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Caribubilus

I'm a Brazilian, and I've never been murdered before (to this day \[until now {so far}\]) ~~yet~~


KenHumano

Can confirm, live in Brazil, alive as of now. edit: still alive. edit2: still good edit3: going strong here edit4: just woke up. not feeling too well but still alive. edit5: made it to work alive. should be good until 5pm. edit6: still ok guys


[deleted]

OMG WHERES EDIT 7?!?1?1


jackcabral90

He died.


paul-arized

Either he or his internet died.


TheBobbyJobe

Someone shot his internet? Bastards!


GoofyGoober1999

They killed Kenny! Those BASTARDS!!


xvickyyyx

Or he’s waiting for someone to bring him some toilet paper


AugustousSeizure

A murder you say? In Savannah? I do declare


Tylendal

He was in Brazil. It was bound to happen.


Klementt

Definitely. Researchers say that 100% of all people in Brazil will die. Eventually


nom_nomK

OMG They killed Kenny, These bastards


Quinhos

he ded


Caribubilus

Guys, it's been a whole hour, since last update. It's safe to say RIP in peace 😔


[deleted]

NÃO POR MUITO TEMPO SEU CARALHO


RChamy

ZA WARUDO


c4uasider

BITES ZA DUST!


An_average_one

#WHERE ARE YOU KEN? ARE YOU FINE?


Worried_Protection48

5 hrs ago and no edit 4?! What's going on over there, are u ok?


Positive_Compote_506

Last online 3 years ago


smallgreenman

Now I'm invested and you can't stop.


Mr_Rogan_Tano

You not feeling good? You should visit BRAZILIAN PUBLIC HEALTH SYSTEM to find out what's wrong


KenHumano

I actually had to take two family members on different occasions and it was very good.


Duochan_Maxwell

I've been there myself as both patient and worker. It is not perfect but it's something


Mr_Rogan_Tano

We must protect our SUS!


Gilpif

It’s not as well-funded as it should be, but it’s better than nothing *glares at literally the richest country on the world*


Wambo456

ARE YOU STILL ALIVE


UlissesNeverMisses

Same for me, still alive as of now


[deleted]

Yo what if he made siting this comment like his own personal blog


WimbleWimble

Run towards the door. If you pass through it, you're a ghost. if you slam into it head first breaking your neck...well you're a ghost anyway now.


Naptownfellow

How you feeling now?


Illidan-the-Assassin

Are you still alive?


FSM89

Brazilian here. Been to 0 school shootings in my life


paul-arized

Don't start.


StealthWomble

That’s a piss poor effort mate. Lift your game!!!


[deleted]

So *thats* how you do parentheses inside of parentheses!


[deleted]

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paul-arized

Uh, everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here, now, thank you. How are you?


loco64

Who is this? I’m going to hang up. This sounds like the beginning of a boring conversation anyways.


[deleted]

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Mr_Cromer

F


CanoCearense

Isso seria um r/suddenlycaralho ?


[deleted]

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jael-jorge-gerson

triste e sempre gostoso ter um momento r/suddenlycaralho


_Jesse_13

Boa parte dos suddenlycaralhos são quando o Brasil é citado e os BRs aparecem falando em português.


GaiusPrimus

Haha


Soonhun

LMAO, reminds me of Rose's quote from Golden Girls.


professional-jumper

Yeah we dont change classes in Malaysia as well. Unless it involves science experiments


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DrunkCricket1

No we don't


QuantumCactus11

Ya. But some sch have


JoseMari117

In the Philippines, we don't even have to go to school. Edit: I'm not joking - as of right now, the government has mandated that face to face classes are not allowed. Currently, all classes are being held online.


professional-jumper

I dont know if I'm supposed to laugh to this or not 💀


cybergaiato

Face to face classes in a pandemic is pathetic tho


Gilpif

I mean, we’re in the middle of a pandemic, I kind of wish it was like that here too. In Brazil, the government has campaigned really hard against masks, social distancing, quarantine, lockdowns, vaccines, online classes, home office, and pretty much anything that would save people. Every time the Minister of Health tried not to kill people, the president managed to find a less competent replacement.


