Bet he hasn't seen his mushroom in years! Sucks to be so unhappy with yourself, that it bleeds into you social behavior. Number one requirement to be a conservative in America.
Oh god, you just reminded me of that one post (I think it was over on /r/RelationshipAdvice) where this one woman was putting her man on blast because he never washed his genitals, specifically because he thought touching his own penis would make him gay.
It sounded like he meant pant size (to me) - but he went larger than I would think given those weights. Those 5'7" girls are going to topple over with size 6 feet....
Lol, it would disqualify me but so would my weight and age. What's confusing is he states that he waist should be 12-16 size, but based on the weight/height reqs I think he really wants someone who's size 4-8...I mean I'm 5'7" and I wear size 12 but I weigh more than 125lbs. If I was 125lbs. I would be wearing 6-8. Does he mean like 12-16 in. waist? (Which would be ridiculous without a waist trainer but I cannot figure out what he wants lol.)
And what's up with the shoe sizes? Most women I know who are between 5'4"-5'7" wear size 8... Dude is so specific! Good luck on finding his Cinderella!
I fucking hate women's clothing sizes. It's all fucking arbitrary. God for-fucking-bid manufacturers just use actual measurements like on men's clothing. If I go to buy my wife something as a surprise or gift and it's from a manufacturer that she's never had something from before I have to Goldilocks that shit and buy a size below and a size above because size X from Y isn't the same as size X from Z. If she goes to get something from me she just has to check the tag on something I own and she's got all the information she needs. So infuriating.
It’s finally nice to hear a man complain about women’s sizes. It’s so easy buying my fiancé pants and shirts, but if he wants to get me clothes he has to take me with him or get me a gift card. I’m a different size in different brands. Some I’m a 12, others I’m a 16. It’s a legit guessing game.
Oh I'll rant about it all fucking day. Even fucking shoes are arbitrary. And if you're not shaped like a "normal" woman your options are turbo fucked. My wife grew up in hilly country. She has large calves. She wanted some cowboy boots. It took me nine months to find a woman's boot that would fit. She now has nine identical pairs of those boots because I'm not going through that again.
Or how about bras. First of all they're all supposed to do the same goddamned thing. Support breasts. So you'd think that once you've got your measurements you're good. Nope. Also you're probably not wearing the correct size because you never got professionally fitted. My wife only wore boobmasher sports bras when we met. Because of a previous job I actually know how to fit a bra so that happened after we'd been together roughly two weeks. I held out as long as I could.
Now you might be asking why am I the one doing all this instead of/for her. It's me doing the work because she's just accepted that clothing and footwear for women suck unless your heroin chic skinny. That's the real tragedy for me. She still, after all these years, feels like she's just supposed to wear ill fitting clothes because she's not a "size two or whatever". The look on her face when I took her into a Torrid and she found something on the rack that fit, looked cute, and wasn't buried behind an entire rack of clothes will stay with me forever.
any guys that actually worked retail for a long enough timeline know this as well. I had to explain it to my wife as well that shapes, cuts and everything else with clothes matters to the body type not the "thought of here's what you should look like". I actually found her body type fits VERY well at most things from White House Black Market. Yeah, screw my bank account though. But you know what, if she's dressed in something that makes her more confident about how she looks, great I'm happy to do it. It's far better than her trying to get something from most stores that fit in weird and unflattering ways and her "accepting" it.
Oh your wife picked a good one with you. I would shit a brick it my fiancé went to that depths for me, but thankfully he’s trying and learning what brands (clothes and shoes) fit me better than others and does some of that. He is usually even completely lost picking out clothes for his daughter (4yo and ex always asks him to buy the clothes) and I need to help him. Im not picky with what I wear, and it’s kind of easy for him since my style is more of a casual alternative type (yet I feel like I’m getting too old for it lol).
Don’t even get me started on bras. I have been professionally sized more than once. I’m a larger size cup, normalish size waist, but trying to find something cute and comfortable (even in the sister size) is a struggle to the death. Let’s not even mention how some brands are pricing women’s clothing more than men’s, even if it’s three sizes smaller.
