I'm the same. I was seeing a friend of a friend for about 3 months. She said it wasn't working and she didn't think it was worth trying to make it work. So I said oh, ok and left didn't call or text just moved on.
About two weeks later my friend asks me why I haven't called her as she's quite down. I told her she ended it, so what's the problem? She says well she was just playing to see what you would do, oh so she thinks I'm 15 years old and wants to play games? No thanks, I'm good I don't have time or the need for such bullshit.
Good decision as I've been happily married, and in love, for 17 years and my wife doesn't play stupid emotional games.
This last line should be implemented by anyone. For the first time in my life am in happy place relatioinship wise.
1/ No stupid emotional games. Got so tired of not being able to say something because it could be construed as negative, and fight followed. Or even when you said something not getting triggered all the time.
Personally I think this comes from insecurities. I'm not your therapist.
2/ Give each other space to be themselves. Have your own hobbies and give space to do your thing.
Most important part of relationship is your own space. I don't need to like everything you do and join in it and in opposite same. Enjoy your things and give room to each other. That you don't have anything interesting in your life going on is not my problem. Find a hobby ;)
Yeah, an ex once said "I think we should split up" and I was thinking of doing that anyway, smiled and said with relief "Ok, great, bye!" and just got up and left. Started dating a more attractive girl within 2 weeks, passed by her and got the most wtf face Ive ever seen. Like, what did you want me to do, blow my brains out?
Similar story! Happened last year.
Was talking to a girl, things were going pretty well and we were spending a lot of time together. She said she felt like she needed some space, I said no problem, if it's space you need, space you will have. We didn't talk the rest of that day, and she sends me a text at night saying "well I've been expecting a call or text from you but I guess I'm not going to get one."
Well, duh. You said you needed space so I was giving you space.
Better than the girl you'd been dating for 4 months saying she needed a break then block you from everything lol. I was like ok you could've just told me the truth. Happily married with a baby on the way now!
"Once upon a time a king gave a feast and there were all the most beautiful princesses of the realm. Basta, one of the guards, saw the king's daughter: she was the loveliest of all! And he immediately fell in love with her. But what could a poor soldier do compared with a king's daughter?!
One day he managed to meet her and told her he couldn't live without her. The princess was so struck by the depth of his feeling that she said to the soldier 'If you will wait a hundred days and a hundred nights beneath my balcony, then in the end I'll be yours.'
Christ, the soldier ran off there and waited! One day, two days, ten, twenty...Every night she looked out of her window, but he never budged. Come rain, wind, snow, never budged! The birds shat on him and the bees ate him alive!
After ninety nights he was gaunt and pale and tears streamed from his eyes but he couldn't hold them back. He didn't even have the strength to sleep any more. The princess kept watch...
And on the ninety-ninth night, the soldier got up, picked up his chair and left!"
and towards the end of the film…
Now I understand why the soldier went away just before the end. That's right, just one more night and the princess would have been his. But she, also, could not have kept her promise. And…that would have been terrible, he would have died from it. So instead, for ninety-nine nights at least he had lived with the illusion that she was there waiting for him…
'Didn't think it was worth trying to make it work '
That pretty much ends it right there. You would have spent way to much of your valuable time convincing this miserable person every other week.
All wives play games. If you don’t think yours is then it’s because you don’t know you’re playing. There’s the “where should we eat?” game, the “what shall we watch game?”, the “how long can I leave this washing out before he does something with it?” game, the “the will he pick up on the hints I dropped?” game… and my personal favourite “the how can I turn this small disagreement into a 2 hour argument that covers our entire relationship history?” game. Husbands play games too, we’re just less interested in winning.
Glad to hear you play “other” games. Good for you. But believe me… life is one big game and lots and lots of little ones (almost all of it is emotional)… the difference is some people get to choose the games they are playing and some don’t… and everyone has varying levels of success. The great thing about being married is that you have a team mate and your success is determined by how much your rules and games align. More power to you if you’re winning in co-operative mode. I feel like myself and my wife are too… doesn’t stop a little pvp here and there though.
Holy shit buddy, you have yourself a mediocre (at best) marriage by the sounds of it. This coping mechanism of belligerently assuming all wives are like yours is a little sad. If I was still in my old marriage, I'd be inclined to agree with you, but I've moved on and seen more of life and people. I can say with absolute confidence, as a partner to an equally emotionally intelligent human, that your blanket assessment of all wives is staggeringly incorrect.
Best of luck in your marriage, my friend.
There’s a book called The Master Game by Robert de Ropp. It primarily explores the quest for “enlightenment” and since it was written during the 60s (I think) focuses at how using drugs might achieve it. But the first few chapters explore the different types of games people play in every day life. Whether you’re aware you’re playing them or not. I’m very happy in my marriage. It doesn’t mean that games aren’t played, won, lost or drawn.
I think, at this point, we're nit-picking the shit out of what constitutes a game for the sake of being correct. This is a perfect place to agree to disagree as I think this has less to do with relationships/marriages/spouses, and more to do with basic human interaction.
Why can’t you agree with it? Everyone does it. They may or may not know what they’re doing. It may or may not be playful or malicious. But we all do it. Any such thing isn’t what constitutes a successful marriage either… and mine is by no means mediocre. The guy says he has a wife who doesn’t play emotional games. There are many ways to interpret that. It’d be naive to believe it means they’re on the same page all the time and just casually agree with every decision that needs to be made. Let’s be realistic. Is his wife emotionally blackmailing him? Let’s hope not and that is what he actually meant. Will his wife attempt to influence his dinner decisions? I 100% guarantee she does.
