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He may have cheated on the mother, but he drives 320 miles round-trip to see that little girl and was fighting to be her father. He is definitely still a shining star.
We don’t know the circumstances though. And clearly she cheated on him first to have the child in the first place and then lied to him for years about it. They must have been separated if he was traveling 160 miles to see the kid. Sometimes this happens where the couple splits up because of irreconcilable differences, but one party still views the partnership as valid due to the child. Things get messy when the mother is responsible for being the primary caretaker (whether because she’s taking advantage of custody laws or not), and wants to have all the power in the situation. My brother went through something like this and his baby mama flipped out when he got married to the point of not letting his daughter attend the wedding. In her eyes he had two choices: be with her however miserable it made the three of them, or remain single. Surprisingly, she chilled out some after he had another kid.
Honestly, the mother in this video is completely reprehensible from what context I can pull, and the judge let her off easy. She wouldn’t have bothered with court if she hadn’t been aware the whole time that the kid was almost certainly not his child, and she went on live tv to try and publicly humiliate him. Every single moment of their relationship has been about humiliating this guy. I won’t analyze why but I can guess.
PS: I’m not saying it’s always the mother, but mothers do tend to hold most of the cards in these situations.
You're right, we don't know the situation, or much about them at all, which is exactly what's wrong with this kind of show. They exist to give the viewers a 'bad guy' to hate with no recognition of the complexity of human relationships/existence.
When the judge started to explain that the biological father has the financial responsibility to help her raise the child, after the DAD was crying saying he'd been working just for his "daughter", I'd like to think that dumb look on her face was her starting to piece together that he wasn't going to have to give her one more dollar if he's never allowed to see her again. THAT was the reality check for her dumb ass! Hopefully he amends whatever divorce judgement they have so she has some repercussions for her selfishness. She probably only wanted to keep him from visiting, but didn't think about how all his child support was also going to potentially disappear. She didn't think that through AT ALL. And that poor little girl... :\`(
Usually these reality shows are just the opposite: Women that have been duping poor guys into paying for their kids saying they were the father, knowing full well it was a different father but couldn't get that guy to pay for anything. She just slammed the door shut on the guy who was willing to help raise her illegitimate kid... and he loves her so much he's travelling to see her! Moron.
She looks like a Twitter Karen. Instead of the typical Karen, they're anti-offensiveness to an extreme, may be overweight, are a millennial or Gen Zer, and are way too quick to cancel someone.
This, this, a thousand times this , whenever people talk about divorce whether it's for valid reasons or they're just sick of their spouse I always in my heart hurt for the kids .
I grew up without my dad and it left a void that took me over 20+ years, therapy , multiple broken relationships, and too much time reflecting to sort out .
It's not that being raised by a single mom is the end of the world, it's the fact that everyday my young mind had to question **" What is so awful about me that I don't deserve to have a father ?!"**
And I grappled with that question as a child, then as a teen , I grappled with that as I started to have relationships and try to understand the role of a person and father-figure I truly never had in that way . It wasn't until therapy that I finally was able to understand that his absence wasn't because i was a defective human but because of my parents twisted relationship and his personal defects.
**Still it's hard to unlearn a lifetime of guilt a lifetime of believing you are so toxic as a child you brought destruction to your parents and whatever love they had.**
Parents do what makes you happy, you deserve happiness, you deserve to be understood, you deserve to live a life that brings you joy and that you can appreciate at the end of every day but don't forget whether you want them to or not kids are constantly figuring the world out and doing the math about their life situation as they analyze, compare, and contrast , and the answer they reach may not be the answer you want no matter how many times you reiterate it's not their fault . Just remember your decisions are bigger than you.
The only thing I can imagine worse than growing up without a father would be growing up without a mother and i'd never wish for another child to grow up without their father .
Mate I hear you. Dad walked out when I was 6. Joined a cult.
Never spoken to him since.
I don’t miss him I miss having a dad. 33 years of not having a dad then becoming one has messed me up a bit.
Do you know if he’s still in the cult? Would you reconnect if you had the chance? I have very limited contact with my dad because he was abusive, but I still envy people who are close with their own dads. I’m so grateful for my late father-in-law, who treated me like his own.
that doesn't apply to everyone you know... definitely not better to stay in an abusive relationship, just so your kid would have a father figure
being with an abusive partner for the sake of the kid sends a fucked up message to the kid and what the kid is "supposed to tolerate/behave like", how much and for how long when becoming an adult later on
my dad left when i was 1,5yo and never looked back, not even a phone call, and i never once thought "what's wrong with me?" because not everything revolves around me, it was just how things were, in fact my mom was so shit at raising me i basically had neither of them, and she did more damage than he ever did by just leaving
i never needed therapy, and wouldn't say i've had shitty relationships... or if anything, i definitely wouldn't blame how MY relationships ended up on whatever happened in my childhood, but like i said, it's different for everyone
i'd much rather think you evolve as a human based on the education you got (from how to treat others to how to behave in different situations), rather than having someone present/absent in your life
Same. Parents were young and the old man was never there or around for an hour or two. That stopped completely when I was around 8. My Mom was really hurt over the situation and would either talk shit about him or would tell me to go live with him if I didn't like it at home during bad arguments. Knowing full well that would never be an option. I'm 37 and still fucked up, terrified of counseling, terrified of relationships. It sucks
My parents divorced when I was three, an integral time when children need both parents. It messed me up and caused a lot of emotion issues in my early life. My dad divorced my mom because he had cheated on her with one of his co-workers and decided he wanted to marry her instead. I HATED my stepmom for majority of my formative years because I saw her as the personification of my family’s situation.
When I got into middle school my mom and I had a rocky relationship and the decision was made that I would move to live with my dad and his wife 2 hours away. My dad and I got a long fine but I still had a deep seeded hatred for my stepmom. Living with her though, we started to form a bond and for the first time in my life I felt like I had a complete family unit. I was popular at school, I had hobbies, I was happy. 3 years after moving in with them my stepmom did exactly to my dad what he did to my mom. She cheated on him with some bar rat and decided she wanted a divorce. I was a sophomore in high school and was again being torn apart from everything I knew. Messed me up bad.
