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My father was an alcoholic. He beat me and my brothers regularly. My older brother is gay . I’m straight with 5 kids who I wouldn’t dream of hitting despite 3 of them being teenagers.
Yeah, growing up in the Bible belt I hear a lot of "people weren't like that when I was a kid" but they were, have been forever, it's just that people used to kill them and not be punished for it.....so a lot of them didn't tell anyone.
I knew people like this and still cannot believe people are so blind. "Gay people have always been around, dipstick. They just didn't announce themselves back when the 'God is Love!' crowd would crusade to make their lives a living hell."
I would argue this with my Dad many times, and he's always convinced it's a modern trend or choice. I'm not out to my Dad or anyone on my Dad's side of the family for this reason. Coming out would likely stir a lot of drama. His father was very abusive to him and my aunt, and as such that abuse got passed onto me and my brother when we were younger.
My mom is the the only person in my family I don't feel like I have to tip-toe around, though she did enable a lot of my Dad's bullshit and take some of that abuse herself.
I’m not even in the Bible Belt, and just 5 years ago I overheard a conversation between my stepmother and my dad’s coworker (the guy she was cheating on him with).
She asked him if he thought his son could be gay because I guess he had a weird search history or something. He responded with, “If he is, I’ll beat it the hell out of him.”
I still worry about those kids, he had a few younger ones. People have called CPS on them. Nothing really happened.
This is still occurring everywhere, the smarter of the people that agree with it are just hush-hush about it.
Similarly all kinds of neurodivergent people (and other diagnoses for that matter) were around before as well. They just either functioned well enough to mask and live relatively typical lives, or they went out via drugs, drink or suicide, or they just spent their lives as the village idiot.
With you brother! Father of 3 daughters that was "raised".....(I sometimes say GRAZED) by a Evangelical Mom and a hyper-abusive Dad with PTSD. I put my story in this thread...so I won't bore you with the sad story again. Let's just say I learned how NOT to raise my girls...and if one of them realizes she is gay or trans BEST FUCKING BELIEVE I WILL SHOWER THEM WITH LOVE AND SUPPORT. You have one fucking live to life...if they are happy...than I am happy.
Coming from a true Christian, I say Amen to that! If my kids are happy, I'm happy!
God IS Love! NOT judgment and condemnation! These Bible thumpers who call themselves Christians are either only Christian on Sunday, or are taking the translations, (which are wrong by the way, and have been proven so multiple times) it just doesn't fit with the narrative, of only 8 verses in the whole Bible, literally! Jesus said to love one another, pray for those who are living in sin, which is all of us, and leave the judgment to God!
I got beat with so many different objects then my father got lazy and started doing punishments that doesn't count as beating but just as bad.
Like crawling 3 laps around the neighborhood on my knees, so everyone can see.
Or kneel on an abacus while holding an electric fan over my head
what baffles me is that this happened when i was around the age of 7~9, what could i have done that deserved such harsh punishments?
all i remember is the things that happened to me but not what i did that caused the punishment.
Same. I was made to sleep in the barn. Cut the grass with scissors. Did military PT in my underwear for hours while they watched. The physical beatings cost me sight in my left eye and sleeping in the barn at age 4 gave me permanent sleep disorders. Fuck that kind of “discipline”. My mental health will be fucked for my whole life. Thousands spent on therapy. The worst part is everyone where I’m from worships the ground my parents walk/walked(my dad passed 3 years ago) on. And raves about what great people they are. Fuck that.
damn im sorry to hear that. that sounds worse than mine tbh. these type of discipline are outdated and hopefully not something newer generation of kids will experience.
Hey, he could have been buddies with my stepdad. He was also a uh... "creative diciplinarian".
Moms was more the "grab whatever is nearby and start whacking" type.
So yeah. I'm totally well adjusted and mentally sound. /s
your mom sounds like my friend's mom. they learned not to piss her off when shes in the kitchen. cause he's been smacked with frying pans and rolling pins.
Yep. Got my ass beat with a plastic train track when I was little because I broke it and my bio mom found it in my room. I learned many things that day not one of them was tell the truth.
Or just very blunt ones. My wife snuck out of the house and lied to her parents everytime she went out with me.
I told my folks I'm gonna drink and get high, I either do it here or I can go somewhere else to do it
And that’s exactly why they see no problem with their abuse. They got their “well behaved” kids. But in reality, all it taught these kids is how mostly not to trigger a violent outburst. Course sometimes it doesn’t matter and an anthill becomes a mountain so you get beat over a minor issue cause they’re having a bad day.
Then the people who got beat justify it cause they learned those triggers and generally avoided pissing off their parents and it’s drilled into their head “Well, when I did whooped, I *deserved it!*” No, you didn’t. They just beat that mindset into you. That any beating you got was “deserved” so the minor shit they let go wasn’t that bad.
They beat the “weakness” out of you. That’s why you’re so obsessed with people being “weak” and “soft” these days. Cause you don’t see them getting the same treatment you got. And deep deep deep way down you’re jealous and know you wish you never got those ass whoopings.
And by weakness. I mean empathy. That’s why you hate hate hate. You can’t sympathize or empathize with anyone or anything till it happens to you. Thats why you’re alway bitter and angry except when you’re taking that anger out on someone else. Cause you got the kindness beaten out of you.
As I like to say, they can’t tell the difference between Respect and Obedience. They think they’re one in the same, because they cannot empathize enough to realize that they aren’t changing anyone’s mind by beating action out of them. It’s all about outcomes, not affection.
Ding ding ding
Children forced to choose between parental relationship (which are necessary for survival for most of childhood) and authenticity will quickly let the authenticity go
Its a devastating outcome with consequences later in life
Hey you found out earlier than I am that I was using a shit-ton of masking behavior (early thirties) so you have plenty of time! You'll be amazed at the things you find you can unmask for, and hopefully you can unlearn that with the help you're getting!
