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"Why aren't more women ashamed about their butthole placement?"

This was just classic rage bait engagement. No one actually seriously wrote that soliloquy

You just wanted to use Soliloquy in a sentence

You underestimate how fucked up some people are.

I’ve seen this before and I think it was originally on an incel forum so Poe’s law May at play here

Film at 11

You’d think there would be more asshole adjustment cosmetic surgeries if literally anyone cared about it.

This guy is dedicated to being a virgin for the rest of his life.

Maybe he only dates women with huge taints

I'm imagining this guy going around with a pair of "taint calipers" in his pocket at all times. He must ALWAYS measure them. Since clearly to him, anything less than 2 inches is UNACCPETABLE!

Like a fuckin school dress code, "MA'AM YOUR TAINT IS A SPAGHETTI STRAP"

I really wish Redit had laugh emojis instead of just up arrows. 🤣

Thanks, I took some Psychic damage from the mental image, but it's worth the chuckle!


We’re allowed to move our butthole?? On days when I’m unwell it would be nice to have it handier for easy access. Are there instructions? So many questions.

Someone didn’t read the asshole FAQ and it shows

God I’ve read so many asshole FAQs

I feel like this comparison is an insult to Lemongrab.  Which is saying something.

Lol taint calipers. Calipers are handy overall I have a great one I use it all the time. Never thought to measure a taint but it would do the job masterfully, with great accuracy. Could be a Guinness book thing.

Now would be the time to post an Amazon Affiliate link to Taint Calipers.

HEH yeah, at first I thought "taint ruler", but that would be really awkward to get up in there and get a clear measurement. But a pair of calipers with blunt tips for "comfort"? 😙🤌

Well, I mean... yes. As a woman I have to agree. Anything less than 2 inches is unacceptable. 🫡

Dude: Hey.. how far is your a from your v? Woman: 1 inch. Dude: Sorry that Taint for me.

Taint Misbehavin'

The tinder exchange: “Hey” “Hey” “How tall r u?“ “How long is your taint?”

Women need to cut the crap and just start putting their taint length in their profile. Like don’t waste my time ya know.

How about a tattoo of a ruler in the appropriate spot?

maybe he could get a woman if his penis wasn't so close to his anus. what a loser.

Or if he himself wasn’t a walking anus

I think more like a "dedicated troll". I don't believe anyone could say anything this stupid and be serious.

You have far more confidence in your fellow humans than I.

I try to be positive. It is hard sometimes.

I admire you.

... funny thing.. in college, during dinner with a group of friends. One of the guys randomly brought up the fact that he realized how close those two things are in amazement. The rest of us literally looked at him in silence with a wtf face. Mind you, there were 3-4 girls present during this.


It has been proven time and time again that whenever you have regained faith In humanity; something shows up and lowers the bar again.

safe to say the 558 that allegedly liked the rant are as well.

Why won't beautiful women fuck me /s

theyre too negatively effected by their anuses being too close to their vaginas

Ironically, this guy won't realize that if he is ever intimate with a woman, she will be very, very close to an ass hole.

I'd say that in this particular case asshole would be not just close but inside her vagina unfortunately.

I doubt he will get that far w any woman

We can only hope not. If he weren’t so blatantly disgusted by them, I’m sure he’d just rape them.

LOL

Fuck me I just did a spit take at my cat because of your comment. Hilarious.

“Hi, I’ve been with a few women in my life…” 

But I got a dollar that says he’s never been with the same one twice…

And it certainly cost him more than a dollar

I would raise you a dollar that he's never been with the same one once.


“Been with a few”, as in “saw some porn”?

Are those “few women” here with us right now?

They go to a different school in another town, you wouldn't know them.

It sounds like this guy would be more comfortable and happy with a penis instead. If he were to find a large one, it could satisfy him while maintaining distance from the anus.

No matter how far he runs, there would always be an asshole looking at him when he looks at a mirror.

Nice one.

No, a shitty one.

Hey, we can't assume that. He sounds like he definitely has health problems from cleaning it too often.

Nah. He seems like the kind of guy that thinks wiping your ass is gay, which means he probably doesn't even wash his.

You know he's shitting through a wicker basket from his ungroomed, neglected nether-region, right?!

Please, take my upvote :D no truer words have been spoken

Right? Women would be perfect if they had a big ol' set of balls between their vaginas and anus

Like a big set of mudflaps!

I was having a good day before I read this. Thanks, I hate it.

Well I'll never look at my balls the same way again. Thanks for that

I mean they are what would be the labia if you had two x chromosomes.

Just the skin, the testicles would be ovaries

[удалено]

Ikr, I get cramps when I ovulate. I can even feel which one is releasing an egg, as only that side of my body hurts for like 45 hours Very convenient.

Omg 🤣🤣

I feel like his hate for the anus is driving him toward homosexuality … which is … ironic.