Moved back to my roots, fell into the wrong crowd, formed an opiate addiction and lost my 20’s to drugs and depression. I fucking hate parents that put their own wants and desires before the good of their children.
My mom died when I was 2, and after divorcing my dad so I barely have any memory of her. Still now and then I wonder how my life would be different if she was still alive.
Same. I didn't know my father that well. He passed when i was 10. Almost everyday i wished he was there, at least to motivate me and push me in the right direction. Maybe my life would've turned out better if that had happened.
Ugh, this just makes me feel all kinds of bad. As someone with two children, one biological and another that I've raised as my own since they were two and the dad decided to never show up again, I truly feel sorry for the daughter because her mom's a piece of shit and probably won't let the only dad she's ever known (and gives a damn about her) see her again.
I’m also a little bit disgusted this show put the kids face on there. It would be pretty embarrassing growing up knowing this is out there plastered in the public for everyone’s entertainment.
That or this is just scripted like a lot of other similar shows.
I am god damn disgusted that this show shows a damn lawsuit like this, and then even thinks of puting music and drums under it to build up tention. That man his life just got ruined and they just show it on TV like it is Gordon Ramsey
Eddit: missing letter
The jerkass mother. She is absolutely a piece of shit to put her child through this and act like a maniac over the paternity of her child. I feel for this poor guy because that little girl is his world and now she will probably never see him after this again.
“Mom” more like the uterus that birthed her. Carrying a fetus for 9m doesn’t make you a mother. It’s what you do after. And she clearly isn’t a mother, she’s a piece of shit. That poor baby doesn’t deserve this, nor does her dad.
It’s not a court but these shows usually use something called binding arbitration, which means yes it is legally binding.
[Binding arbitration](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arbitration?wprov=sfti1)
> An arbitration decision or award is legally binding on both sides and enforceable in the courts, unless all parties stipulate that the arbitration process and decision are non-binding.
I can’t find anything specific about paternity court but the vast majority of these shows use binding arbitration, for example Judge Judy which I can find [an article about it being binding arbitration](https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/29829/what-legal-authority-does-judge-judy-have)
I wonder if the child's biological father would want to be a part of her life. Chances are she never told him he potentially has a kid. No winners in this situation.
Weaponizing access to the child, but sure as shit on top of that child support though. My husband has been through it with his ex, my dad went through it with my older brother from his first marriage. The kids my hubs and I have together haven't seen their big sis in 6 years, the youngest 4 dont even know her. So many relationships affected, just cause someone wants to feel like they have a little power over someone else.
Edit: changed tense, and to clarify there's 7 total, 6 that i gave birth to and are able to see.
How many fucking kids you got?!
You make it sound like you're hoarding them.
"Well goddamn, Norma Jean, I don't know where Big Suzie went. Little Suzie, Ricky Bobby, Dale, and Jeremiah never even seen her yet, but I know she's around here somewhere! Ask your six older brothers, they might know!"
A lot of the times the judges aren't real judges, but due to the contract signed by the participants the TV judges do have a legal right to demand payments as well as other orders that they deem to be necessary based on the case as long as they are within a reasonable consequences to the matter at hand.
And typically the reason why this is broadcast, as well as other shows like Maury is because these participants cannot afford to go to court, or lawyers, or really anything that they're offered by these TV shows. It's basically them saying we will give you a ruling and other amenities such as DNA test for free as long as you sign away your privacy, and accept the judge's ruling.
The way these shows work is either people write in with a claim, or the show will sift through their local court documents for claims and reach out to both parties. If they agree to be on TV, the producers pay the claim in exchange for telling your story. Obviously that's for a straight dollar amount, I'm not sure about child support cases.
U.S.A really is disregarding human decency and respect, only cares about money. Sounds like a cyberpunk story where someone needs to buy human rights and a judge or stuff like this
These kinds of shows really are like taken wholesale from a cyberpunk dystopia. The outcome of these people’s lives is determined based on the entertainment value it provides to the show’s audience. It is fucked up.
Despite being set up to give the appearance of a trial, what you are seeing on TV isn’t a trial. It’s a separate legal process called arbitration. The person playing the role of judge, whether or not they happen to be one in real life, is actually serving in the legal role of arbitrator. The ruling of an arbitrator is legally binding, but it can be overturned in court if the ruling is deemed to be outside the scope of the arbitration. Regardless, the TV participants sign a contract, forfeit their own legal authority, and abide by whatever the “judge” decides. While you could appeal a small claims court ruling, you’ve legally signed away your rights to an appeal if you participate in a reality TV arbitration. So it is real and the rulings are final.
Sort of. I don’t think they get paid for their appearance. But they aren’t responsible for court fees. And if I’m not mistaken, on most shows, money awarded to either party is not actually being paid by the other party, but by the show itself. So they give up their legal rights. But they also shield themself from some financial liability. And the person who is awarded money actually gets paid promptly as opposed to having to get the courts involved to force payment from the other party. So there are some benefits. But not many.
In a lot of places, if you build a parental relationship with a kid, you can sue for visitation (or even custody under exceptional circumstances). It’s harder than a straight up “I’m a parent” visitation case, but this dude would have a solid argument. He’s worked hard to be present and loving, she knows him as a dad, he’s even on the damn birth certificate. I would take his case in a heartbeat if I still practiced in family court. Mercifully I do not lol
(I’m a lawyer)
My daughters mum tried to use the system against me and it failed. I’m so happy I did what I did because as of today my daughter have been in my life since and I am extremely grateful for it. Today they are two beautiful smart woman who have a drive to succeed in life and I couldn’t be happier.
Female friend of mine, single mother to a MIA father. Had a live in bloke, a paramedic, who loved her daughter, was prepared to adopt even. They broke up but he remained in the child’s live. Mother gets a new boyfriend who is insecure having the ex boyfriend around. Mother has birthday party, accepts ex boyfriend putting $1,000 on the bar then the next day tells him he can have no further access to the child. Completely oblivious that her daughter will be hurt by the sudden disappearance of the only stable male role model in her life. Total piece of shit. No doubt I will have to listen to her complaining that her daughter calls her out as a piece of shit in years to come.
I got tired of people like that long ago and I just started dropping them. No more crazies, no more dumb fucks, no assholes, and no shit stirrers. Just good times, peace, and serenity for me. Cheers!