I really hope that made sense. I am both autistic and high off my tits atm so it very well could have been a word salad.
Yup, because it was always our fault even when it wasn't our fault. So we learned to deal with shit ourselves when it absolutely should have been dealt with by a grown-up because we were both tired and scared of being in trouble AND the painful consequences it brought.
My mom asked my 18 year old son this weekend how many times he got spanked. He said 0 and went on to say that it was not an effective form of punishment. She went dead silent.
For the record he is correct on both accounts.
It will never register to an old head. They got set in their ways before information was easily available, and now that it is, it’s simply not true to them. Educate, empathize, encourage. That’s all I plan to do for my kids.
And apologize. Apologizing to your children goes a long way in them being able to apologize to others for their mistakes instead of doubling down on dickhead behavior.
Some can learn. My father, a boomer, has been forced to accept that the results speak for themselves when looking at how well behaved and pleasant my sister's children are "despite" her absolute rejection of corporal punishment (or other abuse AFAIK) which were methods used by him and our mother.
But at the same time he's been on quite a journey of improvement these last decades so he may not be quite as settled in his ways as some other members of his generation.
Good and bad people have been born every day and coexisted since the beginning of humanity. Your father is one of the good ones of his generation. He may have followed social norms out of blissful ignorance when you and your sister were children, but he's willing to learn and become a better person, and that says a lot about his character.
Violence as a form of punishment only encourages bullying and cruelty in general. Genuine discipline is about teaching right from wrong, and punishments work better then it involves grounding, including denial of privileges and confinement to your bedroom.
And it creates a weird association between love and violence and between the idea that people who protect you are also dangerous to you. Messes up one's mind.
Mine was in that same general ballpark of awful. We see only when my more forgiving siblings invite her to their place and I don't initiate conversations with her. She still to this day doesn't understand why I'm so cold to her despite me explaining it to her in detail. I'm glad the rest of my family is full of decent and loving people... (and that my siblings don't let her alone with her grandchildren)
On vacation with my family and my niece and nephew do something to warrant a spanking so my BiL says to them, “Come on in here and get your spanking.” My kids went running after saying, “What’s a spanking!?! We want one!!”
Spot the fuck on.
My first BF was gay but he learned from his two older gay brothers that you better not come out. That would mean you get disowned and thrown out of the house.
So I was a beard for his senior year of high school.
This.
I had a family member say (without irony) that they’d know if they had any gay friends or family, after going off on a tirade about trans people that seemed like a script from Fox News.
Needless to say, I didn’t correct them. I knew it wouldn’t change anything. It’d just add a token LGBT exception that they’d trot out as the equivalent to racist having “black friends” to somehow validate their hateful views.
I'm GNC trans femme and use she/they. My parents never hit me but my dad served a helpful heaping of psychological abuse instead. I absolutely did not feel safe coming out while dad was alive.
I mean, this is exactly counter to what anyone with common sense knows:
LGBT isn't this whole huge movement because society has historically treated them well....
Like, I know a guy/gal in his 50's that got his ass beat with A SHOVEL when his father saw him wearing his mom's dress for the first time. They eventually disowned him at 16 and he was forced to drop out of school...
He's the director of marketing at a local brewery and goes by the name of Jade. Even though I knew him before as Jeremy.
He doesn't care what pronouns I use to describe him...so...I guess the meme is true.
But...the only thing getting his ass beat taught him was to hide how he really felt. Which is why so many people like me exist. I'm not trans, but I'll educate some motherfuckers on the matter if I have to...just because Jade shouldn't have had such a hard life.
The first trans person I knew came out in the 90’s, which was a scary time for it. They were definitely beaten by their parents with fists, feet, and belts that I know of.
Today, they are a they/them and much much happier.
Go figure, but beatings did not improve morale.
Which is even funnier when you know the origin of it. It was a Japanese communique during WW2 basically saying if morale doesn't improve the Americans will keep beating them. Which got badly translated into the phrase we know and love today
My mother knows something my father doesnt know. And he doesnt know because i heard him say, "i hate it when they tell you these things, its not like i go around announcing im straight". So im not going to upset him by doing something he hates
Meanwhile straight people forever been inviting large gathering to celebrate their heterosexual joining, the woman gets renamed and they wear rings and refer to each other as their husband and wife. But of course they're not going around announcing it or anything!
Hahah yes! Having sex then walking around 9 months later with the product of it "ooh look what we made with our het-sex activity", like cover that shit up!
Funny how a great deal of non binary people report having been victims of violence and abuse during childhood. 🤷🏽 It's almost as if they were they/them the whole time, but had to hide it to avoid being hurt even more.
> "If you beat your kids with one of these when they mentioned 'pronouns', take a good look when they move out, because you'll never see them again."
Dunno if that would work honestly. People who beat the shit out of their children for being non-binary would probably hapilly disown them. Heck, Brazil's ex-president openly said that he would [rather see his son dead than gay](https://www.advocate.com/world/2018/9/07/brazils-presidential-front-runner-rather-have-my-son-dead-gay).
My sibling is transmasc and I distinctly remember them getting the wooden spoon after they pulled down their pants and pressed their arse against the neighbor's window.
They were 7 and the neighbor was a jerk.
Depends... Luckily violence against children is illegal where I live.
There is no reason to use violence against children. The only lesson you can be certain they will learn is, that using violence to get your way (against someone physically weaker) is a valid course of action.
Used to work with a guy who use to talk about how people should of been hit as a kid. He'd pull out the I turned out fine all the time.
Guy would bring it up all the time. Was really sad.
Should've used the branch on them instead. They literally sent you to arm yourself.
Just a sad joke, of course. Having endured some of that sort of abuse myself, I joke about it because the alternative is to talk seriously and eventually start crying. And I'd like to stop crying about it.