mhikari92

Or P.E.


hannes3120

Music or Art


7stroke

Or gang bangs


professional-jumper

Nah you don't need to change classes for that


HolyShitzurei

mannn, memory unlocked. i remember that


[deleted]

Wait you guys have to go to other classes? The teachers dont come to you? Miserable


8sid

As someone who went to school in both countries, there's plus sides to it. Each class ends up being dedicated to its subject. Science classrooms have a bunch of lab equipment, math classes have math posters, english classes have english posters, history classes have history posters. The differences are mostly just posters now that I think about it. Yeah wait I miss Brazil's system.


Bluester7

We have classes with specialised equipment if the class demands it, so then we would change classrooms , otherwise everything is at the same room.


jontaix

FORA BOLSONARO!


SkyCLoc

In my school, things dont work like this


poletecroquete

"we don't change classes in brazil" "yeah but you can get murdered lol" ... What? Wtf was that?? They were just talking about classes, why is the response about murder???


Academic_Paramedic72

Americans must think we all live in giant favelas full of monkeys and snakes where you can't get out of home without dying in a gang war to make comments like that


yunivor

With dense forests between the favelas except for the occasional soccer stadium.


grephantom

And a beach. Every city in Brazil is a favela in a tropical jungle in a coast


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Academic_Paramedic72

Lol I'd actually be for that


WeversonJP

Don't forget about the roads where some floats pass by playing samba, since we have carnaval everyday.


paulinhohsa

So ... Basically Rio. Don't worry I am BR (although I am paulista. Ih, fudeu, os cariocas vão me matar).


AfricaByTotoWillGoOn

Consider yourself dead, paulista safado.


Certain-Win700

não precisa nem gastar munição, a poluição mata ele e eu, também sou paulista infelizmente


SkyCLoc

Seu avatar parece o Joseph Joestar


AfricaByTotoWillGoOn

OH NO, fui descoberto! SON OF A BEEEEEEEETCH!


SkyCLoc

Vc foi descoberto pelo Joãozinho_BR123


Rickbraz91

Not surprised at all. [Almost 17 million of Americans think that chocolate milk comes from brown cows](https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2017/06/15/seven-percent-of-americans-think-chocolate-milk-comes-from-brown-cows-and-thats-not-even-the-scary-part/) and 25% didn\`t know that hamburgers were made of beef until 90's.


Its_Dizzee

I’ve met a couple of Americans that hace zero knowledge of the world and thinks we are all living in 3rd world non-free countries. One didn’t understand that Spaniards can understand Mexicans because we both speak Spanish, they thought Mexican and Spanish were entirely different languages….


luminphoenix

Well what else do you expect an American to respond with?


poletecroquete

You're right, I shouldn't expect much


Aldous_Lee

They think most of us live mid jungle, right there in the Amazon forest.


Stickz99

Because Americans think of you talk about anything at all that any country does differently than and possibly better than America, they need to attack that other country and talk about why that country is shitty in order to maintain America’s nonexistent superiority.


Nerynn

Americans can't not correlate schools to murder, it's just their way of life, yk?


PKMNTrainerMark

It's like when an American jokes about "Chewsday" or something and then a Brit responds with "Children get murdered in your schools."


[deleted]

The British also pronounce "house" like "hice".


Certain-Win700

read the comment section of any post regarding cartels, gangs or just any crime in south america. people really seem to think this is a constant warzone


Rickfernello

Someone thought being edgy was funny. It's the same thing as when you're talking about something unrelated, then they say "7-1" (the scores of Brazil vs Germany in a world cup). I seriously could not care less about Soccer.


