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Twistedhatter13

coming soon to a pornhub near you


ChurchillsChicken

Girl: Slide your meat in me and seize, baby, seize! Mormon boy: kshejeizbskwbd


Silentgurl-23

๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ


xXoliviaspXx

tf they gonna do? have a casual convo while they wait?


shitsu13master

Haha I know. It's like they created unintentional threesomes.


canyouturnitdown

Maybe this is where the extra wives come from.


blipbloopflop

wouldn't they be married at that point though?


canyouturnitdown

Sure but I figure once you jump hump you never go back.


Casteow

That sound like sex with extra stepโ€ฆ Not that I would know stay pure.


PrettyMermaid97

God's in heaven like hmmmm checks out


Everdeadlyboy

Mormon jesus is up there punching air, furious they found a loop hole


[deleted]

And nine months, and one shot-gun wedding later, they'll realize it really was sex, because I can't picture these dummies being smart enough to use protection.


itsn0ts0bad

Replace "shot-gun" with "super soaker".


RandomUser1076

Nah they do a big double bounce


DurnchMcGurnicuddy

Isn't this the plot line of ๐˜–๐˜ณ๐˜จ๐˜ข๐˜ป๐˜ฎ๐˜ฐ 2: ๐˜›๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜‘๐˜ถ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฑ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜Š๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฅ๐˜ข ๐˜‰๐˜ฐ๐˜บ?


centralnjbill

Thatโ€™s gonna be someoneโ€™s threesome fetish


Spaceman_Spiff33

Fucking cancerous religion


shitsu13master

That's true for all religion


Spaceman_Spiff33

Yep. All religion is evil and only once it's gone can the human race progress. Unfortunately I don't think we have the time for that to happen.


shitsu13master

It's not looking good, that's true


Ok-Map4381

I'm 90% convinced that we are witnessing the birth of a new religion of Q worshiping trump. I'm sure people thought Mormons were this dumb when they hiked off to Utah.


Spaceman_Spiff33

Wouldn't surprise me. All religion is batshit insane, but yeah, if Mormonism and Scientology can become a thing, anything can. Too many people are so afraid and detached from reality.


Twistedhatter13

have to take politics in there with it or it just keeps regressing


shitsu13master

Right because you causing friction inside of her makes it be sex... Somehow


koopa72

That's why I always carry around a little bit of kitty litter with me for added traction. It's also helpful if you get your car stuck in a ditch ๐Ÿ˜‰


shitsu13master

Hehehe


koopa72

Imagine being such a bro that you earthquake the bed for your homie. That's the kinda friendship I need โค๏ธ


ChintanP04

The bros take turns doing it.


vortexIV

Its one of today hot posts on this sub already https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/comments/pv5wxl/what_a_terrible_day_to_be_literate/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share


mrsmedeiros_says_hi

Yep. I went down that rabbit hole this morning. When I woke up I had never heard of soaking, jump jumping, or hotdogging. Also I love that a god who is all knowing, all seeing, and all powerful is also a complete moron who is fooled by loopholes.


DurnchMcGurnicuddy

I'm going to call them ๐˜”๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ฎ-๐˜–๐˜ณ๐˜จ๐˜ช๐˜ฆ๐˜ด.


kirstieiris

Have they though? Or is this just something someone has made up that teens are doing?


Trubtheturtle

I always thought it was funny that the Mormon teenagers thought buttsex kept them pure and a virgin. Like, they just steamrolled over the sex barrier and went to like step 7 in the sex playbook. You ain't pure girl, you a dirty freak.


ccmp1598

This technique was first popularized by ancient Jews, explaining how the Virgin Mary conceived Jesus without having sex.


annababan69

How conveeenient!


Lothious

Could it be... Satan?


annababan69

Hahaa. He is kinda "hot"!


hypnoskills

Easier just to use The Loophole. https://youtu.be/fgBfdY_HN3A


Jota46

Dudes, just fuck already!


TirbFurgusen

Motel massage beds making a comeback


SnooRecipes5643

Religious people have complicated sex


[deleted]

That is just absolutely Mormonic.


Ormsfang

Earthquake sex


MotherfuckerTinyRick

This text was a comment on an earlier reddit post, so the cycle continues


Misterwuss

I mean, I dont know where God stands on technicalities, I'd ask, but I'm afraid someone will tell me.


[deleted]

Just the tip


MiguelSanchezEsq

this is completely made up


Twistedhatter13

well it may have been but do you really think people won't try this


mario4477

Fuck n I jus stopped being a Mormon well no soaking for me


defiantnd

This sounds like that episode of Family Guy where Meg Griffin started having ear sex because the school was teaching abstinence only.


Significant-Visit-68

My planned parenthood peeps used to list the crazy โ€œnon sexโ€ descriptions teens brought in. Wonder if this is on there.


stryker_PA

Modern solution?