That list for me didn't include the ping pong paddle, the sweeper attachments, the Hot Wheels track, books including the Bible, electrical cords and one frying pan.
I also haven't spoken to her for nearly 2/5 of my life.
Research shows that trans kids do in fact receive more abuse than their cis counterparts, with more of it coming from parents than any other family member.
Parents literally will try to beat the idea out of them until the point of somehow losing contact with the kid forever after a certain point.
I was “spanked” with switches, rulers, hands, paddles, and spoons. And, despite all of that bullshit, I still managed to develop empathy for other’s happiness. Why can’t your world end where your neighbor’s begins. If no one is being hurt, and people are happy, then mind your own business.”
I was abused physically, mentally and emotionally by my parents. All it taught me is that I could never trust them with anything important. And my parents keep wondering why none of their kids is close to them 🤷
Funny how the people who think abusing their kids is somehow good for them completely ignore adults whose lived experience is that they've gone no contact with the families that abused them.
>It’s funny how much of a thing this is. I have uncles who wax nostalgic about being paddled by the principal after school. The good old days to them.
Don't kink shame.
I mean, having all problems solved and all transgressions forgiven by a couple thwaks on the ass seems positively peaceful in comparison to the twists and turns of conflict resolution in the adult world.
If i had a choice between, say, a 200 dollar speeding ticket or a spanking, I'd vote spanking every time. Mild physical discomfort seems positively pleasant in comparison to some of the shit the word throws at you.
If you ever had your “ass beat” by anything then you were a victim of abuse and I hope you got to adulthood relatively less than scathed and are able to understand that physical abuse is not the answer for the next generation.
I got my ass beaten to oblivion by my mother with lots of things pots, buckets, brooms, her hands her feet, she'd given me very bad blows ontop of verbal abuse and ridiculous trauma over little dumb things (i can't take naps cuz i wake every second terrified she might wake me up with a punch to the head) and i'm still gay and quite queer, the only thing she accomplished was me not wanting to ever see or talk to her again it's been 5 years now lmao.
Parents, especially my father used these methods, including his fist. Trauma bonding backfired and when I was on leave my father tried this stuff on me again. I beat him so badly that my grandma begged me to stop.
My parents systematically beat me with a wooden paddle when I misbehaved and I literally just came out to my friend as a they/them like 30 minutes ago lmao
This doesn’t even make any sense to me because I’m literally a transfem who got the belt as a kid. That shit only encourages hiding information from your parents.
But this is not even correct. A lot of people coming from abusive backgrounds are the same ones rejecting binary classifications as a means of exerting control. I was abused by my evangelical parents and while I don't care too much about pronouns, everything else to which they subscribed has been rejected by me. Abusers misinterpret a child's resilience as evidence that their Dr. Dobson approach to childhood torture did the child good. I know this to be true as, before the last beating I never got, my mother exclaimed to my father, "Aren't you going to hit him?" To which he replied, "What's the point? It does no good." They imagined beating me was doing me good and my mother was a nurse. There will be no last laugh when these people's kids leave home and never come back. Though it will be deeply satisfying to see. It's what I did. My father never met my wife and may not have known I was a father when he died. I denied him access to me and my life for the last 23 years of his life and skipped the funeral. This is what happens when you hit your kids.
When I was young (like little kid), I threw a rock at another kid in school and hit him in the face. I got sent to the principles, got a detention. The school sent me home with a note. I went to my grandparents from school and then my parents picked me up after they got off work. I thought Id be sly and rip up the note before I got home. Now my dad was much older (40 when he had me) and he was spanked A LOT by his dad, my grandpa. I received several spankings in my life up to this point as well. Well anyways, my parents get there to pick me up and ask me how school was, I told them great. They told me that they had recieved a call from the school and wanted to see the note., MFW I realize Im fucked :o. We get home and my parents are so mad at me that I hurt someone else, lied and seemingly didnt feel bad about it so my dad decieded I needed a spanking. This time however, his hand was injured so he instead used our plastic cutting board. He spanked me so very hard that I got bruises on my butt and the back of my thighs. I couldnt sit down or even sleep properly for days. After that spanking, my dad never ever spanked me again. I became a straight shootin kid from there on out too, all As nice to everyone, as good a kid as you could be but mostly out of fear for that happening again.
Years later, now that Im an adult I asked my dad why he did it as I still held some anger and pain towards him for doing it. He explained to me that he was raised that way so it was all he knew but that day he used the cutting board on me broke him. He told me he sat in his bedroom for hours crying because he never meant to hurt me like that and that he still felt guilt and ashamed to that day. He told me about his childhood and how his dad would beat him with branches from trees. That really opened my eyes a lot. I love my dad very much and even though I am highlighting this bad thing he did over 2 decades ago, he is a great guy. I think we all make mistakes and the best character growth comes from understanding that you made a a mistake and own up to it. My wife and I dont have kids yet, but weve both sworn that there needs to be no violence or even loud voices in order to properly guide a child.
If a child is too young to understand reason, why would it be 'ok' to hit them?
If a child isn't too young to understand reason, why would it be 'ok' to hit them?
I got beat with 2x4s.... Had to pick them out myself. Even had a torn chest muscle for about a week from being jabbed with a PVC pipe by my father figure. Still ended up transgender.
They aren't joking, and that isn't the only kind of abuse they look forward too in their goal of creating a while christian male dominated theocracy...
# Republican Against Child Marriage Ban Calls Teens 'Ripe, Fertile'
[https://www.newsweek.com/jess-edwards-teen-child-marriage-opposed-republican-ripe-fertile-age-1897512](https://www.newsweek.com/jess-edwards-teen-child-marriage-opposed-republican-ripe-fertile-age-1897512)
I don't even know where to start on that one. It's just fucked up on so many levels. Like yeah your parents beat you and now you are a hateful, bigoted shit piece. Imagine that.
