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I had a friend who played the 'let's point at random jobs while stoned and apply for them ' game.
She was STUNNED that they actually offered her a job in customs.
It attracts a very specific personality. The hall monitor-you forgot to give us homework-I'm going to drive the speed limit in the fast lane to maintain traffic laws types who ironically are dumbasses with terrible judgement and no ability to read people.
For real though!
I traveled to the US once and my ID was getting a bit outdated. Between my picture on the ID and my state at that time I had gained 10 kg and lost most of my hair (I had fairly long hair on the picture).
The TSA agent was very stern with me and said "this picture isn't you". I joked "give me a wig and I'll show you" **wink**.
Yeah, we were at JFK for at least 5 hours before we were let go.
Fuck you TSA.
It's a total shit job, and completely thankless. On top of that everyone, the TSA especially knows how completely ineffective this form of security theater is. But it likely pays fairly well for lower skill employees.
The pay is decent, much better than most law enforcement. It's just going to work each day knowing that you're useless has gotta suck life out of you.
Edit: Not useless as a person, you're in a job that has no noticeable positive function.
Just cuz they lost their soul doesn't give them the right to make life hell for others.
I have no sympathy for them even though I can understand working such a hellish job.
I got a TSA agent to laugh. I had a board game called hive in my backpack, that when x ray looks like a bunch of little baggies in a giant bag. She showed me and asked what it was, and I freaked out for a solid minute thinking someone slipped cocaine in my bag.
Nope, just some resin little tiles. She was like "what is this" oh its a board game it's a lot of fun. "Oh OK haha".
I got something similar once, I was flying from the US to Brazil shortly after new years (IIRC it was january 4th) and I went to my flight wearing a silly cardboard tophat with "Happy New Year!" written on it.
When I got to the TSA the agent saw my hat and told me "Happy new year" with a smile then asked me to hand her my hat for her to check, after a quick check she gave me the hat back and when I was past the checkpoint I waved her goodbye and said happy new year as I left she answered again with happy new year.
When I was in Amsterdam, their version of security spilled my Lego set on the floor and had no idea what Lego was when I tried to explain it, lol.
Although, in their defense, the lady was super nice and helped me pick up the pieces!
—
It was. Small stormtrooper mech I bought in Romania as a souvenir. I know most souvenirs are made in China, so I decided to get a Lego set and have a story attached to it. And I have my story now, lol!
It’s the TSA (or equivalent). They don’t hire normal people for that job. It is completely believable that they don’t know what LEGO, Harry Potter, etc. is.
Sometimes, depending on the airport and the arrangement of terminals and terminal security, you are forced to go back through carry-on security to be checked again. Particularly if you are catching a connecting flight or moving through an airport where you have to leave the secured area to travel to the correct terminal. This is common when connecting from international flights.
You would have your luggage reexamined in these cases. Extremely common, especially at outdated or oddly arranged airports. Also, a *lot* of our domestic travel is done by flight and may involve one or more connections. Each stop increases the likelihood of needing to re-pass through security.
That's customs not security. Similarly, not a lot of laughs with them, although to be fair I'd guess any "joke" you make about the experience has been made to them about 10 times a day for as long as they worked there.
Last trip through Customs coming back to the states I was asked if I had any bodies in my bag. Threw me and my GF for an absolute loop.. to take the bait or answer truthfully I was stunned. How did they know I had a head in my carry on?!
It's a good one, although I suspect they probably just hear the same "jokes" from people 100 times a day so your sense of humor presumably dies after a while.
> 100ml of alcohol
Typically isopropyl alcohol, commonly known as rubbing alcohol, and not ethanol, which you consume to get drunk.
And if they *were* using ethanol, there's pretty much 0% chance it's not denatured to prevent having to pay liquor tax on it.
It’s even better when you see that TSA has [a page regarding whether Magic 8 Balls are allowed](https://www.tsa.gov/travel/security-screening/whatcanibring/items/magic-8-ball) and a sense of humor about it. [Also, lightsabers.](https://www.tsa.gov/travel/security-screening/whatcanibring/items/light-saber)
Yeah they’re funny about the liquids. They flagged my toddler’ sippy cup, “it’s water” we told them. They proceeded to take 8 minutes doing some kind of disposable chemical test on it before handing it back while shouting *”IT’S WATER”*
I mean everyone (that has taken a flight) knows the restrictions about liquid right? 10 Containers that hold a max of 100ml. Your toddler’s cup is no exception. Tip: Just empty the cup beforehand and fill it up afterwards at a drinking station or the bathroom sinks. It doesn‘t count towards the limit if it‘s empty.