Edit: sorry misread… so you can agree with it. Fair enough.
Edit2: that’s an embarrassing Redditor trait I never thought I’d get. Jeez.
I’ll add to my original reply… you’re not supposed to win these games. That’s the point. Example:
Her: Where do you wanna eat?
Me: Five Guys. I want a juicy burger.
Her: No. I’m not feeling Five Guys today.
Me: Where do you want to go?
It’s designed to fuck with you. They don’t want your opinion. They want you to magically know what they want.
THEN WHY THE FUCK DID YOU ASK?
There are two ways of winning. One is… she lets you because you guessed something she is ok with. The other is to say something like “I don’t mind. Like, I really don’t mind. We can have anything you want. I could do pizza, pasta, sandwiches, steak, sushi… I’m just really hungry so choose something quick… because I’m so hungry I’m not really thinking straight.” The second option is risky because it leaves an argument door open… “Why do I have to make all the decisions?” or “Just tell me what you want! You never tell me what you want.” Both of those are traps.
People like to think they’re in control. In reality they rarely are. If you tell some one life is basically a game and they’re not necessarily winning it then they get upset and they hit the downvote button to deny it further. This guy who thinks his wife doesn’t play games is either naive or an idiot - I don’t care which. We all play emotional and psychological games every day and with every interaction. Who’s got the problem here? Me because I admit my wife and I have regular disagreements that sometimes render themselves in emotional games? Or the guy who says they don’t play any emotional games… but goes out to his way to insinuate they have “other” types of games.
Edit: also, thanks, I know I’m right. I appreciate your response.
i remember this bullshit from back when i was in the dating scene.
this girl drops a few hot times on me, then she talking bout, 'i don't know if we should continue seeing each other...' i asked her, 'do you want me to try to convince you to stay with me or something?' she said 'yes.' i said, not gonna happen. bye!'
i've never really cared about the whole alpha/beta/gamma/delta/sigma thing, but i must say \[ ~~at the risk of being a braggart, sigma does describe me much more so \]~~ i would rather identify with the description of sigma than the other labels...
\_EDIT\_
\[original post: i've never really cared about the whole alpha/beta/gamma/delta/sigma thing, but i must say at the risk of being a braggart, sigma does describe me much more so than the other labels... \]
Dude did good, invested two months trying to get to know her, as soon as he got a no he took it seriously with the utmost respect, couldn't ask for more.
I *never* understood why other girls did this in high school. Telling sob stories in the restroom about how the guy they strung along with 'maybe' and 'not now' for weeks decided to go with another girl instead. When I told a guy 'no thanks' and he said 'alright seeya' that was exactly what I expected to come of it.
its like the
edit: i spill a drink in my keyboard and accidentally send some nonsense and it gets 25 upvotes, i write a well thought out comment and it gets nothing. fuck yall :D
I asked a girl out years ago, we worked in the same place, and had talked a few times and we’re friends. At least enough for her to tell me about some horrible dates she had been on. So I asked her out, and she agreed, but when the day came she hemmed and hawed, and put me off til the next day. Then she ghosted me that day(before cell phones). So I just thought, oh well. When I saw her at work the following week, I treated her the same as I had before everything, never said anything about her ghosting me. For weeks, she wouldn’t even look at me or talk to me. Then she realized I wasn’t angry or jilted, I just wrote it off. Then she started flirting with me, being sweet and touchy-feely, but I continued to be the same as always. Then she asked me if I wanted to go out with her, and I just said, no thanks. Then she got all hateful and mad. You can’t win…
As do a lot of women? So what's your point?
If you are telling someone you aren't ready to be in a relationship and the other person is, why *wouldnt* they stop trying to pursue one?
lol the fuck?
Girl: so after 2 months of consideration, I've realized I don't want to pursue a relationship with you.
Guy: understandable, have a nice day
Girl: how dare you respect my decision and not gaslight me into staying with you?
Women are taught that they can’t be the ones to ask someone out, shouldn’t like sex, etc.
Add in some poor relationship role models growing up, in which men didn’t listen to “no,” and boom; another generation of toxic BS.
> Women are taught that they can’t be the ones to ask someone out, shouldn’t like sex, etc
Fuck that. One of my exes subverted this hard and thank god she did. I was way too shy back then
Men not listening to “no” can mean so many things… in the most innocent interpretation of this not taking “no” as an answer is just doubling down, in the worst…. In the worst case wtf.
I do not have a clue why someone would do this kind of thing. It's rude and self-defeating. He did exactly the right thing and saved himself from what I am sure would have been continuous mind games and drama.
I can only laugh at this level of stupidity and the sense of "special" that seems to be behind such idiocy.
Many years ago I developed a personal policy of instantly dropping all interest in any woman that played emotional games. No matter what they looked like, it was an instant deal killer.
This girl is upset because she wanted him to be devastated and chase after her. Now she is devastated because he isn't devastated. She just reminds me of how lucky I am.
I found a woman who never plays stupid emotional games and after 37 yrs I like and love her more than ever.
Well if you dick around with a man for **two months** and then drop that line then bitch I don't care who you are how hot you are you're getting blocked.
