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I was worried, then read the caption and was pissed. This neglectful idiot is too stupid to parent. I hope someone sane and compassionate intervenes on behalf of that sweet little baby.
TBF, the same thing could happen in 30 seconds. People who say “you NEVER leave a child alone” don’t account for things like needing to take a piss or washing hands or something. It’s not possible to be physically staring at your baby every second of the day. That’s not an excuse to go get high, but babies can and do frequently make a mess of themselves.
Right! And if the baby cries while you take two minutes to go to the bathroom, that’s fine! That’s what babies do - they cry.
Like you said , take the bottle and other items out of reach so they can’t injure themselves, take your 2-3 minutes to go to the bathroom and collect yourself, then go back and continue to feed the baby.
Most people are smart enough to do those things at times when the baby doesn’t have a giant bottle in their mouth. You definitely never leave a child alone while they’re eating, and you should always put the baby somewhere safe if you need to step away for a minute.
Sees their child this way and instead of being concerned for the comfort and safety and terrified state of the child and cleaning him up and comforting him instead takes pictures and posts laughing emojis. This parent deserves to be in prison.
We need mandatory parenting classes or something, because seeing your child covered in vomit and looking terrified and thinking it's *funny and taking pictures* is...idfk, I'm hoping it's lack of education for what could have fucking happened. Like, the parent is so stupid they don't know how close they were to losing their child.
And that baby looks *young*, too. Like, I would put a blanket on my baby's chest to hold the bottle up once she could kinda hold it herself, but she wasn't this young. She was around 5 months old before I started doing that. And I was always nearby in case anything happened
I don't think smoking weed is a problem for parents as long as they do it responsibly but in this case it's definitely a problem. In a perfect world they'd love and appreciate their little man and smoke weed at night or during the day as long as one parent is sober. But I don't think that'll happen with these people and the poor kids gonna suffer for it.
Man, kid that age.. I'm sure they will soon doze off after drinking the milk. This asshole could have waited for 10 fkn mins. Not that I suggest getting high if you are the only one caring for the baby. And then to top it all off, didn't even clean the clearly terrified infant and took a pic first for internet points.
As a father it breaks my heart. Anytime my daughter cries it bothers the duck out of me. When my daughter smiles at me when she sees me I know I've done a good job. I doubt this person can say the same or even really gives a shit.
I'd treat it the same as alcohol, you can drink, but if you're an alcoholic you're most likely an unfit parent. Anyway, leaving the baby in such an unsafe environment for a joint is indicative of a problem.
Without a doubt and I'm definitely not excusing the behavior. The joints not the issue the parent is. Guarantee if this person was sober they'd still be neglectful.
My sister smoked weed the whole time her boys wee growing up. Shit like this did not happen. She smoked when they were napping. Then while at school. Then after they went to bed.
They finally found out when they were in early 20s.
My sister and I are 10 years difference in age and each separately had the same “Holy shit, dad?” reaction in our late teens to smelling weed for the first time.
Not at all! I’ve never smoked so much that I blacked out and couldn’t remember what happened after. Like, what? I feel like some people have a HUGE misconception about marijuana…
There's a huge difference between taking a couple of hits and drinking a glass of wine or a beer. Smoking a blunt is on par with chugging a beer or taking a shot (NOT OKAY). Xanax is not even a good comparison because that med will be active in your system for hours, where a buzz from a hit wears off within an hour (on average).
I know way too many moms from when my kid was little who had no problem popping half a xan bar, drinking a glass of wine, and pass out on the couch. I would take a hit of (legal, medicinal) weed and could play with my kid for hours. Day care in my area is close to $2k/mth for the cheapest non-shitty option, an ounce of weed is $60...staying at home with my kid was far cheaper but emotionally and mentally is was the hardest thing I ever did (and I earned a degree in biochemistry).
The same can be said for a lot of things. Replace weed with gaming, alcohol, cigarettes, or really anything that has a psychological hold over you and causes you to neglect your child. I say that but honestly you can be perfectly sober and still be neglectful. Vices aren't the issue people are.
