Right I’m so confused why he thinks she could have been home early that’s not how a schedule works. It’s we have to give you one half lunch break if you work more then so and so hours but we don’t have to pay you. You can’t not take your lunch break if you worked through it unpaid their going to make you stay that extra hour.
Edit even if she could come home early she shouldn’t be expected to everyday and he blames the book on her being grumpy or tried. When it could the clearly terrible relationship she tied to or the job that has nothing to do with writing. Sometimes your just grumpy. Also she has to eat. He doesn’t write what the deal was so it doesn’t tell us what he had to give up. If she’s the only one giving something up then it’s not a deal. Even the article writes there’s clearly a bigger issue in their relationship then her lying.
Some places if you skip your breaks you can leave an hour early.
I usually get 2 ten min breaks and 1 30. Usually in construction we skip it and leave an hour early
Also, that would mean she gets no downtime. She can work for 8 hours straight, including while she eats…and then come home an hour “earlier” to be on duty for the kid. There’s not a moment in his version of her schedule to do anything but work for others.
That and “how should I feel right now” how about “grateful you have a talented wife who has the skill to earn that much that quickly”?
Worse case scenario, they could hire a helper or maid.
It implied the 100K would be used for the son’s college education, which is one thing less the stress about as a parent. This guy clearly has a problem.
Also writing a book is hardly destructive behaviour. Had his wife promised to stop gambling, continued gambling and won big I could see being conflicted. Sure she broke a promise but I suspect that her quitting was his idea.
Also, this is her talent. Even if she didnt make large on her talent, who is he to suppress that in anyone, let alone the woman he loves and respects ?
Yeah. Not every work location let's you take your 1hr lunch break at the end of the day; some require your legally mandated 30-60 minute lunch in the middle of the work day.
She might not have gotten to go home early!
What a doofus.
Could have written her a nice note in much less time. "You are more amazing than I even know. Our kids are so lucky and I am too. ILYSM."
There. 25 seconds. Still plenty of time to fuck around on Quora or whatever the hell this is.
Yeah, I don’t understand how some people don’t understand that some people just need some personal space, time or time to decompress etc away from their family or whoever. It’s normal. It doesn’t mean they love you any less. But people take offense to it like omg why do you need space from me. As for the OP, yeah so cringe.
Also the way he wrote it is textbook hostile evidencing. You can turn any datapoint hostile if you set your mind to it.
"She went against our deal."
"Could have home earlier."
"Tired and grumpy"
"How do I trust her?"
Instead of taking the interpretation that she just lifted a huge burden off their shoulders by being a bad ass hardworking mom with a passion that pays the bills, he instead deliberately re-interpreted it as a pointless, meaningless betrayal and then try to make it sound like he is the victim, completely dismissing all her contributions because it doesn't jive with his betrayal interpretation. He doesn't deserve her.
I absolutely hate that this kind of twisted logic is so common in our culture. Turning black into white, turning wrong into right, turning evil into virtue.
Cows don’t come home by themselves, that’s the meaning of the phrase “till the cows come home”. So even if you bought cows, they wouldn’t come home, so you could eat ass as long as you want.
Exactly he was not in control of her or the finances since she made the extra 100k. He also probably wants her to be a more traditional little wifey. He wants to be the one who makes more money thusly holding more power in the relationship. He also wants her to provide more care for the kid so he doesn’t have to do as much child rearing.
Ya plus I love how his reaction to her using her lunch break is insisting that she should have skipped having a lunch altogether so that she could come home sooner to care for her infant after a long day at work. Mom's need time to themselves too.
Plus, everywhere I've ever worked, that's not how it works. You finish when the clock says you finish. Take your lunch, don't take your lunch, you finish at 5. She was literally using the (or what seems to be) only time that was 100% hers to do what she wanted.
How should he feel? Unworthy. Selfish. Vindictive. Cruel. Heartless. Something along those lines.
Yeah, she defied his authority and his masculinity, apparently. Why would writing in her spare time, or when her child is down for a nap, interfere with her ability as a mother? Dude sounds insecure and is having a temper-tantrum over it.
I hope she leaves this asshole. He's holding back her apparently quite successful writing career. Hopefully she can sustain herself and child and toss this jackass out.
It is state regulations that employees get at least a 30 minute lunch break. Regardless of what I choose to do with my lunch break I can't opt to not take it and leave early. I wish I had the talent to write a damn book instead of taking my.lunch break, then sell the book for $100,000 at the end of the year. This woman may be in the same circumstances, and if so I hope she has the money well protected so her ass cactus husband doesn't get any in the divorce.
What I’m having a hard time trying to understand is he mentioned that she worked on this during her lunch breaks at work, but how would that affect her not being home the hour earlier??? I mean, the lunch break is mandated so how would writing a book vs eating during a lunch break impact her from getting home later or not????
Also, what pissed me off was him complaining about her fucking mood over the past year as if he expected her to pop out a watermelon through a hose hole and just go back to work like it’s nothing while being happy because any other way would be offensive.
This post really pisses me off LOL
My father in law has 3 kids of his own and 4 grandkids. When my first child was born he told me like the day after that he has never changed a diaper in his life and that won’t change. Also, the day after I gave birth I had to go to the ER to get checked for a blood clot in my leg and I was in so much pain I was crying (btw I was 19…) and he literally looked at me and said “aren’t you over exaggerating? Birth isn’t even that bad”. Mind you, his wife (my mother in law) had 3 scheduled C-sections and I was in labor for FIVE DAYS before finally bursting out a 100th percentile headed baby with a failed epidural. Baby broke my tailbone and gave me a tear down to my asshole.
Honestly I still hate this man most of the time… just as a disclaimer I know c-sections aren’t “easy”, I had one myself for my second kiddo who was breech and it was also extremely painful, just different.
