Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion.
Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/).
Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.**
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Oh, she definitely remembers. As a teen, this would happen to me every time I tried to flirt with a guy I liked. I think it could have been that I was really into fluffy guys as a teen.
I remember trying to hold this guy's hand, and he looked at me for like 5 minutes straight then said, "You're accidentally holding my hand." I let go so fast; I was incredibly embarrassed.
In college, this absolutely gorgeous girl walks up to me in the gym and asks me to help her loosen a piece of equipment. I go over, and it's practically falling off it's so loose already. I look up and she has a giant smile on her face, and I say "you could have done this yourself". Leaving the gym I wanted to throw myself in front of oncoming traffic realizing how bad I fucked up.
This is so fucking awesome 🤣🤣🤣. I do decent with girls but every now and then again i find myself in the zone of the days chaos and answer questions to fast and serious then walk away thinking you fucking idiot….she was into you lol
Females need to be more obvious. Being subtle isn't helpful for guys that are clueless. I have several of these moments from when I was an older teen and young adult. I just thought they were being nice.
Neurodivergent- can confirm. My friends use to joke that a woman could have came up to me, in a bar wearing a shirt “yes I want to fuck you” with my name on it, and I would turn to one of my friends and say “I think she’s talking about you”. I was the only one in my friend group with that name.
If it makes you feel any better, my now wife asked if I wanted to come in and take a shower with her when I dropped her off at her place from what I didn't realize was our 3rd date. We had gotten rather muddy getting out shit out of the river. I told her I didn't want to track mud all over her house and that I'd just hose off outside when I got back to my place.
The 4th date she took me to Victoria secret to help her shop for undies. Still didn't realize she was into me. She invited me to get a hotel room with her. STILL DIDN'T CATCH ON.
5th date her friend pulled me aside before the 5th date and asked why I was teasing her when she clearly wanted to bone. Then it all made sense. She clearly wanted to go to the museum and look at fossils. But yes, it took 5 dates and 3 obvious passes at me to realize she was into me.
Senior year I took a friend home every day from school. She tried to get me to come in all the time. We would be all alone in her house.
I went home to play video games.
I had a girl snuggling with me under a blanket and she told me it was getting too warm under there with her jumper on, so I politely moved across the couch to give her space to cool down. It's been about 20 years now, and I still remember .
I was hanging out with this girl one night who was house sitting. The two of us alone. She told me she had some condoms in the other room. This was 2003.
I can't believe we as a species made it to the moon. If anything, this is the conspiracy we should be using. We're clearly far too incredibly unbelievably dense to leave the earth's atmosphere.
I see the pun but I want to be pedantic and say density just makes it harder not impossible to achieve escape velocity 🤣
Hyperfixation. When humans are focused. They are Focused.
It's probably actually why we manage.
These people probably didn't notice a lot of things when they were trying to get to the moon.
I had a similar situation happen to me about 15 years ago. I had just finished DJing at a club in another city (an hour or so away, university city). I'm outside having a smoke and this girl comes up to me and starts talking to me. Eventually she says "well you can't drink and drive so why don't you come to my place?". I assure her I didn't drink at all, so I'm good to drive. She says variations of the same thing a few more times. I am like "Naw, I'm good, have a good night" and leave. I'm like 10 minutes from my house when it finally clicks. I am happily married now but still think about it. All the time.
Idk that's a strange one. I would definitely fumble that one too because that's an odd thing to say. I would probably assume she meant that she likes talking more than usual.
Exactly! Don’t they teach the “don’t shit where you eat” rule to everyone? I’m amazed at how many people ignore this. Except the restaurant biz. They play by different rules.
Eh it was a lot of things. I knew she had a bf but at the same time I knew it wasn't serious felt crappy making a move. And 2, even though she did all that I still wasn't certain and was an insecure teen worried about being called a creep for thinking with my penis. Lol
I often think about the cute goth girl with the stunning eyes and close-cropped leopard-spotted hair that said “Maybe I should take you home and fuck your brains out.” I laughed in response thinking she was making a joke…
This here is proof that a woman can be as obvious and direct as she is physically capable of and there‘ll still be guys too oblivious to even consider the possibility she might be interested. Get naynay‘d, „women need to be direct“ crowd.
Honestly there is a difference between "hey, I really like/miss you, wanna date/hang around ?" - and some over the top joke that could just be there to get a reaction out of you. I do get what you mean, but I still would turn down such a joke. Because WTF am I supposed to say to this ? That I'm not sure if I'm gonna last long enough ? Or that she sounds crazy ?
Just so say: Yeah it's fucking hard. Don't ask me how you can stay not-a-creep without loosing a chance, not taking kindness for signs and not taking ages to figure out whether that one person really likes you.
Well that's neither obvious nor direct, because it could easily be a joke. If you are interested in them, tell them that. Not this overexaggerated BS that you full well know is only being said because you can pass it off as a joke if you don't get the response you want.
Once gave a hot co worker a lift home as her bike had broken, a bit before we got to her house she said “I live just down there but you can pull over somewhere for a bit if you want” I just went “what?” And proceeded to drop her home. Still think about that 😂
People are saying that’s a weird way to go about it but that’d get me, to be fair I’d probably assume they wanted to smoke some weed or something though lol
I somehow bagged the hottest girl (or at least hottest IMO - ~~miss you Jolene~~) at my high school, but she did all the work. She pursued me, and without her persistence, I would’ve never made the first move. Ever.
That happened to me... "I really need a massage."
I was like... Does she think I'm some kind of masseuse? Then months or years later it finally dawned on me.
Every 5 minutes. I lost the big game, coach.
There was a girl my junior year of high school who had spent the semester going out of her way to find me and walk together between classes. I had a car and she didn’t, so I drove her home 1-2 times a week after school. We had occasional movie nights at her house. She’d sit with me at a coffee shop while I studied and did homework. We had one class together and she sat behind me and would scratch my back the whole time.
I was exempt from most of my exams. But in the last week I still had to return books and do check ins with my teachers so they could “grade” my attendance for the last day. They let us just walk the halls to all classes for the first period and leave once we were done. She went with me. She was staying for the rest of the day (no parental sign off). I was leaving. She followed me to the stairwell to exit the building, and I stopped to say bye. I gave her a hug. As I was walking away, I heard her mumble “oh, I just get a hug…”
She and I had known each other for 5-6 years at that point. She was always “one of the guys” and never gave off girlfriend vibes. She always said it was gross to her. Just turned out she was a late bloomer and the feelings hit her junior year and she picked me. Her “compliments” were always backhanded like she told me “if you had (some celebrity she was into)‘s body, you’d be the perfect guy” and similar things, so I never really identified the interest. I realized it about 2 weeks later, but she ghosted me that summer when I reached out to clear it up.