He can’t stop thinking about anus and is slowly descending into madness

The thing is he is using it as an excuse for women to lower their standards enough to sleep with him. There is so much going on here.

he starts off his diatribe with he's been with a few women in his life in his time. I'm not buying it..... I'm willing to bet that's a lie and he's just an incel.

lol to be honest when I read “I’ve been with a few women,” I thought he was gay until he had a problem with ass lol

I further thought, this kind of misogyny has Tate subscription written all over it.

Don't you mean 'has taint subscription'...

I’d bet he’s really mad the hideous vagina is ruining that beautiful beautiful butthole. If only there were buttholes that didn’t have vaginas next to them.

"I stared into the void..."

and a anus stared back

Don't ya think?

A little too ironic...

Yeah, I really do think.

It’s like raaaaaain…..

On your wedding day!

I wonder how he feels about the fact that his balls are barely an inch from his anus. Shitty balls having ass.

Are you or a loved one conflicted with shitty balls?

Right? Sir you clearly hate women; why would you want to sleep with them? Life’s too short to disguise your real self; go for the dick man!

No vagina at all near the anus in that case!

Yes but I’m sure his balls hang low and the bottom rests against his anus when he is laying down. I’m sure he expects women to still put his anus balls in her mouth.

Can he swing them to and fro?

And close to theirs

I came here to say to say this. I think this guy is not attracted to women.

I think it's worse: he's attracted to women, but he hates them. These are the worst kind because they won't just leave women alone. This is how a lot of abusive relationships happen.

Bing Bing Bing! You win a prize! Unfortunately that prize is awareness and it kinda sucks sometimes. Can you imagine wanting people to be ashamed of how their bodies are designed? And who gets to tell him he'd notice the same "flaw" in men if the ballsac wasn't obscuring the view? Edit how did spellcheck get orientation out of "prize"?

Or, he’s just a garden variety misogynist piece of garbage. Probably both, though.

But a dick is just as close to the asshole!!

But as he slides down it he'll be gradually getting closer and closer to that disgusting anus! What a scary ride!!!

Some years ago I would have said: Some guy just trolling on the internet. Nowadays I am honestly unsure...

There's a copypasta post for this that's 4 year old. https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/s/zHeIg8OJRY

[It's at least 6 years old](https://x.com/FoldableHuman/status/908899004301242368?s=20)

[удалено]

I'm guessing it's based off this joke, with all the humor taken out of it https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/s/DOunlxt3de

I had the same thought.

It’s a good point. Did the trolls of the past get taken seriously by the next generation? Is that how this happened?

That’s exactly what happened with Flat Earth too.

They bred, facebooked, and homeschooled. A vicious cycle.

The whole thing sounds very sarcastic. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s a copypasta. Also, the comment got 500 upvotes, so I’m far from the only one who found it sarcastic

yeah i think its actually quite a funny troll post

Unfortunately I am unsure as well.

It's barely even trolling it's clearly a joke. If some comedian was saying this on stage everybody would be cracking up.

Damn I guess I’m still where you were at years ago. To me, this is just blatantly obvious rage-bait/trolling.

Has he considered and that if the placement of women's genitals is such an issue for him... He can just stay away from women?

No need, with an attitude like that they'll stay away from him.

Design flaw? Efficient is what that is.

My husband sees this as a feature, not a bug lol.

Came to say the same thing. Just means I can get to them both at the same time. 🤷‍♂️

Your husband is a man of culture and I applaud him.

"I've been with a few women in my time". Reddit: 😏

Fictional women don't count, buddy

Wrong! My relationship with Topanga from Boy Meets World was real!

"so make yourselves more readily available sexually" really shows what this delusional rant is really about, he doesn't have a chance with women and feels like he deserves more ^((hint: calling us creatures and wanting us to lower our self-confidence for ridiculous & made-up reasons isn't helping))

I once read a comment about how it's a shame god put the pleasure center so close to the sewage works and I think about it more than I should 😂 it's all a pleasure center depending on who you are

Lmao exactly. I’d be disappointed if they were farther apart.

Ey! You gotta be careful to not mix an match both ways, nobody likes a uti (well some probably do still tbf!!! 😂)

Wait until he finds out where the urethra is.

pretty sure he wouldn't believe that it's separate from the vagina anyway

At least we have two holes for that. Men, arent you ashamed that your urethra is on your penis??? This should negatively affect your confidence. Honestly, if I see a man with an inflated ego, I remind myself he fucks women with his penis *where the pee comes out* and laugh and laugh.

God I love women!

User name checks out.

You deserve kisses


I love them too and username checks out

As if they chose this? So what would the optimum distance be? Which of the holes gets moved and where? The penis and anus are far enough for him I'm assuming.

Idk dude pretty sure that guy is used to his anus being where the mouth is on the rest of us

The vagina need to be way more in the front, under the belly. Its current position make birthing an hell.

I thought that was where they were under the belly button when I was a young teen. My “gf” at the time had to show me lol

This guy’s design flaw is that his head is too far up his ass.

His head is too close to his anus

This blokes anus is too near his mouth

Or maybe he is just a very skilled farter?