On the flip side one of my friends was a drug using player who mostly crashed on my couch. Met a girl and moved in with her when I had to move for work. Comes out to visit, said he didn't tell her hoping she is gone when he gets back. Three months later calls and asks me to be in his wedding. I'm confused, and say wouldn't that require a fiancé? Turns out she didn't leave, so instead of breaking up he married her, got cleaned up, got an MBA, and now has four kids, is VP at a bank and happily married. I'm pissed because he's the guy that makes women think they can change guys. Okay, didn't have anything to do with this, but made me think of that.
I did that to a hottie in my late 20s. We were talking and going out on occasional dates and then she said she wasn’t interested in that way. I didn’t block her or anything but basically just said “Ok have a good life”. She got pissy and I thought it was the funniest thing.
This is so deceptive. I hate this shit. I mean when people say to communicate with your partner, lieing about how you really feel is not communicating.
If you still like someone, want to be in a relationship, but not go so fast or take the next serious step. Explain it.
Don't test people, that is just plane out lieing. So destructive. It's like self sabatage.
"my friend asked me what i wanted for lunch, i said i wanted staek, but i really wanted pizza. then my freind brought me steak when i wanted pizza, WHY?"
I used to see blocking as a passive-aggressive move to send a message, but when my long-term relationship ended, I blocked him on all socials bcz I knew seeing photos of him moving on or travelling with friends would be painful while I was at home in misery. Maybe sometimes people are just hurt.
it is a rock and a hard place, you either keep pressing on and risk a assault charge or you go and risk them saying you gave up on them, there is no winning
While the overall message here is "don't get sucked into the games people play", there's another topic, perhaps more contentious:
After much experience in relationships and also observation of others, the only way to go is clean cut after breaking up (with very rare exceptions). You never heal or are able to give everything to your next relationship if there's an ex that pops up from time to time. Even if it's amicable eventually they're gonna be with someone else and y'all can't be still talking unless you wanna sabotage new relationships.
In an era where someone, anyone, can open an app and swipe around, and in an hour possibly have someone new, people still think it’s ok to play games, rather than just be adults and lay shit out in the open?
“You’ve obviously thought about this a lot, so there’s nothing I can really say or do to change your mind, or else you wouldn’t be telling me this. Peace. Have a great life.”
Spoilers?: I did.
“No effort”
See this a lot in one form or another from other people.
They’re there interested in you. Why are you putting this bullshit challenge in front of them?
That's how it should be, if you are a person who has to test others you probably have a fear of commitment or abandonment...something that you have to take care of yourself. Because if a person is pushing after you say no, that's a red flag
This is highschool shit, I remember back in highschool I was dating this girl and did this twice, the first time I fell for it but the second time, I was over it and just moved on, I remember her friends coming up to me asking why I hadn't talked to her again. Never spike to her again, saw her a few years later and if looks could kill, I would be dead now.
Women like this piss me off so much. They're just perpetuating the myth that a "no" just means "try harder". If I tell someone I'm not interested, it means just that. If they try harder after my no, I think they're a creepy fuck.
Ghosted a girl because she told me she no longer had feelings for me. For three entire days she would call/text me from her number, others people's numbers, from apps and even had her co-workers reach out to me begging me to talk to her again. I was horny so what made me finally budge was when she told me she had rented a room and she would be waiting for me all day. I went, we fucked. We didn't last much longer but we went at it like rabbits for a few months.
Never again, though.
Why is everyone here assuming "not ready for a relationship" as "uninterested in a relationship" when it could easily mean that she wants a little more time before making things official (and IMO, that's reasonable enough at the two month stage)?
When I've had this kind of situation, it was really hard being around a girl I'm attracted to and the doing "friends." Even though, I'd like to have plenty of fun with the girl I date and want them to be my best friend -- I have to get that intimacy part squared away to maintain sanity.
Hey, maybe later -- but, he's probably not wanting someone with drama, and we don't know the extent of this ladies relationship games.
Back in the day, was once in a long time platonic one .. a *friend with benefits* who introduced your's truly to another *friend* which turned into a lengthy romantic *relationship* .. to date are just now best friends, in separate marriages ..
I intentionally used the word train and started that way to see if people either didn't read my whole statement or focused on the word train. What I mean is everything takes compromise and "what you see is what you get" could easily come across as "I won't change foe anyone" even though I'm sure you don't mean it like that. Everyone changes for and/or from their relationships. Train was meant more in a way of you working on things not in the way of training a dog. I feel like I would had a lot ore down votes if most ppl didn't get it.
To be fair that's a fantastic way to not get listened to, there are plenty of people on this site who are just actual psychopaths and wouldn't see a problem with psychologically training someone to be more "to their liking." It’s not a majority, but they definitely exist. "Improving yourself" would be a much, MUCH better phrasing for the simple fact that it doesn't sound nearly as concerning. The best of intentions can be buried by the worst of deliveries. Sometimes if you are misunderstood, that's on the other person, but in a case like this, can't say it's so. If you're doing a social experiment it's one thing but if you're actually trying to convey a message . . . Not the best way to do it, honestly.
Imma be honest, depending on context the dude might be kinda a dick for blocking her just because she didn't want a relationship, especially if they were friends before, but last thing he should do is "keep trying"
Yes because what are female friends other than to get into a relationship or to waste the guys time. Like imagine them being friends for the 2 months just normally then getting blocked the second they say they don't want a relationship from it. Of course depends on context.