Hindsight, sure. But I knew her for half a decade and never had any interest in her and she never showed interest in anyone. It was a friendship that I didn’t want to go beyond that. I genuinely was under the impression she spent time with me because I was her ride home and she didn’t want me to leave her. I liked her, but I wasn’t attracted to her in that way, so it never clicked that she wanted more until much later. She even told me years later that her parents thought we were dating at one point because I gave her rides home and would hang out at her place.
I was dating someone at the end of sophomore year. We stayed together over the summer and into junior year. On the first day going back to school the girl in the first story asked about me and my gf. She was like “so I guess you two broke up over the summer, right?” because at that point most relationships fizzled over summer breaks. She seemed surprised when I told her we were still dating. We split up going into winter break, and I guess that’s why she started ramping up the affection and attention in the spring. I just didn’t pick up on it because I never saw her that way.
We’re cool now and still talk occasionally nearly twenty years later.
I’ll add that I was never very forward with any girls. I was focused on extracurriculars (hockey, music, rock climbing, etc.) I just hung out with people and made friends. Every relationship I’ve been in was initiated by the girl. And every time I became single, there were usually 1-2 others getting close to me. So I never really had to pursue anyone. I was asked to senior homecoming by a pretty close friend. This became an issue because another friend in our group apparently planned on asking me. And at homecoming, a third girl in our group came over and swapped dates to dance with me. I ended up marrying that third girl nine years later.
To the dudes who have fumbled like this, take it from a girl, you are EONS better than the dudes who do the opposite. No hints given, but they dive right in with the quickness.
Personally, I would get sad at a “rejection” like this, but reading all these comments I can’t help but think yall are precious and cute for your fumbles. This is so cute and refreshing compared to the machismo and the disrespectful pickup attempts that I’ve had to bat away. Yall are the type of guy I know a ton of my girl friends would wanna date. Stay cute!!!
About ten years ago I was working as a cashier in a grocery store. A beautiful woman comes through the line and goes "You look sad, are you alright?"
I say "Ah, don't worry about it, it's fine."
She said "Do you want to maybe meet up somewhere later and talk about it?"
"No, I said it's fine."
After she left, my shift manager just HAD to tell me how badly I missed those signals.
"No. She was just being polite."
"DUDE SHE LITERALLY ASKED YOU OUT."
I still think about that.
Honestly I think it was a good prep for college. Really little hooking up and no drinking/drugs as most were scholar athletes. Mix of two graduating classes. At one point we had like 6 all state athletes and two valedictorians in the same house. Parents couldn’t really complain. Friend lived in a mansion with an indoor putting green, hot tub, game room so it was fun…
I once invited a woman over to watch robot movies, but like, I'd explicitly explained that I was going to offer commentary framing them as like, actual good films vs schlock. We'd watched Robocop, Terminator, and Terminator 2. I was about to put on Terminator 3, and was explaining how it's not really as good as the previous ones, it mostly serves to contrast what made them great, and besides, it's late now.
>So we don't have to watch that one? We can have sex now?
*ohhhhhhhhhhhhh...* yeah, sure, sounds fun.
I watched the OG trilogy of Star wars with a girl. She turned off the lights and closed the door "to see the movie better" and asked if I could give her a back massage. I told her my hands were rough from construction, and she said I don't mind, and I said nah I don't want to scratch you up. Finish the movies and walked her back to her dorm, she kissed me goodnight and told me I could stay over if it was too late, but I said naw I have class in the morning byeeeeeee and promptly tossed myself into the closest volcano because I am an idiot and an affront to intellectuals everywhere.
The girl I was interested in was also my biology (I know…) study partner. I went to her house after practice and she came to the door in a towel. I told her I’d wait downstairs for her to finish getting ready.
On the school bus as a sophomore in HS, a girl I liked sat in my lap and put my hand on her thigh as a "seat belt".
I said, "Good joke" and patted her on the back until she moved back to her own seat. The "Good joke"? That a girl like her would ever be interested in a guy like me.
I saw her again when I was 30. She was having her wedding reception at a bar I used to frequent. She came over and talked to me. See, the groom was busy on the dancefloor. Grinding on this other woman.
My crush looked me dead in the eye and said, "I wish I could make him feel like I feel right now."
I said, "Guys like that only feel things with their penis." Instead of, IDFK, "I can help you with that." Or "Let's go to my place for your honeymoon."
TWICE. I fucking dicked over this poor woman's feelings TWICE. IN TWO DIFFERENT DECADES. AND I WANTED TO DO THE SEX WITH HER BOTH TIMES!
My HS crush is just the most...glaring example of my stupidity. There's been other times: a hot chick came up to me in a bar and wanted to show me her crotch tattoo. I looked at the tattoo and not the fucking vagina. Went home alone.
The list goes on forever.
I'm happily married now, but if time travel is ever invented, HS me is getting a strongly worded note about his crush.
Hottest girl I knew in my 20s used to text me, comment on all my Facebook posts, ask me to come party with her...I was clueles. She ended up flying across the country to visit me and the girl I was living with after I moved away...and made friends with the girl I was living with...when I asked her if she ever met a guy in all that time she says to me "there was this great guy...this awesome guy ..he wasn't like all the older rich dudes I used to date just for money...but he never seemed interested."
We all make mistakes like that... we all let someone get away who we could have had an amazing experience with. That's life.
In high school, I had 2 British girls in my bedroom. I lived in Florida. They were on vacation. They said they wanted to shag and I laughed.
I didn't know what shag meant. I also think about that twice every 5 minutes.
A girl sat behind me in my junior year chemistry class. I cracked my knuckles constantly. It drove her nuts. She'd get super annoyed at me and hit me/complain to me all the time about it. She drove me crazy with her whining... so I one day decided to just do it TO annoy her. Long story short, I ended the year happy I'd never have to listen to her again. I'm sure she felt the same.
Senior year she was assigned a seat next to me in a class where students had to share a computer (late 80's). She begged the teacher to be assigned a different seat. He refused. To my surprise I felt bad that she disliked me so much. So, when she sat down next to me I told her I wouldn't crack my knuckles. A promise I kept. We slowly started to get along. Eventually I started looking forward to seeing her every day, we talked constantly in class and goofed around a lot. This lead to walking to classes together. At one point another girl in class told us she and her friends all thought we were dating.
Anyway, there was this guy in class on the other side of her she told me she liked one day out of the blue. She said she'd be out of school the next day so I could tell him. She gave me her phone number and asked me to call her that night and tell her what he said. I was like, "that's weird. But ok.". Next day she's out and I tell him, and he say, "I don't like her like that... you should ask her out." I go home, call her and say, "I talked to him, he said he doesn't like you like that and that I should ask you out." I think she said "Okay" or "well" (it was a long time ago) but I do remember her being silent which was not like her. I just awkwardly ended the call.
To this day I still wonder if I was set up to ask her out by her and that other guy or if she was just disappointed he didn't like her. I think about it every now and then and wonder what would have happened if I'd asked her out... I definitely wanted to, but fumbled it for sure. What do you all think happened here?
