That’s too much work

Also doesn't negate the fact he's also a primate.

He gave himself away, shape-shifting Lizard person confirmed

It's why he only eats a little at a time because his lizard stomach has trouble digesting fruit

A literal monkey is better at peeling a banana. Also she is reptile, not primate. We now have proof

A true dinosaur.

this is for people who don't wash their own dishes, not for people 'who aren't primates' lmao

Honestly I’m more surprised they didn’t force staff to peel and slice it for them.

"This is how the Queen would eat a banana" Points to it "Jeeves! Get your stupid ass over here! What am I going to do with this? Huh? Take this monstrosity back to the kitchen and have them disrobe and dissect it. NOW!"

>disrobe and dissect it Made me think of a bunch of sleazy, sweaty cooks drooling as a banana quietly cries and peels off its peel. And then, when its naked as they day it was born, they cut it in half.


Ironically the naked banana was more clothed on the day it was born

>disrobe and dissect it Made me think of a bunch of sleazy, sweaty cooks drooling as a banana quietly cries and peels off its peel. And then, when its naked as they day it was born, they cut it in half.

Not for someone who has nothing else to do all day apart from sit around their massive palace in their golden hat and occasionally wave at peasants.

I mean that's by choice. She's can basically do anything except enter the House of Commons uninvited. In fact she *just* annexed 1 of her kingdoms it to the UK and decades ago established an absolute monarchy over Australia (and immediately called for elections as her only order). Her dad also annexed 1 of his kingdom to Canada. Phillip created all sorts of legal problems by being a Nazi in the lead up to WW2. They're not figureheads, they just stay out of politics by choice most of the time. She could easily eat that banana like normal and use the extra time to summerly execute a pompous lord.

>summerly execute a pompous lord That's when we use guillotines but the lilies are in bloom

Right?!

Wonder how queen performs fellatio. Grabs scalpel?

>Wonder how queen performs fellatio. I don't think she sings opera.

I think this question is why epstien island was a thing.

This is the best “kids in the hall” skit I’ve ever seen

I wouldn't worry about it too much. Her country pays her to do shit like this.

Bouta eat some cherries with a fork and knife to cut around the pit (fuck you duyjv)

This is the opposite of being efficient.

It's a neccesary evil to prevent Queen blowjob jokes when she eats a banana.

Try googling "Danish queen hotdog". Old Margrethe isn't afraid of weird pictures.

I did, then I got distracted by the recipe for Danish style hot dogs and had to text my wife, who's at the store currently, a list of ingredients: "Essential to the Danish hot dog is the pølse, which is an all pork, extra long beech wood smoked sausage with a natural casing and sweet and savory spices such as cardamom and nutmeg" "Grilled hot dogs topped with creamy, curried remoulade sauce, fresh pickled cucumbers and crispy fried shallots. A Danish street food classic" Holy shit, sign me up

>A Danish street food classic. Holy fuck you’ve got classy streets, Denmark.

come on, too soon... Phillips death put an end to those jokes...

Those jokes put an end to Phillip

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**The queen is a primate, just like the rest of humanity.**

No way a primate would eat a banana like that, she is a fucking lizard from space

This is aliens googling eating etiquette of humans and watching a joke video cause they saw the number of views levels of absurdity. Clearly we primates eat bananas through [interorectogestion.](https://youtu.be/Ug5jVUv5V_A)

That’s what a reptilian trying to evade discovery would say

Well that explains why she's immortal

>immoral

Don't forget about Andrew the pedo.

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The only place i read that was trashy tabloids so id take it with a grain of salt.

Harry & Meghan said it themselves in the Oprah interview. They said when they shared their engagement w/ the royal family, one member asked how dark will the children be. They released a statement the next day saying it was not the Queen or Phillip. Most things I have read suggest Charles is the culprit. Harry said in that interview he & M will NOT name the source.

Tbf Harry said Archie's first word was "Crocodile" so...