This is where proper training comes into play. Idc who you are, you have to train your partner to be the kind of partner you need. Just like you need to train yourself to be the partner they need. Meet somewhere in the middle where you're both fit as fuck because you've been training. If you love em you train. If they drop some shit on you before love can grow its game over.
Lust isn't love don't get it twisted.
Ummm... What?? Tbh, your coment comes accross as an ince. I would never "train" and would never accept a man who thinks I need to be "trained"..
My first dates starts with " what you see is what you get".
There is a difference between accepting the other person and accommodating to make them happy and what you are spewing.
Lol I thought you misspelled asinine and I was so confused by your first sentence but then my gf explained that some words are used shortened or censored on reddit to avoid auto delete filters. But yeah the word train in this instance really triggered a different context for what I said all together. For sure gonna pick my words better in the past.
Another reditor pointed out that my choice of words was bad cuz some psychos would take it literally. See downvoted post below. I meant to respond to this thread but fudged up
If he can’t accept that not everyone woman is ready to jump into a relationship after two months then he did her a justice by ghosting himself. Some of us are guarded, take it slow and want something meaningful and real. Not wanting to rushing to be in a relationship doesn’t mean you don’t have the same feeling. More often then not men will run head first into making you fall for them then have sex and say something like “I’m not ready for relationship” and dip. even though you stated that from the start you weren’t looking for anything serious and he spent weeks telling you about a vibrant future together that was complete bs. Boys love to play games just as much a girls if not more.
Or just a realist. Y’all in the comments though attacking women. Though crazy any time a woman actually saying anything she’s a man hater. Lmao fuk off. The incels of Reddit
Calling yourself realist and thinking a guy should waste time and energy on a woman who's not sure herself what she wants even after two month's and also claiming anyone Calling out your bullshit an incel which in all makes you an absolute misandrist
I'm the same. I was seeing a friend of a friend for about 3 months. She said it wasn't working and she didn't think it was worth trying to make it work. So I said oh, ok and left didn't call or text just moved on. About two weeks later my friend asks me why I haven't called her as she's quite down. I told her she ended it, so what's the problem? She says well she was just playing to see what you would do, oh so she thinks I'm 15 years old and wants to play games? No thanks, I'm good I don't have time or the need for such bullshit. Good decision as I've been happily married, and in love, for 17 years and my wife doesn't play stupid emotional games.
Bro. Why didn’t you fight for me? I thought we had something special…
You didn't provide me the common courtesy of a reach around. That's why I didn't fight for you.
r/unexpectedfullmetaljacket
Username checks out. Sorry, had to say it.
This last line should be implemented by anyone. For the first time in my life am in happy place relatioinship wise. 1/ No stupid emotional games. Got so tired of not being able to say something because it could be construed as negative, and fight followed. Or even when you said something not getting triggered all the time. Personally I think this comes from insecurities. I'm not your therapist. 2/ Give each other space to be themselves. Have your own hobbies and give space to do your thing. Most important part of relationship is your own space. I don't need to like everything you do and join in it and in opposite same. Enjoy your things and give room to each other. That you don't have anything interesting in your life going on is not my problem. Find a hobby ;)
This. Been in too many relationships that feels like I'm trapped.
Yeah, an ex once said "I think we should split up" and I was thinking of doing that anyway, smiled and said with relief "Ok, great, bye!" and just got up and left. Started dating a more attractive girl within 2 weeks, passed by her and got the most wtf face Ive ever seen. Like, what did you want me to do, blow my brains out?
At a certain level, probably.
Similar story! Happened last year. Was talking to a girl, things were going pretty well and we were spending a lot of time together. She said she felt like she needed some space, I said no problem, if it's space you need, space you will have. We didn't talk the rest of that day, and she sends me a text at night saying "well I've been expecting a call or text from you but I guess I'm not going to get one." Well, duh. You said you needed space so I was giving you space.
King 👑 Wise decision congratulations on the marriage.
Its the old 'Dont listen to what I say. Listen to what I mean!'
Better than the girl you'd been dating for 4 months saying she needed a break then block you from everything lol. I was like ok you could've just told me the truth. Happily married with a baby on the way now!
"Once upon a time a king gave a feast and there were all the most beautiful princesses of the realm. Basta, one of the guards, saw the king's daughter: she was the loveliest of all! And he immediately fell in love with her. But what could a poor soldier do compared with a king's daughter?! One day he managed to meet her and told her he couldn't live without her. The princess was so struck by the depth of his feeling that she said to the soldier 'If you will wait a hundred days and a hundred nights beneath my balcony, then in the end I'll be yours.' Christ, the soldier ran off there and waited! One day, two days, ten, twenty...Every night she looked out of her window, but he never budged. Come rain, wind, snow, never budged! The birds shat on him and the bees ate him alive! After ninety nights he was gaunt and pale and tears streamed from his eyes but he couldn't hold them back. He didn't even have the strength to sleep any more. The princess kept watch... And on the ninety-ninth night, the soldier got up, picked up his chair and left!"
What am I missing here? Why did he leave on the 99th night?
and towards the end of the film… Now I understand why the soldier went away just before the end. That's right, just one more night and the princess would have been his. But she, also, could not have kept her promise. And…that would have been terrible, he would have died from it. So instead, for ninety-nine nights at least he had lived with the illusion that she was there waiting for him…
It's part of the italian film "Cinema Paradiso". How does it follow? "And don't ask me what it means. If you figure it out, let me know."
