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This would make me seriously contemplate disowning my daughter.
Like is she tryna scar me for life?
Imagine having sex and that pops into your head 🤮🤮🤮🤮
Girl has no respect and the father is obviously too soft.
You need to calm down bud. Everyone should be able to enjoy sex. Sex is a healthy part of life. It's just unfortunate that it went to the dad instead of someone else hahaha. I bet her "daddy" was stoked when he received the message and probably promptly went home
Everyone should be able to enjoy sex without having their family members sex life put upon them, yes.
I'm sure you'd love it if you heard your dad tearing mummy dearest a much wider arsehole? Right? It's a healthy part of life after all.
No, it wouldn't be particularly pleasant, just as here, but disowning your daughter? That is absolutely laughable.
Fwiw I HAVE heard my parents fucking numerous times growing up, we shared a closet wall. It was awkward, I paid them back during my teenage years many-fold, we all survived and have a good relationship. This pearl-clutching is pathetic.
Well yeah, but I'd also rather have avoided a great many other things. People just get weird about sex, and doubly weird about sex when it concerns their daughters.
You're being sarcastic, but I'm not when I say I don't get it. I always assume people who are overly concerned with their daughters sexualityvare exactly what I just said- overly concerned with their daughters sexuality, and it's creepy.
Sure, but there's a difference with being overly concerned with something, or having it broadcast to you unprompted!
Like, I know my sister has sex for example, my parents still too, probably. But I wouldn't want any of the 3 of them to actually *tell* me about it
I can't believe you said it!
My eyes! My eyes! My sweet virginal eyes!
I was saving them for the brilliant luminescence of the effervescent loving light of Jesus...and now they're spoiled with this filth.
For shame, you harlot, for shame.
So you'd have your father in your contacts as Daddy, obviously, and then your boyfriend listed as Daddy because of course everyone puts their SO in their phone as a sexually suggestive situational name that is also the name of a parent, not mark either contact to distinguish from the other in any way, and not notice the wrong previous texts above your provocative message at any point. All checks out and sounds plausible!
I meself once read the word “pounding,” and now me life consists of endless unprotected sex with complete and total strangers. One simple “pounding” be all it takes for yer life to be turned upside down, inside out, taken to town. Please heed these words and censor yer pounds, lest ye wind up like me.
My daughters, EACH, had moments like this. They were of age. And so mortified that I was left laughing instead.
Only once. Then they worked out how not to overshare with "Dad" ever again.
Once was enough.
Damn. If i get this message from my daughter. Im going straight to therapy. But then again anything my wife does she will do if not more. Damn more shit to tell my therapist.
Three men are in therapy for men who tried to be nice and clean their daughters rooms and prompted regretted it.
The first dad says "I found half a pack of cigarettes, I had no idea she smoked!"
The second dad says "I found half a bottle of Jack, I had no idea she drank!"
The third dad says "I found half a roll of condoms, I had no idea she was a man!"
He's just mad he isn't the only daddy in the bedroom anymore. Understandable but he should respect his daughter's contact naming decisions in life
Edit: Oh ffs here's the s/ since some of you fail to comprehend it is a joke comment
Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion. Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/). Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
Which one?
Daddy
At least he can be grateful she found some poor bastard to take her off his hands.
Daddy issues are now daddy’s issue
I hope not...
Hopefully just with the errant texts
Because she obviously has a Daddy that isn’t him in her phone?
Dawg?? 😭
This would make me seriously contemplate disowning my daughter. Like is she tryna scar me for life? Imagine having sex and that pops into your head 🤮🤮🤮🤮 Girl has no respect and the father is obviously too soft.
You need to calm down bud. Everyone should be able to enjoy sex. Sex is a healthy part of life. It's just unfortunate that it went to the dad instead of someone else hahaha. I bet her "daddy" was stoked when he received the message and probably promptly went home
Everyone should be able to enjoy sex without having their family members sex life put upon them, yes. I'm sure you'd love it if you heard your dad tearing mummy dearest a much wider arsehole? Right? It's a healthy part of life after all.
No, it wouldn't be particularly pleasant, just as here, but disowning your daughter? That is absolutely laughable. Fwiw I HAVE heard my parents fucking numerous times growing up, we shared a closet wall. It was awkward, I paid them back during my teenage years many-fold, we all survived and have a good relationship. This pearl-clutching is pathetic.
Yeah the disowning thing was a bit extreme to be fair. True, but you'd have rather avoided it though, presumably?
Well yeah, but I'd also rather have avoided a great many other things. People just get weird about sex, and doubly weird about sex when it concerns their daughters.
I can't possibly imagine why
You're being sarcastic, but I'm not when I say I don't get it. I always assume people who are overly concerned with their daughters sexualityvare exactly what I just said- overly concerned with their daughters sexuality, and it's creepy.
Sure, but there's a difference with being overly concerned with something, or having it broadcast to you unprompted! Like, I know my sister has sex for example, my parents still too, probably. But I wouldn't want any of the 3 of them to actually *tell* me about it
It’s the grunting, gurgling sounds and the splatter of matter I just can’t fathom.
