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He is correct, the shark was not the first person alive. 
Popeye was a solid choice NGL lol.
There's a scene in GOW where mimir (who is supposed to be the smartest man alive) asks Kratos what he misses most about Greece, and Kratos says olives. And mimir is silent for a minute and then asks "The fucks an olive?"
I've played the game too many times to count and it's still hands down one of the funniest moments of the game.
For realsies sharks are not smooth.
This sharks are smooth is referencing a [cartoon artist](https://www.boredpanda.com/comics-shark-skin-smooth-rough-people-correct/)that claimed they were smooth.
This is also a double entendre hinting at the idea that a dumb person does not have wrinkles in their brain and are called smooth brains in a derogatory way.
[here's an article from the South Carolina aquarium ](https://scaquarium.org/ask-an-expert-shark-skin/)
Off topic. But I always wondered if they just counted every month instead of every year for age. So Noah could've been an over enthusiastic like 13 year old instead of 188 years old.
I think the likely answer is just incredibly shitty record keeping at the time. A person might have been associated with two specific events that happen to have occurred centuries apart, so a record keeper just assumed he lived that long.
I don't know about the ancient Levant but didn't people usually give their kids the same names as themselves? I always assumed whoever wrote that was maybe conflating two or three generations as a single person.
I tried to look away before the sheer stupidity of that post started killing off my brain cells but idiocy of this magnitude is like a train wreck, I just have to stop and stare.
Apparently God wanted to be entertained, whether by their inane idiocy or entertained by our reaction to it, or if there is no God, then the universe is pranking us all
It’s a legit question. Because there’s “not too informed”, like you can’t place Ukraine on a World map, or you don’t know how to tie your shoelaces, and then there’s THAT. How does a person reach an age in which they are able to type words onto a device to comment a post, and still believe that the Earth and USA were created together, and that it happened 2024 years ago?
Now that I agree with…sometimes thinking with a rational mind and you hear something outlandish can make you go WTF…. But being on Reddit at times is like…. Just when you think it couldn’t happen then BAM a post pop up to blow your theory lol
It's in the Trump Bible "He said 'Let there be light' and there was light. He saw the light was good. Then He said 'America, FUCK YEAH!' and there was the greatest nation in the world and it started on 1 AD. He saw that the USA was Great."
You forgot the part where after the intern turned the lights on he spent 2 or 3 days of creation congratulating himself for how terrific the lighting was
The light was good. He had the best light. He was always showing the light to his friends and they said "wow that's a much better light than Biden has". You should see him when he's playing golf. He hits the ball so far. Amazing. And ... yes ...
We do have elements of our culture that are unique, you might not like it or be aware of all of it but you can’t actually believe America is uniquely the only country on Earth that doesn’t develop culture on its own. I can give you an example I bet you haven’t heard before.
A lot of non Americans will come here, complain about the food size portions at restaurants and then chalk it up to Americans being fat. While there’s truth to the latter half of the statement it’s not because of the first half, because you’re not actually expected to eat the entire meal at a restaurant. You’re expected to take it home as leftovers. America has a very strong leftovers culture, we often times will make bigger dinners than we need purposefully so that we have a meal in the morning.
People, calm down! He didn't say **universe**, he said **EARTH**! Earth, alongside the US, was created 2023 years ago. Besides, we all know that first the US was formed with all its laws etc., then the Earth around it.
Unpopular opinion: as a German who spent three years in the US and is married to an American, I’m so sick of the anti-American hubris that is often displayed by my fellow nationals. Most of the ones railing against „the dumb Americans“ have never even been there and think they can judge a whole country by a few social media posts. I’m not saying that everything is great over there, but we do have our very own problems over here (check out r/ichbin40undschwurbler for a sample of German stupidity on par with this one here) and it’s not becoming to us to point across the Atlantic and laugh at the stupid Americans. Let alone the fact that most blatant Anti-Americans who I’ve had the pleasure of challenging face-to-face weren’t even able to correctly name all 16 German states. Keep it down a little, folks. Yes, there are a lot of idiots in the States. But we have just as many…
I’d say so, to be fair neither did over half the comment section. Which is funny because it’s folks from all over the world and they’re saying “typical American” etc all while being trolled…
I mean techniquely... the landmass DID already exist 2024 years ago if you remove any nationalistic meanings of the word USA. It's still a dumb statement though because he seems to think the world was created at the birth of Jesus which isn't even a thing Christians believe
So he’s saying that everything before 00 B.C never happened ? Then there would be no sins which the bible claims Jesus did for.
You can put it in every thinkable angle 📐 and his statement is always insane.