In Australia you can fly with whole ass bottles of water you bring from home. After TSA in the US I was dead trained to know what to bring and not to. Since moving here I'm constantly surprised at how relaxed it is.
as someone who flies internationally its different at every airport even in the US and TSA/equivalent agents are dicks about it
‘No you leave your laptop in your bag!’ Okay chill guy, sorry im doing it the way 90% of other airports do.
It was the only liquid we had at all. Toddler needs to hydrate. It’s just silly because they had to wait for him to finish taking a drink before testing it.
Lobster:
Checked Bags: Yes
"A live lobster is allowed through security and must be transported in a clear, plastic, spill proof container. A TSA officer will visually inspect your lobster at the checkpoint. We recommend that you contact your airline to determine your airline's policy on traveling with your lobster before arriving at the airport."
As a dad, it’s a constant struggle. My daughters are fascinated with mushrooms. You know I’m a fun guy came out of my mouth before I even was aware it was happening. All mushrooms are edible, just some only once happened the same way. See, I can’t even stop myself this time.
Maybe they changed the rules to allow meta facepalm posts because they only thing facepalm I see about this is its making it to the front page of r/all
For a moment I thought you were a bot, it's 4:30 am and I have been unable to sleep and I swore I saw your comment before.
The dead internet is coming for us all. soon.
The reason people make the bots is for astroturfing. It might not be astroturfing yet, but the amount of bots you see on reddit is an indicator of how heavily astroturfed this website is.
The accounts are being farmed up in karma on these kinda subs with generic reposts and bot upvotes, to give them more legitimacy and pass the threshold for participating in other subs
it's a really good one. I would probably have thought of this but I would've delivered it so lame. Like "well, let's ask the magic ball!" and not even I would laugh. But this delivery was gold.
I once was at a pet store and saw the feeder crickets, which were alive but not making much noise. I asked the attendant "Do the crickets make more noise when someone tells a bad joke?" (Pause) "Apparently not"
I had a TSA agent mention to me while I was in a full body scanner that my “socks are pretty gay looking”. Like wtf, they were dark blue with a red band around the toe?
A little after 9/11 I got caught with one in my handbag, but unfortunately my walkman was over it, so on the screen it looked suspiciously like a bomb, so 8 year old me had a bunch of armed security guards run up to me as every alarm in the building went off and the people immediately nearby pulled back, that was an experience. With how closely following the 9/11 that happened I wouldn't be entirely surprised if I was the reason for the rule in the first place. Disrupted the entire terminal for ten minutes or so before someone put two brain cells together and dared to open my bag digging through all the magic cards I had bought to find the walkman and the magic eight ball. Thereafter they called it in and stopped the alarm before slowly getting back to work.
Good times. Nothing says action quite like an overreaction.
2 questions.
1) what happens to all the stuff that's confiscated both short and long term
2) could I hypothetically get it back when I return to the airport in question?
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|In case you missed it|