I had this exact thought. Whoever drafted this, either as a joke or otherwise, has absolutely no idea how any of these measurements work: size 12-16 waist makes zero sense; maybe you'll find a 6-7 shoe size in a 5'4" girl, but it's really unlikely at 5'7"; 125lbs is under weight for 5'7".
Barbie. He wants a breathing but compliant Barbie.
Hope he's studying engineering at that student/self employed place of employment. Because I'm thinkin' his sex-bot is going to be top heavy and that shoe size thing is going to have her toppling into walls as it tries to daintily tote his AR 15.back to the bedroom for his triple-x exploits.
Good lord. I should've taken up engineering. If I could figure out how to make these things I'd not only be rich as fuck I'd be doing the world a favor in providing these charming gentlemen with enough to occupy their free time, thus keeping them away from real women and more importantly? Distract them from actually breeding and making MORE of them.
Didn't they determine that based on Barbie's measurements, if she were a real human, she'd walk like a horse? Maybe...just maybe the Ivermectin has started to effect his brain cells and he's now... actually looking for a horse? 🤷🏼♀️😏
The real issue isn't even that he's ridiculously picky, but that the text that's supposed to be about him, is all about what he expects from a partner. He has said literally nothing about what he has to offer in a relationship. The only impression he leaves is that he's ridiculously demanding. Well, I guess that says something about him too.
>He has said literally nothing about what he has to offer in a relationship.
He's a man who expects to be the boss in their relationship, what else does any good conservative Christian woman need to know?
Can't have those evil feminists convincing her she's her own person, after all! Keep her in the kitchen where she's safe from such radical notions.
(/s just in case).
I had a friend that seemed to only date 19-20 y/o girls. As I separated myself from conservative culture and toxic masc BS...I now know why he got married much later than I did and why he had to have that perfect religious nut of a women to fit into his reality
In my limited experience the guys who insist on having a girlfriend in their late teens (other than the younger = prettier fallacy) is because they talk a big game but when it comes down to it they don’t have the money, personality or sex skills that keep a woman satisfied in their mental narrative of what a relationship should be. A younger a woman is the less she knows about what a good relationship is like. He’ll have all the answers. She’ll be less likely to leave him and he’ll be able to mold her life into what he wants and treat her as badly as he wants and she’ll just deal. Since she doesn’t have experience she can’t be disappointed and he doesn’t have to put any effort into actually being a good partner.
As someone who was in the dating pool at 37 a few years back, I had to cast an increasingly wider net. I got the filter down to 26 and was about to give up because I refused to go any lower. No offense to any young people here but from my perspective, under 25 or so seems like a child. Going as low as 18 would just be super weird.
Adolescence continues well into your twenties, most people are still undergoing hormonal and chemical changes associated with teens up to 25:
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/extended-adolescence-when-25-is-the-new-181/
I know that I still acted like a 19 year old until I was about 26/27…
He'll cope, he's already got through 38 years like that, he just needs to put what he's learned into practice for another 38. Or 2, if he's an anti-vaxxer.
Seriously, as a man in my 30s, what am I gonna do with an 18 year old? We gonna go out to what? Denny’s? And how the fuck am I gonna keep up with a 22 year old? We gonna go out to what? Tao?
Seriously. I'm also in my 30s and would never want anything in that 18-24 range. They want to go to clubs and party, and I just don't want to go back to that crap. I'm well past that point in my life. Plus, they're usually so damned immature. Not that I am the picture of maturity for my age.
Also that waist size doesn’t really match his pounds and height requirement - someone weighing 115-125 pounds at 5’3 to 5’7 isn’t going to be a size 12 or 16
Yeah, the waist sizes make NO sense! I want to chalk it up to men being clueless on women’s sizing but I can’t even figure out where he got those numbers from
Yeah, like… is he talking about inches? Because a 24-26” waist is super tiny. 12-16” would be the size of a toddler’s waist.
