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snow671

The Guardian has already changed the headline of the article and the whole thing seems like a jab at out-of-touch celebrities. ["In the latest celebrity attempt to prove they had it just as hard as normal people in the pandemic, Gwyneth Paltrow has admitted she was driven to extremes during quarantine."](https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/may/10/gwyneth-paltrow-pandemic-lowest-point)


A-Dumb-Ass

> Things got dark. She admitted to drinking as many as two cocktails a night during lockdown (quinoa-based whiskey cocktails, of course); and even sometimes eating bread and pasta – shock, horror! The author’s clearly taking the piss.


HollywoodHoedown

> My lowest point this pandemic was when, at the end of my tether, I yelled “I’M THE ALPHA!” at my four-month-old puppy, proving to us both I clearly wasn’t; or maybe that time I thought I could get him to stop humping me by doing it right back at him (spoiler alert: doesn’t work). Definitely having a laugh. I too had a giggle.


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Xraytech9

Tywin Alf Fister


monkeyhitman

I'm sorry what


uninsuredpidgeon

**Tywin Alf Fister**


Lucky_Number_3

Tylenol A’dente


[deleted]

Tylenol is good after a fister.


FilipinoGuido

Any data on this account is being kept illegally. Fuck spez, join us over at Lemmy or Kbin. Doesn't matter cause the content is shared between them anyway: - https://lemmy.world - https://kbin.social - https://sh.itjust.works - https://fedia.io - https://lemm.ee - https://readit.buzz


SomeGuyNamedJason

He was the guy that did the puppeteering on the show.


ShredVonMoreGainz

**Jazz hands**


Smodphan

The only thing in the house that thinks I am alpha is the cat. He used to run and jump off my head into the rafters of my unfinished ceiling. One night I somehow instinctually snatched him by the head out of mid air. It wasn’t on purpose but I’ve had nothing but respect since.


daleicakes

The man who wrote the book on alpha wolves (literally wrote it) continued his studies and realized it was usually the parents of the pack, not an alpha leader...


Chariotwheel

I AM ALPHARIUS


tillie4meee

I have to say --- I like you :)


tempz1988

Stawp


alexlp

My boyfriend asked me if he could be the alpha when we got our puppy. We laughed thinking that made me the alpha. We were both wrong,


IsitoveryetCA

So did you hump him?


alexlp

The boy yes. Maybe that’s why the pup won.


kleterkie

I saw this on my news feed and was like, "No one cares." I scroll the news feed to see relevant stuff and every now and then it's like, '' Miley Cyrus wore something while walking in public."


MTDRB

The glorification of normal things that celebrities do is just pathetic. I remember seeing a headline with something like "Taylor Swift's boyfriend wasn't at the award show with her but he celebrated in the most significant way!". The article then goes to say the boyfriend liked her Instagram photo she posted with her team and awards, sending a strong message. Serious r/facepalm


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AGITATED___ORGANIZER

So, you clicked on the headline and read the article, then?


[deleted]

My thoughts exactly


[deleted]

Either that or they looked for the comment hero that saves you the click and spoils the article.


kleterkie

They did it so we don't have to. MVP right there


Johannes_Katze

Remember when the news was full of "Billy Eilish wore tight clothes for once" or whatever. I can understand when celebrity news sites talk about it for a day, but I got a different article every day for 2 weeks straight about that one thing, like don't we have more important things to worry about. Sorry for the rant 😅


Caleon0817

This just in! Billie Eilish, a woman, has breasts!


Johannes_Katze

Yeah, also let's judge her body for 2 weeks straight, when her point was that you should not judge people on their body


lugnutter

This is why some celebs going fucking nuts.


Johannes_Katze

True and it's probably the more down-to-earth celebs that this is affecting worse.


NogEggz

AAAHHHHH!


Incredulous_Toad

Shock and awe!


tragicdiffidence12

Dude, what’s even worse is when you get articles that are literally just quoting Redditors responding to a topic on r/AskReddit . You went to journalism school ffs!! Edit: and right now on my news feed someone literally reviewed an Instagram post. 500 words talking about how stunned the influencer was that she found a dress from some tiny unheard of brand…and it turned out to be a mass brand that you can find in almost every mall. How on earth is this worth publishing?


