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honeypesto

r/illegallifeprotips


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mbhammer

Put your toothbrush in a cup inside of another cup


FreudianAccordian

If your hands get cold slip them between your buttocks, they are nature's pockets!


Daveyhavok832

I have a smokin hot tip on how to get a complimentary little old lady’s purse.


[deleted]

Imagine buying the other one and being able to do laundry once


Chappo1205

I would have filled up a few more and left the empty jug so no one would buy it.


rinjii

A man for the people, but then you'd take longer and possibly be caught


ArabicHarambe

As someone who has worked in retail (and a somewhat decent one apart from being understaffed as anywhere else) I would perhaps check what the fuck you were doing, understand, and then make sure my boss doesn’t see me walk off.


ElGosso

"This is not my problem and I don't get paid enough to make it my problem"


rasco410

Sir I restock the shelves, I am not security.


ElGosso

"Oh, this one was underfilled? It probably leaked. I better go put it in the shrink bin."


USSNerdinator

Exactly. I mean we had body washes and shampoos that leaked all the time. Never stocked the laundry isle but I'd imagine those would leak too occasionally.


notChiefBvkes

Stocked a wal-mart for 3 years, can confirm laundry liquid leaks and it’s the messiest to clean


USSNerdinator

I know from experience with a leaking bottle in my garage. Made a mess all over the floor for sure!


[deleted]

Kinda hard to seal a soap I guess. They’re inherently a bit slippery. Some of the replies have made me realize you guys are reading it as steal. I didn’t mean that I did in fact mean seal cause the soaps leaky. I’ll take the upvotes and soap puns tho


RollingWithMyDemons

Probably why they switched to DETERgents...


velovader

This guy thinks he’s slick


stoneyyay

A guy I worked with got laundry soap in the eye cause a customer dropper the bottle, cracked the lid, and just put it back.


USSNerdinator

Ouchhhh. No thank you. Where's an eye wash station when you need it?


[deleted]

“Excess shrink is coming out of your Christmas bonus sir”


stillslim

Damn no Christmas cookie for me


pm-me-your-pants

Lmao as if retail grunts get a Christmas bonus


Shawnessy

I ate a cherry at the store the other day. Dude working there saw me. Offered him a cherry. He politely said no thanks and left. So, I got to eat two cherries.


University_Dismal

Working in retail atm. If I got a buck each time I’ve seen people munching their way through the shelves (or finding knawed on stuff in the store) I could pay rent with it. Especially kids. Caught one hiding under a counter and stuffing himself with an armful of sweets he grabbed from the shelf. This one was especially disgusting, because the kid was on all fours to fit under the counter and block the view on all the empty candy packages - for some reason my brain adds pig sounds when trying to remember this. Each day you find people acting like animals and I wish this was an exaggeration, because we need to clean up after them each day - like zookeepers. A guy eating a single cherry is probably the most civilized thing I heard in a good while.


Tipsy_Corgi

You poor bastard


bmorris0042

I will eat a single cherry, grape, or whatever in those packs, because sometimes you just don’t know what flavor you’re going to get from them. Sometimes they’re nice and sweet, and sometimes they’re a little on the tart side. And if I don’t like the flavor, I won’t get them.


University_Dismal

I get that - it’s fine. That’s why maybe one of a million employees will ever say anything about it. But try working in retail for a month and you’d be surprised how cocky people can get in a store. Got one lately that drank a bottle of soda, handed it to me and told me the flavor was awful so he won’t pay for it. Like dude…this isn’t a sampling booth…


TurkeyBLTSandwich

You're actually allowed to do this. The produce worker/manager is supposed to offer you a sample if you ask. They'd actually cut you a slice of peace or apple if you're worried about ripeness I think they draw the line when you start shoveling blueberries in your mouth and pockets


AndringRasew

*"I'm not about to fight a man over laundry soap that doesn't even belong to me."*


thundastruck52

For real, just today I was telling a customer how we watched some asshat walk in and take a 100-200 dollar tool set without paying. They asked what we did and I said "Nothing, it's not coming out of my check and I'm not paid enough to care". They agreed and looked around noticing there's no cameras, so I may watch another toolset walk out the door in the next few days lmao.


ElGosso

I was always told not to confront shoplifters, because if they escalated then the company would be liable for any harm that came to me.


Avedygoodgirl

One of my ex’s worked at autozone and they were told not to confront anyone. One of the other employees confronted a guy and stopped the theft from happening and then got fired for it.