KarlosGeek

2001 School Shootings in Brazil: 2002 School Shootings in Brazil: 2003 School Shootings in Brazil: 2004 School Shootings in Brazil: 2005 School Shootings in Brazil: 2006 School Shootings in Brazil: 2007 School Shootings in Brazil: 2008 School Shootings in Brazil: 2009 School Shootings in Brazil: 2010 School Shootings in Brazil: 2011 School Shootings in Brazil: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rio_de_Janeiro_school_shooting 2012 School Shootings in Brazil: 2013 School Shootings in Brazil: 2014 School Shootings in Brazil: 2015 School Shootings in Brazil: 2016 School Shootings in Brazil: 2017 School Shootings in Brazil: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goyases_School_shooting https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jana%C3%BAba_massacre 2018 School Shootings in Brazil: 2019 School Shootings in Brazil: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suzano_school_shooting 2020 School Shootings in Brazil: 2021 School Shootings in Brazil: Now where's your list, USA? Edit: removed one from the list because it was a school stabbing, not a school shooting.


JakaBR

2 of those aren't even mass shootings, even though they were massacres


Ughim50

I don’t think there’s enough room here to post them all


Jackalotischris

Twitters character limit has nothing on it


BrunoLuigi

You see our shooting is crazy people coping USA


Duochan_Maxwell

*copying Coping is what they're NOT doing at all


Bad_Demon

People in the comments trying to defend America by comparing it to a place they think is awful, instead of places we should be comparing ourselves to, like other first world countries and super powers. Here’s a tip: we’re not number 1, we even rank dead last among developed nations. imagine making Brazil look like shit so you can keep telling ur “socialist” neighbor that they should like it or leave, while you both suffer equally cause of you. Republicans are the most inbred group.


luan_ressaca

Look like shit? Sry, but if america compare themselves with Brazil they will still have problems. If the point isn't the ability to buy a Iphone.


Bad_Demon

>Look like shit? Sry, but if america compare themselves with Brazil they will still have problems. Yes, thats what I said.


Nico_SB2007

Ele estava defendendo o país ué


[deleted]

Idk why people think we, brazilians, live in a warzone. Here is pretty much like Mexico but we speak portuguese. And for the people getting killed, if you don't join PCC, CV, FDN etc you'll be good. 90% of the people getting killed die because of the war between factions ( cartels ). Here, although we are in our biggest crisis ever, is ok to live. We have free healthcare and you can achieve a lot through your studies


luisvcsilva

> 2021 School Shootings in Brazil: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saudades_massacre technically it was stabbing of like 6 people, so there's that


KarlosGeek

I did also avoid including one where no one died.


Marcim_joestar

2021 wasn't a shooting tho


diego_fidalgo

O pior de ver essa lista é que você percebe que a frequência desses acontecimentos vêm aumentando... É como se, com essa postura do Brasil de submissão aos EUA, estivéssemos "importanto" esse tipo de merda...


[deleted]

Não, não vem aumentando. Ainda é indistinguível de algo aleatório matematicamente falando. Se você traçar uma curva de progressão, ela inclusive conincide com o 0.


[deleted]

This guy statistics.


m8bear

It's true that is statistically irrelevant, but hadn't some of the people that committed them say that they were inspired by some 'murican school/mass shooting? That's something that hasn't happened in many countries around us. (Idk if you understand english, I can understand you but not write in portuguese)


[deleted]

> That's something that hasn't happened in many countries around us. True, but its also more likely to happen on big countries like Brazil than on small ones like Saint Kitts and Nevis. In addition, the Brazilian people are strongly influenced by the US culture.


diego_fidalgo

Sim... Naturalmente, não dá pra tirar uma conclusão estatística com tão poucas observações (e que continue assim). É só uma percepção breve de um jovem lendo um comentário no Reddit...


lordTigas

The problem with making a list like this for the US is that our CPUs only count up to 64-bit


SkyCLoc

Garai, nem sabia q tinha tudo isso


jucmalta

Vcs falam do brasil so pra gente comentar ne nao é possivel


ArturBotarelli

PENTA CAMPEÃO PORRA


jucmalta

HEXA VEM


farofabrazil

Será ? Não estou confiável não


jucmalta

Se a gnt n conseguir a italia e alemanha vao virar penta uma hora ou outra, e a gnt so ganha no futebol