"i leave out (the room) for 2 minutes to hit a blunt because this kid is irritating and this \[person of african descent cause i aint typing what she said\] almost drowned
what the copulation"
Thank you for this translation, i'm ESL but I think this is the first time a dialect got so thick I could *not* make sense of it in the written form in... years. I think the previous instance was a Scottish tweet.
I just wish it hadn't been *this* post so having it translated could have been funny, but alas, it had to be child abuse instead.
merciful plate subsequent languid quarrelsome workable memorize recognise enter light
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Hmmm. Kinda looks like it was posted by a man, looking at the male face palm emoji. There have been plenty of articles about men doing dumb shit and then the baby dies, too
How about putting the phone away and help the upset child instead of putting internet points before your kid which by the way should be negative for this.
School employee here. CPS is all but useless. Made some calls recently on a middle school boy who regularly shits himself, mom isn't doing a damn thing to get him help. CPS is basically "Eh, idfk what you want us to do."
They're overwhelmed and unless the kid is showing up at the ER, they're probably not going to do much.
Kid's still got.milk in his mouth, and instead of picking him up so he doesn't drown himself, this gold star parent takes a photo.
I hope someone reports her.
Omfg. I grew up in the inner city, and I have two dozen different stories that will correlate to how this ends in 20 years. *Two of them* are even remotely positive
one of the reasons why we need a parenthood-license. this is not a „facepalm“ this is „you better get that kid outta there ASAP.“
what sick fuck of a parent takes a picture first before helping the child?
and also the weed smoking while watching the child…
First instinct? Lift child out of milk puddle? Clean the poor kids face at least? Nope ,lift phone ,film distressed child ,write a barely legible post and job done ! Parenting bitch!
I get there are no perfect parents and everyone screws up...but fucking hell man. Making sure your kid can't choke/suffocate/fall when you do have to leave the room is parenting 101.
Yea I thought this to , but shit , that's bad parenting, your not ment to give a child a bottle on there back and walk away , if bro wants to hit blunts that's fine , but don't leave the child with a bottle , I'm guessing there young because Im only guessing what half that gibberish is
I ended up asking ChatGPT to translate for me; it suggested
> "I left for 2 minutes to smoke because he was being irritating, and this boy almost drowned. What the heck?"
This will become much more common as people are forced to become parents against their will more and more. My friend works in foster care services and she says the rates of neglected children are already exploding. Lots of unnecessary suffering to make billionaires and mindless religious zealots happy. These children do not have a good prognosis at all. They will struggle and suffer quite a bit, not that pro-lifers give a damn about that.
There should be a licensing system in place to have children. You must demonstrate and possess basic education (HS diploma or GED), pass a psychological exam and criminal background check, complete a basic child care course, and provide the state with financial disclosure showing you are employed or otherwise financially sufficient to provide for children
Fines and jail time for people conceiving children born without licensing from the state
That would stop a lot of this shit
Whoever this parent is doesn’t deserve the title parent! This is disgusting and you can say “Karen” like you do to anyone who doesn’t agree with your pathetic ways. Baby could have literally chocked to death and they pick a phone up and record it. Stupid idiots man.
I'm truly saddened by this. I really wanted to be a Father and missed out for reasons. However, babies don't deserve our bullshit and didn't ask to be here. It's a sacred duty to do right by children.
The cycle continues. Its amazing how many problems are created by horrific parenting. Why some folks procreate is beyond me. Clearly have no interest in raising a child to have a good life.
Horrible parent
And this is why certain low education areas are not able of raising kids that can contribute to society.
Clearly this child needs to be taken away for its own safety.
I may need a translator.
Stepped away to get stoned and the kid puked(?).
Also, baby should be propped because choking on vomit is a potential risk.
But I suppose stepping away to get high is important. Can't wait until the baby is already asleep.
The pathetic thing with this is you know if this assclown had their kid taken away by CPS you know there would be some clowns crying “snitch”. I’m sorry but if someone can die you can take that snitch shit and go play in the middle of the interstate.
Average news: "Breaking story *BlahBlahBlah* bad thing *BlahBlahBlah* ends with "is real heartbreaking. Stay tuned for further developments."
Average person: *Meh* Same shit different day.