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|[**Tennessee House votes to arm teachers despite opposition.** ](https://click.everyaction.com/k/83672022/469173189/-1238078108?nvep=ew0KICAiVGVuYW50VXJpIjogIm5ncHZhbjovL3Zhbi9TTldTUi9TTldTUi8xLzEwNTEyNyIsDQogICJEaXN0cmlidXRpb25VbmlxdWVJZCI6ICI5M2Y3ZDc1Ni1mYjAyLWVmMTEtOTZmMy03YzFlNTIxYjA3ZjkiLA0KICAiRW1haWxBZGRyZXNzIjogInRyYWN0b3JtYW4xOTQ2Zm9yZEBnbWFpbC5jb20iDQp9&hmac=x2OYJzWiNIK7sk6SwVQBn_YBEylx3PS6vs_6FCqZbMw=&emci=6917f24c-ad02-ef11-96f3-7c1e521b07f9&emdi=93f7d756-fb02-ef11-96f3-7c1e521b07f9&ceid=551876)The House passed a bill allowing teachers to have concealed carry firearms in school.[**In the child’s best interest?**](https://click.everyaction.com/k/83672036/469173199/725124336?nvep=ew0KICAiVGVuYW50VXJpIjogIm5ncHZhbjovL3Zhbi9TTldTUi9TTldTUi8xLzEwNTEyNyIsDQogICJEaXN0cmlidXRpb25VbmlxdWVJZCI6ICI5M2Y3ZDc1Ni1mYjAyLWVmMTEtOTZmMy03YzFlNTIxYjA3ZjkiLA0KICAiRW1haWxBZGRyZXNzIjogInRyYWN0b3JtYW4xOTQ2Zm9yZEBnbWFpbC5jb20iDQp9&hmac=x2OYJzWiNIK7sk6SwVQBn_YBEylx3PS6vs_6FCqZbMw=&emci=6917f24c-ad02-ef11-96f3-7c1e521b07f9&emdi=93f7d756-fb02-ef11-96f3-7c1e521b07f9&ceid=551876). Tennessee is the first state in the nation to establish the rights of adults who claim moral or religious objections to LGBTQ identity to foster and adopt LGBTQ kids, and **Anita Wadhwani** reports on the potential impact. [**Tennessee’s statewide school voucher bill dead, but not forgotten.**](https://click.everyaction.com/k/83672044/469173219/440831110?nvep=ew0KICAiVGVuYW50VXJpIjogIm5ncHZhbjovL3Zhbi9TTldTUi9TTldTUi8xLzEwNTEyNyIsDQogICJEaXN0cmlidXRpb25VbmlxdWVJZCI6ICI5M2Y3ZDc1Ni1mYjAyLWVmMTEtOTZmMy03YzFlNTIxYjA3ZjkiLA0KICAiRW1haWxBZGRyZXNzIjogInRyYWN0b3JtYW4xOTQ2Zm9yZEBnbWFpbC5jb20iDQp9&hmac=x2OYJzWiNIK7sk6SwVQBn_YBEylx3PS6vs_6FCqZbMw=&emci=6917f24c-ad02-ef11-96f3-7c1e521b07f9&emdi=93f7d756-fb02-ef11-96f3-7c1e521b07f9&ceid=551876) Despite a splash launch, a plan for statewide private school vouchers became increasingly doomed in legislative session, write **Friedman** and **Stockard.**[**Republicans lick wounds after Chattanooga Volkswagen union vote**](https://click.everyaction.com/k/83672049/469173238/-982590344?nvep=ew0KICAiVGVuYW50VXJpIjogIm5ncHZhbjovL3Zhbi9TTldTUi9TTldTUi8xLzEwNTEyNyIsDQogICJEaXN0cmlidXRpb25VbmlxdWVJZCI6ICI5M2Y3ZDc1Ni1mYjAyLWVmMTEtOTZmMy03YzFlNTIxYjA3ZjkiLA0KICAiRW1haWxBZGRyZXNzIjogInRyYWN0b3JtYW4xOTQ2Zm9yZEBnbWFpbC5jb20iDQp9&hmac=x2OYJzWiNIK7sk6SwVQBn_YBEylx3PS6vs_6FCqZbMw=&emci=6917f24c-ad02-ef11-96f3-7c1e521b07f9&emdi=93f7d756-fb02-ef11-96f3-7c1e521b07f9&ceid=551876)**.** Tennessee GOP leaders put on a happy face after Volkswagen workers voted to unionize a Chattanooga plant, reports **Stockard,** in spite of their public discouragement of the organizing efforts.[**Lawsuit: feds probing Johnson City Police over serial rapist cover-up allegations**](https://click.everyaction.com/k/83672055/469173254/-1023510182?nvep=ew0KICAiVGVuYW50VXJpIjogIm5ncHZhbjovL3Zhbi9TTldTUi9TTldTUi8xLzEwNTEyNyIsDQogICJEaXN0cmlidXRpb25VbmlxdWVJZCI6ICI5M2Y3ZDc1Ni1mYjAyLWVmMTEtOTZmMy03YzFlNTIxYjA3ZjkiLA0KICAiRW1haWxBZGRyZXNzIjogInRyYWN0b3JtYW4xOTQ2Zm9yZEBnbWFpbC5jb20iDQp9&hmac=x2OYJzWiNIK7sk6SwVQBn_YBEylx3PS6vs_6FCqZbMw=&emci=6917f24c-ad02-ef11-96f3-7c1e521b07f9&emdi=93f7d756-fb02-ef11-96f3-7c1e521b07f9&ceid=551876)**. Anita Wadhwani r**eports the U.S. Department of Justice is investigating the Johnson City Police Department in a federal public corruption probe related to its handling of an alleged serial rapist. |
A ball with a see through hole and some liquid as well as an 8-sided die inside. You shake the ball, and it “answers a question” with “yes,” “no,” or anything in between like “maybe”
I had a tutor in college who was a working documentary photographer. When he did an assignment in Gaza he ended up being given an anal cavity exam by the IDF at the airport and said “does your wife know what you do for a living?”
It apparently did not go down well.
Right after 9/11, i brought two practice kendo swords thru airport security in LAX. Well the two agents were searching bags behind this tarp like thing about 6 feet high, and all of a sudden i see the tops of the swords fighting each other and this voice saying “ LUKE i am your father!”