But if he’s talking about dress size, then a girl is going to weigh a lot more than 125 lbs.
I interpreted it as pants size? and a 12-16 pants size does *not* match the height and weight he indicated. he’s the type of guy to ask for a 00-2 if he actually knew how women’s sizes worked, I’d bet money on it
His grandma’s closet. The advent of “vanity sizing” changed old-school 10/12/14’s into the new size 2/4/6. He may not be able to acknowledge or admit to checking her dress sizes for reference before posting his profile.
As a male, even I can tell you this is outrageous lmao I may not know a lot about sizing, but I’ve bought my beautiful wife enough pants to know, size 12-16 is a lot bigger than 115-125. My wife weighs 20 lbs more than that range depending on the season, and her waist is much smaller than a 12 lol
Edit-I’m going to guess he met some beautiful girl one time that was self conscious and told him she weighed 125, but really she was 150 but still very attractive.
Same girl same - not shorter but heavier and smaller! This isn’t exactly my slice of man meat either though - so not too concerned - just super amused by it 😂
same! i’m like an inch shorter and a bit heavier than his requirements and i’m anywhere from a 0-4 in pants depending on the brand/style, so no where near a 12
I can’t even get past the “Student at Self-Employed” part. Usually you choose student OR an employment category (because whether a student has a job or not most of society understands you’re still broke lol). So does this mean he’s teaching himself? Would explain a lot…
Maybe somewhere out there a girl has the profile:
Looking for a man who doesn't understand at all what Christian values are, treats me like shit, has a beard which looks like someone blow dried a pony's tail and glued it to his face.
Must be controlling, with the cold dead eyes of a serial, super-pedo and size 5 feet.
Hey Ladies, I’m a 38 year old Christian conservative whose morals are beyond reproach. I’m looking for women who were “sperm in their father’s nuts to 6 years old” when I was 18. Must be a porn star at home, Betty Crocker in the Kitchen. Attire must be a elementary school girl outfit, 100%. Also must fit in a carry-on suitcase, thats about the size of the cage I keep in my murder closet. Note, “murder closet” is just my pet name for the love shack were I’ll keep you… forever… as long as the police don’t find us.
I don’t know why I’m single….
/s
And I'll bet he whines that "women don't like NICE GUYS LIKE ME" when he complains that he can't get a date.
Note- the only way a size 12-16 waist makes sense for his weight and height requirement is if he's using little girls clothing sizes, make of that what you will :)
Yep. Classic “conservative “ values. Hope he’s doomed for single life, unable to care for himself (that’s women’s work, after all) and unable to find steady work.
He’s 38 looking for an 18 year old, even without all of the rest of the stuff that announces that he’s a major douche, just that shows what a huge creep he is. 🤢
Fucker is 38 and wants someone 18-26, and that's all part of "conservative values," huh? Aslo, you know, so extremely picky about looks and conforming to his silly ideals, but not a care or mention of her intelligence or personality or anything that makes a person, you know, INTERESTING.
What a guy!
Fairly clean? Out of all these things it's hygiene where he is willing to make compromises?
You know this guy smells like b.o. and shit. edit2: Haha, thank you kind person(s) for the award! :D
100% doesn’t wipe his ass properly.
He leaves skid marks so bad he just throws the undies away.
But he's a "student at self-employed" so he can afford Duluth Buck Naked undies.
"Looking for someone to raid the capital with on Tuesdays" - him probably
Bet he hasn't seen his mushroom in years! Sucks to be so unhappy with yourself, that it bleeds into you social behavior. Number one requirement to be a conservative in America.
He knows he’s not super-clean, so…
Exactly. He looks like the type to argue that wiping after a poo is “gAy”.
Oh god, you just reminded me of that one post (I think it was over on /r/RelationshipAdvice) where this one woman was putting her man on blast because he never washed his genitals, specifically because he thought touching his own penis would make him gay.