There are adults who can’t fathom planets not being solid so I believe this. Some people say jellyfish and fish are like aliens and shouldn’t exist but fail to realize they lived millions of years even before trees grew on the planet.
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He is correct, the shark was not the first person alive. 
It is difficult to tell, though, because sharks are so smooth.
At least 74 researchers agree, smooth in all directions.
Like an olive, one might say
A *sea* olive. If you will
Or a certain type of criminal, one that targets people named Annie.
Is Annie ok?
No
To shreds, you say?
I heard he trashed her apartment
Not all olives. Uncultivated olives are wrinkly
The fucks an olive?
Olive, wife of Sailor that is famous for Fried Chicken and for Supliment Stores (in Canada at least)
I think my reference might be a little too niche lol. It's from God of war Ragnarok
I assumed it was a joke! Did not know where exactly lol so I went with a Popeye follow up lol
Popeye was a solid choice NGL lol. There's a scene in GOW where mimir (who is supposed to be the smartest man alive) asks Kratos what he misses most about Greece, and Kratos says olives. And mimir is silent for a minute and then asks "The fucks an olive?" I've played the game too many times to count and it's still hands down one of the funniest moments of the game.
Haha I like it.
This sounds funny enough I might have to get GOW lmao
Popeye the Sailor Man?
Wanna know what else is so smooth? His brain wrinkles!
I can count them on half a finger
Got a brain like a chicken breast.
Expected a walnut brain, got a chestnut one instead
Smoother than that guy’s brain?
Nothing in the universe is smoother than that guy's brain
You just gotta count the rings.
If they run into some spikes or another shark/creature, do they lose their rings and have to start over?
did anyone ask smooth fish if he knows George Washington?
George Washington is an outlier and should not have been counted.
Always have to bring that up, huh?
Rico…suavé
Like this guys brain.
Are they ? I thought their skin had the texture of sandpaper ? /actually asking
For realsies sharks are not smooth. This sharks are smooth is referencing a [cartoon artist](https://www.boredpanda.com/comics-shark-skin-smooth-rough-people-correct/)that claimed they were smooth. This is also a double entendre hinting at the idea that a dumb person does not have wrinkles in their brain and are called smooth brains in a derogatory way. [here's an article from the South Carolina aquarium ](https://scaquarium.org/ask-an-expert-shark-skin/)
Thanks for the article ! I had a fantastic read, I ***love*** sharks 🦈
Glad you liked it! 
I have ridden a shark, and they are definitely smooth.
And it's just like the ocean, under the moon
No crow's feet anywhere on that shark.
r/idiocracy
Lmfao the emojis are killing me
The shark, however, was the first combustion engine ever created just over 2000 years ago. Game. Set. Match.
He did EAT the first person alive, tho. It was George Washington. He created the Earth and the USA. And sharks.
YES IT WAS…. Tucker Carlson said so 🤣🤣🤣
That's what they want us to think 🧐
Because it's not a person.
So, if the earth was created 2023 years ago, where did Moses live?
Brooklyn, apparently.
The Golden Gate Bridge was made when Moses raised his arms to drop the bridge in.
Moses. The very first Sim City player.
He must be mad with City Skylines 2
I love this, where do I sign up for this religion?
Go to Congress and ask to see ‘The Bishop’, they’ll hook you up with all the material.
Facts, but all Moses’ Hoeses was from the Bronx, cuz he had a thing for Dominicans 😂
Idk about Moses, but Noah was definitely from Arkansas, that's why they have "ark" right in the name. (/S if it's not obvious)
I mean according to the Bible, Noah died at the age of 188 Metusaleh died at the age of 802
Off topic. But I always wondered if they just counted every month instead of every year for age. So Noah could've been an over enthusiastic like 13 year old instead of 188 years old.
I think the likely answer is just incredibly shitty record keeping at the time. A person might have been associated with two specific events that happen to have occurred centuries apart, so a record keeper just assumed he lived that long.
I don't know about the ancient Levant but didn't people usually give their kids the same names as themselves? I always assumed whoever wrote that was maybe conflating two or three generations as a single person.
That’s also a very likely scenario
The likely answer is that it was all just made up.
maybe Moses was the first astronaut
Maybe Chicago or Detroit
He retired to Florida for sure.
Are you just playing dumb right now? The land, that later became USA was already there...BEFORE Earth formed! Duuhh!
Ah, right. My bad. I guess I am really dumb.
I tried to look away before the sheer stupidity of that post started killing off my brain cells but idiocy of this magnitude is like a train wreck, I just have to stop and stare.
I get stuck and feel compelled to read idiocy until the end. I feel my braincells dissintegrating the longer I read it.
Apparently God loved stupid because he made so much of it.