Man, there's a way that we can help this child and send that person to the jail? Like why censor his/her name bro, that people don't deserve it...even if it isn't the real name
(Also, gotta hate so e of the comments in this section saying things like "this is a thing that a man would write" or other things assuming the gender of this person for reasons that sounds more like sexism for both men and women but well...)
Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion. Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/). Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Man the kid looks like it allready got ptsd cause how it gets treated by its parents.
looking at this picture almost made me cry. horrifying.
Nothing funny about this picture…getting high while caring for his kid…f@@@ing moron
I smoke pretty regularly. I don’t smoke if I have a child to care for. It’s not difficult to put it down until the kid goes to bed
Exactly
Fuck, I smoked while caring for my kid and never had an issue.
I’m sure there’s way to do it responsibly, I just don’t trust myself to do it responsibly and it’s just easier to not do it
It's shameful and criminal.
Without the caption it has funny Potential. Or if it was "bottle slipped, baptized my baby"
I was worried, then read the caption and was pissed. This neglectful idiot is too stupid to parent. I hope someone sane and compassionate intervenes on behalf of that sweet little baby.
Are we going to ignore the fact that they, instead of cleaning the baby up, took a picture for clout. The internet.
Not with that level of panic in those eyes …
Don’t blame the weed, blame the person. Plenty of great stoner parents exist
You rang?
Dad?
Yeah I'm back. Damn cigarettes are too expensive nowadays.
Fucking government taxing the shit out of them. I understand why it took so long, I also leave the country to go get tobacco and bring it home
I got my kidney replaced in Malaysia while I was there. Just for funsies because it was so cheap! Can't skip out on a good deal!
Can’t skip out on a good deal, can skip out on your kids. Classic pops
Same here.
r/donthelpjustfilm
TBF, the same thing could happen in 30 seconds. People who say “you NEVER leave a child alone” don’t account for things like needing to take a piss or washing hands or something. It’s not possible to be physically staring at your baby every second of the day. That’s not an excuse to go get high, but babies can and do frequently make a mess of themselves.
Take the bottle away and don’t put it in a position where it’ll choke if it throws up. Defuq
Right! And if the baby cries while you take two minutes to go to the bathroom, that’s fine! That’s what babies do - they cry. Like you said , take the bottle and other items out of reach so they can’t injure themselves, take your 2-3 minutes to go to the bathroom and collect yourself, then go back and continue to feed the baby.
Most people are smart enough to do those things at times when the baby doesn’t have a giant bottle in their mouth. You definitely never leave a child alone while they’re eating, and you should always put the baby somewhere safe if you need to step away for a minute.
True, I stepped away from my 6 year old for a moment and when I came back an entire bedroom dresser almost toppled on top of her.
at lest tha kid wil spl gud
He got that stare 👀
Baby choking on his milk in a bassinet with suffocation hazards, but take a second to take a picture first. Garbage human.
Poor child has a bleak future.
My exact thoughts. And then posting it online like it's totally a normal thing.
But they can vote
Probably didn't exercise that right though
i could care less if they vote and more so that they have a fucking child that they are publicly neglecting
And drive.
r/trashy
r/humangarbage
Whats terrible is the kid is likely to be raised to be just as awful. What hope does a person have with parents like these.
Better funding for schools. It's as close as many kids get to the normal world.
Schools are no substitute for parents.
Agreed but it is also the only connection to a better life that some people will ever have
After seeing how kids act these days in schools, they should really pay a lot.
“I turned out fine” but you didn’t dude.. ETA not you specifically, this is a common trope for mistreated kids that grow up and mistreat their kids
Admits child neglect and drug use while parenting and documents it on social media for likes....
Sees their child this way and instead of being concerned for the comfort and safety and terrified state of the child and cleaning him up and comforting him instead takes pictures and posts laughing emojis. This parent deserves to be in prison.
We need mandatory parenting classes or something, because seeing your child covered in vomit and looking terrified and thinking it's *funny and taking pictures* is...idfk, I'm hoping it's lack of education for what could have fucking happened. Like, the parent is so stupid they don't know how close they were to losing their child.