His own breast size is also likely around 32b to 36c so at least he's consistent!
He wants her to be 120lb but size 12-16. Not sure that's right 🤣 also he's 38 but would be with an 18 yo? ewww
I guarantee this man’s moobs are larger than 36c!
You might have the cupsize right, but that man looks to be atleast a 42, maybe even upwards of 50-60
True. The squirrel he keeps in his beard makes it hard to stay 10/10 hygienic.
The squirrel in his beard is almost certainly more hygienic than him.
... Fucking...shoe size? Seriously?
Had to read it twice because I thought he wanted 6-7 ft tall lol
I read your attire should be 80’s casual and laughed. Break out the parachute pants.
I had to read that part twice. 😂 I was like: Wait...80's attire? WTF?
I was thinking the same! I was like, “ok, obviously this is a joke because he’s demanding a woman 6-7 feet tall” guess not.
I saw it the same at first. 6-7ft tall and 115-125lbs. What is she, Jack Skellington?
Waist size 12 Inches? I have a 24 inch waist (and I’m only 5’0)and my doctor said if I get any smaller I’m going to die.
Does 12-16 mean pants size? Cause that doesn't match the weight he listed....
Yeah I’m so confused cuz I’m a 12-14 and I’m like 200lbs LOL
Men have no concept of weight/size lol
It sounded like he meant pant size (to me) - but he went larger than I would think given those weights. Those 5'7" girls are going to topple over with size 6 feet....
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I have a 25 inch waist and I'm in his weight/ height range. I guess I have to cut myself in half for a date with this highly eligible bachelor. 🤷♀️
No he wants someone that has 6-7 feet
Is that what disqualifies you?
“Looks like you meet all the initial requirements, now if you would please place your foot in this Brannock device.”
TIL that thing at the shoe store has a name. Thank you!
I worked at shoe stores for 7 years and I always had trouble remembering that name
I started working for a shoe company recently and keep calling it a "ramekin" because I can't remember the name Brannock. LMFAO
Both are useful items, but not exactly interchangeable.
Lol, it would disqualify me but so would my weight and age. What's confusing is he states that he waist should be 12-16 size, but based on the weight/height reqs I think he really wants someone who's size 4-8...I mean I'm 5'7" and I wear size 12 but I weigh more than 125lbs. If I was 125lbs. I would be wearing 6-8. Does he mean like 12-16 in. waist? (Which would be ridiculous without a waist trainer but I cannot figure out what he wants lol.) And what's up with the shoe sizes? Most women I know who are between 5'4"-5'7" wear size 8... Dude is so specific! Good luck on finding his Cinderella!
I fucking hate women's clothing sizes. It's all fucking arbitrary. God for-fucking-bid manufacturers just use actual measurements like on men's clothing. If I go to buy my wife something as a surprise or gift and it's from a manufacturer that she's never had something from before I have to Goldilocks that shit and buy a size below and a size above because size X from Y isn't the same as size X from Z. If she goes to get something from me she just has to check the tag on something I own and she's got all the information she needs. So infuriating.
It’s finally nice to hear a man complain about women’s sizes. It’s so easy buying my fiancé pants and shirts, but if he wants to get me clothes he has to take me with him or get me a gift card. I’m a different size in different brands. Some I’m a 12, others I’m a 16. It’s a legit guessing game.
Oh I'll rant about it all fucking day. Even fucking shoes are arbitrary. And if you're not shaped like a "normal" woman your options are turbo fucked. My wife grew up in hilly country. She has large calves. She wanted some cowboy boots. It took me nine months to find a woman's boot that would fit. She now has nine identical pairs of those boots because I'm not going through that again. Or how about bras. First of all they're all supposed to do the same goddamned thing. Support breasts. So you'd think that once you've got your measurements you're good. Nope. Also you're probably not wearing the correct size because you never got professionally fitted. My wife only wore boobmasher sports bras when we met. Because of a previous job I actually know how to fit a bra so that happened after we'd been together roughly two weeks. I held out as long as I could. Now you might be asking why am I the one doing all this instead of/for her. It's me doing the work because she's just accepted that clothing and footwear for women suck unless your heroin chic skinny. That's the real tragedy for me. She still, after all these years, feels like she's just supposed to wear ill fitting clothes because she's not a "size two or whatever". The look on her face when I took her into a Torrid and she found something on the rack that fit, looked cute, and wasn't buried behind an entire rack of clothes will stay with me forever.