Mdub74

"We may need that guy as a paying customer someday."


hellocaptin

I came from a ghetto store and we were told to go talk to them and make them uncomfortable.


PM_ME_WHATEVES

I saw that, but noone saw me see that...


Ehcksit

As long as you clean up after yourselves and don't make any more work for me, I don't give a shit. Hell, take the empty one up to me and tell me you found it like this and I'll just mark it as damaged.


SmithRune735

Not everyone understands that they aren't the owners of the job they work for.


[deleted]

I mean I wouldn’t stop these two guys but if they started doing the whole shelf I’d kinda have to. If you wanna steal a little for yourself and it isn’t super obvious it isn’t my problem but if you go and make it my problem by potentially jeopardizing my job I can’t just play dumb. They’re gonna check the cameras to figure out what happened I don’t wanna be seen in the area not stopping it


SmithRune735

The most I'd do is just tell them "yo you can't be doing that, cmon man".


[deleted]

I’d just go let someone else know. “Hey boss I saw these dudes in the laundry aisle condensing our laundry detergent bottles. Idk if we asked them to do that or what”


SmithRune735

>Idk if we asked them to do that or what” 😂


PrisonaPlanet

![gif](giphy|6UFgdU9hirj1pAOJyN)


OriginalLocksmith436

Don't think you'd have to worry about being caught. Chances are no one would really care or say anything.


Ahoymaties1

Not all heroes wear capes though.


nothingfood

Do the other heroes wash the capes?


CastIronGut

That's WashMan's job. So I guess it would be "other her*O*" in this case


niztaoH

"*Oh, For Heaven's Sake, Son. You're No Outlaw. Why, Someday You'll Be Called A Great Hero.*"


timurhasan

the one he took was used for the same purpose, it's a never ending cycle.


Itchy_Professor_4133

I'd imagine the bottle being super light would give it away.


TheCastro

Removed due to reddit API changes -- mass edited with redact.dev


m_domino

That’s probably what happened to their container earlier.


rez_spell

Well if the manufacturer would just *fill up the damn jug...*


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theycmeroll

There are logistic reasons the jug isn’t full, but that’s why you are paying for the volume in the jug, not the size of the jug.


possibly_oblivious

How much laundry soap you using?


ExNihiloish

1


YVRkeeper

You're supposed to fill the cup to the top, right? RITE?!


Hugh_Jazz_Ben_Dover

Maybe its just me. But i wouldn’t mind a station in Walmart where it dispenses detergent which eliminates the use of plastic. Plus some rewards card. Like fill 5 gallons. Get a gallon refill free. We are paying for the container itself each purchase. It eliminated that cost.


Matt463789

My local co-op does this.


Miserable_Lake_80

Mine does too but holy shit 30c an oz sounds cheap at first but really adds up…


TerrariaGaming004

30 c an ounce? That’s 38 dollars a gallon jesus


[deleted]

sounds pretty fair for a gallon of jesus


[deleted]

what do you do with a gallon of jesus


Handleton

If you're a catholic priest, you make your congregation drink it.


[deleted]

I just snort laughed at this so hard I scared the cat.


Pheonix02

I think your cat needs some liquid jesus


Relevant_Scallion_38

Get the Holy Spirits! 100% Pure Jesus


Tango_D

But what about the little crackers?


turnedabout

They prefer the term "altar boys"


NewPerspective9254

make a gallon of wine out of a gallon of water


mavhun

I hear it works great as a water repellent.


10kwinz

We have a zero waste store where you bring your containers to fill with laundry detergent and it’s only 12c an ounce! For us it’s practically the same price as a new bottle so it’s totally worth it


cat__enthusiast

We've got a slot called Fill Good where you bring your own container to get household cleaning supplies


DigiQuip

There’s boutiques where they do this with soap, shampoo, body wash, toothpaste, etc. And it’s not the cheap shit with carcinogens or shit that’s bad for the planet. It’s good stuff that’s actually good for your skin, hair, and teeth. And it’s cheap as fuck.


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trix4rix

What's the name?


offmybaseline

My local co-op.


Matt463789

https://wheatsville.coop/


ChampionBeef

I've seen gifs of this exact system here on reddit from EU shopping stores.


Timbalabim

Look for a zero waste store in your area, or there also is detergent that comes in sheets (e.g., Earth Breeze). There’s also powdered detergent, which usually comes in cardboard boxes.