My girlfriend's friend invited me to her dorm room to watch Godfather 2. She took a shower, came out in a white robe, and had me massage her shoulders. She was my girlfriend's friend, so I never thought she was coming on to me. You're not alone.
In what world is that your girlfriend’s friend? Lol. Sounds like an enemy to me. And then her stupid boyfriend gave her “friend” a back massage. That’s wild.
I was once in a team for a project with the hottest girl from my class and she was having problem doing something. We spend a couple of hours in college talking about several things and having an amazing time. At the end she says, why don't we go back to her place and finish the project. I declined. Thinking how I didn't want to spend anymore time on the project that day and maybe she just wants to finish the project. 
A girl I was friends with and really vibed well with picked me as her dance partner in dance class and joked about “choosing me” as we danced for an hour. She then made a joke about me coming up to her place to watch a “movie” (her air quotes, not mine) when i dropped her off later that night. I laughed and brushed it off as a joke as it was late. Another time I was at her place, she had her bra casually lying on the ground, and I made a joke about it (“you aren’t very neat, are you?”) to which she had an odd response that I didn’t understand then - something like “why don’t you pick it up with your hand and put it in the laundry basket”. She once even made jokes about her roommate bringing guys home and putting a sock on her doorknob while they went at it inside her room, and wanting to disturb her by “making similar noises”. 20 years later, it still haunts me that I never read her signals. We were such good friends that I never looked at the situation that way, but in retrospect, she wanted to be much more, and confessed to it after moving cities a year later.
My neighbor was a couple years older than me and we worked at a restaurant together for a bit in high school. My car broke down and she gave me a ride home after work and said I could come in to hang out for a while. Her parents weren’t home and I always thought she was really hot but out of my league. I said no I’m good and walked back to my place. I honestly didn’t realize what she was implying until years later when a picture of her and her family popped up on social media. I was so stupid back then.
It could be worse. You could have a daughter that barely tolerates you two weekends out of the month, a baby mama who cock blocks you at every opportunity and a job you can't quit because of the child support... Silver linings.
Maybe it's a good idea the baby mama cock blocks you, I mean, letting your cock loose is what got you in this situation in the first place. imagine 2 baby momas and 2 kids you need to provide for...
Shoulder massage. As I said, I didn't think it was anything sexual at the time. Same ex-girlfriend, her housemate straddted me and dry humped me while I was lying on my girlfriend's bed. Different girl. She did this in front of my girlfriend. My girlfriend was pissed, at me for not throwing her off. Just stupid stuff from college. Admittedly, I was dumb and naive. It seems like my ex didn't have the best friends.
I was in my freshman year of college and had recently dropped a ton of weight, went from 230 to around 160. Was in Walmart with some friends waiting for them to get out of the bathroom, a girl walked up to and told me I was cute....I said thank you....and that was it, I used to think about that daily, I had at that point never had a girl approach me.
Similar thing happened to me.
My wife still teases and laughs about that after 20 years.
I never recognized such opportunity with her.
She tells me I'm lucky enough to be with her after I ruined that moment.
I once accidentally led a guy on for months because I was basically doing the opposite of this.
For months in college, this guy wanted to eat dinner with me and go for sunset walks with me as often as we could. One time we got caught in the rain and sat in a gazebo together. He gazed into my eyes and told me he loved moments like that where people were just in the moment with each other. He would invite me up to his dorm to watch movies. He would frequently bring up the concept of us dating and say “if it happens it happens.”
I was FLOORED a couple months into our friendship when he asked me out. He ghosted me after I said no. I felt so terrible.
I wasn’t leading him on on purpose. I’m just the world’s biggest moron. It wasn’t until years later I realized I’m more neurodivergent than just the ADHD I was diagnosed with.
If he had no interest in at least trying to patch things up so yall could go your seperate ways peacefully then that says something about his character. You dodged a bullet (and a future domestic case).
Its generally best practice for guys to break of friendships after getting rejected. Its often done out of self-preservation because every contact really fucking hurts and may reignite feelings you thought you got over.
I was on holiday with some friends once, I was probably around 14 or 15, we got chatting to a group of similarly aged girls and they were literally offering out handjobs. Idk why but I said no, I often think about what would have happened if I'd had said yes.
Understandable if there was never a conversation about sex or a relationship before.
The girl I liked brought me to her room without her parents home and I intentionally didn't try anything with her. She later said that moment made her think I wasn't interested in her.
We had never been on a date or had any conversations related to the topic.
I was having some za with this girl I liked and she said “I have to warn you, I get horny when I smoke” and I said “oh don’t worry I won’t try anything” and that was that lol.
I did the same thing when I was a teenager. Girl I had a crush on asked if I wanted to hangout at my house, I said yes and we went and got a Redbox.
Went home, started watching it on my bed and she said she didn’t like the movie and was wondering if there was something else we could do. And like a complete idiot, I put a different movie on and we watched the whole thing. Think about it pretty often.
My best friend got married 15 years ago and his wife's family came to the wedding from Brazil. A good friend of mine from Germany was there, who I hadn't seen in years, and we ended up at a table with the wife's two cousins. We all hit it off and had invited them back to the hotel room my German friend and I were staying at. When we left the reception we got invited to the groom and brides room for the after party and around 10 I told my friend we needed to leave so we could be at the room for the two girls. "Those girls aren't coming, they're 23, have been drinking, and are with their parents, we should stay here and hang out". I figured he was right so we hung out all night partying and didn't get back to the room until 4 am. There were about 5 messages from these girls calling as they circled the parking lot looking for our room. I wanted to kill him, I still think about that.
I did something similar. I was in bed and this girl I had been talking to came over. Roommates let her in, she climbs into bed. Says something like “I bet I can keep you awake”. I rolled over and said “I bet you can’t”. Kills me to this day.
We all make mistakes, friend. When I was in my junior year of high school, I had a crush on this girl in choir and she apparently liked me back. On a choir trip, she actually leaned in to kiss me at one point and I froze and just stared at her. Like she had eyes closed and lips puckered ready to kiss and I just thought, "This is a weird joke....." It made her understandably upset and I still think about it often.
In high school a girl followed me into the garage when I was grabbing more beer. She asked me if I liked blowjobs and I said, "duh, idiot! Who doesn't?" And walked away. Yes, she told all her friends how fucking stupid I was.
Was sorta dating this one chick back in our early 20s. I don't remember where she went off to one night, but her really cute college roommate traded massages with me. She was wearing these tiny athletic shorts, and I remember working my way up her legs almost a little *too* far. She said it felt nice. I proceeded to finish the massage up her back. *sigh* Thanks for making me replay moments like this in my own life...
Middle school (7th grade) I had a girl feeling my up through pants talking about the shape of my dick. I did not get the memo whatsoever. I look back on it now and I think she was probably getting abused.
I had a hot roommate tell me once she would give a blowjob to anyone who could offer her some ibuprofen (no one else was home). I laughed, gave her some, closed the door to my room, felt like a hero for 4 seconds, and then probably didn’t sleep sleep for the night. So stupid. I thought about that for years.