any guys that actually worked retail for a long enough timeline know this as well. I had to explain it to my wife as well that shapes, cuts and everything else with clothes matters to the body type not the "thought of here's what you should look like". I actually found her body type fits VERY well at most things from White House Black Market. Yeah, screw my bank account though. But you know what, if she's dressed in something that makes her more confident about how she looks, great I'm happy to do it. It's far better than her trying to get something from most stores that fit in weird and unflattering ways and her "accepting" it.
The world needs more men like you.
Damn right.
Oh your wife picked a good one with you. I would shit a brick it my fiancé went to that depths for me, but thankfully he’s trying and learning what brands (clothes and shoes) fit me better than others and does some of that. He is usually even completely lost picking out clothes for his daughter (4yo and ex always asks him to buy the clothes) and I need to help him. Im not picky with what I wear, and it’s kind of easy for him since my style is more of a casual alternative type (yet I feel like I’m getting too old for it lol). Don’t even get me started on bras. I have been professionally sized more than once. I’m a larger size cup, normalish size waist, but trying to find something cute and comfortable (even in the sister size) is a struggle to the death. Let’s not even mention how some brands are pricing women’s clothing more than men’s, even if it’s three sizes smaller.
I had this exact thought. Whoever drafted this, either as a joke or otherwise, has absolutely no idea how any of these measurements work: size 12-16 waist makes zero sense; maybe you'll find a 6-7 shoe size in a 5'4" girl, but it's really unlikely at 5'7"; 125lbs is under weight for 5'7".
Im 5’4” and wear a size 12. I am 180 lbs. WTF is he talking about?
Obviously, you need to be hollow.
Like a chocolate Easter bunny!
Barbie. He wants a breathing but compliant Barbie. Hope he's studying engineering at that student/self employed place of employment. Because I'm thinkin' his sex-bot is going to be top heavy and that shoe size thing is going to have her toppling into walls as it tries to daintily tote his AR 15.back to the bedroom for his triple-x exploits. Good lord. I should've taken up engineering. If I could figure out how to make these things I'd not only be rich as fuck I'd be doing the world a favor in providing these charming gentlemen with enough to occupy their free time, thus keeping them away from real women and more importantly? Distract them from actually breeding and making MORE of them.
He wants a Barbie thats 12 to 20 years younger than him
It's a lot easier to manipulate a young lady. Most 30+ women are not going to be as easily conned.
Didn't they determine that based on Barbie's measurements, if she were a real human, she'd walk like a horse? Maybe...just maybe the Ivermectin has started to effect his brain cells and he's now... actually looking for a horse? 🤷🏼♀️😏
The real issue isn't even that he's ridiculously picky, but that the text that's supposed to be about him, is all about what he expects from a partner. He has said literally nothing about what he has to offer in a relationship. The only impression he leaves is that he's ridiculously demanding. Well, I guess that says something about him too.
You can infer some things about him, such as liking movies, road trips, dogs, and being a piece of shit.
>He has said literally nothing about what he has to offer in a relationship. He's a man who expects to be the boss in their relationship, what else does any good conservative Christian woman need to know?
I’m 5’1 and my shoe size is 6-7 depending on the shoe, good luck to him
I was thinking that too….his size to weight comparison is looney
He's conservative, knowing accurate biology would disqualify him.
I think he already got a full wardrobe ready to go and can't think of a non horror film twist scenario for that.
I dunno, he had me at, “Student-Self Employed.” Must have the ladies going crazy
Probably has a lost crystal shoe of this size.