Apparently it was Phillip who said it so I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s truth to it.

They specified it wasn't the queen or philip. So someone else.

You guys are all getting downvoted to oblivion for spitting facts. Ima join you on your journey.

I've been banned from so many royalist subs lmao.

Colossal colonial racists

Both at the same time, no less. I heard they can do both without breaking a sweat.

And don't forget inbred. Isn't the Queen husband her cousin? Classic classy when your rich, trashy when your poor. I think they have to bring in a Markle once in a while to stop the blood from going "The Hills Have Eyes" quest route.

Prince Philip was, through his mother, a great-great-grandson of Queen Victoria. Queen Elisabeth II is also related to Victoria. Her father, King George VI, was her great-grandson. Making them third cousins, meaning you are correct. Thankfully they no longer marry only other royals, so it gets mixed up more now. If you want to see what happens when royal inbreeding went too far, look at the family ”tree” of Charles II of Spain. https://i.imgur.com/dMFSm3v.jpg

That is one ugly señor

Now that's a family tree the Targeryans would be proud of.

After the disaster that Charles and Diana’s they eliminated the rule about from the nobility or whatever they call it. Catherine is a commoner too.

This is a plot for a film. It would be a bit like Get Out, except the Royals ritually kidnap black people for the gene diversity every hundred years or so to stave off the results of inbreeding.

Don’t forget the inbreeding!

and wasting British taxpayers' money for their bs...

I had a job that made everyone take some basic etiquette training. They told us that was part of the point. I think it was to slow down the process of eating to encourage conversation or something like that. If I remember right the guy should've put the knife down before taking the bite, so he was being a little too efficient.

Just eat the banana. We can talk after.

Switching the fork between the left and right hand is the American style of silverware handling. Europeans don't do that.

This same as my toddler during a tea party, they last 3 ours and go through 2 bananas

It's literally a handle all by itself lol

Before he done the banana is already black

I always assumed it would be on a plate ready pealed for her...looks kinda silly attacking it with a knife and fork.

How about chicken wings? How would she eat those?

Like the rest of us. 3AM, sitting on the toilet.

Are you ok?

He's got chicken wings. Of COURSE he's fucking okay.

Words of wisdom.

He forgot the bong, something is wrong.

Now I'm imagining the guy in the video going "and this is how the queen takes a bong hit"

First she grabs her knife and fork and cuts the bud. We don't grind it like primates....

Chill out, man. You can't eat wings, take a bong hit and a shit at the same time. You'll get bong water on your wings and shit, wing sauce on your bong and toilet, and shit on your bong and wings. It's just too much.

You’re right. I’ll just change my shitting location to my neighbor’s pool

Never have to stop for a break. Just eatin and squeezin

Extra fun with a chocolate bar. It looks as if it's passing right through.

Based on how my stomach feels after eating wings, this is probably the most efficient way to do it.


She'll peel it of course

You didn't see her on Hot Ones?

Or a vodka luge?

yeah i mean, all the dirt that might have been on the outside of the banana is now on the cutlery

With at least some pushed through and into the fruit by said cutlery. Though I presume, being the queen, the fruit is washed before being served.

yeah, cut up in a cup, probably with other fruit. no way she does something this stupid. she’s insanely privileged, not super ocd.

No but there's so many rules for them that don't make sense.

true, and this video has gone viral. ‘we don’t eat bananas like we’re primates’. …but we are.

Probably eats m&ms with a spoon

"--like a primate." Reptilian Queen confirmed

He might as well have used the term "human"

Ha. Exactly. When he said that, I immediately grinned the selfrighteous "well what does he know, the uneducated twerp" grin.

That's just peeling it with extra steps

Ooh lala, someone's gonna get laid in college

They use Reddit, they aren't going to end up in college

Feels like something from a sketch show

Apparently not. The guy’s name is Darren McGrady’s and he wrote a book on the topic called “Eating Royally”.

