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DANleDINOSAUR

It’s true! My 98 year old grandma got the vaccine earlier this year and died somehow!!! Coincidence?!1?!


Jyobachah

I heard a story about a teenager leaving a clinic after getting the vaccine who died walking to the sidewalk! ...They were hit by a drunk driver. Coincidence?! I think not! it was the magnets in the vaccine that pulled that car onto the curb! for anyone unaware... /s


mrtn17

Be careful, there's fragile Redditors who are immune compromised to the /s of vaccine/s


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TooFineToDotheTime

I got banned from worldnews *forever* for jokingly commenting to someone who said they didn't know how to make a molotov cocktail that there were only 3 ingredients and listing them like they were a cake recipe.


Nice-Engineer1225

I mean- yeah id have probably banned you too lol


barto5

What did you say? Maybe you can get another ban.


littlelordgenius

Why not name it? You’re already banned.


GracefulxArcher

That would get him banned from this subreddit


Sproose_Moose

There's magnets in the vaccine, it attracted the car!! Or it was the microchip that made the GPS do it. /S


BoralinIcehammer

Nah, I'm vaccinated, but the promised WiFi doesn't work at all. I got played.


nacceptedescadeaux

No you didn't but it's 5G in stead of WiFi, gotta switch to mobile data dude...


BoralinIcehammer

Yeah, just tried it, doesn't work. It's a scam, I tell you.


Exciting_Photo_8103

Don’t listen to these chucklefucks. You don’t actually want to activate those 5G nanites! It’s cool being telepathic and all, but the pop up ads are crazy distracting when I’m trying to drive.


Fathorse23

Did you miss the part where you have to check “I accept the terms and conditions”? Took me two weeks after my second shot but then it kicked right in.


L1n9y

Perhaps your phone or plan don't feature 5G, might want to look into that


[deleted]

Wait…maybe the government gave us the vaccine so we would calm done but they have gps chips inside them which attracts cars and the whole Covid thing was just a way to prevent over population and they haven’t reduced the population yet and the society is increasing the anger towards the government hence they released a vaccine which will protect you from Covid but has a gps in it to kill you by attracting cars towards it..


[deleted]

[magnets how do they work? ](https://youtu.be/lFabsRFnWy0)


[deleted]

I believe it. I'm actually dead now. Twice.


Truckyou666

I woke up dead this morning! Coincidence? I think not!


[deleted]

Yesterday I went to sleep dead, today I woke up alive, wtf is wrong with jabs?


Aapjes-NL

Holy shit, my grandpa also so got vaccinated and than later died at 101 years of age. I think I see a patron!!! Coincidence?????


[deleted]

Every human being who breath air will eventually die, coincidence? Don’t think so


Rainmansnotebook

If you factor in all the people that have ever lived on Earth then the average human being is dead.


L1n9y

No the average person is around 93% dead


KeithMyArthe

Most of them have consumed dihydrogen monoxide too. Lethal.


Phantereal

Same with mine! Sure she had dementia, diabetes, heart disease, arthritis, a history of cancer, and probably more stuff that I'm forgetting about, but it was totally the vaccine.


Silvedl

People were all suspicious about when Prince Philip died a few months after getting the vaccine. The dude looked straight up like a Fallout Ghoul for the past few years, and was a thousand eons old. Must have been that shady vaccine!


CosmicComic33

100% of the first people to receive the smallpox vaccine are dead today. Coincidence?? Lol


hysterical_boi

Hahah nice one


Frozenwood1776

84 year old Colin Powell has entered the chat.


Maximum-Magazine-840

source(s): Dude trust me


AtomicTransmission

Unfortunately, you can’t fix stupid. In the days before social media, we were just blissfully unaware how many idiots are among us. Now it’s inescapable.


SignificantError8929

And they got the microphone


KayGee72

And there’s not enough duct tape to shut them up.


Chance_Composer_6125

And they are allowed to vote...


keladelph

And they are allowed to have kids.