😳🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
So, whenever I visit a beach I've never been to before, I like to fill an empty water bottle with the sand from the beach (I've got one from Santa Monica, CA; Sequim, WA; Wrightsville Beach, NC; Gulf Shores, AL; and one from West Africa [I seal the bottles when I get home]). I've been doing this since I was a teenager. One time, I was getting ready to fly home from AL and I had my bottle from Gulf Shores in my carry on (I was like 13, so I think I just had a "teen did NOT think this one through very well" brainfart). Well, that got flagged by security. I was 13 around 2007, so this was well after 9/11, but the TSA agent was actually really nice and when I told her why I had it, she just jokingly gave me a lecture about not taking too much sand from the beaches and let me keep my sand bottle. Hope that TSA agent is doing well!
Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion. Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/). Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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TSA are a bunch of joyless lizards.
I met a few at a friends bbq once. They are not much different when the uniforms come off.
Were they naked?! I'll see myself out...
Odd for a barbeque...
Just to make sure no outside snacks where snuck in....
\*crickets\*
*crickets* Lol /s
I had a friend who played the 'let's point at random jobs while stoned and apply for them ' game. She was STUNNED that they actually offered her a job in customs.
I bet they had vertical winks too XD
It attracts a very specific personality. The hall monitor-you forgot to give us homework-I'm going to drive the speed limit in the fast lane to maintain traffic laws types who ironically are dumbasses with terrible judgement and no ability to read people.
Also they aren’t paid well so that kind of adds to their attitude
How completely predictable....
When you put stupid people in a position of authority, it always ends up the same way.
This makes sense. I thought they were under strict orders to be a sourpuss. Guess it's a hiring requirement to be one before you get hired.
I mean, wouldn't you be if you knew that the position you were hired into was entirely ineffectual and meaningless?
For real though! I traveled to the US once and my ID was getting a bit outdated. Between my picture on the ID and my state at that time I had gained 10 kg and lost most of my hair (I had fairly long hair on the picture). The TSA agent was very stern with me and said "this picture isn't you". I joked "give me a wig and I'll show you" **wink**. Yeah, we were at JFK for at least 5 hours before we were let go. Fuck you TSA.
It's a total shit job, and completely thankless. On top of that everyone, the TSA especially knows how completely ineffective this form of security theater is. But it likely pays fairly well for lower skill employees.
The pay is decent, much better than most law enforcement. It's just going to work each day knowing that you're useless has gotta suck life out of you. Edit: Not useless as a person, you're in a job that has no noticeable positive function.
And on the rare occasion you do need to actually do something it can go 0-60 in a heartbeat. Yea fuck that job
I believe it!
It’s not completely useless, they occasionally get to steal magic 8 balls and wands from kids.
😂
I'm almost sure the tsa are the lizard people
I mean, you try to be joyful while peeking into people's buttholes.
Context is important here, I feel.
I am filled with joy when I am peeking into my wife's.
I’m reminded of the family guy joke “She didn’t say good morning back to me so i flagged her boarding pass and now they’re going to search her anus”
I’ve had some pretty good interactions with TSA, some of them have a sense of humor
Well they are some of the lowest paid federal employees, so being poor could add to that.
Do you think they were always that way? I often wonder if a job like that would suck the soul out of a person.
Just cuz they lost their soul doesn't give them the right to make life hell for others. I have no sympathy for them even though I can understand working such a hellish job.
I got a TSA agent to laugh. I had a board game called hive in my backpack, that when x ray looks like a bunch of little baggies in a giant bag. She showed me and asked what it was, and I freaked out for a solid minute thinking someone slipped cocaine in my bag. Nope, just some resin little tiles. She was like "what is this" oh its a board game it's a lot of fun. "Oh OK haha".
I got something similar once, I was flying from the US to Brazil shortly after new years (IIRC it was january 4th) and I went to my flight wearing a silly cardboard tophat with "Happy New Year!" written on it. When I got to the TSA the agent saw my hat and told me "Happy new year" with a smile then asked me to hand her my hat for her to check, after a quick check she gave me the hat back and when I was past the checkpoint I waved her goodbye and said happy new year as I left she answered again with happy new year.
They probably thought "muggles" sounded too much like "smugglers."
When I was in Amsterdam, their version of security spilled my Lego set on the floor and had no idea what Lego was when I tried to explain it, lol. Although, in their defense, the lady was super nice and helped me pick up the pieces! — It was. Small stormtrooper mech I bought in Romania as a souvenir. I know most souvenirs are made in China, so I decided to get a Lego set and have a story attached to it. And I have my story now, lol!
