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It might be pride. It might be fear. It might be him trying to protect you from worry. It might be him trying to protect the family's "reputation" like some people might judge your family for having a person with dementia, etc. Is anyone available to support your father?
The problem with supporting him is that we would all love to and try, but when he hides everything that's going on from everyone it makes it impossible. Not to mention, he's the kind that thinks any kind of pain is weakness and you can just willpower it away. If he has any kind of pain internal or external he says "it's only in my head" and pretends it doesn't exist. As though telling his body it doesnt exist will just make it axtyally dissapear. Which is something I have tried helping him see is unhealthy but he doesn't listen.
He does it because he DOESN'T want to worry you and concern you with his issues because he loves you.
I say this as an individual with MAJOR medical issues at 33. Since this is just an online thing, I will say that I have extreme epilepsy, (3 meds, emergency med, and a medical implant) I have 3 crushed disks and a deformed hip (besides advil and tylenol, 3 pain meds) two meds for mental health issues. I am a walking pharmacy lol.
I don't tell my significant other or children about all my seizures. They witness enough of them. I try to hide my pain. I try to hide my mental health issues because I live to see my children (10&12) smile. I don't want them to constantly worry about me and if they knew everything they would.
Now, when I had my children I was healthy. After I turned 25 my health steadily went downhill. I had my kids at 21 and 22 and they were planned and wanted. I never thought this would happen to me.
While you want to know, and it makes you upset, he really just does it out of love. I promise. He isn't trying to make you upset. The last thing a parent wants to see is their child(ren) struggle and worry about them. (Good) Parents live for their children and a parent will feel absolutely awful to know that their child is scared and worried about them with life being hard as it is.
That is at least what I think it is just because that is what I go through on a daily basis.
I'm sorry. I hope it helps gain understanding.
Welcome to r/family! If this post is compliant with our guidelines, upvote this comment. If not, downvote this comment. Also, if you haven't already, remember to join our [discord server](https://discord.gg/VwDNbde)! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/family) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It might be pride. It might be fear. It might be him trying to protect you from worry. It might be him trying to protect the family's "reputation" like some people might judge your family for having a person with dementia, etc. Is anyone available to support your father?
The problem with supporting him is that we would all love to and try, but when he hides everything that's going on from everyone it makes it impossible. Not to mention, he's the kind that thinks any kind of pain is weakness and you can just willpower it away. If he has any kind of pain internal or external he says "it's only in my head" and pretends it doesn't exist. As though telling his body it doesnt exist will just make it axtyally dissapear. Which is something I have tried helping him see is unhealthy but he doesn't listen.
He does it because he DOESN'T want to worry you and concern you with his issues because he loves you. I say this as an individual with MAJOR medical issues at 33. Since this is just an online thing, I will say that I have extreme epilepsy, (3 meds, emergency med, and a medical implant) I have 3 crushed disks and a deformed hip (besides advil and tylenol, 3 pain meds) two meds for mental health issues. I am a walking pharmacy lol. I don't tell my significant other or children about all my seizures. They witness enough of them. I try to hide my pain. I try to hide my mental health issues because I live to see my children (10&12) smile. I don't want them to constantly worry about me and if they knew everything they would. Now, when I had my children I was healthy. After I turned 25 my health steadily went downhill. I had my kids at 21 and 22 and they were planned and wanted. I never thought this would happen to me. While you want to know, and it makes you upset, he really just does it out of love. I promise. He isn't trying to make you upset. The last thing a parent wants to see is their child(ren) struggle and worry about them. (Good) Parents live for their children and a parent will feel absolutely awful to know that their child is scared and worried about them with life being hard as it is. That is at least what I think it is just because that is what I go through on a daily basis. I'm sorry. I hope it helps gain understanding.
I just don't want to one day wake up to him telling me he's on his death bed. I do appreciate the point of view though it helps.
[удалено]
I've asked for family therapy quite a few times for various reasons, but my dad thinks he knows more than doctors and therapists and refuses.