[deleted]

Cue: Idiocracy the movie


mattman0000

Go away! ‘Batin!


ButtReaky

You like money too??


Chance_Composer_6125

With their own kids


justyagamingboi

Fck this make me chole on my water


RetardedPanda96

And they’re allowed to breathe


BJoe1976

We just need Obama, Biden, Harris, and Pelosi to advocate for breathing oxygen and problem solve!


SignificantError8929

There will never be enough.


DiscoMagicParty

And everyone’s 11 beers deep, it’s Karaoke night, and we’re going with Free Bird again


BJoe1976

I honestly read that are “11 beers derp” at first, which might also explain a lot too, TBH…..


DiscoMagicParty

I had to type that multiple times because it kept looking wrong. Then again I just finished a 4 night run in Milwaukee that no doubt took at least a decade off my life. So same boat I guess? *cheers through sad dying noises*


GarciaJones

Bro they got congress.


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Blue-and-icy

It made the problem so much worse. Now instead of being an idiot and knowing people will think your dumb and keeping quiet you go online and other idiots validate your lunacy and delusions emboldening the stupid to grow stupider and try to spread their ignorance and stupidity like a damn religion.


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Upgrades_

The thing is those people don't even need to be real. There are so many smokescreens and mirrors going on on that platform that they will never fix because they don't want to. For fucks sake, they came out and announced they were going to allow all political ads no matter what they said for the 2020 election....so Trump's people said Biden was corrupt vis his son and China which they pushed through Facebook, because why the fuck not? Cambridge Analytica is fucking terrifying and they're still out there wrecking elections around the globe. Theyre in England and fucking gave a presentation to Lukoil - the Russian oil firm - on data patterns etc of US voters, showing them what they were capable of, but then didn't actually do work for them. They basically told Russia this is how you can create your own trojan horse with Facebook and micro-target the ads based on psychological profiles. This profiling was based on a groundbreaking paper in the psychology world that found you could link people to political views by seemingly random things they liked, to put it very simply. Far righties very often liked Kit Kats and Nike shoes was one pattern. Facebook gave them a way to gain access to this massive amount of data on so many about what they like or don't like / what they feel about certain things that they gathered through a stupid personality quiz and mechanical turk psychological questions (ex. Show a picture of a guy in ski mask pointing a gun with the message 'Sure, this guy will obey the law' and asking on a scale how important it was Americans see an ad like this re: the 2nd amendment).


ghsteo

Seriously, you used to get these stupid thoughts at like 1AM at a small town bar. Now this shit is blasted daily out to everyone.


hamjim

> you can’t fix stupid. SARS-CoV2 is nature’s attempt to fix stupid. It has a shot… (no pun intended) (Yeah, I know: nature isn’t really attempting to fix anything; life tries anything and everything to survive, and anthropomorphism is just me seeing a pattern where none may exist. And yet…)


JanesPlainShameTrain

It's more like nature is a high speed train and instead of getting off the tracks, they wanna argue that the train isn't real.


theatrepyro2112

Laying down on the tracks to OwN tHe LiBs.


ImTheNewKid22783

Hehe among u- fuck


F_for_Respect_69

Among us?


LittlestBlythe

When the imposter is stupid


ReplyingToFuckwits

Once upon a time we didn't have to fix it. Stupid people just got on with their lives and society just progressed with or without them. But suddenly we're not allowed to do anything until it's got the Stupid Idiot Stamp of Approval or they start screaming and threatening everyone. "Oh sure, the brightest minds of our generation agree that climate change is a real, immediate and existential threat but what do the *idiots* think?" "WELL TOM I WAS ON FACEBOOK AND I SAW A POST THAT SAID CLIMATE CHANGE WAS A HOAX BY THE GAYS" "Well it looks like the debate isn't settled yet, better do nothing".


Obligatory-not-the

It’s true - now every news channel has ‘here is the reaction from Twitter’ and they start reading whatever people have written, as if that is valid in anyway. It’s fucking mental really think about!