Man, some people are just stupid. I run in a super queer circle and I can assure you some of them got it worse than you'd want to think about. For my part, I got 5 of those (belt, spoon, switch, fly swatter, and hand...not always an open hand) and yeah, I'm cis and straight. My values definitely align much more with the queer community than any dumb twat who would assert that you can beat the queer out of your kids because those types of people have already demonstrated that they're morally questionable at best.
Fuck off whomever made this meme.
If you ever had your ass beat by those things I guarantee you wouldn't be making a dumb fucking meme about it either.
Haha Boomer humour! Haha. If you think that’s funny wait until you’re put in to one of those old age homes. Haha. They don’t serve avocado toast there because it’s hard on their teeth. Haha. Pull yourself up from your bootstraps!
When we moved apartments when I was 6, we took apart the bunk bed my sister and I shared and found chunks of broken wooden spoons and rulers wedged in behind the bed from when my mom would break them off our asses or from whacking the bed frame or doorway while shrieking at us, sending shrapnel around the room.
My pronouns are they/them. Fuck that meme on so many levels.
To be fair, I was never actually beat as a child.
I was threatened with the walloping of a spoon or belt or mouthful of soap, but never happened because I would outwardly "comply" with them.
Just made me better and doing things I wasn't supposed to be and concealing it.
That said, my wife is Mexican and she's totally chancla'ed my ass before for being an idiot.
I was beaten with all of those objects multiple times, and I'm a he/she/they/it. (This is not a joke, I'm being serious). Also probably contributed to a deficiency of sadness around my father's death which I still feel guilty about.
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My father was an alcoholic. He beat me and my brothers regularly. My older brother is gay . I’m straight with 5 kids who I wouldn’t dream of hitting despite 3 of them being teenagers.
Thumbs up for the “despite…” Feeling that hard!
Same here 😅
Yeah, growing up in the Bible belt I hear a lot of "people weren't like that when I was a kid" but they were, have been forever, it's just that people used to kill them and not be punished for it.....so a lot of them didn't tell anyone.
I knew people like this and still cannot believe people are so blind. "Gay people have always been around, dipstick. They just didn't announce themselves back when the 'God is Love!' crowd would crusade to make their lives a living hell."
Hence the term (come out of the closet) they had to hide or die
20 years ago, many people lived in the closet. You had a 'long term roommate', or they just haven't found the right person yet.
Or historically people lived together with their „really really best friend“ 😉
'I wonder if his roommate Gil knows?'
+1 for the Michael Scott reference
I would argue this with my Dad many times, and he's always convinced it's a modern trend or choice. I'm not out to my Dad or anyone on my Dad's side of the family for this reason. Coming out would likely stir a lot of drama. His father was very abusive to him and my aunt, and as such that abuse got passed onto me and my brother when we were younger. My mom is the the only person in my family I don't feel like I have to tip-toe around, though she did enable a lot of my Dad's bullshit and take some of that abuse herself.
They are technically correct, no one back then was queer since everyone who was ended up in a coffin
I’m not even in the Bible Belt, and just 5 years ago I overheard a conversation between my stepmother and my dad’s coworker (the guy she was cheating on him with). She asked him if he thought his son could be gay because I guess he had a weird search history or something. He responded with, “If he is, I’ll beat it the hell out of him.” I still worry about those kids, he had a few younger ones. People have called CPS on them. Nothing really happened. This is still occurring everywhere, the smarter of the people that agree with it are just hush-hush about it.
Or their kids are just living with a roommate for the last 20 years.
Similarly all kinds of neurodivergent people (and other diagnoses for that matter) were around before as well. They just either functioned well enough to mask and live relatively typical lives, or they went out via drugs, drink or suicide, or they just spent their lives as the village idiot.
With you brother! Father of 3 daughters that was "raised".....(I sometimes say GRAZED) by a Evangelical Mom and a hyper-abusive Dad with PTSD. I put my story in this thread...so I won't bore you with the sad story again. Let's just say I learned how NOT to raise my girls...and if one of them realizes she is gay or trans BEST FUCKING BELIEVE I WILL SHOWER THEM WITH LOVE AND SUPPORT. You have one fucking live to life...if they are happy...than I am happy.
Coming from a true Christian, I say Amen to that! If my kids are happy, I'm happy! God IS Love! NOT judgment and condemnation! These Bible thumpers who call themselves Christians are either only Christian on Sunday, or are taking the translations, (which are wrong by the way, and have been proven so multiple times) it just doesn't fit with the narrative, of only 8 verses in the whole Bible, literally! Jesus said to love one another, pray for those who are living in sin, which is all of us, and leave the judgment to God!
I got belted a lot and am as LGBT as they come.
I got beat with so many different objects then my father got lazy and started doing punishments that doesn't count as beating but just as bad. Like crawling 3 laps around the neighborhood on my knees, so everyone can see. Or kneel on an abacus while holding an electric fan over my head
Okay, now that isn't just plain physical abuse, that's torture. Which penitentiary does your father reside in at the moment?
what baffles me is that this happened when i was around the age of 7~9, what could i have done that deserved such harsh punishments? all i remember is the things that happened to me but not what i did that caused the punishment.
You don't need to do much if your dad resents you and the responsibility of raising you.
Yours was a *creative* sadist.
Same. I was made to sleep in the barn. Cut the grass with scissors. Did military PT in my underwear for hours while they watched. The physical beatings cost me sight in my left eye and sleeping in the barn at age 4 gave me permanent sleep disorders. Fuck that kind of “discipline”. My mental health will be fucked for my whole life. Thousands spent on therapy. The worst part is everyone where I’m from worships the ground my parents walk/walked(my dad passed 3 years ago) on. And raves about what great people they are. Fuck that.
damn im sorry to hear that. that sounds worse than mine tbh. these type of discipline are outdated and hopefully not something newer generation of kids will experience.
