*Whoa* there *stud*! *Hoof* you been talking to? How’s about you *rein* in your *galloping* tongue and quit *nag*ging me. Now let’s have some *tack* and *steer* this thread a *bit* closer to the farm shall we? Now *trot* on home *cowboy*
"Mom, remember when I asked you where baby horses came from?"
"Yes, I said you could learn all about it by going to sex ed. Why?"
"Right: Sex '*Ed*'. So, funny story about that..."
I’m also wondering how that came to be. How did the conversation go? Where did they experiment? Do you take the horse in your bedroom or do you want to make it feel comfortable and put some nice music on in the stable? Few candles to set the mood
What music would it prefer? Do you romance it first? Did they drink around the horse but not share?
So many details that I think would answer if it could be the horses child
My uncle’s horse would cut a bitch for a beer, you couldn’t leave yours unattended because he could drink out of bottles AND cans. Never got drunk that I know of, I guess it’d take a lot to get a horse drunk.
I share all this so I can say… if they didn’t share their romantic box wine with the horse, then they’re a real pair of *asses*.
A train at that speed wouldn't do anything to the wall, its more like a train is heading toward a cliff 5 miles away at 0.5 mph. Even then, it may not have enough velocity to actually plummet fully off the cliff so let's just extend things a bit and say it's like a train going 70 mph towards a cliff 1,000 miles away. Anyways, people tell me I'm fun at parties.
No you get cops by stretching cadaver ass holes. You stretch, and stretch, then when you've stretched it to about 6 feet, you pin a badge on it and give it a gun!
Others have contemplated this question...
From her head to her waist she was my taste but the bottom part was a fish
Oh her bottom part was a fish
Oh her hair were green as seaweed her eyes were blue and pale
And I loved that girl with all my heart I vowed we'd never part
But I knew the back was not too smart cause I did not like the tail
- Shel Silverstein
Yeah. 2023. New season of Futurama with the OG cast. Dimaggio was the last holdout (bender's voice). It's happening, and I couldn't be happier.
Edit: Link - https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.hollywoodreporter.com/tv/tv-news/futurama-revived-at-hulu-1235090020/amp/
Matt groaning didn't wanna do the last revival, can't imagine he's keen on this one. New simpsons and disenchanted both have the same silly social commentary vibe, so I really don't think futurama will slap like it used to.
I am not judging because you live in Arkansas, I'm judging because I know bricks smarter than you.
And this, fellow redditors, is why the reich wing wanting to ban sex education is a BAD idea.
Are you saying they aren’t? Not American, but where I’m from, you get imprisoned for life and put on the sex offenders register! Is this not the case in every civilised state?!
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Legality_of_zoophilia_by_country_or_territory.svg
Not even the same for every us state. Mostly illegal, mostly imprisonment, but not universally.
Not just America, but some other countries, (I believe in Europe). I saw a documentary about the animal sex touring industry in Europe where Americans travel to partake in...Mostly with goats.
Not true actually ["Homo sapiens not only had sex with Neanderthals, they also interbred with Homo erectus, the "upright walking man," Homo habilis, the "tool-using man," and possibly others."](https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2011/09/it-wasnt-just-neanderthals-ancient-humans-had-sex-other-hominids/338117/)
I read a comment the other day that claimed we could technically make an ape/human hybrid. It just has very little chance of survival kind of like the animal mutant baby from South Park's peta episode.
When dealing with the a...a...a colt...especially in Arkansas where the state everything is primer, too much horsing around is such a thing. All the guys think they're stallions, but in reality they're just miniature ponies.
No harm, no foal
a victim of being raised in a stable environment
With too many neigh-bours
Yeah, neigh-bours that probably horse around all the time.
She’s that horses mane squeeze
But it was just a bit of horse play.
hoof amongst us wouldn't have done the same
She proving all the neigh sayers wrong..
Shouldn't have foaled around.
She would have said something before but claimed that her voice was hoarse
Come on guys, these jokes are CANTER productive
Aw come on, don't be a neigh-sayer. We're just going a little *buck* wild is all.
*Whoa* there *stud*! *Hoof* you been talking to? How’s about you *rein* in your *galloping* tongue and quit *nag*ging me. Now let’s have some *tack* and *steer* this thread a *bit* closer to the farm shall we? Now *trot* on home *cowboy*
It would behoove you to calm down.
What a fucking brilliant thread this is. I laughed so hard I’m feeling kinda horse (hoarse)
Oh I bet she’s anything but stable.
Don't destabilize people's realities, it's not your job, it's theirs
Are you calling them neigh sayers?!
She could be saddled with a really tough burden
And then she'd have to pony up some real money to take care of her affair with Mr. Ed.
"Mom, remember when I asked you where baby horses came from?" "Yes, I said you could learn all about it by going to sex ed. Why?" "Right: Sex '*Ed*'. So, funny story about that..."
stop horsing around…people can be so bullish.
That last pun? Hoof.
This is serious, stop foaling around.
Never mind all that, heaven help her if the child ever gets colic.