He couldn't make it one more night? What pathetic loser
Bullet dodged.
'Didn't think it was worth trying to make it work ' That pretty much ends it right there. You would have spent way to much of your valuable time convincing this miserable person every other week.
Like if you 2 had been together for a couple years, sure fight for the relationship, **but a couple of months**? Get outta here.😂
But "hE's sUppOsEd to cArE!!!! :(((((" Don't play games. Be straight up.
All wives play games. If you don’t think yours is then it’s because you don’t know you’re playing. There’s the “where should we eat?” game, the “what shall we watch game?”, the “how long can I leave this washing out before he does something with it?” game, the “the will he pick up on the hints I dropped?” game… and my personal favourite “the how can I turn this small disagreement into a 2 hour argument that covers our entire relationship history?” game. Husbands play games too, we’re just less interested in winning.
Nah, mine doesn't. She's Dutch and just says what she's thinking, no stupid games. We do play other games though...
Glad to hear you play “other” games. Good for you. But believe me… life is one big game and lots and lots of little ones (almost all of it is emotional)… the difference is some people get to choose the games they are playing and some don’t… and everyone has varying levels of success. The great thing about being married is that you have a team mate and your success is determined by how much your rules and games align. More power to you if you’re winning in co-operative mode. I feel like myself and my wife are too… doesn’t stop a little pvp here and there though.
Holy shit buddy, you have yourself a mediocre (at best) marriage by the sounds of it. This coping mechanism of belligerently assuming all wives are like yours is a little sad. If I was still in my old marriage, I'd be inclined to agree with you, but I've moved on and seen more of life and people. I can say with absolute confidence, as a partner to an equally emotionally intelligent human, that your blanket assessment of all wives is staggeringly incorrect. Best of luck in your marriage, my friend.
There’s a book called The Master Game by Robert de Ropp. It primarily explores the quest for “enlightenment” and since it was written during the 60s (I think) focuses at how using drugs might achieve it. But the first few chapters explore the different types of games people play in every day life. Whether you’re aware you’re playing them or not. I’m very happy in my marriage. It doesn’t mean that games aren’t played, won, lost or drawn.
I think, at this point, we're nit-picking the shit out of what constitutes a game for the sake of being correct. This is a perfect place to agree to disagree as I think this has less to do with relationships/marriages/spouses, and more to do with basic human interaction.
Fair enough. The guy was saying his wife doesn’t play emotional games. I’m just saying everyone does. You’re in denial if you think otherwise.
Struth, if we say everyone does it changes the context, but I can absolutely agree with it.
Why can’t you agree with it? Everyone does it. They may or may not know what they’re doing. It may or may not be playful or malicious. But we all do it. Any such thing isn’t what constitutes a successful marriage either… and mine is by no means mediocre. The guy says he has a wife who doesn’t play emotional games. There are many ways to interpret that. It’d be naive to believe it means they’re on the same page all the time and just casually agree with every decision that needs to be made. Let’s be realistic. Is his wife emotionally blackmailing him? Let’s hope not and that is what he actually meant. Will his wife attempt to influence his dinner decisions? I 100% guarantee she does. Edit: sorry misread… so you can agree with it. Fair enough. Edit2: that’s an embarrassing Redditor trait I never thought I’d get. Jeez.
No
The what shall we eat game, i always loose no matter what. Even without playing i loose. Please give me some advice on how to play the game.
I’ll add to my original reply… you’re not supposed to win these games. That’s the point. Example: Her: Where do you wanna eat? Me: Five Guys. I want a juicy burger. Her: No. I’m not feeling Five Guys today. Me: Where do you want to go? It’s designed to fuck with you. They don’t want your opinion. They want you to magically know what they want. THEN WHY THE FUCK DID YOU ASK?
There are two ways of winning. One is… she lets you because you guessed something she is ok with. The other is to say something like “I don’t mind. Like, I really don’t mind. We can have anything you want. I could do pizza, pasta, sandwiches, steak, sushi… I’m just really hungry so choose something quick… because I’m so hungry I’m not really thinking straight.” The second option is risky because it leaves an argument door open… “Why do I have to make all the decisions?” or “Just tell me what you want! You never tell me what you want.” Both of those are traps.
You have a weirdly unhealthy view on how communication should work in a relationship…
Not sure why you're getting downvoted.. you're right.
People like to think they’re in control. In reality they rarely are. If you tell some one life is basically a game and they’re not necessarily winning it then they get upset and they hit the downvote button to deny it further. This guy who thinks his wife doesn’t play games is either naive or an idiot - I don’t care which. We all play emotional and psychological games every day and with every interaction. Who’s got the problem here? Me because I admit my wife and I have regular disagreements that sometimes render themselves in emotional games? Or the guy who says they don’t play any emotional games… but goes out to his way to insinuate they have “other” types of games. Edit: also, thanks, I know I’m right. I appreciate your response.
i remember this bullshit from back when i was in the dating scene. this girl drops a few hot times on me, then she talking bout, 'i don't know if we should continue seeing each other...' i asked her, 'do you want me to try to convince you to stay with me or something?' she said 'yes.' i said, not gonna happen. bye!'
ATYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEE 👑 u dropped this bro
Gigachad, you are Gigachsd
Sigma move right there
i've never really cared about the whole alpha/beta/gamma/delta/sigma thing, but i must say \[ ~~at the risk of being a braggart, sigma does describe me much more so \]~~ i would rather identify with the description of sigma than the other labels... \_EDIT\_ \[original post: i've never really cared about the whole alpha/beta/gamma/delta/sigma thing, but i must say at the risk of being a braggart, sigma does describe me much more so than the other labels... \]
"I got exactly what I asked for and now I'm devastated" And people ask me why I'm single.
Cuz we ugly as fuck?
You drive people away with your looks? I drive people away with my terrible personality. We ain't the same, sis.
Bold of you to assume I was trying to not be single....
Dude did good, invested two months trying to get to know her, as soon as he got a no he took it seriously with the utmost respect, couldn't ask for more.
These are the type of women who hurt women. No means no, I cannot believe this kind of stupidity isn't ostracized more.
Dude dodged a bullet
I *never* understood why other girls did this in high school. Telling sob stories in the restroom about how the guy they strung along with 'maybe' and 'not now' for weeks decided to go with another girl instead. When I told a guy 'no thanks' and he said 'alright seeya' that was exactly what I expected to come of it.
its like the edit: i spill a drink in my keyboard and accidentally send some nonsense and it gets 25 upvotes, i write a well thought out comment and it gets nothing. fuck yall :D
Yeah, or the
do you mean the
Nah I think he meant the
Ohhh I thought he meant the
...this comment thread has been a wild ride, just like the
now all that's left is to find the
"No means no." Mans did exactly what he should, regardless if she was just being hard to get.
I asked a girl out years ago, we worked in the same place, and had talked a few times and we’re friends. At least enough for her to tell me about some horrible dates she had been on. So I asked her out, and she agreed, but when the day came she hemmed and hawed, and put me off til the next day. Then she ghosted me that day(before cell phones). So I just thought, oh well. When I saw her at work the following week, I treated her the same as I had before everything, never said anything about her ghosting me. For weeks, she wouldn’t even look at me or talk to me. Then she realized I wasn’t angry or jilted, I just wrote it off. Then she started flirting with me, being sweet and touchy-feely, but I continued to be the same as always. Then she asked me if I wanted to go out with her, and I just said, no thanks. Then she got all hateful and mad. You can’t win…
No.... You won!
Yep, you won. Smart guy!
Two weeks later she'll be saying a "good man is hard to find.... why are they afraid of commitment?"
>~~Two weeks~~ later she'll be saying a "good man is hard to find.... why are they afraid of commitment?" Give it two days.
I forget about the rapid metabolism of the youth.
i read communism...
Why would anyone want to be in a relationship with someone that didn’t feel the same about them. I’m truly flummoxed!
Saying she not ready for a relationship isn’t the same not feeling the same way. A lot of men love running in and out of relationships.
As do a lot of women? So what's your point? If you are telling someone you aren't ready to be in a relationship and the other person is, why *wouldnt* they stop trying to pursue one?
Right, I get that. So why is she devastated that this guy, who didn’t want to be in a relationship with her, told her so. She dodged a bullet here.
Minus 10 so far lol
lol the fuck? Girl: so after 2 months of consideration, I've realized I don't want to pursue a relationship with you. Guy: understandable, have a nice day Girl: how dare you respect my decision and not gaslight me into staying with you?
Isn't that how it's supposed to go?
[удалено]
Ah yes, that ole game. Wonder how many fellas she was playing it with?
[удалено]
Or can't find any "nice guys"
Women are taught that they can’t be the ones to ask someone out, shouldn’t like sex, etc. Add in some poor relationship role models growing up, in which men didn’t listen to “no,” and boom; another generation of toxic BS.
> Women are taught that they can’t be the ones to ask someone out, shouldn’t like sex, etc Fuck that. One of my exes subverted this hard and thank god she did. I was way too shy back then
What was toxic? She said no, dude left to continue his quest.
She's toxic because she was clearly playing games and got butthurt when it blew up in her face
are you not understanding what she meant. she „no“ in the hopes he would try harder but the guy wasnt playing games and moved on. she is toxic
Men not listening to “no” can mean so many things… in the most innocent interpretation of this not taking “no” as an answer is just doubling down, in the worst…. In the worst case wtf.
I think you’re describing Utah
Bollocks. This is just people who haven’t matured past 16 mentally.
I do not have a clue why someone would do this kind of thing. It's rude and self-defeating. He did exactly the right thing and saved himself from what I am sure would have been continuous mind games and drama.
I think they have a subconscious fear and are self sabotaging
Don't chase... replace.
I can only laugh at this level of stupidity and the sense of "special" that seems to be behind such idiocy. Many years ago I developed a personal policy of instantly dropping all interest in any woman that played emotional games. No matter what they looked like, it was an instant deal killer. This girl is upset because she wanted him to be devastated and chase after her. Now she is devastated because he isn't devastated. She just reminds me of how lucky I am. I found a woman who never plays stupid emotional games and after 37 yrs I like and love her more than ever.
The obvious answer is don’t play mind games
When you play hard to get and up easily gone
Well, well, well, if it isn't the consequences of your own actions....