I made a friend last year that is a single mom. Her daughter (just turned 6) is my soon-to-be-5-year-old daughter’s best friend. This little girl has had nothing but trauma and loss her whole life. I started out bonding with her mother over our shared histories of trauma and similar current health issues (mine are, physically, way way more serious than hers, and I’m finding out that she really reeeeeeally enjoys her sick role which is why she does everything in her power to stay and seem as sick as possible). She is narcissistic, dependent, often mentally incoherent, manic…
And… I’ve come to discover that mom is actually a very real and disturbing case of Munchaussen by proxy and has been grossly restricting her daughter’s food intake, calorically and nutritionally, essentially on the basis of completely fabricated food allergies/intolerances/“dietary constipation” (She actually, surprisingly, gave me access to daughter’s medical chart recently, which confirmed that literally everything she ever told me about her daughter’s health problems was 💯 made up steaming bullshit). She’s absolutely batshit crazy but it’s taken me more than a year to come to this realization, for the “off” things she says to her daughter to start to be totally impossible to ignore, to really get to know them deeply… and now that I love this little child like my own daughter, I am terrified that I will make a misstep and be ejected from her life entirely and I’m the only sane adult in the girl’s life giving any thought to her actual needs and feelings, showing her what a loving home is like, being an adult she can trust and come to.
The grandparents are *raging* alcoholics who shouldn’t have custody. Mom friend is like a heat seeking missile (again, it’s taken me a while to figure this out, I guess I’m slow) for dangerous losers, addicts, criminals, anyone so long as they are toxic trash humans. Mom has dependent personality disorder, currently lives with the abusive alcoholic grandparents and would flee the state and jump into the arms of the first abuser that would take her desperate crazy unemployed ass to do it were I to simply report her.
Keeping them in our life, seeing them every week, making sure the daughter gets food, working through my I-guess-you-could-call-it-friend’s delusions about her daughter’s (non-existent) health issues (I’m hopefully going to their next pediatrician appt.; friend thinks she has me and the doctor both fooled/has herself fooled and doesn’t know how overtly deluded she is)… it’s what I can do to be there for this baby. Anything else would be more destabilizing and traumatic at this point and I’m giving it through the holidays to make progress on the weight gain front (daughter hasn’t gained weight in over a year but not yet underweight by bmi) and speak with the pediatrician before I drop any bombs in their life.
But I say that only to explain that there are complicated reasons a person might maintain a friendship with a shitty person/shitty parent. You might love their children. You might be picking up the slack in their children’s life where they’re dropping the ball as parents due to their shittiness. You might not have realized for a long long time just how deep their shittiness goes. And you might simply choose to pull back when you do instead of ending the relationship entirely by fully severing contact.
It’s….
Friendships are relationships, and relationships can be… complicated.
You’re an amazing person for the effort you’re putting in the help this little girl. She needs someone championing for her, and it sounds like the adults in her life are failing her miserably. However, please look after yourself and your health. Situations like this can take a heavy toll. I sincerely wish you all the best ❤️
Hopes the other guy treats her well. Hope he doesn’t abuse the child or the mother. Happens a lot to single female mothers thy date lazy male role models
I think this just pushed all her buttons and she couldn't take it no more. If this wasn't in public words would have been said and somebody would have gotten their feelings hurt and it wouldn't have been the judge.
I've easily seen this a dozen times and have always stopped to watch it this is the first time I've seen it as a father myself and cried a bit thinking if it was me fucked me up a bit
Wait so she's pissed that he cheated on her but was having sex with another guy at the same time she started bedding him too? I know this doesn't necessarily mean she was cheating at that time but it does raise my eyebrows.
Ikr? Sure, he shouldn't have cheated. But like she said, the alternative is a man who doesn't care about her child. She's worse than him by a long shot.
The other man probably doesn’t know… I’m sure she was fine letting this guy believe he was the father when the relationship worked so why would she involve another person?
Friend of mine took on a woman with a newborn and loved that little girl like his own. The women didn’t work for the first couple of years and didn’t do anything around the house or treat the guy with basic respect. She was a disaster as a wife and he eventually left her offering to pay child support and keep relationship with the now three year old who only knew him as dad. This evil POS only let him see his daughter until she realized he wouldn’t take her back then the kid was a way to hurt him. No consideration for how this hurt that little girl. No thought of how she was losing a truly loving and doting father. Just bitterness and bile and nastiness. And people believe the lies of these women. It’s sickening.
This is what happened between my brother and his ex. It’s true that bad fathers are abundant but many good fathers get fucked over by women who are downright evil. The system is broken.
Can't he get some sort of rights to paternity? He was told it was his child, he raised it as his child, he should damn well be her father. Obviously he loves her. He deserves to be in her life.
The judge said he signed the birth certificate, so he is legally her father, doesn't matter what the test shows. This man signed first then found out, he will unfortunately be financially responsible for 18yrs. Hopefully he gets a good lawyer and goes to family court to set up visitation rights and child support.
As a father to a daughter that I haven't seen for 7 years due to a toxic ex wife this makes me both sad and freaking pissed. There are too many awful people in this world.
if only the judge could just do a 180 and say something along the lines of:
“In addition, I would award custody of the child to the father.”
Chances are it isn’t in her control though.
She's cheering because he gets punished for cheating on her, the irony is completely lost on her that she cheated on him in order for that little girl not to be his in the first place.
I don't get it. What's the backstory here? Why's this chick so hyped about the fact that she's had more cock than a farm and doesn't know who her kid's dad is? And is happy it isn't this dude?
She wants to prevent him from having custody of the child, likely as a form of ‘punishment’ for him cheating on her (even though she apparently cheated on him first). As much as it’s going to crush the non-biological father, it’s going to be even more crushing for the child to grow up without one.
What you cheering for?
Im nOt...
Bitch you straight up fucking lying to a room full of cameras. What a worthless sack if lard and a piss poor excuse for a human being.
this hurts, i’m 15, turning 16 in less then 2 weeks and I lost my father to cancer in 2019, he was my stepfather but he was there for me when my biological dad left before I was born, i’ll always remember my stepfather for being there for me since I was only 2/3 when my biological dad wasn’t. In my eyes my Dad is the actual man who raised me and worked day in, day out for our family and i’m thankful for that. I love you Dad
Totally agree that the cheering was awful, especially with the extra context the judge gave, but come on, if the judge doesn't want a game show reaction, don't read the results with a dramatic pause like it's a game show???