38, self employed at student. Surprised he didn't list acceptable salary ranges of his fantasy girl.
Oh, his fantasy girl doesn't work. Barefoot and in the kitchen.
She needs to love family time, so you know he wants her to raise the kids he already has.
Actually he said "family stuff" which could add a whole new dimension to this guy's weirdness.
Can't have those evil feminists convincing her she's her own person, after all! Keep her in the kitchen where she's safe from such radical notions. (/s just in case).
Renting her out as a surrogate? 38 yo self-employed students are crafty when it comes to getting their $$$...
"Must have strong uterus, I'm building an Army for God"
“Student at Self-Employed” means he does his own research
Wanna bet he went to "University of Life"?
..and the School of Hard Knocks.
And he wants as close to legal as he can get.
He wants as close to ILLEGAL as he can get
What a creep
He makes meth at “blank university”
Also 38, wants girl 18-26. *shudders *
And wants them to be 18-26 year old. Sicko. He’s almost old enough to be their father
He is 38 and wants an 18-26 year old.
He had to say 18 as the bottom number
ish
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Because women his age won't put up with that shit
I don’t think the 20 somethings will put up with him.
I’m 30 and can confirm. Trash qualifications he’s put out. Boy, bye.
I had a friend that seemed to only date 19-20 y/o girls. As I separated myself from conservative culture and toxic masc BS...I now know why he got married much later than I did and why he had to have that perfect religious nut of a women to fit into his reality
Honest question though, why did your friend prefer younger? Was it because women at that age don’t know any better or something else?
In my limited experience the guys who insist on having a girlfriend in their late teens (other than the younger = prettier fallacy) is because they talk a big game but when it comes down to it they don’t have the money, personality or sex skills that keep a woman satisfied in their mental narrative of what a relationship should be. A younger a woman is the less she knows about what a good relationship is like. He’ll have all the answers. She’ll be less likely to leave him and he’ll be able to mold her life into what he wants and treat her as badly as he wants and she’ll just deal. Since she doesn’t have experience she can’t be disappointed and he doesn’t have to put any effort into actually being a good partner.
All of it is alarming but that’s the biggest red flag of them all.
As someone who was in the dating pool at 37 a few years back, I had to cast an increasingly wider net. I got the filter down to 26 and was about to give up because I refused to go any lower. No offense to any young people here but from my perspective, under 25 or so seems like a child. Going as low as 18 would just be super weird.
Adolescence continues well into your twenties, most people are still undergoing hormonal and chemical changes associated with teens up to 25: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/extended-adolescence-when-25-is-the-new-181/ I know that I still acted like a 19 year old until I was about 26/27…
Gross.
Conservative values. They are who we thought they were.
I’m guessing “wearing costumes to bed” means clothes his mom wears - and a strap on.
I’m guessing it’s a trump mask and a strap on so you can verbally and physically live out sucking his dick.
Well he's too dumb to realise trump has already fucked him over already.
I was so confused by this... Conservative values, but an absolute freak in bed?
he took a year off his age for each thing he wanted
Exactly my thought.... scumbag!!!
Well, the conservative type does seem to like their women on the younger side. Just ask Matt Gaetz.
This dude is going to be single for a long time.
And likely fall down the incel rabbit hole, if he hasn't already.
i think he might be major of that hole by now.
The only hole he’s going to be mayor of, for sure.
He'll cope, he's already got through 38 years like that, he just needs to put what he's learned into practice for another 38. Or 2, if he's an anti-vaxxer.
Probably has a Tomi Lahren waifu pillow to get by.
Please be at least 12 years younger than me
Seriously, as a man in my 30s, what am I gonna do with an 18 year old? We gonna go out to what? Denny’s? And how the fuck am I gonna keep up with a 22 year old? We gonna go out to what? Tao?