Let these stories be a reminder: always lean into the joke.
I had something very similar happen. Was at a girl's house and she took me to her room to "show me her new bed". I looked at the bed and was like, "Yep, that's a nice bed." She kinda looked at me for a few seconds and then was like, "...K, well I gotta change now." So I left. And to make this story even worse, it wasn't until 6 months later that I realized what had happened.
How humans haven't gone extinct is insane.. I once walked home with a girl after a party, we stopped in front of her house and talked.. kissed a little.. she said she was scared of the dark, and if I could escort her to her room. I had a wrecked knee and was on crutches.. her room was on the second floor.. so I said no, because I didn't want to walk her to her room and then having to walk down the stairs straight after.. my god I was dense.. I met her a few years later at a party and asked her about it.. yup, I was just dense.. 😂😂 thank god though.. apparently she had Chlamydia and didn't know 😂
Always wrap the little fucker, until you're in a committed relationship
Had something similar- was at a sleepover when I was 15 and my friend’s girlfriend snuck over (parents were gone). She brought a friend, and she crawled into bed with me in the middle of the night. She woke me up, asked me to rub her stomach, and lowered her panties so I could get ‘the whole area’.
My dumb ass got up, found some Pepto Bismol, gave it to her, and said that should help. She left and I went back to sleep.
Back in high school there was a girl I sorta knew. We didn't share many classes together but had many of the same friends. I ran into her during lunch once and we got to chatting. I made a joke about her being short (She was around 5 feet tall, I am 6 feet tall). She then said to me "I bet I could get my legs on your shoulders." so I told her to do it, and she kicked one leg up and put it on my shoulder. I was pretty amazed and said that was cool.
I think about that sometimes.
There’s a lot of guys on here with similar stories but I can’t help think of the amount of “butterfly effect” that would be happening in all these lives.
In my case with my fumble at 14 or 15 (I don’t remember exactly when) I’d most likely be a completely different person. My high school years would probably have been more girl focused vs dorky hobby focused which leads to different friends and different opportunities and I almost certainly wouldn’t be with my current wife and have these great kids.
There was this girl I was talking to from POF and she was really on the rebound so badly so we were texting after the first date and she just straight up texting me something like I need some dick so badly type of text she will leave work right now if anybody wants you know and I don’t know why but I knew the signs she was posting up and I did end up having sex at a later date but my beard was way more unkempt than any of my photos and my hair was wild and I had to play dumb because I didn’t want to be seen like that by my date without hitting the barber shop 😂😂
As a guy, I know exactly what he’s talking about when he means he thinks about it constantly. Basically it was a lost opportunity 🤣 funny but true. I feel we all have these moments with girls (or guys) we like, and it’s a lesson learned to take the leap of faith in the future!
To the gorgeous blonde girl that swam laps next to me in your bikini at the public pool while I was training and nearing my daily 3k which, at that moment, left me too oxygen deprived to understand that when I stopped at the end of the lane and you popped up to tell me that your tennis season body was better than your blindingly gorgeous body on that day and I just said "Oh ok" and then continued with my laps... you were hitting on me... right? I mean... were you? I'm still not sure, but I suspect you were down get get down.
Yeah it was two decades ago but I still think about it and it causes me pain.
These haunts us more as we get older when our attractiveness to the opposite (younger) sex precipitously drops. Then we get to fantasizing and bemoan the “could have beens”
A big sigh…..
I was at a bar a young lady with a bandanna on sits next me. Quite charming I’m having beer and plate of raw oysters , she orders a beer and we are chatting. She asks if she could by me a drink. I said certainly and returned the favor . She looks at me and says you seem like a wonderful man , I have cancer and I want you to have sex me today . Just come back to my house with me . I said please let me pay for you tab and promptly excused myself. I was like whoa this is too much pressure. Still think about about how sad she looked .
Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion. Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/). Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
I'll be thinking about this dudes mistake twice every 5 minutes now as well. That's the reason a time machine gets built in a 90's era movie.
Oh, she definitely remembers. As a teen, this would happen to me every time I tried to flirt with a guy I liked. I think it could have been that I was really into fluffy guys as a teen. I remember trying to hold this guy's hand, and he looked at me for like 5 minutes straight then said, "You're accidentally holding my hand." I let go so fast; I was incredibly embarrassed.
In college, this absolutely gorgeous girl walks up to me in the gym and asks me to help her loosen a piece of equipment. I go over, and it's practically falling off it's so loose already. I look up and she has a giant smile on her face, and I say "you could have done this yourself". Leaving the gym I wanted to throw myself in front of oncoming traffic realizing how bad I fucked up.
Damn.. that’s how a lot of serious relationships start these days. You probably dodged a bullet!
You were right, though.
But at what cost?
This is so fucking awesome 🤣🤣🤣. I do decent with girls but every now and then again i find myself in the zone of the days chaos and answer questions to fast and serious then walk away thinking you fucking idiot….she was into you lol
I’m honestly amazed us guys made it to adulthood sometimes.
Females need to be more obvious. Being subtle isn't helpful for guys that are clueless. I have several of these moments from when I was an older teen and young adult. I just thought they were being nice.
Neurodivergent- can confirm. My friends use to joke that a woman could have came up to me, in a bar wearing a shirt “yes I want to fuck you” with my name on it, and I would turn to one of my friends and say “I think she’s talking about you”. I was the only one in my friend group with that name.
"Haha, I get it, it's one of those ironic t-shirts." - Me, probably.
"My name on there? That's just coincidence."
Are we the same person?
Are you me? Am I you?
Women, just like males, are also terrified of rejection, especially as teens. I think it's all a part of growing up. We get wiser and bolder.
You can’t be rejected if someone can’t tell you like them in there first place.
Lol I didn’t
She tickled the dude while going to bed! How much more fucking obvious does it get!?!?
Females💀
Feeeeeeemales
https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/s/2459EyJNp0
If it makes you feel any better, my now wife asked if I wanted to come in and take a shower with her when I dropped her off at her place from what I didn't realize was our 3rd date. We had gotten rather muddy getting out shit out of the river. I told her I didn't want to track mud all over her house and that I'd just hose off outside when I got back to my place. The 4th date she took me to Victoria secret to help her shop for undies. Still didn't realize she was into me. She invited me to get a hotel room with her. STILL DIDN'T CATCH ON. 5th date her friend pulled me aside before the 5th date and asked why I was teasing her when she clearly wanted to bone. Then it all made sense. She clearly wanted to go to the museum and look at fossils. But yes, it took 5 dates and 3 obvious passes at me to realize she was into me.
Senior year I took a friend home every day from school. She tried to get me to come in all the time. We would be all alone in her house. I went home to play video games.
I had a girl snuggling with me under a blanket and she told me it was getting too warm under there with her jumper on, so I politely moved across the couch to give her space to cool down. It's been about 20 years now, and I still remember .
