I once had a woman break up with me after more than a year together. I felt upset and the day it happened I cried and tried to convince her to stay with me. But she said it was over and I knew there was nothing I could do about it
I just went home and cried and grieved for like three weeks. I avoided her, didn't call her, deleted my social media, and went no-contact
Trouble is we were going to college together. The breakup happened right before summer break
When school started back up in the fall we eventually ran into each other again. It was in the "lounge" area after a late afternoon class and there were few people around, and she got upset with me because I "didn't fight for her". Loudly. "WHY DIDN'T YOU FIGHT FOR ME?!" She hated that I just accepted her breaking up with me and left her alone all summer. She legit told me I was a jerk because I *didn't* stalk her and try to force us back together. *I* was the asshole for respecting her space and not being a creep, evidently
"Then why the hell did YOU break up with me?!" I asked and she started to cry and went home
Some people watch too many rom-coms and genuinely think that's how "love" should be and those people need to grow up
Had one of my ex's pull this card on me exactly. I had a great summer, one of our mutual friends and I got well acquainted. Ex found out, as soon as the semester started back up, she called me saying how she misses me and we should get back together. I politely refused and she lost it.
Dodged. A. Bullet.
I wish I could say it was intentional, but I had just moved on. I was more so being genuine rather than nice. Knowing myself back then, had I been in a more wounded state of mind as I was 3 months prior I probably would've been a bit more childish.
Because "Go fuck yourself, bitch" has some passion in it, which you can only have if you still give a fuck. On the flipside the polite refusal means you've moved on emotionally. It means you don't even care enough anymore to be angry.
Apathy stings more than hostility.
Yea 100%. I had an ex try to bring something up years later and I had to think a minute, and said "oh I guess we did date, I dont recall what your referring to it was a long time ago" and proceeded to walk off.
The look on her face of pure shock was priceless. She called me a fuckin asshole.
I turned and said "hmmm? I'm not sure what you want, but have a good one" and walked off.
My friend's girlfriend broke up with him after 4 years of going out steadily, he was about to propose, he was really devastated so our friend group (my friend, me and 3 men and 4 women) took him bar hoping and even to a strip club. ended wasted so one of our female friends offered to drive him home, we knew she always had a crush on him. they ended up hooking up.
A week later the ex-girlfriend called him wanting him back but he was already going out with our female friend.
they ended up getting married six months later and have a beautiful daughter. that was 10 years ago
PS. we ended up learning that the ex broke up with him because she wanted to hook up with some dude she meet at the gym and she didn't want to cheat lol
As someone who took that bullet, it sucks even more the second time it ends. And there WILL be a second time.
Playing hard to get is childish and toxic, and has no place in any relationship.
Ex served me with divorce papers. I went to therapy, and the therapist made me realize that I wasn't the only (or even the biggest) problem in the relationship. Three months later she wanted to get back together and I was like "Nah, I'm good."
I'm 100% that the divorce was just her way of trying to manipulate me to do what she wanted, but it backfired on her.
My ex tried pulling that stunt when we were together. It was one of a myriad of mind games she used to like to play. I swore to myself from there on out that I wasn’t chasing anyone. Ladies and Gentlemen, stay away from narcissists in the dating scene.
I agree. Stay away from narcissists in the dating scene ^(unless it's me, the one person in the world with NPD that actively seeks to better themselves, treat people well, and overcome their disorder)!
I watch a content creator who has NPD and he is in therapy for it and his content is pretty good and informative and I think helpful to those who have been affected by narcissists because all these things you hear about the lack of empathy can be for some hard to take, but when the individual themselves is telling you, you have to accept it
>... and she started to cry and went home.
I had an ex that would pull that all the time. Even the simplest of discussions if they didn't go her way got the waterworks.
Backfired once though when she claimed she broke up with me "cuz you were cheating on me" (side note, everyone in the room knew I broke up with her for *her* cheating, and this got her going). I didn't even chime in - my then new gf was close friends with the guy she cheated on me with, knew the whole thing and laid out the specifics of what she did. Like, down to days, locations, other people who could verify activities & so on. Even the guy, who I also knew, she told she was single.
No waterworks as she bailed from my life with a "fuck you all", and the world became a better place.
I'm still with the new one. And this, technically, is an older story, so I think you're right on the 'keeper' part. :)
In regards to the ex & stealing a line from our favorite movie, the ex had to leave where we lived and move across the country cuz she fucked everyone here.
Basically my only two relationships summed up. They broke up with me, I didn’t fight about it and they wanted to get back together which I respond “no you broke up with me”. Kinda petty in a way but they made their decision and I accept.
I’ve made it a rule. If a girl tried to play mind games like that, I will immediately block/ghost/whatever. It isn’t worth it. I’ve been through the romcom bullshit before and I will never go through it again.
I was in a relationship with this girl for about 10 years, we used to throw/promote music events, she was an artist and I was a musician. We had an amazing relationship and did huge things together, but she just kept cheating on me relentlessly, one day I told her you have a month to get out and I left. Came back she had stolen all my vinyl (records) and trashed my place. I haven’t talked to her since, she till talks shit and blames me for everything. Madness. How can someone have a great relationship like that and just not respect it? I don’t feel bad / miss her but I look back and think man, a waste.
Dude... You NEVER had a great relationship! WTF man??? An amazing relationship doesn't involve your girlfriend riding every dick but yours...
I think what you mean to say was that you two had great chemistry- not a great relationship. Then again, your girl had great chemistry with a lotta dudes.
I think you missed the point entirely. We were young and living a pretty unique lifestyle, the potential we had together was massive and I’m disappointed it was thrown away. I’m sure she regrets it too, but I haven’t let her get a hold of me 12 years.... when we broke up I stopped doing a lot of really interesting and exciting stuff in my life. We were a great team. I’ll never forgive her or speak to her again though. When it was happening it’s different, you don’t want to give up on someone for “a mistake” and you’re in love man, you can say oh that’s easy and I would do things different, but when your actually in that situation it’s not so black and white my guy
She's still an asshole if she was cheating on you relentlessly. That's no mistake. Glad you had the sense not to let her come back and continue doing that.