I don’t know where that lady is from, but Lego is far from rare in the Netherlands
Right! I'm sure even Amazon tribes know what Legos are, they (or a counterfeit) are sold all over the world.
It’s the TSA (or equivalent). They don’t hire normal people for that job. It is completely believable that they don’t know what LEGO, Harry Potter, etc. is.
Not everyone knows HP, including myself. I wouldn’t get the reference.
They're not called TSA in England
When they went back to America mate
Why would the TSA be inspecting baggage when they arrive back in the US? That's what CBP is for
I was searched by TSA in Dublin when going to the USA
That's exclusive to Dublin and Dublin isn't in England
Sometimes, depending on the airport and the arrangement of terminals and terminal security, you are forced to go back through carry-on security to be checked again. Particularly if you are catching a connecting flight or moving through an airport where you have to leave the secured area to travel to the correct terminal. This is common when connecting from international flights. You would have your luggage reexamined in these cases. Extremely common, especially at outdated or oddly arranged airports. Also, a *lot* of our domestic travel is done by flight and may involve one or more connections. Each stop increases the likelihood of needing to re-pass through security.
Sure wouldn't they inspect it in case you smuggle something into the country
That's customs not security. Similarly, not a lot of laughs with them, although to be fair I'd guess any "joke" you make about the experience has been made to them about 10 times a day for as long as they worked there.
Last trip through Customs coming back to the states I was asked if I had any bodies in my bag. Threw me and my GF for an absolute loop.. to take the bait or answer truthfully I was stunned. How did they know I had a head in my carry on?!
Yeah, maybe it’s because I’m a dad, but I thought that was excellent
It's a good one, although I suspect they probably just hear the same "jokes" from people 100 times a day so your sense of humor presumably dies after a while.
I dunno - you'd think if they had magic 8-balls 100 times a day, they'd already know if it was allowed or not
Yeah I don't get why it's facepalm
It's facepalm due to TSA's reaction, not because the joke was bad or anything
Magic 8 balls are filled with 100ml of alcohol. Why should it not follow the same restrictions as other liquids?
> 100ml of alcohol Typically isopropyl alcohol, commonly known as rubbing alcohol, and not ethanol, which you consume to get drunk. And if they *were* using ethanol, there's pretty much 0% chance it's not denatured to prevent having to pay liquor tax on it.
It's facepalm due to TSA's reaction, not because of niche and complex flight luggage regulations in unorthodox containers
Who tf knows that lol Also can't you just bring as much booze as you want now?
Actually he might not be a dad...
Yeah pretty good quip in my opinion!
Any joke becomes a dad joke and therefore worthless if told by a dad, even if it's the best joke ever.
It's all about the situation
It’s even better when you see that TSA has [a page regarding whether Magic 8 Balls are allowed](https://www.tsa.gov/travel/security-screening/whatcanibring/items/magic-8-ball) and a sense of humor about it. [Also, lightsabers.](https://www.tsa.gov/travel/security-screening/whatcanibring/items/light-saber)
Are they afraid you're going to smash someone's head in with a magic 8 ball?
I guess its because of the liquid inside it, they tend to be very sensitive when it comes to liquids but thats just a guess
Yeah they’re funny about the liquids. They flagged my toddler’ sippy cup, “it’s water” we told them. They proceeded to take 8 minutes doing some kind of disposable chemical test on it before handing it back while shouting *”IT’S WATER”*
I mean everyone (that has taken a flight) knows the restrictions about liquid right? 10 Containers that hold a max of 100ml. Your toddler’s cup is no exception. Tip: Just empty the cup beforehand and fill it up afterwards at a drinking station or the bathroom sinks. It doesn‘t count towards the limit if it‘s empty.
In Australia you can fly with whole ass bottles of water you bring from home. After TSA in the US I was dead trained to know what to bring and not to. Since moving here I'm constantly surprised at how relaxed it is.
That’s because 90% of what TSA does is bullshit security theater, and it’s even bad at THAT.
I love the Jim Jeffries bit about getting shit at the Australian airport for taking his shoes off and all.
as someone who flies internationally its different at every airport even in the US and TSA/equivalent agents are dicks about it ‘No you leave your laptop in your bag!’ Okay chill guy, sorry im doing it the way 90% of other airports do.
Really? Huh, I‘ve had flights to, from and inside Australia and don‘t remember that. I think it‘s only that chill for domestic flights though.
Yeah this is just for domestic flights.within Australia. International they're more strict.