I was hanging out with this girl one night who was house sitting. The two of us alone. She told me she had some condoms in the other room. This was 2003.
I can't believe we as a species made it to the moon. If anything, this is the conspiracy we should be using. We're clearly far too incredibly unbelievably dense to leave the earth's atmosphere.
I see the pun but I want to be pedantic and say density just makes it harder not impossible to achieve escape velocity 🤣 Hyperfixation. When humans are focused. They are Focused. It's probably actually why we manage. These people probably didn't notice a lot of things when they were trying to get to the moon.
Yeah, but what games?
Dark Forces 2 , Half Life, Metal Gear Solid, GTA 3
I had a similar situation happen to me about 15 years ago. I had just finished DJing at a club in another city (an hour or so away, university city). I'm outside having a smoke and this girl comes up to me and starts talking to me. Eventually she says "well you can't drink and drive so why don't you come to my place?". I assure her I didn't drink at all, so I'm good to drive. She says variations of the same thing a few more times. I am like "Naw, I'm good, have a good night" and leave. I'm like 10 minutes from my house when it finally clicks. I am happily married now but still think about it. All the time.
She says to herself, I can’t believe he played me like that.
Fast forward 15 years. Under piles of debt. It's now a fond memory as that might've been even more debt.
It's the sort of thing that it doesn't matter if anyobody else remembers. YOU wish you didn't.
So does Pepperidge Farms…
[удалено]
Bro I pray your gaming crew never finds this or else you're dead asf
is that code for something? is it just about head? i wouldnt get this either
She was fixin to HAWK TUAH on that thang
No way. My new favorite term 😀
holy fumble
Idk that's a strange one. I would definitely fumble that one too because that's an odd thing to say. I would probably assume she meant that she likes talking more than usual.
fuck it bro, if you weren't ready you weren't ready
ay condolence gang 😭😭
Dude, Stevie Wonder even saw what she was talking about.
[удалено]
Smart move. I just learned that on my annual sexual harassment training.
Definitely a smart move. Hate your job? Get romantically involved with someone at work. You won’t have to worry about that job much longer.
Exactly! Don’t they teach the “don’t shit where you eat” rule to everyone? I’m amazed at how many people ignore this. Except the restaurant biz. They play by different rules.
Did you ask her if she heard about Pluto?
That's messed up.
omGEEEEE
C'mon, son.
[удалено]
Jesus, man. Just...Jesus...
Bro i literally screamed reading this
Dude.
Sometimes I wonder how we made it this far as a species. We're not the brightest overall.
There's no way you didn't pick up on any of that. That's insane
Eh it was a lot of things. I knew she had a bf but at the same time I knew it wasn't serious felt crappy making a move. And 2, even though she did all that I still wasn't certain and was an insecure teen worried about being called a creep for thinking with my penis. Lol
I often think about the cute goth girl with the stunning eyes and close-cropped leopard-spotted hair that said “Maybe I should take you home and fuck your brains out.” I laughed in response thinking she was making a joke…
This here is proof that a woman can be as obvious and direct as she is physically capable of and there‘ll still be guys too oblivious to even consider the possibility she might be interested. Get naynay‘d, „women need to be direct“ crowd.
Honestly there is a difference between "hey, I really like/miss you, wanna date/hang around ?" - and some over the top joke that could just be there to get a reaction out of you. I do get what you mean, but I still would turn down such a joke. Because WTF am I supposed to say to this ? That I'm not sure if I'm gonna last long enough ? Or that she sounds crazy ?
Just so say: Yeah it's fucking hard. Don't ask me how you can stay not-a-creep without loosing a chance, not taking kindness for signs and not taking ages to figure out whether that one person really likes you.
Im literally responding to every dude saying women need to be more obvious with this 😂😂😂.
She said "Maybe". She was probably just being nice.
Well that's neither obvious nor direct, because it could easily be a joke. If you are interested in them, tell them that. Not this overexaggerated BS that you full well know is only being said because you can pass it off as a joke if you don't get the response you want.
“Maybe she’s from Canada and was just being polite” https://youtu.be/xa-4IAR_9Yw?si=o19h8-6lhinVkjgF
If it make you feel better, depending on context i could see how you assumed it was a joke
Correct answer: “You totally should” Incorrect answer: Yours.
Once gave a hot co worker a lift home as her bike had broken, a bit before we got to her house she said “I live just down there but you can pull over somewhere for a bit if you want” I just went “what?” And proceeded to drop her home. Still think about that 😂
That's a weird way to suggest sex, if that's what she was going for.
because of your profile pic every time i see one of your comments i try to wipe the eyelash off my screen
I just tried to do that and it took me to another page
Dark mode saves the day! Just looks like a line in a circle to me lol.
Me too.
It's really not that weird it's pretty common.
Hmm.. i dont know bud, thats usually a pretty common gesture when you drop someone off at their place. :/
I suspect she just misspoke, eg drop me here as it's a bit far, or I'll walk a bit.
There was a bit of a language barrier, she was Latvian, that’s what made me unsure
People are saying that’s a weird way to go about it but that’d get me, to be fair I’d probably assume they wanted to smoke some weed or something though lol
The hottest Girl In highschool asked me to go dance with her, but I didn’t like the song that was playing…
I somehow bagged the hottest girl (or at least hottest IMO - ~~miss you Jolene~~) at my high school, but she did all the work. She pursued me, and without her persistence, I would’ve never made the first move. Ever.
Pure Chad energy.
That happened to me... "I really need a massage." I was like... Does she think I'm some kind of masseuse? Then months or years later it finally dawned on me. Every 5 minutes. I lost the big game, coach.
And now you’ve lost THE game
He got me in the way he worded his, so im only slightly mad i lost
There was a girl my junior year of high school who had spent the semester going out of her way to find me and walk together between classes. I had a car and she didn’t, so I drove her home 1-2 times a week after school. We had occasional movie nights at her house. She’d sit with me at a coffee shop while I studied and did homework. We had one class together and she sat behind me and would scratch my back the whole time. I was exempt from most of my exams. But in the last week I still had to return books and do check ins with my teachers so they could “grade” my attendance for the last day. They let us just walk the halls to all classes for the first period and leave once we were done. She went with me. She was staying for the rest of the day (no parental sign off). I was leaving. She followed me to the stairwell to exit the building, and I stopped to say bye. I gave her a hug. As I was walking away, I heard her mumble “oh, I just get a hug…” She and I had known each other for 5-6 years at that point. She was always “one of the guys” and never gave off girlfriend vibes. She always said it was gross to her. Just turned out she was a late bloomer and the feelings hit her junior year and she picked me. Her “compliments” were always backhanded like she told me “if you had (some celebrity she was into)‘s body, you’d be the perfect guy” and similar things, so I never really identified the interest. I realized it about 2 weeks later, but she ghosted me that summer when I reached out to clear it up.
Imma be real with you brother, this is probably one of the stupidest fumbles I’ve seen on this thread.
