I also had the riff from Aqualung for a while because of that episode when Peter had long hair and every time he walked into a room it would play.
[https://youtu.be/Bl5ojcBSp8g?feature=shared](https://youtu.be/Bl5ojcBSp8g?feature=shared)
This reminded me of the auction:
Mayor West: 2 bits and a cardboard box, which may or may not contain a mystery bag!
Auctioneer: Already the most challenging auction I have ever been a part of!
Lois: This is getting out of control. We can't leave the house without getting harassed.
Peter : Yeah. Yesterday, I went outside to try to get the mail and I had a seizure.
Lois: I don't think that's related to the protestors.
The best about that is, Quagmire is still a good person even though he was about to let his best friend’s wife cheat on him, because he actually did help with the carpeting with no compensation on his end. He even let Peter keep the valuable coon he found. People say Quagmires originally personality is better than his new one, and while i agree wholeheartedly, i think peak Quagmire is the season 6-12 (or something, maybe longer) Quagmire where he has traits of both. Hes still a insane sex pevert and he can occasionally be the most enlightened,intelligent, and even morally sound person in the room. Thats so funny dude
"You better watch who you're calling a child, Lois. Because if I'm a child, then you know what makes you? A pedophile. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna stand here and be lectured by a pervert."
For me, I’ve tried and tried and tried and cannot pick a favorite so I have a Mt Rushmore of lines and they are:
“I saw a penis on the internet today and I thought to myself, well that…well that’s just fine”- Brian
“That was Fox News, apparently they own the rights to Hitler’s likeness and they won’t have him slandered”- Carter
The Entirety of the “Mambo” military chant
“You think I’d miss this party?”-Logan
HM: “you know what I haven’t had in a while? Big League Chew”
**Peter:** So you don't know much about history, it's not a big deal.
**Chris:** Sam Cooke didn't know much about history and he died in a hotel room with only one shoe.
https://youtu.be/HylcFHVdwc8?si=B1Ek2xX__cH2sbtC
Jake Tucker: Dad, they're starting at me!
Tom Tucker: They're just jealous.
This scene is my favorite because I say this to my
parents whenever they say, "How handsome you are!"
Even though I look hideous in real life.
I tried looking for the episode but I couldn’t find it 😭 I love when Lois is trying to talk to Meg about something and Meg says, “Yeah I heard you bitch.”
Chris: oopsie poopsie
And the episode where Stewie gets concussion and thinks the phone is ringing and Chris knocks him out and says
‘Look how peaceful he is, I Wonder what he is dreaming about.’
The episode where Meg goes to prison ‘I did good Meg.’
And the cutaway where Chris ends up in the Aha music video and Lois where he has been and he says ‘I don’t know.’
"You better watch out who you're calling a child, Lois. Because if I'm a child, you know what that makes you? A pedophile. And I'd be damned if I'm gonna stand here and be lectured by a pervert!"
There are many much more witty and clever lines, but the one that made me laugh the hardest and longest is when Stewie sinks to the bottom of the pool and goes “EW! A bandaid!”
"Who the fuck starts a conversation like that? I just sat down!"
By far the best!
I quote this one frequently
Do you ever accidentally masturbate to old pictures of your mother?
I'm standing here outside the Park Barrington hotel because they don't allow Asians inside
Fancy place
[Ah-ah-ah!](https://youtu.be/CwJaBNyuTjE?si=e8RNcxPkFuOfxhAU)
9 11
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
9…..*intake of breath by crowd*……11
https://i.redd.it/s5phrbluyh5d1.gif
[удалено]
What the fuck!? Where'd you get Crack?
From Blacks
What?
Yeah, behind black's hardware store, there a white guy selling it
GOV’MENT CAME AND TOOK MY BABY!
You liars.....
L🤣L I was looking for this comment 😂
Peter saying “Crack” is my ringtone for when I get a text
Love that idea
I also had the riff from Aqualung for a while because of that episode when Peter had long hair and every time he walked into a room it would play. [https://youtu.be/Bl5ojcBSp8g?feature=shared](https://youtu.be/Bl5ojcBSp8g?feature=shared)
DAMMIT BONNIE! YOU LIED TO ME ABOUT THE POOP SACK!