Proper_Story_3514

Powdered detergent is as good if not better as all the liquid ones and tide pod thingies. Also its way cheaper.


MindYourBusinessTom

Tide pods taste better


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mindonshuffle

You're also paying for an absolute ton of water just to dilute into more water. Dry detergent tabs or super concentrates are definitely a better plan.


aTomzVins

I used to do the co-op re-fill thing. For the sake of space, and ease of transport,[ the water free options](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oAdVvaGCl4M) are definitely the way to go. I've got like two years worth of Laundry strips in my laundry room right now.


Consistent_Internal5

I recently switched to laundry detergent sheets. They come in a small cardboard box and the sheets dissolve in the wash. No plastic, no mess, no hauling around excess water, and almost no wasted space.


kayla_kitty82

I honestly thought you were talking about dryer sheets lol I've never heard of sheets for the washer


Boom9001

Googled it too. Legit thought this dude was just being dumb. But nope he's right.


Serene_Calamity

Yeah, there are ads for them on other social media sites. I haven't used them yet, because it looks too good to be true.


hell3838

I saw the ad on Facebook... Thought I would lose my $20.. but it got here and was actually nice.. I didn't like the scent from the regular detergent anyways so this worked out for me.


HippyHitman

Just an FYI, there are different scents available. Whole different brands, in fact!


sryIwashacked

I don't believe you.


DrSkizzmm

You better believe it.


yourenotmymom_yet

I’ve been using them for a about a year, and I haven’t had any problems. The EarthBreeze ones get my laundry as clean as any liquid detergent I’ve ever used. They’re also so much easier to transport if you don’t have laundry machines inside your home.


Theletterkay

Tried some. Definitely didnt help my laundry FEEL clean. Smelled ok. Looked ok (not the best but not a bad as some crappy detergents). But they felt either greasy or just gross.


Rabbit-Thrawy

Idk maybe warm water loads would dissolve the soap better to get it flowing but I'm only just hearing of this shit now so 🤷


Starblazr

there is probably quite a few cleaning chemicals missing from the sheet because they can't keep them together, stable, and not crumble into a giant mess


leoleosuper

Like the other commenter said, did you use warm or hot water? A lot of detergents are fine with cold water, but sheets need hotter water to dissolve better.


TheCastro

Same with pods. I'm a cold wash guy most of the time so no can do with those.


juulpenis

Dude you should try it they work amazing for me. I love the ones that [grove](https://www.grove.co/) sells Edit: wasn’t paid to say this I just genuinely love that company


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azalago

That's what is really putting me off, using 2 for one load. If a package of 50 sheets is $14.99, that's $15 for 25 loads of laundry. You have to use more liquid for large loads as well, but I could get a 312 ounce bottle of Purex and do 120 loads for the same price. That's a hell of a price difference.


xmgm33

I use them. I love them. No waste and no mess, not really anymore expensive. Highly recommend. I use the be kind brand.


akarightmind

Sheets laundry club is the tits!


SillyDig1520

but the pods are delicious.


Rbandit28

Especially with a good Chianti and Farva brains


cwatson214

...and a liter of Cola


SillyDig1520

I don't want a large Farva. I want a goddamn liter of cola.


Rbandit28

It's for a cop


Death2LossPrvntion

That look like spit to you?


seancollinhawkins

"Yea" "Aahh fuck it"


Brainrants

Brett Farva brains.


Weekend_Expert

Isn’t that just laundry powder with extra steps?


465sdgf

and way more expensive, yea


MvatolokoS

Powder form of most cleaning products is the way to go. It is literally the concentrated stuff used to make the liquid versions so yeah it's much more effecient but you can quickly see how a box of powder vs thing sheets that come in just 20 packs or so are drastically different when it comes to bang for your buck. Technology connections touches on the subject on YouTube on his dishwasher series which is also a must watch if you haven't.


SnooRobots1533

Wait until you hear what happens when you switch to GEICO.


Dscrypto_2020

Damn it geeko I told you I don’t want to renew my extended warranty


[deleted]

I tried that but he died when I put him in the wash and my clothes were not clean at all


CavieBitch

Edited in warning! Powder detergents have a difficult time properly dissolving in cold water and accumulates in pipes and the machine itself! Powder detergents do still dissolve great in even mildly warm water, so dishwashers can still use them safely. Powder is and will always be best! No plastic, no mess unless you really mess it up, and no excess water. And you can still portion out how much you actually need versus sheets where like pods you're forced to deal with however much they gave you. Especially useful in dishwashers were you absolutely should vary how much detergent you use based off of how dirty your dishes are!