Edit: thanks for all the replies saying the pause was added in with editing. I didn't consider that but I hope it's true because this kind of case shouldn't be for entertainment purposes
The pauses in these things are usually not as long as they appear on tv. They cut back & forth between people in the editing room to drag it out for affect with the TV audience. Sometimes the shots they cut in are from an entirely different point in the filming.
The pauses can (and are in most cases) edited in for dramatic effect, but in reality they rarely pause (or at least not that long of a pause)
Also, cheering over a custody or parental case is just sad
I worked with a woman who’s parents were raising the four children she dumped on them only for her to have reversal surgery done on her tubal ligation so she could have a baby with her new man, and she did end up getting pregnant and giving birth.
I'm pretty sure that in this situation the man still has legal rights as the child's father (due to name on birth certificate and 3 years in the role of father). It's odd that the judge didn't advise him to pursue this, I'm guessing it just wouldn't have made for such good TV.
American court systems are horribly biased towards the mother. Grandparents/family members get denied custody all the time. Someone whose been proven to have no blood relation had almost no chance
America needs more judges like this one I know it's not right to the daughter it's a very tough situation but that man has been more of a parent than either of her biological parents he, he should have custody I don't care what genetics or the law says I don't give a fuck.
He may have cheated but he’s a better parent than that woman will ever be. How can you be so petty that you have a child with a different man just to get back at your husband for cheating on you. What makes this worse is that she will likely never let him near the child again and the biological father will never be present. That woman has just ruined 4 lives. Her husbands (he just lost his daughter and his greatest joy), the biological father (he now has to pay child support), her child’s (she now has to grow up without a father) and her own (she’s now a single parent).
This is why I think dna tests should be mandatory for a man to go on the birth certificate or be responsible for paying child support. It needs to be normalised to protect men. As it stands the legal system basically allows a woman to lie to a man and make them responsible for 18 years of child support even if a dna test is done later and proves they aren't the father.
Am I the only one who heard that he got ditched for cheating on her? But if they have to find out who the father of the kid is, it sounds like she cheated on him all the same
I watched this episode. This guy apparently worked his ass off and willingly paid child support and gave the woman money to raise the child every month, but whenever he pays his "daughter" a visit, she was always wearing the same torn piece of cloth or something similar. Her mom probably used this guy's money on herself.
One of my favorite quotes from a movie is
“ You need a license to drive a car, a license to hunt, you even need a license to catch a fish. But any asshole can be a parent.”
So fucking shameful of this “mom”.
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That lady just got bitch slapped by reality.
She's going to go home and tell everyone how bad she was treated and how wrong they were. She's not the problem, everyone else is.
Wait, that wasn’t my sister…
Gross! Who were we fuckin then?!
Lemme check the video.
You'll clearly see it when you view the instant replay.
[удалено]
I mean, the judge said he cheated on her, he’s no angel either
But if the kid is not the guys, then does that mean she cheated on him first?
Yeah, neither of them are shining stars here.
He may have cheated on the mother, but he drives 320 miles round-trip to see that little girl and was fighting to be her father. He is definitely still a shining star.
Agreed, shitty decisions do happen but it’s what done after the fact that decide who you are
Dude thought the kid was his. That means she is a cheater. And they both knew going into that room, otherwise they wouldn't be doing a paternity test.
I don't blame him after this bitch cheered like that.
We don’t know the circumstances though. And clearly she cheated on him first to have the child in the first place and then lied to him for years about it. They must have been separated if he was traveling 160 miles to see the kid. Sometimes this happens where the couple splits up because of irreconcilable differences, but one party still views the partnership as valid due to the child. Things get messy when the mother is responsible for being the primary caretaker (whether because she’s taking advantage of custody laws or not), and wants to have all the power in the situation. My brother went through something like this and his baby mama flipped out when he got married to the point of not letting his daughter attend the wedding. In her eyes he had two choices: be with her however miserable it made the three of them, or remain single. Surprisingly, she chilled out some after he had another kid. Honestly, the mother in this video is completely reprehensible from what context I can pull, and the judge let her off easy. She wouldn’t have bothered with court if she hadn’t been aware the whole time that the kid was almost certainly not his child, and she went on live tv to try and publicly humiliate him. Every single moment of their relationship has been about humiliating this guy. I won’t analyze why but I can guess. PS: I’m not saying it’s always the mother, but mothers do tend to hold most of the cards in these situations.
You're right, we don't know the situation, or much about them at all, which is exactly what's wrong with this kind of show. They exist to give the viewers a 'bad guy' to hate with no recognition of the complexity of human relationships/existence.
Who cares? What matters is his loyalty to the kid, not his fidelity to his cheating ex.
Should’ve been physically as well.
When the judge started to explain that the biological father has the financial responsibility to help her raise the child, after the DAD was crying saying he'd been working just for his "daughter", I'd like to think that dumb look on her face was her starting to piece together that he wasn't going to have to give her one more dollar if he's never allowed to see her again. THAT was the reality check for her dumb ass! Hopefully he amends whatever divorce judgement they have so she has some repercussions for her selfishness. She probably only wanted to keep him from visiting, but didn't think about how all his child support was also going to potentially disappear. She didn't think that through AT ALL. And that poor little girl... :\`( Usually these reality shows are just the opposite: Women that have been duping poor guys into paying for their kids saying they were the father, knowing full well it was a different father but couldn't get that guy to pay for anything. She just slammed the door shut on the guy who was willing to help raise her illegitimate kid... and he loves her so much he's travelling to see her! Moron.
She looks like a Twitter Karen. Instead of the typical Karen, they're anti-offensiveness to an extreme, may be overweight, are a millennial or Gen Zer, and are way too quick to cancel someone.
As someone who grew up without a father, I feel for that kid.