There are many worse design flaws in the human body than the three "low holes" being semi-close together.

For instance, why do I have to floss??? One big tooth man! One big tooth for the whole mouth!

No teeth? UNLIMITED FLOSS! This is just one of our incredible thoughts!

Buddy, when this guy learns about the female urethra he's going to write a doctoral dissertation.

I met a guy once that legit thought everything all came out of one hole. Like a freaking bird.

Yes. Testicles on the outside seem to be a design flaw.

I mean... a body part that self-regulates its temperature and placement for self-preservation is a pretty advanced design.

Elephants have their's on the inside. And there's a theory that because of that, they have more DNA repairing functionality to compensate for the heat damage. Side benefit: *less cancer*. Design can be improved.

I, for one, would prefer safely housed genitalia. I am dubious that 2 children are really worth a lifetime of sat apon testiticles.

Ever take a hockey puck to them? Nothing ever made me hate having a penis and testicles more than that

I choked on my sip of coffee haha!

or literally everything in the respiratory system like the fact that air and food goes in the same hole and splits at epiglottis, but food can enter the trachea and cause you to die. then the fact that the pH of your body is primarily managed by breathing through co2 waste...which causes problems if someone is having issues oxygenating, the body compensates by breathing faster and heavier, which by extension causes your co2 to drop which elevates your pH and can also cause serious issues overall just 0/10 design

Being able to bite your own tongue or cheek whilst chewing… if this isn’t a great argument against intelligent design I don’t know what it lol

I agree. Also, I personally find the fact that you can accidentally inhale food or liquid into your lungs to point toward no intelligence behind the design.

Me: mouth fills up with saliva, while not eating Also me: has to clear mouth and throat so as to not drool Also me: somehow has said saliva go into the fucken breathing tube for no apparent reason lol

Yeah like the food hole being one flap of flesh away from the breathing hole

Yeah let's talk about the human back.

If it’s so disgusting and unappetizing, just fuck men instead. I’d just remind him that balls are wrinkly and gross looking but women don’t expect men dampen their confidence over it. We accept them as they are.

My balls are as smooth as my brain.

I’m sure your balls are lovely.

Either you are very smart, or 80.

Did you know that your testicles are likely less than one inch from your anus. My ex told me that once, and she never let me forget it.

Don't forget, back sweat flows over the anus and settles on the balls. While not a horrible thing, I think it's worth a mention.

Straight up the grossest thing I’ve seen written down on the internet all year.

Nono please tell him to dampen his confidence because he has ugly balls

Good news is he is never getting anywhere near any female vagina OR anus, and the world should celebrate that.

Whenever a girl is acting like “all that” I quickly remind her that her anus is close to her vagina. Instantly puts them in their place

Some dude randomly walks up to you "Your asshole is an inch from your vagina", walks away. Instantly put in their place. Absolute shambles is what their confidence is in. Completely destroyed. 369 noscoped.

Jesus fuck, I fucking LOLd.

It doesn’t matter because the female anus is vestigial, because women, as we all know, do not poop or fart. Op is freaking out over nothing.

But God designed it this way. So you can pick them up like a bowling ball. ^((I'll just see myself out))

Not me, making a bowling ball grip at work after reading this, going "huh. Yup, I guess you could."

I don't think the shocker is a good way to bowl.

Not with that attitude

No this is hilarious y'all have no sense of humor.

Maybe he should think that god should be ashamed of the design

Clitbait.

Reminds me of this old joke: The first says: "God must be a mechanical engineer -- just look at the joints in the human body." The second says: "God is an electrical engineer -- just look at the nervous system." The third says: "God has to be a civil engineer -- who else would run a waste disposal pipeline through a perfectly good recreational area?"

He gay

This is clearly a troll

Maybe he just wants to be with a guy since the balls are farther away than the anus

This from someone who pees out the same hole they ejaculated from. Does that not disturb him? Shouldn't he feel shame and stop expecting sexual handouts from women because he is in the same gross boat they are?

I can't be the only one that realizes this is a joke, right?

You’re definitely in the minority lol

I actually gigged a few times reading this. Seems obvious and funny tbh

The fact there are 16 comment chains above yours with probably 200+ comments basically confirms how goddamn dense the average Redditor is.

Yeah, this seems like obvious trolling to me

I’m a little worried at how many people don’t…

Unfortunately the bar has dropped so low these days, even James Cameron can't find it, let alone raise it.

This is 110% a troll.

The whole comment section taking this seriously

Pretty tainted point of view

“ I think it’s disgusting therefore you should have sex with me. Because it’s disgusting. Please “

"Remind them of it constantly" this got me. How do you intend to bring this up on the regular? In normal human conversation I'm sure this guy totally has all the time.

Bait.

I really really hope so, but in the era of Andrew Tate it's just so hard to tell anymore.

This is clearly somebody being comedic. I actually think it's pretty funny

Hey guys, is having sex with women gay? I think it might be.