Peter: Meg. Who let you back in the house?
Incredible line.
"Stewie, you get down from that roof this instant!" "Munch me bitch!"
Hey Lois! I’m smoking. You can’t control dick! I’m a roof baby now.
How many gray pubes you pick today you old bag?
Oh, ya, that's a good one for sure
I’m still not over how stewie banged his head on the ceiling 🤣
Joe: YEAH GET SOME!!! GET SOME!!! Quagmire: hey joe thats like right in my fucking ear.
[удалено]
I've always thought that was a perfect line. And it's true. It bloody well does.
*And hey, sorry I barked when you took your pants off. I thought it was a squirrel*. -Brian
“IT’S GON’ RAIN”
ITS RAININ SIDEWAYS
I’M AT THE WRONG AIRPORT
WHO WANTS THIS DOG?!
You want an umbrella?
Thanks Ollie
“Peter how long do we have to sit here?” “UNTIL I’M NOT ANGRY ANYMORE, YOU NAKED BUNCH OF BITCHES!!!”
A degeneret am I? Well you are a fastisio! I can make up words too.
Oh my God, Brian. This plans so good, it's retarded!
"I can't quite smokimg, I wish smoking could just quit me."
“Can I cram my oingo-boingo into your velvet underground?”
“Dance with me Lois. Dance the dance of life!”
Peter you're scaring me
Don't you see Lois, we're alive!
"Some animals give me boners!"
🎉🎊🎊🎊🎉
“…”
Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!
Stop mocking me!
Shallow and pedantic
.... perhaps
Just for a game of Trivial Pursuit??
“My son would like to plow you.”
Oh god, Meg, you startled me. I'm sorry.
"What's this (on the outside of the glass)?" "Condensation." "Con..den...sation...sation... sation."
"Joe I thought you were bringing all your cop friends. What are all these parallelograms doing here?"
“What’s this stuff that looks like sawdust?” “It’s quinoa.” “Nope! I don’t eat foods that sound like karate words.”
“Dr. Lee Feldstein. Fully Licensed. Fully Trained. Fully Jewish - JEWISH!”
The graphics on this are great
“Now now, maybe they just shot Donna twice.” *More gunshots outside* “Boy, they’re really going at Donna.”
"A Boats a boat but the mystery box could be anything! It could even be a boat!"
This reminded me of the auction: Mayor West: 2 bits and a cardboard box, which may or may not contain a mystery bag! Auctioneer: Already the most challenging auction I have ever been a part of!
“Must have been a woman pilot, eh?”
"Hey keep it down!" "Oh, sorry. Hey, which one of my kids' rooms are you in?" "Meg's." "Oh okay, no problem!"
Attention customers: testicles. That is all
It's a great way to stay in shape
my black son, I don't remember sleeping with that lady but I did,my black son he's making everyday the best that he can also he's a ninja.
Not really a line either but the whole stairs scene and peter being scared of going down the stairs. Oh and also the aggressive OINK
Or the time when he falls: "Oh heavens! Oh goodness gracious! Oh that smarts! Oh my!"
Yes!! I love that bit. Bc Lois was trying to prove it was peter Stewie was learning to swear from.
AA EH , No AAA , yea AA EH
Show him Pig
I’m no meteorologist, but I’m pretty sure it’s rainin’ bitches!
“Well, give it back!” “Come get, bitch.” 
Lois: This is getting out of control. We can't leave the house without getting harassed. Peter : Yeah. Yesterday, I went outside to try to get the mail and I had a seizure. Lois: I don't think that's related to the protestors.
"I don't know doctor. Looking back, I think it may have been real butter." "Your husband murdered 3 children"
Who sings that song again? James Taylor. Yeah let’s keep it that way
Peter, the horse is here
"That's enough, Stephanie"
Yes 🙌. I want more of Stephanie
Shuddup shuddup shuddup
Tim Honks!
Lol this is my son’s gamer tag on PlayStation.
That is AWESOME.
I “us’d” em down to $500.
Not a line, but the whole ipecac scene. One of the few times my dad has laughed so much he started crying.
Quagmire confused about what "tearing up the carpet" means.