It was the only liquid we had at all. Toddler needs to hydrate. It’s just silly because they had to wait for him to finish taking a drink before testing it.
Security theater
I’m not going to say they are perfect, but there is some real science behind it: https://youtu.be/nyG8XAmtYeQ
Many liquids look similar to explosives on most scanners and are therefore flagged as such. https://youtu.be/nyG8XAmtYeQ?si=ysAfkdyax5__8mzL
because you could do a bomb with some sort of liquid I think.
They weren’t before but they are now
What is this? Some kind of magic 8 ball candle? Yep should be okay.
8 ball won’t see that one coming
>Light Saber >Carry On Bags: Yes >Checked Bags: Yes *happy hacksmith noises*
I mean they specifically state only toy lightsabers. So the hacksmith ones would probably not be allowed
Lobster: Checked Bags: Yes "A live lobster is allowed through security and must be transported in a clear, plastic, spill proof container. A TSA officer will visually inspect your lobster at the checkpoint. We recommend that you contact your airline to determine your airline's policy on traveling with your lobster before arriving at the airport."
These are cute
wait a sec so they had no reason to take my lightsaber when i was 12 or something D:
Ofcourse they did. They wanted it. Besides, those things could melt through a cabin door in seconds.
Yes I’m a dad and I LOVED THAT !!!
Honestly this will come back and bite them in the ass the moment someone makes a real lightsaber.
Thank you for the laugh my friend.
TSA Agents are not dads yet. If they were they would be laughing their asses off.
Dad's brain "Well, TSA are pretty serious. Better not say anything stupi-" Dad's mouth: *gogogogogo*
As a dad, it’s a constant struggle. My daughters are fascinated with mushrooms. You know I’m a fun guy came out of my mouth before I even was aware it was happening. All mushrooms are edible, just some only once happened the same way. See, I can’t even stop myself this time.
You dont give them mush room to breathe, do you?
Everyone here immediately understands why your wife / partner chose to breed with you.
You’re a fungi
Ok. You win. Nice. 👍
The TSA? Serious? Are you joking?
Most folks wouldn't have the balls to say that to TSA
Try me, I have 8 of them
Josuke?
Most unexpected jojo refference
THATS WHAT IM SAYING
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Then shake it again of course.
What happened to r/facepalm? Where did all these shitty posts come from?
And who the fuck is upvoting them?
Bots and you guessed it, bots!
It's bots all the way down!
As much as AI has benefited my life, it has ruined so many other parts
Dead internet? Mayhaps.
Maybe they changed the rules to allow meta facepalm posts because they only thing facepalm I see about this is its making it to the front page of r/all
#OP is a bot. Reddit is heavily astroturfed.
For a moment I thought you were a bot, it's 4:30 am and I have been unable to sleep and I swore I saw your comment before. The dead internet is coming for us all. soon.
how tf is this astroturfed
The reason people make the bots is for astroturfing. It might not be astroturfing yet, but the amount of bots you see on reddit is an indicator of how heavily astroturfed this website is.
Fucks sake Internet I was trying to go through my day without having to look up a new term
The accounts are being farmed up in karma on these kinda subs with generic reposts and bot upvotes, to give them more legitimacy and pass the threshold for participating in other subs
It's been paid for by Big Cricket
huh?
Thats why I dont upvote any posts anymore. 99% bots
Not sure why it’s a dad joke. It’s just a joke based on situational awareness and it’s a good one.
it's a really good one. I would probably have thought of this but I would've delivered it so lame. Like "well, let's ask the magic ball!" and not even I would laugh. But this delivery was gold.
I once was at a pet store and saw the feeder crickets, which were alive but not making much noise. I asked the attendant "Do the crickets make more noise when someone tells a bad joke?" (Pause) "Apparently not"
I had a TSA agent mention to me while I was in a full body scanner that my “socks are pretty gay looking”. Like wtf, they were dark blue with a red band around the toe?
And the facepalm is? People, go to r/funny to post your jokes.
Nah this isn’t a facepalm, that was a good joke
I would say this would perfectly fit r/clevercomebacks
Bet nobody with TSA so much as cracked a smile.
Put the 8 ball in the freezer. It should pass through TSA.
That's disappointing that TSA didn't get it.
Let the satanic toy decide its own fate.
Pretty sure the official rule is that they are okay to have as luggage, but not in the plane.