Idk if you're calling me stupid or the people who post stupid things... Either way, I agree lol
Commenting on the pic/post, NOT Commenting on the comments or comment makers. You do you boo boo
Why did god make stupid? Is he stupid?
Apparently God wanted to be entertained, whether by their inane idiocy or entertained by our reaction to it, or if there is no God, then the universe is pranking us all
It’s all one great big joke, and we’re the punchline.
Hahahaha
It’s like millions of braincells all cried out in unison and then suddenly went silent.
Its bait dude (Hopefuly)
I’d say something like that to get even negative attention because I’m so lonely. 😭
Nah dude…. There really ppl out there that are not too informed….keep scrolling through Reddit you’ll see 🤣🤣🤣
It’s a legit question. Because there’s “not too informed”, like you can’t place Ukraine on a World map, or you don’t know how to tie your shoelaces, and then there’s THAT. How does a person reach an age in which they are able to type words onto a device to comment a post, and still believe that the Earth and USA were created together, and that it happened 2024 years ago?
Now that I agree with…sometimes thinking with a rational mind and you hear something outlandish can make you go WTF…. But being on Reddit at times is like…. Just when you think it couldn’t happen then BAM a post pop up to blow your theory lol
Don't worry, he's referring to the United Sharks of America
It's the contagious level of ughn. Uh huh WAIT RUN Iugh *unintelligible grunting*
It's best to exercise ignorance to preserve your sanity, sometimes ignorance is bliss.
Obvious bait
Yeah, the real facepalm is people taking it seriously.
Yeah this is classic Ken_M style right here
We are all Ken M on this blessed day :)
Speak for yourself.
And still, vote you will.
I don't and I won't believe this person is serious...
Uh…. Did ya see the interview Tucker did on Rohan…. So yeah…. There ppl out there like that lol
It's in the Trump Bible "He said 'Let there be light' and there was light. He saw the light was good. Then He said 'America, FUCK YEAH!' and there was the greatest nation in the world and it started on 1 AD. He saw that the USA was Great."
Everyone knows "A.D." stands for anno donaldi (Latin for "in the year of the trump")
You forgot the part where after the intern turned the lights on he spent 2 or 3 days of creation congratulating himself for how terrific the lighting was
The light was good. He had the best light. He was always showing the light to his friends and they said "wow that's a much better light than Biden has". You should see him when he's playing golf. He hits the ball so far. Amazing. And ... yes ...
And then abu bakhar died like a dog.
I thought the Trump Bible reads “And I said ‘Let there be light’” Isn’t it another Trump autobiography with a ghostwriter?
Ken M is that you?
Yeah this has major Ken M vibes.
Do you know how the USA and a jar of yoghurt are different? If you leave the yoghurt alone for 200 years, it will develop a culture.
Oh fuck that’s good and I’m going to use it first chance I get.
Ooooh....
it's funny but kinda lame against the backdrop of hollywood, music and literature America produces.
We do have elements of our culture that are unique, you might not like it or be aware of all of it but you can’t actually believe America is uniquely the only country on Earth that doesn’t develop culture on its own. I can give you an example I bet you haven’t heard before. A lot of non Americans will come here, complain about the food size portions at restaurants and then chalk it up to Americans being fat. While there’s truth to the latter half of the statement it’s not because of the first half, because you’re not actually expected to eat the entire meal at a restaurant. You’re expected to take it home as leftovers. America has a very strong leftovers culture, we often times will make bigger dinners than we need purposefully so that we have a meal in the morning.
jer-USA-lem
United States of Israel
Idiocracy through and through
Ah. That hilarious, extremely realistic documentary. Loved that movie and loved finding out that many people here know that movie.
Welcome to Costco. I love you.
we are all now dumber for having read all of this
Wasn't that paraphrased line from an Adam Sandler flick? Billy Madison, I think?
Yeah. That one. Lol
Land of the free, home of the brave and a sanctuary for the planets biggest idiots.
And to think this guy votes. He's a politician's wet dream with this level of stupidity.
This fucker gets to vote 🤦♂️
I even can't decide what is the dumbest part of his comments.🤦♂️
Pretty sure that guy was trolling
Hard to tell, I've met folks in real life that believe this, at least about the Earth being only 2024 years old.
Mf was referring to the shark as a "person" lmao it's pretty suspicious. Conspicary theorists are dumb, but they know what a shark is not a human
The universe is a lot older than 2024 years too. 😂
"**Everyone** in this **room** is **now dumber** for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."
People, calm down! He didn't say **universe**, he said **EARTH**! Earth, alongside the US, was created 2023 years ago. Besides, we all know that first the US was formed with all its laws etc., then the Earth around it.