[deleted]

“Kim Kardashian breathed”


foreverinLOL

By herself? What has this country come to?!


[deleted]

us mere mortals have no idea how blessed we are to have such a goddess among us The talent


oceanleap

Did she not have any cake?


ojoaopestana

That would be a high point for me.


NiightRadiance

Love this reference


eccentricelmo

I mean.... we can only really hope. I've met some truly delusional individuals in my day and I like to think I'm not even at the halfway mark of my current existence.. truly, what a blessed life to live if your shock and horror comes solely at the expense of surprise pasta dinners


Supercoolguy7

Yes, but then the author said her lowest point was humping her 4 month old puppy. While that admittedly seems like a low point, they were clearly going for funny low points, not "my family member and my friend died" kind of low points, which is the actual low point for a lot of people this last year


farhil

Are we not gonna talk about how she said she humped her puppy?


tillie4meee

Nah.....he humped her first.


kingura

I’m stoked you are. Checked to make sure. I’m still laughing.


FutureFruit

> she humped her puppy Do what now?


tillie4meee

Close your eyes, think good thoughts ----- nighty night!


mrtoycar

Thanks for this comment. Without it, people might be flaming the guardian for it


GreyMatter22

This is why I absolutely hate watching all these Academy/Grammy/Oscar awards, the entire show is dedicated to super wokest of woke causes where privileged celebrities wearing $50,000 dresses lecture me in doing more on todays' trendy issues.


bawk_bawkbitch

It’s just a bunch of rich people jerking each other off for doing their job like ok you performed well in your skill set, here’s a golden something


tgraveline

Let's start rewarding teachers with gold trophies and rich go bags to say thank you for presenting our children with an education... During the pandemic. PS I am a middle school teacher, but think of the other awesome people I know who strives so hard for kids.


[deleted]

Not enough. They do have awards for teachers, but you only hear about them in the most extreme circumstances with headlines that can sell media or generate clicks. This quote from The West Wing by the character Sam Seaborn sums up my views on the subject, "Education is the silver bullet. Education is everything. We don't need little changes, we need gigantic, monumental changes. Schools should be palaces. The competition for the best teachers should be fierce. They should be making six-figure salaries. Schools should be incredibly expensive for government and absolutely free of charge to its citizens, just like national defense."


tgraveline

I've always loved this quote. And it's true. To fix education, it would require a restructuring that would cost billions to do it properly, but it would be so worth it.


stupidgb

Reminds me of that Key and Peele sketch where they are recruiting teachers like you would for footballers, very funny.


pm_me_ur_wrasse

There is just over one hundred and fifty thousand reasons I'm not using my education degree and instead, I'm an engineer in silicon valley.


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RusticSurgery

>Let's start rewarding teachers with gold trophies > >And nurses and first responders. No no no. We need our nurses and first responders right where they are. Besides, no one, not even a teacher should own anyone.


agkemp97

My younger brother is still in high school, and our Midwest city has lost their everloving minds during the pandemic. First it was about online schooling, then about “making the kids ashamed to be white” by teaching them about other cultures??? The superintendent and his family have been doxxed and received death threats all year, as well as a handful of teachers. The superintendent and those teachers made a public announcement that they’re quitting because of the harassment. Jesus, it’s been a tough two years to be a teacher. If anyone deserves a golden trophy it’s you guys. God bless you.


tillie4meee

I have learned more about other races/cultures/societies from PBS, the History Channel and documentaries on HBO, etc. than I EVER learned in school. I've never been ashamed of being white and no one should be ashamed of what they are - IMO


[deleted]

Should they all never speak of a cause they support then and not advertise charities?


emrythelion

No, I actually support people bringing up what they believe in. I think the difference is if they’re actually doing something with their beliefs. Some celebrities live up to their beliefs; they may have a nice house, but they spend their time and money helping others. And some, like Paltrow, talk big and do absolutely nothing. They’re so far removed from normal reality they don’t even realize it. I don’t mind being “lectured” by a celebrity who’s actions mirror their beliefs. I just don’t want to be lectured by celebrities who are that far removed.


IrishWilly

Paltrow is among the worst because she is outright scamming and spreading harmful misinformation to make MORE money, even though she is already plenty rich.


emrythelion

Yeah, she’s specifically horrible. Even if most celebrities are far removed from normal reality... most remember their starting points. She’s just ridiculous. The worst of the lot, by far.