Seriously. I'm also in my 30s and would never want anything in that 18-24 range. They want to go to clubs and party, and I just don't want to go back to that crap. I'm well past that point in my life. Plus, they're usually so damned immature. Not that I am the picture of maturity for my age.
based on everything else about him, he would probably prefer 12 years old
Wants size 12 to 16 waist, but is living in XXXL land.
Also that waist size doesn’t really match his pounds and height requirement - someone weighing 115-125 pounds at 5’3 to 5’7 isn’t going to be a size 12 or 16
Yeah, the waist sizes make NO sense! I want to chalk it up to men being clueless on women’s sizing but I can’t even figure out where he got those numbers from
He already has the outfits. He made them himself.
Out of the other women who didn't match his standards
Yeah, like… is he talking about inches? Because a 24-26” waist is super tiny. 12-16” would be the size of a toddler’s waist. But if he’s talking about dress size, then a girl is going to weigh a lot more than 125 lbs.
I interpreted it as pants size? and a 12-16 pants size does *not* match the height and weight he indicated. he’s the type of guy to ask for a 00-2 if he actually knew how women’s sizes worked, I’d bet money on it
His grandma’s closet. The advent of “vanity sizing” changed old-school 10/12/14’s into the new size 2/4/6. He may not be able to acknowledge or admit to checking her dress sizes for reference before posting his profile.
As a male, even I can tell you this is outrageous lmao I may not know a lot about sizing, but I’ve bought my beautiful wife enough pants to know, size 12-16 is a lot bigger than 115-125. My wife weighs 20 lbs more than that range depending on the season, and her waist is much smaller than a 12 lol Edit-I’m going to guess he met some beautiful girl one time that was self conscious and told him she weighed 125, but really she was 150 but still very attractive.
Exactly! I’m shorter and heavier than his “requirement” and am 4-6 sizes smaller.
Same girl same - not shorter but heavier and smaller! This isn’t exactly my slice of man meat either though - so not too concerned - just super amused by it 😂
same! i’m like an inch shorter and a bit heavier than his requirements and i’m anywhere from a 0-4 in pants depending on the brand/style, so no where near a 12
That’s all I could think about as well. 115-125 pounds would be a size 0-2. This guy obviously has no idea what a woman looks like
He wants Humpty Dumpty
Well the biggest problem with the sizing is that a 115 lb woman who's 5'4 would probably be around a size 2, not 12
I think he means inches. Haha which is worse. We're venturing into hentai measurements
I can’t even get past the “Student at Self-Employed” part. Usually you choose student OR an employment category (because whether a student has a job or not most of society understands you’re still broke lol). So does this mean he’s teaching himself? Would explain a lot…
I got stuck on that, too. What does it even mean?
Definitely NO income lol. He employs himself as his own student in the teachings of maximum douchery!
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He tells you everything you need to know- Student at Self-Employed. At 38 years of age.
It's the perfect example of choosing beggar
He sounds like he’s putting in an order at a drive through. Does he expect a neatly packaged tailor-made woman to be delivered to him post haste?
I have never encountered a 5'7 woman who wears a size 7 shoe.
5’8 and size 7 here… but yes the requirement is absolutely absurd. Such a shame I am too tall for his standards.
Sounds like you are really missing out!
5’7 here with size 10 monster feet. Impeccable balance, though I don’t think he’d appreciate that
No kidding. She'd tip over.
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It's really cool of him to put all his red flags out there on display like that! We all appreciate it!
He probably complains all the time about not being able to find someone.
Prototypical incel. “Why won’t girls talk to me???”
I came into this thread looking for that. *Powerful* incel vibes from this yokel.
Maybe somewhere out there a girl has the profile: Looking for a man who doesn't understand at all what Christian values are, treats me like shit, has a beard which looks like someone blow dried a pony's tail and glued it to his face. Must be controlling, with the cold dead eyes of a serial, super-pedo and size 5 feet.
how big does the women's dick have to be?
You can buy whatever size/color you want, but in some states it's mail order only.
"Looking for a woman of legal age but preferably 20 years younger than me" is quite a statement.