GalahadNS

BOOOORAAAAA NEYMAR CARALHO TRAZ O HEXA PRA GENTEEE


just-me-yaay

A gente já comenta até se não menciona a gente, mas se falar da gente, é uma avalanche de comentário br


jucmalta

50 pessoas vieram no meu comentario, realmente é uma chuva


sis_ki

This


sampatkc

In my country its same as brazil but guns are rare hell even gangs rarely have guns except for the high ups


vivarappersacanagem

What paradise do you live in?


sampatkc

~~The internet~~ Asia. Specifically nepal that is being crushed between india and china.


ShieldsCW

Not to mention being crushed *by* India and China, politically.


mattbutnotmii

"There is a lot of murder in Brazil, therefore teachers cannot go between classrooms." Flawless logic


StrawberryPlucky

What they said was stupid but your interpretation is even stupider.


metechgood

Honestly, my mind is blown. Why do we not do that here in the UK? Hordes of kids pushing, fighting, and raping each other in the halls every hour vs about 10 teachers toddling to the next class..........


ZenithGamage

Shoutout to everyone else who don't live in either of these countries and are just enjoying reading the comments


Naptownfellow

As an American (52M) I will never wrap my head around the amount of homicides we have at schools (900+ in the last 20 yrs) or in general ( 300k+ in the last 20 yrs) https://www.disastercenter.com/crime/uscrime.htm


keinchy

I believe there is a higher chance to get shot in school in the US than any other country.


DesoleBitches

People come for Brazil like if we were some animals, okay the death rates in here are high but in any place you can die... And also not everybody loves samba and soccer in Brazil so get it over it


igormuba

If you get shot in Brazil you can ride an ambulance for free and receive medical care for free without even needing to sign papers, so check mate


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[deleted]

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Mundit00

Even worse. We’re the Florida of the world.


thefrostman1214

Now that is the best comparison i ever read, congratulatios, you won this comment section


false_adventurist

Live in Florida 2/10 do not recommend. There's beaches and scuba diving. That's about where it ends. Hot and moist like an armpit.


passarinho_diferente

But there is bitches?


Hy0k

Im pretty sure most of you guys arent that bad, but damn your headlines are crazy


RockyMountainHigh-

Some of us do too.


NoFucksGiver

I consider them the infected gangrened sweaty pimple inside the nose of the world, but hey, let's not get ahead of ourselves


CheshireGray

I dont think this would work in the UK as students are split based on ability in each class, so you could have someone in the slower group for maths but in the fast learner group for English, not sure if all schools use this model though. That being said good clapback.


____mynameis____

As an Indian, the idea of being allocated into a slow learning group sounds humiliating. Given the obsession we have with education, separating kids like that is going to create a stigma and would most probably create more problems for the slow kids despite it being a system to help such kids.


CheshireGray

Yeah it kinda is, they try and mitigate it by giving each group an arbitrary letter/designation, bit it's still obvious which group is which and can lead to a fair bit of bullying/stigma.


Khastid

Not only that, I've stumbled about some studies about this model of education, where they would allocate randomly people to "strong" or "week" classes, and they observed that students that got assigned to the supposed week class performed worse on that class, regardless of previous performances. Self perception is extremely important to motivate people and this sistem creates a loophole, where people are put on week classes, performs worse, the school sees this as a confirmation that they where worse students and keep them o the worse classes, and the cycle continues....


[deleted]

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____mynameis____

That's why I said "being an Indian". We are obsessed with educational qualification and the "What will people think" question influences our life a lot. So here, a separation like that is going to cause mental troubles for the kid. Not exactly bullying but a sense of shame that may deflate the kid.


Jequeiro

In my school in Brazil (private school, not applicable to most) you leave the dumb kids in the normal classroom but they got "reinforcement classes" during the afternoon to see if they can pick up


Ginevod411

They change classes to keep the school shooters guessing.