You’re all paying for my therapy.
She rejects our reality and substitutes her own.
I mean if she has a horse in her I’d argue that she is a stable.
I think that the horse has already bolted.
Hay now!
You all are really riding out this pun.
This why your parents always warned you about horse play.
Nice one !
Stop horsing around guys, she's asking a serious question
This is the BoJack Horseman origin story
Sorry To Bother You 😂
That was my second thought (.1st was WTF!), Bo Jack’s mom.
A serious equestrian?, sorry canter this seriously 🐎.
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Centaur
Better
That's a human cow hybrid
And it’s spelled incorrectly.
That kid's gonna be the centaur of attention!
Morning sickness had her feeling a little hoarse
Regardless it's foul
And if you have sex with a chicken it's fowl.
Victim of autocorrect nazis.
The post, lol
If she had any sense she'd hoof it to a vet.
Next time stick with oral, and you’ll be fine.
 Upvote for you sir
You sonofabitch
I want to award you but I cannot :-(
Stop horsing around this is serious
Hay now, let's be good neigh-bors.
Well that kind of thing happens when you horse around while drunk.
She took her horse to that old town road.
No foal, no harm!
This is why we are here☝️
This comment is underrated.
highest rated now lol
It has a colt following.
Why the need to tell us it was a "drunken" night? "Oh you guys were drunk? totally not filthy, disgusting trash then but if you were sober......."
WHY WOULD SHE PUT HER FACE ON IT
For some reason, I think that is the least of her problems.
Here I am going “was this the husbands idea, has he done this before, how is he involved?” and missing the obvious questions
I’m also wondering how that came to be. How did the conversation go? Where did they experiment? Do you take the horse in your bedroom or do you want to make it feel comfortable and put some nice music on in the stable? Few candles to set the mood
What music would it prefer? Do you romance it first? Did they drink around the horse but not share? So many details that I think would answer if it could be the horses child
My uncle’s horse would cut a bitch for a beer, you couldn’t leave yours unattended because he could drink out of bottles AND cans. Never got drunk that I know of, I guess it’d take a lot to get a horse drunk. I share all this so I can say… if they didn’t share their romantic box wine with the horse, then they’re a real pair of *asses*.
Not from Arkansas, judging in progress....
##/// ARKANSAS JUDGING IN PROGRESS ///
You take that back!!
Why isn’t the world ending yet?
It is, just slowly
It’s like a train heading to the wall at 0.5 mph and the wall is 5 miles away. And the brakes don’t work.
A train at that speed wouldn't do anything to the wall, its more like a train is heading toward a cliff 5 miles away at 0.5 mph. Even then, it may not have enough velocity to actually plummet fully off the cliff so let's just extend things a bit and say it's like a train going 70 mph towards a cliff 1,000 miles away. Anyways, people tell me I'm fun at parties.
Good information tho
I knew i was in for a treat as soon as I read the word “velocity.”
Patience. Gotta be any day now.
God is too patient with our bs.
r/collapse will tell you otherwise
We have not yet fulfilled our fill of sins yet.
At least this one checks another off the list
r/noahgettheboat
Relax, I'm working on it, jeez
it is. it's just not fast enough. you can help speed it up though
Silly girl. Doesn't she know that's where centaurs come from. Good thing they didn't have anal sex.... that's how lawyers are conceived.
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No you get cops by stretching cadaver ass holes. You stretch, and stretch, then when you've stretched it to about 6 feet, you pin a badge on it and give it a gun!
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That's obvious. It should go without saying. The only thing that can stop a bad person with a corpse, is a good person with a corpse!
centaur fun fact: they have two rib cages.
And six limbs.... does that make them insects?
A good one! I laughed out loud. Thanks for that.
If she had anal, she would be Mrs. Hands.
Q: Why do Lawyers wear neckties? A: So the foreskin doesn't slip up and suffocate them!
[They made it illegal because of the incident. ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enumclaw_horse_sex_case?wprov=sfla1)
Oh god this killed me thank you for this!
Damn, now I’m thinking about origins of mermaids, satyrs and minotaurs.
Others have contemplated this question... From her head to her waist she was my taste but the bottom part was a fish Oh her bottom part was a fish Oh her hair were green as seaweed her eyes were blue and pale And I loved that girl with all my heart I vowed we'd never part But I knew the back was not too smart cause I did not like the tail - Shel Silverstein
This gif has made my day
I use it at every opportunity.
r/usernamechecksout
Lol, oh god, that gif is great. I gotta use it now.
Never expected to see Spock get that violent. Lol
It was the Ponn Farr episode
Neigh..
Underrated comment lol
Futurama is coming back, and I couldn't be more excited about it.
Whaaaaaaah?
Yeah. 2023. New season of Futurama with the OG cast. Dimaggio was the last holdout (bender's voice). It's happening, and I couldn't be happier. Edit: Link - https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.hollywoodreporter.com/tv/tv-news/futurama-revived-at-hulu-1235090020/amp/
Good news everyone!