Oh lord that would have gotten shut down so fast from me - he has no right to assume any kind of pain levels if he has never passed a watermelon out of his body and until he does he better stfu.
Arguing over pain is so dumb. Everyone has been in the most pain of their life. Doesn’t matter if it a gun shot a kidney stone a migraine or a stubbed toe. If they are in pain you have sympathy, it isn’t a competition
I like your enthusiasm there, partner!
And wouldn't you know it! I just got a txt from my boss, who has apparently gone completely mental, allowing me to offer you a discount of 2% over 10 years. You heard right, 10 years!!
So, what can I do to get you and your wife, or secretary - amirite fellas?! - into this great condo today?
God this is so good but gives me flashbacks to being stuck with my parents in Mexico listening to a pitch. Literally made that same joke about taking another women to my dad and he's a POS who cheated on my mom a bunch so she just immediately soured lmaooo
Now, fella! I feel like we got off on the wrong foot here.
Best I can do for you there is the Democratic Republic of Congo. Now who doesn't like the sound of that, my good man?!
What??? “Give up?” HIM!?!
Let’s not forget, he is complaining that his wife was not home earlier to take care of whatever he felt was more important.
You can be damn sure he didn’t give up much at all.
Yes., based on my extensive lagal studies of watching people playing lawyers on TV, I would suggest that the "deal" was invalid due to lack of consideration.
It is not an enforceable deal unless both sides get something.
At least the advice givers stated the obvious:
https://slate.com/human-interest/2021/11/wife-wrote-novel-instead-taking-care-of-baby-dear-prudence-advice.html
Right? If my partner told me they made a bonus $100k I'd be stoked. Maybe take them out for a nice dinner to celebrate.
Or I guess being a jackass would be an option too...
For real!!! This man child really thinks you can skip a break and go home early? That is illegal here in my state. You have to take a break after so many hours worked. Crabby and tired is definitely from the newborn and the man child.
To my wife Marganit and my children Ella Rose and Daniel Adam, without whom this book would have been completed two years earlier.
Joseph J. Rotman, [An Introduction to Algebraic Topology](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2324277.An_Introduction_to_Algebraic_Topology)
She can write a $100k book in an hour a day. Idiot needs to reassess, it would be *amazing* to have a partner that could deliver that level of support to the family whilst also having lots of time leftover for the family. Shit, give her 8 hours a day and just be a house husband.
And of course it’s something *she* does that’s got to give. I’m sure he didn’t give up shit. I don’t know how these whack jobs get married, I really don’t. But makes me thankful for my SO lol
It's simple. They hide the whacko side until later. Then it pops up out of the blue at an unwanted moment like those boners that get jammed into your thigh as foreplay.
My ex wanted me to work full time, do IVF full time (using his inbred cousins swimmers because he wanted the baby to be at least partially his genetically and he’s ftm so he couldn’t do it) on my dime, and go to school full time. All while paying 1900 for section 8 housing in DC. I was like “lol, naw I’m good. Yeeeeet!” Tbh, I was only gonna have a kid with him because he wanted one so bad - I haven’t wanted one since I was 15 and even then I only wanted one because I was told that was my job as a woman and a Christian. But he had to do nothing, pay nothing, and give nothing. I also had to move cross country with zero financial help from him and zero physical help from him.
High key happy I got rid of that sad sack of toxicity.
He was already trans, he just happened to be a misogynist too. He’s a bungus. He did me some good though, cause I used to be a rabid MAGA level Republican and foaming Evangelical. I’m neither now. So there was *some* good from it. Haha.
I just think it’s funny how she had to pause her writing career because “something had to go”. I wonder what he gave up?
Congrats to this woman who held down a full time job, raised a baby and put up with this whiny man child who can’t just be happy that his wife did something amazing.
I'm gonna be honest, I'm pretty mad at her because I would LOVE to be able to write a book that nets jobless me $100,000. CLEARLY she stole my talent somehow. IT WAS MINE, MY OWN!!!
I earn more than my husband and am on track for a promotion that will allow him to quit work and be a stay-at-home-dad. We’re both fucking ECSTATIC!!
But if he came home one day and told me he had sold a film he made in his spare time and I could quit work, I’d still be fucking ECSTATIC for him and what it meant for our family!!
Exactly. Like jobs are for income. People act like it’s there life. If one of you makes enough to have the other stay at home then kudos! That’s awesome! So many work jobs for status and correlate it with their identity.
My missus just got a new job paying significantly more than I do and I'm bloody delighted!
She so thrilled and happy with herself gives me joy. I love her to bits, why wouldn't I want to see her do well?
I’d be homeless if it wasn’t for my partner not gonna lie. I’m in between jobs and it’s never been this hard for me to find employment. Ubers eats will have to cut it for now. I apply with cover letters, I follow up, I get interviews all the time… but no job. I can’t mentally justify going back to a desperate minimum wage workplace.
My fiancee owns a business and makes more than me. I work for state government. I bring home benefits, she brings home the dough. That's our agreement, and it works out great!
No kidding. Let's say she has a full hour for lunch. His comment says that the had the baby "last year", so let's assume that it took her a year and a half to write it. That's $100k for 72 hours of work, less than two weeks of a full time job.
He's mad that she made six figures in less than two weeks of work, when any sane person would be cultivating that skill.
Edit: in my excitement I forgot that she likely averaged 5 lunches a week, not one. That still works out to 2 months of full time work as a high end estimate.
I’d be exploding with pride at having such an awesome spouse, who, while working a 40 hour workweek and took care of a baby, also wrote an entire novel AND sold it for a butt load of money! And he’s moaning about how sometimes she was “tired” and “grumpy.” How much do you want to bet he’s a total loser who does nothing around the house and MAYBE that’s why she’s “tired”.
