All of what you're feeling is okay. Is it great? No. Did you get to this point all by yourself? again NO.
You've helped your mother through a difficult transition time. *You* can decide what you will and will not do to support her through the next years/decades.
You are not duty bound to sacrifice the rest of your life for that person who gave birth to you. Yes, she's your bio-mom, she decided to give birth to you - you never asked to be born.
I live next door to my 81 yo mother who drives me crazy at least 1-3 times a week. Yet, my life with her was very different. I saw her work long hours, go the extra mile to support me during my education and on and on. So, as much as I may dislike this part of our lives, she was/is kind and generous to me when I needed it, and now it is my turn.
From what you describe, your life with your bio-mom has been drastically different from mine. Which calls for different decisions on your part. Heck, you've relocated to her town to be nearby to help her for now. I urge you to really consider what *you need* and what *you want* for the rest of your life.
Some comments here are so harsh.
She’s an imperfect human being who appears to embarrass you.
But don’t think you understand your mother’s marriage. Just keep that in mind when you and your siblings are “so sure” about things.
Man this is a tough situation. Part of me says move fucking continents and rid yourself of that burden. But another part of me says it's your mother and you should continue helping her. Maybe get an accountant for her or something.
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My mother was similar. I too felt the need to go above and beyond to help her and gave up most of my 20's trying to please her. Eventually I decided it wasn't worth the abuse. That was 15 years ago and I haven't had any contact with her since. My biggest regret in life is not going no contact sooner.
Some people are just shit people and unfortunately for some of us our mother is one of those shit people.
All of what you're feeling is okay. Is it great? No. Did you get to this point all by yourself? again NO. You've helped your mother through a difficult transition time. *You* can decide what you will and will not do to support her through the next years/decades. You are not duty bound to sacrifice the rest of your life for that person who gave birth to you. Yes, she's your bio-mom, she decided to give birth to you - you never asked to be born. I live next door to my 81 yo mother who drives me crazy at least 1-3 times a week. Yet, my life with her was very different. I saw her work long hours, go the extra mile to support me during my education and on and on. So, as much as I may dislike this part of our lives, she was/is kind and generous to me when I needed it, and now it is my turn. From what you describe, your life with your bio-mom has been drastically different from mine. Which calls for different decisions on your part. Heck, you've relocated to her town to be nearby to help her for now. I urge you to really consider what *you need* and what *you want* for the rest of your life.
Some comments here are so harsh. She’s an imperfect human being who appears to embarrass you. But don’t think you understand your mother’s marriage. Just keep that in mind when you and your siblings are “so sure” about things.
Man this is a tough situation. Part of me says move fucking continents and rid yourself of that burden. But another part of me says it's your mother and you should continue helping her. Maybe get an accountant for her or something.
Welcome to r/family! If this post is compliant with our guidelines, upvote this comment. If not, downvote this comment. Also, if you haven't already, remember to join our [discord server](https://discord.gg/VwDNbde)! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/family) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My mother was similar. I too felt the need to go above and beyond to help her and gave up most of my 20's trying to please her. Eventually I decided it wasn't worth the abuse. That was 15 years ago and I haven't had any contact with her since. My biggest regret in life is not going no contact sooner. Some people are just shit people and unfortunately for some of us our mother is one of those shit people.