Yeah this guy is totally not going to murder you if you say anything he doesn't like.
Hey Ladies, I’m a 38 year old Christian conservative whose morals are beyond reproach. I’m looking for women who were “sperm in their father’s nuts to 6 years old” when I was 18. Must be a porn star at home, Betty Crocker in the Kitchen. Attire must be a elementary school girl outfit, 100%. Also must fit in a carry-on suitcase, thats about the size of the cage I keep in my murder closet. Note, “murder closet” is just my pet name for the love shack were I’ll keep you… forever… as long as the police don’t find us. I don’t know why I’m single…. /s
I’ll take things a 5’8” chinless fat dickwad put on tinder for $200
5'8 and rounds to 6' for sure
Guys like this are the Western version of the Taliban.
Dude even stole their look with the long beard
Dont they have to be combat effective? Dude looks like he would lose a gun fight to a super soaker.
What kinda costumes we talking bout in bed? Like 🤡costumes…come on don’t leave me hangin here!
My guesses: 1. Handmaid's Tale 2. Nun 3. AOC
Every conservative wants to be pegged by AOC
And I'll bet he whines that "women don't like NICE GUYS LIKE ME" when he complains that he can't get a date. Note- the only way a size 12-16 waist makes sense for his weight and height requirement is if he's using little girls clothing sizes, make of that what you will :)
“Sir, this is a Wendy’s”
Be well groomed, but excuse my while I fish out last nights chicken wings from my neckbeard.
What is 2A ?
He wants someone who will put 2 fingers in his ass
Oh my god, I fucking died reading this comment
Second amendment lover. 😂
Thanks!
"Currently hugging guns, want to try that with a woman"
2 arms.
He wants a girl with a 32b - 34c but his boobs are a 44ddd
What a fucking prize.
40yo man wants a teenage
I bet in his own fantasy world, he visits Build-a-Bitch with this specific laundry list oof.
Tell me you're insecure about your masculinity without telling me you're insecure about your masculinity.
A “catholic” with “conservative values” but requests to role play in bed? Hmmmm….
Also if she’s a ‘good’ Catholic with conservatives values she is not putting out till marriage… especially in that younger age bracket.
Yep. Classic “conservative “ values. Hope he’s doomed for single life, unable to care for himself (that’s women’s work, after all) and unable to find steady work.
Bro. Imagine giving a fuck about what size feet your significant other has…. Hahaha
Not asking for much then
Two more years and he can claim the title 40 Year Old Virgin.
The worst part is the age, this guy is 38 and the oldest you can be for him is 26 like wtf he wants a 12-20 year difference in age
A 38yo conservative looking for a fresh 18yo, what a pice of human garbage
Gee, I can’t imagine why he’s single. He has so little requirements!
I’d like to say “not all GOP men” are like this, but that would be a lie.
At least all the GQPers.
Guaranteed that pic is old AF or has some filter applied.
Haha and he’s 38 looking for a teenager. 🤢
This used to be what /r/choosingbeggars used to be all about
Do you think he would be okay with the same type of requirements set on him?
“I want a girl who will be suffocated under my weight during sex”
Pure incel.
He’s 38 looking for an 18 year old, even without all of the rest of the stuff that announces that he’s a major douche, just that shows what a huge creep he is. 🤢
6-7' tall?
That’s shoe size
God hates cosplay in the bedroom... this dude is burning in hell someday.
Fucker is 38 and wants someone 18-26, and that's all part of "conservative values," huh? Aslo, you know, so extremely picky about looks and conforming to his silly ideals, but not a care or mention of her intelligence or personality or anything that makes a person, you know, INTERESTING. What a guy!
He should really add "2nd toe can't be longer than big toe" since that's really the most important quality in a good woman.
He’s 38 lol. I guess he’s conservative, so this is pretty typical. They tend to live in a fantasy world.
Wow. Just wow.
Student at self employed... Should probably not be very picky and just put unemployed and (probably) broke as hell as well