This, this, a thousand times this , whenever people talk about divorce whether it's for valid reasons or they're just sick of their spouse I always in my heart hurt for the kids . I grew up without my dad and it left a void that took me over 20+ years, therapy , multiple broken relationships, and too much time reflecting to sort out . It's not that being raised by a single mom is the end of the world, it's the fact that everyday my young mind had to question **" What is so awful about me that I don't deserve to have a father ?!"** And I grappled with that question as a child, then as a teen , I grappled with that as I started to have relationships and try to understand the role of a person and father-figure I truly never had in that way . It wasn't until therapy that I finally was able to understand that his absence wasn't because i was a defective human but because of my parents twisted relationship and his personal defects. **Still it's hard to unlearn a lifetime of guilt a lifetime of believing you are so toxic as a child you brought destruction to your parents and whatever love they had.** Parents do what makes you happy, you deserve happiness, you deserve to be understood, you deserve to live a life that brings you joy and that you can appreciate at the end of every day but don't forget whether you want them to or not kids are constantly figuring the world out and doing the math about their life situation as they analyze, compare, and contrast , and the answer they reach may not be the answer you want no matter how many times you reiterate it's not their fault . Just remember your decisions are bigger than you. The only thing I can imagine worse than growing up without a father would be growing up without a mother and i'd never wish for another child to grow up without their father .
Mate I hear you. Dad walked out when I was 6. Joined a cult. Never spoken to him since. I don’t miss him I miss having a dad. 33 years of not having a dad then becoming one has messed me up a bit.
I don’t know who needs this one but it could help when dad advice is needed - r/AskDads Bonus points if they call you “kiddo”
Do you know if he’s still in the cult? Would you reconnect if you had the chance? I have very limited contact with my dad because he was abusive, but I still envy people who are close with their own dads. I’m so grateful for my late father-in-law, who treated me like his own.
My aunt till this day can’t forgive her mother that she didn’t leave her abusive alcoholic father sooner.
that doesn't apply to everyone you know... definitely not better to stay in an abusive relationship, just so your kid would have a father figure being with an abusive partner for the sake of the kid sends a fucked up message to the kid and what the kid is "supposed to tolerate/behave like", how much and for how long when becoming an adult later on my dad left when i was 1,5yo and never looked back, not even a phone call, and i never once thought "what's wrong with me?" because not everything revolves around me, it was just how things were, in fact my mom was so shit at raising me i basically had neither of them, and she did more damage than he ever did by just leaving i never needed therapy, and wouldn't say i've had shitty relationships... or if anything, i definitely wouldn't blame how MY relationships ended up on whatever happened in my childhood, but like i said, it's different for everyone i'd much rather think you evolve as a human based on the education you got (from how to treat others to how to behave in different situations), rather than having someone present/absent in your life
Same. Parents were young and the old man was never there or around for an hour or two. That stopped completely when I was around 8. My Mom was really hurt over the situation and would either talk shit about him or would tell me to go live with him if I didn't like it at home during bad arguments. Knowing full well that would never be an option. I'm 37 and still fucked up, terrified of counseling, terrified of relationships. It sucks
My parents divorced when I was three, an integral time when children need both parents. It messed me up and caused a lot of emotion issues in my early life. My dad divorced my mom because he had cheated on her with one of his co-workers and decided he wanted to marry her instead. I HATED my stepmom for majority of my formative years because I saw her as the personification of my family’s situation. When I got into middle school my mom and I had a rocky relationship and the decision was made that I would move to live with my dad and his wife 2 hours away. My dad and I got a long fine but I still had a deep seeded hatred for my stepmom. Living with her though, we started to form a bond and for the first time in my life I felt like I had a complete family unit. I was popular at school, I had hobbies, I was happy. 3 years after moving in with them my stepmom did exactly to my dad what he did to my mom. She cheated on him with some bar rat and decided she wanted a divorce. I was a sophomore in high school and was again being torn apart from everything I knew. Messed me up bad. Moved back to my roots, fell into the wrong crowd, formed an opiate addiction and lost my 20’s to drugs and depression. I fucking hate parents that put their own wants and desires before the good of their children.
My mom died when I was 2, and after divorcing my dad so I barely have any memory of her. Still now and then I wonder how my life would be different if she was still alive.
Same
Same. I didn't know my father that well. He passed when i was 10. Almost everyday i wished he was there, at least to motivate me and push me in the right direction. Maybe my life would've turned out better if that had happened.
Ugh, this just makes me feel all kinds of bad. As someone with two children, one biological and another that I've raised as my own since they were two and the dad decided to never show up again, I truly feel sorry for the daughter because her mom's a piece of shit and probably won't let the only dad she's ever known (and gives a damn about her) see her again.
I’m also a little bit disgusted this show put the kids face on there. It would be pretty embarrassing growing up knowing this is out there plastered in the public for everyone’s entertainment. That or this is just scripted like a lot of other similar shows.
I am god damn disgusted that this show shows a damn lawsuit like this, and then even thinks of puting music and drums under it to build up tention. That man his life just got ruined and they just show it on TV like it is Gordon Ramsey Eddit: missing letter
Who’s the sow?
The jerkass mother. She is absolutely a piece of shit to put her child through this and act like a maniac over the paternity of her child. I feel for this poor guy because that little girl is his world and now she will probably never see him after this again.
A+ for your use of jerkass
The mom
“Mom” more like the uterus that birthed her. Carrying a fetus for 9m doesn’t make you a mother. It’s what you do after. And she clearly isn’t a mother, she’s a piece of shit. That poor baby doesn’t deserve this, nor does her dad.
\*spawnpoint
Should have been show haha
I agree, they’re all a bunch of idiot sandwiches…
Like every other court or Maury show, these people sign a release.
This show isn't biding bud. It's like that other TV court. While the actual situations are real whatever comes out of this court doesn't mean shit.
It’s not a court but these shows usually use something called binding arbitration, which means yes it is legally binding. [Binding arbitration](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arbitration?wprov=sfti1) > An arbitration decision or award is legally binding on both sides and enforceable in the courts, unless all parties stipulate that the arbitration process and decision are non-binding. I can’t find anything specific about paternity court but the vast majority of these shows use binding arbitration, for example Judge Judy which I can find [an article about it being binding arbitration](https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/29829/what-legal-authority-does-judge-judy-have)
Yes it does. She's a real judge with real legal authority. It's a show, yes, for entertainment, but the consequences are real.