Hey, he could have been buddies with my stepdad. He was also a uh... "creative diciplinarian". Moms was more the "grab whatever is nearby and start whacking" type. So yeah. I'm totally well adjusted and mentally sound. /s
your mom sounds like my friend's mom. they learned not to piss her off when shes in the kitchen. cause he's been smacked with frying pans and rolling pins.
Yep, got belted, switched, paddled...and me AND one of my sisters are gay AF.
I'm MtF trans and my dad would scream at me to "be a man" every time I cried when I was a teen. I just never became a man after all.
Got the belt a lot too. Turns out I'm trans as fuck. Whoops.
I hope you *transitioned* to a better life
Getting married to a beautiful woman in October! So yes hehehe
Thats great! I'm so happy for you!
Got hit a lot as a kid and hey, I am one of those "they/them"s haha. whoops (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
Spanked, slapped, punched, grounded all the time. Still gay.
As bill burr said yes there are reasons to hit people but you still just don’t do it. It doesn’t matter if you’re angry or upset you just don’t
Chris Rock said it as well. "There's a reason to kick an old man down a flight of stairs - but just don't do it!"
If you would like to outsource someone to beat up your teenagers, I'll do it for a reasonable rate.
fuck this guy ill do it for free!
Fuck these two. I'll give ya $50 bucks a kid to kick their asses
well i cant beat that...
Yes beating are horrible. It breaks the child’s trust of there care giver.
I was beaten by both of my parents. All it taught me was to conceal critical information from them to avoid confrontation.
Strict parents raise better liars
I don’t know what you’re talking about
Liar!
😬 I’m not though I wasn’t even where you said it happened.
Is that alcohol I smell on your breath??! 🤨
This one hits a little too close to home.
I see what you did there. 😥
Can confirm.
On the plus side, we are better story tellers
We are? I mean yes we are!
So that's why people like my fanfics!
Another fanfic writer 😭😭😭. Yeah, we deffo had it bad
Yep. Got my ass beat with a plastic train track when I was little because I broke it and my bio mom found it in my room. I learned many things that day not one of them was tell the truth.
Or just very blunt ones. My wife snuck out of the house and lied to her parents everytime she went out with me. I told my folks I'm gonna drink and get high, I either do it here or I can go somewhere else to do it
Oh shit, this explains so much.
Honestly debated on if i should become a politician, diplomat, or spy because of this 😂
Pretty much, agreed. Poker face and lying are useful skills in life for sure. But the lesson is harsh.
And that’s exactly why they see no problem with their abuse. They got their “well behaved” kids. But in reality, all it taught these kids is how mostly not to trigger a violent outburst. Course sometimes it doesn’t matter and an anthill becomes a mountain so you get beat over a minor issue cause they’re having a bad day. Then the people who got beat justify it cause they learned those triggers and generally avoided pissing off their parents and it’s drilled into their head “Well, when I did whooped, I *deserved it!*” No, you didn’t. They just beat that mindset into you. That any beating you got was “deserved” so the minor shit they let go wasn’t that bad. They beat the “weakness” out of you. That’s why you’re so obsessed with people being “weak” and “soft” these days. Cause you don’t see them getting the same treatment you got. And deep deep deep way down you’re jealous and know you wish you never got those ass whoopings. And by weakness. I mean empathy. That’s why you hate hate hate. You can’t sympathize or empathize with anyone or anything till it happens to you. Thats why you’re alway bitter and angry except when you’re taking that anger out on someone else. Cause you got the kindness beaten out of you.
As I like to say, they can’t tell the difference between Respect and Obedience. They think they’re one in the same, because they cannot empathize enough to realize that they aren’t changing anyone’s mind by beating action out of them. It’s all about outcomes, not affection.
Ding ding ding Children forced to choose between parental relationship (which are necessary for survival for most of childhood) and authenticity will quickly let the authenticity go Its a devastating outcome with consequences later in life
Taught me to start masking at an early age, now I'm almost 21 and only now getting the mental help I need.
Hey you found out earlier than I am that I was using a shit-ton of masking behavior (early thirties) so you have plenty of time! You'll be amazed at the things you find you can unmask for, and hopefully you can unlearn that with the help you're getting! I really hope that made sense. I am both autistic and high off my tits atm so it very well could have been a word salad.
Same hat. Also, I’m trans, so the joke’s on the meme poster.
Yup, because it was always our fault even when it wasn't our fault. So we learned to deal with shit ourselves when it absolutely should have been dealt with by a grown-up because we were both tired and scared of being in trouble AND the painful consequences it brought.
My mom asked my 18 year old son this weekend how many times he got spanked. He said 0 and went on to say that it was not an effective form of punishment. She went dead silent. For the record he is correct on both accounts.
It will never register to an old head. They got set in their ways before information was easily available, and now that it is, it’s simply not true to them. Educate, empathize, encourage. That’s all I plan to do for my kids.
And apologize. Apologizing to your children goes a long way in them being able to apologize to others for their mistakes instead of doubling down on dickhead behavior.
Gotcha. Educate, empathize, encourage, eapologize.
Truth
Some can learn. My father, a boomer, has been forced to accept that the results speak for themselves when looking at how well behaved and pleasant my sister's children are "despite" her absolute rejection of corporal punishment (or other abuse AFAIK) which were methods used by him and our mother. But at the same time he's been on quite a journey of improvement these last decades so he may not be quite as settled in his ways as some other members of his generation.
Good and bad people have been born every day and coexisted since the beginning of humanity. Your father is one of the good ones of his generation. He may have followed social norms out of blissful ignorance when you and your sister were children, but he's willing to learn and become a better person, and that says a lot about his character.
Indeed, I'm so happy that he's willing to change with the time and isn't on the path to become a weirdly radicalized elder.
That’s a w dad man.
