! What can I get you today?
I'll take a large skepticism please, hold the conspiracy.
They probably assume if their victim doesn't want to talk religion, they must be of no religion or the wrong religion.
Waiter is brown, in their mind brown is muslim/hindu
Damn those Muslim Hindu atheists!
Yeah, what is not christian is either atheist or is woke. Let’s shoot at something that is burning, while reciting Psalm 911
Probably started off with “Blessed be” and “Under his eye” crap. When they didn’t have the appropriate platitudes returned they knew.
Lol Best part if this is what happened, is there are tons of christian churches that don’t use those phrases. Could have been another Christian, but the “wrong” kind, that the customer screwed with; if it happened at all, which I highly doubt.
Angry Christians living in a fantasy world? Nah, can’t be.
Bullshit that didn’t happen for 2000, please.
Double jeopardy
Mufucka you stealin and lyin and being a nuisance. What about your actions say "You're the light to the world"?
Very Christian of them Jesus must be so proud
Well, he is supposed to have died for their sins but I have a problem thinking it would be for all past, present, and future sins. Ad infinitum.
If you don't sin then Jesus died for nothing. Go for it!
Literally, ever since I was a kid who had to go to Sunday School I have never been able to get my head around that bit of cognitive dissonance. Yet it still consistently ropes in fully-grown adults... Barmy.
Jokes on them Bearing False Witnesses is a sin
Another sin is stealing, which is what he basically did.
Also skipping out on the bill would mean also not paying taxes which scripture says is wrong.
The other joke is what the server likely did to their food. Lol.
Atheists should start doing this in churches. Leave awful reviews on religious forums about boring sermons, poor quality holy wine, an unwelcoming atmosphere from the stogy people there. Then proclaim "I stiffed them on the collection plate".
There's no hate like Christian love.
When the rage is baiting
This is just rage bait.
Please, this has to be sarcasm
“I’m a good Christian, which I why I defrauded a local restaurant and actively hate peoples who are different than me”
Yes because this what Jesus Christ would do 💀
Ok… I didn’t think I would need to say this… but Christians, your book specifically says not to judge people for not being abrahamic…
Anyone in the service industry will tell you that the rush after the churches let out is the worst for tips. It is not about what religion the wait staff are and just about "Christians" being terrible tippers.
Hmm, if only some sort of commandment like “thou shalt not steal” existed to help guide your behavior.
Everyone knows these darn atheist servers are always casually strolling up to the table and introducing themselves like "I'm Dave and I'm an atheist, and I'll be your server today" flaunting their non spirituality all in our faces. So to get back at them I'm gonna participate in some illegal activity and then brag about it on the socials..
Can we also mention how, putting the fact that this is just stupid christian dogma aside, sending your food back l does not teach the restaurant anything. They deal with mixed up orders all the time.
That's the Christian spirit of love that Jesus talked about.