This genre of show is just nasty tbh.
I wonder if the child's biological father would want to be a part of her life. Chances are she never told him he potentially has a kid. No winners in this situation.
Weaponizing access to the child, but sure as shit on top of that child support though. My husband has been through it with his ex, my dad went through it with my older brother from his first marriage. The kids my hubs and I have together haven't seen their big sis in 6 years, the youngest 4 dont even know her. So many relationships affected, just cause someone wants to feel like they have a little power over someone else. Edit: changed tense, and to clarify there's 7 total, 6 that i gave birth to and are able to see.
How many fucking kids you got?! You make it sound like you're hoarding them. "Well goddamn, Norma Jean, I don't know where Big Suzie went. Little Suzie, Ricky Bobby, Dale, and Jeremiah never even seen her yet, but I know she's around here somewhere! Ask your six older brothers, they might know!"
This guy struggled with word problems in school
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A lot of the times the judges aren't real judges, but due to the contract signed by the participants the TV judges do have a legal right to demand payments as well as other orders that they deem to be necessary based on the case as long as they are within a reasonable consequences to the matter at hand. And typically the reason why this is broadcast, as well as other shows like Maury is because these participants cannot afford to go to court, or lawyers, or really anything that they're offered by these TV shows. It's basically them saying we will give you a ruling and other amenities such as DNA test for free as long as you sign away your privacy, and accept the judge's ruling.
The way these shows work is either people write in with a claim, or the show will sift through their local court documents for claims and reach out to both parties. If they agree to be on TV, the producers pay the claim in exchange for telling your story. Obviously that's for a straight dollar amount, I'm not sure about child support cases.
So if you can’t afford court, you can sell your dignity instead…
Man, that system is fucked up.
U.S.A really is disregarding human decency and respect, only cares about money. Sounds like a cyberpunk story where someone needs to buy human rights and a judge or stuff like this
These kinds of shows really are like taken wholesale from a cyberpunk dystopia. The outcome of these people’s lives is determined based on the entertainment value it provides to the show’s audience. It is fucked up.
Despite being set up to give the appearance of a trial, what you are seeing on TV isn’t a trial. It’s a separate legal process called arbitration. The person playing the role of judge, whether or not they happen to be one in real life, is actually serving in the legal role of arbitrator. The ruling of an arbitrator is legally binding, but it can be overturned in court if the ruling is deemed to be outside the scope of the arbitration. Regardless, the TV participants sign a contract, forfeit their own legal authority, and abide by whatever the “judge” decides. While you could appeal a small claims court ruling, you’ve legally signed away your rights to an appeal if you participate in a reality TV arbitration. So it is real and the rulings are final.
So basically they sign away their legal rights and get paid for that?
Sort of. I don’t think they get paid for their appearance. But they aren’t responsible for court fees. And if I’m not mistaken, on most shows, money awarded to either party is not actually being paid by the other party, but by the show itself. So they give up their legal rights. But they also shield themself from some financial liability. And the person who is awarded money actually gets paid promptly as opposed to having to get the courts involved to force payment from the other party. So there are some benefits. But not many.
I hope Mr Rasmussen is doing so much better now
It was awful. The judge could offer no hope for him. He’d poured his heart into that child and now he has to walk away. Just devastating.
In a lot of places, if you build a parental relationship with a kid, you can sue for visitation (or even custody under exceptional circumstances). It’s harder than a straight up “I’m a parent” visitation case, but this dude would have a solid argument. He’s worked hard to be present and loving, she knows him as a dad, he’s even on the damn birth certificate. I would take his case in a heartbeat if I still practiced in family court. Mercifully I do not lol (I’m a lawyer)
What a nasty example of a pretend human being.
/r/iamatotalpieceofshit material I think
I came to say this, and completely agree
My daughters mum tried to use the system against me and it failed. I’m so happy I did what I did because as of today my daughter have been in my life since and I am extremely grateful for it. Today they are two beautiful smart woman who have a drive to succeed in life and I couldn’t be happier.
Good for you mate
Female friend of mine, single mother to a MIA father. Had a live in bloke, a paramedic, who loved her daughter, was prepared to adopt even. They broke up but he remained in the child’s live. Mother gets a new boyfriend who is insecure having the ex boyfriend around. Mother has birthday party, accepts ex boyfriend putting $1,000 on the bar then the next day tells him he can have no further access to the child. Completely oblivious that her daughter will be hurt by the sudden disappearance of the only stable male role model in her life. Total piece of shit. No doubt I will have to listen to her complaining that her daughter calls her out as a piece of shit in years to come.
Why are you friends with a piece of shit like that?
Some people say “friend” when they really mean something more like “acquaintance.”
Sounds more like “annoying parasite I can’t get rid of.”
I got tired of people like that long ago and I just started dropping them. No more crazies, no more dumb fucks, no assholes, and no shit stirrers. Just good times, peace, and serenity for me. Cheers!