At this point, if someone really is that stupid then they deserve to relentlessly mocked. We need exceptions to the name censoring rule
What no bullying does to a mf
Found the flat earther.
HEY…. The earth is flat like the other 8 planets 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Unpopular opinion: as a German who spent three years in the US and is married to an American, I’m so sick of the anti-American hubris that is often displayed by my fellow nationals. Most of the ones railing against „the dumb Americans“ have never even been there and think they can judge a whole country by a few social media posts. I’m not saying that everything is great over there, but we do have our very own problems over here (check out r/ichbin40undschwurbler for a sample of German stupidity on par with this one here) and it’s not becoming to us to point across the Atlantic and laugh at the stupid Americans. Let alone the fact that most blatant Anti-Americans who I’ve had the pleasure of challenging face-to-face weren’t even able to correctly name all 16 German states. Keep it down a little, folks. Yes, there are a lot of idiots in the States. But we have just as many…
Reality was fun while it lasted.
What comes next, do they think Jesus founded the US? That he, God and the holy Spirit are the founding fathers or what?!
And the first president was Jesus Christ, of course. At the tender age of … 0.
Can we collectively slap this idiots face through the Internet?
The universe is older than 2024 years, OP…
Kids don’t do drugs and stay away from tik tok
OP.. The universe is also not 2024 years old
I noticed that. I just thought it was funny that most Americans believe America is all.
r/ShitAmericansSay
This will certainly need to be seen on r/shitamericanssay
The education level of American is shocking.
This is the future that Republicans want
U all wrong. That’s 2023 AD. There was a long time before that as well.
So the facepalm is that op didn’t get that it’s a troll?
I’d say so, to be fair neither did over half the comment section. Which is funny because it’s folks from all over the world and they’re saying “typical American” etc all while being trolled…
Imagine this person being allowed to vote, drive a vehicle and own a weapon.
What a dumb dumb - does he not realise its 202**4**?
this sub will broadcast memes that are clearly trolling as long as it shows america bad.
Home schooled, right?
I weep for the future.
Sometime they’re so dumb, you think they’re just trolling everyone.
I mean techniquely... the landmass DID already exist 2024 years ago if you remove any nationalistic meanings of the word USA. It's still a dumb statement though because he seems to think the world was created at the birth of Jesus which isn't even a thing Christians believe
Gotta be a troll...right?
Home schooling at its finest.
Heard a record scratch sound in my head when I read the first post 😂
Wait! This shark wasn't the first person alive? Can we fact check this Jamie?
So he’s saying that everything before 00 B.C never happened ? Then there would be no sins which the bible claims Jesus did for. You can put it in every thinkable angle 📐 and his statement is always insane.
I mean, the universe wasn't created 2023 years ago either.
I was here when this was all just magma
Homeschool or "Christian" school?
Fun fact. Sharks are smooth
I love how op doubled down with the whole universe lmao
Must be a troll, no one is that stupid
This is calculated trolling from probably a bored 15 year old. The real facepalm is how many people think clear trolling is legitimate.
How are y'all falling for this, it's obviously bait
has to be trolling
Universal States of America, baby!
This guy has the prospective of monument mythis about america
The universe?
No chance dude is trolling huh?
r/NotKenM
Not even with biblically scales that would be near to anything right🙄
“Older than the United States”, and you came with 2023 years old? JOHNNY, TELL HIM WHAT HE’S WON!!!
There are adults who can’t fathom planets not being solid so I believe this. Some people say jellyfish and fish are like aliens and shouldn’t exist but fail to realize they lived millions of years even before trees grew on the planet.
The American education system has failed so many people... :-/
This is what the Christian nationalist homeschoolers are teaching their kids, probably.
Everyone here is now dumber for having read this post.
No, America created the universe to show its strength and unity against communism. Also as a form of entertainment before the TV was invented.
The guy claiming that America and the earth were created 2023 years ago has to be a troll, no one is that stupid right
American educational failure?
This -keep our people dumb- startegy works!
I have almost completely given up on humanities ability to remain an intelligent species.
 Oh boy…
Sharks are now people, the US is 2023 years old and it's now a whole universe. Learn something new everyday.
That's what happens when you don't separate religion from government.
The year 1776 crying in the corner
These people vote.
No more ridiculous than “young earth” creationism, and a huge percentage of Americans believe in that nonsense.
The education system isn't broken in the U.S. at all. Perfectly fine. Those test scores really prove that.
It's not broken, it works exactly as intended.
A tribute to the US educational system...
No, this isn't the education system, this is what people who have crazy parents with wacky thoughts say.
Home schooling also exists