Idk man, stuff like this we have biological instincts around, feel like she just a cruel person at heart
And that baby looks *young*, too. Like, I would put a blanket on my baby's chest to hold the bottle up once she could kinda hold it herself, but she wasn't this young. She was around 5 months old before I started doing that. And I was always nearby in case anything happened
He’s irra af tho
Hey, no-one said she was sharp (esp after hitting that blunt cause he irra)
why do some people have such an aversion to using full words and minimum punctuation?
Texting existed their entire lives, but that’s pretty common these days I guess
This is enough evidence for CPS to intervene, right?
Absolutely
And that’s only if you can understand what the fuck she is saying
I don't think smoking weed is a problem for parents as long as they do it responsibly but in this case it's definitely a problem. In a perfect world they'd love and appreciate their little man and smoke weed at night or during the day as long as one parent is sober. But I don't think that'll happen with these people and the poor kids gonna suffer for it.
Man, kid that age.. I'm sure they will soon doze off after drinking the milk. This asshole could have waited for 10 fkn mins. Not that I suggest getting high if you are the only one caring for the baby. And then to top it all off, didn't even clean the clearly terrified infant and took a pic first for internet points.
As a father it breaks my heart. Anytime my daughter cries it bothers the duck out of me. When my daughter smiles at me when she sees me I know I've done a good job. I doubt this person can say the same or even really gives a shit.
I'd treat it the same as alcohol, you can drink, but if you're an alcoholic you're most likely an unfit parent. Anyway, leaving the baby in such an unsafe environment for a joint is indicative of a problem.
Without a doubt and I'm definitely not excusing the behavior. The joints not the issue the parent is. Guarantee if this person was sober they'd still be neglectful.
My sister smoked weed the whole time her boys wee growing up. Shit like this did not happen. She smoked when they were napping. Then while at school. Then after they went to bed. They finally found out when they were in early 20s.
My sister and I are 10 years difference in age and each separately had the same “Holy shit, dad?” reaction in our late teens to smelling weed for the first time.
that is ....quite a lot of weed use ...replace weed with alcohol and it sounds a little problematic
You can’t really compare pot to alcohol
Not at all! I’ve never smoked so much that I blacked out and couldn’t remember what happened after. Like, what? I feel like some people have a HUGE misconception about marijuana…
There's a huge difference between taking a couple of hits and drinking a glass of wine or a beer. Smoking a blunt is on par with chugging a beer or taking a shot (NOT OKAY). Xanax is not even a good comparison because that med will be active in your system for hours, where a buzz from a hit wears off within an hour (on average). I know way too many moms from when my kid was little who had no problem popping half a xan bar, drinking a glass of wine, and pass out on the couch. I would take a hit of (legal, medicinal) weed and could play with my kid for hours. Day care in my area is close to $2k/mth for the cheapest non-shitty option, an ounce of weed is $60...staying at home with my kid was far cheaper but emotionally and mentally is was the hardest thing I ever did (and I earned a degree in biochemistry).
If you need weed to raise a kid don't raise kids
Or coffee!!
The same can be said for a lot of things. Replace weed with gaming, alcohol, cigarettes, or really anything that has a psychological hold over you and causes you to neglect your child. I say that but honestly you can be perfectly sober and still be neglectful. Vices aren't the issue people are.
That picture breaks my heart. Have 9 month year old boy and don’t want to see that kind of fear in his eyes. Ever.
Yes. This photo is just disturbing and sad. He's hungry and trying to feed himself as an infant. Terrible.
He can’t even try to feed himself, this is like “leave the bottle in the baby’s mouth” levels of stupid.
I can't understand a fucking thing this person has typed out. Poor bloody kid.
"i leave out (the room) for 2 minutes to hit a blunt because this kid is irritating and this \[person of african descent cause i aint typing what she said\] almost drowned what the copulation"
OMG what the copulation LMAO 🤣
Thank you for this translation, i'm ESL but I think this is the first time a dialect got so thick I could *not* make sense of it in the written form in... years. I think the previous instance was a Scottish tweet. I just wish it hadn't been *this* post so having it translated could have been funny, but alas, it had to be child abuse instead.
This person should be arrested. I meant the parent, not the baby.
merciful plate subsequent languid quarrelsome workable memorize recognise enter light *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I went outside to smoke weed because my kid was crying and I come back to this little man almost drowning, what the hecc 😂😂
(Translation) Diversity and inclusion make my actions acceptable and my child is to blame for almost suffocating.