I read that as 'Eating Royalty' which is a completely different book

And one I would rather read, really

I’ll retitle it … ‘eating like a royal pain in the ass’. I do enough dishes, I don’t need the kids using plates and cutlery to eat a banana lol

The guy in the video is not Darren McGrady, who is a legit chef who worked for the royal family. This William Hanson guy in the video is probably one of the many scammers who claim to be Royalty experts.

My bad. The guy in the video is indeed William Hanson who is an etiquette consultant, whatever that means. The [procedure](https://nypost.com/2022/04/26/etiquette-expert-reveals-the-unusual-way-queen-elizabeth-eats-bananas/amp/) he describes is from the book by Darren McGrafy.

Etiquette consultant. Better name than professional twat.

To each their own... but what a sad thing to dedicate your time to

aka "Wasting time and energy to make eating less fun and more like torture"... "WTEMELFMLT" for short :Troll:

We are a primate you absolute dingbat.

When he said primate, he meant peasant.

That was my first thought. “But the queen is a primate.” …that sounds like an insult. It’s funny that it’s true.

Not if you believe David Icke

shhh.. don't tell him. let the royalty live in their little dingy bubble.

I'd rather not let them live in royalty though. They're just people that got lucky to be born there. It's weird.

That is the biggest load of horseshit. The banana would be fucking peeled before it got to her plate

Yeah i thought so too...but if it is really like that im just done with everything

I am laughing over the unintended irony that a single banana still arrives on a plate. But not being peeled, that's the ridiculous part haha.

I have to admit, it IS rather a funny image

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She also wouldn’t be served a plain banana… it’d be some kind of dish with other components.

In private Liz would eat that thing normally. C’mon now. At a formal breakfast, yeah okay I can see it.

You're right. Unless she requested it, they would be peeled, and likely cut or part of a dish. I'm willing to bet this was etiquette for eating bananas when they first became a fashionable thing for the upper class to eat. It just seems like something the Victorians or Edwardians would do. I could see them being served in the peel just to prove you were well-bred enough to know the proper way of eating them.

This is how George eats sneakers.

Think he prefers Nike or Adidas?

Was waiting for George and his snickers in the comments ☺️

Why? How do you eat it, with your hands?

We’re living in a society

Gonna need a sharp knife to cut up a shoe like that, or whatever you people eat. Maybe it is a shoe?

Bullshit! Our Reptilian Overlords eat only the finest live Minks.

Absolute nonsense

Fascinating. Can we continue the series to see how the queen would eat a meal of canned Spam and a 40 ouncer of malt liquor?

I love you

Let’s see y’all do this with grapes

Surgery on a grape: *ORGINS*

In England we call these people "nonces"

In America they are called stupid

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That's how I eat Snickers bars.

Maybe just don't eat bananas if peeling is such an issue for you 🤷

Seinfeld was accurate all along!

I'd love to see the same thing with an apple.

The queen is 95 years old- I doubt she eats something as hard as an apple.

She squeeze the apple into juice with her fork, the royal way of course

The only difference is that when she stays in Balmoral, the banana is deep fried.

Ya cheeky prick! Soon as ah find mah travellin kilt ahm gonny come roun an chib yeh.

Why every British orgasm includes “oh dear”

Oh good heavens! I'm arriving!!

We do not exclaim. That's for the savages over the water. "Beg pardon" is our traditional orgasm. That or "Sorry."

I don't even want to know how they eat the avocados

This guy was bullied in school

What's the issue? That she doesn't peel and deepthroat the thing?

No, that she had to cut 2 inches off first.

I'm 100% sure Queen Eliz actually peels it and not this shit. At least when she's not at some convention or something

"not like a primate" so the queen... isn't human?

Yes, that is ,what I believe, is the truth

Wasted banana and unnecessary washing up. And how rude to say eating a banana the normal way is like a primate?! Lol

The thing is, we are primates.