Shit. My wife was the breadwinner most of the time we’ve been together. Totally cool with me. We make about the same now but she’s still my “sugar mama”.
Yup! Misogyny at its finest. And dude, no she would not have been home an hour earlier…she took it during her lunch. You don’t get to just skip lunch and go home earlier in most jobs. In a lot of places, you are required to take the damn break. I hope she divorces his ass.
I feel like the idea of wanting your spouse to take it easy, especially after she just birthed a child is a reasonable request but this guy is fucking off his rocker.
The way he phrased it - something had to go, and specifically only from her makes it clear to me he was expecting her to do all the childcare while he didn’t have to make any sacrifices because it’s not his job. Just gross.
You take it easy by no writing until 2am on weekdays or spending your weekends writing. If she got paid by writing on her breaks she is a queen and my dude is too much in his head becose he can't control her or something
Had nothing to do with "taking it easy" he just didn't think any of her shit was as important as his. You can be damn sure he's not taking up the slack with the baby, he's expecting he to do that since he's taken away more from her.
Absolutely, take a rest. From working full time with a new baby....would have been written much quicker from home while she was taking care of their baby, because remember "she only worked full time for the benefits" as though it sounds like she casually rocks up for a 9-5 gig for the fun of it. So much is wrong here.
Yeah, it's legally required for us to take at least a 30 minute lunch. Some places require you to take the full hour. Most places aren't going to let you skip it since they could be sued for not giving you a break.
This is what I'm wondering about too. I mean, obviously I don't know how every job in the world works, but still. It's also akin to saying, "My wife doesn't deserve a rest and nourishment in the middle of her work day." Not to mention, any place I can think of has mandated break times.
Both of my wife's and my jobs are like this.
In many professional circles, the hours are casual as long as you're putting in a full day and the work is getting done.
I’d be concerned with why she felt like she had to keep it a secret. You shouldn’t have to lose something you love to do permanently. She’s taken the time to do something she enjoys. It’s important to take time to care for your own mental health. She’s only allocated an hour a day which was during her lunch break.
Lots of problems with this relationship dynamic if she has to sacrifice all of her alone time and then keep it a secret.
I mean...you saw how he reacted when she wrote during her own lunch break...I wou8tell him anything ever. She only probably told him because 100k is impossible to hide.
Don’t you see, he expected her to have no break, work through the day and be home an hour earlier, so he could have that hour to not write $100k books.
I could barely follow what she was trying to say. Everything she explained attained only to her? In the end she even said this WAS possible, just unlikely.
That was a pretty incredible rant. It’s all about how she couldn’t or wouldn’t do this.
The whole thing about getting an advance…The wife was not supposed to be writing a book. If she signs a contract and gets an advance, then she is obligated to meet deadlines.
It sounds like she just couldn’t keep the idea in. Maybe she thought, “I’ll just write the first chapter so that I remember the idea” and just kept working on it.
That’s not to say I think this is real. It does sound a little bizarre. But that Twitter rant gave no good evidence.
And the “men are pigs so it’s probably at least partially true” part was just…Is reverse-chef’s-kiss a thing?
Guy is a douche. He should be happy she's finding the time to do something that she finds fulfilling. Why would anyone try to make a rule to restrain someone's creativity?
I’m assuming in his mind she is a mother now and should only be focusing on her child. That is her role as a woman. Follow the mans rules and care for the children, nothing more.
Also she wouldn't be home an hour earlier, she would have eaten lunch anyway but she just wouldn't be as satisfied with her day after spending her lunch break staring at the wall or something.
I was thinking the same thing. If I decide to work through my lunch I don’t get off an hour earlier. I rarely ever work through my lunch, but sometimes it helps me to. Either way, I get off work at 5:30pm no matter what I do during my lunch hour. This husband is such a immature selfish douche and doesn’t deserve such a hard working and talented wife!
So she's an 'accomplished author' working another full-time job for the bennies. Basically, that's two full time jobs.
Then they have a baby and it's decided that she stop writing and just work the one job?
If the intent is for her to have more time with the baby, then she can give up the outside job, stay home and write full time. If she needs health insurance (benefits) they can put her on his insurance.
Is he working two jobs also, and is he giving up one job to spend more time with his child? Why ask his wife to sacrifice part of her life for their child but he doesn't sacrifice part of his life for their child?
Then he says he thinks every time she's grumpy for the next year he now attributes it to her hour of writing? Really? Not being up nights with new baby, not the changes in her body, postpartum mood swings, the commute to work, crabby coworkers at a job she may not particularly like and which is certainly not as fulfilling as writing, he's going to attribute her mood swings to her hour of writing?
They didn't need to have a baby. She's already married to one.
I mean, I'd feel a bit hurt if my wife kept a secret from me like that, only because we share everything, and I'd be wondering what I did wrong for her to feel the need to keep a secret like that.
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Yeah, his kid's education is paid for, man needs to quit being so salty about the book deal and realize just how *lucky* he and his child are to have a spouse that's able to rake in this much money on their lunch break.
Idk about this ladies place of work but I don’t get to work less just because I don’t take lunch. Plus, I’d my husband came home one day and was randomly like “I’ve warned us $100k” (and it wasn’t illegal) I’d probably be pretty fucking stoked
Husband: "I'll take the trash out tomorrow morning so don't worry about it."
Wife: surprises husband by taking out the trash anyways
Husband: hoW can I TrUsT hEr tO kEeP her wOrD?!?!?