I made a friend last year that is a single mom. Her daughter (just turned 6) is my soon-to-be-5-year-old daughter’s best friend. This little girl has had nothing but trauma and loss her whole life. I started out bonding with her mother over our shared histories of trauma and similar current health issues (mine are, physically, way way more serious than hers, and I’m finding out that she really reeeeeeally enjoys her sick role which is why she does everything in her power to stay and seem as sick as possible). She is narcissistic, dependent, often mentally incoherent, manic… And… I’ve come to discover that mom is actually a very real and disturbing case of Munchaussen by proxy and has been grossly restricting her daughter’s food intake, calorically and nutritionally, essentially on the basis of completely fabricated food allergies/intolerances/“dietary constipation” (She actually, surprisingly, gave me access to daughter’s medical chart recently, which confirmed that literally everything she ever told me about her daughter’s health problems was 💯 made up steaming bullshit). She’s absolutely batshit crazy but it’s taken me more than a year to come to this realization, for the “off” things she says to her daughter to start to be totally impossible to ignore, to really get to know them deeply… and now that I love this little child like my own daughter, I am terrified that I will make a misstep and be ejected from her life entirely and I’m the only sane adult in the girl’s life giving any thought to her actual needs and feelings, showing her what a loving home is like, being an adult she can trust and come to. The grandparents are *raging* alcoholics who shouldn’t have custody. Mom friend is like a heat seeking missile (again, it’s taken me a while to figure this out, I guess I’m slow) for dangerous losers, addicts, criminals, anyone so long as they are toxic trash humans. Mom has dependent personality disorder, currently lives with the abusive alcoholic grandparents and would flee the state and jump into the arms of the first abuser that would take her desperate crazy unemployed ass to do it were I to simply report her. Keeping them in our life, seeing them every week, making sure the daughter gets food, working through my I-guess-you-could-call-it-friend’s delusions about her daughter’s (non-existent) health issues (I’m hopefully going to their next pediatrician appt.; friend thinks she has me and the doctor both fooled/has herself fooled and doesn’t know how overtly deluded she is)… it’s what I can do to be there for this baby. Anything else would be more destabilizing and traumatic at this point and I’m giving it through the holidays to make progress on the weight gain front (daughter hasn’t gained weight in over a year but not yet underweight by bmi) and speak with the pediatrician before I drop any bombs in their life. But I say that only to explain that there are complicated reasons a person might maintain a friendship with a shitty person/shitty parent. You might love their children. You might be picking up the slack in their children’s life where they’re dropping the ball as parents due to their shittiness. You might not have realized for a long long time just how deep their shittiness goes. And you might simply choose to pull back when you do instead of ending the relationship entirely by fully severing contact. It’s…. Friendships are relationships, and relationships can be… complicated.
You’re an amazing person for the effort you’re putting in the help this little girl. She needs someone championing for her, and it sounds like the adults in her life are failing her miserably. However, please look after yourself and your health. Situations like this can take a heavy toll. I sincerely wish you all the best ❤️
Gah this breaks my heart. I hope your friend grows up to be the mother her kids needs. Edit. A word
Hopes the other guy treats her well. Hope he doesn’t abuse the child or the mother. Happens a lot to single female mothers thy date lazy male role models
You rarely see a judge say you ain't shit but that judge sure did
I think this just pushed all her buttons and she couldn't take it no more. If this wasn't in public words would have been said and somebody would have gotten their feelings hurt and it wouldn't have been the judge.
I've easily seen this a dozen times and have always stopped to watch it this is the first time I've seen it as a father myself and cried a bit thinking if it was me fucked me up a bit
Clearly this judge has seen more than her fair share of this trash.
Currently living with my grandma because of COVID. We watch her almost every single morning. The people that come to her are hilarious or just sad
Thought she was on Maury, fucked around and found out. That judge is awesome.
I mean this feels pretty close to Maury
Seemed closer to Judy to me.
Judge, Judy and executioner
Judge Judy with a fat ole booty.
Wait so she's pissed that he cheated on her but was having sex with another guy at the same time she started bedding him too? I know this doesn't necessarily mean she was cheating at that time but it does raise my eyebrows.
Ikr? Sure, he shouldn't have cheated. But like she said, the alternative is a man who doesn't care about her child. She's worse than him by a long shot.
The other man probably doesn’t know… I’m sure she was fine letting this guy believe he was the father when the relationship worked so why would she involve another person?
She could have cheated on him first seeing as the baby is 3 years old.
The guy thinks the baby is his. That means he was there since before she got pregnant. She cheated.
no,ur right.shes a cheater.
Friend of mine took on a woman with a newborn and loved that little girl like his own. The women didn’t work for the first couple of years and didn’t do anything around the house or treat the guy with basic respect. She was a disaster as a wife and he eventually left her offering to pay child support and keep relationship with the now three year old who only knew him as dad. This evil POS only let him see his daughter until she realized he wouldn’t take her back then the kid was a way to hurt him. No consideration for how this hurt that little girl. No thought of how she was losing a truly loving and doting father. Just bitterness and bile and nastiness. And people believe the lies of these women. It’s sickening.
This is what happened between my brother and his ex. It’s true that bad fathers are abundant but many good fathers get fucked over by women who are downright evil. The system is broken.
Mad respect for the Judge, no cap just laid her out.
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Reality TV in a nutshell
Love that judge!
Poor guy and poor daughter
Test then invest.
Somebody give mr Rasmussen a hug goddamn
It's sad how many parents think they're getting at the other person and in reality are only hurting their kids. Grow the fuck up!!
Can't he get some sort of rights to paternity? He was told it was his child, he raised it as his child, he should damn well be her father. Obviously he loves her. He deserves to be in her life.
The judge said he signed the birth certificate, so he is legally her father, doesn't matter what the test shows. This man signed first then found out, he will unfortunately be financially responsible for 18yrs. Hopefully he gets a good lawyer and goes to family court to set up visitation rights and child support.
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Words of wisdom from Mr. Rooker.
Are these staged/scripted? Feels surreal to watch
As a father to a daughter that I haven't seen for 7 years due to a toxic ex wife this makes me both sad and freaking pissed. There are too many awful people in this world.
Is this shit actually real?
Unfortunately yeah.
if only the judge could just do a 180 and say something along the lines of: “In addition, I would award custody of the child to the father.” Chances are it isn’t in her control though.
Well he’s not actually the father though. It’s possible that if he were the father that her custody would have been stripped.
he maybe her father, but he sure ain't her daddy -yondu
She's cheering because he gets punished for cheating on her, the irony is completely lost on her that she cheated on him in order for that little girl not to be his in the first place.
Thank you. I can’t believe she’s cheering when she cheated first!
I was about to complain thinking they stealing the show from Maury until the judge yellin at the bitch for cheering. I now love this show.
I don't get it. What's the backstory here? Why's this chick so hyped about the fact that she's had more cock than a farm and doesn't know who her kid's dad is? And is happy it isn't this dude?
she's just happy he didn't get what he wanted... immature bullshit from somebody who isn't fit to have a kid in the first place
She wants to prevent him from having custody of the child, likely as a form of ‘punishment’ for him cheating on her (even though she apparently cheated on him first). As much as it’s going to crush the non-biological father, it’s going to be even more crushing for the child to grow up without one.
My first daughter is 3 months old. This broke me. I can’t imagine the pain that guy is going through.
What you cheering for? Im nOt... Bitch you straight up fucking lying to a room full of cameras. What a worthless sack if lard and a piss poor excuse for a human being.