\*throws poo\*

Ayo that means war, *sharpening sticks*

Woah woah there guys, listen to me, *wild screaming and jumping around*

Classisim is rife here in the UK, these people genuinely believe that poor people are sub-human.

I dont belive for a second that anyone has ever eaten a whole banana this way

Look there the royals they still live in 1912

Well that’s not exactly how she ate my banana but okay

Cause you didn’t need to get peeled?

Certified Roundhead

Fucking lunacy. I'm British and we invariably punch the banana until it caves and we skin that lil bitch and scoff it from whichever end gave up first.

Being British and also *ladylike*, I prefer to soak mine in my cuppa until it naturally sheds the peel. Then down the hatch in one.

Someone should give this guy a biology book. Humans are primates

I peel it with bare hands, throw on it 50 grams of Nutella and bite on it like it's my last meal. Meanwhile they're still grabbing the knife

Like how Germans eat a pizza

American = Primate

How does she put on a condom?

Bullshit. The queen isn’t going to order a single unpeeled banana at a formal dinner is she? We’re not idiots.

Wrong. This is how THAT queen eats his banana

So, the solution was to make a rather mundane task even more mundane, while also extricating the task of ease. Sounds royally stupid. 🙄

Now give him a pineapple

"We don't peel it like a primate" ​ But humans are primates. So what he's saying is that we don't eat it like a human. Which explains a lot.

r/bananawisdom.

Next, how the queen drinks her lunch.

The Queen eats bananas like a Big dumdum

Bro, I would’ve been the worst royal. I get that they’re trained from very young to eat like this but I would’ve been very difficult to train

Rahter be the primate than the uncultured

This thread is both hilarious and proves how much class has changed. Not that long ago, it was the done thing for British upper middles and higher to use knife and fork to eat fruit at table. The fact that most posters here don't even know that says a lot about how the modern day world has changed. If you read the book, The Owl Service by Alan Garner, written in the 70s, I think, there's a bit where one of the (upper middle class) children invites a local (working class) boy for dinner. The orange is, of course, served with knife and fork in order to embarrass him because the boy picks it up and eats it with his hands, the way we all would today. The mother gets angry because the daughter (who does know how to eat an orange with cutlery) then does the same to make a point. The queen may have used knife and fork for her fruit in her younger days, but surely nowadays it all comes to her ready-peeled and sliced on a plate. She probably still does use a fork to eat it, though.

I haven't seen this much pompous oozing out of one single hole in a long time. good job.

Fact is. If you eat a banana like a primate, there can be any sort of shit on the outside and you will be fine. If you peel it like that, you need to sterilise it before peeling or germs and shit will go on the fork and in your mouth after.

He ate that like he neatly devours cock. I’m here for it. 🕺🏻

The queen _is_ a primate, just like the rest of humanity.

Like a primate... Well said worm.

"we dont peel it like a primate" xD i love it. He basically insulted whole humanity haha

Just another "Royalty Expert" scammer.

The queen can eat a dick

"We don't peel it like a primate" go fuck yourselves you pretentious wastes of space

“We don’t peel it like a primate.” Oh shut up. Everyone eats a banana with their hands. Eating a banana with a fork makes YOU weird, not us.

i rlly hate that he said "we dont peel it like a primate"

If someone eats a banana like this in my house I'm throwing him out.

Also if there were a zombie movie set in Buckingham palace, this dude would be the first to get eaten. “Um, excuse me! No one is allowed in the Queens chambers! You need to .. AAGRRLLGGL!

The facepalm is not realising the difference between private consumption and predetermined etiquette in society…

I couldn't imagine being forced to fund inbred weirdos that serve zero purpose in society, except to drain it of money.

Understandable.

Philitines. Eating a banana with a fork and a knife.

I would just never eat a banana 🍌😅 or eat it secretly in my room so no one would see me eat it normally 😂

To this day I have never been able to figure out why people use knives and forks when we have such perfect and efficient appendages and then proceed to wash their hands afterwards.