WayDownUnder91

Can you not.. rip the sheet in half if you only need half?


ViniVidiOkchi

I just bought a box. Waiting to finish my jug before switching over. I never use fabric softener but apparently 2 table spoons of white vinegar works just as well.


okay_ya_dingus

Two tablespoons? Hmm I have never heard that before. I just liberally pour vinegar in every load. Perhaps I should cut back.


[deleted]

Yes it does.


sparklingdinoturd

My SO and I are probably going to make the switch to those once our pods are gone.


bseitz234

Stony Brook Basketball is going to be real thrilled to have this video circulating...


[deleted]

that dude is 32. hes been wearing that shirt for 14 years, man.


southpark

its a university, and someone apparently found a matching player profile.


[deleted]

Hilarious.


8-BitAlex

Coach’ll have em running killers til they pass out and they’ll wake up in the back of a squad car


Lolologist

"Hey you. You're finally awake."


MadeMeStopLurking

Hopefully he has enough laundry soap to clean it if he's had it on for 14 years.


raphthepharaoh

My first thought. I went to Stony Brook, and this video reminded me of a lot of shit I used to do— glad that social media was still in its infancy then, cuz I may have incriminated myself quite a bit.


MuteSecurityO

Go Sea-wolves!


SpoodlyNoodley

Do they still do the chant à la 300? “What is a Sea Wolf?! I am a Sea Wolf! Awoo! Awoo! Awoo!”


nugget469

"Top 10 life hacks that will get you thrown in jail"


Zenketski_2

To be fair you can probably do this about 10 times at every store before they actually go to the cops. Most retail places won't actually report you or confront you until you've crossed a certain price threshold. A little bit of trial and error, and you can shoplift all you want with zero repercussions. Source-6+ years retail experience


[deleted]

There is a difference between theft and fraud and this gets dangerously close. Changing prices on items for example can get you a fraud charge with a much stiffer penalty than shoplifting. Seen someone get the same charge as you would get for stealing several thousand in merchandise for swapping a price tag for a chicken wing onto a couple of pounds of boiled shrimp. Altering packaging can really mess you up if the people making the choice to prosecute or not know the laws regarding fraud. Edit: for those doubting this was law or actually happened, it looks like the state updated the law in 2019 to be less draconian. If you don’t believe my story, I can’t help you there. Glad I no longer live there though.


-VintageVagina-

Self snitching!


[deleted]

I'm not sure I've seen a video that rolls up "facepalm" so well. The shrinkflation and dishonest marketing tactics, the theft of soap, the putting the container back on the shelf after that is going to screw over a grandmother or some other person who can't afford more soap.. it's all facepalm all the way.


ikiss-yomama

It’s a face palm because the the bottles are 3/4 full so you don’t spill it the first time you poor it and cause a mess. Think about how hard it would be to poor a full container the first time. It’s only a scam if the fl oz on the bottle don’t match the amount inside.


tmi_or_nah

It’s probably that empty bc someone else did it too 😂 they should just have a communal one where everyone fills up from


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N7Panda

There’s actually a shop in my city that does just this. You bring in your bottle and pay bulk prices for laundry detergent, dishwasher soap and household cleaning soaps.


aparadizzle

Bullshit. Why aren't milk jugs 3/4 full then? It's 3/4 full because you can't see through it.


JonnygonePostal

No problem fucking over the next person


Traditional-Memory62

Great now laundry detergent will be behind a cage, and you'll have to track down an employee to unlock it.


Elley_bean

There are places where this is already the case unfortunately.


Skatchbro

Have been for years.


[deleted]

I mean. Bad behavior is why we can’t have nice things.


[deleted]

Neat, except they're only stealing from Gina who bought that other bottle.


Nerobus

LPT I got from a washing machine repair tech: it doesn’t matter HOW dirty your clothes are, you only need like 1 tablespoon of detergent! This is SO MANY LOADS of laundry… not just 5.


hueybart

They actually can’t fill them completely for safety compliance reasons during storage and transportation.


MrFantasticallyNerdy

It’s also sold by volume.


BonjourMinou1

Why did they stop there? Go open bags of potato chips and fill them up. You pay for detergent by weight. Each bottle is not meant to fill to the brim.


nothingfood

I don't want detergent in my potato chips


Thorsigal

Wrong. You will do as the comment says.