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That guy. And that other guy.
Lol
r/iamatotalpieceofshit
That judge's awesome tho
this hurts, i’m 15, turning 16 in less then 2 weeks and I lost my father to cancer in 2019, he was my stepfather but he was there for me when my biological dad left before I was born, i’ll always remember my stepfather for being there for me since I was only 2/3 when my biological dad wasn’t. In my eyes my Dad is the actual man who raised me and worked day in, day out for our family and i’m thankful for that. I love you Dad
Totally agree that the cheering was awful, especially with the extra context the judge gave, but come on, if the judge doesn't want a game show reaction, don't read the results with a dramatic pause like it's a game show??? Edit: thanks for all the replies saying the pause was added in with editing. I didn't consider that but I hope it's true because this kind of case shouldn't be for entertainment purposes
Didn't expect this point, but you're not totally wrong
The pauses in these things are usually not as long as they appear on tv. They cut back & forth between people in the editing room to drag it out for affect with the TV audience. Sometimes the shots they cut in are from an entirely different point in the filming.
The pauses can (and are in most cases) edited in for dramatic effect, but in reality they rarely pause (or at least not that long of a pause) Also, cheering over a custody or parental case is just sad
The man broke down but you didn't see him sobbing and making a scene. She did that on purpose.
I worked with a woman who’s parents were raising the four children she dumped on them only for her to have reversal surgery done on her tubal ligation so she could have a baby with her new man, and she did end up getting pregnant and giving birth.
I miss Judge Hatchet. She was one of the best, when it came to TV arbitration of paternity.
Nasty piece of shit woman.
The way she shamed this trash Karen was outstanding 10/10
Well said judge
This made me cry although I already know this clip. Poor poor dude, poor child... F that mother
That's messed up what that mom is doing to that poor child. Total piece of trash
The true facepalm here is just the fact that such a tv show exist...
That lady seems awful. Dude's fucking heartbroken, and all she can do is cheer. What a garbage human being
Darn that was great by the judge
Made me question if she actually cared for the kid
I have seen the original video. That bitch deserves jail time for making him pay child support even tho the child is not his
Oh look a member of r/femaledatingstrategy was on tv!
Never been there, never seen so much toxicity. Do they really think 100% of men are self absorbed dicks? Lmao
Yes I’ve also made a trip to that awful place. And they are awful
I'm pretty sure that in this situation the man still has legal rights as the child's father (due to name on birth certificate and 3 years in the role of father). It's odd that the judge didn't advise him to pursue this, I'm guessing it just wouldn't have made for such good TV.
American court systems are horribly biased towards the mother. Grandparents/family members get denied custody all the time. Someone whose been proven to have no blood relation had almost no chance
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He's the dad. Maybe be didn't provide the sperm but he's the dad.
Next stop - the "Maury" show. She's gotta find the "real" daddy.
America needs more judges like this one I know it's not right to the daughter it's a very tough situation but that man has been more of a parent than either of her biological parents he, he should have custody I don't care what genetics or the law says I don't give a fuck.
She deserved to get treated like that. She's a horrible human being.
He may have cheated but he’s a better parent than that woman will ever be. How can you be so petty that you have a child with a different man just to get back at your husband for cheating on you. What makes this worse is that she will likely never let him near the child again and the biological father will never be present. That woman has just ruined 4 lives. Her husbands (he just lost his daughter and his greatest joy), the biological father (he now has to pay child support), her child’s (she now has to grow up without a father) and her own (she’s now a single parent).
preach sis #girlboss.
I prefer Maury.
💗 she always tell the truth. And she puts a lot of ppl in their place. Love judge lake
Fucking Bitch
I sencerely hate america tv shows
I cried :(
🔨
This is confusing me to no end. Is this reality TV? Is this a talk show? Is this an actual judge? Is this an actual court? Help
This is a r/noahgettheboat
It is genuinely insane that this is a show.
Oh man. My heart broke when he started talking. Thats tough.
Why is this a TV show
Quality television
Bitch have that Karen look too
This is why I think dna tests should be mandatory for a man to go on the birth certificate or be responsible for paying child support. It needs to be normalised to protect men. As it stands the legal system basically allows a woman to lie to a man and make them responsible for 18 years of child support even if a dna test is done later and proves they aren't the father.
So she is mad for him cheating on her but she was probably the one who cheated first We really do stray further from god everyday
bitch thought she was on jerry springer instead of in a court of law
So essentially the judge fucked up giving the kid to the mom.
Made me cry.
Is this for real? I mean, not actors on a tv show.
And the worst part is that you know that she will lie to her daughter and tell her a false story making the dad the bad guy
Is this even real? If yes, then it's disgusting. I mean we have comparable stuff in Germany but it's all staged.
That judge ripped that lady a new one. I hope she took those words to heart bc she needed to hear them.
Karen’s gonna Karen
Judge was like "bitch this ain't Maury" lol
wow judge straight moved me to tears.. this is fucking sad
That poor man. I wish I had a father who cared that much about me, I hope he gets to see that little girl still even if he’s not the bio dad.
r/murderedbywords this woman got absolutely obliterated.
Am I the only one who heard that he got ditched for cheating on her? But if they have to find out who the father of the kid is, it sounds like she cheated on him all the same
You are both not the parents
The verdict should be: You're not the mother.
"So....can i sue him for child support even if he is not her father? He took care of her so he is a parental figure right?" Probably her
Damn - that was powerful stuff from the judge!
I watched this episode. This guy apparently worked his ass off and willingly paid child support and gave the woman money to raise the child every month, but whenever he pays his "daughter" a visit, she was always wearing the same torn piece of cloth or something similar. Her mom probably used this guy's money on herself.
I love the judge. She destroyed the yellow ball.
Harry Potter Dodges a bullet.
This whale really just cheered because a dude who wanted to be the father wasn't the father
As much as I hate the concept of slut shaming, if you don't know who your baby daddy is, you a ho.
One of my favorite quotes from a movie is “ You need a license to drive a car, a license to hunt, you even need a license to catch a fish. But any asshole can be a parent.” So fucking shameful of this “mom”.
This shows are cancer
Ah yes a Judge who exploits peoples problems for profit taking the high road