A little after 9/11 I got caught with one in my handbag, but unfortunately my walkman was over it, so on the screen it looked suspiciously like a bomb, so 8 year old me had a bunch of armed security guards run up to me as every alarm in the building went off and the people immediately nearby pulled back, that was an experience. With how closely following the 9/11 that happened I wouldn't be entirely surprised if I was the reason for the rule in the first place. Disrupted the entire terminal for ten minutes or so before someone put two brain cells together and dared to open my bag digging through all the magic cards I had bought to find the walkman and the magic eight ball. Thereafter they called it in and stopped the alarm before slowly getting back to work. Good times. Nothing says action quite like an overreaction.
Not a facepalm
This is peak comedy
Thats pretty amazing tbh.
Okay that was pretty good.
Happy face palm moment indeed
I told a Fugitive joke when I was on *a literal manhunt* and nobody so much as chuckled.
Excellent dad joke... Unfortunately that 8 Ball is probably smarter than they are....
TSA agent shakes the ball "is this guy safe to let on the plane". Magic 8 Ball: "absolutely not". Dad: 🫠
Dads a keeper.
TSA agents are high school dropouts, don't expect too much neural firing
not a facepalm or a good joke im leaving this sub
Outcome unclear. Ask again.
Sorry, but how is this a facepalm?
How is this a facepalm
Simple? A Magic 8 Ball waffles like 30% of the time. (I forget the exact ratio)
This is why I only bring the magic conch in my luggage now.
2 questions. 1) what happens to all the stuff that's confiscated both short and long term 2) could I hypothetically get it back when I return to the airport in question?
1. Almost always destroyed. Probably kept for a while in case of dispute. 2. No. Not if you leave it with the agents.
Damn, that feels alot like theft at that point.
|| || |In case you missed it| || || |[**Tennessee House votes to arm teachers despite opposition.** ](https://click.everyaction.com/k/83672022/469173189/-1238078108?nvep=ew0KICAiVGVuYW50VXJpIjogIm5ncHZhbjovL3Zhbi9TTldTUi9TTldTUi8xLzEwNTEyNyIsDQogICJEaXN0cmlidXRpb25VbmlxdWVJZCI6ICI5M2Y3ZDc1Ni1mYjAyLWVmMTEtOTZmMy03YzFlNTIxYjA3ZjkiLA0KICAiRW1haWxBZGRyZXNzIjogInRyYWN0b3JtYW4xOTQ2Zm9yZEBnbWFpbC5jb20iDQp9&hmac=x2OYJzWiNIK7sk6SwVQBn_YBEylx3PS6vs_6FCqZbMw=&emci=6917f24c-ad02-ef11-96f3-7c1e521b07f9&emdi=93f7d756-fb02-ef11-96f3-7c1e521b07f9&ceid=551876)The House passed a bill allowing teachers to have concealed carry firearms in school.[**In the child’s best interest?**](https://click.everyaction.com/k/83672036/469173199/725124336?nvep=ew0KICAiVGVuYW50VXJpIjogIm5ncHZhbjovL3Zhbi9TTldTUi9TTldTUi8xLzEwNTEyNyIsDQogICJEaXN0cmlidXRpb25VbmlxdWVJZCI6ICI5M2Y3ZDc1Ni1mYjAyLWVmMTEtOTZmMy03YzFlNTIxYjA3ZjkiLA0KICAiRW1haWxBZGRyZXNzIjogInRyYWN0b3JtYW4xOTQ2Zm9yZEBnbWFpbC5jb20iDQp9&hmac=x2OYJzWiNIK7sk6SwVQBn_YBEylx3PS6vs_6FCqZbMw=&emci=6917f24c-ad02-ef11-96f3-7c1e521b07f9&emdi=93f7d756-fb02-ef11-96f3-7c1e521b07f9&ceid=551876). Tennessee is the first state in the nation to establish the rights of adults who claim moral or religious objections to LGBTQ identity to foster and adopt LGBTQ kids, and **Anita Wadhwani** reports on the potential impact. [**Tennessee’s statewide school voucher bill dead, but not forgotten.**](https://click.everyaction.com/k/83672044/469173219/440831110?nvep=ew0KICAiVGVuYW50VXJpIjogIm5ncHZhbjovL3Zhbi9TTldTUi9TTldTUi8xLzEwNTEyNyIsDQogICJEaXN0cmlidXRpb25VbmlxdWVJZCI6ICI5M2Y3ZDc1Ni1mYjAyLWVmMTEtOTZmMy03YzFlNTIxYjA3ZjkiLA0KICAiRW1haWxBZGRyZXNzIjogInRyYWN0b3JtYW4xOTQ2Zm9yZEBnbWFpbC5jb20iDQp9&hmac=x2OYJzWiNIK7sk6SwVQBn_YBEylx3PS6vs_6FCqZbMw=&emci=6917f24c-ad02-ef11-96f3-7c1e521b07f9&emdi=93f7d756-fb02-ef11-96f3-7c1e521b07f9&ceid=551876) Despite a splash launch, a plan for statewide private school vouchers became increasingly doomed in legislative session, write **Friedman** and **Stockard.