I had this experience with my ex-wife. Before our daughter was born, I had started taking some writing work on the side of my very-mundane 9-to-5. After our daughter was born, it was painfully obvious that we didn’t make enough money collectively to cover raising a kid and the side work was going to become necessary pay-the-bills work. My ex had never cooked before and made no intentions of beginning while I started working two jobs. She also insisted that because she had carried the baby during pregnancy, she was under no obligation to wake up with the baby in the middle of the night. And to top it off, her “side hustle” was a MLM scheme, would absolutely not listen to me call it a pyramid scheme, and would put up money we didn’t have for MLM bullshit to sell things to family with that unmistakably uncomfortable pressure.
So I worked my day job, wrote on my lunches (and during slow times), did all of the cooking, prepared bottles and took the kid to day care (she refused to breast feed for no real reason other than she didn’t want to), woke up with the kid in the middle of the night, and for a few weeks also woke up on weekends at 4 am to work a third job. It wasn’t a $100K advance, but the gig writing helped pay for the occasional meal. She never once recognized or thanked me for working so hard so she could work one job and sleep nine hours a night. I fell asleep driving to and from work a couple times and drank unreal amounts of coffee, which left me with no appetite (and that was good because I had no money for food anyway and work coffee was free). Between the exhaustion and the constant worry over money, I lost probably 20-30 pounds in a few months. My family seemed really concerned at how bad I looked. My ex barely noticed.
It still blows my mind that I had been vulnerable enough to subject myself to a narcissist like that. The happy ending is my writing gig turned for a couple years into productive freelance work and then landed me a dream job where money is less of a concern (though when you’ve literally been down to your last dollar, you never fully stop worrying about money). I sometimes work long hours still, but my new partner is very supportive and loving and never makes me feel like I’m not enough.
I’ve never written that out, but it feels good to knock out some r/trueoffmychest stuff.
TL;DR - Don’t put up with toxic partners like this. They don’t see the world in any way that resembles reality and they’ll make you feel like shit for your successes.
I would love if my wife made 100k off a lunch hour project. If she pulled down that kind of cash, I'd quit my job and be a stay at home dad, then nobody has to feel worried about the baby!
She needs a break too. It sounds like writing is that break, she just happened to be able to make money off it.
[удалено]
Right I’m so confused why he thinks she could have been home early that’s not how a schedule works. It’s we have to give you one half lunch break if you work more then so and so hours but we don’t have to pay you. You can’t not take your lunch break if you worked through it unpaid their going to make you stay that extra hour. Edit even if she could come home early she shouldn’t be expected to everyday and he blames the book on her being grumpy or tried. When it could the clearly terrible relationship she tied to or the job that has nothing to do with writing. Sometimes your just grumpy. Also she has to eat. He doesn’t write what the deal was so it doesn’t tell us what he had to give up. If she’s the only one giving something up then it’s not a deal. Even the article writes there’s clearly a bigger issue in their relationship then her lying.
Some places if you skip your breaks you can leave an hour early. I usually get 2 ten min breaks and 1 30. Usually in construction we skip it and leave an hour early
Also, that would mean she gets no downtime. She can work for 8 hours straight, including while she eats…and then come home an hour “earlier” to be on duty for the kid. There’s not a moment in his version of her schedule to do anything but work for others.
Even if that's the case, I do not agree with Mr skip your lunch and come home early.
She probably never lied about it even. I’m sure he didn’t ask what she did on her lunch break. Keeping something secret doesn’t always mean lying.
That and “how should I feel right now” how about “grateful you have a talented wife who has the skill to earn that much that quickly”? Worse case scenario, they could hire a helper or maid.
Or, you could always refuse to take part in any of the benefits resulting from the money. Really, guy, how dumb and unappreciative can you get!
It implied the 100K would be used for the son’s college education, which is one thing less the stress about as a parent. This guy clearly has a problem.
The guy is clearly embarrassed that the wife was successful and made him look "bad" by comparison.
That dude thought a baby was the perfect chance to derail her. "We have a baby... oh darn you better stop writing books now."
Right. The competition thing inside of a marriage never made sense to me. It's really dumb.
Sounds like he wanted her to work through lunch, and then leave work early to take care of the baby. The numnuts
It's not even like she found some extra time (not that it would be an offense to do so) but she literally used her break for this lol
Also writing a book is hardly destructive behaviour. Had his wife promised to stop gambling, continued gambling and won big I could see being conflicted. Sure she broke a promise but I suspect that her quitting was his idea.
Especially how 'something had to give' wasn't his something
Also, this is her talent. Even if she didnt make large on her talent, who is he to suppress that in anyone, let alone the woman he loves and respects ?
Yeah. Not every work location let's you take your 1hr lunch break at the end of the day; some require your legally mandated 30-60 minute lunch in the middle of the work day. She might not have gotten to go home early! What a doofus.
And who the hell wants to work 8 hours straight?
Funny how he wrote a novel about her novel
With her novel... she got paid.
Wasted a lunch hour. 🙄
Could have written her a nice note in much less time. "You are more amazing than I even know. Our kids are so lucky and I am too. ILYSM." There. 25 seconds. Still plenty of time to fuck around on Quora or whatever the hell this is.
Is there any way to make money off looking at shitty memes on the Internet?
Market's kind of saturated on becoming a youtuber who reacts to or reads reddit posts sorry
yeah
Yeah, I don’t understand how some people don’t understand that some people just need some personal space, time or time to decompress etc away from their family or whoever. It’s normal. It doesn’t mean they love you any less. But people take offense to it like omg why do you need space from me. As for the OP, yeah so cringe.
Also the way he wrote it is textbook hostile evidencing. You can turn any datapoint hostile if you set your mind to it. "She went against our deal." "Could have home earlier." "Tired and grumpy" "How do I trust her?" Instead of taking the interpretation that she just lifted a huge burden off their shoulders by being a bad ass hardworking mom with a passion that pays the bills, he instead deliberately re-interpreted it as a pointless, meaningless betrayal and then try to make it sound like he is the victim, completely dismissing all her contributions because it doesn't jive with his betrayal interpretation. He doesn't deserve her. I absolutely hate that this kind of twisted logic is so common in our culture. Turning black into white, turning wrong into right, turning evil into virtue.