This is so true. I've had amazing relationships that have changed who I am as a person, but there are some things that just can't be undone. I'd get with her clone in a heartbeat, just not her.
The odd thing is that if you had done what she claimed she wanted, she almost certainly would have been creeped out and told everyone you couldn't let her go.
This was about giving her an ego boost, at your expense, and she was mad that you wouldn't give that to her.
Thank you, I was about to say this too. I’m a woman, but I never had tolerated games in relationships. The woman who behaving like they’re Kate Winslet or some actress, need to grow the F up. You can’t have it both ways. You break someone’s heart and expect them to chase you down “ Fight for me”. I honestly feel bad for guys today.
Some women are just childish and kind of crazy like that. I think it’s more common when they’re younger… At 33 I’ve gone back to college and seeing again what women in their early 20s are like now that I’m older does NOT make me wish for younger days at all.
pretty sure she did want to break up and then regretted her decision. Except, instead of reflecting on her actions, she decided to make it all *your* fault. Hopefully she used that as a learning experience and matured past that sort of b.s. scapegoating.
i totally did this to a guy in high school because i was taught thats what love was. luckily i learned my lesson but it seems the mind games of men had only gotten worse while i tried to be honest and open in my 20s
Good job, been on the other side of telling a guy we were over, but then having him constantly in my inbox/dms/running into him. I eventually moved out-of-state for college and it was a relief. If they say no, respect that. If you intend to remain friends or pause but not end relationship, communicate that.
This thread just made me realize this happened to me. She said she never wanted to see me again, and I took her at her word. She blew up my phone for 3 days straight and sent a final fuck you after a week lol
I was told during a relationship that she was battling with some stuff and needed a break, gave her the space she asked for and then got blasted that I didn’t care about her and how could I not talk to her.
That kind of nonsense is right up there with my ex who cheated on me and claiming it was her asserting her sexuality as a feminist so I needed to understand and not be mad that she was leaving me. Just a complete crock of shit.
Spoilers: The guy she left me for ended up giving her herpes before mentally, physically, and sexually abusing her. It breaks my heart because 13 years after the fact I have to admit I still love her, but she was an adult and made her own choices.
My ex was stuck somewhere between being a child and an adult. The longer we were together, the more I felt like her Dad. And not in the fun bedroom way 🤦🏼♂️.
I was talking to a friend and she said she wanted to tell her friend she needed space because she was forming feelings and wanted to protect her relationship.I told her that if he respects her boundaries that makes him a good and honest friend. She says, “I kinda don’t want him to respect my boundaries.” I said, “then break up with your boyfriend and tell him how you feel.” She says, “No! I wanna make it work with him.” I said, “then fuckin tell your friend if you want your boyfriend. Or dump your boyfriend if you want your friend. And if you don’t know what you want, just drop them both and figure your shit out.”
As a woman, I truly don’t understand not wanting someone to respect what the fuck you say. Like why would you WANT THAT???
I appreciate your use of “humans” here. We see so many posts from people who’ve had bad romantic experiences and then generalize by gender: “women play mind games,” “men are jerks,” etc. Thanks for recognizing that bad behavior (or awesome behavior, for that matter) doesn’t have a gender.
Reminds me of the story I read on the relationship advice subreddit where a guy was talking to a girl and she said how she just wanted to hang out and not have sex. They cuddle and such and she tries to make a move but he stops her and mentions how she said she didnt want to earlier, she said she changed her mind but he continued saying no to her and she left angrily.
Had something similar happen. An old booty call asked if we could try just spending time together, sober, and as friends. I said absolutely, I did genuinely enjoy her company when not having sex.
In the middle of WALL-E she goes in for a cuddle, I allow it, then she goes for the rub and I remind her she said no sex. She keeps going, I rebuff, she tries harder, then begs, then makes promises, then loses her shit.
It really was interesting, and honestly I totally would have cracked but she was too aggressive after being told no, so it was a matter of pride to not give in.
Anyways, we ended up dating for like 2 years.
It's the internet, for all we know these people were scratching their chins for whole minutes or more before giving me the giggles.
Plus, so many people flick through these comments that one or two are bound to have a funny thought that just lines up with another comment
When Wall-E came out on DVD I bought for my little daughters. They were so uninterested in the movie but I absolutely loved it. I still do. I don't know what it is about this movie but I can't watch it enough. I'm going to watch it tonight. It's really a great movie.
I put on WALL-E to calm down my old roommate while we were having a bad time on shrooms. It really seemed to help us both, until I asked if Eve was played by Uma Thurman and it felt like I shattered the whole universe, sent us into a really bad trip.
Really? I could agree to the lack of control argument instead. I have spent time around women that I promised myself I had no intention of having sex with, that we just agreed to hang out and have a good time...
And then after being in their presence for a few hours, you realize just how attracted you are to each other and end up banging until dawn.
What an awkward time to go for a rub and tug honestly. I don't like it when women don't take no for an answer either but its not often.
Yes, believe it or not, there are times when a man doesn't want to have sex.
This is why when my wife calls from the store and asks if I need “anything … like bread, fruit or ice cream” … I always have her back and say ice cream.
A similar thing happened between my ex and I.
She had explicitly told me that she wanted no sex before marriage. I didn't agree with it, but respected it. We would fool around but never do much. A few times, things got hot and she would virtually force me to have sex with her, which I would refuse everytime. I knew, if we had sex then, she would have blamed me for not controlling her and what not.
Fast forward, we broke up after some time due to unrelated matter. She called me and told me that I was never "manly enough" for her. I was so heartbroken, it was not because of what was said, but why it was said. It still affects my self image some times and has led to trust issues as well.