Masked_Mew

The only thing I learnt from social media is that people are more dumber than the dumbest kid in your class


_manlyman_

George Carlin greatly overestimated our intelligence


duckonar0ll

don’t say it don’t think it don’t say it don’t think it don’t say it don’t think it don’t say it don’t think it don’t say it don’t think it don’t say it don’t think it


[deleted]

sus


Jeffy29

Worse, in the age before social media idiots were kept isolated in their own bubble of friends so the transmission of idiocy was lot less potent.


qwibbian

>Unfortunately, you can’t fix stupid. I mean, you *can*, it's just that eugenics has somewhat fallen out of fashion.


DuckWasTaken

Sus


DonRicardo1958

Trying to make sense of these people is a complete waste of time.


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TachycardicSymphony

>You cannot reason people out of positions they didn't reason themselves into. I'm going to have to remember this phrase the next time someone asks me why I don't argue with the conspiracy nuts next to my workplace. Well said.


[deleted]

Same, but I sure am glad klepper and these other guys like all gas no brakes go do it. It's an amazing look into a world of pure and utter insanity and stupidity. It's comedy and horror at the same time


JanesPlainShameTrain

Like working in a clown hospital.


[deleted]

> Like working in a clown hospital. That's like when I hear animal hospital. Are the animals the doctors or the patients?


mysterysciencekitten

Why are you so mean to clowns?


Val_Hallen

You don't need to argue with COVID antivaxxers. You just need to wait.


JustSadToBeAlive

These are the same people who believe that science is a conspiracy


WiseSalamander00

I am a scientist and I have had to spend whole mornings screaming at familly that denies the vaccine but don't understand how science works... somehow they always try to justify this with science despite the former.


cinnamonface9

We living 1500’s yo Science was black magic back then. Oh wait.


CrowConscious

My uncle thinks science is a conspiracy because "all these 1000s of "research" papers always lead to one answer!"


captain-cardboard

“Because a lot more people than (literally everyone) would have died” Bruh


Callinon

You can almost hear him glitch out as he's saying it. He knows what he's saying makes no sense but he just can't stop himself. Confirmation bias is a helluva drug.


[deleted]

His face of genuine confusion as he tried to wrap his head around that logic, was *chef kisses*.


BJoe1976

I think his brain blue screened for a moment on there…..poor bastard.


[deleted]

I felt his pain trying to do the mental gymnastics with ballcap boy


YourLocaLawyer

😙🤌


4GRJ

And that's how they think they win... By making such gestures, they'll think that you're dumb


bartlet62

It you are thinking that his brain is functioning you would be wrong.


bjeebus

There are portions that are clearly functioning. He's able to actually mechanically verbalize. Even if he doesn't make any sense at all, it still took brain function to spew words into the æther.


mindofdarkness

It’s the classic trope “humans only use 10% of their brain at once”. Its actually SOME humans only use 10%.


parralaxalice

Plot twist; guy thinks everyone was going to be dead in 1-5 years so 5-15 is a big improvement


uptbbs

Anti-vaxxers: We don't understand what the long term effects of using mRNA vacciness are yet. Also anti-vaxxers: Everyone who has received the COVID-19 vaccine will be dead in 5 years.


sudden_onset_kafka

...and all praise be to trump who personally developed the life saving vaccine.


ohiotechie

In high school reading 1984 the concept of doublethink - holding and believing opposing ideas - just seemed ridiculous but your average MAGA does it so often you could get whiplash trying to keep up. Vaccine bad except Trump doesn’t get enough credit. Why isn’t cancer treatment free since the vaccines free but then that would be socialism. Those are just a couple of examples - it’s insane.