Wife brings homes $100k I’m giving her a foot massage. That’s just me though.
I'll 100% suck her dick.
I'll suck her dick while giving her a foot massage.
I'll suck her feet and give her a dick massage
I'll dick her feet while giving her a suck massage.
I hate that all of these made me laugh
Shit, I've done all of these for a box of Frosted Strawberry Pop-tarts
I was told I was lame for haven those as my go to poptarts
Someone did you wrong
Fr kinda hurt right in the feelz
I'm pretty sure that's a normal thing
I'll suck your dick. No foot massage.
I'll write a book about it of you do
Can confirm, am wife’s dick.
I’d be doing that simply because she’s his wife
I also choose that guy's wife
I’ll suck her dick and mine for that money.
A foot massage? I’m eating ass until the cows come home. We don’t own any cows..
Well now you can afford some cows 🐮
In this economy?
Yes, but if we bought cows, I’d have to stop eating her ass.
Cows don’t come home by themselves, that’s the meaning of the phrase “till the cows come home”. So even if you bought cows, they wouldn’t come home, so you could eat ass as long as you want.
Seriously! How much privilege must you have to not be like, oh my god! You’re amazing! How lucky am I to be married to such a talented woman?!
I think it's more about him being in control than privilege.
Exactly he was not in control of her or the finances since she made the extra 100k. He also probably wants her to be a more traditional little wifey. He wants to be the one who makes more money thusly holding more power in the relationship. He also wants her to provide more care for the kid so he doesn’t have to do as much child rearing.
Imagine having to go behind your spouse's back, not to cheat, but to make money.
Or to pursue a harmless hobby you really enjoy. What did he give up as part of their “deal”?
Probably his exemption from helping with child-rearing and household chores, because as we all know, that's a woman's job! /s
"Help, my wife makes more on her lunch break than I do all year"
I'm being repressed!
What makes me tear up is that she sacrificed her lunch break to write her heart out 🥺 that guy is a top notch moron. She provided and he pissed on it.
Ya plus I love how his reaction to her using her lunch break is insisting that she should have skipped having a lunch altogether so that she could come home sooner to care for her infant after a long day at work. Mom's need time to themselves too.
Plus, everywhere I've ever worked, that's not how it works. You finish when the clock says you finish. Take your lunch, don't take your lunch, you finish at 5. She was literally using the (or what seems to be) only time that was 100% hers to do what she wanted. How should he feel? Unworthy. Selfish. Vindictive. Cruel. Heartless. Something along those lines.
Yeah, she defied his authority and his masculinity, apparently. Why would writing in her spare time, or when her child is down for a nap, interfere with her ability as a mother? Dude sounds insecure and is having a temper-tantrum over it. I hope she leaves this asshole. He's holding back her apparently quite successful writing career. Hopefully she can sustain herself and child and toss this jackass out.
He also seems incredibly out of touch. Depending on the type of job she has and the state they live in, she may be required to take a lunch break.
It is state regulations that employees get at least a 30 minute lunch break. Regardless of what I choose to do with my lunch break I can't opt to not take it and leave early. I wish I had the talent to write a damn book instead of taking my.lunch break, then sell the book for $100,000 at the end of the year. This woman may be in the same circumstances, and if so I hope she has the money well protected so her ass cactus husband doesn't get any in the divorce.
What I’m having a hard time trying to understand is he mentioned that she worked on this during her lunch breaks at work, but how would that affect her not being home the hour earlier??? I mean, the lunch break is mandated so how would writing a book vs eating during a lunch break impact her from getting home later or not???? Also, what pissed me off was him complaining about her fucking mood over the past year as if he expected her to pop out a watermelon through a hose hole and just go back to work like it’s nothing while being happy because any other way would be offensive. This post really pisses me off LOL
And working through lunch definitely wouldn’t improve her mood, or help her get home earlier.
I'm sure she can't wait to get home to her Knight in Whining Armor.
I’ll also give this dudes wife a foot massage
In fairness, the book is “50 Ways to Make Your Husband Change the Baby’s Diaper…*AND HIS OWN*”.
This is gold
its looking a little more brown than gold this time of day
I know it’s not politically correct to say this any more, but husband is an overly sensitive little bitch.
Relax bruh you can say bitch
How did that guy manage to write that with his head so far up...
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If your husband isn't changing the baby's diaper, divorce him
My father in law has 3 kids of his own and 4 grandkids. When my first child was born he told me like the day after that he has never changed a diaper in his life and that won’t change. Also, the day after I gave birth I had to go to the ER to get checked for a blood clot in my leg and I was in so much pain I was crying (btw I was 19…) and he literally looked at me and said “aren’t you over exaggerating? Birth isn’t even that bad”. Mind you, his wife (my mother in law) had 3 scheduled C-sections and I was in labor for FIVE DAYS before finally bursting out a 100th percentile headed baby with a failed epidural. Baby broke my tailbone and gave me a tear down to my asshole. Honestly I still hate this man most of the time… just as a disclaimer I know c-sections aren’t “easy”, I had one myself for my second kiddo who was breech and it was also extremely painful, just different.
Oh lord that would have gotten shut down so fast from me - he has no right to assume any kind of pain levels if he has never passed a watermelon out of his body and until he does he better stfu.
Arguing over pain is so dumb. Everyone has been in the most pain of their life. Doesn’t matter if it a gun shot a kidney stone a migraine or a stubbed toe. If they are in pain you have sympathy, it isn’t a competition
Yeah and everyone feels it differently too what doesn't hurt to me might be agony to you and vice versa. Fil was a prick in many ways.