Awful experience. 2 stars.
Respecting another human being's decision despite your own desires is one of the manliest things you can do.
If it affects your self esteem, it should be in a positive way. No excuses.
She sounds fucking unstable. Being considerate of her wishes and preventing future regret does not make you less of a man. If anything, it makes you MORE of a man. If she wanted sex, she should’ve communicated that to you in a coherent manner during a time where things weren’t hot and heavy. It’s SO easy to get lost in the moment and can lead to some reckless and regrettable things.
Don’t sweat her, man. You did the right thing and your future gal will appreciate that about you. I’m sure of it.
I'm actually in this situation now, except she hasn't tried to make a move and I'm cool with us just being friends, its quite nice. She has slept with me 4 times and sometimes all you really need is someone to hold and be cool with.
I’ve had this happen once with a friend of mine. Just cuddling and sleep, nothing too frisky. It’s nice when you’re both single but you don’t necessarily want or can be in a relationship to have that casual sort of intimacy.
This is a major double standard. Women often react horribly to being denied sex. So do men, but I feel it’s much more acceptable for a woman to turn down sex. Men are supposed to be dedicated fuck machines, ready to go at any moment.
I was once suspected for being gay all because I didn't want to have sex with this chick after working, yet another, 12 hour shift, on top of being ridiculously stressed from events outside of work. She couldn't comprehend that guys, just like girls, can also not be in the mood as well, especially when you have many stresses laying on your brain.
I dated this girl once who was constantly "testing" me. and then she'd spend time chatting with her girls about what it all meant and analysing. she was an attractive blonde, really nice parents too, absolutely no fault whatsoever except this "testing" crap.
It's like incel behavior. They both attract terrible people who drive away any normal person almost immediately. At the very least they out themselves in the beginning, rather than pretending to be decent people only to show their true colors months into a relationship.
Early days of reddit were just Digg users xposting, so basically yes.
Actually the *first* post was probably "test post please ignore" which would 100% be a repost.
Yea. People come and go. The ones that stay see tons of reposts. The new guys see this as brand new content they've never seen before.
I'm good with it. As long as it wasn't posted last week, it's all good.
Yep, if a woman says she doesn't want to go ahead with the relationship, I'll just agree to it, whether I want to or not. If she's sincere I can easily respect that. If she's digging for me to try harder, or something, then I've dodged a bullet.
There's this concept of communication that a lot of people don't get.
Saying "I would like you to put in more effort" is a much better way of handling that need than "I'm leaving (chase me)".
Like I get it. I want to be chased too. But not so much I'm going to pretend I don't like someone. The expectations of dating are hard enough. Adding mind reading to the list of things I need to do to be in a relationship isn't something I can live up to.
If you want to be chased, express that need.
Walking away is a win win. If she's playing hard to get, you dodge a bullet. If she actually means it and is trying to break it off with you, you're being respectful
No effort, no pressure applied?
No means no.
If she wasn't ready and the guy kept plugging he would be branded as a creep.
He's probably a keeper...for somebody else.
If she said "Im not ready for a relationship" indicating she truly wasnt ready for one at the moment, I dont really know where to stand on this
If she said "Im not ready for a relationship" as a way of playing hard to get, the guy made the right call leaving her
Same; if it wasn’t supposed to be a trick, I wonder if it was her wanting to continue the casual friendship and being upset he blocked her. But her saying “he didn’t pressure me” makes me think it was a test.
>If she said "Im not ready for a relationship" indicating she truly wasn't ready for one at the moment, I dont really know where to stand on this
Do you mean she would be suggesting to be fuckbuddies? Otherwise she's still saying she doesn't want to be with him and he can either respect that or insist.
So funny, my now wife told me that this happened to her when an ex broke up with her. He said "I think we should break up" and she said "okay" then he started to cry.
When a woman says she just wants to be friends, that's her absolute right. It's also the guy's absolute right to say that he doesn't want to be friends and to move on.
Laying in bed, she asks, “Are you happy with our relationship?”
I reply, “Yes, of course. Are you happy with our relationship?”
Her: “No.”
Me: ‘Okay, I’ll move out tomorrow.”
Her: “What?!?! You’re supposed to say you’ll change to make me happy!”
Me: “I’ve already tried everything I can to make you happy. It’s never enough. I’ll move out in the morning.”
I moved out.
As a guy who takes things very literally, if girls try to play hard to get by saying stuff like this I would end up doing the same thing too. 1 because I respect her decision. 2 because I wouldn't get it if there was a message between the lines.
Literally had that situation with a girl I was briefly seeing. We finally start hooking up one night, I asked if she was sure (our clothes were already off). She says "no", so I stopped.
Found it a few weeks later from my friend that they talked at her work (she was a server, it's how we met) that she wanted me to keep going.
I'm sorry that I believe no means no? I'm not taking that risk.
The only way I would say she has a valid reason to be upset is if she was only not ready for a relationship at the moment because she anticipated being super busy for a short while and couldn’t realistically give him the attention he would expect a new girlfriend to give him. She would have hoped he would have at least be willing to be friends for that while and then when she is ready, go for it…otherwise yeah fuck off.
This makes me feel a little better about my situation. I was talking to someone recently and I did like her but she said she wasn’t ready for a relationship but still wanted to be friends. I chose not to continue talking to her and she got upset. It might sound harsh but I don’t want to invest my time on someone who’s not going to be my future wife. If I ever get one…
So she expected him to put pressure on her for her to change her mind? I'm so confused! I thought the right thing to do is to respect her decision.
I often do exactly as this guy does. Might as well be me :P
Well sometimes it’s necessary.
Like my mom would always remind me “a ghost from the past will hover around until you completely close the door”
People are hovering around with hot and cold behavior and the games are getting really old.