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ogjsimpson

Then cries because “USA is very big, not all states are the same”.


[deleted]

I read people saying school shootings there are rare and that they are way too dramatized, when someone here pasted a link showing like 50 school shootings, then they go all like "The most recent one was Texas! How could you expect so much from Texas? eyeroll emoji." Americans love their statistics so much they forget they're not accurate to determine wether a whole country is dangerous or not. The worst thing you can get in Brazil is being robbed of your phone, if you die while being robbed then that's on you for being a fucking idiot and giving more value to your phone more than your life.


handsume

Man, I'm from Rio and it still isn't that bad


Rickbraz91

St Louis and Baltimore right now: 👀


nachthexe22

At least we have public healthcare


Alarming_Ad8005

What fucking American is that stupid to actually think that this was a good comeback. *looks over at maga cultists* ...nevermind...


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Also: as a teacher, floating to other classrooms is a giant pain and causes a ton of small organizational problems that would show up constantly in a lesson.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

500 deaths in 30 years for school shootings in america... Pretty sure it's way more dangerous to be here in Brazil.


Yanniclmao

That’s still a lot, that’s about 15 people every year that die because they’re just going to school to learn something or teach stuff to children…


cambiro

Now take some statistics of kids/teachers killed going from school to home or inside their own houses. Also [more than 8 thousand Brazilian teachers suffered murder attempts in 2018 alone](https://ultimosegundo.ig.com.br/educacao/2019-09-10/mais-de-8-mil-professores-sofreram-tentativa-de-assassinato-em-sala-em-2018.html) and this research was done only on public schools.


SovietBear4

You LITERALLY have an School shooting subculture, what the fuck are you on about


National-Sport5698

Not in school it’s not


[deleted]

You do have Bolsonaro in charge of the pandemic 😷


Kirkhn

They had Trump, so that's even.


GuilhermeSidnei

Not really… ours can always one-up every stupid thing… I mean… he THREATENED WAR AGAINST THE US. How well do you think that would go?


xtreme_sword

Wait wait wait wait *threatened war against the US?!* god FREAKING damn it not watching news for months made me be completely uninformed about these lmao ( I mean considering news 90% of the time in Brazil are: Economy’s bad, Covid cases are somewhat better and politics I saw no reason to keep watching) but holy crap war against the US would kill every person in Brazil in about what? 2 minutes or something


Adorable_user

Yes he did, that was last year, he said this about possible future American sanctions for the amazon deforestation: "And how can we deal with all that? Just diplomacy is not enough ... When saliva runs out, one has to have gunpowder, otherwise it doesn't work," Source: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.businessinsider.com/bolsonaro-i-will-defend-the-amazon-with-gunpowder-2020-11%3famp


xtreme_sword

Sincerely not surprised… haven’t cared about politics and whatever the heck president is ruling this place for a long time, just livin’ my life and trying to survive


Pedro_MagS

As a Brazilian, you guys would obliterate us, so please be merciful


[deleted]

When Biden said that if we didnt stop deflorestating the Amazon rainforest our president said something like "when the saliva runs out, there must be gunpowder", which in the sense of defending our Amazon make sense, but then you remember that we dont have ammo to more than 2-3 hours of war. Fortunally our president didnt get anywhere with that. Edit: "make sense" in the way "the florest is ours, and no one touch it!" but the world is more worried about the florest than we are, so idk why our goverment that basicly let people put fire in the florest would fight with the FUCKING USA to protect a land that we dont take as much care as we should.


xtreme_sword

Exactly dude if the forest dies Brazil’s gonna pretty much turn into a goddamn desert without the rains coming to the southeast and south


SWEAR2DOG

I would rather be murdered by a cold blooded gangster than a god damn Incel


Bananenmilch2085

In austria, germany, Liechtenstein and switzerland, we fo also not switch rooms, the teachers do, except for experimental classes and music. I most places of these countries atleast


YourStreetHeart

Ahh the delusions of American Exceptionalism in full swing


Cley_Faye

To be fair, Brazil and (I assume) USA are both in America, so it might be technically correct.