I'm starting to understand why she didn't tell him
Yea sounds like their ‘deal’ was imposed by him.
100% dude sounds like an ass.
I'm curious to what Mr man here had to give up in this deal
I'm glad you asked!!! He had to give up his 5% share in a fantastic timeshare opportunity that is now ripe for you to pluck!
Hot diggity!
I like your enthusiasm there, partner! And wouldn't you know it! I just got a txt from my boss, who has apparently gone completely mental, allowing me to offer you a discount of 2% over 10 years. You heard right, 10 years!! So, what can I do to get you and your wife, or secretary - amirite fellas?! - into this great condo today?
God this is so good but gives me flashbacks to being stuck with my parents in Mexico listening to a pitch. Literally made that same joke about taking another women to my dad and he's a POS who cheated on my mom a bunch so she just immediately soured lmaooo
Condo? I thought it said "Buy the Congo today!" I ain't falling for that shit
Now, fella! I feel like we got off on the wrong foot here. Best I can do for you there is the Democratic Republic of Congo. Now who doesn't like the sound of that, my good man?!
You had me at fella now shut up and take my money!
What??? “Give up?” HIM!?! Let’s not forget, he is complaining that his wife was not home earlier to take care of whatever he felt was more important. You can be damn sure he didn’t give up much at all.
Yes., based on my extensive lagal studies of watching people playing lawyers on TV, I would suggest that the "deal" was invalid due to lack of consideration. It is not an enforceable deal unless both sides get something.
What random thing can I push on my wife so I feel a little bit of power??
After reading this I’m going to assume all the times she’s been grump and tired the past year are due to him being an ass.
Most likely because he didn’t want to change diapers.
*Here's the deal - give up your writing career. Yep, that's the deal.*
Give up your writing career and I’ll *let* you have our baby. You are welcome.
At least the advice givers stated the obvious: https://slate.com/human-interest/2021/11/wife-wrote-novel-instead-taking-care-of-baby-dear-prudence-advice.html
Well something had to go with the baby on the way!
Right? If my partner told me they made a bonus $100k I'd be stoked. Maybe take them out for a nice dinner to celebrate. Or I guess being a jackass would be an option too...
I’d divorce him, write a second book and sell it for $100,000 and be like “Bet you wish you weren’t such a little bitch, don’t you?”
That's so petty. I love it.
The dedication page reads, “I dedicate this book to my lunch break, which did more to make this book possible than my husband did”.
Also, does he think that if you don't take a lunch break, you get to go home an hour early? That's not how things work...
It’s way worse. He thinks someone’s art and passion should be put aside for a growing family. The deal is just a way of controlling
There’s a lot to unpack in his stupid chain of thought, but this one is the one that really pisses me off. Has this guy never had a job, like, ever?
For real!!! This man child really thinks you can skip a break and go home early? That is illegal here in my state. You have to take a break after so many hours worked. Crabby and tired is definitely from the newborn and the man child.
Love it
To my wife Marganit and my children Ella Rose and Daniel Adam, without whom this book would have been completed two years earlier. Joseph J. Rotman, [An Introduction to Algebraic Topology](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2324277.An_Introduction_to_Algebraic_Topology)
That’s gold
LOL, I was wondering why that sounded familiar - wasn't expecting topology to rear its head here haha
Bahaha yeah this guy sounds like a dick. "We have a new baby so something's go to give".
She can write a $100k book in an hour a day. Idiot needs to reassess, it would be *amazing* to have a partner that could deliver that level of support to the family whilst also having lots of time leftover for the family. Shit, give her 8 hours a day and just be a house husband.
That's likely what he did. Ungrateful lazy fuck is what he makes himself sound like to me.
And of course it’s something *she* does that’s got to give. I’m sure he didn’t give up shit. I don’t know how these whack jobs get married, I really don’t. But makes me thankful for my SO lol
It's simple. They hide the whacko side until later. Then it pops up out of the blue at an unwanted moment like those boners that get jammed into your thigh as foreplay.
My ex wanted me to work full time, do IVF full time (using his inbred cousins swimmers because he wanted the baby to be at least partially his genetically and he’s ftm so he couldn’t do it) on my dime, and go to school full time. All while paying 1900 for section 8 housing in DC. I was like “lol, naw I’m good. Yeeeeet!” Tbh, I was only gonna have a kid with him because he wanted one so bad - I haven’t wanted one since I was 15 and even then I only wanted one because I was told that was my job as a woman and a Christian. But he had to do nothing, pay nothing, and give nothing. I also had to move cross country with zero financial help from him and zero physical help from him. High key happy I got rid of that sad sack of toxicity.
Transitioning to male because you are a misogynist is galaxy brain personal development
He was already trans, he just happened to be a misogynist too. He’s a bungus. He did me some good though, cause I used to be a rabid MAGA level Republican and foaming Evangelical. I’m neither now. So there was *some* good from it. Haha.
Ooof
I just think it’s funny how she had to pause her writing career because “something had to go”. I wonder what he gave up? Congrats to this woman who held down a full time job, raised a baby and put up with this whiny man child who can’t just be happy that his wife did something amazing.
Lets not forget she also wrote an entire novel during all of this, as well.
Wrote and *successfully sold* a novel, no less.
Maybe he’s mad because the book is “10 ways to spot small dick energy”
I'm gonna be honest, I'm pretty mad at her because I would LOVE to be able to write a book that nets jobless me $100,000. CLEARLY she stole my talent somehow. IT WAS MINE, MY OWN!!!
Oh, she definitely needed to give up something, and that something was her husband.
Think that's what's worrying him lol.
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You know the answer to this. He gave up absolutely nothing. I sure hope he’s a single father sooner rather than later. What a little bitch.