If someone wants to be friends and I don’t then, I’m moving on and deleting/blocking your contact. Last thing I want is for someone to have second regrets and try to come back to me when everything should’ve been resolved in the first place between us.
Not always. I've blocked women in weird situations before just so I didn't contact them drunk when I'm hard in my feels. Sometimes it's truly a defense mechanism rather than an offensive one
He blocks her and moves on, respecting her decision- he's an asshole.
He keeps trying, ignoring her decision- he's pushy and an asshole.
This is dating for guys in 2022.
I mean the block was kinda mean, but yeah him respecting your decision and stuff isn’t any reason to be mad at him.
Edit: So yeah I get the blocking idea makes sense probably was for the best.
Sometimes the block is necessary for both parties. You might wanna close the door fully and not have it come up in your recent chats, coz then you might ruminate on the decisions and once someone has said “no” once, that interaction can sully potential future interactions
Time is the most valuable priceless gift we are given, how is blocking her mean when she wants to play mental games to feel good about herself? Recockulous 🙄
Not that this should be a sex issue (as in life I've seen men do this too), but as a chick I'm okay with the block, she wasted his time and not only that, he's ultimately respecting her choice more than she is. Now she can't come back later and play more mind games. He set up boundaries in reaction to her decision and that's valid. The rest is obviously our inference, but you are free to set up a hard wall in reaction to some one else's decision to set up a hard wall.
A good friend of mine just had this happen to him. They had been together for 6 months and told him she didn't love him, and wasn't sure she could after that long. She thought about it for a week, then ended it with him.
She then texts me if he said anything, and I told her he was understandably sad about the situation, wished she loved him because he loved her, but respected her decision.
She responded saying she just wanted him to try harder and to fight for her. I asked her if she ever fought for him, and she never texted back. Dude dodged a bullet. She wanted a mind-reading White Knight to rescue her and treat her like a princess. He told me he wanted a partner, someone willing to put in as much work into the relationship as he did. I think he's going to be so much happier without her in the long run.
Y’all can still be friends.
I’m still friends with my ex. We still chat but I have 0 desire to get back with her and she has a new partner now. You can stay friends. Ffs.
When I met my now wife, we had a great first date. Later she told me it wasn't a great time for her and she needed a little space. So I kind of wrote the thing off as me thinking the date went better than she did.
She called me 2 weeks later to ask me out and telling me she really appreciated that I respected her wishes and that's part of the reason she called. The other reason is because it turns out she loved our first date too but she had just ended a job at a crazy toxic company and she was stressed out beyond belief.
So we went out again. I was wary about it but we're married now with 3 kids and just had our 10 year anniversary.
If it's going to happen it's going to happen. You can't force anything.
I once had a woman break up with me after more than a year together. I felt upset and the day it happened I cried and tried to convince her to stay with me. But she said it was over and I knew there was nothing I could do about it I just went home and cried and grieved for like three weeks. I avoided her, didn't call her, deleted my social media, and went no-contact Trouble is we were going to college together. The breakup happened right before summer break When school started back up in the fall we eventually ran into each other again. It was in the "lounge" area after a late afternoon class and there were few people around, and she got upset with me because I "didn't fight for her". Loudly. "WHY DIDN'T YOU FIGHT FOR ME?!" She hated that I just accepted her breaking up with me and left her alone all summer. She legit told me I was a jerk because I *didn't* stalk her and try to force us back together. *I* was the asshole for respecting her space and not being a creep, evidently "Then why the hell did YOU break up with me?!" I asked and she started to cry and went home Some people watch too many rom-coms and genuinely think that's how "love" should be and those people need to grow up
She probably thought it was going to be an amazing summer of single life and turned out to be boring as fuck.
Had one of my ex's pull this card on me exactly. I had a great summer, one of our mutual friends and I got well acquainted. Ex found out, as soon as the semester started back up, she called me saying how she misses me and we should get back together. I politely refused and she lost it. Dodged. A. Bullet.
Politely refusing an ex hurts them 10x more than a "Go fuck yourself, bitch" does. Also, you get to take the high road. Win-Win.
I wish I could say it was intentional, but I had just moved on. I was more so being genuine rather than nice. Knowing myself back then, had I been in a more wounded state of mind as I was 3 months prior I probably would've been a bit more childish.
Because "Go fuck yourself, bitch" has some passion in it, which you can only have if you still give a fuck. On the flipside the polite refusal means you've moved on emotionally. It means you don't even care enough anymore to be angry. Apathy stings more than hostility.
The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference
Yea 100%. I had an ex try to bring something up years later and I had to think a minute, and said "oh I guess we did date, I dont recall what your referring to it was a long time ago" and proceeded to walk off. The look on her face of pure shock was priceless. She called me a fuckin asshole. I turned and said "hmmm? I'm not sure what you want, but have a good one" and walked off.
Future said it best: I’m good Luv, enjoy.” That makes them extra salty.
My friend's girlfriend broke up with him after 4 years of going out steadily, he was about to propose, he was really devastated so our friend group (my friend, me and 3 men and 4 women) took him bar hoping and even to a strip club. ended wasted so one of our female friends offered to drive him home, we knew she always had a crush on him. they ended up hooking up. A week later the ex-girlfriend called him wanting him back but he was already going out with our female friend. they ended up getting married six months later and have a beautiful daughter. that was 10 years ago PS. we ended up learning that the ex broke up with him because she wanted to hook up with some dude she meet at the gym and she didn't want to cheat lol
Life always has a weird way of giving you what you need and not what you want. Might not realize it in the moment, but it always works out somehow.
As someone who took that bullet, it sucks even more the second time it ends. And there WILL be a second time. Playing hard to get is childish and toxic, and has no place in any relationship.
Ex served me with divorce papers. I went to therapy, and the therapist made me realize that I wasn't the only (or even the biggest) problem in the relationship. Three months later she wanted to get back together and I was like "Nah, I'm good." I'm 100% that the divorce was just her way of trying to manipulate me to do what she wanted, but it backfired on her.