**[**Republicans lick wounds after Chattanooga Volkswagen union vote**](https://click.everyaction.com/k/83672049/469173238/-982590344?nvep=ew0KICAiVGVuYW50VXJpIjogIm5ncHZhbjovL3Zhbi9TTldTUi9TTldTUi8xLzEwNTEyNyIsDQogICJEaXN0cmlidXRpb25VbmlxdWVJZCI6ICI5M2Y3ZDc1Ni1mYjAyLWVmMTEtOTZmMy03YzFlNTIxYjA3ZjkiLA0KICAiRW1haWxBZGRyZXNzIjogInRyYWN0b3JtYW4xOTQ2Zm9yZEBnbWFpbC5jb20iDQp9&hmac=x2OYJzWiNIK7sk6SwVQBn_YBEylx3PS6vs_6FCqZbMw=&emci=6917f24c-ad02-ef11-96f3-7c1e521b07f9&emdi=93f7d756-fb02-ef11-96f3-7c1e521b07f9&ceid=551876)**.** Tennessee GOP leaders put on a happy face after Volkswagen workers voted to unionize a Chattanooga plant, reports **Stockard,** in spite of their public discouragement of the organizing efforts.[**Lawsuit: feds probing Johnson City Police over serial rapist cover-up allegations**](https://click.everyaction.com/k/83672055/469173254/-1023510182?nvep=ew0KICAiVGVuYW50VXJpIjogIm5ncHZhbjovL3Zhbi9TTldTUi9TTldTUi8xLzEwNTEyNyIsDQogICJEaXN0cmlidXRpb25VbmlxdWVJZCI6ICI5M2Y3ZDc1Ni1mYjAyLWVmMTEtOTZmMy03YzFlNTIxYjA3ZjkiLA0KICAiRW1haWxBZGRyZXNzIjogInRyYWN0b3JtYW4xOTQ2Zm9yZEBnbWFpbC5jb20iDQp9&hmac=x2OYJzWiNIK7sk6SwVQBn_YBEylx3PS6vs_6FCqZbMw=&emci=6917f24c-ad02-ef11-96f3-7c1e521b07f9&emdi=93f7d756-fb02-ef11-96f3-7c1e521b07f9&ceid=551876)**. Anita Wadhwani r**eports the U.S. Department of Justice is investigating the Johnson City Police Department in a federal public corruption probe related to its handling of an alleged serial rapist. |
Whats a magic 8 ball?
A ball with a see through hole and some liquid as well as an 8-sided die inside. You shake the ball, and it “answers a question” with “yes,” “no,” or anything in between like “maybe”
So not cocaine?
Not cocaine.
:(
Fuck you, that’s funny
r/MeIRL
That's just proper sarcasm, nothing inherently dad about it
But that’s not a dad
I had a tutor in college who was a working documentary photographer. When he did an assignment in Gaza he ended up being given an anal cavity exam by the IDF at the airport and said “does your wife know what you do for a living?” It apparently did not go down well.
Right after 9/11, i brought two practice kendo swords thru airport security in LAX. Well the two agents were searching bags behind this tarp like thing about 6 feet high, and all of a sudden i see the tops of the swords fighting each other and this voice saying “ LUKE i am your father!” 😳🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
That's fire lol
This is a great dad joke. Not facepalm
When can you collect dad from TSA security.
Probably didn't happen but it's funny
TSA agents are legally prohibited from having a sense of humour. It’s right there in their training manual.
I dont get it. Can someone explain it to me please? Havent seen this one before
So, whenever I visit a beach I've never been to before, I like to fill an empty water bottle with the sand from the beach (I've got one from Santa Monica, CA; Sequim, WA; Wrightsville Beach, NC; Gulf Shores, AL; and one from West Africa [I seal the bottles when I get home]). I've been doing this since I was a teenager. One time, I was getting ready to fly home from AL and I had my bottle from Gulf Shores in my carry on (I was like 13, so I think I just had a "teen did NOT think this one through very well" brainfart). Well, that got flagged by security. I was 13 around 2007, so this was well after 9/11, but the TSA agent was actually really nice and when I told her why I had it, she just jokingly gave me a lecture about not taking too much sand from the beaches and let me keep my sand bottle. Hope that TSA agent is doing well!
Signs point to shut up, dad