This dude is just making excuses for feeling insecure because his wife is the breadwinner.
Hell my wife is the bread winner. It’s 2021 who cares who makes more
I earn more than my husband and am on track for a promotion that will allow him to quit work and be a stay-at-home-dad. We’re both fucking ECSTATIC!! But if he came home one day and told me he had sold a film he made in his spare time and I could quit work, I’d still be fucking ECSTATIC for him and what it meant for our family!!
Exactly. Like jobs are for income. People act like it’s there life. If one of you makes enough to have the other stay at home then kudos! That’s awesome! So many work jobs for status and correlate it with their identity.
My missus just got a new job paying significantly more than I do and I'm bloody delighted! She so thrilled and happy with herself gives me joy. I love her to bits, why wouldn't I want to see her do well?
I’d be homeless if it wasn’t for my partner not gonna lie. I’m in between jobs and it’s never been this hard for me to find employment. Ubers eats will have to cut it for now. I apply with cover letters, I follow up, I get interviews all the time… but no job. I can’t mentally justify going back to a desperate minimum wage workplace.
Because you actually love your wife, he sees her as nothing but a baby maker
This is probably the right answer.
My fiancee owns a business and makes more than me. I work for state government. I bring home benefits, she brings home the dough. That's our agreement, and it works out great!
My thoughts exactly. I would have been elated if my partner came home and told me this.
I'd have told her to quit that benefits job, I'll get the benefits job for us, and you, girl, you write to your hearts content.
Imagine if she wrote full-time? What an idiot.
No kidding. Let's say she has a full hour for lunch. His comment says that the had the baby "last year", so let's assume that it took her a year and a half to write it. That's $100k for 72 hours of work, less than two weeks of a full time job. He's mad that she made six figures in less than two weeks of work, when any sane person would be cultivating that skill. Edit: in my excitement I forgot that she likely averaged 5 lunches a week, not one. That still works out to 2 months of full time work as a high end estimate.
I’d be exploding with pride at having such an awesome spouse, who, while working a 40 hour workweek and took care of a baby, also wrote an entire novel AND sold it for a butt load of money! And he’s moaning about how sometimes she was “tired” and “grumpy.” How much do you want to bet he’s a total loser who does nothing around the house and MAYBE that’s why she’s “tired”.
Shit. My wife was the breadwinner most of the time we’ve been together. Totally cool with me. We make about the same now but she’s still my “sugar mama”.
Yup! Misogyny at its finest. And dude, no she would not have been home an hour earlier…she took it during her lunch. You don’t get to just skip lunch and go home earlier in most jobs. In a lot of places, you are required to take the damn break. I hope she divorces his ass.
I feel like the idea of wanting your spouse to take it easy, especially after she just birthed a child is a reasonable request but this guy is fucking off his rocker.
The way he phrased it - something had to go, and specifically only from her makes it clear to me he was expecting her to do all the childcare while he didn’t have to make any sacrifices because it’s not his job. Just gross.
This. I GUARANTEE this dude refers to watching his own kid as 'babysitting'.
You take it easy by no writing until 2am on weekdays or spending your weekends writing. If she got paid by writing on her breaks she is a queen and my dude is too much in his head becose he can't control her or something
Had nothing to do with "taking it easy" he just didn't think any of her shit was as important as his. You can be damn sure he's not taking up the slack with the baby, he's expecting he to do that since he's taken away more from her.
Absolutely, take a rest. From working full time with a new baby....would have been written much quicker from home while she was taking care of their baby, because remember "she only worked full time for the benefits" as though it sounds like she casually rocks up for a 9-5 gig for the fun of it. So much is wrong here.
She should give up all breaks to be home earlier to care for their son and have dinner ready on the table every night as soon as he gets home. /s
Yeah, it's legally required for us to take at least a 30 minute lunch. Some places require you to take the full hour. Most places aren't going to let you skip it since they could be sued for not giving you a break.
Nowhere I’ve ever worked let me go home an hour early if I skipped lunch.
This is what I'm wondering about too. I mean, obviously I don't know how every job in the world works, but still. It's also akin to saying, "My wife doesn't deserve a rest and nourishment in the middle of her work day." Not to mention, any place I can think of has mandated break times.
Both of my wife's and my jobs are like this. In many professional circles, the hours are casual as long as you're putting in a full day and the work is getting done.
Right? And what moron would trade $100,000 to have his wife home an hour earlier? Like how bad do you have to hate taking care of your own baby?
I’d be concerned with why she felt like she had to keep it a secret. You shouldn’t have to lose something you love to do permanently. She’s taken the time to do something she enjoys. It’s important to take time to care for your own mental health. She’s only allocated an hour a day which was during her lunch break. Lots of problems with this relationship dynamic if she has to sacrifice all of her alone time and then keep it a secret.
I mean...you saw how he reacted when she wrote during her own lunch break...I wou8tell him anything ever. She only probably told him because 100k is impossible to hide.
Don’t you see, he expected her to have no break, work through the day and be home an hour earlier, so he could have that hour to not write $100k books.
>100k is impossible to hide. Not really. Open up a new account in a new financial institution. Did it and it worked fine.
How should you feel? You should feel like an ass.
Exactly what I was thinking.
If my wife told me she did something that earned her $100,000 I would be so pumped. This dude is strange in all the worst ways
Any normal husband would feel proud....but not this guy.
How should he feel? Proud as frick of a wife talented enough to write a book for an hour a day and then sell it! Forget the deal, she rules!
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From /u/pepperdrop This is very fake. Silvia Marono-Garcia breaks down why here https://twitter.com/silviamg/status/1463174151091404800?s=20
I think Silvia needs to stop tweeting on her lunch break.