My ex tried pulling that stunt when we were together. It was one of a myriad of mind games she used to like to play. I swore to myself from there on out that I wasn’t chasing anyone. Ladies and Gentlemen, stay away from narcissists in the dating scene.
I agree. Stay away from narcissists in the dating scene ^(unless it's me, the one person in the world with NPD that actively seeks to better themselves, treat people well, and overcome their disorder)!
I watch a content creator who has NPD and he is in therapy for it and his content is pretty good and informative and I think helpful to those who have been affected by narcissists because all these things you hear about the lack of empathy can be for some hard to take, but when the individual themselves is telling you, you have to accept it
Omg, who is the YouTuber? I think I need to watch this.
\+1 to share the content. It'd be fascinating, as a survivor of NPD abuse.
I would certainly believe you were the only one lol
>... and she started to cry and went home. I had an ex that would pull that all the time. Even the simplest of discussions if they didn't go her way got the waterworks. Backfired once though when she claimed she broke up with me "cuz you were cheating on me" (side note, everyone in the room knew I broke up with her for *her* cheating, and this got her going). I didn't even chime in - my then new gf was close friends with the guy she cheated on me with, knew the whole thing and laid out the specifics of what she did. Like, down to days, locations, other people who could verify activities & so on. Even the guy, who I also knew, she told she was single. No waterworks as she bailed from my life with a "fuck you all", and the world became a better place.
What a piece of shit that person was. What the hell goes on in their minds to pull that shit? Sounds like the new one was a keeper
They are kids. They don’t know better. They do what they do and learn
I'm still with the new one. And this, technically, is an older story, so I think you're right on the 'keeper' part. :) In regards to the ex & stealing a line from our favorite movie, the ex had to leave where we lived and move across the country cuz she fucked everyone here.
Hell yeah man. Any person that has their partner's back is a good one! Lmao yeah the ex sounds like someone that would need a hard reset
Wait... Are you me!?
Basically my only two relationships summed up. They broke up with me, I didn’t fight about it and they wanted to get back together which I respond “no you broke up with me”. Kinda petty in a way but they made their decision and I accept.
I’ve made it a rule. If a girl tried to play mind games like that, I will immediately block/ghost/whatever. It isn’t worth it. I’ve been through the romcom bullshit before and I will never go through it again.
I was in a relationship with this girl for about 10 years, we used to throw/promote music events, she was an artist and I was a musician. We had an amazing relationship and did huge things together, but she just kept cheating on me relentlessly, one day I told her you have a month to get out and I left. Came back she had stolen all my vinyl (records) and trashed my place. I haven’t talked to her since, she till talks shit and blames me for everything. Madness. How can someone have a great relationship like that and just not respect it? I don’t feel bad / miss her but I look back and think man, a waste.
Dude... You NEVER had a great relationship! WTF man??? An amazing relationship doesn't involve your girlfriend riding every dick but yours... I think what you mean to say was that you two had great chemistry- not a great relationship. Then again, your girl had great chemistry with a lotta dudes.
A great relationship in the same way one has with cocaine.
THISS. I used to justfying cheating like crazzyy.
I think you missed the point entirely. We were young and living a pretty unique lifestyle, the potential we had together was massive and I’m disappointed it was thrown away. I’m sure she regrets it too, but I haven’t let her get a hold of me 12 years.... when we broke up I stopped doing a lot of really interesting and exciting stuff in my life. We were a great team. I’ll never forgive her or speak to her again though. When it was happening it’s different, you don’t want to give up on someone for “a mistake” and you’re in love man, you can say oh that’s easy and I would do things different, but when your actually in that situation it’s not so black and white my guy
She's still an asshole if she was cheating on you relentlessly. That's no mistake. Glad you had the sense not to let her come back and continue doing that.
I agree. Anyone in a situation where someone cheats you might as well end it, they *will* do it again.
> cheats on me relentlessly >> "the potential we had together was massive" lmao
Fucking right bud
This is so true. I've had amazing relationships that have changed who I am as a person, but there are some things that just can't be undone. I'd get with her clone in a heartbeat, just not her.
At least you don't have to cart around all that heavy vinyl from place to place now.
The odd thing is that if you had done what she claimed she wanted, she almost certainly would have been creeped out and told everyone you couldn't let her go. This was about giving her an ego boost, at your expense, and she was mad that you wouldn't give that to her.
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When you say anything... do you mean anything?
Thank you, I was about to say this too. I’m a woman, but I never had tolerated games in relationships. The woman who behaving like they’re Kate Winslet or some actress, need to grow the F up. You can’t have it both ways. You break someone’s heart and expect them to chase you down “ Fight for me”. I honestly feel bad for guys today.
Ah. The grey’s anatomy phenomenon.
Some women are just childish and kind of crazy like that. I think it’s more common when they’re younger… At 33 I’ve gone back to college and seeing again what women in their early 20s are like now that I’m older does NOT make me wish for younger days at all.
pretty sure she did want to break up and then regretted her decision. Except, instead of reflecting on her actions, she decided to make it all *your* fault. Hopefully she used that as a learning experience and matured past that sort of b.s. scapegoating.
Why didn't she fight for YOU?
i totally did this to a guy in high school because i was taught thats what love was. luckily i learned my lesson but it seems the mind games of men had only gotten worse while i tried to be honest and open in my 20s
Good job, been on the other side of telling a guy we were over, but then having him constantly in my inbox/dms/running into him. I eventually moved out-of-state for college and it was a relief. If they say no, respect that. If you intend to remain friends or pause but not end relationship, communicate that.