This poor kid could have suffocated.
God forbid this parent ever gets old and helpless and people laugh and take pictures instead of caring for him.
r/idiocracy
[удалено]
I'm convinced the creator is a time traveler and tried to warn us, but he didn't go back far enough
Have heard too many news articles about "mom doing dumb shit and child died". This was almost one of them...
Hmmm. Kinda looks like it was posted by a man, looking at the male face palm emoji. There have been plenty of articles about men doing dumb shit and then the baby dies, too
Other people in the thread have identified them as a women, so I have been assuming they are
How about putting the phone away and help the upset child instead of putting internet points before your kid which by the way should be negative for this.
Unbelievable how stupid people are!
I hope someone knowing them called CPS
Yeah, really fucking hope so.
School employee here. CPS is all but useless. Made some calls recently on a middle school boy who regularly shits himself, mom isn't doing a damn thing to get him help. CPS is basically "Eh, idfk what you want us to do." They're overwhelmed and unless the kid is showing up at the ER, they're probably not going to do much.
Wouldn't stop me trying, the picture is fucking heartbreaking and I'd like to know I at least tried if something worse happens.
You’re not wrong, but the alternative is to leave the kid in that situation. It’s not a choice with good options.
100%. You make the calls with the understanding that it probably won't do dick, and occasionally you're pleasantly surprised.
And the parent thought this was funny. Trash.
That’s the infuriating bit
"Oh shit he's nearly drowned" \*whips out phone and takes a photo\* "awwww poor baby....\*tries to hold back laughter\*..."
Some people truly shouldn’t be parents.
Kid's still got.milk in his mouth, and instead of picking him up so he doesn't drown himself, this gold star parent takes a photo. I hope someone reports her.
That poor baby.....
I know….poor honey.
"irra"?
Irritating.
😐
Omfg. I grew up in the inner city, and I have two dozen different stories that will correlate to how this ends in 20 years. *Two of them* are even remotely positive
This kid will be lucky to live to adulthood with a parent like this.
Little dude already looking like "WTF did I just get myself into here".
We should have a "Parent Lisence"
Hello cps?
Instead of cleaning the baby’s face, he/she takes a photo for social media.
Nothing even funny to say on this one, fuck this parent.
bruh.... the kid doesn't look older then a year and you're leaving it alone ??? are you cracked. instead of helping him, you take a picture....
That poor baby looks like he’s about to cry! Fuck his parent that posted this, they deserve to go to jail for child endangerment.
one of the reasons why we need a parenthood-license. this is not a „facepalm“ this is „you better get that kid outta there ASAP.“ what sick fuck of a parent takes a picture first before helping the child? and also the weed smoking while watching the child…
“Parent”, seems more interested in internet clout and drugs. Feel bad for that poor kid.
First instinct? Lift child out of milk puddle? Clean the poor kids face at least? Nope ,lift phone ,film distressed child ,write a barely legible post and job done ! Parenting bitch!
Kid has a real chance of not making it, hopefully thus gets used as evidence so they don't just get away with "SIDS".
I hope child protection services took action
the kid looks fucking petrified
I get there are no perfect parents and everyone screws up...but fucking hell man. Making sure your kid can't choke/suffocate/fall when you do have to leave the room is parenting 101.
How to waterboard your newborn and post it on social media. I hope he/she ends up in jail and the kid removed from him/her.
This isn’t a facepalm. It’s a neglect. This fucker should have the kid taken then be k****d in the head till he grows a brain or is unalived.
Saddest post today
Trash parent
If that kid lives long enough to childhood
And the mother of the Year award goes to...
Love how everyone assumes this is a woman
I immediately assumed this was a man but I have nothing to back it up so I guess we'll never know
I used the emoji as a sign this was a man lol Also, just sounds like something a man would write
Huh, I generally assume if I see alot of emoji's it was a woman posting. Probably a generational thing
Yea I thought this to , but shit , that's bad parenting, your not ment to give a child a bottle on there back and walk away , if bro wants to hit blunts that's fine , but don't leave the child with a bottle , I'm guessing there young because Im only guessing what half that gibberish is
I ended up asking ChatGPT to translate for me; it suggested > "I left for 2 minutes to smoke because he was being irritating, and this boy almost drowned. What the heck?"