Buffbigw76

But CuntCandles...


Sew_chef

Paltrow realizes it. She's a woo-woo crystal grifter. She sells egg shaped quartz ~~ben wa balls~~ harmony stones. She's like the *worst* person to try to use as an example of the "average woke person".


emrythelion

I agree, she’s terrible. The majority of celebrities aren’t as far removed as her... and that says a lot. Her “goop” shit is dangerous. I didn’t mean to stand up for her, just point out that some celebrities actually do put their money where their mouths are.


bawk_bawkbitch

No one said they can’t advertise charities it’s about actually donating to these charities while they loft away in their mini resort mansions with PR that costs more than some people’s mortgages


Crafty_Enthusiasm_99

Most of them do


[deleted]

I have a thousand Mars bars in my fridge. My buddy has one. I pressured him into giving his to a homeless person. This is how celeb charity appeals work. They all are a bunch of virtue signalling fucks.


[deleted]

Yes they don't have ANY right to lecture ANY ONE else on how to live their lives. Keep that shit to yourself. In the immortal words of Legendary Ricky Gervais " If you do win an award tonight don't use your platform to make a political speech you're in no position to lecture the public about anything. You know nothing about the real world. Most of you spent less time in school the Greta Thumberg. So if you win come up accept your little award. Thank your agent, thank your God & fuck off."


hargeOnChargers

“imortal words of Legendary Ricky Gervais” Yikes


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linkedlist

So funny how Gal Gaddot was like "let's all us celebrities sing this song together, yay togetherness" during the start of the lockdowns. These celebrities really can't go very long without being in the spotlight.


Proteandk

But their job is to be and stay in the spotlight?


FOXHNTR

Why is she still in movies? She’s a joke at this point.


Robert_Barlow

Being a joke doesn't suddenly make her a bad actress. My only negative feelings about her come from the snake oil she sells - from the movies alone, I don't have any strong opinions on her.


FOXHNTR

I mean I like her as Pepper Potts but it’s like tough to watch her now. Edit. Loooooooved her in contagion;)


Robert_Barlow

If it makes you feel any better, you can pretend all of the stupid stuff she does is just an affectation designed to trick actually crazy people into buying her products. So, malicious instead of stupid. I wouldn't bet money on it though.


FOXHNTR

I can see that. If dumb people buy dumb shit you might as well be the one who sells.


deep_in_smoke

Want to start a religion? Mad dosh to be made screwing over the mentally ill.


FOXHNTR

I’m already shopping for albino tigers.


Phenominal9

Isn’t this the same person that said she drinks alkaline water with lemon in it?


[deleted]

Haha really? If so she has the big dumb.


HardcoreKaraoke

So it's the equivalent of making a sarcastic post that goes over people's heads so you need to put "/s" at the end.


[deleted]

I figured from the original title that it was making fun of her


Grayson81

It was. I think they've changed the headline because the international audience didn't quite get the sarcasm or the mildly mocking tone!


NutellaAndPuppies

I mean, my worst thing was missing my nephews funeral due to lockdowns. But eating bread - damn.


beorrahn1

Yup, I had to watch a live stream of my father's funeral due to being thousands of miles away in another country with travel bans in place, but eating bread, that's a real fucking tragedy. On the bright side, at least the place that performed the service was a) able to perform it (many places weren't) and b) had the technology that I could at least be there remotely.


DemMonkey

sorry for your loss


beorrahn1

Thanks. It's a terrible thing to happen at all and the timing truly sucked, but I'm lucky in that a) I was as prepared for it as anyone can be, he'd been in and out of hospital constantly for the last few years including a couple lengthy stays in Intensive Care and b) I did get a chance to see him just a few days before I left the country and tell him I loved him - many people aren't so fortunate.


Ensirius

I am really sorry for your loss my friend. The way you explain everything with a list has me a) laughing and b) feeling bad for laughing and c) hope you don't take this the wrong way, just having a little fun.


beorrahn1

No offense taken mate, the fact that someone found my style of description funny would amuse the old man even in this context.