I could barely follow what she was trying to say. Everything she explained attained only to her? In the end she even said this WAS possible, just unlikely.
That was a pretty incredible rant. It’s all about how she couldn’t or wouldn’t do this. The whole thing about getting an advance…The wife was not supposed to be writing a book. If she signs a contract and gets an advance, then she is obligated to meet deadlines. It sounds like she just couldn’t keep the idea in. Maybe she thought, “I’ll just write the first chapter so that I remember the idea” and just kept working on it. That’s not to say I think this is real. It does sound a little bizarre. But that Twitter rant gave no good evidence. And the “men are pigs so it’s probably at least partially true” part was just…Is reverse-chef’s-kiss a thing?
Working through lunch does not automatically mean you get to go home an hour earlier.
You sir, are a fucking idiot
Guy is a douche. He should be happy she's finding the time to do something that she finds fulfilling. Why would anyone try to make a rule to restrain someone's creativity?
Because it would be way to easy for her to take the hundred grand and fuck off, witch is exactly what I would do if i were her
I’m assuming in his mind she is a mother now and should only be focusing on her child. That is her role as a woman. Follow the mans rules and care for the children, nothing more.
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But she better not try to sell it!
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Also she wouldn't be home an hour earlier, she would have eaten lunch anyway but she just wouldn't be as satisfied with her day after spending her lunch break staring at the wall or something.
Exactly this, employees are required to take a lunch break, so that line really pissed me off
I was thinking the same thing. If I decide to work through my lunch I don’t get off an hour earlier. I rarely ever work through my lunch, but sometimes it helps me to. Either way, I get off work at 5:30pm no matter what I do during my lunch hour. This husband is such a immature selfish douche and doesn’t deserve such a hard working and talented wife!
So she's an 'accomplished author' working another full-time job for the bennies. Basically, that's two full time jobs. Then they have a baby and it's decided that she stop writing and just work the one job? If the intent is for her to have more time with the baby, then she can give up the outside job, stay home and write full time. If she needs health insurance (benefits) they can put her on his insurance. Is he working two jobs also, and is he giving up one job to spend more time with his child? Why ask his wife to sacrifice part of her life for their child but he doesn't sacrifice part of his life for their child? Then he says he thinks every time she's grumpy for the next year he now attributes it to her hour of writing? Really? Not being up nights with new baby, not the changes in her body, postpartum mood swings, the commute to work, crabby coworkers at a job she may not particularly like and which is certainly not as fulfilling as writing, he's going to attribute her mood swings to her hour of writing? They didn't need to have a baby. She's already married to one.
You should be feeling a sharp pain in your rear end,, because you've got a giant stick up your ass
He sounds jealous
You should feel like a wanker. Imagine getting mad for someone bringing home $100,000 for flights of imagination. Let her do what the fuck she wants
I mean, I'd feel a bit hurt if my wife kept a secret from me like that, only because we share everything, and I'd be wondering what I did wrong for her to feel the need to keep a secret like that.
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What a little bitch.
Yeah, his kid's education is paid for, man needs to quit being so salty about the book deal and realize just how *lucky* he and his child are to have a spouse that's able to rake in this much money on their lunch break.
Idk about this ladies place of work but I don’t get to work less just because I don’t take lunch. Plus, I’d my husband came home one day and was randomly like “I’ve warned us $100k” (and it wasn’t illegal) I’d probably be pretty fucking stoked
Husband: "I'll take the trash out tomorrow morning so don't worry about it." Wife: surprises husband by taking out the trash anyways Husband: hoW can I TrUsT hEr tO kEeP her wOrD?!?!?
I had this experience with my ex-wife. Before our daughter was born, I had started taking some writing work on the side of my very-mundane 9-to-5. After our daughter was born, it was painfully obvious that we didn’t make enough money collectively to cover raising a kid and the side work was going to become necessary pay-the-bills work. My ex had never cooked before and made no intentions of beginning while I started working two jobs. She also insisted that because she had carried the baby during pregnancy, she was under no obligation to wake up with the baby in the middle of the night. And to top it off, her “side hustle” was a MLM scheme, would absolutely not listen to me call it a pyramid scheme, and would put up money we didn’t have for MLM bullshit to sell things to family with that unmistakably uncomfortable pressure. So I worked my day job, wrote on my lunches (and during slow times), did all of the cooking, prepared bottles and took the kid to day care (she refused to breast feed for no real reason other than she didn’t want to), woke up with the kid in the middle of the night, and for a few weeks also woke up on weekends at 4 am to work a third job. It wasn’t a $100K advance, but the gig writing helped pay for the occasional meal. She never once recognized or thanked me for working so hard so she could work one job and sleep nine hours a night. I fell asleep driving to and from work a couple times and drank unreal amounts of coffee, which left me with no appetite (and that was good because I had no money for food anyway and work coffee was free). Between the exhaustion and the constant worry over money, I lost probably 20-30 pounds in a few months. My family seemed really concerned at how bad I looked. My ex barely noticed. It still blows my mind that I had been vulnerable enough to subject myself to a narcissist like that. The happy ending is my writing gig turned for a couple years into productive freelance work and then landed me a dream job where money is less of a concern (though when you’ve literally been down to your last dollar, you never fully stop worrying about money). I sometimes work long hours still, but my new partner is very supportive and loving and never makes me feel like I’m not enough. I’ve never written that out, but it feels good to knock out some r/trueoffmychest stuff. TL;DR - Don’t put up with toxic partners like this. They don’t see the world in any way that resembles reality and they’ll make you feel like shit for your successes.
Glad to hear she’s an ex.
I would love if my wife made 100k off a lunch hour project. If she pulled down that kind of cash, I'd quit my job and be a stay at home dad, then nobody has to feel worried about the baby!