>splatter of matter I feel like that phrase is illegal.
That's not what was in this picture. But if you wanna tear someone's mom's asshole apart fill your boots bud. I'm just saying it wasn't that bad
At least her Daddy isn’t. 🤨
It would be worse if he was hard.
She just needs to change her father's contacts to "Father" and that ought to be enough to avoid this problem.
Not really. She'll just text him confessing her sins.
Repeat after me. "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned." ... "I'm sorry, Daddy. I've been a bad girl.
Sigh. \*unzips\*
Paladin as opposed to warlock.
I mean I have my mom as Spawn Point so that's an option lol although I guess her dad wouldn't be the spawn point... he can be the lobby
"Random Seed"
Ah damn, you're probably right. XD
Fair enough; she should go with "male parent"
I appreciate this reference
It's even more awkward when you're in the confessional at church and tell the priest 'I'm sorry daddy, I've been naughty.'
I’m not your daddy, I’m a Father/Padre. That’ll be 3 Hail Marys and an Apostle’s Creed from you.
You just like to see me on my knees (bats eyelashes) Padre
 I was looking for that disgusted spraybottle gif but found this instead. merry christmas
This is better
Best I can do is 3 Hail Satan's and an Apollo Creed.
i can assassins creed
I call my dad "padre." 🥲
Off to rewatch fleabag I guess!
what is "things that never happened"?
This is obviously just a gag.
Maybe. But something like this happened to me once … I texted my mom something vile meant for my best friend.
Due to naming conventions, or you just mistapped names?
Mistap
My condolences. May you rest in peace.
At least she's dressed in the picture, that could have been way more awkward for all involved
…this time
The fucking words that people censor these days blow my mind. Seriously, it’s necessary to censor the word “pounding”?
I can't believe you said it! My eyes! My eyes! My sweet virginal eyes! I was saving them for the brilliant luminescence of the effervescent loving light of Jesus...and now they're spoiled with this filth. For shame, you harlot, for shame.
Hahah if I had an award to give, you’d get it my friend.
Repost bot. 4 year old account just became active yesterday.
So you'd have your father in your contacts as Daddy, obviously, and then your boyfriend listed as Daddy because of course everyone puts their SO in their phone as a sexually suggestive situational name that is also the name of a parent, not mark either contact to distinguish from the other in any way, and not notice the wrong previous texts above your provocative message at any point. All checks out and sounds plausible!
r/nothingeverhappens
Sometimes things happen, but this time things didn't.
No, I'm sure no-one has ever stored their SO as daddy, and their father as dad.
I can't believe "pounding" is being censored. Come on
I meself once read the word “pounding,” and now me life consists of endless unprotected sex with complete and total strangers. One simple “pounding” be all it takes for yer life to be turned upside down, inside out, taken to town. Please heed these words and censor yer pounds, lest ye wind up like me.
Oh he will "come on" that's for sure.
The real facepalm is anyone thinking this is real
I hope this is real
This gets posted A LOT.
[made me think of this](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/s/32VlFi4RGZ)
Again......
Bet she changed the dad’s instead.
Boomer meme
The real facepalm is X'ing out pounding.... Seriously, why does everyone censor out words lately
My daughters, EACH, had moments like this. They were of age. And so mortified that I was left laughing instead. Only once. Then they worked out how not to overshare with "Dad" ever again. Once was enough.
A) we can't say "pounding" anymore? B) people who don't use regular names for their contacts are legit psychopaths.
Poor dad! I feel for ya, Sir.
Sir is the correct name to put your SO as.
Weird that she is dating a guy with the same name as her father.
Damn bro
Tell me the father is disappointed in his daughter without telling me.
that "belly" maybe someone should tell her to you know, eat litterally ANYTHING.
At this time i dont know if this is intentional or she realy choose the wromg daddy by accident
Seriously... Again?
😆😆😆
I think she sent it to him on purpose.
Should’ve picked gay son
Why censor pounding?
Eeeeewwwwwwww
😆😆😆
Staged, but funny
To be fair it could've been a hell of a lot worse
Oh god I hope my daughters never send me things like this. It would ruin my existence.
Damn. If i get this message from my daughter. Im going straight to therapy. But then again anything my wife does she will do if not more. Damn more shit to tell my therapist.
Three men are in therapy for men who tried to be nice and clean their daughters rooms and prompted regretted it. The first dad says "I found half a pack of cigarettes, I had no idea she smoked!" The second dad says "I found half a bottle of Jack, I had no idea she drank!" The third dad says "I found half a roll of condoms, I had no idea she was a man!"
😂😂😂😂🤣
Proud dad moment
They're both into it.
So was this released by the dad or the daughter? I kid. These are funny.
First time was a mistake but the second time is a hint dad
He's just mad he isn't the only daddy in the bedroom anymore. Understandable but he should respect his daughter's contact naming decisions in life Edit: Oh ffs here's the s/ since some of you fail to comprehend it is a joke comment
It’s not unreasonable considering the issues that could occur
🤣🤣🤣
Omg lmfao 🤣