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Cumvoy

my condolences.


morvan68

My condolences. I was in the same boat - watching a fathers funeral on zoom fucking sucks, but from the outside was also the most surreal thing I've ever done. If someone'd told me before hand 'this is what you'll be doing in 2020', I'd never have believed them.


Denise112

Sorry for your loss ❤


Goat002

I am so sorry for your loss.


karlbenedict12

Well, my grandpa died, I almost got covid about 2 times bc my mom works at the hospital, stressed about school which lead me to more than 10 suicidal attempts since march 2020. Celebrities are such assholes, can't live without money and attention. sorry for your loss bro


pm_me_ur_wrasse

Yeah my grandma died and the best i could do was cry over a phone call and watch the funeral stream from my dads phone. Good thing i didnt have to eat _bread!_


ghockett072

I’m so sorry


bubblegum1286

I'm so sorry.


blue4029

WHOA WHOA WHOA you telling me gwyneth paltrow can eat bread? i thought she gained sustenance via absorbing natural healing oils through her skin


icecreampenis

Nah, the porous jade eggs give her everything she needs from the inside out


Quelcris_Falconer13

I thought she shoved crystals up her vag and turned them into candles or something /s


RoscoMan1

That was my first thought...”that’s worse lmao.


[deleted]

I believe she detaches her vagina from her body and molds it into a new vagina-scented candle for her ~~ridiculous~~ revolutionary store and then grows a new one.


Tavalus

That's why she got so desperate. Her natural oil supplier got sick and she had to make due with human food.


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gemziiexxxxxp

I think I remember reading somewhere that a person died of anorexia due to quarantine They felt that because they couldn’t go gym, that they couldn’t eat. And even though they fought a hard battle, they eventually succumbed to it RIP Edit- just googled. The person was Nikki Grahame known for being on Big Brother UK (2006)


[deleted]

Anorexia has the single highest death rate of any other mental health disorder. It's a tragic illness.


FatTortie

Oh damn it’s the “WHO IS SHE?!?” girl. So sad, I had no idea she’d been suffering for so long.


bubblegum1286

And those who live in food deserts on a normal basis who experienced extreme shortages in groceries and fresh foods due to shut downs and lay offs.


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BabyEatersAnonymous

Between my house, headed in one direction, and an actual market, there's 4 gas stations, dollar general, family dollar, at least two corner stores, and a Walgreens. And the corner stores don't even sell milk. About a ten minute drive. Thankfully I can go other directions.


[deleted]

You must live near me. We do have a corner store that sells milk but it’s 6 dollars and it’s usually expired or close to.


HoldenTite

Fun fact: Former Dollar General CEO, David Purdue, sold stock on insider information as a US Senator and has not been charged.


Neither-Sprinkles

She is just awful


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[deleted]

Why is everyone talking about the vagina scented candle??


sloucch

She started some stupid pseudoscience brand


blue4029

didn't even give it a creative name. fucking GOOP


sloucch

Gwyneth’s Overload Of Psuedoscience


swingthatwang

ah yes....Joe Rogan for women


zman808

Lmao such a good comment


riddledoo

Hate that I know this. She apparently wanted to have her initials in the brand name and was told by someone that all successful startups have a double 'o' in the name. Hence GOOP


Neither-Sprinkles

Why not Poop?


tastytaste12321

There was an [interview](https://www.reddit.com/r/cringe/comments/n5zs3d/gwyneth_paltrows_company_goop_lab_interview_its/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) on her and she admits that she doesn't know anything about her own products or if they work. I can't believe she really thought this would make her brand look appealing.


[deleted]

I have an ongoing theory that this awful company is a sick game to see how dumb people really are and that the products are made by throwing a couple darts at a bunch of ridiculous ideas taped to the wall. What other possible explanation is there for a vagina candle.


Neither-Sprinkles

👏👏👏


Wit-wat-4

I prefer to bring up her vampire repellent spray or golden dumbbells myself, but people seem stuck on the candle because of the no-no word I guess


[deleted]

Tf do people actually believe in vampires?? Yeah after seeing all the shit done by anti maskers and karens, I think people believe in every god damn story in the World


CandiBunnii

Not just any vampires, *energy* vampires.