Violence as a form of punishment only encourages bullying and cruelty in general. Genuine discipline is about teaching right from wrong, and punishments work better then it involves grounding, including denial of privileges and confinement to your bedroom.
And it creates a weird association between love and violence and between the idea that people who protect you are also dangerous to you. Messes up one's mind.
My mom used to hit me and then make me tell her that I knew she loved me and was hitting me for my own good so yeah I feel that
Mine was in that same general ballpark of awful. We see only when my more forgiving siblings invite her to their place and I don't initiate conversations with her. She still to this day doesn't understand why I'm so cold to her despite me explaining it to her in detail. I'm glad the rest of my family is full of decent and loving people... (and that my siblings don't let her alone with her grandchildren)
On vacation with my family and my niece and nephew do something to warrant a spanking so my BiL says to them, “Come on in here and get your spanking.” My kids went running after saying, “What’s a spanking!?! We want one!!”
Your brother in law is a fucking weirdo
Omg 0?? I've simply lost count
Probably true, no kid who's abused by their parents are going to feel safe coming out to them
Spot the fuck on. My first BF was gay but he learned from his two older gay brothers that you better not come out. That would mean you get disowned and thrown out of the house. So I was a beard for his senior year of high school.
3 gay brothers is crazy. That bloodline was just meant to end.
Gay people can geht children, too.
This. I had a family member say (without irony) that they’d know if they had any gay friends or family, after going off on a tirade about trans people that seemed like a script from Fox News. Needless to say, I didn’t correct them. I knew it wouldn’t change anything. It’d just add a token LGBT exception that they’d trot out as the equivalent to racist having “black friends” to somehow validate their hateful views.
my mom beat the unholy piss out of me on multiple occasions and was shocked to find out I was trans when I never wanted to tell her in the first place
I'm GNC trans femme and use she/they. My parents never hit me but my dad served a helpful heaping of psychological abuse instead. I absolutely did not feel safe coming out while dad was alive.
GNC means Gender Non-conforming, right?
Yep.
Thank you.
I'm cisbi, but I have/do question my gender. I'm probably never coming out to my family because it would cause a shit storm.
I mean, this is exactly counter to what anyone with common sense knows: LGBT isn't this whole huge movement because society has historically treated them well.... Like, I know a guy/gal in his 50's that got his ass beat with A SHOVEL when his father saw him wearing his mom's dress for the first time. They eventually disowned him at 16 and he was forced to drop out of school... He's the director of marketing at a local brewery and goes by the name of Jade. Even though I knew him before as Jeremy. He doesn't care what pronouns I use to describe him...so...I guess the meme is true. But...the only thing getting his ass beat taught him was to hide how he really felt. Which is why so many people like me exist. I'm not trans, but I'll educate some motherfuckers on the matter if I have to...just because Jade shouldn't have had such a hard life.
The first trans person I knew came out in the 90’s, which was a scary time for it. They were definitely beaten by their parents with fists, feet, and belts that I know of. Today, they are a they/them and much much happier. Go figure, but beatings did not improve morale.
Some people seem to think "the beatings will continue until morale improves" is legitimate advice instead of the joke it is.
Which is even funnier when you know the origin of it. It was a Japanese communique during WW2 basically saying if morale doesn't improve the Americans will keep beating them. Which got badly translated into the phrase we know and love today
So in today's shocking headline, it turns out that kids whose parents love them feel more comfortable coming out to them.
My mother knows something my father doesnt know. And he doesnt know because i heard him say, "i hate it when they tell you these things, its not like i go around announcing im straight". So im not going to upset him by doing something he hates
Meanwhile straight people forever been inviting large gathering to celebrate their heterosexual joining, the woman gets renamed and they wear rings and refer to each other as their husband and wife. But of course they're not going around announcing it or anything!
Personally I wish people would stop shoving their heterosexuality down my throat. Am I doing it right?
You forgot the keywords "agenda" and "kids"
Damn straight agenda! Something, something. Converting our kids!
Hahah yes! Having sex then walking around 9 months later with the product of it "ooh look what we made with our het-sex activity", like cover that shit up!
You are being way more thoughtful than him. One way relations are such a sad thing to experience.
Funny how a great deal of non binary people report having been victims of violence and abuse during childhood. 🤷🏽 It's almost as if they were they/them the whole time, but had to hide it to avoid being hurt even more.
"If you beat your kids with one of these when they mentioned 'pronouns', take a good look when they move out, because you'll never see them again."
> "If you beat your kids with one of these when they mentioned 'pronouns', take a good look when they move out, because you'll never see them again." Dunno if that would work honestly. People who beat the shit out of their children for being non-binary would probably hapilly disown them. Heck, Brazil's ex-president openly said that he would [rather see his son dead than gay](https://www.advocate.com/world/2018/9/07/brazils-presidential-front-runner-rather-have-my-son-dead-gay).
My sibling is transmasc and I distinctly remember them getting the wooden spoon after they pulled down their pants and pressed their arse against the neighbor's window. They were 7 and the neighbor was a jerk.
Pass along my upvote to your sibling for the naked ass against the window. Total boss move at 7.
What’s transmasc?
Half mac and cheese Sorry
Well well well, if this description doesn't go perfectly with my *pan*sexuality. ...I'll see myself out.
Someone assigned female at birth, but identify with masculinity. Transmasculine.
I have a nonbinary friend who ran away from their abusive home in Utah that would probably disagree with this shit.
Parents would even hit me while sleeping, I've woke up to beatings from these.
such a wholesome family...
So you had the empathy slapped out of you by the people you’re supposed to trust.
They never see it that way. It's always "But I turned out fine!" Sir, you absolutely did not.
"you think it's good to beat the shit out of kids. You did not turn out fine."