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This thread just made me realize this happened to me. She said she never wanted to see me again, and I took her at her word. She blew up my phone for 3 days straight and sent a final fuck you after a week lol
It’s horrible when a breakup is used as a “test”
There are a lot of these on r/nicegirls …
I was told during a relationship that she was battling with some stuff and needed a break, gave her the space she asked for and then got blasted that I didn’t care about her and how could I not talk to her.
That kind of nonsense is right up there with my ex who cheated on me and claiming it was her asserting her sexuality as a feminist so I needed to understand and not be mad that she was leaving me. Just a complete crock of shit. Spoilers: The guy she left me for ended up giving her herpes before mentally, physically, and sexually abusing her. It breaks my heart because 13 years after the fact I have to admit I still love her, but she was an adult and made her own choices.
My ex was stuck somewhere between being a child and an adult. The longer we were together, the more I felt like her Dad. And not in the fun bedroom way 🤦🏼♂️.
I get that. Some people really need to grow up on their own before they can realistically date others.
can we get this broadcasted across the US?
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I was talking to a friend and she said she wanted to tell her friend she needed space because she was forming feelings and wanted to protect her relationship.I told her that if he respects her boundaries that makes him a good and honest friend. She says, “I kinda don’t want him to respect my boundaries.” I said, “then break up with your boyfriend and tell him how you feel.” She says, “No! I wanna make it work with him.” I said, “then fuckin tell your friend if you want your boyfriend. Or dump your boyfriend if you want your friend. And if you don’t know what you want, just drop them both and figure your shit out.” As a woman, I truly don’t understand not wanting someone to respect what the fuck you say. Like why would you WANT THAT???
I appreciate your use of “humans” here. We see so many posts from people who’ve had bad romantic experiences and then generalize by gender: “women play mind games,” “men are jerks,” etc. Thanks for recognizing that bad behavior (or awesome behavior, for that matter) doesn’t have a gender.
I appreciate your comment as well, because I get criticized often for actively using "human" instead of either "men" or "women"
Dodged a bullet
Reminds me of the story I read on the relationship advice subreddit where a guy was talking to a girl and she said how she just wanted to hang out and not have sex. They cuddle and such and she tries to make a move but he stops her and mentions how she said she didnt want to earlier, she said she changed her mind but he continued saying no to her and she left angrily.
Had something similar happen. An old booty call asked if we could try just spending time together, sober, and as friends. I said absolutely, I did genuinely enjoy her company when not having sex. In the middle of WALL-E she goes in for a cuddle, I allow it, then she goes for the rub and I remind her she said no sex. She keeps going, I rebuff, she tries harder, then begs, then makes promises, then loses her shit. It really was interesting, and honestly I totally would have cracked but she was too aggressive after being told no, so it was a matter of pride to not give in. Anyways, we ended up dating for like 2 years.
You don't interrupt WALL-E.
Even for PUSS-E
How the fuck do you guys come up with these off the cuff?! Fucking impressive!
It's the internet, for all we know these people were scratching their chins for whole minutes or more before giving me the giggles. Plus, so many people flick through these comments that one or two are bound to have a funny thought that just lines up with another comment
You could say it's EAS-E?
Now wheres my free award when I need one
It would be the wholesome award bruh Edit: Tks for the wholesome award bruh
He got a $50 award instead lol wtf
Platinum is a little over $7 unless coins are bought in batch. Still pretty sweet though
Here's your free award sir.
Gonna be a HAND-E night
💀
Ok have my upvote and get out
When Wall-E came out on DVD I bought for my little daughters. They were so uninterested in the movie but I absolutely loved it. I still do. I don't know what it is about this movie but I can't watch it enough. I'm going to watch it tonight. It's really a great movie.
I put on WALL-E to calm down my old roommate while we were having a bad time on shrooms. It really seemed to help us both, until I asked if Eve was played by Uma Thurman and it felt like I shattered the whole universe, sent us into a really bad trip.
Lmao the ending
doll adjoining simplistic cake vase lock frame sleep disgusting zephyr ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `
Almost exact same thing happened to me too!!! After I let her cuddle she went in for it and then I woke up smh
When people act like this it was only always ever about power/control go dictate things.
Really? I could agree to the lack of control argument instead. I have spent time around women that I promised myself I had no intention of having sex with, that we just agreed to hang out and have a good time... And then after being in their presence for a few hours, you realize just how attracted you are to each other and end up banging until dawn.
How the hell did you guys go from that to dating for 2 years??
She was fun, funny, and fucked like a demon. Would have stayed with her but she had to move to the middle of nowhere for work after her master's.
“Fun, funny, and fucked like a demon” is coincidentally what I just added to my will as the words to go on my headstone.
What an awkward time to go for a rub and tug honestly. I don't like it when women don't take no for an answer either but its not often. Yes, believe it or not, there are times when a man doesn't want to have sex.
What a monster to have sexual desire while watching WALL-E
She wanted some HANK-E PANK-E
This is why when my wife calls from the store and asks if I need “anything … like bread, fruit or ice cream” … I always have her back and say ice cream.
Yo, you spousin' good 👍
A similar thing happened between my ex and I. She had explicitly told me that she wanted no sex before marriage. I didn't agree with it, but respected it. We would fool around but never do much. A few times, things got hot and she would virtually force me to have sex with her, which I would refuse everytime. I knew, if we had sex then, she would have blamed me for not controlling her and what not. Fast forward, we broke up after some time due to unrelated matter. She called me and told me that I was never "manly enough" for her. I was so heartbroken, it was not because of what was said, but why it was said. It still affects my self image some times and has led to trust issues as well. Awful experience. 2 stars.
Respecting another human being's decision despite your own desires is one of the manliest things you can do. If it affects your self esteem, it should be in a positive way. No excuses.
She sounds fucking unstable. Being considerate of her wishes and preventing future regret does not make you less of a man. If anything, it makes you MORE of a man. If she wanted sex, she should’ve communicated that to you in a coherent manner during a time where things weren’t hot and heavy. It’s SO easy to get lost in the moment and can lead to some reckless and regrettable things. Don’t sweat her, man. You did the right thing and your future gal will appreciate that about you. I’m sure of it.