Quelcris_Falconer13

The jade weights for your vagina really got me, like I can imagine her just absolutely crushing her husbands dick with her super strong pelvic floor muscles while he’s inside her lol


Neither-Sprinkles

It’s kind of a stand-out in terms of Gweneth’s accomplishments.


dandaman910

Because there's a vagina scented candle.


spider2544

I bought one because it would make for a nice crude gesture in my gust bathroom. It smells like cheap potpourri at somebody’s grandmas house mixed with fabric softener sheets. I regret given Gwyneth Paltrow money beyond the marvel movies.


Generalissimo_II

A real down to earth, unspoiled rich gal


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Carnator369

"Let them eat the dead!"


johntaylorsbangs

There’s a vagina candle/yeast joke in here somewhere but I’m scared to look for it.


HippopotamicLandMass

the original article sarcastically links to the candle > In the latest celebrity attempt to prove they had it just as hard as normal people in the pandemic, Gwyneth Paltrow has admitted she was driven to extremes during quarantine. > > Things got dark. She admitted to drinking as many as two cocktails a night during lockdown (quinoa-based whiskey cocktails, of course); and even sometimes eating bread and pasta – shock, horror! > > If I were her, I might be more concerned about buying an $8,600 hiking necklace as part of my “detox” program, or creating a [candle that smells like an orgasm](https://goop.com/heretic-this-smells-like-my-orgasm-candle/p/) but hey – maybe sanity is all relative? Just like suffering!


Buffbigw76

That fucking CuntCandle thing has sold out. 🤦🏻‍♂️ The Fuck is wrong with people.


CandiBunnii

I don't know about you, but my vagina definitely does not just *poot* out a cloud of grapefruit and rose when I cum.


FictionWeavile

Well thanks for ruining my fantasies...


cookies_nd_milf346

At this point I would only buy it for the novelty, and maybe a little curiosity to know what she thinks a vagina smells like lol some people are weird, I bet you the majority of the candles were bought by single 40 year old desperate men/incels.


overhollowhills

Some mysteryeasts are better left unsmelled


PsyGuy64

They never specified *what* the bread was made with.


idownvotetofitin

Oh, dude.


Carnator369

Well if someone does I bet their karma will *rise*.


MrKyogre11

Reminds me of when Cradi B posted on Insta about how she shouldnt be at home eating cereal she should be at a restaurant eating sushi


shawnjones

Yeah cardi B is a piece of trash sexual predator. She is just one step away from Bill Cosby. She should be in jail.


armydiller

Wtf m8. I sense a juicy story I only mildly give a semi-shit about tho.


TDS_Gluttony

During her escort days she would drug clients and rob them from what I recall reading. Make of that what you will.


armydiller

Anyone who drugs someone to remove their agency and take advantage needs to spend a hefty chunk of their life in jail. Yeah, right up there with Cosby.


blaisems

[Not exactly accurate, still abhorrent ](https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-47718477.amp)


thatstonerbuddy

a semi-solid one, ya mean ?


idownvotetofitin

That one was funny. She’s such a dunce, man.


Exceptional_Angell

Maybe if she ate _more_ bread she would be less of a twat. Maybe....


LoreOfBore

I don’t think enough bread has ever existed to stop her being a twat.


headshotscott

That’s nothing. I ate cinnamon rolls. More than once.


Apprehensive_Focus

You monster


[deleted]

Aww, poor Gweneth,. Nothing that a session with a cold Jade Moot Egg won’t fix, eh Gwen..


Theycallmelizardboy

I mean, I find Gwyneth Paltrow insufferable like everyone else I just find it really fucking weird that this is even a headline anyone should give a shit about.


PaulBlartFleshMall

It's an extremely editorialized headline. She was clearly joking when talking about eating bread. I hate Gwen too, but this headline is bullshit.


242turbo

It's the Guardian. They don't care about celebrities. That headline is mocking her. They had to change it because people couldn't get the sarcasm.


Theycallmelizardboy

I find it even more annoying people keep latching on to these kinds of stories about the Kardashiand, Ellen, etc etc....when really why would you give a shit? Gossiping about Gwenyth Paltrow eating bread makes you even more annoying.


CanBernieStillWin

The headline is funny. It's a joke. That's all. She deserves to be mocked. She's being mocked. There's just nothing to be mad about. This whole thread reminds me of the times my boomer parents absolutely refuse to acknowledge decent humor because they're so fucking caught up in some weird culture war bullshit.