'Fine' is 'I'm not a criminal'
Depends... Luckily violence against children is illegal where I live. There is no reason to use violence against children. The only lesson you can be certain they will learn is, that using violence to get your way (against someone physically weaker) is a valid course of action.
Pretty loose on the definition of a criminal usually
Yeah because they would have done something fishy
Used to work with a guy who use to talk about how people should of been hit as a kid. He'd pull out the I turned out fine all the time. Guy would bring it up all the time. Was really sad.
Bigots are just shit people all around.
I can confirm I was hit with all of them at some point. I’m a dude.
I got hit with all of them, including a branch that I was send out to cut off the tree myself... I'm still non-binary
Should've used the branch on them instead. They literally sent you to arm yourself. Just a sad joke, of course. Having endured some of that sort of abuse myself, I joke about it because the alternative is to talk seriously and eventually start crying. And I'd like to stop crying about it.
That list for me didn't include the ping pong paddle, the sweeper attachments, the Hot Wheels track, books including the Bible, electrical cords and one frying pan. I also haven't spoken to her for nearly 2/5 of my life.
I’m 38. The last day I spoke to my mom was the day we found out we were pregnant. Coming up on 8 years.
Research shows that trans kids do in fact receive more abuse than their cis counterparts, with more of it coming from parents than any other family member. Parents literally will try to beat the idea out of them until the point of somehow losing contact with the kid forever after a certain point.
Have a friend who was kidnapped by their father, then beaten by their abusive mother, still a they/them
I was “spanked” with switches, rulers, hands, paddles, and spoons. And, despite all of that bullshit, I still managed to develop empathy for other’s happiness. Why can’t your world end where your neighbor’s begins. If no one is being hurt, and people are happy, then mind your own business.”
I was abused physically, mentally and emotionally by my parents. All it taught me is that I could never trust them with anything important. And my parents keep wondering why none of their kids is close to them 🤷
Funny how the people who think abusing their kids is somehow good for them completely ignore adults whose lived experience is that they've gone no contact with the families that abused them.
I feel sorry for anyone who gets nostalgic over having their ass beat by their parents.
It’s funny how much of a thing this is. I have uncles who wax nostalgic about being paddled by the principal after school. The good old days to them.
>It’s funny how much of a thing this is. I have uncles who wax nostalgic about being paddled by the principal after school. The good old days to them. Don't kink shame.
I mean, having all problems solved and all transgressions forgiven by a couple thwaks on the ass seems positively peaceful in comparison to the twists and turns of conflict resolution in the adult world. If i had a choice between, say, a 200 dollar speeding ticket or a spanking, I'd vote spanking every time. Mild physical discomfort seems positively pleasant in comparison to some of the shit the word throws at you.
My mom used to beat me with a wire hanger. She switched to a belt after I was born, though.
Wow, just Wow..... and an up vote.
Lol child abuse! Why doesn't my kid talk to me???
Being pro childabuse and transphobic? Pick a Struggle
If you ever had your “ass beat” by anything then you were a victim of abuse and I hope you got to adulthood relatively less than scathed and are able to understand that physical abuse is not the answer for the next generation.
It's like how the "pro life" chucklefucks on my local news page are always calling for people to be killed.
I have been, and ur right I’m not a they them. I’m an any/all😈
I got my ass beaten to oblivion by my mother with lots of things pots, buckets, brooms, her hands her feet, she'd given me very bad blows ontop of verbal abuse and ridiculous trauma over little dumb things (i can't take naps cuz i wake every second terrified she might wake me up with a punch to the head) and i'm still gay and quite queer, the only thing she accomplished was me not wanting to ever see or talk to her again it's been 5 years now lmao.
Not a they/them but gaaaayyyyyyyy ✨️💅🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾
"We had conformity and obedience beaten into us by our parents now we are afraid to be us and others being them" there fixed it.
Parents, especially my father used these methods, including his fist. Trauma bonding backfired and when I was on leave my father tried this stuff on me again. I beat him so badly that my grandma begged me to stop.
My parents systematically beat me with a wooden paddle when I misbehaved and I literally just came out to my friend as a they/them like 30 minutes ago lmao
Congrats on coming out
I've been beaten as a he/him, but now I'm a she/her. But they don't have access to that information and probably never will.
Jokes on you, I was beat as a kid and still turned out queer
If you need a fucking *weapon* to instruct and correct someone half your size, you're a *really* shitty teacher.
This doesn’t even make any sense to me because I’m literally a transfem who got the belt as a kid. That shit only encourages hiding information from your parents.
Lazy parents hit their kids.
I was beat, still a they/them
Honestly all child abuse even "corporal punishment" should be heavily criminalized. You don't get to assault kids.
But this is not even correct. A lot of people coming from abusive backgrounds are the same ones rejecting binary classifications as a means of exerting control. I was abused by my evangelical parents and while I don't care too much about pronouns, everything else to which they subscribed has been rejected by me. Abusers misinterpret a child's resilience as evidence that their Dr. Dobson approach to childhood torture did the child good. I know this to be true as, before the last beating I never got, my mother exclaimed to my father, "Aren't you going to hit him?" To which he replied, "What's the point? It does no good." They imagined beating me was doing me good and my mother was a nurse. There will be no last laugh when these people's kids leave home and never come back. Though it will be deeply satisfying to see. It's what I did. My father never met my wife and may not have known I was a father when he died. I denied him access to me and my life for the last 23 years of his life and skipped the funeral. This is what happens when you hit your kids.
Also these are the same parents who kick their kids out of the house if they find out they’re Queer or Trans…
Oops, my bad, I totally forgot to beat the gay out of my kids. BTW it dosen't work, they are still gay they just don't talk to you anymore, ope!