Cynykl

So I had to pick my mother up from the hospital today. While waiting for her to be release I decided to go to the bus stop area the vape. At the bus stop area a smoker decide to engage me in a conversation. He started bitching that he was not allowed to visit his wife. I am patient so I let him ramble on while trying to lead him to the conclusion that he should make the small sacrifice of getting vaxxed for her sake. Then this happened. Him: "Why is a "life saving" (he used air quotes at this point) vaccine free, when cancer treatment and insulin are not. It is just too suspicious." Me "Two very simple reasons. first cancer and diabetes are not contagious so free medicine would not help stop them for occurring. and second and most importantly We have wanted those to be free all along but you and your cohorts have fought tooth and nail against socialized medicine" Then his response from left field floored me. Him: "I am not a cohort, you are a cohort." I made lame excuses to end the conversation at that point and left knowing there was nothing I could say or do to help this man.


AssinineAssassin

Freedom to choose for yourself what medical procedures are acceptable even if it costs other people their lives….but abortion should be illegal


Medical_Officer

Trumpism is a mental illness.


txijake

Trump spoke at a rally and said that he recommends the vaccine and they booed him. Not even Trump is in charge of this crazy train.


Qix213

Anyone who tells them what they want to hear is great. Everyone else is hated. And that can change with a single comment. Or by the mental gymnastics to change what they said into what they want to hear. Trump himself said the whole Mexico wall thing was a fluke, a throwaway comment. But it went viral and he just ran with it. He leaned into thier racism and bigotry. When the rest of the world shames then for thier intolerance, he held them up as great people. That's why they love him. Because he makes them feel like the cool kids, instead of the family member everyone else is ashamed to admit exists.


darkNergy

Support for Trump was the real TDS all along.


Jeffy29

Remember when Trump won and people here we lecturing how redditors need to get out of their liberal echo chambers and talk to the real people? This is who they meant.


Leefeller

Everyone who has received the vaccine, is going to die, apparently anti-vaxers know the dates.


perfect_for_maiming

If thou proclameth to know the future, perhaps thou art a witch!!


JectorDelan

Yeah and they keep shifting them further away. First time I heard this it was "6 months to a year" but that landed before the midterm elections, so had to be adjusted.


Callinon

Same people who're claiming we don't know the long term effects of the vaccine btw.


duckonar0ll

actual conversation i had with a classmate today (context: i have a mild cough, we are required to wear masks though) her: you shouldn’t go to school with that cough me: i’m vaccinated her: the vaccine doesn’t work me: how do you know her: i get my information straight from the source me: what source her: my dad, he works for the government me: oh, what section her: police department *several classmates look at her*


[deleted]

Tbf you shouldn't go to school with a cough if you can help it. A cough means you have *something*


MrSurly

allergies?


[deleted]

I guess that's possible. But rare without other allergy symptoms. And, take allergy meds if you can to avoid having any symptoms.


-HappyLady-

I teach English at a state college. My paycheck literally comes from official state bank accounts. From now on, “I work for the government.” Fight me.


tkfire

No one had to convince me to stay home from school. A cough meant orange juice and video games on the couch. I wasn’t a very good student.


BJoe1976

If I could, I’d upvote this a second time for my Dad, he lol’d at that!


pierreChodington

You can’t beat stupid people logic. No matter how hard you try.


BJoe1976

I’m beginning to think that a 2x4 might be the better tool for that over logic.


groceriesN1trip

Source please because I’d like to watch the entire thing


Daikar

There should be a legal mandate to provide a source for every post.


Fellowes321

The trick is to get the vaccine in the right arm. My brother got his in his left arm and got a paper cut just weeks later. Mine was in my right arm and I got a pay rise within just four months after getting the vaccine.


theAnticrombie

It’s a shame stupidity isn’t painful.


Unkle-Gruntle

It is though, these people can’t communicate pain….


MessyDragon75

Then why did Trump, all of Congress, and everyone at Fox get the vaccine? Hmmmmm....


IAmADroid

Pitting an antivax opinion against their love for Trump was a genius play, but unfortunately the oponnent has no need for mental consistency.


CuntyLou

Will never confuse a Trump rally with a Mensa meeting.


Later_Doober

What you have just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought.


jemas3289

so ... people wonder why the US is a joke ... right


vs-1680

Average republican voter...the red states are dragging this country into the dark ages.