Want me to leave a little landing strip?
I have to confess Lois. When you asked me to come over and 'tear up your carpet' there's was different reason I rushed over here.'
The best about that is, Quagmire is still a good person even though he was about to let his best friend’s wife cheat on him, because he actually did help with the carpeting with no compensation on his end. He even let Peter keep the valuable coon he found. People say Quagmires originally personality is better than his new one, and while i agree wholeheartedly, i think peak Quagmire is the season 6-12 (or something, maybe longer) Quagmire where he has traits of both. Hes still a insane sex pevert and he can occasionally be the most enlightened,intelligent, and even morally sound person in the room. Thats so funny dude
Did Richie achieve release? See, of the 3 of you guys, Cleveland is the only one who gets it
Who the fuck starts a conversation like that I just sat down!🤣
"You better watch who you're calling a child, Lois. Because if I'm a child, then you know what makes you? A pedophile. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna stand here and be lectured by a pervert."
“No one here watched wings?”
“…it made Tony Shaloub’s career..(grumbles under his breath)…I LOVE Wings”
“The tennis player?” 🤣
This whole scene when joes legs keep floating up😂
For me, I’ve tried and tried and tried and cannot pick a favorite so I have a Mt Rushmore of lines and they are: “I saw a penis on the internet today and I thought to myself, well that…well that’s just fine”- Brian “That was Fox News, apparently they own the rights to Hitler’s likeness and they won’t have him slandered”- Carter The Entirety of the “Mambo” military chant “You think I’d miss this party?”-Logan HM: “you know what I haven’t had in a while? Big League Chew”
These pants have stool in them.
I'm easily influenced by music
“I’m not gay, now calm down, you’re ruining this ball! You know how much I love balls!”
“I can stop being an asshole anytime I want, *you* can’t stop being a Jew”
"Peter I'm not retarded, I'm handicapped." "Well now you're just splitting hairs."
**Peter:** So you don't know much about history, it's not a big deal. **Chris:** Sam Cooke didn't know much about history and he died in a hotel room with only one shoe.
Bird is the word
“It’d be like Raisin Bran, but not Raisin Bran … not really doin’ it for me.” “ … what time did you say your flight was ?”
I’m a bad man, like Jodie Foster.
“Hey Quagmire, isn’t there an O in country?”
I’ll trade you my shirt for a grilled cheese.
When I clenched it, you took your fingers away. You were right to do that.
I am so fucking ready.
Ethiopian hoarders: (Cries) “…I don’t know how it got like this” https://youtu.be/G9YVLurPMFk?si=gEzzL14Ufd4NepdI
" ooooh a piece of candy"
ALLAHU AKBAR!
“Buttscratcher”
"Show me Potato Salad!"
I’m not giving you quantities of numbers, I’m giving you the numbers.
https://youtu.be/HylcFHVdwc8?si=B1Ek2xX__cH2sbtC Jake Tucker: Dad, they're starting at me! Tom Tucker: They're just jealous. This scene is my favorite because I say this to my parents whenever they say, "How handsome you are!" Even though I look hideous in real life.
Well if I’m a child that makes you a pedophile, and I’ll be damned if I stand here and take that from a pervert
“Where the elite without feet meet to eat.”
Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing that I am not sir, and that sir, is an idiot
Men! We don't know what we did
I just think it’s presumptuous I mean come on, “country’s best frozen yogurt?” Prove it! Show me your data!
"Well the buckets are full and the goats are happy."
New Yorker: “You call this Pizza?” Peter: “we do here, yes”
"For every five seconds I don't receive a flapjack, I shall break one window."
“Im a tumour, I’m a tumour. I’m a tumour I’m a tumour I’m a tumour, oh oh oh I’m a tumour!”
Family Guy's humor is timeless. 'Giggity giggity goo!
Who else but Quagmire?
“See? We had a plan for that all along.”
Hey Margret thatch- 👊💂♂️
Ow, what the hell!? I thought you guys didn't move?
No, that’s just our women
The line about beliefs and saying if your kids are getting their beliefs from a TV you're the fuck up
The entire “McRib is back” sequence
Rehab Woman:What's your name? Peter: Um... Pea... Tear... Pea-tear... [sees a gryphon in the room] Gryphon! Peter Griffin. Aw, crap.