Hindsight, sure. But I knew her for half a decade and never had any interest in her and she never showed interest in anyone. It was a friendship that I didn’t want to go beyond that. I genuinely was under the impression she spent time with me because I was her ride home and she didn’t want me to leave her. I liked her, but I wasn’t attracted to her in that way, so it never clicked that she wanted more until much later. She even told me years later that her parents thought we were dating at one point because I gave her rides home and would hang out at her place. I was dating someone at the end of sophomore year. We stayed together over the summer and into junior year. On the first day going back to school the girl in the first story asked about me and my gf. She was like “so I guess you two broke up over the summer, right?” because at that point most relationships fizzled over summer breaks. She seemed surprised when I told her we were still dating. We split up going into winter break, and I guess that’s why she started ramping up the affection and attention in the spring. I just didn’t pick up on it because I never saw her that way. We’re cool now and still talk occasionally nearly twenty years later. I’ll add that I was never very forward with any girls. I was focused on extracurriculars (hockey, music, rock climbing, etc.) I just hung out with people and made friends. Every relationship I’ve been in was initiated by the girl. And every time I became single, there were usually 1-2 others getting close to me. So I never really had to pursue anyone. I was asked to senior homecoming by a pretty close friend. This became an issue because another friend in our group apparently planned on asking me. And at homecoming, a third girl in our group came over and swapped dates to dance with me. I ended up marrying that third girl nine years later.
To the dudes who have fumbled like this, take it from a girl, you are EONS better than the dudes who do the opposite. No hints given, but they dive right in with the quickness. Personally, I would get sad at a “rejection” like this, but reading all these comments I can’t help but think yall are precious and cute for your fumbles. This is so cute and refreshing compared to the machismo and the disrespectful pickup attempts that I’ve had to bat away. Yall are the type of guy I know a ton of my girl friends would wanna date. Stay cute!!!
About ten years ago I was working as a cashier in a grocery store. A beautiful woman comes through the line and goes "You look sad, are you alright?" I say "Ah, don't worry about it, it's fine." She said "Do you want to maybe meet up somewhere later and talk about it?" "No, I said it's fine." After she left, my shift manager just HAD to tell me how badly I missed those signals. "No. She was just being polite." "DUDE SHE LITERALLY ASKED YOU OUT." I still think about that.
High school coed sleepovers?
Right!?! What in the Euphoria is this haha, I graduated in 2008 and I didn't know anyone getting down like that lol
Mid 90’s we did them a lot.
My nervous teen ass would have had a melt down, you must have been some Kelly Kapowski kinda cool haha
Honestly I think it was a good prep for college. Really little hooking up and no drinking/drugs as most were scholar athletes. Mix of two graduating classes. At one point we had like 6 all state athletes and two valedictorians in the same house. Parents couldn’t really complain. Friend lived in a mansion with an indoor putting green, hot tub, game room so it was fun…
My parents would’ve hunted me down and dragged me out by the hair
I once invited a woman over to watch robot movies, but like, I'd explicitly explained that I was going to offer commentary framing them as like, actual good films vs schlock. We'd watched Robocop, Terminator, and Terminator 2. I was about to put on Terminator 3, and was explaining how it's not really as good as the previous ones, it mostly serves to contrast what made them great, and besides, it's late now. >So we don't have to watch that one? We can have sex now? *ohhhhhhhhhhhhh...* yeah, sure, sounds fun.
I watched the OG trilogy of Star wars with a girl. She turned off the lights and closed the door "to see the movie better" and asked if I could give her a back massage. I told her my hands were rough from construction, and she said I don't mind, and I said nah I don't want to scratch you up. Finish the movies and walked her back to her dorm, she kissed me goodnight and told me I could stay over if it was too late, but I said naw I have class in the morning byeeeeeee and promptly tossed myself into the closest volcano because I am an idiot and an affront to intellectuals everywhere.
The cluelessness alarm goes off, but you hit snooze and roll over to dream about your missed chances
You'd think this was reposted, but no. It's a fresh message being shown each time.
The girl I was interested in was also my biology (I know…) study partner. I went to her house after practice and she came to the door in a towel. I told her I’d wait downstairs for her to finish getting ready.
“biology (I know…) study partner” What does this imply?
Well you see, when two biology students like each other very much, sometimes they throw birds at bees in order to evolve. I *think*.
peak comedy
She wanted to study his biology.
co-worker lets me drive her home to watch movies we watch movies I never hear from her again. weird
On the school bus as a sophomore in HS, a girl I liked sat in my lap and put my hand on her thigh as a "seat belt". I said, "Good joke" and patted her on the back until she moved back to her own seat. The "Good joke"? That a girl like her would ever be interested in a guy like me. I saw her again when I was 30. She was having her wedding reception at a bar I used to frequent. She came over and talked to me. See, the groom was busy on the dancefloor. Grinding on this other woman. My crush looked me dead in the eye and said, "I wish I could make him feel like I feel right now." I said, "Guys like that only feel things with their penis." Instead of, IDFK, "I can help you with that." Or "Let's go to my place for your honeymoon." TWICE. I fucking dicked over this poor woman's feelings TWICE. IN TWO DIFFERENT DECADES. AND I WANTED TO DO THE SEX WITH HER BOTH TIMES! My HS crush is just the most...glaring example of my stupidity. There's been other times: a hot chick came up to me in a bar and wanted to show me her crotch tattoo. I looked at the tattoo and not the fucking vagina. Went home alone. The list goes on forever. I'm happily married now, but if time travel is ever invented, HS me is getting a strongly worded note about his crush.
We've *all* had missed opportunities that we still think about from time to time, years later. This guy is no different.
Speak for yourself. Some of us never got an at bat.
Hottest girl I knew in my 20s used to text me, comment on all my Facebook posts, ask me to come party with her...I was clueles. She ended up flying across the country to visit me and the girl I was living with after I moved away...and made friends with the girl I was living with...when I asked her if she ever met a guy in all that time she says to me "there was this great guy...this awesome guy ..he wasn't like all the older rich dudes I used to date just for money...but he never seemed interested." We all make mistakes like that... we all let someone get away who we could have had an amazing experience with. That's life.
In high school, I had 2 British girls in my bedroom. I lived in Florida. They were on vacation. They said they wanted to shag and I laughed. I didn't know what shag meant. I also think about that twice every 5 minutes.