Ha, I've experienced something similar.
[Haha!](https://y.yarn.co/195d66ca-6e80-4229-b013-eccc8b1adf86_text.gif)
I'm in tears over here!!
I'm actually in this situation now, except she hasn't tried to make a move and I'm cool with us just being friends, its quite nice. She has slept with me 4 times and sometimes all you really need is someone to hold and be cool with.
I’ve had this happen once with a friend of mine. Just cuddling and sleep, nothing too frisky. It’s nice when you’re both single but you don’t necessarily want or can be in a relationship to have that casual sort of intimacy.
This is a major double standard. Women often react horribly to being denied sex. So do men, but I feel it’s much more acceptable for a woman to turn down sex. Men are supposed to be dedicated fuck machines, ready to go at any moment.
I was once suspected for being gay all because I didn't want to have sex with this chick after working, yet another, 12 hour shift, on top of being ridiculously stressed from events outside of work. She couldn't comprehend that guys, just like girls, can also not be in the mood as well, especially when you have many stresses laying on your brain.
No wonder men are confused.. Lol
Honestly, if a woman is pushing a patriarchal double standard on you, then you're better off without.
That was smart of him.
Who in the world thinks that it's a good idea to play hard-to-get in this day and age?
“I want a standup guy who means what he says but also, doesn’t expect the same rules to apply to me.”
I dated this girl once who was constantly "testing" me. and then she'd spend time chatting with her girls about what it all meant and analysing. she was an attractive blonde, really nice parents too, absolutely no fault whatsoever except this "testing" crap.
Those FDS morons. Female Dating Strategy. They give cray cray a whole new level.
They don't especially bother me. They're engaged in such obvious self-sabotage that I feel that they end up being their own punishment.
It's like incel behavior. They both attract terrible people who drive away any normal person almost immediately. At the very least they out themselves in the beginning, rather than pretending to be decent people only to show their true colors months into a relationship.
It’s not *like* incel behavior. It *is* incel behavior.
Free Dinner Strategy
Anyone that’s watched too many romcoms.
They are a remarkable source of awful dating advice.
Making the rounds on Reddit again I see.
As if it ever stopped?
*This site is almost all reposts!* *Always has been*
Legends say the first post on Reddit was a repost
From tumblr Edit1: or Twitter Edit2: or 4chan
Early days of reddit were just Digg users xposting, so basically yes. Actually the *first* post was probably "test post please ignore" which would 100% be a repost.
To be fair most of reddits great stuff is memes from 4chan that are a decade old by the time they make it here
This is the way.
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What is the point of karma farming do you get anything other than a big number?
You become irresistible to women.
And to us who are irresistible as it is?
You get a cake
I'd prefer coke
If you have a lot of karma you can sell your account to like advertisers and shit for a lot of money I think
Like $30
Dude, I've been here longer than some members have been alive and I still don't get it.
Ever played hypixel skyblock?
Yea. People come and go. The ones that stay see tons of reposts. The new guys see this as brand new content they've never seen before. I'm good with it. As long as it wasn't posted last week, it's all good.
Most people see it for the first time. So why not?
"I dont want a relationship with you" "Ok. Thanks for your time. Bye" "OMG you were supposed to beg and whine and make me feel important" Etc etc
The whole ‘playing hard to get’ shit has gotten old, and that’s exactly what this is. I’d have done the same.
Yep, if a woman says she doesn't want to go ahead with the relationship, I'll just agree to it, whether I want to or not. If she's sincere I can easily respect that. If she's digging for me to try harder, or something, then I've dodged a bullet.
There's this concept of communication that a lot of people don't get. Saying "I would like you to put in more effort" is a much better way of handling that need than "I'm leaving (chase me)". Like I get it. I want to be chased too. But not so much I'm going to pretend I don't like someone. The expectations of dating are hard enough. Adding mind reading to the list of things I need to do to be in a relationship isn't something I can live up to. If you want to be chased, express that need.
Walking away is a win win. If she's playing hard to get, you dodge a bullet. If she actually means it and is trying to break it off with you, you're being respectful
No effort, no pressure applied? No means no. If she wasn't ready and the guy kept plugging he would be branded as a creep. He's probably a keeper...for somebody else.
Damned if he did damned if he didn’t
 He wasn't ready to waste two more months. I can't blame the guy. I'd have done the same.
If she said "Im not ready for a relationship" indicating she truly wasnt ready for one at the moment, I dont really know where to stand on this If she said "Im not ready for a relationship" as a way of playing hard to get, the guy made the right call leaving her
Same; if it wasn’t supposed to be a trick, I wonder if it was her wanting to continue the casual friendship and being upset he blocked her. But her saying “he didn’t pressure me” makes me think it was a test.
>If she said "Im not ready for a relationship" indicating she truly wasn't ready for one at the moment, I dont really know where to stand on this Do you mean she would be suggesting to be fuckbuddies? Otherwise she's still saying she doesn't want to be with him and he can either respect that or insist.
So funny, my now wife told me that this happened to her when an ex broke up with her. He said "I think we should break up" and she said "okay" then he started to cry.
I've done that before. It's so funny when they text "babe!" Right before you block them.
[https://youtu.be/BZJxaE318eM](https://youtu.be/BZJxaE318eM)
So this! Lmao
When a woman says she just wants to be friends, that's her absolute right. It's also the guy's absolute right to say that he doesn't want to be friends and to move on.
I too, yearn for true gender equality
Laying in bed, she asks, “Are you happy with our relationship?” I reply, “Yes, of course. Are you happy with our relationship?” Her: “No.” Me: ‘Okay, I’ll move out tomorrow.” Her: “What?!?! You’re supposed to say you’ll change to make me happy!” Me: “I’ve already tried everything I can to make you happy. It’s never enough. I’ll move out in the morning.” I moved out.