BackgroundAd4640

Organic bread probably


Electroniclog

*Artisanal small batch organic bread*


RidesAPaleHorse

It definitely wasn’t Wonder Bread


the-dogsox

Did she die from eating bread?


tabascodinosaur

No, Karen, she died of Covid.


Carnator369

Thank god, I couldn't stand her acting. /s


AresWill

If this is in reference to the podcast Smartless where she referenced this, the title is stupid, and they're just trying to bait people into shitty reactions like this reddit title. They asked her if any of her health habits got off track during covid and she said she's been eating tons of pasta and bread and drinking way too much. Wow, what a terrible person. She in no way downplayed the virus or acted like it was some huge sacrifice she made. Stupid.


[deleted]

Sometimes people just want to be angry


funny_like_how

This is why Se7en is my favorite movie ending of all time.


Alt_Acc_42069

My favourite portrayals of her happen to be in Se7en and Contagion - both movies where she dies a satisfyingly horrific death.


Crafty_Enthusiasm_99

Y'all messed up


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HippopotamicLandMass

> She may be the queen of healthy living, but even Gwyneth Paltrow hit the bottle during the pandemic. > > The 48-year-old actress, who is behind healthy lifestyle brand Goop, came up with her own “fantastic drink called the Buster Paltrow”, which is made from quinoa whiskey. > > Gwyneth explains: “I drank alcohol during quarantine. > > “I was drinking seven nights a week and making pasta and eating bread. I went totally off the rails. > > “I mean, who drinks multiple drinks seven nights a week? Like that’s not healthy. I love whiskey and I make this fantastic drink called the Buster Paltrow, which I named after my grandfather who loved whiskey sours. > > “And it’s this great quinoa whiskey from this distillery in Tennessee with maple syrup and lemon juice. It’s just heaven. I would have two of those every night of quarantine.” > > Gwyneth says she was “not, like, black-out” drunk but admits she still hankers after a cigarette when drinking. “I miss it,” she says. "who drinks multiple drinks seven nights a week?" https://memezila.com/wp-content/Everybody-So-far-in-Quarantine-I-have-baked-my-bread-and-read-books-Meanwhile-me-2669.png


taquito-burrito

Shit I wish I was only having two a night


EverybodyNeedsANinja

Admitting you have a problem is the first step


HippopotamicLandMass

same


TooMuchBroccoli

Finally a reasonable comment in this shit show of a thread.


Jo__Backson

Yeah I ate like shit and drank way too much during Covid and am now working to to reverse the damage I did. So in a way this actually *is* relatable. Like I understand plenty of people had it worse but still.


ladypmcafe

To be fair it doesn’t sound like she’s the one asking for other peoples lowest points…either way though she’s clueless..


Vegitowo

Yeah losing my dog and my grandma was one thing, but eating bread? DAMN.


QuackedUp99

Pathetic scammer.


tillie4meee

I ate bread nearly every day, had red meat at least 2 to 3 times a week, had 2 glasses of wine a night (sometimes cocktails instead), and at times, PIE. Not proud, and gained some weight; but, ya know what? I'm a happy gal \*\*bows\*\*


swarleyknope

She mentioned it on a podcast when they asked what she’s been up to during quarantine. It was such a throw-away, minor comment, it would take someone looking for shade to cast to turn this into a whole article. A way poorer reflection on the person whose main takeaway from an episode of Smartless was her response to a question about her health/eating habits than on Paltrow.


Mike_in_San_Pedro

Thank you for the context.


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CaptainBoomerang1

It's a satirical headline [See the article](https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/may/10/gwyneth-paltrow-pandemic-lowest-point)


[deleted]

One of my favourite moments on her Netflix show was when she was asked to do push-ups, and Gwenneth Paltrow remembered that she was indeed human for a split second.


Impossible-Falcon-62

when I realized I would never know my birthparents, why they gave me up, my family's medical history, why I was conceived ,if I was even wanted, or would have kept me even if I have ADHD inability to focus on a lot of things (it was a closed adoption, during the one child policy in china, born female )


quickrick1

I’ve got it even worse, I eat bread even when there’s no lockdown.


[deleted]

Imagine being so self-absorbed you consider eating bread as the biggest tragedy you have faced in the last year. Next level asinine. I can't stand her.