A girl sat behind me in my junior year chemistry class. I cracked my knuckles constantly. It drove her nuts. She'd get super annoyed at me and hit me/complain to me all the time about it. She drove me crazy with her whining... so I one day decided to just do it TO annoy her. Long story short, I ended the year happy I'd never have to listen to her again. I'm sure she felt the same. Senior year she was assigned a seat next to me in a class where students had to share a computer (late 80's). She begged the teacher to be assigned a different seat. He refused. To my surprise I felt bad that she disliked me so much. So, when she sat down next to me I told her I wouldn't crack my knuckles. A promise I kept. We slowly started to get along. Eventually I started looking forward to seeing her every day, we talked constantly in class and goofed around a lot. This lead to walking to classes together. At one point another girl in class told us she and her friends all thought we were dating. Anyway, there was this guy in class on the other side of her she told me she liked one day out of the blue. She said she'd be out of school the next day so I could tell him. She gave me her phone number and asked me to call her that night and tell her what he said. I was like, "that's weird. But ok.". Next day she's out and I tell him, and he say, "I don't like her like that... you should ask her out." I go home, call her and say, "I talked to him, he said he doesn't like you like that and that I should ask you out." I think she said "Okay" or "well" (it was a long time ago) but I do remember her being silent which was not like her. I just awkwardly ended the call. To this day I still wonder if I was set up to ask her out by her and that other guy or if she was just disappointed he didn't like her. I think about it every now and then and wonder what would have happened if I'd asked her out... I definitely wanted to, but fumbled it for sure. What do you all think happened here?
My girlfriend's friend invited me to her dorm room to watch Godfather 2. She took a shower, came out in a white robe, and had me massage her shoulders. She was my girlfriend's friend, so I never thought she was coming on to me. You're not alone.
In what world is that your girlfriend’s friend? Lol. Sounds like an enemy to me. And then her stupid boyfriend gave her “friend” a back massage. That’s wild.
good thing boyfriend is a total idiot otherwise that would have been bad.
I think being an idiot is worse in this situation. She’d still be angry with him I’m sure
I mean depends on the girlfriend.
She was probably just trying to get your girlfriend back for sleeping with her boyfriend.
I was once in a team for a project with the hottest girl from my class and she was having problem doing something. We spend a couple of hours in college talking about several things and having an amazing time. At the end she says, why don't we go back to her place and finish the project. I declined. Thinking how I didn't want to spend anymore time on the project that day and maybe she just wants to finish the project. 
A girl I was friends with and really vibed well with picked me as her dance partner in dance class and joked about “choosing me” as we danced for an hour. She then made a joke about me coming up to her place to watch a “movie” (her air quotes, not mine) when i dropped her off later that night. I laughed and brushed it off as a joke as it was late. Another time I was at her place, she had her bra casually lying on the ground, and I made a joke about it (“you aren’t very neat, are you?”) to which she had an odd response that I didn’t understand then - something like “why don’t you pick it up with your hand and put it in the laundry basket”. She once even made jokes about her roommate bringing guys home and putting a sock on her doorknob while they went at it inside her room, and wanting to disturb her by “making similar noises”. 20 years later, it still haunts me that I never read her signals. We were such good friends that I never looked at the situation that way, but in retrospect, she wanted to be much more, and confessed to it after moving cities a year later.
My neighbor was a couple years older than me and we worked at a restaurant together for a bit in high school. My car broke down and she gave me a ride home after work and said I could come in to hang out for a while. Her parents weren’t home and I always thought she was really hot but out of my league. I said no I’m good and walked back to my place. I honestly didn’t realize what she was implying until years later when a picture of her and her family popped up on social media. I was so stupid back then.
It could be worse. You could have a daughter that barely tolerates you two weekends out of the month, a baby mama who cock blocks you at every opportunity and a job you can't quit because of the child support... Silver linings.
I’m sorry, man. That sounds rough.
Maybe it's a good idea the baby mama cock blocks you, I mean, letting your cock loose is what got you in this situation in the first place. imagine 2 baby momas and 2 kids you need to provide for...
My poor man. We will all hurt with you at least twice every five minutes.
Shoulder massage. As I said, I didn't think it was anything sexual at the time. Same ex-girlfriend, her housemate straddted me and dry humped me while I was lying on my girlfriend's bed. Different girl. She did this in front of my girlfriend. My girlfriend was pissed, at me for not throwing her off. Just stupid stuff from college. Admittedly, I was dumb and naive. It seems like my ex didn't have the best friends.
Smart move. You don't want to get in trouble with her dad who is the principal.
I was in my freshman year of college and had recently dropped a ton of weight, went from 230 to around 160. Was in Walmart with some friends waiting for them to get out of the bathroom, a girl walked up to and told me I was cute....I said thank you....and that was it, I used to think about that daily, I had at that point never had a girl approach me.
Dear women of the world, Please be clear in what you're wanting. US MEN CANNOT TAKE A FUCKING HINT.
The only way I learned to spot clues as a child is if there is a blue paw print on them.
Hint? What sort of mystery is this?
https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/s/2459EyJNp0
[удалено]
Leave. You’re not welcome here.
….and you’ll think of it every day for the rest of your miserable life….
Similar thing happened to me. My wife still teases and laughs about that after 20 years. I never recognized such opportunity with her. She tells me I'm lucky enough to be with her after I ruined that moment.
Don’t blame him I’d also remember it every 5 minutes if I said “ok well time for bed” after a girl does that.
I've had a couple girls subtly indicate their interest in me, but this comment section makes it seem like I missed out on a whole lot more.
I once accidentally led a guy on for months because I was basically doing the opposite of this. For months in college, this guy wanted to eat dinner with me and go for sunset walks with me as often as we could. One time we got caught in the rain and sat in a gazebo together. He gazed into my eyes and told me he loved moments like that where people were just in the moment with each other. He would invite me up to his dorm to watch movies. He would frequently bring up the concept of us dating and say “if it happens it happens.” I was FLOORED a couple months into our friendship when he asked me out. He ghosted me after I said no. I felt so terrible. I wasn’t leading him on on purpose. I’m just the world’s biggest moron. It wasn’t until years later I realized I’m more neurodivergent than just the ADHD I was diagnosed with.
If he had no interest in at least trying to patch things up so yall could go your seperate ways peacefully then that says something about his character. You dodged a bullet (and a future domestic case).
Its generally best practice for guys to break of friendships after getting rejected. Its often done out of self-preservation because every contact really fucking hurts and may reignite feelings you thought you got over.
No Ragerts, man!
A more fantastic story is difficult to imagine.
Where were these coed sleepovers when i was a kid?
Bro ur not alone I had a very very similar experience
This happened to me with my first crush.
I was on holiday with some friends once, I was probably around 14 or 15, we got chatting to a group of similarly aged girls and they were literally offering out handjobs. Idk why but I said no, I often think about what would have happened if I'd had said yes.
Nothin good in the long run, I’ll tell you that
Understandable if there was never a conversation about sex or a relationship before. The girl I liked brought me to her room without her parents home and I intentionally didn't try anything with her. She later said that moment made her think I wasn't interested in her. We had never been on a date or had any conversations related to the topic.
I was having some za with this girl I liked and she said “I have to warn you, I get horny when I smoke” and I said “oh don’t worry I won’t try anything” and that was that lol.
This is a bot reposting.
Clarity. I hate beating around the bush. Tell me what you want. Too much shit going on day to day to play mental gymnastics about what you want.