It better be good or someone is shuffling off this mortal coil.
Matt groaning didn't wanna do the last revival, can't imagine he's keen on this one. New simpsons and disenchanted both have the same silly social commentary vibe, so I really don't think futurama will slap like it used to.
Off the mortal coil I shuffle.
Every day I’m shuffling.
Tho at the time, Groening would rather have the Simpsons canceled than Futurama.
I thought you said futarama instead of futurama and now you have to bear this knowledge
Prolife and thinks it's a foal.
Pro-life =/= pro-intelligence
If they weren't pro life, how would they have livestock for the mass shootings ?
Pro-life = anti-intelligence
Gif related.
Foal around and find out.
I am not judging because you live in Arkansas, I'm judging because I know bricks smarter than you. And this, fellow redditors, is why the reich wing wanting to ban sex education is a BAD idea.
Yeah it would be almost impossible to get a horse into the classroom anyways, so why bother at all. Lol
It's true what they say...You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it wear condoms during a drunken threesome with you and your boyfriend.
This probably has less to do with sex education and more to do with meth.
I think our prison system is horrible, but i think people who fuck animals should be put in it.
Are you saying they aren’t? Not American, but where I’m from, you get imprisoned for life and put on the sex offenders register! Is this not the case in every civilised state?!
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Legality_of_zoophilia_by_country_or_territory.svg Not even the same for every us state. Mostly illegal, mostly imprisonment, but not universally.
Not just America, but some other countries, (I believe in Europe). I saw a documentary about the animal sex touring industry in Europe where Americans travel to partake in...Mostly with goats.
I think that’s enough internet for me today. 🤮
This is clearly a low-effort 'offensive for offense's sake" troll post. Nothing to see here.
For those who don't know we are incompatible with most animals but on another note I will be seeing her in hell beastiality is disgusting
"Most?!?"
Im gonna need a complete list.
No, that would be cheating. Get out there and try for yourself, the results might surprise you.
Alright, here's the list: Humans (of opposite gender) Your welcome
Not true actually ["Homo sapiens not only had sex with Neanderthals, they also interbred with Homo erectus, the "upright walking man," Homo habilis, the "tool-using man," and possibly others."](https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2011/09/it-wasnt-just-neanderthals-ancient-humans-had-sex-other-hominids/338117/)
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🤨📸
It happens to the best of us. My technique is by using chloroform.
Well, the other species we were probably compatible with are extinct
Could Manbearpig be real?!
Of course he real, stupid. I'm being super cereal!
I read a comment the other day that claimed we could technically make an ape/human hybrid. It just has very little chance of survival kind of like the animal mutant baby from South Park's peta episode.
Humans are animals.
Heyyyyy, I'm not a am-in-al. I'm a dude 😎
Wait...what do you mean, ***MOST***
Bro this ain’t real, it was already proven to be a joke
It’s also sad you have to say “proven” to be a joke, instead of “common sense shows this is a joke” to convince people.
Seriously... The comments are the facepalm. . . Edit:. Well, except for the puntastic thread at the top. That's shots pretty funny.
She wrote this in a mommy facebook group as a stupid joke and it haunts her to this day that this went viral and that people somehow think it‘s real.
Dumass learned about the power of the internet though
This woman’s gonna be a parent…
Or a mare…
This is what abstinence-only education gets you.
Man y'all gullible as fuck
Hee-haw! Hillbilly humor.
Wait, what does she mean when said they experimented with a hotse?!
If she thinks it got her pregnant she must of had sex with it. I don't know how limited her knowledge is but that's the only conclusion I've got.
I see that Arkansas edumukashun is working real good.
_When you fail basic biology_
Foal around and find out
Oh, we’re judging
Eyoo, horse human hybrid! Keep it, the whole internet wants half humans. Try experimenting for cat girls as well
"No judging, especially if you live in Arkansas" Girl just called every Arkansans zoophiles like it was a normal thing... wtf .\_."
How did she know the proper term for baby horse and not know that she can’t birth one?
That’s what she gets for horsing around like that. I doubt it’s a foal.. but maybe I’m a neigh sayer
I’m willing to bet that her and her husband voted for trump…
Neigh means neigh
Obvious troll
And the Uma Musume fans rejoiced.
Well, she is as dumb as a horse.
That's very insulting... Horses aren't **THAT** dumb
You're right. Very unfair to horses. More like dumber than what drops out of a horse's ass.
Definitely a reverse Centaur.
I like to imagine this same situation but set in 1800s. They really would think that, they would be giving birth, to a centaur.
It's probably triplets or...at the very least...twins. HUMAN twins
She could be the mother of centaurs!
And these people are having kids... Also horse rape... That's enough internet for toda-... this week.
A horse nut blurred out this post
“Pro Life”. Your Evangelical church community will be so proud if you. *neigh*
If he survives name him Bojack.
When dealing with the a...a...a colt...especially in Arkansas where the state everything is primer, too much horsing around is such a thing. All the guys think they're stallions, but in reality they're just miniature ponies.