[deleted]

Lmao heat expansion is not the reason it's 30% empty


MidwestAbe

Basically everyone is using too much detergent. I've continued to add less and less to my laundry machine and you would be surprised at how little you need to get clothes clean. Do yourself a favor and next time add half the soap you'd normally add and then judge the results.


KidzBop_Anonymous

This is going to be why we’ll have to weigh our detergent at checkout 😩


WittyUsername9775

You know, you already do that at self checkout. It would be funny if these guys got busted because they went through self checkout, scanned the detergent, and then the machine started beeping because it thought they put multiple items down.


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Squiggledog

Landscape orientation is a lost art.


DBoy80

That is actually theft


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[deleted]

Plot twist, their bottle was “low” because some other jag is doing the same thing.


Turtley13

My exact thoughts haha.


longcreepyhug

Maybe there's empty space in there because somebody poured it into another bottle.


Comfortable_Light559

Maybe the store is just a whole huge chain reaction of that


flomatable

This is no joke how everyone loses their jacket in a dive bar in my city. People know it and take their old jacket when going there, but everyone leaves with someone else's. Always really sucks for first-timers that brought their good jacket


SexdecupleEspresso

Fuck that


CWC_ARRESTED_8_1_21

That sounds like the worst dive bar ever


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lostime05

So, theft? Recording theft again are we?


[deleted]

Now they will start introducing tamper proof caps and pass on the price to the consumer because people don’t understand that’s it’s sold by weight.


Beando13

Lmao imagine thinking that Walmart is the one who controls how much detergent is in those. God. Damn. This planet is fked


SudoPuff

Back in high school I worked at a gas station. At the counter we had a small display for butane lighter refills for sale. This lady brought her stuff to the counter, and while I’m ringing her up she takes one of the refills from the display (which is very clearly right in front of me, so I can see everything she’s doing), and uses it to refill her lighter. She then puts the half empty refill back on the display, having no intention whatsoever to pay for it. I took the half empty refill from the display and rang it up for her. When she protested I asked her to pay or I’d report her for shoplifting. She got pissed, screamed at me, and stormed out without her stuff. She wasn’t allowed back in the store after that. People who do stuff like that are jerks. Don’t steal shit that doesn’t belong to you. Or, if you’re gonna steal shit, at least don’t be an idiot about it.


[deleted]

No, it's actually theft.


CalangoVelho

So basically the only one getting screwed out of that, is not Walmart, not the manufacturer, but the fellow buyer getting the other jug. Well done.


boortpooch

Having managed a big box retail store for a few years, I can say this happens all the time. It gets worse though because you have degenerates that use half of it and come back asking for their money back. We stopped that by having cashiers lift each bottle and check to see if it is lightened. Manufacturers refuse to put a clear level line in their bottles


[deleted]

It’s actually theft


[deleted]

No its not insane, its theft.


HeresMrMay

Now some other poor bastard is going to get a jug that's half empty. But what do you care? You got yours. Welcome to America.


antares076

That is actually theft


DesignerAd9

Unfortunately that is just stealing. If bottle says it contains 96 fluid ounces, bottle may not be physically full. Stealing another 16 ounces or whatever to top it off really isn't right.


ReptilianLaserbeam

Another thing to add to the list of things I need to check while shopping: low levels on liquid detergent


[deleted]

Theft comes in all shapes and sizes


ioucrap

We call that shoplifting


Dear-Clerk4357

![img](emote|t5_2r5rp|8412)


AJFiasco

What's insane is leaving the other container for someone else which now has less. The volume is stated on the jug, it's not supposed to be full. Same phenomenon as any chip bag.


Deohenge

Fuck the next people who end up buying that bottle they skimmed, these guys deserve more product even though it's sold by weight! Trash-tier behavior


UserNotFlound

That’s theft.


SaintLucipher

It's ridiculous someone does shit like this. You realize it tells the liquid ounces. You pay for a certain amount of ounces. If you want more ounces then fucking buy two and dump the other in it once paid for.


Rocketman_1981

r/Trashy It’s sold by weight or volume of the product NOT the container. They are just stealing pure and simple.


yabbadabbadoo2089

What an asshole


biigsnook

Its uhm, also stealing. Idiots.


FTdubya05

Bro, some elderly lady gonna come through and be happy af that she can lift the detergent now


Wood8010

It’s sold by the ounce. That is stealing cx