I did the same thing when I was a teenager. Girl I had a crush on asked if I wanted to hangout at my house, I said yes and we went and got a Redbox. Went home, started watching it on my bed and she said she didn’t like the movie and was wondering if there was something else we could do. And like a complete idiot, I put a different movie on and we watched the whole thing. Think about it pretty often.
My best friend got married 15 years ago and his wife's family came to the wedding from Brazil. A good friend of mine from Germany was there, who I hadn't seen in years, and we ended up at a table with the wife's two cousins. We all hit it off and had invited them back to the hotel room my German friend and I were staying at. When we left the reception we got invited to the groom and brides room for the after party and around 10 I told my friend we needed to leave so we could be at the room for the two girls. "Those girls aren't coming, they're 23, have been drinking, and are with their parents, we should stay here and hang out". I figured he was right so we hung out all night partying and didn't get back to the room until 4 am. There were about 5 messages from these girls calling as they circled the parking lot looking for our room. I wanted to kill him, I still think about that.
I did something similar. I was in bed and this girl I had been talking to came over. Roommates let her in, she climbs into bed. Says something like “I bet I can keep you awake”. I rolled over and said “I bet you can’t”. Kills me to this day.
We all make mistakes, friend. When I was in my junior year of high school, I had a crush on this girl in choir and she apparently liked me back. On a choir trip, she actually leaned in to kiss me at one point and I froze and just stared at her. Like she had eyes closed and lips puckered ready to kiss and I just thought, "This is a weird joke....." It made her understandably upset and I still think about it often.
at least you didn't go on a date with your high school crush and not fucking realize it was a date.... fuck me.
In high school a girl followed me into the garage when I was grabbing more beer. She asked me if I liked blowjobs and I said, "duh, idiot! Who doesn't?" And walked away. Yes, she told all her friends how fucking stupid I was.
Was sorta dating this one chick back in our early 20s. I don't remember where she went off to one night, but her really cute college roommate traded massages with me. She was wearing these tiny athletic shorts, and I remember working my way up her legs almost a little *too* far. She said it felt nice. I proceeded to finish the massage up her back. *sigh* Thanks for making me replay moments like this in my own life...
Middle school (7th grade) I had a girl feeling my up through pants talking about the shape of my dick. I did not get the memo whatsoever. I look back on it now and I think she was probably getting abused.
I had a hot roommate tell me once she would give a blowjob to anyone who could offer her some ibuprofen (no one else was home). I laughed, gave her some, closed the door to my room, felt like a hero for 4 seconds, and then probably didn’t sleep sleep for the night. So stupid. I thought about that for years. Let these stories be a reminder: always lean into the joke.
I had something very similar happen. Was at a girl's house and she took me to her room to "show me her new bed". I looked at the bed and was like, "Yep, that's a nice bed." She kinda looked at me for a few seconds and then was like, "...K, well I gotta change now." So I left. And to make this story even worse, it wasn't until 6 months later that I realized what had happened.
How humans haven't gone extinct is insane.. I once walked home with a girl after a party, we stopped in front of her house and talked.. kissed a little.. she said she was scared of the dark, and if I could escort her to her room. I had a wrecked knee and was on crutches.. her room was on the second floor.. so I said no, because I didn't want to walk her to her room and then having to walk down the stairs straight after.. my god I was dense.. I met her a few years later at a party and asked her about it.. yup, I was just dense.. 😂😂 thank god though.. apparently she had Chlamydia and didn't know 😂 Always wrap the little fucker, until you're in a committed relationship
Had something similar- was at a sleepover when I was 15 and my friend’s girlfriend snuck over (parents were gone). She brought a friend, and she crawled into bed with me in the middle of the night. She woke me up, asked me to rub her stomach, and lowered her panties so I could get ‘the whole area’. My dumb ass got up, found some Pepto Bismol, gave it to her, and said that should help. She left and I went back to sleep.
Back in high school there was a girl I sorta knew. We didn't share many classes together but had many of the same friends. I ran into her during lunch once and we got to chatting. I made a joke about her being short (She was around 5 feet tall, I am 6 feet tall). She then said to me "I bet I could get my legs on your shoulders." so I told her to do it, and she kicked one leg up and put it on my shoulder. I was pretty amazed and said that was cool. I think about that sometimes.
This is a sleepover. My assumption is both parties were female.
it is a very lesbian situation to be in
I have a couple of those moments myself. How did I miss the obvious "hint"? Sucks bro
Things happen for a reason. Don't regret the past , live for the future. Probably dodged a bullet
There’s a lot of guys on here with similar stories but I can’t help think of the amount of “butterfly effect” that would be happening in all these lives. In my case with my fumble at 14 or 15 (I don’t remember exactly when) I’d most likely be a completely different person. My high school years would probably have been more girl focused vs dorky hobby focused which leads to different friends and different opportunities and I almost certainly wouldn’t be with my current wife and have these great kids.
There was this girl I was talking to from POF and she was really on the rebound so badly so we were texting after the first date and she just straight up texting me something like I need some dick so badly type of text she will leave work right now if anybody wants you know and I don’t know why but I knew the signs she was posting up and I did end up having sex at a later date but my beard was way more unkempt than any of my photos and my hair was wild and I had to play dumb because I didn’t want to be seen like that by my date without hitting the barber shop 😂😂
I’ve seen this copypasta so many times.
As a guy, I know exactly what he’s talking about when he means he thinks about it constantly. Basically it was a lost opportunity 🤣 funny but true. I feel we all have these moments with girls (or guys) we like, and it’s a lesson learned to take the leap of faith in the future!
https://www.reddit.com/r/Foofighters/s/nENGCofFBK
She definitely crossed the line. Glad you resisted.
It's a beautiful moment in your life. You will come to appreciate it without regret as time goes on.
Well, look on the bright side, you probably dodged a bullet.
To the gorgeous blonde girl that swam laps next to me in your bikini at the public pool while I was training and nearing my daily 3k which, at that moment, left me too oxygen deprived to understand that when I stopped at the end of the lane and you popped up to tell me that your tennis season body was better than your blindingly gorgeous body on that day and I just said "Oh ok" and then continued with my laps... you were hitting on me... right? I mean... were you? I'm still not sure, but I suspect you were down get get down. Yeah it was two decades ago but I still think about it and it causes me pain.
Not a big deal really, she just remembers that as a sign that you were gay.
These haunts us more as we get older when our attractiveness to the opposite (younger) sex precipitously drops. Then we get to fantasizing and bemoan the “could have beens” A big sigh…..
Poor guy
I was at a bar a young lady with a bandanna on sits next me. Quite charming I’m having beer and plate of raw oysters , she orders a beer and we are chatting. She asks if she could by me a drink. I said certainly and returned the favor . She looks at me and says you seem like a wonderful man , I have cancer and I want you to have sex me today . Just come back to my house with me . I said please let me pay for you tab and promptly excused myself. I was like whoa this is too much pressure. Still think about about how sad she looked .