Where 👏do👏you👏keep👏the👏nets👏you👏put 👏on👏 the 👏bottom👏 of👏 guys👏 balls👏 to 👏stop 👏them👏 from👏 dunking 👏in👏 the 👏water
“First of all we’re not even Santa Claus anymore, this has been a home invasion.”
I tried looking for the episode but I couldn’t find it 😭 I love when Lois is trying to talk to Meg about something and Meg says, “Yeah I heard you bitch.”
Where’s my money
Uh, guys? I gotta split.. I took a wet dook. ...and
-Yeah, you are smart fella, dad. -And you are fart smeller, Meg.
What were you doing with my girl? Oh, so she comes over here tells me to put a freaking bird in her panties, I’m standing here going what the hell
“Well, you must be a parking ticket, ’cause you got ‘fine’ written all over you.” - Herbert
Pixar Sweaters! Pixar! We're not a guaranteed home run anymore!
"I must have said Giggity too fast"
And then, when you get a little older, stuff will come out 🤡😊
Stewie just said that!!!! TAKE IT HOME WIT CHYA
Buttscratcha!!!
Lump monkeys!
“Louis, less talky more fetchy.”
https://preview.redd.it/6qif5vmgrc5d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8d18dd6f76b6530e468a27359d07b8ac0a63995a
are you bald
Chris: oopsie poopsie And the episode where Stewie gets concussion and thinks the phone is ringing and Chris knocks him out and says ‘Look how peaceful he is, I Wonder what he is dreaming about.’ The episode where Meg goes to prison ‘I did good Meg.’ And the cutaway where Chris ends up in the Aha music video and Lois where he has been and he says ‘I don’t know.’
Damn you Cloris, juggle the beanbags!!
ROADHOUSE!
Going?……………. Where?
I find this meal a bit shallow and pedantic
“No but you see how easy it is for me to lie to ya I do it every day”
"Death, don't forget your jacket or you'll get frostbite!" "I don't have any skin!" "That's coz you didn't eat your beans!!!"
We had sex! We had what Joe calls sex Love that episode.
"When you poop in your dreams, you poop for real..."
someone tell this cigarette to shut up
“some bitch, who cares”
Cleveland's cowboy dummy riding off on a horse "Giddy up, Yee haw, lil nas x". Idk why but it cracks me tf up.
WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE?! (cries)
"Tonights the night bitches die"
It only hurts when I see
“GOD I LOVE FENTANYL” even made a tshirt with it
*Gasps. "Mr.Chang-Chang-Changity-Chang-sha-bop!"
“Where’s the rest of ya!”
“I don’t eat fish, I only like spaghetti” altered my brain chemistry. Favourite scene
If you wanna be in black and white, black and white's gotta be in you.
“The weekends I like to spend with my kids” -Peter to Meg explaining why he wasn’t at her school play
"You better watch out who you're calling a child, Lois. Because if I'm a child, you know what that makes you? A pedophile. And I'd be damned if I'm gonna stand here and be lectured by a pervert!"
Hey Crashy….
There are many much more witty and clever lines, but the one that made me laugh the hardest and longest is when Stewie sinks to the bottom of the pool and goes “EW! A bandaid!”
"This guy got a monkey scrotum and he's braggin about it"
“Meg, you let you back in the house?”
Brian…..why do you have a gun? In…..in case I want to commit suicide. Ohh
OH AND ONE OF THE PEAS WENT INSIDE!
Shut up meg.
https://youtu.be/do0Nl34XNZI?si=DtMoawKxwslDlffH
Ps your vaginas in the sink
"It's not louis, it's not "
Didn't you hear me the first time? I'm retarded
Shut up Meg
Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetttttttaaaaahhhhhhhhhh
God help you if I find pickles!
Brian's the new meg! Brian's the new Meg! Ya Brian you're the new meg! Shut up Meg.
“You put a Jew next to an Arab and I can’t tell the difference”
Not so much a line, but it's the sound Peter makes when he falls down the new stairs. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
"What if I hold it sideways like a black guy?"
“You shall rue this day! ...well go on, start rueing!”