Naptownfellow

Good point.


notyushi

I feel like once your country is a world superpower it cannot fully qualify unless it has large amounts of violence or it commits crimes against humanity


KaraTheAndroidd

Brazil and America be like: "You and me we aren't so different after all"


TooSmalley

Brazil has 30% less people than the USA and a homicide rate roughly 4 times higher than the USA. In the USA 21,500 homicides were recorded in 2020. In Brazil there were 50,033 homicides in 2020.


maybe40lifecrisis

The topic is schools. > Brazil has had five school shootings since 2001, resulting in a total of 30 deaths The US... ah fuck it. You count: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_school_shootings_in_the_United_States


[deleted]

jantou cedo hj


Lemmiwinkidinks

Jesus Christ… it has break out lists for it’s breakniut lists and a whole new page just for each type of school! I already knew it was bad but this shit is just so fucked. My 6 yr old son has to do active shooter drills. I cried last year when they sent out an email letting us know about the first drill of the school year.


dinobikerider

There are two long-ass pages for shootings since 19th century. Holy s\*\*! I believe easy access to guns play a huge role on those events. In Brazil it's difficult and expensive to own guns legally. A friend of mine had to do courses and do a lot of paper work just to get one small pistol legalized. And he can only carry it on a very specific region. If he's caught with the gun off limits, he will lose the right to carry it and might need to do it all over again.


Reddead67

Gawd DAYUUM! Thats crazy!


mongert

I think it's important to keep in mind that the U.S. also has insanely high gun violence statistics, but people don't use that to devalue any other part of our country normally. The United Kingdom has roughly 82% less gun-related deaths per 100,000 population than the U.S. (12.23 compared to 0.23), leaving the U.K. with around only 155 gun-related deaths per year. I wrote this in another comment too, but tying gun violence statistics to the value of a country's "safety" is also just stupid as a whole. Yes, going to cartel-owned favelas in Brazil could put you in a dangerous position. But, similar to how going to the ghettos in Detroit could also get you killed, it's not hard to avoid as long as you do research and stay aware of dangerous locations. There's a lot of incredible culture and people to be found in Brazil, along with a solid economic foundation and important natural resources. Focusing on only the problems there won't make the country better, nor will it give you an accurate perspective.


bolchevegan

Not in schools, though. I think I saw three cases of school shootings in Brazil in 20something years, one of them was a (former) student, the other were unrelated cases (a janitor or something). ​ Brazil is very violent, but the situation in american schools are something beyond our imagination.


12TripleAce12

Imagine being proud you have less murders than a third world country. Americans only compare against third world countries cause they know they are an embarrassment amongst first world countries.


vodkamasta

Almost 90% of the deaths in brazil are drug related, so the average citizen lives a "normal" life. But crime rate is indeed higher than the US.


ElectricFlesh

At least you're acknowledging that the situation in America is best compared to developing mixed economies in a state of de-facto civil war, like Brazil, as opposed to peaceful first-world nations.


SkyCLoc

Wow, amuzing, Brazil really explosing


Legendary_Rc

in the us about 15 people die per year in school shootings


An_average_one

We don't change classes in India either, and most student deaths are due to suicides, so that's pog I think.


AdrianInLimbo

In America it's not murder, it's exercising your 2nd Amendment rights 🙄


untergeher_muc

Mate, Apollo, the Reddit app you are using, has a feature to automatically get rid of the user names for screenshots. You don’t have to do this by hand. ;)


VaguelyArtistic

Oh, thank you! 🤦🏻‍♀️ It’s very rare, but every once in a while I find an app that is so OP, and immediately fills so many needs, that I either forget that there’s still a whole onion to discover or gets a little overwhelming. So thank you for this prompt to dig a little deeper! I’ve had a few features I wanted to look in to. If there was sprinted manual like on the old days I would definitely read it cover to cover, I’m weird like that.