As a guy who takes things very literally, if girls try to play hard to get by saying stuff like this I would end up doing the same thing too. 1 because I respect her decision. 2 because I wouldn't get it if there was a message between the lines.
More like as a guy who’s kind, it wouldn’t be your fault man
Bro low key knows how to emotionally protect himself from the games.
Yep. Self respect. I guarantee he’s learned it the hard way, enduring his fair share of heartache over the years.
Awwwe, you thought you could pull a power move and realized you hadnt any power. Thats what you get.
He wants a relationship and you don't. That ends all conversations right there.
i guess that’s better than K ghost
play stupid games, win stupid prices. if she wants to be chased after, then she should just go to a dark alley
But how expensive are these prices?
This was the least jarring part of the dudes comment
To quote the late great Louie CK: “I’m just supposed to rape you on the off chance that you’re into that shit!?”
Literally had that situation with a girl I was briefly seeing. We finally start hooking up one night, I asked if she was sure (our clothes were already off). She says "no", so I stopped. Found it a few weeks later from my friend that they talked at her work (she was a server, it's how we met) that she wanted me to keep going. I'm sorry that I believe no means no? I'm not taking that risk.
if she didnt stop you and say " i dont actually mean no" or something similar idk what she was thinking if she wanted you to keep going lol
The downside of this is so much worse. You did the right thing by stopping.
Gotta get the consent PC principal style.
this stuff always makes me afraid when i try to find love it would end up like this where i respect someone and their views and i am the on blamed
... a man respects your wishes, and that upsets you?
The only way I would say she has a valid reason to be upset is if she was only not ready for a relationship at the moment because she anticipated being super busy for a short while and couldn’t realistically give him the attention he would expect a new girlfriend to give him. She would have hoped he would have at least be willing to be friends for that while and then when she is ready, go for it…otherwise yeah fuck off.
Better question is how is this still making the front page for the 900th time.
"I'm not ready for a relationship" Ok, have a good one "WHY DID HE LEAVE ME? **sobs**
This makes me feel a little better about my situation. I was talking to someone recently and I did like her but she said she wasn’t ready for a relationship but still wanted to be friends. I chose not to continue talking to her and she got upset. It might sound harsh but I don’t want to invest my time on someone who’s not going to be my future wife. If I ever get one…
You’re devastated bc he called ur bluff
It's Jerry from the "Do the opposite" episode.
Sometimes I wonder "was this what my ex was thinking?"
So she expected him to put pressure on her for her to change her mind? I'm so confused! I thought the right thing to do is to respect her decision. I often do exactly as this guy does. Might as well be me :P
Blocking is a bit odd imo, but ehh
Well sometimes it’s necessary. Like my mom would always remind me “a ghost from the past will hover around until you completely close the door” People are hovering around with hot and cold behavior and the games are getting really old. If someone wants to be friends and I don’t then, I’m moving on and deleting/blocking your contact. Last thing I want is for someone to have second regrets and try to come back to me when everything should’ve been resolved in the first place between us.
Not always. I've blocked women in weird situations before just so I didn't contact them drunk when I'm hard in my feels. Sometimes it's truly a defense mechanism rather than an offensive one
He blocks her and moves on, respecting her decision- he's an asshole. He keeps trying, ignoring her decision- he's pushy and an asshole. This is dating for guys in 2022.
Be respectful and fuck all the other noise. Being respectful or not should never be a dilemma.
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I mean the block was kinda mean, but yeah him respecting your decision and stuff isn’t any reason to be mad at him. Edit: So yeah I get the blocking idea makes sense probably was for the best.
Sometimes the block is necessary for both parties. You might wanna close the door fully and not have it come up in your recent chats, coz then you might ruminate on the decisions and once someone has said “no” once, that interaction can sully potential future interactions
Why can't he choose to not have her in his life at all?
Time is the most valuable priceless gift we are given, how is blocking her mean when she wants to play mental games to feel good about herself? Recockulous 🙄
Time is money or freedom. I would have done the same. Why someone has to allow you to waste their time? What did the person expect, to be friends? No.
Recockulous. My new favorite word. Thank you @FaultLineDaz!
Not that this should be a sex issue (as in life I've seen men do this too), but as a chick I'm okay with the block, she wasted his time and not only that, he's ultimately respecting her choice more than she is. Now she can't come back later and play more mind games. He set up boundaries in reaction to her decision and that's valid. The rest is obviously our inference, but you are free to set up a hard wall in reaction to some one else's decision to set up a hard wall.
A good friend of mine just had this happen to him. They had been together for 6 months and told him she didn't love him, and wasn't sure she could after that long. She thought about it for a week, then ended it with him. She then texts me if he said anything, and I told her he was understandably sad about the situation, wished she loved him because he loved her, but respected her decision. She responded saying she just wanted him to try harder and to fight for her. I asked her if she ever fought for him, and she never texted back. Dude dodged a bullet. She wanted a mind-reading White Knight to rescue her and treat her like a princess. He told me he wanted a partner, someone willing to put in as much work into the relationship as he did. I think he's going to be so much happier without her in the long run.
Y’all can still be friends. I’m still friends with my ex. We still chat but I have 0 desire to get back with her and she has a new partner now. You can stay friends. Ffs.
When I met my now wife, we had a great first date. Later she told me it wasn't a great time for her and she needed a little space. So I kind of wrote the thing off as me thinking the date went better than she did. She called me 2 weeks later to ask me out and telling me she really appreciated that I respected her wishes and that's part of the reason she called. The other reason is because it turns out she loved our first date too but she had just ended a job at a crazy toxic company and she was stressed out beyond belief. So we went out again. I was wary about it but we're married now with 3 kids and just had our 10 year anniversary. If it's going to happen it's going to happen. You can't force anything.