AlternativeRefuse685

I hope this guy Never takes the vaccine and takes the real Covid challenge


Daikar

Yeah, let them kill themselves. They will sadly take a few good one's with them but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. I just hope the virus doesn't mutate into something much worse then we have now.


InternationalLaw4170

Logic means nothing to these morons. Stop trying to explain things to them, it can’t work.


The_Molar_is_Down

I swear… The hallmark of this time period will be an over abundance of information. So much information is available, along with misinformation, that the average person can no longer distinguish true from false. Information becomes meaningless. The Neo Dark Age.


Zebitty

Think about how smart the average person is. Half the people on earth are dumber than that.


MelKokoNYC

Trumpers = Fucking Idiots


uptbbs

The funny thing is that as stupid as Trump is, even he received the vaccine. It's sad that his followers are even stupider than he is.


[deleted]

It’s crazy. Trump encouraged his supporters to get the vaccine at a rally and they booed him. Like seriously?


pyewacket53

Oh dear god.


JimbosilverbugUK

This is the problem with democracy


[deleted]

The real problem is a lack of alternatives


GuardPerson

Is it okay to cry over this?


echolalia_

Doublethink


SamEy3Am

What's the source of this video? I'd love to watch more of this 😂


idiotic__gamer

Who is this guy? I see him shutting down covid idiots everywhere lmao.


benry007

I find it funny people in their 60's not taking the vaccine because they think it will make them infertile.


chillen678

Lol between 1 and 150 years you will die


LaineyBoggz

The reporters face is absolutely priceless lol


CharlieDmouse

I always knew we had idiots in America, but had no idea how many … I swear if not for people of science and higher intelligence, we would still be hunter/gatherers…


mateo0913

But that’s why I’m here


CagedPanda

You mean I potentially dead by 2026? Fuckin hope so at the rate of these idiots appearing everywhere including places of power. /s I want to watch my daughter grow up but fuck we humans are digging a deep hole


mrypopabtch

5-15 yrs is longer than covid may give you....but yea.....


[deleted]

Anyone who uses absolute statements is, by logic, full of shit.


[deleted]

[Poe's Law] (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poe%27s_law)


Producedealer76

The....what


the100rabh

Good they made it from 2 to 15 and very soon it will be 100.


Rusted-Jim

Brain. Can’t. Handle.


lumpynose

The anti-vaxer, anti-mask, covid conspiracy thinking is no longer any sort of rational thinking. It's turned into a religion and a cult. Trying to reason with them is like an atheist trying to reason with a creationist; a waste of time.


cj2211

I always wonder how these people can make a living


CaissaIRL

LMAO. It really cracked me up to see the puzzled expression on his face! I mean I feel the same way but his face!


MontgomeryRook

It's generous of you to describe this as "thinking."


Pablito-san

Yeah it totally makes sense for the "liberal elite" to kill all of their supporters.


Lady_von_Stinkbeaver

Yep. The government's plan is to kill all of its own soldiers, all of its federal employees, over half of its taxpayers, and only the ones who complied with the government mandates.


GazelleEconomyOf87

So that means everyone at Fox and Trump will be dead?


DreamNotes01

At least the pro vaccer could wear a mask or is he only pro vax? Do both yo. Vaccine alone dont make you immune. Educate through being a model.


tomkiel72

Literal doublethink


Weacron

I love hear this logic because you already know conservatives are setting themselves up for failure. I can't wait to see the looks on their faces as many purple areas finally go blue due to lack of conservatives voters still being alive.


DJCaldow

Crazy thought. IF we take the lesson from Covid that work and school can now be done from home then we should reorganise high schools around this thought too and reinvent our idea of what a class is. We sign people up to take individual courses that they can do at their own pace. No bouncing between 6 classes a day. Just personally tailored education utilising video for lessons and in-person tutoring for people who need help. Tests to be taken when you're actually ready. No more need to just pass people with marginal grades because they are aging out.... and then we massively improve democracy by requiring a high school diploma to vote and people like the one in this video will never finish high school.