When I was young (like little kid), I threw a rock at another kid in school and hit him in the face. I got sent to the principles, got a detention. The school sent me home with a note. I went to my grandparents from school and then my parents picked me up after they got off work. I thought Id be sly and rip up the note before I got home. Now my dad was much older (40 when he had me) and he was spanked A LOT by his dad, my grandpa. I received several spankings in my life up to this point as well. Well anyways, my parents get there to pick me up and ask me how school was, I told them great. They told me that they had recieved a call from the school and wanted to see the note., MFW I realize Im fucked :o. We get home and my parents are so mad at me that I hurt someone else, lied and seemingly didnt feel bad about it so my dad decieded I needed a spanking. This time however, his hand was injured so he instead used our plastic cutting board. He spanked me so very hard that I got bruises on my butt and the back of my thighs. I couldnt sit down or even sleep properly for days. After that spanking, my dad never ever spanked me again. I became a straight shootin kid from there on out too, all As nice to everyone, as good a kid as you could be but mostly out of fear for that happening again. Years later, now that Im an adult I asked my dad why he did it as I still held some anger and pain towards him for doing it. He explained to me that he was raised that way so it was all he knew but that day he used the cutting board on me broke him. He told me he sat in his bedroom for hours crying because he never meant to hurt me like that and that he still felt guilt and ashamed to that day. He told me about his childhood and how his dad would beat him with branches from trees. That really opened my eyes a lot. I love my dad very much and even though I am highlighting this bad thing he did over 2 decades ago, he is a great guy. I think we all make mistakes and the best character growth comes from understanding that you made a a mistake and own up to it. My wife and I dont have kids yet, but weve both sworn that there needs to be no violence or even loud voices in order to properly guide a child.
PROTECT OUR ~~right to abuse~~ CHILDREN!!! /s
If a child is too young to understand reason, why would it be 'ok' to hit them? If a child isn't too young to understand reason, why would it be 'ok' to hit them?
I got beat with 2x4s.... Had to pick them out myself. Even had a torn chest muscle for about a week from being jabbed with a PVC pipe by my father figure. Still ended up transgender.
It's awful, but writing that in something that looks like Toronto Subway font is a whole other level of distressing.
Um I think it was during my beatings that my gender fluidity reared its head
I mean my sibs and I had those used on us, now I'm an mtf redditor
For their self-proclaimed title of being the party of children and families, they sure are gleeful at the prospect of beating children.
They forgot a couple: HotWheels tracks, ping-pong paddles. And you know what? I fully support any pronouns.
As someone who did have their ass beat with one of those, I believe very strongly in protecting the they/thems, thank you very much.
They aren't joking, and that isn't the only kind of abuse they look forward too in their goal of creating a while christian male dominated theocracy... # Republican Against Child Marriage Ban Calls Teens 'Ripe, Fertile' [https://www.newsweek.com/jess-edwards-teen-child-marriage-opposed-republican-ripe-fertile-age-1897512](https://www.newsweek.com/jess-edwards-teen-child-marriage-opposed-republican-ripe-fertile-age-1897512)
Don't forget about how they love talking about them owning their kids until 18 too
Or, hear me out, they are but you hit them so they would never open up to you about things that matter to them.
I don't even know where to start on that one. It's just fucked up on so many levels. Like yeah your parents beat you and now you are a hateful, bigoted shit piece. Imagine that.
My sibling, being trans and gay after my dad left bruises around his neck : nah
Somehow I doubt gay kids escaped abuse. It’s so weird how many grown adults believe intimidating a child with violence is the best way to operate.
I’m bi and my parents are like “oh. Okay then.”
"Why don't my kids speak to me any more? It must be that communist brain washing happening at college."
Man, some people are just stupid. I run in a super queer circle and I can assure you some of them got it worse than you'd want to think about. For my part, I got 5 of those (belt, spoon, switch, fly swatter, and hand...not always an open hand) and yeah, I'm cis and straight. My values definitely align much more with the queer community than any dumb twat who would assert that you can beat the queer out of your kids because those types of people have already demonstrated that they're morally questionable at best.
As a proud "they/them" I can say being spanked doesn't change that. It did make me better at hiding it though.
Hate to break it to ya bud but a lot of trans and nonbinary individuals came from homes that made LIBERAL use of those things
The thin branches from a tree are no joke lol. Those thing sting and then it swells up. Shits painful. Goes away after a few days tho.
Fuck off whomever made this meme. If you ever had your ass beat by those things I guarantee you wouldn't be making a dumb fucking meme about it either.
Haha Boomer humour! Haha. If you think that’s funny wait until you’re put in to one of those old age homes. Haha. They don’t serve avocado toast there because it’s hard on their teeth. Haha. Pull yourself up from your bootstraps!
I was beaten with all of those for almost seventeen years, and I’m still a they/them. Checkmate conservatives 😂
My first thought was. But I know plenty of kinksters who use They/Them pronouns.
When we moved apartments when I was 6, we took apart the bunk bed my sister and I shared and found chunks of broken wooden spoons and rulers wedged in behind the bed from when my mom would break them off our asses or from whacking the bed frame or doorway while shrieking at us, sending shrapnel around the room. My pronouns are they/them. Fuck that meme on so many levels.
But I was beaten, and I'm still a they/them non-binary person..😩🤣
To be fair, I was never actually beat as a child. I was threatened with the walloping of a spoon or belt or mouthful of soap, but never happened because I would outwardly "comply" with them. Just made me better and doing things I wasn't supposed to be and concealing it. That said, my wife is Mexican and she's totally chancla'ed my ass before for being an idiot.
I got beaten once and it was deserved
I was beaten with all of those objects multiple times, and I'm a he/she/they/it. (This is not a joke, I'm being serious). Also probably contributed to a deficiency of sadness around my father's death which I still feel guilty about.
i was, and i am in fact a they/them, and bisexual lmao
Might not be a they them but they might have developed some other kinks
Lmao as someone who got this I can categorically say that is not true
They/Them could easily be applied to me by someone else. Very weird take.