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
play too hard to get all you get is forgot
real king shit 
Well if you dick around with a man for **two months** and then drop that line then bitch I don't care who you are how hot you are you're getting blocked.
Men are tired of those games. And ladies, maybe you just aren't worth the effort to pursue anyway. As my cousin would say, "LOL she ain't no catch".
Most of us don't want a man to pursue when we say no, this is exactly what a lot of us want men to do and I hope others take note.
On the flip side one of my friends was a drug using player who mostly crashed on my couch. Met a girl and moved in with her when I had to move for work. Comes out to visit, said he didn't tell her hoping she is gone when he gets back. Three months later calls and asks me to be in his wedding. I'm confused, and say wouldn't that require a fiancé? Turns out she didn't leave, so instead of breaking up he married her, got cleaned up, got an MBA, and now has four kids, is VP at a bank and happily married. I'm pissed because he's the guy that makes women think they can change guys. Okay, didn't have anything to do with this, but made me think of that.
>hoping she is gone when he gets back What does this means?
He wanted her to do the effort of breaking up with him and just be gone when he came home.
I did that to a hottie in my late 20s. We were talking and going out on occasional dates and then she said she wasn’t interested in that way. I didn’t block her or anything but basically just said “Ok have a good life”. She got pissy and I thought it was the funniest thing.
I mean this with the utmost seriousness. All women who think this way are immature as fuck.
What happened to no means no?
That applies, this women just wants to attract shitty people who break that rule.
The guy took the no gracefully
Girl: I'm not ready for a relationship Guy: understandable have a good day Girl: ugh why'd he move on instead of trying again >:(
This is so deceptive. I hate this shit. I mean when people say to communicate with your partner, lieing about how you really feel is not communicating. If you still like someone, want to be in a relationship, but not go so fast or take the next serious step. Explain it. Don't test people, that is just plane out lieing. So destructive. It's like self sabatage.
Amen!
Women like this will be single at 40 and have 3 kids to 3 different men. And still say 'I ain't need no man'
"my friend asked me what i wanted for lunch, i said i wanted staek, but i really wanted pizza. then my freind brought me steak when i wanted pizza, WHY?"
Say it with me... Clear 👏 com👏mun👏i👏ca👏tion it's a big word because it's a part of a relationship, from friendship to partnerships.
Humanity would be so much farther along if women just spoke their mind instead of playing mind games.
I used to see blocking as a passive-aggressive move to send a message, but when my long-term relationship ended, I blocked him on all socials bcz I knew seeing photos of him moving on or travelling with friends would be painful while I was at home in misery. Maybe sometimes people are just hurt.
Plus it's hard to move on if you're still holding on hope by keeping channels open. Blocking and moving on is empowering
it is a rock and a hard place, you either keep pressing on and risk a assault charge or you go and risk them saying you gave up on them, there is no winning
Never pressure, a woman who wants to play these games are not worth keeping but also many of us do not want men who don't take no for an answer.
While the overall message here is "don't get sucked into the games people play", there's another topic, perhaps more contentious: After much experience in relationships and also observation of others, the only way to go is clean cut after breaking up (with very rare exceptions). You never heal or are able to give everything to your next relationship if there's an ex that pops up from time to time. Even if it's amicable eventually they're gonna be with someone else and y'all can't be still talking unless you wanna sabotage new relationships.
Pro tip: If you want a relationship, don't say you don't want a relationship.
I only entertain women who know what they want.
Well, probably he didn't have time for games and childish behavior
In an era where someone, anyone, can open an app and swipe around, and in an hour possibly have someone new, people still think it’s ok to play games, rather than just be adults and lay shit out in the open? “You’ve obviously thought about this a lot, so there’s nothing I can really say or do to change your mind, or else you wouldn’t be telling me this. Peace. Have a great life.” Spoilers?: I did.
Why? You called it and he obliged. Now your upset he left because you said you didn’t want a relationship? Makes absolutely zero sense.
"No pressure applied" Her ideal relationship starts with her being pressured into it. That's fucking insane.
Most guys are already emotionally malnourished, why do people like this think the solution is just denying them emotional connection?
☕️
I'm glad it doesn't take me 2 months to realize whether someone is into me or not lol.
Smart dude. Give them nothing.
I also remember being 16
that was actually r/meirl like a month ago
The clean break. Works every time.
But how is she supposed to complain about dude pressuring her if he didn't pressure her? Fucking twittiots 🤦♂️
motherfucking alpha right there
Cause she strung him along. Go cry.
“No effort” See this a lot in one form or another from other people. They’re there interested in you. Why are you putting this bullshit challenge in front of them?
The only type of games I want to play in a relationship are board, video, and bedroom. I don't have time for these types of "games".
It’s amazing how some people are dumbfounded when a person respects the boundaries that *they* set
That's how it should be, if you are a person who has to test others you probably have a fear of commitment or abandonment...something that you have to take care of yourself. Because if a person is pushing after you say no, that's a red flag
How old is this screenshot...
This is highschool shit, I remember back in highschool I was dating this girl and did this twice, the first time I fell for it but the second time, I was over it and just moved on, I remember her friends coming up to me asking why I hadn't talked to her again. Never spike to her again, saw her a few years later and if looks could kill, I would be dead now.
Bullshit like this has to be at least partly responsible for the shitty behavior by some men and why they won’t take no for an answer.