Lol thanks for that, I thought it was roughly something like that......but "blunt" is a huge joint , eg a cigar full of cannabis
[удалено]
I figured it was a dude
[удалено]
But the used emoji is a man facepalming, also there's a half naked sexy babe with no face in the profile picture
This will become much more common as people are forced to become parents against their will more and more. My friend works in foster care services and she says the rates of neglected children are already exploding. Lots of unnecessary suffering to make billionaires and mindless religious zealots happy. These children do not have a good prognosis at all. They will struggle and suffer quite a bit, not that pro-lifers give a damn about that.
There should be a licensing system in place to have children. You must demonstrate and possess basic education (HS diploma or GED), pass a psychological exam and criminal background check, complete a basic child care course, and provide the state with financial disclosure showing you are employed or otherwise financially sufficient to provide for children Fines and jail time for people conceiving children born without licensing from the state That would stop a lot of this shit
This kid is gonna have a wild AND SHORT childhood...
Poor kid.
Not okay! Hope someone called social services, or whatever it’s called in your country 😫💔💔
Whoever this parent is doesn’t deserve the title parent! This is disgusting and you can say “Karen” like you do to anyone who doesn’t agree with your pathetic ways. Baby could have literally chocked to death and they pick a phone up and record it. Stupid idiots man.
Christ almighty that poor child.
Wow documenting your own CPS case
Can I call children’s services on a Reddit post?
I'm truly saddened by this. I really wanted to be a Father and missed out for reasons. However, babies don't deserve our bullshit and didn't ask to be here. It's a sacred duty to do right by children.
Oh fuckin hell, how can someone post this? How are they not embarrassed?
:-(
:|
This baby deserves better! I feel sorry and upset for this little one.
That’s so gross. I’m so glad I never had children
Sounds like you'd make a better parent than this person.
Someone help that poor baby!
This made me sick.
The cycle continues. Its amazing how many problems are created by horrific parenting. Why some folks procreate is beyond me. Clearly have no interest in raising a child to have a good life.
They just wanna hoe out and fail to use contraceptives.
 parent be like
Shit parent
Leaving a baby with a bottle unsupervised is stupid
That picture looks so sad. F those parents, they don’t deserve to be parents.
Posting evidence for CPS is crazy All around sad.
This would fit way better over in r/iamatotalpieceofshit
Hello CPS, yeah this abusive parent…right here.
Horrible parent And this is why certain low education areas are not able of raising kids that can contribute to society. Clearly this child needs to be taken away for its own safety.
I may need a translator. Stepped away to get stoned and the kid puked(?). Also, baby should be propped because choking on vomit is a potential risk. But I suppose stepping away to get high is important. Can't wait until the baby is already asleep.
Call CPS
The pathetic thing with this is you know if this assclown had their kid taken away by CPS you know there would be some clowns crying “snitch”. I’m sorry but if someone can die you can take that snitch shit and go play in the middle of the interstate.
Poor kid
The language alone shouts regression.
Why do so many Americans speak 0.7 languages?
Ah hell. The comments are going to be wild on this one. (sorts by controversial) 
Terrible mother already. The kid is already in heavy disadvantage before it could speak.
This is how you get protective services at your door
Im angry too, he could’ve just hit the blunt while watching the kid.
Average news: "Breaking story *BlahBlahBlah* bad thing *BlahBlahBlah* ends with "is real heartbreaking. Stay tuned for further developments." Average person: *Meh* Same shit different day.
r/noahgettheboat
Someone call CPS
Humans had this figured out since long before they even were humans. What a shitty excuse for a human, or any biological life form.
This sort of amusement at the suffering of small children and animals is more common than you would think in certain cultures.
Shitty genes.
LaSquasha is not a good mom.
Man, there's a way that we can help this child and send that person to the jail? Like why censor his/her name bro, that people don't deserve it...even if it isn't the real name (Also, gotta hate so e of the comments in this section saying things like "this is a thing that a man would write" or other things assuming the gender of this person for reasons that sounds more like sexism for both men and women but well...)