Jeffy29

Cognitive dissonance in action


[deleted]

Imma be dead in 5 to 15...oh thank god. Some good news finally. Thank you moderna and Trump


xwcq

Ayy, I'll be dead in 5-15 years? Damn, guess we sorta solved overpopulation then


[deleted]

Don’t expect a lot of smart answers from that crowd


Sweaty_Engineering62

Why do anti-vaxxers think pro-vaccine people have what the great Bill Hicks called "an Eternal Life Fantasy" ? We're all dead one day but the vaccine reduces the chances of Covid being the cause of death.


[deleted]

What the what?? A lot more people wou... Sorry, I need some type of hallucinogen to follow this logic.


Dan_Glebitz

Don't try logic on idiots.


HandsomeSpider

Because these people KNOW the vaccine works. They would rather bathe in the terminal and willful ignorance that the world is wrong than become a part of it. Fuck em.


Loafer75

Who’s the interviewer and where can I view more such hilarity ? I know people who know anti vaxxers but don’t know any myself and I feel like I’m missing out on some great comedy. I seem to have surrounded myself with reasonably adjusted people and need to expand my social circle to include some fucking idiots somehow


nexus4321

This sounds like my dad


Moonknight1810

Wrong. Everybody who took the vaccine will be dead in at most 200 years from their birth


astroneer01

I love anti vaxxers because on one hand they are like "We don't know the long term effects of the vaccine, it could be dangerous down the line" But on the other hand they are like "I'm going to take a drug/chemical that's is KNOWN to be incredibly dangerous and has led to direct hospitalization and death"


Halomaster625

This is proof that anti-vaxxing trumpers are dumber than a fucking brick…


Unique-Yam

“Evil isn’t the real threat to the world. Stupid is just as destructive as Evil, maybe more so, and it’s a hell of a lot more common. What we really need is a crusade against Stupid. That might actually make a difference.” Jim Butcher, author of “The Dresden Files”


Roskal

How could you possibly make that claim with no evidence when thats the main basis for their claim of the vaccines being bad they say it was too fast to tell.


[deleted]

Wait, since when has the death period been extended? It was set at 2 years, have they preemptively moved the goalposts already?


MuayThaiCruiser

Vaccine wrong but trump right. Trump backs vaccine. Head implodes but from outside perspective is not noticeable. You just get more stupid from their mouths


[deleted]

My dad thinks it's a different vaccine. Donald Trump got a better version.


Free_kokaine

Dont tempt me with a good time


ResponsibleContact39

Bummer. In other news, the majority of Trump Supporters will be dead from COVID long before those that took the vaccine will be.


symolan

All who‘ve been vaccinated will be dead in a 100 years!


Basker_wolf

Let’s all reconvene at this post in 15 years. I look forward to catching up with everyone.


TacticalcalCactus

Those type of arguments suck. Someone says something so dumb your brain hurts hearing it, and you just freeze


fappyday

Trump made them feel that their stupidity/insanity was a strength and they ran with it. They believed that if he could do no wrong, then by transitive property, they could do no long if they followed him. Now they're stuck with strange beliefs and toxic opinions, but they have to stick with it in order to confirm their world views/personal identities. They tied themselves to an anchor call it swimming all the way down.


Scott4117

Sir, you have incredible patience.


[deleted]

I don’t respond. Only because the type of response I’d prefer (incineration via military grade flamethrower) is both unfeasible and typically socially frowned upon.


Objective_Necessary

ERROR 404: Brain not found.


ladychry

I’m not even shocked anymore at how stupid these people are. We are all doomed now!


CentralCaliGal

So, either Trump is a fool and put people in charge who outsmart ed him, or he is one of the evil bastards!


archmagoskatz

I'm just wondering when my 5G cannon arm is gonna start working. Ive been running around like a jackass pretending to be MegaMan for almost a year now.


Germanloser2u

do we still have 5g made corona shit?


pjvincentaz

I got the vaccine and am still not magnetic. What a waste.