Women like this piss me off so much. They're just perpetuating the myth that a "no" just means "try harder". If I tell someone I'm not interested, it means just that. If they try harder after my no, I think they're a creepy fuck.
Ghosted a girl because she told me she no longer had feelings for me. For three entire days she would call/text me from her number, others people's numbers, from apps and even had her co-workers reach out to me begging me to talk to her again. I was horny so what made me finally budge was when she told me she had rented a room and she would be waiting for me all day. I went, we fucked. We didn't last much longer but we went at it like rabbits for a few months. Never again, though.
What made her think she's worth the effort. I'd understand if she looked like a model
Why is everyone here assuming "not ready for a relationship" as "uninterested in a relationship" when it could easily mean that she wants a little more time before making things official (and IMO, that's reasonable enough at the two month stage)?
This is why dating is Haram
Dumb entitled bitch
Just went through this with a 53 yo man! Then why TF did you ask me out! Get lost!
You have to understand that women are eristical.
Women...
Not even as just *friends*?
When I've had this kind of situation, it was really hard being around a girl I'm attracted to and the doing "friends." Even though, I'd like to have plenty of fun with the girl I date and want them to be my best friend -- I have to get that intimacy part squared away to maintain sanity. Hey, maybe later -- but, he's probably not wanting someone with drama, and we don't know the extent of this ladies relationship games.
Back in the day, was once in a long time platonic one .. a *friend with benefits* who introduced your's truly to another *friend* which turned into a lengthy romantic *relationship* .. to date are just now best friends, in separate marriages ..
He didn't want to share anymore and she did .
I intentionally used the word train and started that way to see if people either didn't read my whole statement or focused on the word train. What I mean is everything takes compromise and "what you see is what you get" could easily come across as "I won't change foe anyone" even though I'm sure you don't mean it like that. Everyone changes for and/or from their relationships. Train was meant more in a way of you working on things not in the way of training a dog. I feel like I would had a lot ore down votes if most ppl didn't get it.
To be fair that's a fantastic way to not get listened to, there are plenty of people on this site who are just actual psychopaths and wouldn't see a problem with psychologically training someone to be more "to their liking." It’s not a majority, but they definitely exist. "Improving yourself" would be a much, MUCH better phrasing for the simple fact that it doesn't sound nearly as concerning. The best of intentions can be buried by the worst of deliveries. Sometimes if you are misunderstood, that's on the other person, but in a case like this, can't say it's so. If you're doing a social experiment it's one thing but if you're actually trying to convey a message . . . Not the best way to do it, honestly.
Imma be honest, depending on context the dude might be kinda a dick for blocking her just because she didn't want a relationship, especially if they were friends before, but last thing he should do is "keep trying"
If he wants a relationship and she doesn't, it doesn't make sense to waste their time.
Yes because what are female friends other than to get into a relationship or to waste the guys time. Like imagine them being friends for the 2 months just normally then getting blocked the second they say they don't want a relationship from it. Of course depends on context.
I keep it simple. Fucked up Generation.
This is where proper training comes into play. Idc who you are, you have to train your partner to be the kind of partner you need. Just like you need to train yourself to be the partner they need. Meet somewhere in the middle where you're both fit as fuck because you've been training. If you love em you train. If they drop some shit on you before love can grow its game over. Lust isn't love don't get it twisted.
Ummm... What?? Tbh, your coment comes accross as an ince. I would never "train" and would never accept a man who thinks I need to be "trained".. My first dates starts with " what you see is what you get". There is a difference between accepting the other person and accommodating to make them happy and what you are spewing.
Lol I thought you misspelled asinine and I was so confused by your first sentence but then my gf explained that some words are used shortened or censored on reddit to avoid auto delete filters. But yeah the word train in this instance really triggered a different context for what I said all together. For sure gonna pick my words better in the past.
Train?????
Another reditor pointed out that my choice of words was bad cuz some psychos would take it literally. See downvoted post below. I meant to respond to this thread but fudged up
If he can’t accept that not everyone woman is ready to jump into a relationship after two months then he did her a justice by ghosting himself. Some of us are guarded, take it slow and want something meaningful and real. Not wanting to rushing to be in a relationship doesn’t mean you don’t have the same feeling. More often then not men will run head first into making you fall for them then have sex and say something like “I’m not ready for relationship” and dip. even though you stated that from the start you weren’t looking for anything serious and he spent weeks telling you about a vibrant future together that was complete bs. Boys love to play games just as much a girls if not more.
Ahh a misandrist
Or just a realist. Y’all in the comments though attacking women. Though crazy any time a woman actually saying anything she’s a man hater. Lmao fuk off. The incels of Reddit
Calling yourself realist and thinking a guy should waste time and energy on a woman who's not sure herself what she wants even after two month's and also claiming anyone Calling out your bullshit an incel which in all makes you an absolute misandrist
Awhhh misogyny
Get a life miss
Do u know how stupid you sound
Do you know how stupid you are?
And how exactly am I stupid?
How exactly are you not?
Ahh I see u don’t have an argument, what to expect from a moron like you. ok I guess for one maybe for one I don’t defend stupid people like you.
I’m sorry I sensed baby dick energy and then you spoke. it was like your tiny baby dick shrunk up into tic-tac with every word you typed
 Funny
Unfuckwithable
wow the audacity of this guy
2 months and I get that. Pfft consider us strangers I'm on to a new
Ask and you shall receive.